Uncanny X-Men #358

Uncanny X-Men #358
Writing: Steven Seagle

Art: Chris Bachalo

What Went Down:  Bishop opens and narrates this one-off story as he and Deathbird have crash-landed on an alien planet.  Bishop internally recaps the circumstances that have led him to this point, and then rescues Deathbird from the wreckage.  They are beset by a group of alien scavengers who shoot Bishop with a harpoon, so he can’t absorb it.  They fight off the scavengers, and an alien named Karel, who speaks perfect English, offers to give them transportations.

Karel explains that the scavengers are called the Ursaa.  He also tells them that he is a freedom fighter whose world was invaded by the Chnitt, the same aliens who shot down Bishop’s ship.  The group discovers that Karel’s camp was attacked by Chnitt while he was rescuing Bishop and Deathbird, so he takes them to his friend Tu.  Karel tells Bishop that he has come to this planet to retrieve a weapon that will raze the Chnitt from his home.  The planet they are on is a trader’s planet, so Karel plans to use a warp gate to return home.  Bishop thinks he might have a chance to get back to Earth.  Deathbird internally chides him, saying that she loves him and will force him back to the Shi’ar.

Back in Alaska, the original X-Men are helping Scott and Jean pack their belongings; they are leaving Alaska because people around them know they’re mutants.  Scott tells Jean that the buyers for their house have backed out, so they don’t know what they’re going to do.  Some kids throw a brick through the window and scare everyone.  Scott tells them to let it go.  Suddenly Jean senses the psychic event from the Psi-War story (in X-Men #77-78), and is knocked into a catatonic state. 

Back on the trader planet, Deathbird is attacked by a Chnitt, which looks like a giant spider.  After killing it, Bishop realizes that Tu has sold them out, and probably died for his troubles. After acquiring a transport, the group is almost eaten by a giant monster.  Right before they reach the warp gate, the group discovers a giant ball that has been tracking them.  The ball is attacking the city, knowing that Karel has the secret weapon, nullifier charges, which eat metal.  Bishop decides he cannot allow the alien citizens to suffer on their account.  He takes one of the charges and tells Karel and Deathbird to go through the gate without him.  Bishop climbs a roof, throws a charge, and destroys the ship.

After destroying the giant ball, Bishop runs to the warp gate just in time to see it collapse for no reason.  Bishop laments his loneliness, until he discovers that Deathbird has remained on the planet to be with him. 

How It Was:  Bishop and Deathbird’s wacky space odyssey continues as they make their way to a completely generic sci-fi planet.  I don’t even think it has a name; it’s just called the trader planet.  It’s obvious that Marvel is testing the waters to see if Bishop might be able to sustain his own book—years later he would go on to receive it. 

While the designs for the Chnitt are really great, everything else is just so forgettable.  The reader knows right from the beginning that he’ll never see the bland Karel ever again, or his plot-convenient grenades.  Even the mothership at the climax of the story is just a giant ball that fires lasers. Some of the action set pieces do look pretty cool even if they don’t really drive the plot.

So why did I enjoy this issue so much more than I thought I would?  The answer lies in the Bishop/Deathbird dynamic.  It’s really not what super hero readers are used to.   Deathbird is so attracted to Bishop that she fails to pick up on how their worldviews are so different, and Bishop is so repulsed by the idea of being with a villain that he can’t see how attracted he is to her.  I like how Seagle forces Bishop to be the level-headed one of the group, while Deathbird is the wildly impulsive brawler.  Their interactions and the ways they play off each other are great.  It’s just great to see how even they can’t tell whether their feelings for one and other are genuine affection or familiar comfort. 

It’s also nice to see Seagle trying to address the problems writers have been having with Bishop since the Onslaught event.  With his purpose for existing nullified, nobody has known what to do with Bishop.  Seagle tries to play up how out of place he is, and how weird it must be to interact with people who are supposed to be dead.  It’s a bit of a stretch to say that Bishop hasn’t made friends with anyone from the team, but this might just be Bishop’s way of softening the blow of losing his teammates.  Playing up the fact that Bishop is always out of place is as good a way to go as any. 

The Scott and Jean scenes are rather abrupt; Scott’s injuries seem to have disappeared, and I can’t tell if the couple is supposed to be going back to the X-Men or leaving just to escape the townspeople.  I do appreciate that the Psi-War is tying into the greater Marvel Universe; it’s just a shame that there is only really one more issue where Jean deals with these events.  I don’t remember liking this as much when I first read it, but now I feel I can better appreciate just what Seagle was trying to do.

B

Uncanny X-Men #357

Uncanny X-Men #357
Writing: Steven Seagle

Art: Dan Norton

What Went Down:  On the streets of Ptarmigan Creek, Alaska, a swarm of crows has begun to attack people on the street.  Unaware of these events, the original five X-Men enjoy drinks at a local restaurant.  Jean has interrupted the conversation about Scott’s new direction because she finds it too serious for the get-together.  The team sees the pandemonium outside and jump into action. 

Outside they decide to help people while trying to remain incognito.  Each hero takes a turn saving civilians.  Sheriff Chris shows up and shoots a gun in the air, scaring off the birds.  Iceman presents his hypothesis that the crazy shaman is behind this, but nobody believes him. 

At the Agee Institute, Dr. Agee is examining Rogue’s DNA sample. He talks to his sister about how hideous Rogue is now, and how he’ll cure her as he did his sister.  It is revealed that his sister is a horrible looking monster in a glass tube.  At Scott and Jean’s cabin, the team discusses recent events while Jean gets into costume.  Staci’s sister Melissa barges in and sees the team as mutants.  She says she is okay with it because she has six toes on each foot, so she’s a mutant too. 

Up in space, Bishop (remember him) is still strapped to his bed while the ship he and Deathbird are on plummets towards a sun.  He convinces Deathbird to release him, feigning feelings for her, and the two are able to plot a new course towards a nearby planet. 

In Alaska the team gets into costume and splits up to get to the bottom of the rampaging crows.  Iceman goes after the crazy shaman, Beast and Archangel discover toxic waste in the birds’ habitat, and Cyclops and Jean rescue Chris and his deputy from a swarm of birds.  They are initially insulting to the mutants until their lives are saved by the X-Men. 

As the birds converge and the team reunites, the birds form a big person shape.  Jean discovers that one of the birds is a robot and destroys it at the same time that Cyclops blasts the person-shape and Iceman knocks out the shaman.  The bird-person dissipates, although nobody can say who was responsible.  Cyclops’ is weakened from the use of his power exacerbating his injuries, and Iceman discovers that the shaman’s “bag of enchantment” is full of bird see.  As the rest of the team walks away, Iceman sees the Indian guy’s spirit form into a bird and fly off (I think).  The bird announces the end of the issue.

How It Was:  So…this is an issue where the original X-Men fight a lot of birds.  Nuff said.  It really is that simple and there isn’t anything more to it.  Most disappointing of all is the way Jean derails Scott’s new idea for the X-Men; it’s hard to say if Seagle just never got around to it, or if he never had anything and was just teasing it to fill up space.  Either way it’s a bummer.

And then there’s the fighting with the birds.  This issue has some “so ridiculous they’re good” panels in it, such as Cyclops punching birds mid-air or Iceman beating birds with a sandwich board.  It’s the kind of thing that’s so absurd that it sort of works in an unintentionally humorous sort of way. 

Then we get to the ambiguous ending…I can’t tell if it’s supposed to be a true mystery or just playing off of the fact that the plot is so ridiculous that it shouldn’t matter.  It doesn’t really bother me at the end of the day, but I do find the robot bird’s presence a little odd.  There are some story inconsistencies; Cyclops and Jean fret the whole issue over Scott using his power because of his injuries.  However, he also manages to carry a grown man over his shoulder with absolutely no effect whatsoever.  Cyclops and Jean work so hard to maintain a low-profile, but they leave the door unlocked for Melissa to barge right in and learn everything.

Even odder is the pick-up of Bishop’s thread after about four months of losing track of it.  This is a pretty sudden shift, made even more abrupt by the solo focus on Bishop next issue.  As for the events affecting Rogue—this issue more or less states that Agee is crazy, yet the events of #359 seem to brush this aside if I remember right. 

This isn’t something that would sell a new comics reader, but it is fun for longtime X-Men fans to reconnect with the history of the book.  It’s too bad the veteran members of the team could not have had a bigger threat to go up against.  The crows sort of overwhelm this half of the story though, replacing ambiguous suppositions with the fun character moments from last issue.

C

Uncanny X-Men #356

Uncanny X-Men #356
Writing: Steven Seagle

Art: Chris Bachalo

What Went Down:  In the snowy north of Alaska, Archangel, Iceman, and Beast are in a cab on their way to visit Cyclops and Jean.  They’ve traveled all this way after listening to a concerned message from Scott.  The cab they’re in gets hit by a bird and crashes into a moose.  This allows the X-Men to meet secondary character Sheriff Chris Miller—Scott and Jean’s neighbor. Iceman sees a local crazy man and considers that he might be responsible.

Back at the mansion, Wolverine is waiting in the yard for SHIELD with the captive Karl Lykos, the alter ego of Sauron.  Wolverine has recaptured him off-panel after the end of #355.  Rogue shows up in her original costume and tells him she’s going to the city.  After Rogue flies away, there’s a big flash and Lykos is gone, presumably taken by GW Bridge.

In Alaska, the original X-Men are reunited and introduced to Chris’s wife and sister-in-law.  Inside, the X-Men ask Scott why he summoned them.  Scott is hesitant, because he doesn’t want to talk about Jean in front of her, so he talks about wanting to discuss a new direction for the X-Men.  Upstairs Cyclops explains to Beast that he is concerned about Jean’s powers and her wearing of the Phoenix costume.  He mentions that last time he saw Jean wear the costume he was silent while it took her over, but now he wants to stay on top of it. 

Downstairs the X-Men reminisce about the events of Uncanny X-Men #1 and discuss recent events in the comics.  They also discuss trying to find the Professor, although Jean says she’s been looking with her powers.  The room fills with smoke, and Warren flies up to find a dead bird clogging the chimney.  Staci’s sister sees Warren on the roof.

In Manhattan, Rogue observes Dr. Agee to see if she can trust him.  After seeing him leave a research facility called Mutopia, she confronts him.  He claims that Mutopia wanted him to join their consortium, but he declined.  During this conversation, Rogue slips into Gambit’s speech patterns for a moment. 

Scott and Jean take the rest of the X-Men out to a restaurant.  They’re forced to park far away due to a protest of the local Inuits over land rights.  Iceman sees the crazy shaman again, and Cyclops sits down with the X-Men to discuss his bold new direction from Xavier’s dream as a large flock of crows flies over the restaurant.

How It Was:  This is a random one, but it’s full of nostalgia and faithful characterization.  Seagle’s story is reminiscent of the quieter, more character-centric issues of X-Men that Scott Lobdell used to write after a big crossover.  The main difference is that this isn’t after a big crossover; it seems to be setting up a future Phoenix story or a new direction for the team, but it never really gets around to doing either.  All that really happens is an original X-Men reunion with some offbeat Twin Peaks-esque supernatural occurrences happening around it.

In spite of weird tone of the plot, the reunion is actually really nice to see.  Even though the majority of these characters have been in circulation for over thirty years by this point, most of them had been more or less overshadowed at the time by newer, more popular characters like Wolverine, Storm, Rogue, and Gambit.   Seagle nails the relationship of the group perfectly—the playfulness, the desire to help each other, the comfort these characters have around each other, and the way being around each other makes them feel younger.  The scene between Beast and Scott over Jean works really well; the concern Scott expresses feels authentic and it’s a strong use of continuity that reinforces the story, rather than convoluting it.  Seagle also has some fun trying to hide the Beast’s appearance, but the joke might go on for a little too long.

As far as weaknesses…well, Chris and Staci are still one-dimensional as ever, and so is their new sister Melissa.  And the bird storyline is just an odd direction to go; it really feels like a forced reason just to get the team into costume next issue.  There was a focusing on birds in #352 as well, so I do wonder if the cosmic entity in that story was meant to be the reason for Jean’s sudden interest in the Phoenix.  Ah, we’ll never know.  Bachalo makes the most of the imagery, and his designs for the characters are all vibrant (even if he gives Iceman a goofy soul patch). 

Also worth noting, the Rogue/Agee subplot has a lot of setup this issue that never plays off.  The Agee scenes especially are positioning him as a crazy villain, but all this gets forgotten soon enough.  As for Rogue being possessed by Gambit, this doesn’t pay off, except for maybe some throwaway lines from Rogue later.  Seagle’s character work is top notch this issue, even if his plot feels forced.  I like that the spotlight is being directed on characters that haven’t had it on them in a while.  It’s just really a shame that a lot of what is here gets dropped later on.

B-

Sabretooth Special #1

Sabretooth Special #1
Writing: Fabian Nicieza
Art: Gary Frank

What Went Down: After escaping the X-Men in Uncanny #328, Sabretooth encounters current X-Force member, and former Morlock, Caliban. Sabretooth taunts Caliban, saying that X-Force won’t allow him to be himself. When Caliban hesitates, Creed electrocutes him with some nearby electrical wires.

We learn that the X-Men squad tasked to capture Sabretooth is made up of the five original X-Men. Jean scans the city telepathically, but for some reason Creed’s head wound now makes it harder for telepaths to find him. Cyclops and Iceman go to one of Sabretooth’s apartments to see if he shows up there. He does, and beats up the two X-Men before escaping. Iceman pursues, but he is forced to ice off Creed’s escape after Sabretooth takes a hostage.

Sabretooth escapes to a subway, but wouldn’t you know it, the Beast coincidentally happens to be on board. So they fight as well. As Sabretooth is about to kill Beast Cyclops shows up in the nick of time, so Creed runs away again.

This time Archangel catches up to him and grabs him off the ground, believing that Creed will have nowhere to go in the air. Sabretooth damages one of Warren’s wings, causing both of them to fall, but Iceman manages to save Warren with some ice. While Iceman takes Archangel to the hospital, the rest of the X-Men continue the search.

Jean manages to pick up some thoughts from Sabretooth, and learns that he is trying to get to Boston to kill the Generation X kids. She finds him, and knocks him around with her telekinesis. Cyclops blasts him, but he gets faked out and pulled through a window. The X-Men give him a lecture on why it is important to be good as they fight him, all the while asking Sabretooth what he wants and why he is doing this. Jean gets a hold of him telekinetically, and Cyclops realizes that the thing Sabretooth wants is his own death. Jean drops Creed, and Cyclops has to shoot him in the head to stop him from hurting some cops.

Creed seems to die, but we all know that isn’t going to last. Val Cooper packs him up so that he can join X-Factor. Cyclops tells his friends that it’s sad that Sabretooth technically won since he got what he wanted.

How It Was: Fabian Nicieza returns to the X-Men for this special one-shot, with its shiny cover and lack of advertisements. Yes, this is the same format that the Age of Apocalypse one-shots had, except this doesn’t feel nearly as epic an event as those did. This feels like a genuine attempt at a cash grab since all of the gimmicks feel completely unnecessary. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to have no ads, but this comic is definitely not worth five bucks.

This isn’t to say that this comic is bad;  this just doesn’t really feel like that pivotal of an event for the X-Men. Nicieza does manage to present a really neat portrait of Sabretooth. Instead of revealing Sabretooth’s motivations, Nicieza leaves them up in the air and this actually works to some degree. It’s also frustrating to have months and months of set up be brushed aside as "Creed was faking it" for unknown reasons. What is neat to see is all the other characters guessing at his motivations: he’s angry, he’s enjoying his freedom, he’s planning revenge, or maybe he wants to die. The whole idea of the book seems to be that nobody knows what Sabretooth wants, including himself, and there is kind of an interesting idea in that which doesn’t get fully explored here.

The original X-Men are an odd choice for the stars of this one-shot. Surely characters like Wolverine, Gambit, and Bishop have closer ties to Sabretooth and thus would have been more interesting to bring into conflict with him. I guess that Nicieza was looking for X-Men to combat Creed’s philosophies as well as his body. But I really like the dynamic he has with Jean Grey where, like Wolverine, he respects her because she is willing to do what is necessary to him because she hates him as much as Logan does. And the scene where Archangel gets his wing broken is pretty shocking, but unfortunately leads to months of him complaining about how much his wing hurts. There’s a little too much sermonizing from the X-Men on the importance of control and knowing one’s purpose, but that’s them taking the high ground; it would be weird if these particular X-Men were only throwing insults back at him.

The real problem with the plot is that it’s trying to set up Sabretooth as this psychopathic killer that needs to be captured before he can kill hundreds of people, but then he never kills anybody. He has plenty of opportunities with the X-Men, Caliban, police officers, various hostages and random people, but he always lets them go. This probably has to do with the Comics Code, but it really cuts the drama to have a violent killer who forgoes every opportunity he has to kill.

The end is completely anti-climactic since we all know that Sabretooth can heal himself, so why even go through the motions of pretending he’s dead? And the fact that the telepaths can’t track him, but can read his mind just enough for plot convenience is a little contrived. But this is still a pretty good chase scene for a character that did play a significant role in the X-Men for a time. The plot isn’t exactly revolutionary, and this probably didn’t need to be double-sized, but it does get the job done with some decent action.

C+