X-Men #11

X-Men #11
Writing: Jim Lee and Scott Lobdell
Art: Jim Lee and Mark Texeira

What Went Down: It turns out Dazzler did survive the fight from last issue…surprise. This issue opens with her discussing the plot with the leader of the resistance, Mojo II—the Sequel. Get it, it’s a media joke. His story is that he is a clone of Mojo with one flaw—he has a spine. After summarizing the events of last issue and dropping a few movie related jokes, the scene switches to half of the X-Men Blue Team fighting the other half (because they’re brainwashed).

Back at his evil lair, Mojo is gloating at the captive Professor X; apparently Mojo forgot that the Professor is a mutant because he does nothing while Xavier uses his powers to free the X-Men.

While everyone is watching the X-Men, Mojo II and Dazzler attempt to sneak into Mojo’s base, but they are ambushed. Jubilee snaps Wolverine out of his trance by making him mad, and he is able to weaken the wall made out of Mojonium.

Everyone bursts in at once and a fight ensues with Mojo; he holds his own and manages to kill a large group of rebels with an energy blast. Then Longshot takes a sword (which he got…somewhere?) and stabs the bad guy with it, theoretically killing him. Of course, he comes back later with no explanation of how he survived, but there you go.

Dazzler and Longshot give control of Mojoworld over to Mojo II, warning him that if he turns out to be evil, they will stop him. Some of the X-Men mutter that they don’t trust him, but nothing else ever happens with him that I know of, and Mojo eventually just reclaims the throne.

Professor X reveals that Dazzler is pregnant, and Longshot makes a joke about naming the kid Shatterstar; for a while fans were convinced that Shatterstar must be their child, but a different origin was later created for the character.

Bonus—What Else Went Down: Maverick shoots a lot of bullets at Warhawk; the problem is that Warhawk has omnium skin, which is yet another indestructible metal in the Marvel Universe. Also, Maverick mentions that he misses his mutant power and brings up a woman named Isabel…important clues to his backstory at this point in his career.

Dr. Ryking explains that he is responsible for Warhawk’s powers. Maverick shoots Warhawk with what appears to be a bolt gun. The bolts penetrate the villain’s skin, and he explodes, killing Ryking in the process. Maverick walks away and thinks about how he hates his job and himself.

How It Was: There is still some media related humor to be had in this issue, but basically it’s just a big fight issue. It’s unfortunate because the story completely gives up on the somewhat clever Wizard of Oz parody and dissolves into a pointless hero vs. hero fight. Yes the title of the issue shows that the creators are making fun of this fact, but it still means a fight where you know exactly what to expect.

Also, this is an issue full of false starts and forgotten plot lines. Mojo II—forgotten and replaced by Mojo later. Longshot and Dazzler’s kid—drags on forever and ends up miscarried so the creators don’t have to mess with it. Mojo’s death—doesn’t stick, obviously. And I would still like to know where Longshot got that sword. Also, where the heck is Spiral? Wasn’t she in X-Men #5 building up to this story?

Looking at the back up strip: it’s complete crap. Maverick shoots Warhawk with a gun. It doesn’t work. Warhawk knocks Maverick away. Maverick shoots Warhawk with a different gun. Warhawk blows up. The end. The plot doesn’t even make sense on that simple level, but at least they got a proper inker for this issue. And the ending tries to make Maverick seem deep by having him act remorseful at the end, but that doesn’t work because in the beginning he was cracking jokes as he was killing people with a grenade and shooting at Warhawk.

Absolutely average, but a couple of the jokes (especially the Beast’s poetry quote at the end) saves it a little.

B-

X-Men #10

X-Men #10
Writing: Jim Lee and Scott Lobdell
Art: Jim Lee and Mark Texiera

What Went Down: Longshot awakens to find himself in a falling house. After it crashes, he walks outside to discover that he’s crushed a person and cannot remember who he is.

Cyclops, Rogue, Wolverine, and Beast emerge from some wreckage; it is at this point we learn that the X-Men are trapped in a parody of the Wizard of Oz. Cyclops=Scarecrow, except he has no confidence instead, Rogue=Tin Man, except she literally can’t feel because her hands are covered, and Wolverine=Lion, as in a total coward. Add in the Beast, who can only talk like Scooby Doo, as a fill in for Toto, and you just know this is going to be a wild ride.

Anyways, after meeting the X-Men, Longshot conveniently remembers everything. He tries to explain the situation to the X-Men, but they don’t get it, so they all decide to go off to see the Wizard.

Meanwhile, Mojo and more captive X-Men are watching the proceedings from his base. In case you don’t know, Mojo is a villain who lives in a dimension run by television where whoever has the best ratings is superior. The working class rebels are trying to end Mojo’s tyranny since they are forced to perform on these “shows” and most of them are quite dangerous. He reveals that his plan is to make the X-Men fight each other; everyone responds with self-aware jokes about how that always happens anyway.

The rest of the issue is made up of a flashback that reveals how the X-Men arrived in this predicament. Dazzler and one of Mojo’s spies go to the mansion to enlist the X-Men in helping to overthrow Mojo. The spy teleports the blue team to Mojoworld, weakening them in the process. Mojo’s forces, including a brainwashed Longshot, are able to completely subdue the Blue Team, and Dazzler seemingly gets killed and falls in the water.

After the flashback, we see that the remaining X-Men, plus Lila Cheney, are dressed as flying monkeys and attacking Longshot’s group. And finally, a mysterious character discovers Dazzler in a gutter and rescues her.

Bonus—What Else Went Down: This issue and the next include a seven page back up story starring Maverick, from issues 5-7. The story opens with a bunch of soldiers pointing guns at Maverick while he appears to be surrendering. To rectify this, he lobs a thermite grenade at them and reveals that he can seal himself in his armor.

It turns out that Maverick is hunting a man named Ryking—this is important for issues 12 and 13 although it is never made clear why. It also turns out that Maverick works for a guy named Barrington, which is the name Wolverine discovered on the computer in X-Men #8. Just as our hero is about to pull the trigger on his target, he is hit from behind. It turns out that Warhawk, an obscure X-Men villain who I’ll explain more about later, is protecting Ryking.

How It Was: Well Jim Lee and Scott Lobdell had fun with this one, didn’t they? While it’s kind of silly, the humor is self-aware enough to work; seeing Cyclops and Wolverine as complete opposites is worth a few giggles, as is the scene with everyone complaining about another X-Men versus X-Men fight. It’s a Mojo story, but it is one of the better done Mojo stories that I’ve read. As for Dazzler and Longshot, I’ve never gotten the appeal of the characters, but some fans go crazy for them, go figure. To each their own, I guess.

My only real complaint about the story is Longshot’s completely unnecessary amnesia that disappears within the first two pages. If I wanted to get picky, I’d complain about the character at the end, who later turns out to be Mojo II, but more on that later.

As for the back up strip, it’s pretty forgettable. It’s supposed to be setup for the next story arc, but that story never explains why this story is important, and then the whole thing gets forgotten. Maverick doesn’t really get any depth added to him; he is basically your average 90s hero with a machine gun and an ungodly amount of pouches drawn on his costume. And the inclusion of Warhawk, who hadn’t been seen in an X-Men story since Uncanny #110 back in 1978, is absolutely stupefying. Why anyone would want to read a story about Maverick fighting a bunch of nameless thugs and a D-list villain is beyond me. Also the coloring is really dark and muddy looking, and the inking is a little too thick for my taste; it almost looks like a coloring book.

A fun story brought down by a second, awful story.

B+

X-Men #9

X-Men #9
Writing: Jim Lee and Scott Lobdell
Art: Jim Lee and Art Thibert

Update: Click here for Part 2 and Part 4.


What Went Down: Once again, sorry I’m missing part two. This is part three of a four part crossover with Ghost Rider; I’ve never read the Ghost Rider issues, but presumably Ghost Rider randomly goes to New Orleans, encounters the Thieves and Assassins Guilds, and learns that they have been infected by the Brood before being infected himself. Also the X-Men are probably there to.  Update: After reading the issues in question, turns out I was right.  Am i good or am i good?

Anyways, the beginning of this issue starts with the Blue Squad plus Bella Donna (Gambit’s wife, or is it X-Wife—get it, ah ha ha) encountering Ghost Rider as he transforms into a half Brood/half Spirit of Vengeance. Yes, it’s Motivation for Pointless Super Hero vs. Super Hero Fight #56, the bad guy gains control over one of the parties involved.

Some Brood “slaymasters” also show up, and a very large battle ensues. Belle demonstrates some pretty impressive energy powers, which leads Gambit to question where she got them. Also, Jubilee freaks out and runs away because the Brood are supposed to be really scary, and Brood Ghost Rider is supposed to be even scarier.

The floor collapses. Afterwards Belle reveals she still has feelings for Gambit when she demonstrates concern for his wellbeing. Meanwhile, the reason you bought this comic in the 90’s—Wolverine and Ghost Rider fight for two whole pages. Ooooh. During the fight, Ghost Rider demonstrates signs that his human host, Dan Ketch, is fighting the Brood possession, so he runs away.

Elsewhere, Cyclops helps Psylocke out of some rubble, and Psylocke makes a pass at him. He responds as you’d expect; he acts incredibly uncomfortable and then pretends to ignore it.

Somehow Jubilee winds up alone, and ends up stumbling into a chamber where the aliens are holding members of the two guilds prisoner. Rogue finds her and both of them free the prisoners. They mention that the guilds’ children are being held in a different place. Then Ghost Rider shows up again.

All of the X-Men wander in to help fight Ghost Rider. Using her psi-blade, Psylocke manages to enter Ghost Rider’s mind. Surprisingly, Bella Donna goes in with her, although neither woman knows how. Together they fight the Brood essence controlling Ghost Rider, but Belle gets injured before killing it. Upon returning to the real world, Ghost Rider is back to normal, but Belle is dying. Gambit comforts her as she dies.

The comic ends with everyone striking a dynamic pose and explaining how they still have to save the captive children. Unfortunately, I don’t have Ghost Rider #27 either, so just assume that the kids get saved, and nothing monumental happens to the X-Men.  Update: click the link above.

How It Was: Well, it’s a big, dumb issue long fight scene; it’s not the best comic battle you’ll ever read, but it’s nice, light fun. The highlight of the issue is the dialogue by Scott Lobdell; he writes some exceptional funny banter, especially for the Beast and Jubilee. Moreover, he manages to convey some tragedy during the death of one-off character Bella Donna. The scene where Gambit tells her he would’ve chosen her is just perfect, as the panel cuts to both Rogue and Jubilee looking completely shocked and devastated.

The art is spectacular as always, although it’s never really clear where the fight is taking place. While it’s probably explained in the second part of the story, it would still be nice for the writer or artist to place a reminder or something. At first it looks like everyone is in a sewer, but then the floor gives out, and everybody falls into what still looks like a sewer. Furthermore, how do all the X-Men get separated when they all fall straight down through the floor?

My big problem with this issue is that it seems like an unnecessary crossover; the only reason this story exists is because the X-Men and Ghost Rider were both really popular characters at the time, and Marvel wanted to see if they could get some cross promotional action going. I guess I’ve just never really liked Ghost Rider as a character because he just comes off as a generic antihero with a really cool design, especially during the 90’s when comics were overflowing with antiheroes. Some people might say that I haven’t given the character a chance, and if I read the series regularly I’d discover how complex and interesting he is.

Here’s how I see it, when it comes to comic characters, there are certain defining stories that any fan could hand to an interested party to experience the best of what the book or character has to offer. This isn’t one of those stories, but the X-Men have a bunch of them, as do Batman, Spider-Man, etc. My point is that I don’t see a lot of people waving around any specific Ghost Rider story like X-Men fans might mention ‘The Dark Phoenix Saga’ or ‘Days of the Future Past’ or even possibly ‘Messiah Complex.’ Every story I have ever read with Ghost Rider in it, as well as the atrocious movie, has only reinforced my opinion that he was briefly popular in the 90’s because he’s visually interesting, not because there is any substance behind his character.

Man that was a heck of a tangent, but still relevant. Anywho, it’s a fight that is nice to look at, but doesn’t do anything to utilize Ghost Rider, other than to make him look even more bigger and over the top. But some nice X-character moments push this comic above mediocre.

B

X-Men #8

X-Men #8
Writing: Jim Lee and Scott Lobdell
Art: Jim Lee and Art Thibert

Quick Note: This is the start of a four part crossover, but I only have the X-Men parts. Sorry, but I’ll make it up to all of you when I review the X-cutioner’s Song, which I do own all of. The missing parts of these reviews take place in Ghost Rider #26-27 if you’re interested.

Update: Click here for Part 2.

What Went Down: We begin with Wolverine on the computer, looking for files about his past. It’s unclear whose files he’s looking at—if he were looking at Xavier’s files, surely the Professor would grant him permission, and he wouldn’t get so many “access denied” screens. Jubilee tries to talk to him, but he tells her to go away.

Bishop is getting a tour of the facilities from Storm, who still doesn’t trust him, and the Professor. When they encounter Forge, Bishop tells him that in the future he will be called Genesis; nothing ever comes of this. Forge alludes to the neglected relationship between Storm and himself, which will be brought up again over in Uncanny #289.

The Blue Team meets Bishop for the first time. He displays his characteristic hero worship, lets us know that Jubilee will be known as the last X-Man (also never goes anywhere), and informs Beast that in the future he is a well known philosopher.

When he gets to Gambit, Bishop recognizes him as Lebeau the Witness from his future; he automatically assumes that Gambit is the X-traitor alluded to in Uncanny #287. All of the X-Men ignore Bishop’s concerns, and then they all go off to have a picnic.

Wolverine somehow discovers a connection to the name Barrington. This gets resolved in a back up story in X-Men #10-11.

Next we have the beginning of a very unusual subplot where Psylocke attempts to seduce Cyclops, and Cyclops acts like a babbling idiot. To make matters worse, this begins right in front of his girlfriend Jean Grey while she is trying to discuss the possible effects of the Professor’s recent re-paralyzing, thus making her very jealous. Basically Scott ignores Jean because he is too busy staring at Betsy in her swimsuit.

Rogue apparently baked food especially for Gambit, so you know that they are getting serious. Bishop interrupts and gets in a fight with Gambit, as the cover indicates. The fight ends, I kid you not, when Gambit hits Rogue in the face with a pie, and both men start laughing so that Rogue will think they made up. After resolving that problem, a woman named Bella Donna shows up and announces that she is Gambit’s wife.

Back inside the mansion, all of the X-Men act very surprised. Gambit takes the opportunity to relay some of his past; Gambit was a thief and Belle was an assassin, he married Belle when they were young to bring the two clans together, he accidently killed her brother in a duel, and he was exiled. The Blue Team agrees to go with Gambit to help stop the infighting between the clans.

Ghost Rider shows up at the end of the issue and freaks out a traffic cop in New Orleans; this scene is very important because without it you can’t call this the first part of a crossover between the two books.

How It Was: In the span of one issue there is an awful lot going on here. We have the introduction of Bishop to the team, the revelation that Gambit might be the traitor, the revelation of Gambit’s real name, and the revelation of Gambit’s wife Belle and some of his past; it’s a heck of a lot to take in.

But that’s okay because the next issue is just a big, loud fight with the Ghost Rider, so I guess it all evens out. This issue works really well because everything going on revolves around the theme of trust. Bishop is trying to get the X-Men to trust him. In turn, Storm and Rogue try to convince him that Gambit should not be judged for actions he has not yet committed, when all of a sudden this icon from his past shows up to remind everyone how mysterious and dangerous Gambit is. Plus Belle adds some much needed drama and conflict to the Rogue/Gambit love train. There is some pretty funny dialogue in this issue that comes at Gambit’s expense.

It’s also nice to see Wolverine following up on exploring his past since it always comes back to haunt him and his friends; however, as I mentioned before it’s a little unclear exactly where he is looking for this information or what exactly he is searching for. The Cyclops/Psylocke plot continues for a while, but nothing really comes of it except for some awkward encounters; I guess there is some humor to be found in Scott’s awkward reactions.

As for the art, it has the leg up on Uncanny in that background art actually exists in it; nothing fancy, but most of the panels at least give some clues as to where the characters are. Of course, some of the trees look hastily drawn, but overall it’s a nice change of pace to see some bright outdoor scenes as opposed to the single color backdrop of past issues. Also, we get some nice designs of the X-Men in their swimwear.

This is an enjoyable issue with some really great character moments, and also some not so great ones. It’s also very important for Gambit fans. Enjoy it because the next three issues are pretty light on characterization.

B+

X-Men #7

X-Men #7
Writing: Jim Lee and Scott Lobdell
Art: Jim Lee and Art Thibert

What Went Down: The finale of the Omega Red Saga… sounds more epic than it actually is. In any case, Wolverine is once again strapped to the memory-restoring device.

Sabretooth is acting weird; he can’t stop repeating his last line of dialogue from issue #6. The Hand ninjas with him notice this, but choose to ignore it because Creed is just so intimidating.

Andrea of Fenris is pressuring Dr. Cornelius to turn up the juice on his machine even though it might kill Logan. Although hesitant, he still does, and we learn that Logan had “one more assignment” for Janice as she was dying.

Matsuo figures out where the c-synthesizer is and orders Cornelius to finish off Wolverine, but before he can, Psylocke attacks. She states that Wolverine’s near death last issue freed her from Matsuo’s control, which is weird since that occurred before she was under his thrall in the first place.

At the same time, Maverick breaks free, attacks the Hand guards, and finds the location of the X-Men. It is revealed that Sabretooth is actually under Psylocke’s control (in case you didn’t see that coming).

As Maverick arrives to free the X-Men, Psylocke gets knocked out, and Creed regains his freedom. Beast and Jubilee free themselves and take him out.

Wolverine breaks free and attacks Omega, and the rest of the Blue Team show up and a big fight proceeds. During the fight, some stored chemicals ignite, so the X-Men have to make a big dramatic escape before the building blows up, which they do.

Over in Mojoworld, Longshot’s rebellion didn’t go so well since most of his forces are dead in the street, and Mojo is holding Longshot’s beaten body. Dazzler thinks to herself that she needs to summon more X-Men.

Back in Germany, Wolverine tells the rest of the team he has one more job to do. Cyclops tells him if he needs help, he can always ask. It’s very touching.

Later, Matsuo has some of the Hand digging up Janice Hollenbeck’s grave to get the carbonadium synthesizer. Unfortunately for him, Wolverine has already dug up the body, hidden in its casket, and reburied himself somehow. He bursts out, kills the ninjas, and chops off Matsuo’s hand. Dr. Cornelius threatens Wolverine with a gun to his head, but Maverick shows up and pops the good doctor in the head instead. Wolverine gives the synthesizer to Maverick because he senses it belongs to him. The End.

How It Was: This story always feels longer than it actually is; it could easily lose an issue and not lose much. The main problem with this story is that a lot of the twists don’t feel like they were thought out ahead of time; they just don’t fit with the continuity of the story and feel added in at the last minute. When the book claims Psylocke overcame her conditioning when Wolverine almost died last issue, the reader knows it doesn’t make sense because Matsuo didn’t take control of her until after Wolverine almost died. As for the villains, Psylocke manages to take down half of Fenris and Omega Red by herself, which makes it all the more perplexing how the whole team had so much trouble with them. Also, Sabretooth doesn’t contribute a whole heck of a lot this issue except for getting controlled and beat up, and his sidekick Birdy has completely vanished.

On the other hand, the ending sequence at the graveyard is excellently done and provides great atmosphere with the rain and dark shading. Even though it’s only two pages it is a very effective, gritty, fast paced scene, which is helped a lot by the panel layout. As for the Mojoverse scene, it’s very disappointing that we don’t get to see the doomed assault on Mojo. Yes, we all knew it was going to fail so the X-Men could show up and fix it, but it still would have been nice to watch them try.

As I’ve stated before, it’s hard to get excited about this story because most of it gets forgotten after Jim Lee leaves in a few issues. Fenris disappear, Omega Red goes on to appear as a reoccurring villain just about any time the X-Men go to Russia (like in issue #18), and Matsuo forgets about the Upstarts and moves onto the Psylocke/Revanche storyline in issue 21. Even the carbondadium synthesizer gets completely forgotten about for almost 15 years, until Daniel Way brings it up again in Wolverine Origins #6-10, so don’t hold your breath waiting for the significance of that maguffin to show up in this blog.

C+

Next Week: Uncanny #281-283

X-Men #6

X-Men #6
Writing: Jim Lee and Scott Lobdell
Art: Jim Lee and Art Thibert

What Went Down: Hey, Scott Lobdell is writing the dialogue! Remember that name because in a couple of issues, he starts writing the X-books for a really, really long time.

On to the issue. Cyclops and Beast take out a number of Hand ninjas, even though they don’t look like ninjas right now, with flashy powers and one-liners. They are looking for Wolverine with Jubilee, when they are all attacked and captured by, you guessed it, Omega Red.

Over in another part of the building, Maverick is trying to resuscitate Wolverine who has inconveniently decided to try to die. Three things to point out: 1. Maverick is now speaking German, even though last issue he spoke only in English. Actually, he is speaking in English translated from German, but this is still important in telling us who he is working for. 2. It turns out that Wolverine did hit the ground after he jumped out of that window last issue, even though the art showed him just disappearing, with no splatter marks on the ground. 3. Maverick explains that the mystery canister from last issue was actually full of healing cells extracted from Wolverine’s body, but it broke when he did or did not hit the ground—hence the dying.

Back in another urine tinted flashback, the team gets cornered by Omega Red, who is colored yellow and red as opposed to yellow and black. Creed/future Sabretooth panics, kills Janice=the agent they were supposed to protect, and pushes everyone out the window where they fall a number of stories. Creed than figures out that they are all mutants since none of them died.

Cut to the Mojoverse, where Lila has unhelpfully teleported Longshot, The Dazzler, and herself right to Mojo’s base and can no longer teleport away. The heroes fight Mojo’s guards, run away, and are saved by a member of Longshot’s resistance. Later, Longshot and Dazzler spend a tender moment outside under the stars.

Back on Earth proper, Rogue, Gambit, and Psylocke are fighting more guys in red trench coats… I mean ninjas. Fenris shows up to take out Gambit with an energy blast, and Matsuo triggers a post-hypnotic suggestion in Psylocke that causes her to take down Rogue.

Psylocke’s attack on Rogue causes Wolverine to wake up—at this point in continuity, Psylocke and Wolverine share a psychic link similar to Cyclops and Jean Grey’s. I’m unfamiliar with the story this happens in, it was before my time as they say, but it doesn’t matter a whole lot because this psychic link is completely ignored after this story.

Anyways, Wolverine attacks Maverick, and Maverick realizes that Wolverine doesn’t remember who he is. Another flashback shows Wolverine flipping out on Creed and walking away from the group. In the present, Sabretooth, dressed like a pimp for some reason, and his assistant Birdy show up at the villains’ base and jam the cameras.

Once inside, Sabretooth taunts all of the shackled X-Men. Most importantly, Creed reveals that he already knows Gambit and alludes to having injured him before.

Maverick and Wolverine go down to the sewers where they are ambushed by Sabretooth, now dressed in his normal costume, and the hypnotically controlled Psylocke; the fight isn't shown, but the end result is both heroes being carried away unconscious.

Fenris and Matsuo toast the success of Sabretooth—Matsuo explains that until they find the location of the c-synthesizer, Omega Red still needs the life force of others to sustain him. He suggests killing one of the X-Men. DUN-DUH-DUNNN!

How It Was: It’s the standard “all the heroes get captured in the third act before escaping and defeating the villains in the fourth act” set up. The main plot thread is not exactly innovative, but the stuff in Mojoworld is a little more fun. The recurring gag of everybody calling Mojo a fat blob like he’s not there, as well as a well placed Terminator parody, show that Lee and Lobdell at least get the humor and absurdity that are necessary for a decent Mojo story.

As for the main thread, it starts to drag at this point. The introduction of Sabretooth adds yet another villain to the already crowded plot; he basically gets brought in because you can’t have a token “Wolverine’s past” story without him. At least he doesn’t constantly complain about the synthesizer like every other villain in this story. As for the stuff with Psylocke being controlled, it’s pretty iffy and gets even more questionable after next issue’s explanation. And Maverick’s recollections of the events of the previous issue bear little resemblance to what actually occurred, which is kind of disconcerting.

The art is as always good, but with a few questionable choices. The dull looking yellow filtered flashbacks return, but then the final flashback is dark blue and black and works a lot better. Also all of the villains have weird colored dust clouds following them: Omega Red has a green one, although it might just be his “death factor,” and Sabretooth has a brown cloud trailing him when he shows up in the sewer with Psylocke. Hmmm… a brown cloud in the sewer, what could that be? Actually, now that I mention it, the cover also has the weird cloud on it as well. Oh, and Matsuo’s face isn’t colored in on the second to last page. Way to drop the ball!

C

X-Men #5

X-Men #5
Writers: Jim Lee and John Byrne
Art: Jim Lee, Scott Williams, Art Thibert, Bob Wiacek, and Joe Rubinstein

What Went Down: Cerebro alerts Forge that the majority of the Blue squad has been captured. Forge complains that the computer’s voice is too emotionless, but that doesn’t really matter to the reader because this is a book. Cyclops enlists Colossus and Psylocke to help in the rescue. Betsy was in the pool, so she is wearing a bikini that is even more shameless than her normal costume. In fact, it’s made even more laughable by the fact that she tries to put a tiny jacket on to cover up.

Everyone, besides Wolverine, who was captured last issue is in the back of a fake ambulance. Gambit manages to get hold of a card and free everyone, but than the truck in front of them explodes. Colossus finds Wolverine’s mask which leads Cyclops to ponder if Wolverine even had his uniform with him (which he did last issue, but he wasn’t wearing his mask).

Cut to Omega Red beating the tar out of Wolverine outdoors in snowy Berlin while being observed by Matsuo, Fenris, and Dr. Cornelius from the Weapon X story. After being knocked out, Wolverine is strapped to a machine and flashes back to his covert operations days with Sabretooth and an unknown agent—back in the present, our villains reveal that they are after a maguffin called the carbonadium synthesizer, which Wolverine is supposed to know about. It's supposed to help Omega Red control his powers better or something.

All the X-Men meet to discuss the plan of action; the Gold Team is dressed up because they are about to go to the Hellfire Club in Uncanny #281, even though that comic came out four months prior. Psylocke vouches for Jubilee to go with the Blue Team, Banshee leaves to go after Moira, Xavier is seen looking at a file labeled Project Xavier which is foreshadowing a much later subplot, and Forge and the Professor begin the chess game that they are seen playing in Uncanny #282.

Maverick shows up in his first appearance; he is also looking for the c-synthesizer, and he is that other agent in the flashbacks. He stages a distraction allowing Wolverine to escape. Logan is seen running from Omega with a non-descript canister—the dialogue makes you think it is the c-synthesizer, but it’s not… honest. Wolvie escapes out a window and disappears; at the same time he is having more flashbacks of his team trying to extract an undercover agent named Janice.

The X-Men track Wolverine and infiltrate the building he was being held in. Meanwhile, Maverick takes Wolverine to a room in the building with a computer. He explains that the X-Men are probably going to die, and then Wolverine passes out.

The issue ends, oddly, with a scene in the Mojoverse. Dazzler has lost her memory and Lila Cheney is trying to help her remember the X-Men. Longshot bursts in and kisses Dazzler, Spiral bursts in and threatens everyone, and Lila teleports everyone away. This is set up for the upcoming story in X-Men #10-11.

How It Was: Lots for you if you are a fan of Wolverine. There is more on the connection between Omega Red and Wolverine, some flashbacks with everyone wearing weird visors on their heads, and the introduction of Maverick, who proves to be a very enduring character with his own ties to the Weapon X program. The scenes where Wolverine is conscious are easily the most interesting of the issue. The only problem is the canister that magically appears in Wolverines hands as he escapes, then disappears after Maverick rescues him, only to be conveniently explained away next issue.

As for the rest…well it’s all pretty much like I said last issue. All of the villains are boring, except Omega Red, and it’s hard to get excited since after this arc most of them just disappear or show up in different capacities which completely ignore this story. They all seem to be alluding to the Upstarts storyline in Uncanny, but none of them ever become a part of that team. Plus, all they’re really after is a standard maguffin to help Omega Red control his powers better, but he seems just fine in later stories without it.

As for the rest of the X-Men, there is some struggling to find something to do with them. The sequence with Cyclops and crew in the beginning is pretty unnecessary since the captured X-Men rescue themselves, and the writing struggles to either find something to do with all of these characters or fill up space. Forge complains about the computer’s voice, the X-Men sit down and explain how they are going to rescue Wolverine instead of just doing it; a lot of this comes off as space filler rather than necessary to the plot.

The art is great, except for the flashbacks. Jim Lee’s pencils are fine, but the costume designs for Team X are a mix between standard black ops soldiers and Robocop, and the art department decided that the flashbacks should be colored in what can only be described as urine yellow and black.

C+

X-Men #4

Real quick: this arc begins before the Upstarts story in Uncanny #281-283 and runs concurrently through it starting with the next issue, so I will be reviewing this story first. Also, Chris Claremont is out, so Jim Lee is doing the art and the plotting while John Byrne is responsible for the script. This leads to some discrepancies later.

X-Men #4
Writers: Jim Lee and John Byrne
Art: Jim Lee

What Went Down: The book opens with a weird cult ritual/medical experiment that ends in the deaths of a lot of Russians. The result is the birth of Omega Red. This is Omega’s first appearance and he is probably one of the most successful villains created in the 90s as far as not fading into obscurity by being absolutely horrible. Matsuo Tsuryaba greets him and offers him revenge on Wolverine.

The X-Men are playing basketball at the mansion; traditionally they would’ve been playing baseball, but starting with this issue basketball becomes the standby for a couple of years. Rogue accuses Gambit of cheating because they’re not using powers and his powers include, “natural agility.” This results in a fight.

Elsewhere at the mansion, Moira is having nightmares about her son, Proteus, and Magneto as a result of the previous issues. Oddly, Dr. MacTaggert is asleep during the middle of the day. At any rate, Professor X, Banshee, and Cyclops burst into her room because Xavier sensed her psychic distress, even though he wasn’t trying. Honest. Everyone once again reassures Moira that what happened in the last story arc wasn’t her fault, although Xavier has to help Banshee with his mental powers because Sean’s jaw is still broken from last issue.

Moira appears to be calming down until Rogue bursts in through the wall after being hit by an energy-charged basketball courtesy of Gambit. Moira runs off hysterically. Strangely, neither Cyclops nor Professor X are angry with the other X-Men for destroying a room in the mansion or traumatizing Moira.

In Berlin, Matsuo is shown meeting C-list villains Andrea and Andreas von Strucker, collectively known as Fenris; they are the children of Captain America villain and nazi scientist Baron von Strucker. The meeting is about Fenris’ desire to use Omega Red and their money to obtain immortality somehow.

Gambit once again tries to kiss Rogue and is rewarded by getting socked; he is still convinced Rogue’s power won’t hurt him. Sean is still trying to comfort Moira, but it is not going so well. She eventually decides to leave the mansion because… well, she just insists that she can’t stay.

Gambit and Rogue get ready to go on their first date, but Beast, Wolverine, and Jubilee decide that they are going with the couple to make sure Gambit behaves. Gambit tries to lose his chaperons, but all the X-Men are soon attacked and captured by the Hand and Omega Red. I don't know why, but the ninjas of the Hand are now wearing sunglasses and trench coats, and Wolverine is back in his old yellow and blue uniform. Moira’s taxi passes by, but she is too distraught to look out the window and notice her friends being hauled off.

How It Was: Well, for the first time in three decades Chris Claremont is completely unattached to a single X-Men project. Jim Lee had been credited as co-plotter for the previous arc and his first crack at solo plotter is pretty solid. Despite coming off as a mostly stereotypical evil communist Russian, Omega Red has managed to become a fairly popular villain since his first appearance; it’s hard to tell whether this is due to his eerie, corpse-like design, or the fact that his origin is tied to Wolverine’s. Visually, he has a lot going for him, although his “death factor” is a very contrived attempt to provide an evil equivalent to Wolverine’s healing factor. Having heroes get sick and fall over around him is kind of a lame way for them to get defeated, and later writers would usually ignore this power and have Red suck the life out of them with his tentacles.

The scenes with the X-Men playing ball are really solid. Jubilee provides some humorous moments; Gambit and Rogue demonstrate their dysfunctional/flirtatious relationship; and Wolverine gets to act grouchy and potentially violent. Unfortunately, the scenes with everyone else attempting to calm down Moira are a pretty painful attempt to get her out of the mansion on the part of the creators. The whole time she just cries and overreacts to everything Banshee and Xavier tell her. Plus, Moira justified why she wasn’t responsible for Magneto’s return to evil in the last issue, so the whole point should be moot. It’s even more difficult to get excited about this plot line because it will be completely dropped and forgotten in a couple of months when Moira returns to help treat the Legacy Virus. The scenes with Matsuo and Fenris are okay, but these ultimately lead nowhere also, as Fenris disappears after this arc.

The art is great. All of the X-Men look great in their sports and evening wear, the end battle with ninjas is dutifully flashy and action packed, and the opening sequences with Omega Red are suitably disturbing. And even though the poses during the basketball game are a little exaggerated, they still give off a nice sense of speed and movement. A great issue held back by plots that will go nowhere and a perplexing direction for Moira.

B+

X-Men #3

X-Men #3
Writer: Chris Claremont
Artist: Jim Lee

What Went Down: The X-Men’s Gold Team, plus Forge and Banshee, sneak aboard Asteroid M with the help of a transparent X-plane and the powers of Storm and Jean Grey. Fury and Dr. Val Cooper are still at the UN, trying to convince the Russian ambassador not to fire the giant laser at Magneto’s base. Magneto is busy taking his aggression out on Moira MacTaggert. Afterwards Cortez uses his power to recharge Magneto, and Moira notices that Magneto is growing more and more dependent on this.

Elsewhere, the X-Men and the Acolytes are bonding by the Asteroid M swimming pool; apparently before they defected, the X-Men remembered to pack their bathing suits. Gambit begins flirting with Rogue—he is convinced  that her touch won’t hurt him. We find out later that this assumption is wrong. Anyway, this starts the couple’s decades long roller coaster romance.

The Gold Team rescues the Professor, but the Blue Team and the Acolytes ambush them. Of particular note, Gambit shows off his skill with his staff by breaking Banshee’s jaw and deflecting Forge’s bullets back at him. Or are they lasers? In any case, Beast and Rogue snap out of the mind control first, followed by the rest of their teammates. Magneto shows up to turn the tide again; however, this time his powers give out in the middle of the fight, due to his dependency on Cortez’s powers. Wolverine frees Moira in time for her to give a load of clunky exposition about how the mind control doesn’t work because every time a mutant uses his powers, his mind comes closer to returning to its “natural state.” Also, she explains Cortez’s deceit to Magneto just as the traitor is ejecting in an escape pod.

Cortez uses a remote to fire the Russian laser at Asteroid M; he is a member of the Upstarts, but we won’t learn this for a while. Magneto uses his powers to disable the nukes he had acquired and keep his base together long enough for the X-Men to escape; the rest of the Acolytes choose to stay with him. Everyone reassures Moira that it wasn’t her fault, and the X-Men fly home from yet another adventure. Thus ends Chris Claremont’s fifteen year run on the X-Men, but he’ll be back in about a decade.

How It Was: The first half of the book is a little slow, with tons of dialogue weighing it down. The Gold Team has to recap everything up to this point in the story and explain their elaborate infiltration method, which involves Wonder Woman’s jet. Also, Magneto’s rant at Moira pretty much reiterates everything he said in the previous issue about his feelings towards her, but it does offer up another scene of foreshadowing Cortez’s sudden and inevitable betrayal. At least Magneto has the decency to seal Moira’s mouth shut with the metal suit she is wearing so that she stops moaning and crying about her guilt. Also, there’s an art/continuity mistake where Cortez is with Magneto one moment, and then down at the pool with the X-Men at “roughly that moment elsewhere,” (the comic’s choice of words, not mine).

The weakest aspect is probably Moira’s explanations near the end, which are drawn out and kind of silly. She claims that mutants have such “indomitable wills” because of the way their minds structure themselves around their powers. This runs contradictory to the fact that the X-Men get brainwashed on a pretty consistent basis in certain stories, and this idea has never been brought up again.

On the brighter side, the humble beginning of Rogue and Gambit’s relationship is nice and subtle, and the fight between the X-Men is flashy, if brief. On the positive end, Cyclops gets a nice jab at Jean about her flirtation with Wolverine before blasting her away. On the down side, I’m not sure Gambit should be able to deflect bullets with a stick. Dodge, yes; deflect, no.

But the true shining gem of this issue is once again the portrayal of Magneto. This issue really hits the nail on the head as far as his philosophy, his fears, and the effects his long, tragic history has had on him. While long, the monologue by Magneto reads like a last testament for the character, even though we all knew at the time that he would eventually return like he always does. I especially enjoy the part where he basically tells Xavier to capitalize on the time without his foe, and that he wishes the Professor’s dream could succeed, but he just cannot risk the consequences if it does not. It is the speech of a person who desires to be an idealist, but has just seen too much to have any hope. Great writing, and one of the best monologues by a super villain, adds up to a pretty solid end to Claremont’s career.

B+

Wow, my first story arc read and reviewed. It seems like only yesterday that I started this blog instead of a week ago. Anyway, tune in next week for X-men #4-7, followed by Uncanny X-Men #281-283.

X-Men #2

X-Men #2
Writer: Chris Claremont
Artist: Jim Lee

What Went Down: This issue starts off with Magneto telling the X-Men to back off and allow him to deal with his Acolytes personally. You can probably guess how that goes. Psylocke learns the hard way that she shouldn’t attack people up close when Fabian Cortez hands her a beat down; this is pretty impressive since Betsy is a trained ninja. We also learn Cortez’s power, which is to amplify a mutant’s power, and he uses it to give the telepathic Psylocke a really big headache.

While all this is occurring, Nick Fury and Val Cooper are meeting at the U.N. with a bunch of world leaders, debating whether to take preemptive measures against Magneto. A Genoshan soldier calls them and tells them to get off their duffs and do something.

An angry mob of humans attacks Psylocke, but the Beast saves her. If you continue to read this blog, you will note that the X-Men have a very long tradition of being attacked by angry mobs of people—probably more so than any other super hero team. Wolverine and Cyclops manage to get captured by Magneto off panel, and when the rest of the team tries to save them, the Acolyte Chrome freezes them in metal. Later Cortez tells Magneto that an anomaly was found in his DNA.

Over at the mansion, Xavier follows the hysterical Moira MacTaggert to the boathouse, outside of the secure facility. As Charles attempts to comfort her, Magneto shows up and lifts the boathouse into space. He then forces Moira to explain how she tried to cure an instability in his nervous system, that may be the reason he is evil, during the period of time he was transformed into a child by Alpha in Defenders #16. Magneto sees it for what it was, manipulation of his free will, and demands Moira use the procedure on the X-Men or he will kill them all.

On to Russia, where Matsuo Tsurayaba (owner of the worst name in super villain history) and a group of Russian Soldiers are taking advantage of the power outage over Russia to steal a coffin. This is foreshadowing for the next arc.

The Blue Team tells Professor X that they are joining Magneto of their own free will (even though they’re not).

And finally, the Gold Team is back at the Mansion running simulations in the Danger Room and trying to figure out how they are going to defeat the Blue Team, the Acolytes, and Magneto all at the same time. Nick Fury calls to tell them that Russia has enacted the Magneto Protocols, which consist of firing a nuclear laser into space and using it to shoot down Asteroid M.

How It Was: Well, the art is still wonderful, but there is less to praise this time around; parts of it feel very rushed and uneven. The fight at the beginning particularly suffers when, out of the blue, Cyclops and Wolverine are already restrained by Magneto. Then, when the others go to save them, one of the Acolytes abruptly ends the battle with his powers. Uhmm… why didn’t he just do that last issue? Also, there is now a second unknown female Acolyte appearing in the background of Asteroid M. Plus there is a strange sequence where a helicopter attacks Magneto, and he just uses his powers on the rockets it shoots at him—despite the fact that at the same time he announces that the weapons are made of plastics, so that he can’t use his powers on them.

I’m of two minds about the Magneto mind control plot. On the one hand, it is nice to see the heroes making questionable decisions, and it gives Magneto’s perspective about not being able to trust people more validity. And while Magneto is right to feel taken advantage of as a child, you can still see Moira’s justification in trying to prevent the boy from becoming a crazy murderer when he grows up.

On the other hand, we’re dealing with plot lines from the seventies; well over a decade and a half prior to this issue being written. It’s hard to imagine fans being familiar with that material at the time, let alone if they were to read these stories today. And it does feel like another attempt to undercut Magneto’s heroic deeds. Furthermore, the issue ends with mind controlled X-Men, which is a reoccurring theme in Claremont penned books; the previous story arc in Uncanny dealt with the Shadow King who had taken control of certain members of the team to fight the rest. Still, the art is fantastic, the cover is fantastic, and Magneto is still being written particularly well by Claremont for this story.

B-

Additional Random Note: Just take a look at that cover price. One Dollar… it is hard to believe I ever lived in such a glorious time.

X-Men #1

Welcome back, True Believers, to my very first summary/review/rant of the X. Remember, it’s 1991, and there are now two monthly X-Men titles running concurrently: Uncanny X-Men, which had been running for thirty years, and plain, old adjectiveless X-Men, which began with this issue. Normally Uncanny highlighted the exploits of Storm’s Gold Team, while X-Men featured Cyclops’ Blue Team, but after a year or two, everyone pretty much blended together. Anyway, please enjoy.

X-Men #1
Writer: Chris Claremont and Jim Lee
Art: Jim Lee and Scott Williams

What Went Down: This was a double sized issue, so this is gonna be a long description. It is the dawn of a new age for the X-Men, where it’s out with the old and in with the older as the original X-Men rejoin the team. But our story actually begins in space where a group of SHIELD agents (the ones in the green space suits) are pursuing a band of mutant fugitives (the ones in the yellow space suits) who have hijacked a space ship. Magneto interrupts, destroying all the ships, and taking everyone aboard his base, Asteroid M. The mutant fugitives convince Magneto to come out of retirement because his people need him. Meanwhile, officials in Russia are panicking because Magneto’s base is orbiting right above their country, and they are about to execute something called The Magneto Protocols (more on this next issue). This in turn concerns President George Bush and Nick Fury, who are worried that a war between Magneto and Russia might escalate. There is only one hope for the safety of the world.

Over at the newly rebuilt X-mansion, the X-Men are testing their base’s defenses… except later it turns out that everything took place in the confines of the holographic Danger Room, which is basically the equivalent of the Holodeck on Star Trek (Feel. So. Nerdy). Wolverine wins the exercise, waves his claws really close to Xavier, and gets in a fight with Cyclops over it, thus reestablishing that they really don’t like each other.

Nick Fury calls the X-Men and explains the conflict of the story to them. Everyone is conflicted because Magneto used to be an ally, but was also their greatest enemy. The team is split up and the Blue Squad is sent to intercept Magneto, who is stealing nuclear missiles from the Lenningrad, a Russian submarine he sank back in Uncanny #149.

The Blue Team attacks; Magneto is surprised by how aggressively his former teammates are fighting him. He flees, but not before detonating one of the missiles which destroys a bunch of Russian fighter planes, knocks out power in Russia, and knocks Rogue all of the way to Genosha, an island off the coast of Africa.

Upon returning to Asteroid M, Magneto expresses his frustration at fighting his former allies. Fabian Cortez, one of the mutants he saved earlier, uses his powers to heal Magneto, and then takes the rest of his group, now called the Acolytes, to Genosha to find Rogue… for some reason, probably revenge.

The Acolytes attack and kill Genoshan soldiers, and capture Rogue, until the rest of the Blue Team arrives and another fight ensues. Wolverine recognizes Cortez’s smell, but never brings it up again. Psylocke remarks about how strange it is that she chooses to fight up close rather than just using her telepathy to take out enemies. The fight is interrupted by Magneto, who acknowledges that his Acolytes were wrong to attack Genosha, but refuses to leave them to be persecuted by the local government. The issue ends with Moira MacTaggert throwing a hysterical fit and blaming herself for the entire conflict.

How It Was: A very good start to what would become Marvel’s number one franchise. Jim Lee’s pencils are quite enjoyable to look at, and the story is very fast paced and has some nice one-liners to add some levity. The nice thing is that even though a lot of things were getting swept under the rug in a hurry, such as Magneto’s turn as a hero, Claremont still takes the time to acknowledge the characters’ uneasiness about it. The great thing about Claremont’s Magneto is that he is not necessarily wrong in this instance. He just wants to procure the nukes as a means of deterring other world powers from threatening him. The X-Men on the other hand just want to prevent an international incident, but why is it wrong for Russia to feel threatened by him when Magneto already feels threatened by Russia? Also, all of the fight scenes are very bright and exciting. There is an especially good sequence where Magneto gets knocked inside the submarine, comes face to face with the remains of all the men he killed, and is overcome with guilt and memories of his own childhood in a concentration camp. Even though this is a hitting of the reset button for him, this is still a really great issue for Magneto.

On the negative side, a few details stick out. All of the Acolytes, other than Cortez, are really, really boring—so much so that they all die after this arc. There’s Delegado, who can grow, Chrome, who can turn people into other substances and fly, and… uh, some girl, who can… err… well she uses a gun. They’re all one-dimensional zealots, none of whom really stand out. On top of that, there is the needlessly complicated defection of SHIELD agent Harry Delgado to the ranks of the Acolytes. Wolverine brings up the fact that he’s not sure whether it is the same Delgado or just a mutant with the same name or he’s being brainwashed, but then it is never brought up again. And speaking of confusing, the opening team exercise doesn’t make a whole lot of sense; it appears that the X-Men are assaulting the mansion to “capture” Jean and the Professor, but if they are actually in the Danger Room, then what are the walls and sewers connected to, and how do they actually get to the control room?

And now a few minor character nitpicks. Some of the dialogue stands out as particularly dreadful, such as Wolverine exclaiming out loud, “We’re s’posed t’be working t’gether, as a team! But what the heck… man wants to play lonewolf, he can take the consequences.” Also, Psylocke acts like a complete moron by not taking advantage of her powers, and even realizes it herself. Being generous, this can be written off as an effect of her body transfer, although that story hadn’t been worked out yet. And Moira’s nervous breakdown borders on sexist caricature when she won’t stop crying despite every character explaining to her why she isn’t to blame. Women can be so emotional, I guess, but this portrayal is really at odds with the strong, brilliant, machine gun toting lassie that we’ve all grown to know and love. Oh, and it’s kind of weird that Professor X never really deals with the recrippling of his legs. Think about it, how many characters can say they’ve been crippled twice? Actually today it’s more like three times, with a fourth possibly on the way. In spite of all of this, it’s still a solid effort. The lack of interesting new villains is overshadowed by the dynamic portrayal of Magneto, and Claremont is able to demonstrate that he knows these characters inside and out.

B+