X-Men #78

X-Men #78
Writing: Joe Kelly

Art: German Garcia

What Went Down: In New York, people are going insane as the massive psionic event takes place.  Shadow King now has the power to manipulate any mind he wants, and is doing so to create chaos and destruction.  Shadow King explains to the dying Psylocke that he was defeated way back Uncanny #280, but the rise of Onslaught gave him the chance to rise again without Xavier’s noticing.  After tricking Storm into bringing Psylocke, and tricking Psylocke into giving him power, he is prepared to rule the world.  Psylocke’s astral form shatters as Shadow King disappears. 

In another dreamscape, Marrow’s bones return, causing her immense pain.  Shadow King appears in his normal form, offering the three new recruits their hearts’ desires.  Cecilia can be a doctor, Maggott can be a hero who can control his powers, and Marrow can be normal. As this is going on, Psylocke reappears in her shadowy Crimson Dawn form; not even she understands how she survived.  After finding Ainet, Betsy wraps her in the same shadows; apparently these shadows can hide them from the Shadow King. 

As Shadow King messes with the minds of the United Nations, Psylocke and Ainet rescue Storm from her nightmare.  This involves Ainet bolstering Storm’s confidence so she doesn’t blame herself for what’s happened.  Psylocke has also come up with a plan to stop Shadow King.

Later, Psylocke appears to Shadow King.  Shadow King is amused that Betsy is still alive, and offers to make her his queen.  With the villain distracted, Storm and Ainet rescue the new X-Men from the influence they were under.  Marrow wanders off, and saves Cannonball by killing a violent illusion of his father. 

Psylocke sends the other X-Men away as Shadow King reaches out to every mind in the world.  While Shadow King overextends himself, Psylocke is able to attack his “nexus point,” an area that all telepaths must guard because it defines psionic essence.  Psylocke is able to contain the Shadow King, but he warns that if she ever uses her telepathy again, she will release him from this prison. 

Back in the village, the X-Men work to help the dehydrated villagers.  Cannonball thanks Marrow for saving him, and internally she reflects happiness that Sam likes her.  Psylocke explains to Storm that she has lost the use of her telepathy, and Storm reassures her that she will always be part of the X-Men. 

How it Was:  This is a little disappointing after last issue’s set up.  Yes I know I had problems with the set up of the conflict, but the conflict itself is pretty solid—Shadow King has control everyone’s mind and nobody can stop him.  It even works pretty well as an X-Men story since telepathy has pretty much been relegated to the X-Universe.  However problems abound in the fact that the X-Men are supposed to be fighting the Shadow King, and Kelly hasn’t found any creative ways for the team to combat a disembodied psychic entity.  None of the X-Men have anything to do, aside from Psylocke.  Theoretically Storm should have something to do with this story because it’s dealing with her back story, her home, and her main villain, but no; Psylocke does everything, and it’s pretty unsatisfying.

Kelly does get to have some fun here, mostly in the scenes with the villain driving ordinary citizens insane.  These scenes are pretty absurd; it’s more goofy than unsettling, but it adequately sets up the stakes.  It’s also nice to see the recruits coming together a little; I like how Cecilia comes to Marrow’s defense, even though they still “hate” each other.  And I like how Marrow comes to Cannonball’s aid, even if the specifics of how she does it are a little off.  Seeing these bonds just starting to form makes it all the more sad that the direction of the books is going to shift after another issue. 

As for Psylocke herself, well…this is probably the best Psylocke issue I’ve read on this blog, but that really isn’t saying a lot.  The shadowy effect for her does look really cool against the astral plane background, but once again we’re going back to the well of the mysterious Crimson Dawn fixing everything, so I can’t say I’m really interested.  As for her big sacrifice at the end, I can’t say I really care.  Psylocke’s never been a favorite character, and it’s clear she’s only here because the plot needs a teleporter and a telepath.  And while her guilt for causing this big event is nice to see, the end just doesn’t feel very emotional or satisfying.  Maybe it would’ve been more effective if Betsy had been in more than four issues since the Legion Quest story.

It’s too bad this story was so anticlimactic because the art is great, and in theory a lot of the characters should have some interesting reactions to being in Africa.  Instead we get an okay Psylocke story that ends with her finding the Shadow King’s magic defeat button at the end.  This has a lot of holes in it, but at least it doesn’t overstay its welcome like most events today.

C+

X-Men #77

X-Men #77
Writing: Joe Kelly

Art: German Garcia

What Went Down:  We open on a quick flashforward of Storm buried alive with the corpses of her teammates.  That’s a solid attention grabber.  The book then flashes back to Storm explaining the set up to the story.  A village elder named Ainet helped Storm in her past escape her life of thievery and develop her powers to help people.  She’s also a village priestess with magic powers, hence the talking sand statue from last issue.  Storm insists that this is her problem, but the other X-Men decide they want to help her.

Psylocke shows up randomly, along with her recently acquired plot convenient teleportation powers; Marrow also gets pulled along by Wolverine.  Psylocke allows the X-Men to travel to Africa.  When they come out the other side of the portal, Psylocke and Wolverine have been separated from the others, and they are being attacked by tribesman made out of sand with web patterns on their bodies.  Wolverine vanishes in the middle of the fight.

The rest of the X-Men discover Storm’s village.  Cannonball gets sucked in the ground, while the rest find that the villagers are all in catatonic trances.  Ainet appears, but she is under the influence of Anansi, the spider/trickster god. 

Meanwhile, Cannonball has found himself in a mine from his childhood in Kentucky.  Sam also finds the zombified corpse of his father waiting to kill him.  Back in the real world, Storm and the new recruits face Anansi.  Anansi knocks Maggott, Cecilia, and marrow into comas, causing Storm to attack him.  In another dream world, the group is shocked to find Marrow without any bones coming out of her.  Anansi appears to offer them their desires; he also shows that Wolverine has been devolved into a dog.

Psylocke catches up with Storm and attacks Anansi.  She tells Storm that Anansi is a high level telepath, and he is using his powers to control Ainet, and in turn the sand that she controls.  Anansi taunts Psylocke for her nature as second stringer and a haunted, broken character.  Betsy takes Storm to the astral plane to do battle with Anansi.  As Psylocke and Anansi battle, Ainet warns Storm that Anansi is not what he seems.  Storm starts to realize the plan and warn Psylocke, but Anansi banishes Storm as well.  Taunting Psylocke for her continual failures, Psylocke loses it and lashes out. 

At the last moment, Anansi disappears and is replaced by a cage.  For some reason, this act sets off a huge psychic backlash that destroys Psylocke’s astral form.  We are also told through exposition that the feedback of this chain reaction is unlike any other ever experienced, and it affects telepaths and intuitives all across the world.  The final page reveals that Anansi is actually the Shadow King, and this has all been part of his master plan. 

How It Was:  This is part one of an “event” called Psi-War that is meant to shake the foundations of the X-Men.  Right away I like it a heck of a lot more than most modern events because it’s only two issues long.  So it doesn’t drag out and it goes at a pretty decent pace.  Plus it’s got a relatively small cast, so it doesn’t feel too crowded.

That said, the mechanics of this story are a little wonky.  I think it’s pretty ambitious to create an event that effectively dampens telepaths.  After all when you think about it, telepaths are super powerful and can pretty much take out any hero or villain by thinking at them.  The problem comes in that I can’t really tell you how Shadow King brings about this psychic event that leaves him the uncontested ruler of the astral plane; it just sort of happens.  There is some vague explaining about Shadow King arranging synapses to focus and amplify power, but really the plot doesn’t make sense.  Shadow King gets Psylocke to stab something, and all psychics lose their powers while Shadow King can now control everyone’s mind.

Even more strange, Psylocke shows up for this story out of nowhere, and unlike Archangel, nobody is accusing her of ignoring the team and abandoning her responsibilities.  She just shows up like nothing is wrong and uses her plot-convenient powers to forward the story.  What’s really strange is that Shadow King’s plan has focused on Storm for the last couple of issues as the package has traveled to the mansion.  All of a sudden the plot shifts to focus on Psylocke, which couldn’t have been the initial plan since Psylocke isn’t even around that much.  This story has been promoted as a Storm story, but it’s really a Psylocke story that comes out of nowhere.  It just doesn’t seem like the plan makes a lot of sense.

All right, let’s push the plot nitpicking aside.  This book has some great visuals; the design for Anansi is superb, as is the scene with Storm buried alive.  And while it’s clear that nobody but Storm and Psylocke has a purpose in this story, there are one or two nice moments for the other characters, like Marrow’s reaction to life without her bones. 

This is a great idea for how to use continuity; having stories affect the Marvel Universe as a whole, without reader understanding being dependent on knowledge of the set up stories.  And while I like a lot of the visuals here, you can’t escape the fact that this is a Storm story that Psylocke has been shoe horned into, with absolutely no purpose for the rest of the X-Men.  It’s nice to see more classic villains wheeled out, but it’s just really odd to see so much emphasis on Psylocke after she’s been gone or in the background for so long.  

B-

Uncanny X-Men #350

Uncanny X-Men #350

Writing: Steve Seagle

Art: Joe Madureira and Andy Smith

What Went Down:  On his way to his trial, Gambit reminisces about meeting Sinister prior to his final job for the villain.  Gambit tells Sinister he’s done working for him, after assembling a group of villains.  Sinister insists he needs one last job and throws Gambit a tiny vial for his payment.  In present day Antarctica, Spat and Grovel are piloting a snowmobile to an unknown location.  The snowmobile is taken over by an unknown source and disappears.

Elsewhere, Beast is cobbling together a transport for the group to go after Gambit with.  Joseph explains that he has used his powers to reconfigure some of the robots’ clothes from the last story, but this might just be an excuse to cover up for the artist drawing the wrong costumes.

In Manhattan, Psylocke has knocked Maggott out and is examining him while Angel fights his two slugs.  Betsy begins to do her shadow teleport because part of Maggott is “missing” and something in him “attracts” her.  Warren and the slugs hurry into the portal to follow her.

In his cell, a mysterious voice chastises Gambit for his crimes.  Gambit assumes it is Sinister.  Meanwhile, the X-Men have pieced together a working transport.  The team pulls over when Joseph starts to feel ill.  Outside, Rogue finds one of Gambit’s playing cards, and Joseph raises a giant citadel from the snow. 

After a one page interlude where Xavier has a nightmare about different teams of X-Men asking where he is, the X-Men journey into the castle.  They split up to look for Gambit, even though Joseph is about to fall over from illness.

Coincidentally, Psylocke has also managed to teleport to the very same citadel; for some reason Angel and Maggott appear in different parts of the building.  Warren discovers a noose, and Maggott runs into Joseph.  Joseph recognizes Maggott, although he doesn’t know from where.  Then Joseph is knocked out by a mystery person, whom Maggott recognizes.  Beast, Trish, Psylocke, and Angel are all captured by the mystery person as well. 

Rogue finds Gambit in a cell.  She tries to convince him to leave, but he refuses.  A person dressed like Erik the Red appears with Spat and Grovel, and they take down Rogue. 

On a plane over Pennsylvania, the other team of X-Men is returning home from New Mexico after surviving Operation Zero Tolerance.  Jean is trying to help Cyclops, who has a bomb in his stomach.  Cannonball contemplates how out of place he feels among such close friends, and Jubilee warns him about thinking too hard.

Erik the Red and his robot assistant Ferris stand before the captured X-Men.  Angel is announced to be Gambit’s defender while the rest of the X-Men make up the jury.  Warren notes that Erik the Red isn’t a person, but a disguise that different characters have used over the years, like Cyclops and a Shi’ar agent.  Some the other X-Men wonder if it might be Joseph, but Erik drags the badly beaten Joseph out for them all to see. 

Gambit tells the first part of his story; he admits to working for Sinister and not telling the team.  Naturally the team is less than thrilled by this.  All of a sudden Psylocke recalls some memories of Gambit’s that she had gleamed from his mind waaaayy back in Uncanny X-Men #324, but conveniently forgotten about until this very moment.  She tells the X-Men that Gambit assembled Mr. Sinister’s Marauders right before the Morlock Massacre.  Archangel is angered by this because he lost his wings during that event.

Then Erik commands Rogue to kiss Gambit and reveal the rest of his secrets.  Rogue doesn’t want to, but she is forced.  Gambit showed the Marauders the way to the Morlock tunnels, not realizing that they were going to kill all the Morlocks.  Once he figured out their goal, Gambit tried to stop them, but he was wounded by Sabretooth.  Injured, he managed to save one Morlock child, who later turns out to be Marrow. 

After kissing Gambit, Rogue absorbs his powers and is able to free herself and the other X-Men.  They beat on Erik the Red until he retreats, collapsing the hideout in the process.  Rogue grabs Gambit while the other X-Men escape through Psylocke’s teleportation.  Gambit thinks that Rogue has decided to forgive him, but instead she is disgusted by what she has learned.  She decides to leave him stranded in Antarctica because she can’t stand to be around him.

In an escape craft, the robot Ferris attends to Erik the Red.  Erik removes his disguise, revealing himself to be Magneto, the Master of Magnetism. 

How It Was: Finally, we come to it.  Gambit’s big secret revealed.  Was it worth the wait?  Well, that’s hard to say, but at least it’s over and done.  There are quite a few surprises in this book, such as the real Magneto, but the execution leaves a little to be desired.

The fact is that there are some wonky plot mechanics going on here.  Psylocke’s weird teleporting power ends up sending her, Maggott, and Archangel to the citadel for absolutely no reason other than plot convenience.  Yes he was looking for Magneto, but he hadn’t found him yet.  Psylocke’s interest in Maggott is completely forgotten after this issue, so it reads especially strange here.  Psylocke sticks out again when testifying against Gambit.  How could she forget all of this information until this issue, twenth-six issues from the original mind scan?  It’s just such a convoluted way of getting to the point, and there had to have been a simpler way to tell this story, although Steve Seagle did okay with what he inherited.

On top of Psylocke’s strange plot contrived moments, the rest of the X-Men serve no purpose here.  This story could’ve easily been Joseph, Rogue, and Gambit and probably been a lot better for it.  Also, Magneto’s purpose here never plays into any larger stories at all; later he just makes a throwaway comment about how he was trying to sew dissention among the X-Men.  At least Spat and Grovel make their last appearance (as far as I know).

This issue still has some moments.  I like Erik the Red’s grandiose entrance, and I chuckled every time he repeated for the group to be silent. Plus Magneto’s robot is named Ferris (Get it, ferrous.  Ha!). The flashback with Gambit trying to stop the Marauders is a nice little moment, especially since Gambit’s been so moody for the last year or so of issues.

The big moment of the issue, what will make or break it for the reader, is your reaction to Gambit being left behind in Antarctica.  I’m conflicted.  On the one hand it works so well thematically with Rogue doing everything to convince Remy she can forgive him and ultimately not being able to.  Yes it’s a little contradictory since Rogue was a villain before and ruined her fair share of lives, but it’s easy to see why Rogue is upset and why she would feel utterly betrayed, given the circumstances of their recent bit of intimacy.  But then there is the fact that she just leaves him alone, shirtless even, in the middle of Antarctica, where he would surely die.  That’s a really steep punishment, especially coming from an X-Man because they don’t even kill their enemies.  I tend to lean more toward the camp that enjoys the scene.  It’s melodrama, but it builds on the (very few) good parts that have been in previous issues, and it opens up some interesting story potential for Rogue.  Yes, it’s strange that she tries to kill him by stranding him, but that gets written away later, you’ll see.

Joe Mad turns in his last regular art duties, and unfortunately he was unable to finish the whole book.  Yes, it is a double page anniversary issue, but it’s still disappointing.  Paul Smith’s filler is perfectly fine, but it doesn’t match Madureira’s style whatsoever.  Plus, for a double-sized issue, not a lot happens until the very end.  There’s almost no action, and most of the exposition is recapping all the events up until now for potential new readers.  Yes this story is drawn out, and most of the threads are never picked up again, but I once again find myself enjoying the Gambit and Rogue emotional roller coaster.  It’s just too bad more didn’t come from the events of this issue. 

C+

Uncanny X-Men #349

Uncanny X-Men #349

Writing: Scott Lobdell

Art: Chris Bachalo

What Went Down:  Maggott is up on top of the World Trade Center, reliving memories from people who have visited the monument.  Note that this is a power of Maggott’s that will never appear again.  Anyways, he finds the memory of Joseph kissing Rogue in the Christmas issue, and wonders why the moment was so significant for the girl. Out of nowhere we see the pink effect of Psylocke’s power.

Back in the underground Antarctic cave, Trish Tilby recaps the plot of the story up until now with internal monologue.  She finds that her boyfriend the Beast has been turned human by the technology in the cave.  Also, the attackers from last issue have vanished for no reason.

In the dungeon, Gambit sits brooding over his decision to sleep with Rogue.  He thinks that he doesn’t deserve happiness, and he’s also worried how she will feel when she finds out about his secret.  Rogue comes up to him hugging him and thanking him sincerely for the experience.  She tells him that she loves him; Gambit responds that she doesn’t even know him and runs off.

Below the WTC, despite seeing the effect of Psylocke’s powers, Maggott roams the street vendors unassaulted.  Then in the middle of a crowd, Psylocke just starts beating the heck out of Maggott.  When asked why, she just keeps repeating some vague nonsense about sensing a great darkness in him without any other justification.  Also it’s important to note that Psylocke has some new powers and personality quirks due to her exposure to the Crimson Dawn that were detailed in a mini-series with her and Archangel.  Maggott decides to fight back and turns blue while up in the sky Archangel watches the battle. 

Grovel tries to get Gambit to open up about his feelings.  Gambit wants to tell Rogue the truth about his past, but he is afraid of losing her.  On the other end of the cell, Spat tries to help Rogue remember what is bothering Gambit.  Joseph bursts through the door with a broken robot.  Gambit picks the locks on their chains, even though earlier he said he couldn’t, and the group begins their escape.

Back in New York, Maggott and Psylocke fight.  Psylocke uses her psychic blade on Maggott, but for some reason she can’t focus, and one of his slug’s tries to eat her.  Archangel swoops down in time to hit it away with a post.  Warren questions the wisdom of seeking out this threat when there are so many already, but Psylocke insists that there is “great darkness” in him. 

Nanny shows up to foil the escape plan at the South Pole, all while a mystery person watches on a monitor.  Nanny decides she is just going to kill everyone, but her head gets knocked off at the last second.  The Beast guessed that since Trish Tilby was human, Nanny wouldn’t recognize her as a threat, so he had Trish hit Nanny really hard with a crowbar.  The X-Men get their powers back, but Gambit decides to go with Spat and Grovel to accept the consequences for his mystery actions.  He still refuses to tell Rogue what is bothering him.

How It Was:  Well, I’ll be…finally some action in a super hero story.  Of course none of it occurs in the main ongoing plot thread involving the majority of the team.  Instead we get a fight with Maggott and Psylocke, which is probably a little hard to follow since the audience doesn’t know what Maggott’s powers are or why he is turning blue.  The fight itself is nicely done by Bachalo, but it’s a little anti-climactic to have Warren stop the slug with a post, especially after it ate an entire truck in a previous issue.  The main problem with this thread is that Psylocke comes off as a huge jerk jumping Maggott for no substantial reason.  She just keeps babbling about the darkness in him, but that describes like half the X-Men at any time.  Plus, like most 90’s X-Men threads, she completely forgets about it after this story concludes.

In fact the only thing that might be more anticlimactic would be to have Trish Tilby beat the villain in one hit after three issues of this storyline.  It’s not so much that I mind Trish delivering the final blow and showing that she can actually be useful.  It’s just that I’d like to see the heroes fight the army of cannon fodder robots for a couple of panels at least. 

Once again, the most interesting aspect of this story remains the complex and conflicting feelings Gambit continues to have over his past and his relationship with Rogue.  I like that Gambit and Rogue having sex makes Gambit feel more guilty, calling into question whether his motivations were to make Rogue feel better, or just to dodge her questions and make her feel more attached to him.  I still don’t like Spat and Grovel, but using them as sounding boards for the characters to express their feelings isn’t a terrible use for them.  Most important of all, after years and years of teasing, the X-staff is finally getting to Gambit’s big secret in the next issue.  Yes, most fans had already guessed the specifics at this point, but at least it was going to be over.  This story though was an unnecessary diversion from the final goal.  Yes the moments with Rogue and Gambit were important, but absolutely everything else in the last three issues can pretty much be forgotten.  Not Lobdell’s finest work, which is disappointing since this is his final story arc, but the Gambit/Rogue stuff was pretty well done, even if it could’ve all happened in one issue.

D

Uncanny X-Men #348

Uncanny X-Men #348

Writing: Scott Lobdell

Art: Joe Madureira 

What Went Down:  Joseph, Gambit, Rogue, and the bounty hunters Spat and Grovel start off preparing to battle Nanny and her army of robots and cyborg animals.  Joseph recognizes Nanny, leading to concerns from the X-Men that Magneto’s memories might be returning.  Instead of a battle, Nanny just turns on a power dampener and defeats all of them…after three pages of battle poses.  Trish Tilby observes the X-Men being captured and runs back to tell the Beast.

Elsewhere in space, Deathbird is talking to an injured Bishop.  She tells him that he has been severely wounded, the X-Men are all dead, and now they will rule the Shi’ar Empire together.  Back on Earth, we find out that the underground caves were below Antarctica, and Nanny has taken the heroes to one of Magneto’s old bases. Rogue isn’t feeling well, and she even takes on the personality of Sabretooth for a moment, yelling at Gambit for working with Essex.  When Rogue doesn’t remember any of this, Gambit tells her she didn’t say anything important.

In a separate room, Joseph is being served by Nanny, but he is still chained up.  The robot insists that he is Magneto, but will not free him.  However she does show him newsfeeds of the Operation Zero Tolerance invasion, as well as images of the other X-Men who were captured by the Sentinels.  When a picture of Moira MacTaggert appears, Joseph feels an unexplainable need for vengeance.

Next we get a page of Archangel and Psylocke returning to Warren’s apartment to find it trashed after events in X-Men #67, which I will get to later.  Psylocke disappears while Archangel looks at some bullet casings. 

In Antarctica, Beast takes a page to reflect on why he shouldn’t date because his lifestyle puts the ones he loves in danger.  He discovers restraints that Magneto trapped the X-Men in from way back in Uncanny #112-113, also Nanny’s first appearance.  It appears that people are sneaking up on Beast, but next issue this is completely forgotten, so just ignore it.

Gambit, Rogue, and the bounty hunters have been chained to stakes in a dungeon.  Gambit demands to know who and why Gambit is being hunted.  Spat responds that he knows why, and he wouldn’t believe who.  Gambit’s memories overtake Rogue; she is caught in a memory where Gambit saved a girl named Sarah, who later grew up to be Marrow.  Rogue forgets the memory as soon as it is over, and Gambit refuses to tell her what it was.  Instead he suggests that this might be their last night alive, and since their powers are negated, they can actually consummate their relationship.

How It Was:  Is it possible to have a story where too much is going on, but not a lot is actually happening?  That’s what this feels like.  There are lots of different scenes, but we don’t learn anything new from most of them.  Beast brooding about his relationship is nothing new, and the scene with Betsy and Warren doesn’t lead to anything until next issue.  There’s a pretty long scene with Nanny mentioning that Joseph might be Magneto (something we already know), and Joseph learning about Operation Zero Tolerance (something we already know).  Plus the sequence where Beast remembers the first Nanny story isn’t important to the plot at all.  Add the five-page non-fight at the beginning of the book, and the continued presence of Spat and Grovel (although Landscape has completely disappeared for no reason; he was so boring the story actually forgot about him), and this is a book that is doing a lot to make me dislike it.

What saves this book, and actually makes it a great deal better than last issue, is the Gambit/Rogue material.  Having Rogue’s memories of Gambit’s actions resurface and having her unable to remember them herself is a neat device, and Gambit’s reactions to them are well handled.  I also like that Gambit decides to ask Rogue to sleep with him, and even better, his motivations for doing this might be a little bit selfish.  Gambit’s guilt and his fear of being discovered are infinitely more compelling than anything else going on in this book at the moment.  Plus I like that it’s done with subtlety; the scene is more effective because we don’t get to see it.  Even with the Rogue/Gambit stuff, I can still only give this a mild recommendation.

C-

X-Men #61

X-Men #61
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Cedric Nocon

What Went Down: Archangel starts off the issue pounding on the door of his penthouse because Psylocke is inside a battling a group of undercloaks-the magic shadow ninjas from back in Uncanny #329. Unable to enter (I guess he forgot his keys?), Warren runs up the stairs to the roof, flies around, and busts through a window to find Betsy calmly sitting by herself. When Warren asks what is going on, Gomurr the Ancient shows up and hints at the cost of resurrecting Psylocke with the Crimson Dawn. This is all set up for a Crimson Dawn mini-series for the couple to star in, so don’t worry too much about it.

Back at the museum, Storm is trying to protect Karima, the orphan who was raised a thief by Storm’s mentor and is presently taped to a pillar. Storm confronts the Shadow King/Jamil and tries to stop him with a blizzard. Candra tries to get to the gem, but the Juggernaut appears, attacking her and Storm. Storm frees Karima and wonders if the appearances of the Shadow King and Juggernaut are somehow tied to Jamil’s powers. Candra and Storm get into a hand-to-hand fight, with Ororo throwing Candra in some rubble. While Storm tries to figure out what is happening, Cable appears and uses the gem to shoot a red ray at Candra. Storm figures out the cause of the manifestations, flies Karima out of the museum, and tells the girl that she has to stop this.

Elsewhere in the city, the X-Men are tracking Storm to help her. Jean uses her powers to hide their appearance from civilians, which causes a debate among the members. Jean turns a corner and everyone disappears, both X-Man and civilian. After three panels, everything returns to normal, with Wolverine asking Jean if there is anything wrong.

Back in the museum, Candra bursts out of the rubble and asks where Jamil has gone. Storm explains that Jamil never existed because Karima is actually a mutant whose power involves pulling desires from people’s minds and making them real; Jamil was actually a desire of Karima’s given form to keep her from being lonely. Candra’s own desire to get the gem was then projected onto Jamil by Karima. Storm throws Candra the gem, but at the last second Cyclops shows up and blasts it, killing Candra. The X-Men comment about how they are always there for each other, and Storm decides that she is going to take Karima home. In an epilogue in Hong Kong, Sebastian Shaw is revealed to be not dead. He makes a toast to his son Shinobi, and then says some cryptic mutterings about his next huge plan.

How It Was: Errr…I hate to be so negative all the time, but this really makes no sense and has no purpose. The cover teases an awesome fight with the Juggernaut, but what we get is a series of illusions that are only around for a page or two each. Candra’s “heart” has gone from her weakness to a typical ultimate power macguffin, and the resolution is super anti-climactic since Storm could have just destroyed the thing last issue and been done with all of it.

Now let’s talk about the M. Night Shyamalan style twist of Jamil not existing. Originally we’re told that Jamil is a mutant who can create illusions. Fair enough. Then we’re told that he might be possessed by the Shadow King, and the gem can enhance his powers. Still good. After that, a bunch of illusions from Storm’s history pop up and attack her. She somehow reasons that it is impossible for Jamil to be able to know these aspects of her history, so instead she figures that it makes more sense that Karima has the power to unconsciously read thoughts and desires from people and make them tangible. Also, Jamil isn’t real, as he was really an embodiment of Karima’s unconscious desire to not be alone. My question is, how is this the more likely scenario than a mutant who can create illusions screwing with a person with aspects of their past? Especially with an overpowered magic gem, shouldn’t this be well within the realm of possibilities in the X-Men’s lives?

Still, the twist might have been enough if we actually cared about any of the characters at all. Even Candra has little to no motivation; why did she put her heart in a jewel in the first place and what is she going to do if she gets it back under her control? On top of that, at the end Storm decides it is best to return Karima to her life as a struggling orphan thief in Africa by herself, as opposed to say taking her back to their mansion so she can learn how to use her insanely powerful mutant abilities. So there you have it, even Storm doesn’t care enough about Karima as a character to do the right thing by her.

As for the rest of the plotlines, the two-page spread of Psylocke fighting ghost ninjas looks pretty cool, but the stuff with the Crimson Dawn still isn’t interesting at all. And in what I assume is yet another forgotten plotline to add to the list, Jean Grey sees everybody in New York disappear for no reason. Sebastian Shaw is back, not that we really missed him all that much. While he is a much better character than his son Shinobi, Sebastian doesn’t really get any good plots in the modern age of comics that I can think of off the top of my head. But more on that in the coming issues of X-Men.

This story was probably the biggest misfire yet. I like the idea of putting the spotlight on Storm, but a boring villain, uninteresting supporting characters, and unnecessary plot twists make this one pretty forgettable. This is the type of comic that shows how diehard an X-fan is if they owned it and stuck with the series after reading it.

F

Uncanny X-Men #338

Uncanny X-Men #338
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira and Salvador Larroca

What Went Down: Archangel is laid up in the fetal position on the floor in pain. He is visited by Ozymandias, servant of Apocalypse. Ozymandias explains that Warren’s transformation into Archangel was only the beginning of Apocalypse’s greater plan. As Warren screams, his metal wings shatter, revealing his original organic feather wings.

In the Danger Room the X-Men are running tests on Joseph that involve measuring his responses to a simulation of the original X-Men battling Magneto. Joseph is taken aback by the old Magneto’s anger, but he has no connection to it, just emptiness. Jean takes this as a good sign, but Joseph worries that he may repeat his sins if he cannot remember them. Joseph asks Scott and Jean why the X-Men have taken him in after he has spent so many years trying to kill them as Magneto. Gambit and Jean explain that Xavier instilled in them the belief that no one is beyond redemption.

Psylocke takes the time to show up by teleporting through the shadows. Since she’s never done this before, all of the other X-Men are surprised, but she doesn’t seem to understand. She tells the X-Men that Archangel is missing and shows them one of the feathers that she found.

Warren finds himself drawn to a church in Brooklyn for reasons beyond his understanding. Inside the church, the Legacy-infected Pyro is in a confessional talking to a priest about needing to warn someone about a mysterious woman.

At a Graydon Creed rally in San Diego, Iceman, aka Robert Drake, has infiltrated Creed’s staff under the alias…sigh, Drake Roberts. He encounters J.Jonah Jameson of the Daily Bugle who tells him off for having his candidate prey on people’s fears and prejudices for votes. Drake is suitably impressed with Jameson and runs into another campaign employee, Carly Alverez. She introduces Iceman to Samson Guthry, who is really the X-Man Cannonball aka Sam Guthrie…groan.

The X-Men are assembled in the Blackbird on their way to help Warren, who bursts out of the now-flaming church’s window carrying the priest. His wings surprise all the X-Men, but they don’t have time to question him. Pyro has lost control of his powers because of the Legacy Virus. Joseph uses his powers to restrain Pyro in metal, and threatens to crush him if he does not stop. Wolverine scolds Joseph for threatening someone with a terminal disease. Pyro tries to explain about a group that has big plans, but the ground sucks him up, most probably because of the mutant Avalanche. The X-Men ponder Pyro’s fate, and the priest chimes in that he has finally found peace. Archangel worries about why he has his old wings back and how this plays into Apocalypse’s plans.

How It Was: Tell me if you’re sick of having me write this, but here we have another potentially interesting plotline that gets all but abandoned completely. I can respect that Lobdell is trying to do something different with a character that hasn’t had the spotlight all that much. Going off the setup from the end of Onslaught of a potential Apocalypse story, this seemed at the time that it might be going somewhere pretty good. But it doesn’t, and the plot point is all but dropped until the 2000s in the new X-Force series. Oh well. The overt symbolism of the church doesn’t really help matters that much; we get it, he’s an angel, he’s reborn, yadda yadda yadda. But there is an interesting bit with Pyro that sets up some future storylines…in X-Factor. Yes this a period of time where events were happening in the completely wrong X-books, as if you couldn’t tell by stories like the Beast being rescued in X-Factor during Onslaught.

Speaking of which, the Graydon Creed subplot has taken a turn for the stupid with Iceman and Cannonball infiltrating under the stupidest aliases in comics’ history. Spider-Man’s Jameson is still hanging around for some reason decrying the tactics of Graydon Creed. I get that Jameson’s character is supposed to have a lot of integrity when he’s not dealing with his most-hated Spider-Man, but is he really the right choice to be preaching for tolerance and open-mindedness? Also, it’s a little vague what Cannonball and Iceman are supposed to be doing. Are they protecting Creed, trying to dig up dirt, sabotaging the campaign? They just don’t seem to have any purpose. And I’m pretty sure that the X-Men already know that Graydon Creed is the son of Sabretooth and Mystique, so isn’t it about time to start making that information known?

The fight with Pyro is okay, if brief. I like that Joseph uses less than kosher methods to get Pyro to stop, even if he was bluffing, but it feels really out of character for Wolverine to be the one chastising him. Psylocke’s new powers are well-handled, but the thought of more changes to Psylocke makes me want to jump off a bridge; I’m not excited for this at all. This is a really great issue for Joseph and the rest of the X-Men as far as building him up as a believable member of the team. While Rogue’s absence is strange, I like seeing him interact with the other members, and it is interesting to see him interact with his own dark history. This is par for the course for a Scott Lobdell comic; the character work is great, but the plot structure leaves a lot to be desired as most of it goes nowhere or becomes forgotten.

B-

Uncanny X-Men #334

Uncanny X-Men #344
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down: Juggernaut emerges from a lake near the Xavier Institute. He swims underwater again and takes out some cameras. Up in the actual mansion, Bishop is trying to fix Cerebro after it overloaded in X-Men #51. He recognizes the technology from his time, but wonders what happened to stunt technology development to such a degree, which doesn’t make sense since Cerebro is obviously far more advanced than any other computer of its time. Gambit pops in, and Bishop calls him Remy for the first time. They discuss how Sinister’s attack in X-Men #52 reassured Bishop that he wasn’t crazy, and then an intruder alarm goes off, so they go to check it out.

Cyclops is in the Danger Room, shooting a bunch of drones. Jean bursts in, telling him they need to talk. She tells him about Onslaught’s attack on her, and that as time passes she remembers less and less. When Scott suggests going to Xavier, she becomes scared and tells him to wait. In Colorado, Archangel is trying to contact the mansion, but having no luck. This is odd, since Juggernaut destroyed his home last month in X-Men #53, so it’s probably a mistake on the writers’ parts. Psylocke is also unable to contact them with her telepathy, but she says it might be due to the Crimson Dawn. They decide to go to Westchester.

In Xavier’s study, Cannonball is telling the Professor how he feels guilty for not preventing Wolverine’s transformation in Wolverine #100. Xavier overreacts, yells at the youth for being so weak, and dismisses him.

Bishop and Gambit take a water skimmer out to the lake to find the disturbance. The Juggernaut attacks and knocks them both out. In Beast’s lab, the Dark Beast is examining Wolverine while Iceman and Storm watch. Dark Beast points out the ludicrousness of his counterpart's role in the X-Men, wondering how many scientific duties he was asked to perform at a given time. Wolverine breaks free of the restraints and runs off. Storm goes after him, but she is interrupted by Cannonball, who wants to talk about the Professor.

Bastion shows up backstage at a Graydon Creed rally and tells him off for stupidly attacking Senator Kelly last issue. Jean goes into the lake house, but discovers Gambit and Bishop unconscious on the floor. Juggernaut appears and tells her he’s not there to fight. He asks for Jean’s help because he knows Onslaught’s identity, but he can’t remember it. As a sign of good faith, he removes his helmet.

In the War Room, Xavier is going over files on the Age of Apocalypse’s Nate Grey, who attacked him in X-Man #10—a quote/unquote pivotal battle. Cyclops shows up because Xavier sent for him, and Xavier proceeds to tell him how big of a disappointment he is. He then tells Scott to stay strong, and reveals himself to be a telepathic projection. On the comlink, Xavier tells him that this was a test.

Jean takes Juggernaut to an underground, psi-shielded chamber that Xavier used to prepare for the Z’nox Invasion, back when he faked his own death.

The issue concludes by announcing that X-Men #54 will reveal the identity of Onslaught, but you’ve probably already figured it out from the previous page. There’s also a section recapping all of the previous mentions of Onslaught from the other X-Books, even though next month they’ll all be made trivial.

How It Was: This marks pretty much the height of the Bishop/Gambit bromance. After Onslaught, Gambit moves onto a love triangle with Rogue and Joseph while Bishop does nothing for a while before being blasted into space…seriously. But it has been kind of nice seeing the former enemies’ friendship grow, even if its sole purpose is to make the X-traitor subplot relevant again for the big reveal during Onslaught. Sure, having Bishop call Gambit “Remy” is a little sappy, but for what it is it works. And it means that Bishop will finally stop whining about his visions and dreams from another world. Unlike last time, the Juggernaut gets to show off his power by easily overpowering the X-Men and not acting like a hysterical girl, as he did in Uncanny #322.

Lobdell and Waid must have gone through all the original X-Men issues looking for ideas, because this issue brings us a plot device from the long, long forgotten Z’nox plotline of Uncanny #65. Once again while it is a neat little Easter egg for diehard fans, I doubt many people remembered, or even were familiar with, this obscure nod to the sixties. What’s really great is seeing Jean take such an active role in the series after being Cyclops’ partner for so long. Her conflict over whether to trust Xavier is very well handled. There is definitely a feeling of intensity, even now, in her scenes with Juggernaut as she worries about Onslaught discovering them.

However, the mystery is pretty much ruined by the fact that the writers have dropped almost all pretenses to the fact that Xavier is Onslaught. I guess his lashing out could be viewed potentially as Onslaught just manipulating him, but I think it’s pretty clear with the way he handles Cannonball at his desk that he’s being set up as a bad guy in all of this. Oh, and even though I’m really starting to dislike Dark Beast’s plot, I love how he points out how many jobs the real Beast does for the X-Men; he’s a biologist, chemist, medical doctor, virologist, mechanic, and physicist whenever the story necessitates it.

The fact that Archangel and Psylocke are fine in Warren’s house in Colorado is a pretty glaring error. On top of that, the narrative is still talking about Warren’s wing injuries, which is really getting old. And Psylocke is already starting to blame plot mechanics on the plot device that is the Crimson Dawn, a bad trend that just gets worse from here on out. Betsy’s acting weird? Crimson Dawn. She’s got new powers that are necessary for the plot to move on? Crimson Dawn? She can’t do something she normally does? It’s probably the Crimson Dawn. On the other hand, having Bastion call Graydon Creed out for being a moron is pretty entertaining to read.

Overall, the middle chapter in the Onslaught setup trilogy proves to be uneven. The mystery of Onslaught’s identity almost seems futile at this point due to the writing, and Psylocke and Archangel’s participation seems peripheral at best. Some decent character moments make this a little above mediocre, and it does set up everything nicely for the finale, anticlimactic as it is.

C+

X-Men #53

X-Men #53
Writing: Mark Waid
Art: Andy Kubert

Note: See X-Men Unlimited #11 next

What Went Down: Jean Grey is out shopping for clothes. She seems to be having difficulty keeping people’s thoughts out of her mind when she is telepathically forced to the astral plane by Onslaught, who now has an actual character design. Onslaught claims that he’s ushering in a flashpoint in human-mutant relations and shows Jean that her body has also disappeared from the store. Many of the people have unflattering thoughts about her. Onslaught appears to destroy the store, but reveals it as an illusion in the next panel.

In New Jersey, the real Beast is being held in a dungeon by the Dark Beast. Beast accidentally breaks his water source, but this reveals a trap door in the floor. Onslaught takes Jean to Graydon Creed’s campaign headquarters to reveal the hypocrisy of humanity. We discover that Creed’s campaign manager doesn’t really care about the anti-mutant cause, but that he is willing to persecute the mutant race just for a chance to get to the White House. Jean tells Onslaught she’s aware of people like this, which is why she surrounds herself with people she can trust.

In Colorado, Psylocke is in bed, still screaming as a result of the shadows around her. From the shadows, the Juggernaut emerges (I believe this is his return from the Malibu Exiles’ universe). Juggy wonders where he is. Strangely, Betsy says she scanned his mind even though his helmet is still on. Juggernaut announces that he knows an important secret, but he can’t remember it, so he destroys the cabin instead. Then he begins his journey to Westchester because he says he can only trust one person with his mind.

Onslaught takes Jean to the X-mansion, where they journey inside Xavier’s mind effortlessly. Onslaught accuses Xavier of being just as big a hypocrite as the rest of the humans. Jean claims they have a special bond, citing the instance in the sixties where Xavier faked his death, but shared his secret with only her. Onslaught shakes her image of Xavier by showing her Xavier’s thoughts from Uncanny X-Men #3 (1963), where a thought balloon actually did mention that Xavier was in love with Jean. Onslaught infers that Xavier just repressed this feeling like every other negative emotion he has. On the astral plane, Onslaught covers Jean in green slime to symbolize all of Xavier’s fears and negative feelings.

Over in South Carolina, Joseph—the de-aged, former Magneto, has stumbled upon a community picnic outside. They seem friendly, but there is a sinister undertone to the whole scene.

Back on the astral plane, Onslaught compares himself to the Phoenix Force and asks Jean to join him. Jean refuses, and they fight. Jean asks who he is, but he tells her that she already knows before soundly defeating her. She reappears in the dressing room at the store, and the final page has an effect of Onslaught’s name being burned onto her head, but this isn’t supposed to be literal.

How It Was: This is our first real look at Onslaught, since the X-staff finally decided on what the heck he actually is. It’s a pretty cool design, and Waid succeeds in making Onslaught appear menacing and calculating. At this point, the villain still feels like he actually has a purpose beyond being evil. Here he’s someone I want to read more about.

Jean Grey is a good choice for him to reveal himself to because she hasn’t really had that much to do since before Age of Apocalypse. This issue is solid, although there are some inconsistencies in the story: we never find out why Jean’s body disappears when she goes to the astral plane, and we don’t know why the racist blond cashier knows that Jean is from the Xavier Institute. Still Onslaught does make an interesting case for the weakness of people by bringing up how what they do and how they feel are often in direct conflict with one and other. Not all his examples are super—I feel like the employees are allowed to assume Jean is a shoplifter if she disappears from the store, but the theme of the story is still solid. Also, I’m not sure what is up with Onslaught’s name being burned into Jean’s head; I think it’s a figurative way of showing how Onslaught messed with her head, possibly also explaining how she starts to forget events later.

And Onslaught also has a good point in bringing up that Xavier is as fallible as anyone else, despite being placed on a pedestal by the X-Men. Once again, while the main idea is intriguing, the examples given are kind of weak. Jean seems convinced that since Xavier told her about his fake death, it doesn’t make him a hypocrite, when really it makes both of them hypocrites for hiding this fact from the rest of their teammates. Waid also digs up an obscure quote from 1963 that paints Xavier in a more lecherous light. Yes, it did happen, but it’s obvious that Stan Lee dropped the concept shortly after because even he realized that it was a little creepy. Plus there are more contemporary examples that could’ve been used instead of dragging out this oddity that really has no bearing on the Professor’s character at all.

The Psylocke/Archangel thread is still a mess, but at least something happens. Juggernaut shows up, appearing from shadows for some reason, and trashes Warren’s cabin for the heck of it, in spite of the fact that he wants help from the X-Men. Worst of all, Warren’s cabin appears perfectly fine in the next issue of Uncanny, even though the entire cabin is clearly totaled in this comic. This whole part really makes no sense whatsoever. As for the Beast, it’s nice to see him alive, but he doesn’t get a whole lot to do other than stumble onto a way out that goes nowhere (plotwise). Joseph shows up just long enough to tease his appearance in X-Men Unlimited, where, in a heck of a coincidence, he meets up with Rogue, who just happens to be in the same small town in South Carolina as he is.

The main ideas in this issue work really well, and Onslaught is just new enough to seem novel. It’s just in the little details and subplots where the issue drops the ball. It’s nice that Waid is trying to make use of continuity, but by picking something that so few writers have chosen to acknowledge, the reveal doesn’t really carry as much weight; his experiences with Amelia Voght would have fit in nicely. Still, this is the best that Onslaught ever comes off, so that is an accomplishment in it of itself.

B

Uncanny X-Men #330

Uncanny X-Men #330
Writing: Scott Lobdell and Jeph Loeb
Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down: Archangel (now dressed in a kimono) and Wolverine (now dressed in a see-through mesh shirt!?) are being led to a secret, sacred area by Gomurr. The costumes are necessary because of tradition for something. Inside the building there are lots of dragon decorations and shadow ninja demons. Dr. Strange teleports in and Wolverine appears to stab him, but really he is attacking a ninja demon behind him. The demons are called undercloaks, and a big fight ensues with them.

At the Xavier Estate, Gambit is watching over the unconscious Psylocke, thinking about how she might know his secret. When Psylocke starts seizing, Gambit briefly considers letting her die to ensure his secret, but ultimately ends up calling Beast to help her because he is a hero.

Meanwhile, our heroes appear to be descending into what looks to be hell. Archangel is struggling because of his injury, and Dr. Strange suggests that he should go back. Warren refuses. The heroes come upon Tar, the Proctor of the Crimson Dawn. Tar already knows what they want, and Wolverine is ready to start a fight, but Gomurr stops him and instead tries asking for it. Tar appears to kill Gomurr, and another fight ensues.

Back at the mansion, Beast and Xavier are doing their best to save Betsy. While Wolverine attacks Tar, Dr. Strange shows Archangel a big glowing ball; the ball shows them that Betsy is about to die. Dr. Strange reaches into Archangel and pulls out a statue of Psylocke that is supposed to be, I kid you not, “the part of her soul that she has trusted to Warren.” Strange puts the statue in the glowing ball, and at the mansion Psylocke is bombarded by a red light that brings her back to life. Wolverine, Strange, and Warren are kicked out of the dimension, and Gomurr materializes to show that he is not dead. Strange remarks in his head that even though they won, the battle for Psylocke’s soul has only just begun.

How It Was: The first half of this issue is a very slight improvement over last issue. While most of the dialogue is still exposition, the mystical characters are given some humorous lines, like Gomurr’s explanation of how one becomes ‘Gomurr the Ancient’ or Tar’s exclamation “and people call me unstable” when he sees Wolverine fighting. And Gambit gets some nice moments where he is conflicted about Psylocke’s death because he doesn’t want the other X-Men to discover his secret.

Still the rest of the story is pretty weak, as is some of the dialogue; Beast tells Gambit that he is going to try his “gosh darndest” to save Betsy. Who would say that? Xavier’s dialogue is no better as he proceeds to dump a bunch of unnecessary exposition about Psylocke’s past injuries while he is trying to save her. Plus the sequence where Dr. Strange talks about the part of Betsy’s soul that she gave to Warren is one of the stupidest things I’ve ever read in a comic book. Although both Loeb and Lobdell are credited as writers, I feel like it is safe to say that the dialogue was probably mostly Loeb’s responsibility, for better or worse.

Also, there’s still the problem that this still feels like a stock plot that you could plug any Marvel characters into. I can’t say that I really care about any of the new characters introduced in the story, and the story itself doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Why is the doorway to hell in a Chinese New Year decoration warehouse? Why is Wolverine wearing a see-through mesh shirt? Why is Dr. Strange here when Gomurr is perfectly capable of supplying all of the exposition? And don’t get me started on the weak attempt at conflict in the middle of the issue when Dr. Strange starts an argument over Archangel’s health.

So there’s not a lot to recommend in this issue, unless you’re a fan of super heroes in stories about magical macguffins that don’t fit the tone of the series.

D-

Uncanny X-Men #329

Uncanny X-Men #329
Writing: Scott Lobdell and Jeph Loeb
Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down: The Sorcerer Supreme Dr. Strange is observing Wolverine and Archangel with a cauldron. He announces that the X-Men will need his help whether they realize it or not. So right away we know we’re dealing with a story about magic.

In “Little Asia” Wolverine is leading Warren to a teahouse in search of a mystical maguffin to save Psylocke. Wolverine explains that there are aspects of this world that are unexplained but still exist. Warren complains the whole time that he should be by Betsy’s side and that Wolverine is probably losing it. Logan convinces him to stay, and right as Warren is about to drink his tea, Logan hits it away. The cup smashes on the ground and turns into a magic ninja shadow warrior thing.

The shadow warrior attacks, and Warren struggles to fight it due to his injured wing from the Sabretooth Special. Wolverine tells him that the creature is metal sensitive, but Archangel can’t seem to hurt it because all the parts he cuts off turn into separate demons. Wolverine stabs an old lady and the demon disappears. Archangel is convinced Wolverine just murdered an elderly woman, but Logan reaches inside the body and pulls out an ancient sensei-type named Gomurr the Ancient.

Gomurr and Wolverine seem to know each other, and we learn that the ghosts were a test. Wolverine tells Gomurr that they are after a pint of the Crimson Dawn from the Ebon Vein, but Gomurr refuses to help until Wolverine threatens him. Dr. Strange shows up at the end and tells them that he will be joining them on their journey.

How It Was: This is an odd turn of events. Instead of seeking out some kind of scientific medical treatment, Wolverine and Archangel go off on a mystical samurai buddy adventure. I have to say that the premise alone completely turns me off as I feel like it sets a bad precedent to save characters’ lives through magic. After all, it brings up the question of why they don’t do the same thing every time somebody is severely injured. Plus magic has never really been very central to the X-Men mythos, other than the more recent Decimation. It leads to a generic story that you could plug any two random Marvel heroes into and it would still feel the same.

Now Archangel and Wolverine aren’t bad choices since they’ve never gotten along, and they both care about Psylocke. Unfortunately their relationship doesn’t really grow in any meaningful way; Warren complains a lot until Wolverine is proved right, and then Warren apologizes. That’s it as far as fleshing out the relationship goes. Dr. Strange doesn’t feel necessary to this story other than to assist with the readers' acceptance of a story about magic.

And while the ghost ninja things look pretty cool, the story devolves into silliness when the driving force behind the story is revealed to be an elderly, ever-smiling little person. It’s ridiculous to look at, and completely erodes any drama set up by the potential death of Psylocke. Worse yet, we’re dealing with the Crimson Dawn, which is reminiscent of the Siege Perilous—a plot device dimension that alters characters in random ways (memory loss, new powers, teleportation, etc.) This is really weird, and really bad.

D-

X-Men #48

X-Men #48
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Luke Ross

What Went Down: The X-Men are taking part in a friendly game of poker at Warren Worthington’s private loft, including a guest appearance from Ben Grimm of the Fantastic Four. Beast is frustrated that Cannonball keeps revealing his cards. The Thing takes off to go save the universe, so Sam takes his spot in the game. Gambit and Storm have a conversation to recap the recent injury to Psylocke in Uncanny #328 and the fate of Sabretooth.

Meanwhile Bishop is describing a flashback/nightmare from the Age of Apocalypse to Cyclops and Jean Grey; in it a shadowy person that appears to be Havok is chasing him. Cyclops tells him that he and Jean have had similar experiences after raising his son Nathan in the future, but Bishop is frustrated by his disorientation. The waitress, Pam, comes to take their order—this is the woman Bishop thought was familiar from way back in Uncanny #299, an issue from almost two and a half years before this one.

It turns out that Bishop is being monitored by the Dark Beast, although the X-office doesn’t want to use that name. After the Age of Apocalypse, Dark Beast was transported twenty years into the X-Men’s past, where he has been experimenting on the Morlocks. In this issue he is meeting with his fellow AoA refugee, the Sugar Man. Both villains have a deal where they share intel, and Sugar Man feels out of the loop. After a standoff at gunpoint from both parties, they agree to calm down.

At the Xavier Institute, Xavier is watching over the mortally injured Psylocke. She wakes up and notes how tired Xavier looks. She assures him that she knew the risks involved and that it is not his fault. Back at the card game, it turns out that Cannonball is a bit of a ringer as he’s won a vast amount of chips. It’s down to Sam and Gambit, so Storm excuses herself to go to the kitchen. Bobby follows to ask Storm to tutor him in his powers since both of their powers involve harnessing the elements. She agrees, but to my knowledge nothing ever comes of this.

In Dark Beast’s lair, McCoy discusses how Bishop is a time anomaly that shouldn’t exist, and that he was the same person as his counterpart in AoA. Dark Beast also mentions that this information might be valuable to Sinister, which scares them both.

During the last hand, Gambit taunts Cannonball with some sleight of hand tricks; this triggers some great realization about the Legacy Virus for Beast, but nothing ever comes of this either. Inside the lair, Dark Beast shows off a creepy brain matter being that filters thought into data. He and Sugar Man decide that they need to kill Bishop so Sinister cannot use him to find out about the Age of Apocalypse. In the card game, Cannonball lays down a full house. Gambit has a royal flush, but he blows up the fifth card, along with the table, even though he has the winning hand. The message seems to be that Gambit doesn’t like to be predictable or wants people to underestimate him or something.

How It Was: This is another story that comes straight out of left field. It feels like Lobdell is treading water until a replacement writer can be found for X-Men, so instead of starting any new threads, he’s sticking to character moments and resolving old plot threads that never went anywhere. And when I say old, I mean practically ancient, totally forgotten threads. We’re reintroduced to Pam, the mysteriously familiar waitress from Uncanny #299. It’s nice that Lobdell is finally resolving this point, but I can’t help but feel that everyone has forgotten about the one panel where Bishop recognizes her from almost three years before.

As for the X-Men, a lot of their arcs are going around in circles. After asking Jean for help with his powers last issue, now Bobby is coming to Storm, which is fine except that once again nothing ever comes of this. Bishop is still haunted by the AoA, and Scott and Jean are still trying to empathize with him, but this doesn’t really work since the couple was never seen going through any of this. At least Lobdell seems to be going someplace with this by setting up Bishop as a potential obstacle for the machinations of the Dark Beast, although once again it is never quite revealed why he is so afraid of Mr. Sinister.

The poker game is an entertaining aside, and it’s a surprise to see Cannonball purposely mess with Beast, but mostly it’s an excuse for exposition about Sabretooth’s escape and the Legacy Virus. Plus, I don’t really understand what the point is of bringing in The Thing for a whopping three pages. The end is kind of perplexing, as I can’t really tell what exactly Lobdell is trying to say about Gambit, other than maybe he likes to be seen as volatile.

This is yet another lukewarm issue of X-Men. I don’t hate it; I’m kind of ambivalent to it all. Sure it’s refreshing to see Cannonball written as confident, but there are so many false starts in this issue that never come to anything that it is hard to care.

C

Uncanny X-Men #328

Uncanny X-Men #328
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down: Professor X has decided that Sabretooth is a lost cause, so he and the X-Men are getting ready to turn Creed over to Valerie Cooper of X-Factor. Xavier is happy that he tried, even though we never saw it on panel. Jean shows Bishop and Cyclops that Sabretooth was faking his rehabilitation by demonstrating that the serene forest scene that he had been spending time in looked like a creepy haunted wood with dead carcasses through Sabretooth’s mental perspective. Bishop thinks they should kill Creed, but Cyclops argues that they can’t kill everyone who disagrees with their beliefs. Bishop brings up the repressed memories of the Age of Apocalypse that he has been seeing and expresses frustration that Xavier is too busy to help him. Scott and Jean reflect on their own experiences with time compression from The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix.

Sabretooth continues to argue with Xavier, trying to get Charles to admit he is jealous of Creed’s freedom. Val Cooper interrupts to check in. Jean and Cyclops try to comfort Xavier about his guilt for failing, but Xavier brushes them off.

Boomer from X-Force shows up in Sabretooth’s cell. She is angry that Sabretooth was faking his injuries because she felt a connection with him when she was helping to rehabilitate him. Psylocke watches silently, while conveying support that Tabitha is standing up for herself. Sabretooth manages to anger Boomer, causing her to blow up his restraints. Once free, Creed is about to kill the girl, but Psylocke intervenes and a big fight begins. Psylocke tries to end the fight with her psychic knife, but it turns out that the injury to his brain that Wolverine gave him now makes Creed immune to telepathy. So Sabretooth ends up gutting Psylocke. The other X-Men respond, but it is too late; Sabretooth has escaped.

How It Was: So despite saving the Gen X kids during the Phalanx saga, and being a hero in Age of Apocalypse, and the head wound that seemingly made him gentler, Lobdell decides to write Sabretooth back into being a villain. There’s nothing wrong with this except for the fact that it’s such an anti-climax after a plot line that has lasted for almost three years. Xavier’s change of heart feels very sudden, and although there are legitimate reasons for turning Creed over, it’s hard not to feel like Xavier is just giving up since we never actually saw him try to help the villain. I guess you could write it off as foreshadowing of some kind for Onslaught.

It’s also surprising to see that X-Force is still living at the mansion, but this goes on for many more months. I like the interaction between Boomer and Sabretooth, although the point he gets her to overreact on seems to be Cannonball learning about her past as a villain, which he is already aware of. Psylocke gets some nice moments to shine, since she hasn’t had anything to do in about half a year.

Sorry to say, but the art really lets this issue down, as it is definitely not Joe Mad’s best work. Sabretooth is drawn with ridiculous proportions this issue; I’m talking like Strong Guy from X-Factor proportions. He looks like he has an absurd amount of muscles this issue. Also, the main dramatic crux of the issue, Psylocke getting mortally wounded, doesn’t have the impact it could’ve since Psylocke is essentially drawn with her eyes closed. This isn’t really the artist’s fault so much as the Comics Code Authority of the time, but it still reduces the effectiveness of what should be a fairly shocking event; the artist just isn’t allowed to properly show what happened to her.

This is actually an okay set up to a couple of stories that are not so great. While I admire Lobdell for trying to put some of the focus back on Psylocke, the results of the upcoming story end up complicating her even more while delivering a mediocre story. Still I guess this issue does have some unexpected moments, at least if you can manage to ignore the cover.

B-

Uncanny X-Men #322

Uncanny X-Men #322
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Tom Grummett

What Went Down: Archangel receives a call from his ex-girlfriend, Detective Charlotte Jones. Warren tries to apologize for not calling her in months, but she brushes him off. Charlotte has called Warren in to get his opinion on a mutant specific case, and to warn him about possible backlash from the media. One of Charlotte’s subordinates decides that Archangel is dangerous and attacks him, but Warren deflects the energy weapon and temporarily paralyzes the cop with a wing dart. Charlotte chastises the men, and then leads Warren into the crime scene. It’s a nightclub full of dead bodies; Archangel is told that there is something he can see better from above, but we’re never told what this is referring to after he flies up.

Outside the mansion, Storm is reflecting on her friendship with Gambit as she worries about him in his coma. Wolverine shows up to talk for a bit, but then disappears when Siryn of X-Force comes by to ask for help.

Beast has decided to take Bishop to New Jersey to see a movie in hopes of helping him relax and get over his nightmares/visions about the Age of Apocalypse. In case you’re wondering, they go to see Pulp Fiction, which had just won a bunch of Academy Awards at the time. Beast tries to get Bishop to open up, but they are interrupted by something falling out of the sky, smashing through buildings and cars. That something turns out to be the Juggernaut, and he’s been beaten up pretty badly.

Jean and Cyclops are visiting Jean’s parents to tell them that they learned her sister was assimilated by the Phalanx during the Phalanx Covenant. This wraps up a story from the eighties that dates all the way back to X-Factor #2. Jean and her father talk, and Jean has a flashback about her sister because, according to her, telepaths’ brains never forget anything. Scott and Jean drive away, but an invisible, intangible Noah Dubois of Landau, Luckman, and Lake is observing them.

Beast examines the Juggernaut and determines that he has no pulse. Psylocke shows up just because, and the Juggernaut wakes up scared out of his mind. Everybody fights; Betsy stabs Juggernaut with her psychic knife and senses his overwhelming fear. Bishop covers himself with power lines to finish off Juggernaut, but not before the villain explains that he was knocked to New Jersey from Canada. Bishop subdues Juggernaut, but only because the bad guy was already weakened, and Juggernaut tells the X-Men that he was beaten up by someone named Onslaught.

How It Was: First of all, it’s important to note that the Blue/Gold Team split is pretty much dead starting with this issue; all the X-Men are free to come and go in any X-Men title and fight with whomever they want. This leads to a lot of stories that emphasize smaller groups of X-Men, which is nice because it gives the writers an opportunity explore a lot of different groupings, personalities, and relationships, although the inclusion of X-Force at the mansion serves as little more than a distraction to the main events. It’s also really nice that the main titles have more impact on each other.

Also starting this month, some moron at Marvel thought that a great way to improve their comics would be to take the issue numbers off of the covers to make collecting an even bigger pain in the butt. If you’re wondering, you can still find the issue number in tiny print inside the barcode, but this is still really inconvenient. Don’t worry; Marvel was bombarded with fan complaints, so this trend only lasted about a year.

Now as for the story—it’s a nice, slow set-up issue that brings up a couple of plot points that are sure to be explored in the next couple of issues, as well as farther down the line. There’s nothing really wrong with this except for the fact that X-Men Prime was already supposed to have done this. Future issues notwithstanding, the awkward interactions between Archangel and Charlotte are well handled, and Beast is pitch-perfect as always under Scott Lobdell.

The parts that stick out the worst are the scenes with Jean exploring the death of her sister. This “mystery” had been set up almost a decade before, and even the resolution to her sister’s whereabouts occurred ten months before this issue came out. It’s nice that Lobdell follows up on the point, but it’s too little, too late for anybody to actually care about this character that never really had any significance to the X-Men franchise. Plus Cyclops’ “what if we weren’t X-Men?” discussion is really cliché and has nothing to do with the situation. It appears that Scott Lobdell was setting up a storyline involving Noah Dubois, who appeared two years ago and appears in a couple of future stories, but nothing ever comes from these cameos.

The Juggernaut fight is well handled, even if it’s a blatant example of cutting down a strong character to make a new threat look more menacing. The impact is pretty much lost due to the fact that Juggernaut hasn't appeared in either of the main X-Men books since the eighties.  My one nerdy nitpick would be that Psylocke shouldn’t be able to use her powers on Juggernaut when he has his helmet on, and for that matter, why is she even there? And of course, this is the first we hear about the enigmatic Onslaught. Fair warning, the X-Books are going to be setting this one up for over a year, and a lot of the clues go absolutely nowhere. But this initial story actually works really well once we figure out who Onslaught is (SPOILER: IT’S PROFESSOR X). An inauspicious start, but it is nice to see that the writers are mixing it up a little bit with the presentation and structure of the books. Plus fill-in artist Tom Grummett draws a pretty awesome Juggernaut.

B-

Uncanny X-Men #320

Uncanny X-Men #320
Writing: Scott Lobdell and Mark Waid
Art: Roger Cruz

What Went Down: Legion Quest Part 1: Storm opens the issue in the middle of a desert in Israel with wind and lightning whipping all around her. She and the Gold Team (minus Archangel, but plus Psylocke) are confronting Legion, aka David Haller aka Professor X’s son. Legion has found a way to integrate all of his multiple personalities, each with a separate power, making himself very powerful. The story then flashes back to the X-Men’s initial arrival in Israel where Gabrielle Haller meets them at the airport; Gabrielle is Legion’s mother, and Professor Xavier’s former lover.

Gabrielle fills the X-Men in on the situation. Legion has secluded himself behind a black energy dome in the middle of the desert; the threat of Legion is so great that it is has inspired Israelis and Palestinians to join forces to combat this threat.

Inside Israel’s fancy technological command center, Gabrielle debates with some of the officials about nuking the dome. One of the technicians accuses the X-Men of somehow being to blame for this incident on the sheer fact that they are also mutants.

Back in the present, Storm and Legion are locked in battle. Demonstrating his newfound powers, Legion takes Storm and travels back in time to the day her parents were killed. Right as Storm is about to save them, Legion sends them back to the present. The X-Men attack him again, but Legion again brushes them off; during the fight, Bishop is able to absorb some of his energy.

Then the story jumps back to the X-Men’s arrival for a couple of panels. Legion then creates a portal to travel back in time. Somehow Storm figures out that by having Psylocke stab Bishop with her psychic knife, the energy Bishop absorbed will somehow allow the team to follow Legion through time. Jean is able to use her powers to keep from being sucked in, but the rest of the team is lost.

All the way over in the Shi’ar Empire, Empress Lilandra is awoken by the head of her Imperial Guard, Gladiator, slamming through her chamber wall. The assailant turns out to be Jahf, an obscure character who I believe last appeared during the original Phoenix Saga in the seventies. He has traveled to warn Lilandra about the end of existence, which has something to do with the M’Kraan Crystal—the nexus of all realities—that he guards.

How It Was: It’s big event time. Legion Quest is a four part crossover that leads into an even bigger event, the Age of Apocalypse, which lasts for another four months and changes the titles of every X-Book. This is a fun little storyline because from a certain perspective, it’s basically the last X-Men story before the world of the Marvel Universe ends.

My biggest complaint about this issue is that the advertisements in the book ruin the end of the story: Legion tries to kill Magneto in the past, but ends up killing Xavier instead, thus altering the timestream as we know it. I can understand the reasoning behind this move from an editorial standpoint; with the events of this story kicking off the Age of Apocalypse, and the renaming of all of the X-Books, Marvel was probably worried about confusing fans who might not buy the new books during the crossover. Remember, this was before the Internet, so the only way you as a reader knew what was happening was by either reading Wizard Magazine or paying attention to the advertisements in various Marvel comics. At the same time these ads really ruin the tension of the entire story, and the emotional payoff at the end is extremely lessened by the knowledge of the story’s inevitable conclusion. I honestly feel like the advertising in this issue compromises the artistic integrity of the story, but then again, I just ruined it for all of you who haven’t read it, so what do I know?

As for the rest of the story, it’s mostly a lot of exposition and explanation. Gabrielle Haller is brought in to explain how Xavier has a son, since this son hasn’t been seen in almost a decade, and also because she will prove important in later flashback sequences. Legion’s history and powers are kind of explained, although without the gimmick of his split personalities he’s really a generic, all-powerful cosmic bad guy type. And Lilandra and the M’kraan Crystal are introduced into the story for arbitrary reasons; namely, they serve to set up one of the maguffins needed for the Age of Apocalypse storyline down the road.

The sequence that really stands out is when Legion and Storm travel back to the past so he can mess with her. Not only does it demonstrate the villain’s powers, it also sets up the premise for the story, while also showing an interesting side of Storm. It’s very interesting to see the normally peaceful and stoic Storm lose her cool and risk altering the space-time continuum for her own personal feelings. It’s a great human moment for her, although it does set up some contradictions for the next issue.

The art by Roger Cruz is gorgeous; lots of energy crackling and dust being kicked up, which makes sense since it is in a desert. The characters are very expressive, and you can see the fear in the team’s eyes as they fight a hopeless battle. Legion himself really just stands around and throws energy at people, but this works in the first chapters since it sets up the obstacle for the team to overcome. Plus I really like the symbolism in the panels with the portal right behind Legion’s head, making it appear as if it were a halo.

This is a pretty good setup issue for the story. The entire crossover itself kind of drags in the middle, but there is still something to recommend in every issue. As for this one, it does a good job defining the conflict and the threat, but I do wish that Marvel hadn’t made the decision to reveal the end of the story before it even came out.

B+