X-Men #9

X-Men #9
Writing: Jim Lee and Scott Lobdell
Art: Jim Lee and Art Thibert

Update: Click here for Part 2 and Part 4.


What Went Down: Once again, sorry I’m missing part two. This is part three of a four part crossover with Ghost Rider; I’ve never read the Ghost Rider issues, but presumably Ghost Rider randomly goes to New Orleans, encounters the Thieves and Assassins Guilds, and learns that they have been infected by the Brood before being infected himself. Also the X-Men are probably there to.  Update: After reading the issues in question, turns out I was right.  Am i good or am i good?

Anyways, the beginning of this issue starts with the Blue Squad plus Bella Donna (Gambit’s wife, or is it X-Wife—get it, ah ha ha) encountering Ghost Rider as he transforms into a half Brood/half Spirit of Vengeance. Yes, it’s Motivation for Pointless Super Hero vs. Super Hero Fight #56, the bad guy gains control over one of the parties involved.

Some Brood “slaymasters” also show up, and a very large battle ensues. Belle demonstrates some pretty impressive energy powers, which leads Gambit to question where she got them. Also, Jubilee freaks out and runs away because the Brood are supposed to be really scary, and Brood Ghost Rider is supposed to be even scarier.

The floor collapses. Afterwards Belle reveals she still has feelings for Gambit when she demonstrates concern for his wellbeing. Meanwhile, the reason you bought this comic in the 90’s—Wolverine and Ghost Rider fight for two whole pages. Ooooh. During the fight, Ghost Rider demonstrates signs that his human host, Dan Ketch, is fighting the Brood possession, so he runs away.

Elsewhere, Cyclops helps Psylocke out of some rubble, and Psylocke makes a pass at him. He responds as you’d expect; he acts incredibly uncomfortable and then pretends to ignore it.

Somehow Jubilee winds up alone, and ends up stumbling into a chamber where the aliens are holding members of the two guilds prisoner. Rogue finds her and both of them free the prisoners. They mention that the guilds’ children are being held in a different place. Then Ghost Rider shows up again.

All of the X-Men wander in to help fight Ghost Rider. Using her psi-blade, Psylocke manages to enter Ghost Rider’s mind. Surprisingly, Bella Donna goes in with her, although neither woman knows how. Together they fight the Brood essence controlling Ghost Rider, but Belle gets injured before killing it. Upon returning to the real world, Ghost Rider is back to normal, but Belle is dying. Gambit comforts her as she dies.

The comic ends with everyone striking a dynamic pose and explaining how they still have to save the captive children. Unfortunately, I don’t have Ghost Rider #27 either, so just assume that the kids get saved, and nothing monumental happens to the X-Men.  Update: click the link above.

How It Was: Well, it’s a big, dumb issue long fight scene; it’s not the best comic battle you’ll ever read, but it’s nice, light fun. The highlight of the issue is the dialogue by Scott Lobdell; he writes some exceptional funny banter, especially for the Beast and Jubilee. Moreover, he manages to convey some tragedy during the death of one-off character Bella Donna. The scene where Gambit tells her he would’ve chosen her is just perfect, as the panel cuts to both Rogue and Jubilee looking completely shocked and devastated.

The art is spectacular as always, although it’s never really clear where the fight is taking place. While it’s probably explained in the second part of the story, it would still be nice for the writer or artist to place a reminder or something. At first it looks like everyone is in a sewer, but then the floor gives out, and everybody falls into what still looks like a sewer. Furthermore, how do all the X-Men get separated when they all fall straight down through the floor?

My big problem with this issue is that it seems like an unnecessary crossover; the only reason this story exists is because the X-Men and Ghost Rider were both really popular characters at the time, and Marvel wanted to see if they could get some cross promotional action going. I guess I’ve just never really liked Ghost Rider as a character because he just comes off as a generic antihero with a really cool design, especially during the 90’s when comics were overflowing with antiheroes. Some people might say that I haven’t given the character a chance, and if I read the series regularly I’d discover how complex and interesting he is.

Here’s how I see it, when it comes to comic characters, there are certain defining stories that any fan could hand to an interested party to experience the best of what the book or character has to offer. This isn’t one of those stories, but the X-Men have a bunch of them, as do Batman, Spider-Man, etc. My point is that I don’t see a lot of people waving around any specific Ghost Rider story like X-Men fans might mention ‘The Dark Phoenix Saga’ or ‘Days of the Future Past’ or even possibly ‘Messiah Complex.’ Every story I have ever read with Ghost Rider in it, as well as the atrocious movie, has only reinforced my opinion that he was briefly popular in the 90’s because he’s visually interesting, not because there is any substance behind his character.

Man that was a heck of a tangent, but still relevant. Anywho, it’s a fight that is nice to look at, but doesn’t do anything to utilize Ghost Rider, other than to make him look even more bigger and over the top. But some nice X-character moments push this comic above mediocre.

B

X-Men #8

X-Men #8
Writing: Jim Lee and Scott Lobdell
Art: Jim Lee and Art Thibert

Quick Note: This is the start of a four part crossover, but I only have the X-Men parts. Sorry, but I’ll make it up to all of you when I review the X-cutioner’s Song, which I do own all of. The missing parts of these reviews take place in Ghost Rider #26-27 if you’re interested.

Update: Click here for Part 2.

What Went Down: We begin with Wolverine on the computer, looking for files about his past. It’s unclear whose files he’s looking at—if he were looking at Xavier’s files, surely the Professor would grant him permission, and he wouldn’t get so many “access denied” screens. Jubilee tries to talk to him, but he tells her to go away.

Bishop is getting a tour of the facilities from Storm, who still doesn’t trust him, and the Professor. When they encounter Forge, Bishop tells him that in the future he will be called Genesis; nothing ever comes of this. Forge alludes to the neglected relationship between Storm and himself, which will be brought up again over in Uncanny #289.

The Blue Team meets Bishop for the first time. He displays his characteristic hero worship, lets us know that Jubilee will be known as the last X-Man (also never goes anywhere), and informs Beast that in the future he is a well known philosopher.

When he gets to Gambit, Bishop recognizes him as Lebeau the Witness from his future; he automatically assumes that Gambit is the X-traitor alluded to in Uncanny #287. All of the X-Men ignore Bishop’s concerns, and then they all go off to have a picnic.

Wolverine somehow discovers a connection to the name Barrington. This gets resolved in a back up story in X-Men #10-11.

Next we have the beginning of a very unusual subplot where Psylocke attempts to seduce Cyclops, and Cyclops acts like a babbling idiot. To make matters worse, this begins right in front of his girlfriend Jean Grey while she is trying to discuss the possible effects of the Professor’s recent re-paralyzing, thus making her very jealous. Basically Scott ignores Jean because he is too busy staring at Betsy in her swimsuit.

Rogue apparently baked food especially for Gambit, so you know that they are getting serious. Bishop interrupts and gets in a fight with Gambit, as the cover indicates. The fight ends, I kid you not, when Gambit hits Rogue in the face with a pie, and both men start laughing so that Rogue will think they made up. After resolving that problem, a woman named Bella Donna shows up and announces that she is Gambit’s wife.

Back inside the mansion, all of the X-Men act very surprised. Gambit takes the opportunity to relay some of his past; Gambit was a thief and Belle was an assassin, he married Belle when they were young to bring the two clans together, he accidently killed her brother in a duel, and he was exiled. The Blue Team agrees to go with Gambit to help stop the infighting between the clans.

Ghost Rider shows up at the end of the issue and freaks out a traffic cop in New Orleans; this scene is very important because without it you can’t call this the first part of a crossover between the two books.

How It Was: In the span of one issue there is an awful lot going on here. We have the introduction of Bishop to the team, the revelation that Gambit might be the traitor, the revelation of Gambit’s real name, and the revelation of Gambit’s wife Belle and some of his past; it’s a heck of a lot to take in.

But that’s okay because the next issue is just a big, loud fight with the Ghost Rider, so I guess it all evens out. This issue works really well because everything going on revolves around the theme of trust. Bishop is trying to get the X-Men to trust him. In turn, Storm and Rogue try to convince him that Gambit should not be judged for actions he has not yet committed, when all of a sudden this icon from his past shows up to remind everyone how mysterious and dangerous Gambit is. Plus Belle adds some much needed drama and conflict to the Rogue/Gambit love train. There is some pretty funny dialogue in this issue that comes at Gambit’s expense.

It’s also nice to see Wolverine following up on exploring his past since it always comes back to haunt him and his friends; however, as I mentioned before it’s a little unclear exactly where he is looking for this information or what exactly he is searching for. The Cyclops/Psylocke plot continues for a while, but nothing really comes of it except for some awkward encounters; I guess there is some humor to be found in Scott’s awkward reactions.

As for the art, it has the leg up on Uncanny in that background art actually exists in it; nothing fancy, but most of the panels at least give some clues as to where the characters are. Of course, some of the trees look hastily drawn, but overall it’s a nice change of pace to see some bright outdoor scenes as opposed to the single color backdrop of past issues. Also, we get some nice designs of the X-Men in their swimwear.

This is an enjoyable issue with some really great character moments, and also some not so great ones. It’s also very important for Gambit fans. Enjoy it because the next three issues are pretty light on characterization.

B+

Uncanny X-Men #287

Uncanny X-Men #287
Writing: Jim Lee and Scott Lobdell
Art: John Romita Jr.

What Went Down: Bishop, Malcolm, and Randall track down the last of the evil mutants that Fitzroy brought from the future in #282. They are in the middle of executing the bad guys at a seedy nightclub.

The Gold Team is on its way to stop the future cops. In case you’re curious, Iceman explains that Mikhail Rasputin is at home resting since last issue.

One of the thugs forgets Bishop’s power for a minute and shoots him with a laser, charging him back up. Once the bad guys collect themselves, they focus their gunfire and wind up killing Malcolm and Randall in an explosion. Ah, we hardly knew them.

Bishop swears vengeance when Colossus falls through the ceiling, and the rest of the X-Men show up. Bishop still doesn’t believe they are the real X-Men because they won’t condone violence; he appears to attack them. Then Colossus punches him really hard, and Bishop lands with a pipe sticking through his midsection. The Gold Team realizes that Bishop was really attacking an evil mutant who was targeting Storm. In the mean time, Bishop manages to disappear, despite having a hole through his body.

Bishop flashes back to the future, where Malcolm and Randall are still alive, and they are chasing Fitzroy through some abandoned tunnels. After catching Fitzroy with a neuro-collar, the three stumble upon the remains of the X-Men’s war room, where they watch a distress call from Jean Grey. In it, Jean warns of a betrayal before getting killed by someone off screen.

His curiosity aroused, Bishop goes to a prison called the Pool and meets with a criminal named Lebeau, who is assumed to be the future Gambit. He is also known as the Witness since he is the last person to see the X-Men alive. Bishop tries to get answers from him, but receives nothing except for some vague ramblings. The Witness also alludes to a prior relationship between Bishop and himself.

Fitzroy escapes his cell by absorbing the energy from a rat and lets the rest of the prisoners out. Bishop and his partners go to the basement only to find all of the escapees going into a portal. The three friends decide to follow, and this leads into Uncanny X-Men #282-283.

When Bishop wakes up from his flashback, he is in the X-Men’s medical facility, and he accepts that they really are the X-Men. Professor X asks to be left alone with Bishop, where he presumably learns everything about Bishop’s future. Out in the hall, the Gold Team questions whether or not they should trust Bishop. Professor X calls them all back in and announces that Bishop is the newest X-Man.

How It Was: Quite good, to put it succinctly. The flashback scenes for Bishop go a long way towards defining him as more than just the mutant Punisher, and the deaths of Malcolm and Randall, although completely expected, still lend Bishop a little pathos.

Of course, the best tidbit is the scene in the abandoned war room that starts off the X-traitor subplot. It’s a genuinely surprising and creepy scene with the stuttering video, and who could forget the gravity of the statement, “Professor Xavier was the first to die.” Of course, like most plots, the X-office stretched it out for too many years before resolving it in a completely unsatisfying way. But it was very cool at the time.

John Romita Jr. is up at pencils, and he draws a spectacularly energetic gun battle between all of the time travelers. Unfortunately, the scene does have one awkward hiccup when a bad guy forgets Bishop’s power because the writer needs to remind the reader what he does. Also, it’s a little unclear what causes the explosion that takes out Bishop’s partners, and some of the scenes in the future look more like they take place in space. But these are minor complaints for what is a really, really great issue.

A

Uncanny X-Men #286

Uncanny X-Men #286
Writing: Whilce Portacio, Jim Lee, and Scott Lobdell
Art: Whilce Portacio, Jim Lee, and Art Thibert

What Went Down: Colossus is reunited with his brother Mikhail, and it is revealed that Mikhail is the actual savior from the prophecy. All of the rebels decide that they now have two saviors on their side. Mikhail has the power to stop the portal from destroying both worlds, but he refuses to.

We learn the tragic origin of Mikhail. As a Russian cosmonaut, he was forced to fake his death when the government found out he was a mutant. Mikhail and a group of scientists were sent into the void and crashed. When he awoke, he found that he was recuperating in the palace with the former Avatar, or king, and his daughter Tra-Mai-A-Zath. Mikhail and the king’s daughter were married, but when he returned to the wreckage of his vehicle, Mikhail learned that the king had killed the rest of his crew.

Mikhail then joined the resistance, who are pro-democracy. It turns out that the portal was responsible for the Avatar’s powers, so Mikhail tried to close it with his own mutant abilities. The end result killed everyone on both sides and made him very sad.

Elsewhere, Iceman freezes a bunch of goons who were hassling the local women; he and Sunfire learn the location of the rebel base from one of the women.

On Earth, multiple portals are popping up, and everyone is powerless to stop them. Reed Richards, Hank Pym, and Nick Fury make cameos so that the reader knows this is quite serious.

Colossus and Mikhail argue over what should be done. Mikhail walks away rather than risk everybody’s lives.

Over at the Triumvirate, Archangel is training with some soldiers of the Posse Comitatus, when he accidentally kills them all. It is revealed that Sha-Har-A-Zath, the current avatar, has the ability to control his will through touch. She’s also very bitter that Mikhail killed her parents and sister.

The mind controlled Archangel leads the Posse Comitatus into battle against the rebels. A huge fight ensues with Storm, Jean, and Colossus coming to aid the rebels. Archangel attacks Jean, but is stopped by the arrival of Iceman and Sunfire. For some reason, being shot by Sunfire’s heat blasts also cures Warren of his mind control.

Colossus is injured blocking a laser blast for his friends, which causes Mikhail to pull out two swords and fight. Sha-Har-A-Zath reveals that she is also a mutant, attacks Rasputin with some kind of pink laser, and then gets sucked into the void. Mikhail decides to use his powers, but with the assistance of the other X-Men, he is able to prevent the body count of his first attempt.

The X-Men make it back to the other side, with Mikhail in tow. Colossus has to give his brother CPR, but he makes it and learns about their sister. Awww, a happy ending.

How It Was: This is the Whilce Portacio’s last issue on art; he would later go on to help co-found Image comics with Jim Lee, Todd McFarlene, and a number of other influential artists of the time, leaving the X-offices, and Marvel Comics in general, totally screwed.

This is slightly better than the past two issues, as it isn’t all just set up, and events actually occur. While Mikhail Rasputin’s reappearance isn’t a huge deal in the long run, it does make for some great scenes with his brother. The part where Colossus confronts Mikhail and accuses him of abandoning his duty is really well done; it gets the right mix of Peter’s feelings of betrayal and anger as he calls Mikhail a coward not just for refusing to help the alternate dimension people, but also for running away from his life on the farm to become an astronaut.

The fight at the end is also pretty good; however, the supposed main villain of the story Sha-Har-A-Zath gets dispatched in one panel by the void instead of an actual character (and may I never have to write that name again). The whole story ends rather abruptly, and the reader never gets to see the impact of the rebels’ battle other than Jean swearing that they didn’t die. The end also suffers from the X-Men having to use their powers in ways that blatantly defy science; how can Sunfire’s power open a window between dimensions?

While everything comes off as rushed, from the ending to Mikhail’s origin, I still think it was a good idea to end the story and get the X-Men out of that dimension. It just didn’t work; the other dimensional people weren’t very interesting because they weren’t all that different from normal, everyday people. Other than having purple hair and advanced weapons, nothing makes them stand out. The Primate character who keeps following our heroes is a wasted opportunity to introduce the ideas and behaviors that could have defined these people and made the reader care about their all too cliché battle. Also, their dimension needed a name like Polemachus or Asgard; no creator is ever going to write another story about the unnamed dimension of the purple-haired people.

C

Uncanny X-Men #285

Uncanny X-Men #285
Writing: Whilce Portacio, Jim Lee, and John Byrne
Art: Whilce Portacio, Art Thibert, and Al Milgrom

Note: The price goes up twenty-five cents this issue. Stupid inflation.

What Went Down: Colossus, Jean Grey, and the rebel leader Primate fall out of the other side of the portal into some fantasy world. They notice that the rest of the X-Men are nowhere to be seen, and then they are attacked by a group of rebels who think that they killed the Primate. Jean and Colossus are both defeated, but the rebels surrender when they see Peter unarmored and mistake him for some kind of savior.

Meanwhile, Storm is dying in a desert. This is odd because normally the weather doesn’t affect her, but since she is in a different dimension she gets to feel the full effect. A stranger rescues her and takes her back to his house. He feeds Storm and asks how she found herself in a desert alone. When she brings up the portal, the stranger freaks out

Archangel stumbles upon a group of rebels fighting against the forces of the established government, which we later learn is called the Triumvirate. In a daze, Warren kills all of the rebels, and when he wakes up he is proclaimed a hero even though he has no idea what happened. This is an ongoing subplot from X-Factor where Archangel’s wings would control him and cause him to slip into rages because they were created by Apocalypse.

And finally we find Iceman and Sunfire in a bar after having fallen through a hole in the roof. When the bartender and his patrons show justifiable anger at having their property vandalized, the two mutants beat them all up and leave.

Back in the desert, Storm and the stranger are getting ready to ride giant lizards to the location of the portal, so they can stop it from destroying both worlds. Storm is pretty sure the X-Men will fix the problem, as should be the reader by this point.

Colossus and Jean are being lead back to the rebels’ base and trying to fit in with the group as best they can.

Iceman and Sunfire walk away from the bar, which is completely destroyed in background. Sunfire takes the time to backhandedly apologize to Iceman for attacking the X-Men during his first appearance. Since it happened almost thirty years (in real time) before this issue, Iceman isn’t too concerned. The pair hear about a steel warrior and go off to find their teammate.

Archangel meets the leader, known as the Avatar, of the Triumvirate; her name is Sha-Har-A-Zath, and she makes Warren a Lord Protector in her army.

Back at the rebel base, Jean and Primate are discussing the prophecy that Colossus is meant to fulfill. Jean finds him in a room with a harem of women, at which point he starts acting embarrassed and bashful. Storm and the stranger show up at the exact same time, and the stranger reveals himself as Mikhail Rasputin, Peter’s brother who was supposed to have died.

Back in the real world, the police are investigating the bodies of more mutants that Bishop and his team have killed. Witnesses have mistaken the XSE officers for the X-Men because of the black Xs on their uniforms, and Trish Tilby is doing a report on possible mutant gang warfare. Bishop again ends an issue with a vow—this time that his past will never come to be.

How It Was: On the plus side, all of the X-Men get their own individual plot lines in this story, so some of the characters finally get some room to breathe and let their personalities show a little. Archangel’s subplot is at the same time the best and the worst. On the one hand it deals with the internal darkness he’s been struggling against since his transformation, and the fact that he might be finally losing control is rather intriguing indeed. On the other hand, his plot deals with the monarchy of this dimension, and I get bored just writing Sha-Har-A-Zath and Posse Comitatus, let alone reading about them.

As for the other character beats, they’re okay. Storm’s plot at least has the mysterious stranger’s identity to keep readers invested, although the reveal that he is Colossus’s brother makes for a hell of a coincidence. Colossus and Jean’s arc has the mystery of the prophecy, but it’s never really resolved completely and comes off a little contrived in the end. Iceman and Sunfire’s journey is completely unnecessary, and the question of why Sunfire is even in this story is still a very pertinent one.

Above all else, the world is just really boring and not fleshed out at all. The only things the reader really learns about the culture are that there is a monarchy, some of the people don’t want a monarchy, and the people say “by the mother and son” a lot. It’s about as interesting as it sounds.

The Bishop plot continues and it seems like there may be serious ramifications for the rest of the X-Men. There aren’t, and the fact that a bunch of civilians think they saw the X-Men gun down other mutants in the middle of a club gets quietly forgotten. Oh well.

C-

Uncanny X-Men #284

Uncanny X-Men #284
Writing: Whilce Portacio and John Byrne
Art: Whilce Portacio

What Went Down: Sunfire, the Japanese fire wielder, receives a new costume. He’s out with a team of Japanese and Russian scientists exploring a mysterious portal on the Sakhalin Islands. The team tells Sunfire to use his powers on it, at which point something in the void attacks Sunfire.

As for the Gold Team, they are still on the Blackbird returning from the previous story arc. Colossus has broken his nose, and everyone wants to know how Jean stuck her mind in Emma Frost’s body. Jean has no idea. Jean and the Professor attempt to scan the White Queen’s mind when Forge interrupts them with an emergency alert from Sunfire’s science team.

Back on the island, Sunfire’s new armor isn’t doing much, as the attackers are immune to his powers. Just as they are about to finish him off, the X-Men appear to save the day. Jean notes that the attackers’ minds are very alien, even though they are all speaking perfect English.

During the fight, Forge launches some missiles from the Blackbird; he claims that they are only concussion missiles and will only give the attackers a bad headache. The invaders fire on the missiles, which explode and appear to do a lot more damage than just a headache. One of the soldier’s costumes is damaged and causes a huge explosion, revealing the leader of the group is a young woman in armor.

The girl, named Primate because it is some sort of military rank, says that they were actually trying to protect the Earth from the void, not invade it. The explosion opens the void and sucks all of the X-Men, Sunfire, and Primate into it. Xavier and Forge notice that the vortex continues to expand, even after the X-Men disappear.

Over in North America somewhere, Bishop and his assistants, Malcolm and Randall, are busy tracking escaped criminals from the future. They find three who have butchered some local women, and the XSE officers proceed to kill the bad guys. After finding the dead women, Bishop vows to save humanity from these villains.

How It Was: Well this is the beginning of a pretty inconsequential, and kind of boring, three issue arc. Basically the X-Men get sent to a fantasy world that they will never see again, and it’s not a very dynamic or original one at that. Still, that doesn’t happen until next issue, so I can’t really judge this issue on those merits.

It’s nice to see Sunfire again, although his new costume is really generic looking and he contributes absolutely nothing to the overall plot. This issue he gets completely beaten and then he acts like a jerk to Colossus, and in the next two issues he acts like a jerk to Iceman, and that is all he does for the whole story. Why is he here? I couldn’t tell you.

Also, the X-Men spend a lot of time going over what happened in the last story. This isn’t a bad idea in principle, since there are a lot of unanswered questions about Bishop, Fitzroy, and Jean’s powers that need to be explored, but nothing new is learned after three pages of discussion. The X-Men just get sidetracked and never bring up this quirk with Jean’s powers again.

As for the unnamed bad guys, they do have a very cool design and look awesome, but they aren’t really that interesting. One of them is called Primate for crying out loud. And the reveal that they were actually trying to protect the people of Earth doesn’t really work since the narration before made it pretty clear that the bad guys killed all of the innocent scientists. The Bishop subplot is okay; it’s nice to see he wasn’t forgotten.

The art is par for Portacio; some great characters and action scenes with most panels lacking any background art. For some reason the island Sunfire and his team are on has a blue ground with blue mountains and green water in the background; it is a very odd choice. Plus, some of Storm’s facial expressions during the issue can only be described as awkward—just check out the bottom of page 17.

D

Post Frequency

Me thinks that saying I would post once or twice a week was a little over ambitious.  So it looks like it will probably be closer to bi-weekly posts or possibly every three weeks.  Sorry, it's hard to find the time.  So if you've discovered this page and are wondering when the next post is coming, all I can say is soon.  Thanks for the patience.