Uncanny X-Men #349

Uncanny X-Men #349

Writing: Scott Lobdell

Art: Chris Bachalo

What Went Down:  Maggott is up on top of the World Trade Center, reliving memories from people who have visited the monument.  Note that this is a power of Maggott’s that will never appear again.  Anyways, he finds the memory of Joseph kissing Rogue in the Christmas issue, and wonders why the moment was so significant for the girl. Out of nowhere we see the pink effect of Psylocke’s power.

Back in the underground Antarctic cave, Trish Tilby recaps the plot of the story up until now with internal monologue.  She finds that her boyfriend the Beast has been turned human by the technology in the cave.  Also, the attackers from last issue have vanished for no reason.

In the dungeon, Gambit sits brooding over his decision to sleep with Rogue.  He thinks that he doesn’t deserve happiness, and he’s also worried how she will feel when she finds out about his secret.  Rogue comes up to him hugging him and thanking him sincerely for the experience.  She tells him that she loves him; Gambit responds that she doesn’t even know him and runs off.

Below the WTC, despite seeing the effect of Psylocke’s powers, Maggott roams the street vendors unassaulted.  Then in the middle of a crowd, Psylocke just starts beating the heck out of Maggott.  When asked why, she just keeps repeating some vague nonsense about sensing a great darkness in him without any other justification.  Also it’s important to note that Psylocke has some new powers and personality quirks due to her exposure to the Crimson Dawn that were detailed in a mini-series with her and Archangel.  Maggott decides to fight back and turns blue while up in the sky Archangel watches the battle. 

Grovel tries to get Gambit to open up about his feelings.  Gambit wants to tell Rogue the truth about his past, but he is afraid of losing her.  On the other end of the cell, Spat tries to help Rogue remember what is bothering Gambit.  Joseph bursts through the door with a broken robot.  Gambit picks the locks on their chains, even though earlier he said he couldn’t, and the group begins their escape.

Back in New York, Maggott and Psylocke fight.  Psylocke uses her psychic blade on Maggott, but for some reason she can’t focus, and one of his slug’s tries to eat her.  Archangel swoops down in time to hit it away with a post.  Warren questions the wisdom of seeking out this threat when there are so many already, but Psylocke insists that there is “great darkness” in him. 

Nanny shows up to foil the escape plan at the South Pole, all while a mystery person watches on a monitor.  Nanny decides she is just going to kill everyone, but her head gets knocked off at the last second.  The Beast guessed that since Trish Tilby was human, Nanny wouldn’t recognize her as a threat, so he had Trish hit Nanny really hard with a crowbar.  The X-Men get their powers back, but Gambit decides to go with Spat and Grovel to accept the consequences for his mystery actions.  He still refuses to tell Rogue what is bothering him.

How It Was:  Well, I’ll be…finally some action in a super hero story.  Of course none of it occurs in the main ongoing plot thread involving the majority of the team.  Instead we get a fight with Maggott and Psylocke, which is probably a little hard to follow since the audience doesn’t know what Maggott’s powers are or why he is turning blue.  The fight itself is nicely done by Bachalo, but it’s a little anti-climactic to have Warren stop the slug with a post, especially after it ate an entire truck in a previous issue.  The main problem with this thread is that Psylocke comes off as a huge jerk jumping Maggott for no substantial reason.  She just keeps babbling about the darkness in him, but that describes like half the X-Men at any time.  Plus, like most 90’s X-Men threads, she completely forgets about it after this story concludes.

In fact the only thing that might be more anticlimactic would be to have Trish Tilby beat the villain in one hit after three issues of this storyline.  It’s not so much that I mind Trish delivering the final blow and showing that she can actually be useful.  It’s just that I’d like to see the heroes fight the army of cannon fodder robots for a couple of panels at least. 

Once again, the most interesting aspect of this story remains the complex and conflicting feelings Gambit continues to have over his past and his relationship with Rogue.  I like that Gambit and Rogue having sex makes Gambit feel more guilty, calling into question whether his motivations were to make Rogue feel better, or just to dodge her questions and make her feel more attached to him.  I still don’t like Spat and Grovel, but using them as sounding boards for the characters to express their feelings isn’t a terrible use for them.  Most important of all, after years and years of teasing, the X-staff is finally getting to Gambit’s big secret in the next issue.  Yes, most fans had already guessed the specifics at this point, but at least it was going to be over.  This story though was an unnecessary diversion from the final goal.  Yes the moments with Rogue and Gambit were important, but absolutely everything else in the last three issues can pretty much be forgotten.  Not Lobdell’s finest work, which is disappointing since this is his final story arc, but the Gambit/Rogue stuff was pretty well done, even if it could’ve all happened in one issue.

D

Uncanny X-Men #342

Uncanny X-Men #342
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down: The X-Men appear in a spaceship after being teleported from New York last issue. Gladiator obviously hasn’t planned this mission very well since the ship the X-Men materialize in is out of control, with questionable life support functions. Poor Beast has to figure out how to make the ship work, and eventually gets it to slow down. But once the ship finally compensates for passengers, the X-Men learn that they are heading right for an asteroid field. The X-Men have to choose between staying the course and reaching the star gate, or going around the asteroids and missing it. Joseph volunteers to move the asteroids with his powers, and oddly Gambit is the only one who backs him up on his choice. The X-Men make it to the gate and decide that they’re needed in Shi’ar space, so they take the ship through.

Back at the mansion, Cannonball tells the rest of the X-Men what happened to the X-Men in space. Wolverine is not very happy about it.

On the ship, Joseph thanks Gambit for supporting him, and Gambit alludes that untrustworthy people need to stick together. Beast tries to apologize to Trish for getting her caught up in this deadly mission, but in the long tradition of comic book reporter girlfriends (Lois Lane, Vicki Vale, April O’Neil, Roxanne Simpson, Melita Garner, etc.), Trish is excited for the opportunity to be along for the adventure, as long as she can get a scoop. Oh, and she manages to find some midriff-revealing space battle armor to wear.

In the mansion, Cyclops is attempting to contact the Shi’ar, but fails. Wolverine suggests following them into space, but Storm cautions that with the anti-mutant climate the way it is, the rest of the X-Men are probably needed on Earth.

Back in space, everybody else finds new space armor costumes. Why? Probably to sell action figures. Bishop is contemplating how out of place he feels. Even though he’s been with the X-Men for a while, he doesn’t really consider them true friends. Rogue gives him a pep talk about how it takes time to find a place with people, but the ship coming out of the stargate interrupts them. They come out in front of a devastated flotilla of war ships from the Shi’ar; the computer explains that they are no life signs on any of the ships, but the X-Men go to investigate anyways.

On one of the ships, Rogue and Beast realize that right now it’s Christmas on Earth. Also, someone stole the power core of the ship. Joseph finds that he can’t use his powers on the alien metals, while Gambit thinks about his own dark secrets. Even though the computer said there were no life signs, Bishop discovers a badly injured Deathbird who begs them to save the Shi’ar.

How It Was: Well, this story sure declined in quality fast. For many X-Men readers, adventures in space tend to frustrate them because it is really getting away from the themes of the book. Now I’m not one of those readers, I think some of the best X-Men stories have involved the Shi’ar and the Imperial Guard, but this isn’t one of them. The issue doesn’t even get off to a great start when the X-Men meet their first in a series of unnatural, completely forced conflicts. Why does Gladiator send the X-Men onto a ship that is about to kill them? I don’t know. Why are they going towards an asteroid field? I don’t know. There is no logic behind any of these events and it really hurts the credibility of the story and takes me completely out of it. Plus it’s just not interesting.

While Lobdell tries to take a quiet moment for his characters to reflect, even these bits feel more forced than usual. Bishop’s view of the X-Men as not his real friends seems pretty forced, especially after all the trouble Beast, Gambit, and Storm have been going to in the various X-Books. Yes, as a time traveler in the distant past, Bishop is entitled to feel out of place, but this really feels like Lobdell is ignoring some developments of the character so it feels more natural when he’s written out of the book in a couple of issues. Beast and Trish’s conversation is about what you’d expect, yet Gambit and Joseph’s relationship feels like it’s getting some complexity since you can’t really tell what Remy’s motivations are.

The new costumes are generic looking and completely unnecessary, but what are you going to do? Joe Mad’s art does provide some pretty amazing looking spaceships to see. But there are plenty of sci-fi comics to see spaceships in (heck, Marvel has its own cosmic line of books that are primarily about traveling through outer space). By itself, this feels like a dragged out episode, which doesn’t have any compelling conflicts to drive the story. Instead of spending an issue getting to the abandoned ships, there’s no real reason the issue couldn’t have started there instead. Very disappointing after the last issue.

D+

Uncanny X-Men #341

Uncanny X-Men #341
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira 

What Went Down: It’s Christmas Eve in New York, and the X-Men are out on the town. Beast invites his teammates to join him for dinner with his girlfriend Trish Tilby, but everyone has other plans: Joseph has a surprise for Rogue, Gambit is trying to avoid Joseph and Rogue, and Bishop just wants to spend a quiet evening alone. Cannonball wants to take up the offer, but he still has to do some last minute Christmas shopping for his siblings.

On his way to the toy store, Sam reflects on the events of the past year, but he is still able to muster some good old-fashioned Christmas cheer. Of course, when he reaches the store, it’s a madhouse and nothing he wants to buy is still available. Luckily for us readers, an alien pops out of a portal in the middle of the store and interrupts Sam’s shopping. The alien just happens to be Gladiator of the Shi’ar Imperial Guard, and he is searching for the X-Men.

At the same time, Joseph uses his powers to lift a horse and carriage through the air to create a romantic atmosphere for Rogue. The carriage driver thanks Joseph for the experience and talks about how he’s figured out that most mutants are decent people. In a little aside, the Marvel Universe version of Marvel editor Bob Harras is working late in the office, but he decides to go home and see his family upon witnessing the floating carriage.

Back in the city, Cannonball and Gladiator get into a fight because Sam assumes Gladiator is attacking him. Cannonball holds his own fairly well against an opponent that is supposed to be invincible.

On top of the World Trade Center (yes, this is pre-9/11), Joseph has moved the Z’nox chamber to the roof and modified it to block Rogue’s powers. Rogue is hesitant, but Joseph is able to use the machine and give her a kiss on the forehead.

Back at the fight, Gladiator prepares to throw Cannonball into the sun. Cannonball is able to use his blast shield to absorb the force of Gladiator’s attack. Then, right when Gladiator sees that Sam is fine and begins to doubt himself, Sam is able to knock him out. The other X-Men show up after seeing the fight from far away, and Gladiator begs for their help in rescuing the Shi’ar Empire after being forbidden to interfere by Lilandra. Gladiator uses some devices to teleport all the X-Men and Trish Tilby (but minus Cannonball) to a waiting space ship. Gladiator claims he can’t send Sam because it wouldn’t be honorable to send a youth into battle, and hopes the X-Men succeed for the sake of the universe.

How It Was: This issue feature one of my least favorite genre conventions in it: the fight between two characters with common interests who can’t find the time to stop and talk about the situation. Plus it’s a holiday issue, so there is a good chance that this could’ve turned out hokey. But Lobdell manages to squeeze out some really great moments to make this rise above the mediocrity that has been plaguing recent issues of the series.

First off, I have to say that this is the coolest Sam Guthrie has been since leaving X-Force. After disappearing for no reason in the middle of Onslaught, then being assigned to watch Graydon Creed only to do nothing as the candidate was assassinated, Cannonball has not had a lot to do recently. And even before that he was being portrayed as a bumbling novice who was overly intimidated by the X-Men. Here Cannonball gets to shine by taking on an adversary with the powers of Superman, and it is just great. Sure the motivating factors behind the fight are lacking since Gladiator really should’ve just explained his purpose instead of wasting his time trying to kill the person he needs help from. But it’s an impressive fight, and even though it has no purpose as far as the story is concerned, it does succeed in reminding readers of how cool Cannonball can be.

The other standout moments revolve around Rogue and Joseph. The visual of the carriage floating through the city over skyscrapers is pretty stunning in it of itself, although I could do with out the driver’s drawn out explanation about his principles. The part that works perfectly is of course, the kiss. Lobdell has always excelled in the area of characterization and relationships, and here he shows that he understands what romance truly is. Instead of going for the clichéd, over-the-top makeout scene that most creators would have gone for in the nineties, Lobdell has Joseph give Rogue a subtle kiss on the forehead. It’s an elegant, tender moment that demonstrates how to make people care about a relationship; it’s not about sex, it’s about compassion and gentleness, and Joe Mad renders Rogue’s reaction pitch perfect. It’s a genuinely great emotional moment, and probably the highlight of Joseph’s stint as an X-Man.

In fact, Madureira is firing on all cylinders with this issue, which is odd since it’s mostly a quiet, contemplative issue. From the skyline of New York, to the ice skater in the background of a snowy central park, Madureira just makes the issue feel like Christmas and captures the beauty and electricity of winter in the city. Even his scene in the toy store manages to capture the right tone while containing a wealth of movement and chaos.

The issue does have its head slapping moments. It is really contrived that Gladiator would just happen to show up in the toy store that Cannonball was shopping in, but I can let that one go. The real head-smacker occurs at the end, after Cannonball has wiped the floor with the invulnerable Gladiator, and then Gladiator sends all the X-Men against their will into space except for the guy that just beat. He makes up some dumb excuse about it being dishonorable to send a youth into battle, but the idiot Gladiator just sent the powerless Trish Tilby up with the X-Men to go on his suicide mission. It really makes absolutely no sense whatsoever after a whole issue building Sam up.

Still, this is the best Uncanny is going to be for a long while. Even though I’ve said it a million times before, I’ll say it again. This is where Lobdell’s strengths lie—in these quiet, contemplative issues that take the time to explore the heads of a couple of characters to see where they are at emotionally. It’s a lot of fun and actually handles emotion well without feeling corny or heavy-handed. This one is definitely worth a look, especially for Rogue and Cannonball fans.

A