Pizza Hut Giveaway: X-Men #4

Pizza Hut Giveaway: X-Men #4
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Mike Harris

What Went Down: In view of the fact that all of the other X-Men have been the focus of an issue, this issue spotlights the final three: Bishop, Cyclops, and Jean Grey. Using some crazy machine, Bishop and Cyclops are planning to enter cyberspace to purge the virus from the computer. Jean is serving as a kind of anchor for them, which means that she doesn’t do anything in this issue except lay there and moan in pain the whole time. Cue another clunky description of the previous issues, and Cyclops and Bishop are ready to go.

In case you didn’t know, cyberspace is a yellow space with red lines where all the people are colored green. As Cyclops and Bishop explore the area, the terrain transforms into the head of the villain Arcade, leading us to believe that he is behind the Cerebro virus. In the physical realm, the computer Jean is strapped into starts to attack her. Wolverine wants to cut her loose, but Storm prevents him because if the connection is severed, it could kill all three X-Men.

Arcade creates “icons” of all the X-Men that are not in cyberspace out of the yellow and red lined environment. The evil X-Men attack Cyclops and Bishop. In a really lame scene, Bishop gets excited about finally having an opportunity to use his guns, but then he is attacked before he gets the chance to use them. Cyclops shoots a bunch of the icons with his optic blasts.

Arcade announces that even if they defeat the evil X-Men, Cyclops and Bishop will still have to face an endless stream of icons based on the X-Men’s other allies and villains. Cyclops and Bishop reveal that Bishop has been supercharged with energy from the battle with the evil X-Men icons, and he uses that energy to destroy Arcade and all of the other icons. Jean Grey is shown in the real world smiling because the villain of the story has been revealed, and it wasn’t really Arcade.

And now, for the twist ending of the X-Men/Pizza Hut promotional, the mystery villain was… Professor X! GASP! It turns out that there was no virus in Cerebro, and Xavier was using this lie as an opportunity to create situations that would test his X-Men’s abilities, since they do live in a school, and he is still a teacher. If you’re wondering where Sabretooth, Sauron, and Magneto came into this plan, well it just turns out that their appearances were unhappy coincidences that Xavier couldn’t possibly foresee. Instead of being angry that Xavier has wasted all of their time and put all their lives in jeopardy, the X-Men seem proud that they have passed the test. Then Jubilee suggests pizza, in a meta-fictional shout out to the entire purpose of the story. Profound.

How It Was: Well if you hadn’t guessed it from all the final panels that showed a Xavier shaped shadow monitoring the X-Men, this issue is something of an enormous let down. Not just for the ending, mind you, but for the entire issue in general. Where to begin?

Well cyberspace is probably the ugliest location that I’ve ever seen in a comic book. Even if you can ignore the hideous green and yellow color palette, there is still the basic fact that the X-Men are entering cyberspace; apparently Lobdell thought the best way to end his introduction for new readers was with a Tron homage. Also it is really disappointing that Jean Grey doesn’t get anything interesting to do for the entire story since the narrative is designed to show how each X-Man can be cool and likable. This issue is probably the heaviest on the exposition since the first issue; the X-Men have to explain cyberspace, Bishop essentially repeats his treatise on why Cerebro is so important, and Jubilee and Beast recap the previous issues in a totally forced manner. Add on the fact that the final fight is with evil, and ugly looking, X-Men clones, and the fact that the fight is resolved because the bad guy didn’t understand how Bishop’s powers work when he definitely should, and this entire plot comes off as bad.

But let’s look a little harder at the twist ending of Xavier being the mastermind, and why this reveal doesn’t work whatsoever. First we are to believe that Xavier would potentially kill his students all in the name of a training exercise. Now one might bring up the existence of the Danger Room to validate this story, but the Danger Room has safeguards built into it; it can be shut down when an X-Man gets injured and he or she can then be taken to the X-Men’s state of the art medical facilities. So I guess issue one is excusable since it takes place in the Danger Room, and issue four might also work since the fake cyberspace is basically a fabricated situation similar to the Danger Room. However, in issue two Xavier straps plastic explosives to the Blackbird in order to “test” Wolverine and Jubilee, which is pretty messed up.

The next problem with this twist is the fact that issue three doesn’t fit in with Xavier’s explanation that he was testing his students. Xavier claims that the appearance of the villains was a coincidence, but the only thing that Beast and Storm do in that issue is fight Magneto. Where was the test that they were supposed to be challenged with? Perhaps their plane was also strapped with explosives, but Xavier didn’t trigger them because it would have been a #*&$ move after they had just gone head to head with Magneto. Still, it just doesn’t work. And then there is the X-Men’s reaction to Xavier's manipulations. This is the kind of thing the X-Men used to get really pissed off at Xavier for in the sixties and seventies. Since they are all adults, and they all put their lives on the line on a regular basis, you would think that they might be able to muster a little outrage. Add in the random super villain attacks and Xavier’s test comes off as down right reckless. But I guess the story is for kids, so it’s kind of a waste of time putting too much thought into it because kids are stupid. Before any kids or parents get angry at me for saying that, remember that I got these comics when I was nine years old and I didn’t question the ending whatsoever at the time (well, maybe a little). But really, Pizza Hut met their goal of getting my parents to buy me four kids’ pizza meals, so I guess that’s all that really matters. A disappointing ending to a brief, mediocre, dumbed down story.

D+

Pizza Hut Giveaway: X-Men #3

Pizza Hut Giveaway: X-Men #3
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Jim Craig

What Went Down: This issue’s installment focuses on Beast and Storm, who have been sent to Muir Isle to retrieve antivirus software for Cerebro (remember, this is the early 90s, so you can’t just run to Best Buy to pick up some Norton). Moira MacTaggert greets them and gives the X-Men a tour of the complex. Unfortunately, someone has deactivated the Intruder Alert, but one would think that someone would see the screen warning about the deactivation and try to do something about it.

Back at the mansion, Jubilee and Gambit are cleaning up the hanger after it got wrecked in issue number two. This is the part of the story that clumsily recaps both previous issues.

Over on the Isle, Moira has disappeared for the rest of the issue, leaving Storm and Beast to wander the facility. They stumble upon Unuscione, one of the Acolytes who has been captured and is being rehabilitated at the center. They all take the time to debate Magneto and Xavier’s philosophies before Magneto bursts in to rescue her. Magneto flings Beast out of the way, but the X-Man discovers something off panel that will help him defeat the villain. Meanwhile Storm and Magneto trade blasts before Magneto uses his powers to trap Storm in a bubble of metal, causing her claustrophobia to act up.

Beast jumps in with an electro-magnetic disrupter (basically a magic defeat-Magneto gun) and attacks Magneto, freeing Storm in the process. With Magneto on the ropes, Unuscione convinces her master that she is not worth his sacrifice, and that he can rescue her another day. Magneto escapes, and the X-Men fly back to the mansion, once again wondering about the identity of their saboteur. The bald, but shadowed character once again ends the issue by monitoring the team on screens and saying something cryptic.

How It Was: As usual, a pretty mixed bag. Since it’s designed for kids, the writing is still a little shallow, but there are still some cool moments that a fan might appreciate. One of the big problems is that while the first two issues featured X-Men that have a significantly established relationship (Gambit and Rogue, Wolverine and Jubilee), this one just throws together Beast and Storm because the writer has to spotlight every member. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing; it’s just that there is no real chemistry between the characters. Also it is contrived that the Beast ends the issue by inventing a gun that stops Magneto, instead of coming up with a more creative way to defeat the villain. Probably the biggest problem with the story is that each issue is supposed to create an artificially made challenge for the heroes outside of the attacking villain. Since Magneto is the only threat in issue three, this completely contradicts the ending (which I will discuss more next post).

As for the good, the Magneto fight is much better than the Sauron/Sabretooth fight because the characters can actually use their powers without breaking any comics code rules about violence. Magneto is actually very well characterized and in a nice touch, the script acknowledges his tenure as a member of the X-Men. As I said before, this story would have to take place in the middle of Fatal Attractions to fit into continuity, which is highly unlikely, but it could be done. Oh, and once again the guest star (Moira) disappears from the story when the artist decides that he is sick of drawing her and the writer doesn’t feel like coming up with anything for her to do.

While the plot of this issue is nothing special, this is probably the nicest looking fight of the whole series. Craig manages to portray Storm and Magneto flinging impressive amounts of energy back and forth, and his depiction of Magneto escaping in his bubble is really neat with the reds and yellows contrasting. Basically this issue is a really cool fight scene with an abrupt and unnatural ending.

C+

Pizza Hut Giveaway: X-Men #2

Pizza Hut Giveaway: X-Men #2
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: John Herbert

What Went Down: Big action opening, in media res. Jubilee is trying to pilot the damaged Blackbird while Wolverine fights both Sabretooth and Sauron on top of the plane. As Jubilee struggles to get the radio to work, she flashes back to the beginning of the story, which she narrates from here on out.

After recapping the premise of the story, we see Jubilee being bored by an aerodynamics textbook while Wolverine pilots the Blackbird to the Savage Land so that the pair can retrieve vibranium to power Cerebro. Jubilee is startled by a pterodactyl flying beside the plane. Later, Wolverine introduces Jubilee to Ka-Zar, lord of the Savage Land, and his pet Saber-toothed tiger Zabu. Initially she is terrified of the cat, but later they are seen bonding. While the Vibranium is being loaded, two shadowy figures sneak onboard, one of them distinctively Sauron shaped.

Jubilee convinces Wolverine to let her be the pilot on the way home. All goes well until an explosion occurs in the back of the plane. Right after the explosion, Sabertoth and Sauron reveal themselves, but refuse to take credit for the explosions. Wolverine lunges at Sauron while Jubilee blinds Sabretooth with her fireworks; in his stupor, Sabertooth knocks Wolverine and Saruon out the side door.

Down at the mansion, Cyclops and Bishop wonder what is going on. Wolverine digs his claws into the plane and tells Jubilee to fire the retro exhaust, slowing the plane and knocking the villains off. Jubilee manages to crash the plane into the hanger, and everyone survives. The mysterious shadowy character continues to watch the X-Men on the monitors, as Wolverine asks who is responsible for the attack.

How It Was: Some nice improvements from the first issue. Since the story doesn’t have to be set up, there is more time to explore the relationship between the characters and the action sequence, although there is still an entire page explaining the plot of the story. Even though it contradicts continuity, it’s nice to see Jubilee’s reaction to the Savage Land, and her desperation and fear during the fight come off really well. Because Jubilee is the narrator, some of the exposition doesn’t come off as forced as it did last issue. And the appearance of two villains is pretty cool, even if it doesn’t lead to anything special.

As for the negative, well we have Wolverine fighting two of his most vicious enemies, and he’s not allowed to use his claws on them. The opening spread looks really silly with Wolverine swinging an unclawed fist at his enemies while leaving his clawed fist behind his back. The fight itself is anticlimactic due to the bad guys being beaten by a flip of a switch, yet there are two or three good panels of Wolverine lunging at Sauron. Ka-Zar’s cameo also seems unnecessary and too brief. In general, it just feels like a waste to introduce this interesting setting with the Savage Land, and then have all of the action occur outside of it. Herbert draws a lush, gorgeous Savage Land, but once again it feels like a wasted opportunity since nothing happens there. While still too brief and full of too much exposition this issue does manage to have some interesting, if unoriginal, moments and portray Jubilee as a likable and relatable character.

C+

Pizza Hut Giveaway: X-Men #1

Pizza Hut Giveaway: X-Men #1
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Andrew Wildman

Note: Because I need a break from crossovers, and a break from full-length, double-sized stories, I’m taking the time to chronicle the mini-epic that was the Pizza Hut X-Men Promotion. These stories are definitely not considered part of canon, even though they were written by current Uncanny X-Men writer of the time Scott Lobdell. If we were being generous, we could say that the story could take place between Uncanny #304 and X-Men #25 since Bishop is on the team, but the team is also aware that Magneto is alive. This isn’t particularly likely because 1. Jubilee is portrayed as never having been to the Savage Land when she has already been in Wolverine #70-71, and 2. It’s unlikely that Professor X would behave the way he does at the same time that he is worrying about Magneto. On the other hand, it might add an interesting layer to Xavier’s personality if he was this manipulative of his students. But I digress. Moving on to the actual story…

What Went Down: Cyclops and Wolverine initially appear to be in the middle of a savage battle, but actually they are both in the middle of a Danger Room session that is being observed by the rest of the team. Professor X interrupts the session with an ominous warning of a severe threat that is looming. When the X-Men gather in the war room, Xavier informs the group that their mutant-hunting computer Cerebro has been infected with a computer virus. The team is split into four groups, to coincide with the four issues of the story, to each complete a specific task that will lead to the repair of Cerebro, and the discovery of the mystery villain responsible for the sabotage.

Gambit and Rogue wind up with the first task, which involves removing holographic template technology from the Danger Room to use to fix Cerebro. As usual, Gambit flirts with Rogue, and Rogue responds by yelling at him. When the pair opens the panel in the Danger Room, they discover panels and wires that lead them to believe that the Danger Room has also been sabotaged. All of a sudden, the Danger Room’s holograms kick in, and the room is transformed into the Days of the Future Past alternate future, complete with Sentinels trying to kill our merry mutants. Rogue and Gambit have to retreat; Gambit appears to be injured, but really uses it as an excuse to touch Rogue’s lips, transferring his powers. When the Sentinels discover the pair, Rogue uses Gambit’s power to take them by surprise and blow them up. Gambit apologizes for tricking Rogue, but explains that he needed her reactions to be authentic in order to fool the Sentinels. As they go to meet their friends, an ominous shadowed character, who is responsible for the sabotage, watches the two X-Men on a monitor and vows that this is only the beginning.

How It Was: When looking at the quality of these comics, it’s important to remember that the target audience for these books was young children. Their sole reasons for existing are to sell pizza and convert kids to buying X-Men comics and watching the X-Men cartoon. Since another X-Men promotion soon followed at Pizza Hut, it’s safe to say that these comics succeeded in their task. But at the same time, I feel like it’s my duty to review them from my present perspective as a twenty-something year old male because the whole point of this blog is to recommend X-Men comics worth reading. Sadly these comics have no real narrative value to anybody over the age of twelve, despite the efforts of regular X-writer Scott Lobdell. Sure they make for neat collector’s items, but this story is far from engaging.

First the good: it is really nice to see Lobdell try to incorporate so many aspects of X-continuity into the issue. The Days of the Future Past is one of my favorite storylines ever, so it is nice to see it acknowledged in this book. As for the characters themselves, they all are pretty true to character, although they are probably closer to their portrayals in the cartoon than the comic books.

What keeps this simple story from working is the sheer amount of exposition that all of the characters utter in order to explain every single concept to potentially new readers. Sure it’s necessary for this promotion to work, but the way it is incorporated is so unnatural and dry that it’s hard to imagine what readers’ impressions of it might have been. Various members of the team take the time to explain the purpose of the Danger Room, Cerebro, the X-Men themselves, and their own powers to each other when this should already be common knowledge to every character in the room. There is even a forced scene where Beast projects images of the X-Men’s villains to highlight the number of people out to get the team. The pacing of the story would have been better served if these explanations were saved for narration boxes, or if the inside covers had some kind of index on them, as opposed to the poster that no true collector is going to rip out.

As for the main plot, it feels weak. The explanation that Cerebro is necessary for the X-Men to recruit new mutants doesn’t hold up very well, since new members rarely ever join; actually, the primary use of Cerebro has always been detecting villains so that the team can stop them. Also, Jean Grey uses her powers to flip a switch in the Danger Room that is literally right next to her—that just bothers me. Not only is this kind of silly, but also it’s the only significant thing Jean does in the entire story.

I’ve never heard of the artist before, but Wildman does a very nice job overall. For some reason he puts a lot of detail into the hair of characters that gives an interesting contrast to the traditional Marvel house style. His Sentinels are very menacing and the fight they have with Rogue and Gambit is nicely done, if brief. Overall, it’s not something that fans of the X-Men ever need to worry about finding since it doesn’t affect continuity in the slightest, nor does it bring anything new to the table.

C

Excalibur #71

Excalibur #71
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Ken Lashley, Darick Roberson, and Matthew Ryan

What Went Down: Part 6 of Fatal Attractions: This issue opens with Nightcrawler fighting the Acolyte Spoor on Muir Island. Since the X-Factor part of this crossover depicted Spoor as a prisoner, he has been transferred to the Muir Isle, but he escaped. Spoor’s powers affect people’s emotions, so Nightcrawler almost kills the mutant. Luckily Kitty Pryde pops in and phases Spoor so he doesn’t get his skull bashed in. Moira thanks Rachel, Kitty, and Nightcrawler for bringing Spoor back, and then Cyclops, Jean Grey, and Professor X show up for a visit.

Xavier reveals that he has a plan get Colossus to return to the X-Men; he believes that Peter is suffering from the effects of his injuries from the X-Cutioner in Uncanny X-Men Annual #17. He wants Kitty to trick Peter into coming to Muir Isle so the X-Men can capture him and fix the trauma. Kitty is initially appalled, but eventually she reluctantly agrees.

Kitty sends a message to Avalon. Colossus is convinced that Kitty would never betray him, so he gets permission from Exodus, the new leader of the Acolytes, to journey down to Earth. Exodus tells Amelia Voght to give him an hour before bringing him back. Kitty lashes out at Cyclops and the Professor for forcing the deception. Rachel identifies that Kitty is really just scared that Colossus’ condition won’t affect his decision.

Cable’s computer the Professor identifies a signal from Avalon. Cable says that he has unfinished business with the Acolytes, and thinks it might be a trap for Xavier. Back on Muir Isle, Cyclops and Nightcrawler prepare the device to cure Colossus. Nightcrawler explains the state of Excalibur and the fact that most of its members have either left or been lost. Cyclops comforts him by comparing Excalibur to the original X-Men and showing that change can be good.

Outside, Jean Grey reconciles with Rachel Summers after freaking out on her when they first met. Jean reveals that she and Scott might be getting married soon and having a child. Rachel calls Jean “Mom” for the first time.

Colossus teleports down from space and the X-Men subdue him. On the other side of the island, Cable is climbing up the rock face looking to hunt the Acolytes. Phoenix intercepts him, and reveals her real name. Cable and the Professor both appear to recognize the name Rachel Summers—this is because in the future Rachel founds the Askani, the group that raises Cable. Cable and Rachel fight—at one point Rachel’s body turns into Captain Britain’s—a subplot from the regular series, I’m sure.

Colossus is strapped into a machine that utilizes Cyclops’ optic blasts to burn a hole in his head, somehow repairing the damage. Nightcrawler decides to respond to an intruder alert. Rachel tricks Cable into thinking she’s weakened, and then blindsides him with her telepathy. Nightcrawler confronts the Acolytes Voght, Katu, and Unuscione, and does a fair job of holding them off. Back in the lab, the trauma to Peter is fixed and he is finally able to return to human form. Cyclops and Phoenix (Rachel) join Nightcrawler outside in fighting the Acolytes. The fight ends when Colossus shows up and decides that he still wishes to remain with the Acolytes. The Acolytes teleport away, and the remaining three members of Excalibur decide to stay on Muir Isle to assist Moira in her work.

How It Was: Like the X-Factor issue of the crossover, this issue doesn’t have a whole lot to do with the return of Magneto. However it features characters from the X-Men guest starring, it deals with an important plot point from the crossover, and it has a hologram on the cover, so it’s still part of the crossover. While the Fatal Attractions story really ends in Wolverine #75, this issue serves the dual purposes of following up on Colossus’ defection and trying to lure in new readers by presenting a new status quo that is perfect for jumping on. Sneaky.

The good first. Nightcrawler, Kitty, and Rachel have always been fan favorite X-Men characters, and I always thought that it was a shame that they were condemned for so long on the British X-Men. Excalibur fans might argue with me, but I still think that they belong on the actual X-Men. Besides, nobody read Excalibur for Kylun or Megann, they read it for the big three, if you will. But Lobdell does a great job of bringing their personalities to life, bearing in mind that for a lot of X-Men fans, this is the first time we’ve seen these characters in a while. Nightcrawler’s humor really shines through in his fight scenes. Kitty’s internal conflict and angst over Colossus and her struggles to be seen as an adult fit right into where straight X-Men fans saw her last, but there are still signs of character growth as well. And Phoenix’s sensitivity is used to make peace with Jean, and drop some more hints about Cable’s past. All in all, these are three really likable, relatable characters, and I’m sure this issue succeeded in selling a few more later on.

Now for the bad. Filling a double-sized issue of Excalibur can’t be easy, especially since most of the team is gone. First off, the central plot of fixing Colossus kind of makes sense, but this is something that really should have been done way before Illyana died. And while it was nice of the X-Men to fix Peter so he could return to human form, couldn’t Jean and the Professor read his mind and figure out that it was his decision to be an Acolyte? The major problem is the Cable/Rachel fight, since Cable has absolutely no reason to be there. There’s some grumbling about wanting to confront the Acolytes, but really there is no reason for Cable to show up other than to talk to Rachel and reveal some clues that she is his foster mother/sister from another time stream. Then he gets knocked out... the end. The Acolytes finally get another chance to be in the forefront, and they get completely trounced. I guess there is no better way to build up a villain team than to have them easily dispatched with no tension built whatsoever.

As for Excalibur’s new status quo, it’s not exactly mind-blowing or exciting. They’re moving from England to Scotland—whopee. Part of the reason Excalibur never really took off as a book was that it was never really clarified why there needed to be an international team of mutants; plus this meant that the team was far removed from the other teams and the rest of the Marvel Universe, which can be good or bad depending on how you look at it. And while Excalibur made it for another fifty-some issues, it was almost always the lowest selling of the X-books.

As far as being a finale to a major crossover, this story doesn’t really carry a lot of weight. As a whole, Fatal Attractions is one of the only crossovers I can think of that peaks in the middle and fizzles at the beginning and end; most major storylines save their biggest moment for the epic finale (see X-Cutioner’s Song, Onslaught, Messiah Complex, etc.). Overall the crossover works okay, but there are a lot of unnecessary issues attached; you could basically treat Uncanny X-Men #304-Wolverine #75 as the crossover in its entirety, with X-Force #25 acting as some kind of prelude. This crossover had its moments, almost none of them occur in this issue, and since nothing changes with Colossus, there’s really no need to dig this one up unless you’re a completist.

C-

Wolverine #75

Wolverine #75
Writing: Larry Hama
Art: Adam Kubert

What Went Down: Part 5 of Fatal Attractions: We begin already on the Blackbird, trying to make it back to Earth. Wolverine’s healing factor has been severely taxed from having the adamantium ripped out of his body, and the X-Men are trying to keep him from dying. Xavier and Jean go into his mind to try to repair the mental trauma of the event, and they are treated to a number of flashbacks of Wolverine’s past and villains. They also get a sneak peek of Wolverine’s experiences when he first received his adamantium in the Weapon X lab. Jean complains that they are violating Logan’s memories just like they were with Magneto’s.

Meanwhile, up in the cockpit, it turns out that the Blackbird isn’t really designed to be in space and lots of things are sparking and exploding on the console. The heat shield of the plane fails and everybody gets knocked around. Wolverine regains consciousness and forgoes morphine so that he can focus on healing better. At the mansion, Moira is giving instructions on how to save Wolverine while Jubilee looks very concerned behind her.

More instruments blow up—Quicksilver has to put in all of the commands manually at a very high speed. Wolverine makes Xavier promise to take care of Jubilee, while Jean tries to keep the Blackbird together in the atmosphere with her powers. The rest of the X-Men run in and question Moira. Cyclops has flashbacks to when Jean turned into Phoenix.

Xavier once again enters Wolverine’s mind to find a violent, savage red wasteland. Wolverine sees a light, and Xavier tries to prevent him from going in it. In the cockpit, it turns out that after surviving reentry into the atmosphere, the plane is heading straight for an electrical storm. In Wolverine’s mind, he sees Illyana as an angel. She pushes him away from the light. Jean struggles to keep the cabin closed, but she gets distracted when the plane is hit by lightning. Jean is stuck holding on to the edge of the hatch. As her grip slips, Wolverine regains consciousness, stands up, and saves her.

A couple of days pass, and the X-Men are training in the Danger Room. Wolverine decides that he has to prove that he deserves to be on the team by showing that he can still fight. So Wolverine gets to fight two robots. As the robots beat the tar out of him, Xavier insists that Wolverine must be the one to stop this. During the course of the fight, Logan pops his claws, and everyone discovers that the claws are now made out of bone. Also, Wolverine is bleeding pretty badly because his healing factor isn’t up to closing the wounds.

Later, Jubilee and Wolverine sit outside talking. Jubilee discusses her fears about her growing powers and excitement over her newfound sense of control from the last story arc. Wolverine comforts her, lights a cigar, and starts hacking uncontrollably, showing his weakened state. During the night, Logan leaves the X-Men and leaves a letter for Jubilee asking her to understand and telling her to stick with Xavier.

How It Was: Quite the mixed bag. The first half of the issue is fairly mediocre. Wolverine’s mental trauma is used as an excuse to rehash imagery of Wolverine flashbacks that every Wolverine fan is already familiar with. Wolverine is haunted by the Weapon X lab; he’s haunted by Sabretooth and Deathstrike. And the imagery from modern paintings (such as the fish and melted clock) really don’t belong at all; it’s like Hama asked Kubert to make the image surreal, and Kubert didn’t know what that meant, so he just borrowed images from a couple of surreal paintings. The second trip to Wolverine’s subconscious is a big improvement with a red and black palate and the black outlined enemies that Wolverine is facing. The scene really comes off as primal and animalistic—that is until a naked Illyana angel leads Logan towards and then away from the light.

As for the X-Men on the plane, is it really necessary for the flight home to turn into a comedy of errors? We’re to believe that the same team that owns a teleportation device can’t build a decent plane to go into space. What kind of super hero team is this? It might make a little more sense if the plane was attacked, but it wasn’t. It just starts falling apart. While this is meant to build tension, really it just becomes an exercise in melodrama and futility. When the team finally enters Earth’s atmosphere, they enter a lightning storm, and the moment is almost laughable. Furthermore, it really takes the spotlight away from the main focus, which is Wolverine and his well being. However, the scene does end with the awesome moment of Wolverine getting up in time to save Jean, despite being horribly injured.

The really interesting parts of the story begin after the team returns home. Here we get to explore how Wolverine has been affected by this trauma. In true Wolverine fashion, he refuses to be viewed as vulnerable and sets out to fight something to prove himself, leading to the discovery of the bone claws. Now initially the bone claws were a really neat story idea. They made Wolverine more vulnerable, less indestructible, and they gave him some much-needed adversity to overcome. The problem with the bone claws is that enemies can break them. At first it’s really shocking and dramatic, but the truth of the matter is that Wolverine, as an icon and a character, is pretty much defined by his claws. That’s the reason that everybody thinks he’s so cool. There are plenty of anti-heroes, numerous rough and tough heroes that are kind on the inside. There are even lots of near indestructible heroes. But there are very few characters with indestructible claws who fight ninjas and robots and super villains on a regular basis. This is the reason that none of the cartoons, non-canon comic books and prose books, or video games of the time tried to incorporate the bone claws. Wolverine’s claws are who he is; they’re what make him cool. Hence the adamantium claws are far superior.

But I digress. Hama does a great job of exploring the aftereffects of Wolverine’s loss. From the nice little moment he has with Jubilee, to the way he casually flicks away the cigar after hacking up a lung, it is apparent that Wolverine is a changed character. Of course this leads to him leaving the X-Men, which is a major deficit for the X-Men books, and leads to the attempted recruitment of Sabretooth down the line. Ignoring all of that, we’re left with an issue that is pretty weak and unengaging for the most part, but manages to pick up towards the end and allow for a subtle picture into the feelings and behaviors of the eponymous character.

C+

X-Men #25

X-Men #25
Writing: Fabian Nicieza
Art: Andy Kubert

What Went Down: Part 4 of Fatal Attractions: The U.N. votes to enact the Magneto Protocols, which involves using a series of satellites to surround the Earth in an energy field that prevents Magneto from using his powers within it. Magneto treats this act as a provocation and decides to teach the humans a lesson. Unfortunately for planet Earth, the satellites used in the field are made of metal, so Magneto is able to not only wreck them all with his powers, but he also uses them to create an EM blast that effectively turns off all of the electricity in the entire world. Nick Fury, Mr. Fantastic, the Thing, Sunfire, Nightcrawler, and Captain Britain (who is supposed to be trapped in Limbo) all appear in cameos to give a sense of gravity and show how this story is affecting the entire Marvel Universe.

Of course, the only place to not be stuck in permanent blackout is Xavier’s mansion, since they have Shi’ar technology integrated into their regular technology. Cyclops briefs the team on the situation and explains the worldwide blackout and the fact that millions of people are probably dead because of it. Xavier has taken the position that they are fighting for survival and must finish Magneto once and for all.

Later in the War Room, Beast, Jean, and Cyclops discuss whether the original non-lethal practices of the X-Men are outdated. Xavier walks in on them, sporting an exoskeleton that allows him to walk by using his mental powers. Xavier explains that the plan is to teleport a small team to Avalon and take out Magneto. Because he thinks it may be a suicide mission, Xavier refrains from bringing more of his original students with him. In the changing room, Rogue wonders whose side she will be on, but Gambit reassures her that she will make the right choice.

Xavier gives a rousing speech about the dream, and then the team proceeds to use a Shi’ar teleporter to teleport onto Avalon. It just so happens that Colossus is on security watch for the Acolytes, so he chooses not to alert the rest of the team to the presence of the X-Men.

As the team creeps through the station, they encounter Rusty and Skids. While Jean tries to reason with them, Xavier announces that they don’t have time and uses his powers to make them fall asleep. Then Quicksilver is given the task of uploading a disc into one of the base’s terminals, which tells the base’s computer to teleport the Acolytes off of the base. This leaves Magneto alone for them to deal with. Magneto discovers them and attacks first.

The plan goes that Jean and Xavier are to attack Magneto’s mind while the rest of the squad beats the crap out of him. The telepaths make him relive the horrors and failures of his life: his time in a Nazi concentration camp, the death of Douglas Ramsey, his wife and children abandoning him, and the betrayal of Fabian Cortez. Magneto decides he cannot allow his son to betray him, and is about to kill Quicksilver, when Wolverine jumps in. Unfortunately Jean breaks the connection because she cannot bear to torture Magneto. Wolverine injures Magneto, so in turn Magneto uses his powers to pull the adamantium from Wolverine’s bones. In a fit of rage, Professor X attacks Magneto and uses his powers to wipe the villain’s mind completely. Colossus appears and tells the X-Men that the teleporter is down, but he has sent word for Bishop to come in the Blackbird. Colossus decides to remain on Avalon and take care of Magneto while he is in his catatonic state because he feels guilty for allowing the X-Men to act unhindered. Jean does her best to stabilize Logan, and the squad leaves Peter to his charge.

How It Was: At the time, this was the issue everyone was talking about. Two unthinkable events in one issue: Wolverine loses his adamantium and Professor X uses his powers to destroy Magneto’s mind. The real question is, how has this comic aged?

Well let’s get the negative out of the way. The biggest criticism of this issue, as well as the most valid, is that the entire story is dependent on these deus ex machina style inventions that come out of nowhere. Apparently the X-Men happen to have a Star Trek teleportation device and a suit that can let Professor X walk just lying around, and these devices have never been used before or after this story. It would probably have made more sense if Forge had invented them and let the X-Men use them, or maybe if Nick Fury had let the team borrow them from a SHIELD armory. While it doesn’t ruin the issue, it is a fact that is difficult to reconcile with what we know about the X-Men. And while we’re on the subject of technology, whose idea was it to make a Magneto negating field out of metal satellites? Also, Captain Britain’s appearance is a continuity error; where was the editor on that one?

But the comic does have a lot going for it. There is a palpable sense of tension as Magneto leaves the entire world vulnerable to attack, and kills potentially millions in the process. This is a Magneto who is ready to end the conflict between man and mutant as quickly as possible, and it looks like he might have the upper hand. Also, the team Xavier picks to attack Avalon is pretty awesome. You have Jean and Xavier to attack him mentally, Rogue and Quicksilver because of their relationship towards him to throw him off guard, and Wolverine and Gambit because…well, because they are really popular characters. Honestly, I can’t think of why any great tactician would bring Wolverine to confront Magneto; we’ll call it a senior moment from Xavier. The final confrontation between Xavier and Magneto works really well and feels like a true culmination of all the encounters these two characters have had. It makes logical and emotional sense that Xavier would feel guilt for all of the people Magneto has killed since he has failed to stop Magneto time and time again. Magneto’s final words about underestimating his opponent punctuate the scene perfectly.

As for the loss of adamantium… well, it did happen. While it definitely felt like a stunt to make the crossover feel more epic, Marvel at least stuck to its guns and kept this as the status quo for a number of years. Still, it’s hard to get excited about this issue now, knowing that both Magneto and Wolverine’s adamantium eventually return, and this story has little to no impact on today’s X-Men. You just have to remind yourself that this did open up a number of legitimately good story ideas, and a couple of bad ones, for a character who was already pretty well defined (I’ll get more into my opinions of adamantium vs non-adamantium in the next review). Plus, the fight with Magneto is really good and it’s interesting to see Xavier attacking the villain’s insecurities while the rest of the team combats him with their powers; it’s just unfortunate that once again the Acolytes get pushed to the side so the writers don’t have to deal with them. Overall, this issue feels like a success since it does make long lasting, but not permanent, changes to the status quo and puts a decent cap on the Xavier/Magneto relationship, at least for the time.

B

Uncanny X-Men #306

Uncanny X-Men #306
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: John Romita Jr.

What Went Down: Archangel and Jean Grey decide to take some time off at Warren’s Colorado vacation house on the anniversary of the death of Candy Southern--Archangel’s girlfriend during the days of the original X-Factor. The two friends reminisce about growing up in the X-Men, comfort each other over the death of Candy, and then they are both shocked to discover Candy still alive in Warren’s house.

At the mansion, Xavier is training with Quicksilver in the Danger Room. Beast and Quicksilver are both concerned that Xavier is becoming obsessed over Magneto. In an anti-gravity challenge, the two combatants fight to a standstill. Xavier refuses help from Pietro, and Quicksilver warns him about being too proud to ask for help.

Back in Colorado, Archangel is understandably disturbed, and Jean confirms that whoever she is, this Candy has all of the old Candy’s memories. In downtown New York, Storm meets Forge at a fancy restaurant. Forge has invited her out to ask if they can still be friends, to which she agrees. The couple then proceeds to engage in one of those awkward dancing without music scenes that never comes off as cute as it’s meant to.

Jean decides to take Archangel and herself into Candy’s mind to witness her last memories in order to figure out just who she is. Apparently Candy was aware of being kidnapped by Cameron Hodge the whole time. The next thing she knew, she was under some sheets being resurrected by some shadowy characters. A trap in Candy’s mind stuns Jean and Warren long enough for the Phalanx infected Cameron Hodge to materialize. Hodge reveals that this Candy was created from parts of himself, so that when Archangel attacks Hodge, he hurts Candy. Candy refuses to once again be a pawn of Hodge, so she rips herself apart. Hodge explodes, and Candy’s mangled body lasts just long enough to thank Warren before expiring.

How It Was: Another Lobdell issue where the relationships shine. The interactions between Warren and Jean are pitch perfect for the entire issue, whether they are casually flirting with each other or comforting one another over various tragedies in their past. The back and forth between the two is just wonderful. Once again we also get a chance to see Xavier obsessing over Magneto; however, this particular scene doesn’t resonate as well since it contains a Danger Room exercise that has no real relation to anything that might actually occur in a confrontation with Magneto. The interactions between Archangel and Candy also manage to get some sadness and emotion out of the reader as well. It’s a nice little story that brings some closure to the relationship that never really existed in the original “death of Candy” story. Even though a fake, we discover that Candy’s feelings for Warren were strong enough for her to give her life for his. The only weakness character-wise would probably fall on the villain Hodge, since he has no real motivation for screwing with Warren other than just being a tosser.

John Romita returns after taking an issue off to work on the double sized issue #304. Some pages really shine, especially any page depicting techno-Cameron Hodge or Candy after her body starts to break down. Conversely, there are some spots that feel a little rushed, as if Romita was struggling to get back on schedule. Quicksilver particularly bears little resemblance to what he is actually supposed to look like, and many of the characters’ faces appear too heavily shaded at times. Plus the flashback of Candy’s death is depicted in some truly hideous neon colors. Still, I really like this issue because it is one of the few that manages to make Archangel both likable and interesting, a truly impressive feat.

B+

Uncanny X-Men #305

Uncanny X-Men #305
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Jan Duresma

What Went Down: Before I hear any complaints: no this isn’t a mistake and yes there is a storyline that takes place smack dab in the middle of the Fatal Attractions crossover. Today, Marvel probably would have labeled the issues in question as some kind of crossover fallout event, but the 90s were simpler times.

Anyways, mysterious soldiers that somewhat resemble Judge Dredd are camped outside of Opal Tanaka’s house, but they are ambushed by the X-Men. Rogue, Bishop, and Iceman defeat the soldiers, although two of them dissolve into pink slime. Opal is also quite angry with Iceman for being used as bait and at the very absurdity of her boyfriend’s life. She finally breaks up with Iceman, this time permanently.

In Washington, Storm and the Professor are attending a fancy party: among the guests are Senator Kelly and an ambassador by the name of St. Croix (no relation to Monet St. Croix, a character who will appear later in this title). The ambassador turns out to be a human member of Xavier’s Mutant Underground, a group dedicated to preserving mutantkind by keeping Xavier informed. Storm asks the ambassador why he puts his career and life on the line for mutants, and the Ambassador tells the story of his wife Lenore who was injured by a drunk driver, and was denied medical care because it triggered her mutation and scared away the paramedics, resulting in her death.

In the Blackbird, Iceman’s team is attempting to interrogate the surviving member of the soldiers. Rogue tries absorbing his memories, but the result causes her physical form to dissolve. The reason for this is that the soldier is an early form of the Phalanx, an alien race that is made up of techno-organic fibers. Outside the party, Xavier asks Storm to steal data on a power suit that is being tested to use against Magneto. Storm is hesitant to do so.

Bishop uses his powers to absorb some of Rogue’s powers so that she will regain her form. Back in D.C., Storm recalls encountering Xavier when she was a child. As she breaks into the facility, she questions whether or not Xavier might have used his powers to plant a hypnotic suggestion that compelled her to join the X-Men. Storm returns to Xavier with a disk containing the schematics of the suit, but she refuses to destroy it since the humans have every right to try to protect themselves. Storm leaves Xavier and tells him that she will never steal for him again.

How It Was: An odd little interlude that introduces us to the Phalanx (even though we don’t know what they’re called yet), ends Iceman’s go nowhere relationship with Opal, and introduces some potentially interesting revelations about the relationship between Storm and Professor X that are never mentioned again. The fight between the X-Men and the soldiers at the beginning of the issue is enjoyable enough, and I like the twist that the soldiers explode into goo and cause the X-Men to question each other’s techniques. Also the visual of Rogue absorbing the one soldier’s powers is very cool looking. Opal’s rationale for dumping Bobby is understandable, but not necessarily groundbreaking; it’s hard to be affected by this scene knowing that Iceman and Opal were hardly a couple at this point anyway, and the breakup doesn’t exactly affect Bobby long term.

Lobdell gets to show off his character skills with Storm and the Professor; St. Croix is an unremarkable character with a somewhat compelling back story. But what is really interesting to see is a Professor X who has become even more driven to stop Magneto after seeing a driven Magneto who is ready to finally end the conflict between humans and mutants. Storm’s recollections about her childhood seem convenient to the plot, but they do offer some potentially explosive revelations if they ever turn out to be true. Unfortunately the subject is never touched upon again, and the plot with the power suit is dealt with in a back up strip in X-Men Unlimited. A pretty average issue all told.

B

Uncanny X-Men #304

Uncanny X-Men #304
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: John Romita Jr. 

What Went Down: Part 3 of Fatal Attraction: The Acolytes begin the issue by trying to kill their defacto leader Fabian Cortez. The reason for this is that Exodus has come down from Avalon to tell the Acolytes that Magneto is alive and Cortez tried to kill him. Amelia Voght is about to suffocate him, but Exodus spares Cortez’s life and teleports the team away. As he leaves, Exodus mentions that Cortez will be the victim of someone else’s legacy; this seems like a pretty obvious foreshadow of Cortez getting the Legacy Virus, but he never does.

Over at X-Men HQ, it’s the day of Illyana Rasputin’s funeral and Xavier is depressed that he couldn’t saver her. His girlfriend Lilandra beams a holographic message to him saying that she shares his pain and that it wasn’t his fault. Xavier wheels himself to his study and brings up a screen that says “The Magneto Protocols.”

Up on Avalon, Magneto gives a monologue about how he wishes that he could save every human, but now admits that the world is doomed. He flashes back to the death of his first daughter Anya. When humans attacked him and caused him to drop his daughter’s body, Magneto went crazy and killed them all.

Meanwhile Kitty Pryde is scouring the kitchen for something to eat. When Kitty questions the purpose of being a mutant, Storm flies her into the sky to cheer her up. Unfortunately they find Colossus burning all of his paintings as he grieves. Kitty tries to comfort him, but he is still emotionless.

Apparently there is a chapel on Xavier’s property, so Bishop and Banshee are setting up for the funeral there. Bishop doesn’t understand the purpose of a memorial service, and Banshee comments that he must come from a very horrible future indeed. Bishop drops an allusion that Banshee was said to lead the next generation—an obvious foreshadowing of the upcoming series, Generation X.

All of the X-Men, X-Factor, X-Force, and Excalibur attend the funeral, making this the only real part where all of the teams crossover. After the service, Colossus confronts Professor X and blames his dream for failing him and his sister. Before the discussion can continue, Magneto and the Acolytes show up. Using his powers, Magneto is able to prevent every hero from moving as he offers the X-teams salvation on his base Avalon.

Quicksilver brings up the massacre of innocent humans in X-Factor #92. To set an example, Magneto kills the Acolyte Senyaka, even though he claims that he would have sanctioned the attack if he had been available. Magneto then proceeds to bring Avalon down over New York and right above the mansion; Xavier notes that the base contains Shi’ar weaponry that Magneto took while he was headmaster.

The whole time Magneto has been talking, Bishop’s powers have been passively absorbing his magnetic energy. Bishop lets it go, staggering Magneto and destroying the chapel. Cyclops and the other energy-wielding mutants decide to charge up Bishop with as much energy as possible, while Rogue tries to absorb Magneto’s powers. Bishop attacks with all of his stored energy, backed up by the rest of the X-Men. As Magneto takes damage, his base tries to break up, since he is apparently holding it together by his will; Jean struggles to hold it up.

Colossus prevents Bishop from finishing Magneto and offers to join the Acolytes. Magneto accepts, much to the shock of everybody else. Xavier takes control of Magneto and uses his powers to push Avalon back into space. The result leaves him exhausted and hanging onto Magneto in space. Xavier begins to fall, but Archangel eventually catches him.

How It Was: Finally, the X-Teams actually crossover during the crossover. And for the most part, I think Lobdell makes this issue work pretty well. We are treated to some nice character moments from Professor X, Kitty, Colossus, and Bishop that explore each X-Man’s reaction to Illyana’s death. While there is a little bit of flowery narration, it still manages to fit the tone of the issue and doesn’t stand out too much. Unfortunately, with so many characters in one issue, a lot of them feel needlessly forced into the action; most characters have one line or fewer. Plus, with the inclusion of so many characters, it makes the absence of other characters readily apparent; for instance, how come Rachel Summers, Psylocke, and Moira MacTaggert don’t appear at all?

Although the funeral is important to the plot of this issue, the central focus is once again the appearance of Magneto. This is a very controversial take on the villain that tends to split fans. Many see Magneto as acting crazy in this issue by crashing a funeral, bringing his Acolytes with him, and killing one of them in front of everybody. It doesn’t lend much credibility to his followers that they don’t think twice after seeing Senyaka gutted. But I think what Lobdell and Nicieza are trying so hard to convey is Magneto’s frustration with the whole back and forth with the X-Men. For years he’s tried to conquer the world in an attempt to bring safety to mutants, but finally he’s fed up and realizes that he can’t save everyone. At the same time Cortez has betrayed him and he needs to make a statement of strength for all of those who do follow him. Why didn’t he use Cortez instead? Errr… well Cortez is needed for the Avengers/X-Men crossover Bloodties that takes place after Fatal Attractions.

The whole basis of Magneto’s character is that he believes he has to subvert humanity before they subvert mutants—by any means necessary, and this issue marks his realization that he can’t save all mutants (tying in quite well thematically to X-Force’s rejection of him in X-Force #25). As for Colossus’ decision to join Magneto, I think it has been set up very well for the last couple of months. Some people read Peter joining Magneto after seeing Senyaka murdered as stupid, but if you look at the dark place the character is in at this point, he really doesn’t have a lot to live for. He’s looking to lash out at the world, and he really doesn’t care about what happens to himself. So while many will argue with the directions certain characters take in this issue, I think that their actions are perfectly justified on the part of the writers.

On the other hand, I am less than impressed with the fight this issue. The Acolytes are wheeled out to give the impression of a potential battle royale, but then Magneto just shoves them back on Avalon. Even with all of his power, I find it hard to believe that Magneto can single handedly beat all four X-Teams by himself, and the fact that the heroes’ whole strategy relies on supercharging Bishop feels kind of gimmicky, especially when you take into consideration that Magneto is holding Avalon in the air while holding back the X-Men.

I think this issue does a great job with Magneto; people argue that the characterization isn’t true to Magneto, but what Lobdell set out to do was portray a Magneto on the brink, finally willing to begin his war on humanity after so many battles with the X-Men. The back and forth between Xavier and Magneto at the end of the issue shows that these are still the same characters, they are just more committed to their opposing philosophies than ever before. It may be a stretch for some readers, but you have to take into consideration that in the last Magneto story he was basically ready to retire, but he got pulled back into the conflict and it almost cost him his life. That’s enough to make anyone up the stakes. Plus the Magneto flashback sets up the fact that Magneto is both dangerously unstable and that he is tortured by the fact that he cannot control his fate and the fates of those he cares about. The end result is a more dangerous, more unpredictable Magneto, and that has to lead to nothing but good things for readers.

B+

X-Force #25

X-Force #25
Writing: Fabian Nicieza
Art: Greg Capullo

What Went Down: Part 2 of Fatal Attractions: A mysterious shadowed character is looking through files of various X-characters and mentions an interest in X-Force. It’s Magneto, in case you were wondering. At Camp Verde, home base of X-Force, a different shadowy figure holding a large gun is observing the team’s return from a mission. Feral smells an intruder, so Cannonball orders the team to break off into twos and search for him. Each group gets taken down in a non-lethal manner before the intruder is subdued by Cannonball. And surprise, surprise: the mysterious character is Cable, returning to the team for the first time since the X-Cutioner’s Song. In case you were wondering, Cable was off having his own adventures in the future in his solo title.

Most everybody is excited to see that Cable is still alive; Feral informs us that Cable’s scent is different, so she was not able to identify him earlier. On the other hand, Rictor and Sunspot are decidedly not happy to see Cable. That is until he informs them that they are both wrong about Cable being responsible for the deaths of their respective fathers; Stryfe killed Rictor’s father, and Gideon the External killed Sunpot’s dad. Cannonball and Cable share a hug over the burden of leadership.

While half of the team hangs outside, the other half fills Cable in on what has occurred in his absence. One new development is that X-Force has saved their brainwashed friends Rusty and Skids from the Mutant Liberation Front; however, the two mutants must be kept unconscious so that they don’t attack their friends. Cable also reveals his real name, Nathan Dayspring, and part of his history to the group as a sign of faith. Their conversation is interrupted by an intruder alert.

Outside, Exodus emerges and takes out three of the four X-Force members outside. The rest of the team arrives, but they are also defeated. Exodus requests the presence of the New Mutants on the Acolytes’ new spacestation base Avalon. Cannonball agrees as long as all of the New Mutants, plus Rusty and Skids, are allowed to come. While this initially appears to be a betrayal on his part, Cable reveals that Sam planted a tracking device so that the rest of the team could follow.

Up on Avalon, Exodus gives a tour, and it is revealed that part of the station is composed of Cable’s old ship Graymalkin, and from technology gleaned from his computer, the Professor. A mystery man in a purple robe appears. Since Exodus bows before him, it is safe to assume that it is Magneto. Magneto then proceeds to cure Rusty and Skids’ brainwashing, giving them back their freedom.

On the X-Force ship, Cable feels conflicted about Greymalkin being used, since it represents the only item Cable has left from his time. Magneto invites the rest of X-Force to join him, and the rest of the team lands on the station. Cable’s group has a fight with Exodus before teleporting to Sam’s team. Cable wants to blow up Avalon, but Rusty and Skids want to stay because they feel grateful to Magneto. Cannonball convinces Cable that everyone has a right to make their own decisions, just as they did when they left Xavier’s. Cable agrees with him, but then he teleports everybody back to the ship. He runs to the computers and extracts the Professor from them; happily, the Professor’s personality is more or less intact. Before Cable can arm the station’s self-destruct, Magneto finds him and they fight. The fight ends with Magneto disintegrating the parts of Cable’s body that are contaminated with the techno-organic virus. Cable teleports away, and Magneto talks with Exodus about how Cable is the true winner since he won the loyalty of X-Force.

How It Was: A nice step up from the previous issue of the crossover since Magneto actually appears in it. Actually, Nicieza has found a nice balance of series story threads versus crossover story threads with this one. Cable’s return is great to see, and it feels like a natural fit for this crossover issue since Cable’s disappearance occurred at the end of the last crossover. Also Magneto’s return doesn’t overshadow Cable’s reunion as Nicieza gives plenty of space to Cable as he tries to reconnect with his team and reveal some newly discovered facts about his past to X-Force and X-Men readers. Magneto’s plot actually ties in thematically to Cable’s return as this issue focuses on both characters vying for control over X-Force and the subtle similarities and differences between their respective philosophies. Instead of side stepping continuity, Niceza uses this opportunity to remind readers that Magneto used to be in charge of the New Mutants, and this is his first time seeing them since then. Cannonball especially gets some nice scenes where he gets to stand up to both leaders and show his progress as a character and leader. Unfortunately, Rusty and Skids deprogramming does get lost in all the action happening, and their whole purpose for being on Avalon rings a little close to nothing but plot convenience. After all, why would Cannonball bring two mutants brainwashed to kill him as back up in an unknown situation.

So from a character standpoint, this issue hits a home run. As for the action, well…most of it feels a little forced at times. The introduction of Exodus is rather lackluster—he’s just your traditional one-dimensional Acolyte who worships the ground Magneto walks on and can’t be bothered with a personality for himself. He beats up all of X-Force by himself, so he is definitely established as powerful, but his rationale for initially attacking the team seems rather forced. The scenes in the beginning foreshadowing Cable’s return are much better, even if the identity of Cable is rather obvious to just about every reader. As for the climactic battle between Cable and Magneto, it’s nicely drawn, but when somebody attacks Magneto with guns, is there any question about the outcome? Side note: if Magneto dissolves Cable’s limbs that are infected with the techno-organic virus, shouldn’t they be gone for good? I don’t know since I never read the next issue, but Cable does get better in time to appear in Excalibur #75, the final part of this crossover.

On the art front, this is Greg Capullo’s last issue. All told, it’s a pretty good issue to end on as part of a major crossover, and one that sold particularly well. Everything is big and bright as it should be, and as mentioned before, Cable vs. Magneto is pretty awesome looking for the three pages that it lasts. You could probably ignore the X-Factor issue and start reading the crossover from this issue with nothing lost. The reintroduction of Magneto succeeds at bringing back all of the complexity of emotion that the character is known for as well as demonstrates how fierce and unpredictable he can be.

B+

X-Factor #92

X-Factor #92
Writing: Scott Lobdell and J.M. De Matteis
Art: Joe Quesada

What Went Down: Part 1 of Fatal Attractions: This issue opens with a nurse being interviewed by members of X-Factor about the Acolytes’ attack at a hospice that she worked at. Basically the Acolytes slaughtered everybody just for being human. Shortly after completing the interview, the nurse’s heart stops beating; X-Factor leaves as doctors file into the room to save her.

Unbeknownst to X-Factor, the Acolyte Scanner is using her power of astral projection to monitor the team. She reports to Fabian Cortez, who is insistent that he will soon have X-Factor member Quicksilver. He also abuses the girl when she questions the necessity of attacking harmless dying humans.

The rest of X-Factor meets up in a secure location where the Acolyte Spoor has been captured. The team wants to make him pay for the murders he’s committed, but their liaison Val Cooper stops them. Spoor acts defiant until Quicksilver walks in, after which the villain acts like he is in the presence of a god, since Quicksilver is the son of Magneto. Val decides to take Quicksilver and Random with her in case the Acolytes attack Project Wideawake, assuming that Quicksilver will have the same effect on the other Acolytes. The rest of the team decides to follow in a stealth craft powered by Polaris’ magnetic powers.

Along the way to the base, X-Factor glimpses Exodus in the villain’s first appearance; this is little more than a cameo, and we won’t learn his true purpose until the next issue of the crossover. At the military base, armed guards draw weapons on Val and company, but Quicksilver steals all of their guns. Inside, Random and Quicksilver discover that Project Wideawake is the codename for a new Sentinel project. The rest of X-Factor arrives just in time to be angry with Val. Surprisingly, Pietro sides with the humans, saying that the Acolytes justify the humans’ fear and caution.

Before the debate can get very far, the Acolytes do attack, and a fight ensues. Highlights include Multiple Man being forced to kill the Acolyte Mellencamp by creating a double inside of the villain, and Wolfsbane rescuing Senator Kelly. Fabian Cortez tries to convince Quicksilver to join them, but he refuses. Amelia Voght teleports all of the Acolytes away, and it is revealed that Val was being mind controlled by some green gunk in her stomach, explaining why she brought Quicksilver into a trap. Unfortunately for her, X-Factor is still angry that she hid the Sentinels’ existence from them prior to being controlled.

How It Was: This issue marks the beginning of Fatal Attractions, a very odd crossover where the issues involved don’t make up parts of a story; they just share a common story theme or villain. Apparently this was in response to some fans complaining about how much crossovers like the X-Cutioner’s Song set them back money-wise. The idea is that every issue in the series can be enjoyed independently of each other while still telling a fraction of the story of Magneto’s resurrection and attempt at domination. Of course, this meant that some of the issues only loosely connected to the other ones. And since the crossover is made up of six issues priced at $3.50, most fans ended up spending more money for half as many issues as the previous crossover. Oh well, at least the covers are cardstock and each contains a cool hologram on them. Those holograms are really fun to look at.

As for the story, this issue has probably the loosest association to the rest of the crossover. All that happens is that Cortez has the Acolytes attack sick people at a hospice because he is a jerk, and then X-Factor fights the Acolytes because… well the only reason I can think of is so that the other X-teams don’t feel the necessity to fight them later, and they don’t. The dialogue is still quite good despite the absence of series visionary Peter David. The comedic tone and emotional beats of the heroes feel just like David might have written them. Unfortunately, the Acolytes don’t fair as well, when all of their members either act like homicidal maniacs or idiots too stupid to question the tactical advantage of fighting dying hospital patients.

Overall, this issue just doesn’t contribute that much to the overall narrative of the crossover. The only moments to really take away from it are the brief appearance by Exodus, which gets fleshed out in X-Force #25, and the fact that Cortez identifies Quicksilver as the son of Magneto, which comes into play in the Bloodties crossover that takes place right after Fatal Attractions. So we have a bunch of plot elements that get resolved in other books. Like I said it’s missable, but the writing and art make this an enjoyable issue nonetheless.

B-

X-Men #24

X-Men #24
Writing: Fabian Niceza
Art: Andy Kubert

What Went Down: We open on Rogue and Gambit finally getting around to sharing a date. They are trying to enjoy themselves in spite of all the tragedy surrounding Illyana’s death and Psylocke’s personal problems.

Outside the X-Mansion, Banshee returns after leaving in issue number four to go after Moira MacTaggert. Since Moira had to return for the X-Cutioner’s Song and the Legacy Virus, it seems that he must have given up after a while. The two make up, but not much more comes out of their relationship, since Banshee is going to be busy teaching Generation X in a couple of months.

Xavier and Beast are inside looking at the data from Illyana’s illness. Xavier apologizes for not including Beast in the study sooner, and Beast concludes that even he can’t solve the mystery of the cure to the Legacy Virus.

Jean picks up Cyclops at the airport. She is hesitant at first, but after they embrace, they both promise to face their problems together.

Psylocke and Revanche are in the woods sparring; both women find that they are too evenly matched. Wolverine appears and tells them to get over their hatred of each other.

Kitty Pryde comforts Jubilee as she cries in Illyana’s bed with her doll. Kitty suggests she keep the doll to remember the little girl by.

Back on their date, Gambit tries to get a kiss, but is once again shut down. To compensate, Rogue offers to reveal her real name, but Gambit stops her, saying that names don’t mean anything.

In the mansion, everyone welcomes Cyclops and Banshee. Cyclops reiterates what he learned from Sinister last issue. At the dock, Wolverine comforts Jubilee, the Psylocke twins share another moment of accusing each other of being imposters again, and Cyclops and Jean go to bed after reaffirming that they both need each other.

How It Was: Another quiet, contemplative issue. Niceza shows that he’s no slouch in the emotional department either, while still furthering, or at least paying lip service, to some ongoing storylines. Jubilee is responding to Illyana’s death, the Betsys are still at each other, and Sean and Moira begin their relationship anew after breezing over her breakdown in issue number four. The most important facts are those on the Legacy Virus since this is going to be the focus of the X-books after the upcoming crossovers. That being said, nothing new is really learned as everyone just reiterates what they’ve learned about the virus thus far.

The main purpose of this issue is to finally resolve the Cyclops/Psylocke relationship, show that he is definitely choosing Jean, and explore the Gambit/Rogue relationship some more. This offers some interesting polarities to highlight as one relationship is based on comfort and familiarity, while the other is based on hesitance, danger, and excitement. Rogue’s teasing of her real name is kind of a disappointment for long time fans, but seeing Gambit evolve from pure seduction to a place of comfort and understanding in a natural way is well worth it. Or is Gambit just afraid of revelations since he is hiding things from Rogue and the X-Men? Ooo, so many potential glimpses into the character.

This is a well done issue, but at the same time it doesn’t really stand out all that much. Still, everyone feels true to character as well as down to earth, so it succeeds as a nice prelude to the big bombastic Fatal Attractions crossover next month.

B

Uncanny X-Men #303

Uncanny X-Men #303
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Richard Bennet

What Went Down: Jean Grey is looking to comfort Jubilee after the death of Illyana Rasputin. Jubilee retells her experiences in an attempt to appease Grey as well as try to understand her own feelings better.

In the flashback, Xavier and Moira struggle to cure Illyana while Jubilee plays with her. When Kitty Pryde shows up with fresh sheets, Jubilee shows signs of jealousy for the relationship the two girls share. In the present, Jean explains Illyana’s former life as a teenager to Jubilee, even though Iceman already explained this to her in X-Men #17. Although Illyana has no memories of being a teenager, Kitty has managed to stay in touch with her best friend all these years.

Back to the flashback, Jubilee comes to the Professor for a prognosis, but only discovers his frustration as he is running out of options. Jubilee goes back to Illyana’s room, and the three girls spend the afternoon getting to know each other.

As the Gold Team is returning from its mission last issue, Illyana’s symptoms flare up suddenly; she is about to die unless something is done. Xavier suggests using Shiar technology to freeze her until a cure can be found, but Kitty explains that Illyana wouldn’t want to live like that. While the adults talk, Jubilee puts the girl’s doll back in her arms and later reads to her before she passes away.

Jubilee then recounts the Gold Team’s reaction to the young girl’s death; Colossus completely shuts down emotionally. In the present, Jubilee finally breaks down and cries, and Jean comforts her.

How It Was: One of the very rare instances of a comic promising to be the best of the year and actually fulfilling that promise. Of course, the mandate is made a little easier by a year full of Upstarts stories, but this is still an exceptional comic.

Once again Lobdell demonstrates how relatable the X-Men can be by choosing Jubilee as the center of the story, as she is fairly unfamiliar with Illyana, yet nonetheless affected by her death. Because Illyana is an innocent little girl as opposed to a costumed combatant, the death really hits home on a level that pretty much anybody can appreciate, and the confusion Jubilee suffers at trying to understand the nature of this tragedy is brilliantly depicted. Also, having Jean Grey, the symbolic mother of the team, coming to console the girl works really well for this story.

There are really too many great character moments to explore; one standout moment would be Xavier’s breakdown in front of Jubilee. Even something as subtle as Iceman cutting off his own joke conveys the utmost sense of discomfort and tragedy. Plus the scene where Jubilee picks up Illyana’s doll is just perfect.

Minor pet peeves include the clunky exposition of Illyana’s history, but realistically it is necessary information for readers unfamiliar with the character, who hasn’t been an active super hero for a number of years now. Meanwhile guest artist Richard Bennet’s art is perfectly suited for this type of story. His characters are smooth and detailed—very closely resembling the style of the cartoon. The emotion displayed on characters’ faces is actually moving, yet there are some misfires—the first appearance of Kitty in this issue resembles the Joker a bit. Minor bits aside, the backgrounds are detailed and the characters are full of expression where it counts. The debate over whether to pull the plug works and manages to stay out of the realm of cliché. Despite the absurd looking helmet Xavier puts on the girl’s head, it still can’t take away from the tension of this issue.

This is easily one of the best character death issues ever. It contains gravity, it’s down to earth and accessible, and it actually manages to convey a sense of loss and make the reader feel something. Of course, like most great things in comics, it has recently been undone, leaving Illyana alive and well in the current issues of X-Men and New Mutants. However, recent events still can’t take away from how well this issue was done.

A

Uncanny X-Men #302

Uncanny X-Men #302
Writer: Scott Lobdell
Art: John Romita Jr.

What Went Down: Because the top of Eagle’s Aerie was blown up last issue, Storm is forced to use her powers to deflect the debris from bystanders. The problem is that she can only use the wind, and it is a very imprecise process. To many of the bystanders, it appears that Storm is causing the wreckage to fall as opposed to protecting them from it. At the same time, Bishop uses his powers to shoot through the wreckage at the top. He discovers a weird structure erected where Forge’s base should be.

At the mansion’s medical wing, Illyana’s condition is worsening, and Professor X is trying his hardest to help her. Illyana asks for her brother, but since Colossus is away on a mission, Xavier uses his powers to impersonate Colossus and comfort her.

Some debris strikes Storm, and an angry mob descends on her, blaming her for putting them in danger. A lone police officer with a shotgun gets the crowd’s attention, giving Storm a chance to collect herself. Inside the building, Bishop inspects the dome and finds Forge alive and in a horrible mood.

On the street, the crowd has decided that they can take on the police officer, but the rest of the Gold Team arrives to protect him. Iceman gets to make an ice web to catch the remaining debris, freeing Storm from her task.

As Bishop tries to get Mystique and Forge out of the building, Fitzroy attacks again. Unfortunately for him, Jean Grey pops his armor from the inside with her powers. Fitzroy manages to get a hold of Bishop and Forge, but before he can drain them Colossus tackles him and starts wailing on him. Peter comes close to killing the villain, due to his pent up rage over his sister’s health, but the rest of the Gold Team stops him. In a reversal of roles from his first appearance, Bishop ends up being the one to calm Colossus down.

Inside the X-mansion, Jubilee answers the door to find that Kitty Pryde has come to visit Illyana.

How It Was: It’s the conclusion of a big fight, and it’s not bad. Not great, but not bad. The fight with Fitzroy is essentially over, and he gets defeated twice this issue in summarily anticlimactic fashion. The real conflict comes from the mob outside, but the angry mob attacking the X-Men has been done many times before, most recently in Uncanny #300. In a nice change of pace, there is one representative human who is not an intolerant idiot, yet the rest of Texas gets portrayed as angry bumpkins. There are few nice character moments, such as the scene with Professor X and Illyana. Colossus’s breakdown comes off as somewhat hysterical and melodramatic, but in hindsight I think that it does a great job of setting up Colossus’ decisions in later issues. It’s also nice to see Bishop demonstrate his growth over the last couple of issues, but his argument isn’t very strong. He claims that the criminals he killed were okay because he was a law enforcement officer carrying out a sentence, but the problem is that Fitzroy belongs to that same group of criminals that he was killing. Another major flaw with the story involves the fact that Forge was supposed to do something incredibly important if he lived, and at the end of the story he doesn’t do anything.

The art has more sideways pages, which is something to dislike. Also, there is a panel where Forge is using a crutch in the wrong arm. Barring that, there are some great panels in this issue, like Jean shattering Fitzroy’s armor…no matter how lame that scene is. It’s another mediocre issue—it has action in it, but it’s rather uncompelling. The great news is that this is the last issue to have anything to do with the Upstarts. Of course, that’s probably also the reason that all of the Upstarts issues are so uninteresting. Still, this issue does lead into some interesting events over the course of the next couple of issues.

C

Uncanny X-Men #301

Uncanny X-Men #301
Writer: Scott Lobdell
Art: John Romita Jr.

What Went Down: Selene, the Black Queen of the Hellfire Club is being held captive by Trevor Fitzroy. Her body is being shredded and reformed by technology Fitzroy brought from the future. Fitzroy is using Selene’s suffering to gain the attention of the Gamemaster. Selene reveals that she is the one who formed the Upstarts in an attempt to forge the next generation of mutant leaders.

Gamemaster sets up a telepathic meeting with all of the Upstarts and introduces Siena Blaze to all the other members. This meeting is to decide the next high priority target of the Upstarts; since Fitzroy called the meeting, he gets first chance to attack. Gamemaster chooses Forge because his actions are about to affect every mutant on the planet unless he dies.

At the mansion, Colossus has a big dent in his head from the X-Cutioner’s weapon in this year’s annual. Because of the injury, he cannot return to human form. Peter is in the middle of comforting his sister Illyana, who is still sick, while Professor X and Moira observe him on a viewscreen. Moira wants to tell Colossus that his sister is infected with the same disease that killed Mastermind, but Xavier wants to wait until there is more evidence.

All the way in Dallas, Texas, we find Forge looking out a window and questioning why he didn’t alert the X-Men to Magneto’s potential return. Mystique interrupts him asking if he wants to work out; he agrees because Mystique has kept her deal to hold a single form for three days because she is still having identity problems after the death of her friend Destiny. Meanwhile, Storm and Bishop are enroute to Forge’s base, Eagle’s Aerie, to ask Forge for help in curing Illyana’s illness.

As Forge and Mystique exercise, an alarm goes off and Fitzroy bursts in. Forge uses weapons and traps in his base to hold Fitzroy off.

Back at the mansion, Iceman’s girlfriend Opal Tanaka has stopped by for a surprise visit. They are about to take the opportunity to discuss their relationship, but Archangel interrupts and tells Iceman that they have to go to Texas to help fight Fitzroy. Opal tells him that it is okay for him to go, but secretly feels jealous that Iceman prioritizes the X-Men over herself.

In Texas, Forge thinks that he has defeated Fitzroy, until the villain kicks off Forge’s mechanical leg and crushes his mechanical hand. The explosion of the hand distracts Fitzroy long enough for him to get away. Bishop appears and engages Fitzroy, but it is really Mystique in disguise, and she is injured in the attempt. Storm approaches the tower from the outside, but the top of the building suddenly explodes.

How It Was: This is another Upstarts story, so the same complaints of the other ones apply to this one. Thankfully, this is the last of the Upstarts stories to appear in the X-Men titles. It’s pretty average as far as X-Men stories go, but it does offer some nice set pieces for Forge and Fitzroy; poor Forge hasn’t had anything interesting to do since X-Men #3. Here he gets some cool one-liners and some solid action sequences where he gets to give and take some damage. Even the scenes with Mystique and Forge prior to the fight are really good as they explore Mystique’s new status quo as well as the potential romance between Forge and Mystique.

The rest of the issue is nowhere near as strong. Iceman and Opal’s relationship is still circling the tube. Colossus is still concerned about his sister, rightfully so, and complaining about villains who take him away from her. Plus the scenes with the Upstarts are all unnecessary exposition recapping everything the reader should know up to this point. The information that Selene founded the Upstarts is interesting, but once again nothing ever comes from this revelation. Although I will admit that the conversation between Storm and Bishop is pretty interesting, and subtlely reveals Storm’s own still conflicted feelings about Forge… and potentially Bishop; I just love how Bishop was unsure whether he and Storm were dating or not.

John Romita Jr.’s art is very good. Once again, my only complaint is the four pages that you have to turn the book sideways to read. This issue is entertaining enough, but overall it isn’t that memorable. Definitely a few good character beats in it, though.

B-