X-Men #63

X-Men #63
Writing: Scott Lobdell and Ben Raab
Art: Carlos Pacheco

What Went Down: In the middle of downtown Hong Kong, Shang-Chi, the Master of Kung-Fu, and the rest of the X-Men are attacked by a group of technologically enhanced ninjas. Each of the ninjas announces his or her name and power as they fight the heroes. Shang-Chi notes the attraction between Jean and Wolverine and the leadership of Cyclops; he even helps Cyclops out when the girl, Katana, attacks him. Storm deals with a ninja named Fist, and once all the ninjas are dealt with Sebastian Shaw shows up.

Jean overreacts to Shaw’s appearance by crushing him under a car; she realizes that this was a mistake and blames it on her feelings associated with Shaw’s manipulation of the Phoenix into Dark Phoenix. Of course, hitting Shaw with the car allows him to absorb the kinetic energy of the crash, charging him up. Storm and Shaw agree to move the discussion elsewhere, and Shang-Chi notes that Cannonball has disappeared. As for Sam, he has stowed away on a rickshaw, using his blasting power to keep him from weighing the vehicle down.

At the Hong Kong branch of the Hellfire Club, Cyclops comforts Jean, and she mentions something sinister on the horizon. Shaw tries to convince the X-Men that he is trying to close the deal for the Elixir Vitae for the benefit of human and mutant kind. Later in his lab, he receives a disk with data on all the characters who have contracted the Legacy Virus thus far, including Moira MacTaggert, Multiple Man, Illyana Rasputin, and others. The disk comes from Rory Cambell, an assistant of Moira’s who gives Shaw the data in the hope that Shaw can find a cure before Moira dies of the disease.

Shaw leads the X-Men to the Hong Kong branch of Fujikawa Enterprises, a weapons company that used to be merged with Tony Stark. At the same time, Cannonball has infiltrated the lab, but he is stopped by a mysterious bald man. The X-Men and Shang-Chi break into the offices only to find that the mastermind behind this plot is the Kingpin.

How It Was: This issue opens up with some great action. Although these villains are pretty one-dimensional, they have some great designs and Pacheco’s art demonstrates that their powers make them an impressive threat. The art just carries the action phenomenonally.

Poor Shang-Chi still has nothing to do in this story except admire the X-Men and listen to people like Shaw as they continue to bring up his father and the Elixir Vitae. Cannonball gets to go off on a mission, but then gets captured by a powerless super villain, further showing that the X-offices don’t know how to handle the character. And as for the reveal of the Kingpin, I can’t say it’s really that interesting. Sure you don’t see it coming, because at this point it could be anyone in the Marvel Universe, but he’s not really a character that anybody believes could be a threat to the X-Men, and he doesn’t really have anything to do with them.

Really, this issue should be taking more time to acknowledge Sebastian Shaw’s return, since he was supposed to be dead. I guess he made an appearance in X-Man earlier, but he’s a more significant bad guy to the X-Men, and the Kingpin seems redundant in a story with Shaw. After all, how many rich, manipulative villains with vast criminal networks do you need in one story?

The story does feel like it’s building its pace here, even if a lot of the exposition about the Elixir Vitae is repeated from last issue. The action in the beginning is well rendered and the story gets to where it needs to by the end. With all the mentioning of the Legacy Virus and its victims, it would’ve been nice if the subplot had picked up after this story. Instead, it gets forgotten for Operation Zero Tolerance, and it isn’t picked up again for years. Really though, that’s more of a problem with next issue.

B+

X-Men #62

X-Men #62
Writing: Scott Lobdell and Ben Raab
Art: Carlos Pacheco

What Went Down: We begin outside of the Scottish home of British Secret Service agent Clive Reston. Shang-Chi—The Master of Kung-Fu has been summoned by his former handler, but he doesn’t know what for. Outside the door, an army of ninjas belonging to the order of his deceased father attacks Shang-Chi. Shang holds his own until the ninjas pull out guns. Luckily for him, Wolverine shows up to lend a hand. Because this is a super hero comic book, Shang-Chi has to mistake Logan for an enemy and attack him, but Wolverine is pretty quick to put Shang in his place. Storm prevents him from going too far.

Later, after being introduced to the X-Men, Shang-Chi thinks about how interesting they are. He senses Jean and Cyclops observing him and flings a statue at them. Clive Reston shows up to deliver the exposition to Shang and the X-Men. The death of Shang-Chi’s father left a power vacuum in China that is being filled by the Hellfire Club. The club is seeking to recreate the Elixir Vitae, a potion Shang-Chi’s father tried to use to live forever. It is believed by Sebastian Shaw that the elixir might be used to cure the Legacy Virus, and in turn the Inner Circle would use that fact to exploit people and make billions.

In another part of Hong Kong, a mysterious villain contemplates how soon the British territorial claim will expire on the city. One of his minions tells him that the heroes are on their way. Downtown, the heroes are driving down the crowded streets in cars, or maybe they’re parked…I can’t really tell. Anyways, one of the cars the X-Men are using is attacked. Jean puts up a teke shield just in time for the team to confront a group of four cyborg ninjas (not to be confused with the Cyburai).

How It Was: Alright, X-Men finally has a regular penciller again. Carlos Pacheco comes on board, and even though this isn’t the most auspicious story to debut on, he really makes the most of it. His opening pages of a moonlit mansion on the water are just gorgeous and his action sequences featuring the ninjas are nicely posed and organized. My one complaint would be his version of Troll Wolverine, but then again I’ve never liked anyone’s version of Troll Wolverine; Pacheco’s pretty much looks like Sabretooth with Wolverine’s haircut and extra arm hair. It’s a very pretty looking story, though.

As for what’s actually going on, poor Scott Lobdell is being stretched really thin with writing duties for three X-books. Ben Raab is brought in to do dialogue, and while it’s adequate, it definitely doesn’t have that Lobdell touch. Most of it is unnecessary internal exposition from Shang-Chi as he shares his impressions on every single detail of the story. There is also a particularly wordy lecture from the shadowy villain about the history of Hong Kong and China that is fit into a single panel.

Looking past the dialog, this story is just odd. Some readers might’ve gotten excited by the idea that the Legacy plotline was about to be furthered… it’s not, so don’t get your hopes up. What’s really strange is the inclusion of Shang-Chi, a character that hasn’t had any real success since the seventies and early eighties. If Marvel’s idea was to test the waters to see if readers wanted a Shang-Chi solo title, surely they could’ve done better than this; the Master of Kung-Fu doesn’t even get to look that great since Wolverine drops him in two panels. Plus Shang-Chi just doesn’t have a lot to do here; he gets to gush internally about how awesome the X-Men are and then takes their presence as a threat and attacks them. His history is used as a vague justification for the story, but really Shang-Chi himself isn’t needed for this story, since Clive Reston could’ve just filled the X-Men in himself, being one of Wolverine’s numerous old war buddies. In case you’re wondering why Shang’s father isn’t mentioned by name, that’s because the character’s name was Fu Manchu (the Yellow Claw) and he was a vaguely racist Chinese stereotype from the seventies. Definitely not a character to bring up in the politically correct era of the 90s.

This is just all set up. It introduces us to one of the most random guest stars in any X-book, and ties some obscure twenty-year-old stories together as a potential plot thread to the Legacy Virus. Even most of the X-Men are basically standing around this issue, waiting for some action to happen. Still, it’s not blatantly bad, just a little slow and a bit out of left field.

B-

Generation X #27

Generation X #27
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Chris Bachalo

What Went Down: Let’s catch up with the captive Jubilee in Generation X. Bastion presents a battered visor to Jubilee in hopes of convincing her that Cyclops has been killed. Jubilee refuses to believe him, so Bastion leaves the cell.

Actually, the “cell” that Jubilee is locked in is a holographic projection in the middle of Bastion’s ready room. Because Jubilee has weaker psychic defenses than Professor X, Bastion is trying to make the girl emotional to weaken those defenses and discover the secrets of the X-Men. Daria, Bastion’s assistant, is disturbed by these methods and sympathetic towards Jubilee.

On the display screens, Bastion observes Jubilee’s thoughts. She flashes back to a scene in a funeral parlor just after Illyana Rasputin’s funeral. Cyclops comes over to comfort Jubilee, and explains that Wolverine was so emotional because of the recent death of his girlfriend Mariko, and because it reminded him of his foster daughter Amiko. Jubilee tells Scott that she is surprised to be having a normal conversation with the leader of the X-Men.

In the barn of the Massachusetts Academy (why is there a barn?), Artie and Leech are picking pieces of moss off of each other while Emma Frost tries scanning Banshee’s mind for the whereabouts of their students. Banshee’s cousin Black Tom has just attacked the school and covered it in plant life, so Emma is seeing if Tom mentioned anything to Banshee that might help. Surprisingly, Sean’s mind is on a flashback from Giant-Sized X-Men #1, the issue where he joined the X-Men. This gets Banshee excited as he realizes where the students must be.

Back at Bastion’s base, Jubilee spills the food that Bastion has offered her. He mentions that Bishop did the same thing before he killed him. Jubilee refuses to believe the villain, but she still flashes back to X-Men #8, where Bishop first met her and identified her as the last X-Man (even though the foot note is mislabeled Uncanny #29). Bastion decides to change tactics and shows her a projection of Wolverine being tortured by electricity. This causes Jubilee to despair until the fake Wolverine begs for help, proving to Jubilee that it isn’t real. Jubilee then goes on a rant, kicking Bastion and taunting him. Bastion’s mental defenses fail, showing Daria glimpses of his origin: a mechanical arm being covered in pink synthetic material, and Bastion emerging saying “At last.” Bastion knocks Jubilee over and leaves, frustrated. When Daria apologizes for what she saw, Bastion claims it wasn’t real. Then he tells her that they are going to capture the X-Men in Hong Kong. In her cell, Jubilee smiles despite her bloody nose.

What Else What Down: There is also a one page backup story by Jim Mahfood where Jubilee pretends to be on a cooking show and makes pancakes for Skin and her teammates.

How It Was: It’s pretty impressive that at this point in X-History poor Scott Lobdell was writing both X-Men books and Generation X. Man that guy must have been tired. Regardless, this is a pretty solid issue that shows Jubilee in a great light. Putting the light-hearted girl in an environment of physical and emotional abuse is a great way of creating drama, and Lobdell does a great job of depicting the conflict between Bastion and Jubes. Even though she’s completely trapped and restrained, Jubilee is still able to get the best of Bastion, despite all the technology and resources at his disposal. And the flashbacks Jubilee has of the X-Men are great touches, even though the scene from Illyana’s funeral doesn’t seem in continuity, although I guess the X-Men could’ve had a smaller ceremony before they had the big outdoor one in Uncanny #304.

Since I was never a regular reader of Generation X, I can’t say much for the other subplot scenes. It’s obvious that a lot of chaos is going down since Sean and Emma have lost the students, and nobody even knows that Bastion has Jubilee. But really the focus is squarely on Jubilee here.

Chris Bachalo’s art is pretty phenomenal. It manages to be cartoony and exaggerated while still conveying a wealth of tension and emotion. Whether it’s the page spread of Jubilee staring at the battered visor, or the impassive expression on Bastion’s face, the story flows really well for a narrative contained primarily to a small, dark room. Bachalo’s art does make Jubilee look a little younger than readers are used to seeing her as, but I think this enhances the story and makes you sympathize with her even more; it actually heightens both her innocence and Bastion’s complete lack of humanity.

This is a pretty great issue. It has a narrow focus, which works well to flesh out the two main characters. If you’re going to go to the trouble of reading the Operation Zero Tolerance crossover, you should hunt down this issue because it makes for good set up, and it’s better than ninety percent of the issues in the actual crossover anyways. Lobdell always seems to win when he focuses on characters and emotions, and this is just another example of that phenomenon. As for the backup, it’s really absurd and silly, but the art is fantastic. It’s a very odd tone shift after such a serious and tense story, but maybe the idea was to end the book on a high note; depending on your mood it will either put a smile on your face or leave you scratching your head.

B+

Uncanny X-Men Annual '97

Uncanny X-Men Annual ‘97
Writing: Jorge Gonzalez
Art: Duncan Rouleau

What Went Down: Most of the setup for this story occurs in the Storm mini-series that I’ve not read. Storm, Cyclops, Jean, and Cannonball are in an African Village protecting the Gene Nationals, aka the remnants of the Morlocks, from Humanity’s Last Stand, an anti-mutant group armed with battle suits known as Razors. As the fight goes on, a mutant named Boost notices that Cannonball is wearing out, so he jumps inside Cannonball and uses his powers to enhance Sam’s. Boost’s girlfriend, a mutant lizard woman named Tether, is adamant that they kill the fleeing Razors, but Storm insists that they stay and look after their wounded.

We’re introduced to D’Gard, Storm’s interim leader who is a mutant empath. Since he can sense people’s feelings and emotions, it was decided he would be the best to follow the tribe’s wishes. Also, the reason that Gene Nation is in the middle of an African desert is that Storm deemed it so at the end of her mini-series; she thought it would be best since the Gene Nationals were brought up in the harsh conditions of Mikhail Rasputin’s “king of the hill” style society that they would be better off in a harsh African desert upon rescuing.

Tether accuses Storm of being a woeful leader, and she has a point since the village’s transmission tower has been down for over a month due to attacks from HLS, and Storm didn’t happen to notice until now. Storm makes an excuse that the X-Men have been busy and apologizes, but that is somehow not good enough for Tether. Storm explains that she exiled the mutants in Africa in the hopes that they would escape the bigotry that plagues the civilized world.

As night falls on the village, the X-Men prepare to sleep when Havok and his Brotherhood show up, consisting of the Dark Beast and Fatale. Cyclops immediately confronts his brother, asking what he is doing with the evil McCoy; Havok counters that the X-Men allowed Sabretooth to join and brings up Onslaught as well. Scott is still mad that Havok threw him out of a plane in Uncanny #339.

Havok offers the Gene Nationals a warning and protection. Dark Beast contemplates his inevitable betrayal of Havok while the members of Gene Nation consider Havok’s offer. Storm decides to set up a temporary truce between the two mutant teams.

At the base of Humanity’s Last Stand, we get to see the conflict from their perspective. They blame Gene Nation for the death of Graydon Creed and the series of murders that members of Gene Nation committed back in Uncanny #323. One of the Razor pilots even had a sister that died in the nightclub.

The battle begins; Beast breaks off with Jean Grey to find a more technical solution to their problem, while Cannonball saves Fatale. Some Razors cause a rockslide that buries a number of mutants, so Storm leads a group in rescuing them. D’gard can sense her fear from claustrophobia, and is impressed that she is able to conquer it to help their people. A group of four Razors breaks off to attack the shelters of the injured mutants; Cannonball and Boost try to stop them, but they are too late. Havok uses this as proof that tougher methods are needed to deal with the humans.

Nearby, Jean is using a teke shield to protect Evil Beast as he finds the emergency safeguards in one of the downed Razors. Using this, he is able to trigger the emergency protocols in all of the other suits, causing them to disengage. Storm uses the mutant Boost to amplify her powers and create an enormous sandstorm to wipe out all the retreating battlesuits.

After the battle, all the humans are taken prisoner. Tether and some of the others want to execute the humans who killed the injured mutants. Havok steps up to do it, but Cyclops confronts him and they get into a fight. Cyclops brings up how Havok almost killed him, and Alex brushes it off as “not being in his right mind” at the time. The brothers get into a fistfight, so Dark Beast takes the opportunity to construct a huge gun and execute all of the humans himself. Only he actually has Fatale teleport them all away at the last second so it would look like Beast killed them all. He is excited to have more guinea pigs for his experiments. Havok is as surprised as Cyclops that this occurs.

Boost and Tether decide to leave Africa with the Brotherhood, only they make it clear that they’re not joining, they just need Fatale to help them teleport away. D’gard announces that Storm no longer has claim to leadership, and that he will be the new leader of Gene Nation. Storm is saddened, but agrees it is for the best. Jean comforts Storm as they prepare to leave.

How It Was: This is surprisingly good for an annual, especially for this period in X-History. Not only does the story have actual stakes, but it also picks up on story details in other X-books (X-Factor, the Storm mini-series, last year’s annuals) to give a sense of cohesion in the wider X-Universe. I’ve never heard of Jorge Gonzalez before, but he has a fantastic handle on the characters, and he creates some better than average minor characters in Boost and Tether.

What Gonzalez does that makes the story work perfectly is that he presents the conflict from all sides, and neither side has the perfect answer. Storm wants to protect the village, but due to her commitments to the X-Men, and her terrible shortsightedness, she doesn’t have a practical answer. Havok thinks they should take the battle to HLS, but that will just escalate things. Tether and Boost, as the POV characters for the Gene Nation, represent how conflicted the group is about its purpose and identity, as well as seeing their reactions to various attrocities. Even the humans get a page to justify their motives, by using the events of Uncanny #323 as a validation for why they blame the mutants, since those terrorists did identify themselves as Gene Nation. D’gard offers a great point of view as well, as he is constantly analyzing the situation, trying to find a resolution that will work best for everybody. It’s all very well handled.

I only have two complaints. One is a minor nerdy nitpick: this is the team that regularly appears in X-Men during this time, and they’re in an Uncanny X-Men Annual. That just bothers me a little. The second is that Rouleau’s art isn’t really working for me. It’s so super exaggerated with lots of weird proportions and poses. It does have its moments, but more often than not it just looks odd to me. More importantly, there are moments, such as the landslide, where the frame is focused on Storm fighting bad guys when it should be focused on…well, the landslide. There are one or two other moments as well where the frame is of a character saying “Hey look at that thing over there,” when really the panel should just be showing the event. Plus we never get a feel for the scale of the battle, since the art pretty much focuses on the characters we’re familiar with. That’s an understandable decision, but it would be nice to have a few more establishing shots just to show off what a huge war this is supposed to be.

Overall, this is a pleasant surprise that feels less like filler than the actual stories running in X-Men and Uncanny around the same time. It’s the X-Men actually fighting for something, dealing with the themes of the series, and not always winning in the end. I would have loved to see this as a three or four issue arc as opposed to the Uncanny space farce, the X-Men meeting Shang-Chi in Hong Kong, or the entirety of Operation Zero Tolerance. Still, at least we got this much, and it works as a great one and done story as well as a great epilogue to the Storm mini.

A

Uncanny X-Men #345

Uncanny X-Men #345
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira and Melvin Rubi

What Went Down: This issue is broken into two parts, conveniently dividing up where the artists shift. The first part begins with Sister Maria, the nun who discovered Joseph, running from her crashed car. Get this…she is being chased by a cyborg gorilla. No, really. The Sister hits the gorilla with a rock, but it continues to come after her, asking about the man she nursed to health. Just as the gorilla is about to get her, two giant slugs appear and eat through the bad guy’s chest. The mutant Maggott shows up and asks about her friend Joseph.

On Chandrila, Lilandra looks out over her ruined planet and feels sad. She wonders if this is some kind of karmic payback for her war with the Kree in the Avengers books. She thinks of Charles Xavier, and is thankful that his X-Men were able to save her Empire.

Later that night, the Shi’ar hold a banquet in honor of the dead. Joseph finds the party vulgar, but Rogue explains that different people have different ways of moving on. Rogue worries that Joseph might be turning back into Magneto, so she promises to tell him everything about the man he used to be. Elsewhere, Gambit is outside digging graves for the dead Shi’ar. The whole time he keeps apologizing for something he did when he was younger.

Back at the banquet, Beast asks Trish if she wants to get back together. Trish worries that their relationship will have the same problems it always does, but when she returns to her room, she realizes she is in love with him nonetheless.

The next day the X-Men and Trish board a Shi’ar vessel that will take them back to Earth. Lilandra demonstrates her gratitude to the X-Men by leaving one of their greatest enemies, Deathbird, in charge of the trip.

Part 2 starts with Bishop reading up on Shi’ar history. Deathbird surprises him in her evening robe, and he tries to ask her questions about her history. Deathbird is impressed that he could read the texts because they are in Shi’ar, but she dismisses the texts as a sordid manufactured history designed to make her an outcast. Bishop mentions that her true name was banned from the language when she throws the pad into the fire. Bishop tells her that she shouldn’t forget her past if she doesn’t want to repeat it.

Their argument is interrupted by a “swoosh” noise. Going to the cockpit, the X-Men discover that a giant warship is passing them at twice their speed on the way to Earth. As the X-Men’s ship tries to make it to the stargate, it is caught in the larger ship’s wake and begins to break up.

How It Was: Even though it wasn’t a major crossover, Lobdell does another—actually his last—quiet, contemplative character issue. It’s not his best, but it still manages some great material for Bishop and Deathbird, Lilandra, and Joseph and Rogue. Beast and Trish’s scene has me confused because I was under the impression that they were already back together, hence the dinner date on Christmas Eve in Uncanny #341. As for Gambit, remember all that hemming and hawing over Gambit working for Sinister back in X-Men #45…almost two years prior to this point. Yeah, well Lobdell is finally getting around to it, but it’s still six issues away.

Then there is the surreal opening where Sister Maria is being chased by and evil robo-monkey. This scene almost defies explanation, and I don’t think it serves any other purpose than introducing Maggott and setting up that he’s looking for Magneto. Maggott is not too interesting a character, at least not until Joe Kelly and Steven Seagle get their collective writing hands on him and turn him into a really amusing character to have around.

The end of the issue is quite jarring and the art isn’t very clear on what the heck is happening. It looks like the big ship makes it to the stargate first, then the X-Men talk about the gate being down, then their ship starts to break up on the last page. I’m not sure if they were attacked or if it has something to do with the gate, but the art is not helping here. Also, Beast looks a little like a donkey in the second part of the story… just saying. And it’s sort of disappointing that Joe Mad can only get half an issue done this month, although he does have a double sized issue #350 coming up.

This issue is nothing to write home about. It introduces a character that most people don’t remember, and it wraps up a space story that was pretty forgettable. Yes we have the Gambit revelation on the horizon, but other than that this book doesn’t have a lot going for it at this point.

C+

Uncanny X-Men #344

Uncanny X-Men #344
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Melvin Rubi

What Went Down: Gambit is narrating this time around, and we enter on a badly beaten and tortured Empress Lilandra being held captive by the Phalanx while her servants are being killed and assimilated. The X-Men watch in the shadows as they finalize their plan. Deathbird explains that the only reason Lilandra would surrender would be if the Phalanx had infiltrated the Shi’ar nurseries, where their offspring are held. Rogue, who has become de facto leader, sends Deathbird and Bishop to protect the nurseries. Deathbird thanks all of them.

On Earth, Senator Kelly and Henry Peter Gyrich meet in the Hulkbuster base that now houses Zero Tolerance. Kelly discusses his hesitancy to trust Bastion, even though Kelly himself has lobbied for years about the importance of safeguarding humans from mutants. Bastion apparently also has a number of people in the government sympathetic to his cause, and Kelly blames himself for blazing a trail that might end in genocide.

Bishop and Deathbird make it to the Shi’ar nest. Bishop comments on how admirable it is that Deathbird would seek to protect the innocent, and Deathbird explains that even though she thinks she should rule, she still cares about her people. Bishop explains his history to Deathbird. Then she falls over due to her previous injuries. Bishop worries that she has been attacked, but the injuries are hours old—even though last issue said it had been a week since they found her. Still, Deathbird insists on standing and fighting, even if she is going to bleed to death, impressing Bishop.

Back with the main group, Joseph is overwhelmed with grief for the slaughtered Shi’ar. Even though he can’t remember his past, he starts to have flashbacks of the Nazi concentration camps that he was a prisoner in. Gambit tries to talk to him and tells him to turn his emotions off for now, so Beast’s plan can work. While Joseph continues to watch the slaughter, Beast explains that he is rigging the Shi’ar computer to produce a frequency to separate the technological and organic aspects of the Phalanx.

Beast needs five more minutes to complete his machine, but Joseph can’t take it and attacks the Phalanx. The X-Men have no choice but to back him up while Beast finishes. Joseph saves Lilandra, and remembers that once he had vowed to never again let such atrocities occur. Meanwhile, Bishop and Deathbird fight off more aliens and comment on how impressive thy each are. As the Phalanx start to counter the X-Men’s powers, Beast throws the switch. Just when the X-Men are about to be overwhelmed, all of the Phalanx start to die. Trish Tilby cheers that they won against such impossible odds, but Gambit, worried about Joseph potentially turning evil again, claims that it doesn’t feel like a victory.

How It Was: After setting up impossible odds and a potentially epic intergalactic war to be fought, Lobdell has the Beast build a machine that just kills all the bad guys automatically. That is what I would call the definition of anti-climactic. At the very least you could have the X-Men penetrate a base to find some core or prime Phalanx that needs to be destroyed, but no, Beast just flips a switch and the X-Men win. Couldn’t the supposedly more advanced Shi’ar with their interstellar space travel and superior technology figure this out on their own?

Joseph’s reaction to the Phalanx atrocities makes up for the ending a little bit. Up until now, Joseph has been squarely on the side of the X-Men. He may’ve felt guilty about his past, but it was always clear that he was trying to be an X-Man. Here we see the old Magneto resurface, and it is a welcome sight. The tease that Joseph may yet become Magneto again is a good one, even though it is strange that Gambit is the only one who acknowledges it. However, it is annoying that Joseph has to attack the bad guys with five minutes to spare. It feels like an artificial conflict because nothing the X-Men do really matters, other than the Beast. There’s no tension at all because we all know how it’s going to end.

The Bishop/Deathbird sequences are a little more heavy-handed then they were last issue, but I still think it’s a good match, even if Lobdell has to retcon Deathbird’s past and motivations just a bit. The ending is just weird with Trish Tilby doing cheerleader poses and laughing at the victory while everyone else looks dour and somber about the thousands of dead Shi’ar; for a reporter, she is godawful at reading the climate of a room and reacting with appropriate social responses.

Joe Mad continues his sketchy grasp on deadlines as Melvin Rubi is brought in, as well as four different inkers. The art’s okay, except some of the expressions and poses aren’t really appropriate for the scenes, such as the aforementioned Trish Tilby cheer. Conversely, the two-page spread of the Imperial hall being attacked looks fantastic, as does the Shi’ar nursery.

This is a hugely underwhelming end to a story that didn’t even have a lot to do with the X-Men. The threat that was initially sold to the readers involved the fate of the universe, but it was all undone by a machine programmed by the Beast. Other than a very few moments for the X-Men, and the beginnings of the Bishop/Deathbird romance, this plot doesn’t even involve the X-Men all that much, and Trish Tilby has absolutely nothing to do. This definitely doesn’t stand up to X-Men space operas like the original Phoenix Saga, or any of the stories with the Starjammers. This just doesn’t have that many fun or interesting ideas, and the villains are just dull and one-dimensional. Definitely not what I’d call a classic.

D+

Uncanny X-Men #343

Uncanny X-Men #343
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down: Through narration boxes, the Beast explains that the X-Men have been in space for about a week, and Deathbird has been in a coma within one of the ship’s med-stations. Deathbird wakes up while Beast and Bishop are discussing her survival. Bishop accuses her of somehow being responsible for her ship’s massacre, which earns him a slap from the villain. Gambit and Joseph show up after their search for more survivors. Deathbird steals Bishop’s gun and shoots Joseph and Gambit… only they were actually members of the Phalanx disguised as the X-Men. Bishop helps finish them off, and Deathbird explains that humans have a specific smell that Shi’ar can detect.

Below in the ship, Gambit and Joseph have been taken captive by the new and improved black Phalanx, in case you couldn’t tell from the cover. Rogue attacks the group, but she is slowly overwhelmed. Just as she is about to be absorbed by the Phalanx, she proclaims her love for Gambit. Gambit is behind her, rescues her, and blows up the remaining Phalanx. While Rogue was being assimilated, she caught a glimpse of Chandilar, homeworld of the Shi’ar; she also learned the Phalanx’s plot, which includes taking over Earth.

Speaking of Earth, Bastion is continuing his preparations for Operation: Zero Tolerance. We see that he has recently captured Jubilee in Generation X #25 and plans on interrogating/torturing her.

Meanwhile, the X-Men plan to get on Chandilar by tricking the Phalanx into attacking their ship and blowing it up while they float to a mining planet in an escape pod among the debris. Deathbird is quite rude to Bishop, threatening his life as he secures her in the pod. After the Phalanx blow up the ship, Joseph navigates the pod through the metal that Beast welded to the alien vehicle. The mining planet turns out to be one of Deathbird’s old bases. Many of the X-Men voice their suspicions about Deathbird’s loyalties as they all get on a transporter to save Chandilar and the Shi’ar.

How It Was: This is a definite step back up storywise, although not quite to the heights of #341. The story does have some great moments; the revelation of the Phalanx as X-Men imposters works rather well, despite the fact that it is ruined on the cover. And I have to say that I genuinely like the Deathbird/Bishop relationship, even if it is only in its beginning stages here. It’s a nice idea to have Bishop find a kindred spirit in a hardened warrior with a harsher code of ethics than the X-Men are used to, just as he was when he started on the team. Rogue’s fight with the Phalanx is also particularly brutal; it’s impressive to see her tearing off limbs and fighting all out, even if her proclamation of love feels a little forced.

Where the issue fails is that in spite of their shiny black makeover, the Phalanx are still as dull as they were the last time they appeared in this title. And after the very first sequence, they abandon any of the shapeshifting subterfuge for the dull assimilation and compensation of powers. Having the villains able to negate mutant powers seems unnecessary since they already outnumber the heroes by quite a bit. It also never made sense how the aliens had the ability to stop powers, but not absorb them.

Joe Mad is drawing some very impressive spaceships, stellar bodies, and space debris. The art is really the highlight, despite the stupid costume designs. Even with the art, this is still just a slow middle chapter with not much for the characters to do. While very cool looking, the villains just aren’t compelling at all, and the threat just doesn’t seem big enough.

C