X-Men #74

X-Men #74
Writing: Joe Kelly

Art: Carlos Pacheco

What Went Down:  Marrow is in the Morlock tunnels with a suffering Calisto, praying for Calisto to be saved.  We see that she is praying to a handmade doll of Archangel, calling him the one who was reborn. Coincidentally, Archangel is flying high over New York, enjoying the feeling of flying with his organic wings.  He has decided that he must confront his personal demons, which involves revisiting the Morlock tunnels…the place where he first lost his natural wings.

At Harry’s Hideaway, Wolverine is talking to the proprietor and reading the paper about the mysterious murders and mutilations in the city.  At the mansion, Beast and Cecilia are testing Maggott’s powers while he hams it up.  Maggott throws a snowball at Cecilia, causing Beast to laugh, so Cecilia tackles Beast.  Maggott notices that Eany and Meany, his slugs, have disappeared. 

Down in the sewers, Marrow goes off for fresh water while Archangel relives his memories of the Morlock Massacre.  He crashes in the sewer, and he is confronted by the Abomination.  Marrow observes this from far away.

Wolverine examines a crime scene, using fake credentials to gain access.  Below, Archangel knows he is outmatched by Abomination, so he tries to get away.  Marrow realizes he is going the wrong way, and runs off to help him.  In her weakened state, someone approaches Calisto with a needle.  Calisto hallucinates that it is Colossus, who she used to share a relationship with; the stranger notes it is strange that she sees Colossus, but plays along.

Marrow confronts Abomination to try to buy Archangel time to escape.  Warren feels ashamed that a young girl is coming to his rescue, so he makes a stand to save Marrow.  Back at Xavier’s, Maggott finds his slugs, but finds evidence that they may’ve murdered someone.

Abomination tries to disillusion Marrow by showing Warren how ugly she is.  Abomination lashes out and tries to explain that they will never be appreciated by the surface world.  Marrow digs out some knives and throws them at Abomination’s eyes. 

Wolverine is running back to the mansion after smelling Maggott’s slugs at the crime scene.  Suddenly, he is attacked from behind.  Abomination pulls out the knives and debates with Archangel whether Marrow can ever be accepted on the surface.  Abomination walks off, warning Marrow that she’ll be back.  Marrow reveals her real name of Sarah to Warren, and Warren says he’ll put in a good word for her to the X-Men.  Archangel notices that her knives are old flechettes from when he had metal wings, but Marrow disappears before he can question her.  Maggott finds Wolverine in the snow covered in blood and thinks that his slugs are responsible.

How It Was:  This is a bit of a random one, with a ton of coincidences driving it, but it’s actually a fun little shot of Warren and Sarah’s personalities.  This is one of the better stories to feature Archangel; he hasn’t had much to do in any X-Men stories in a while.  Kelly wisely ejects the horrible idea that Warren thinks his life is super difficult, instead choosing to focus on his more traumatic and sympathetic experiences.  Whether intentional or not, this serves as an excellent revisit of the previous Morlock story with Archangel, where he froze up and cried for the whole story.  Kelly sets this up as something that Warren has to do in response to all of the changes that have occurred in his life; he hasn’t really had to time to process anything, and he has to show himself that he can take charge of his own destiny.

As for Marrow, this is a strange turn to have her crush on/worship Archangel, but Kelly wisely focuses mostly on the power of the imagery.  The idea that as a child Marrow wanted something to believe in is a solid direction that isn’t really exploited enough here; Marrow comes off as a little out-of-character after having rejected so much from the material world.  It’s a shame that the story chooses to ignore Marrow’s past life as a terrorist because I think that might make for a more interesting conflict.  Still, it’s nice to see that the writers are actually doing something with her and not letting her fade to the background.

As for the plot, it’s quite odd that Marrow wouldn’t seek help from the X-Men if Calisto was actually dying.  Also, I’m unfamiliar with the Abomination having anything to do with the Morlocks before this, so his appearance seems out of the ordinary.  Kelly has clearly set up the themes of darkness and redemption, but in dealing with both characters’ histories, it’s strange that they’d confront an antagonist that has so little to do with both of them.  Plus his motivations are a little off.  First he wants to kill both of them, and then it becomes a debate over whether Marrow can be accepted on the surface. Yes the angel and devil parallels are not lost on me, yet it feels a little over done.  I think this might’ve worked better if Marrow had just attacked Archangel for trespassing, with the two eventually coming to an understanding over their dark histories and mutual respect.  The stuff with Marrow’s hero worship and the Abomination doesn’t quite fit.

As for the subplot with Calisto, this gets forgotten after X-Men #79, so don’t get your hopes up.  It was supposed to lead into a story about the Dark Beast and his connections to the Morlocks, which might’ve been interesting, but we’ll never know.

The art is pretty fantastic; Pacheco brings his A game and does a great job contrasting the bright snow-filled sky with the dark, oppressive sewers.  In a story where so much of it is dependent on atmosphere, Pacheco sells us on the quiet desperation of Marrow taking care of Calisto, or the internal struggle between Archangel and his memories. The only flaw, although it’s a pretty big one, is the final page.  It’s supposed to be a big reveal that Maggott’s slugs have potentially mutilated Wolverine, but due to the Comics Code, we only get Wolverine with a scar on his chest screaming.  It doesn’t really convey the horror that Maggott is feeling; it looks more like Maggott walked in on him in his underwear.

This is probably the best Archangel story of the nineties, which isn’t saying a lot, but still it’s pretty good.  I question the structure of the story, but I really like where it takes the characters, and I like the overwhelming odds, even though the threat just sort of peters out and walks away.  It’s still worth a look.

 B-

Uncanny X-Men #350

Uncanny X-Men #350

Writing: Steve Seagle

Art: Joe Madureira and Andy Smith

What Went Down:  On his way to his trial, Gambit reminisces about meeting Sinister prior to his final job for the villain.  Gambit tells Sinister he’s done working for him, after assembling a group of villains.  Sinister insists he needs one last job and throws Gambit a tiny vial for his payment.  In present day Antarctica, Spat and Grovel are piloting a snowmobile to an unknown location.  The snowmobile is taken over by an unknown source and disappears.

Elsewhere, Beast is cobbling together a transport for the group to go after Gambit with.  Joseph explains that he has used his powers to reconfigure some of the robots’ clothes from the last story, but this might just be an excuse to cover up for the artist drawing the wrong costumes.

In Manhattan, Psylocke has knocked Maggott out and is examining him while Angel fights his two slugs.  Betsy begins to do her shadow teleport because part of Maggott is “missing” and something in him “attracts” her.  Warren and the slugs hurry into the portal to follow her.

In his cell, a mysterious voice chastises Gambit for his crimes.  Gambit assumes it is Sinister.  Meanwhile, the X-Men have pieced together a working transport.  The team pulls over when Joseph starts to feel ill.  Outside, Rogue finds one of Gambit’s playing cards, and Joseph raises a giant citadel from the snow. 

After a one page interlude where Xavier has a nightmare about different teams of X-Men asking where he is, the X-Men journey into the castle.  They split up to look for Gambit, even though Joseph is about to fall over from illness.

Coincidentally, Psylocke has also managed to teleport to the very same citadel; for some reason Angel and Maggott appear in different parts of the building.  Warren discovers a noose, and Maggott runs into Joseph.  Joseph recognizes Maggott, although he doesn’t know from where.  Then Joseph is knocked out by a mystery person, whom Maggott recognizes.  Beast, Trish, Psylocke, and Angel are all captured by the mystery person as well. 

Rogue finds Gambit in a cell.  She tries to convince him to leave, but he refuses.  A person dressed like Erik the Red appears with Spat and Grovel, and they take down Rogue. 

On a plane over Pennsylvania, the other team of X-Men is returning home from New Mexico after surviving Operation Zero Tolerance.  Jean is trying to help Cyclops, who has a bomb in his stomach.  Cannonball contemplates how out of place he feels among such close friends, and Jubilee warns him about thinking too hard.

Erik the Red and his robot assistant Ferris stand before the captured X-Men.  Angel is announced to be Gambit’s defender while the rest of the X-Men make up the jury.  Warren notes that Erik the Red isn’t a person, but a disguise that different characters have used over the years, like Cyclops and a Shi’ar agent.  Some the other X-Men wonder if it might be Joseph, but Erik drags the badly beaten Joseph out for them all to see. 

Gambit tells the first part of his story; he admits to working for Sinister and not telling the team.  Naturally the team is less than thrilled by this.  All of a sudden Psylocke recalls some memories of Gambit’s that she had gleamed from his mind waaaayy back in Uncanny X-Men #324, but conveniently forgotten about until this very moment.  She tells the X-Men that Gambit assembled Mr. Sinister’s Marauders right before the Morlock Massacre.  Archangel is angered by this because he lost his wings during that event.

Then Erik commands Rogue to kiss Gambit and reveal the rest of his secrets.  Rogue doesn’t want to, but she is forced.  Gambit showed the Marauders the way to the Morlock tunnels, not realizing that they were going to kill all the Morlocks.  Once he figured out their goal, Gambit tried to stop them, but he was wounded by Sabretooth.  Injured, he managed to save one Morlock child, who later turns out to be Marrow. 

After kissing Gambit, Rogue absorbs his powers and is able to free herself and the other X-Men.  They beat on Erik the Red until he retreats, collapsing the hideout in the process.  Rogue grabs Gambit while the other X-Men escape through Psylocke’s teleportation.  Gambit thinks that Rogue has decided to forgive him, but instead she is disgusted by what she has learned.  She decides to leave him stranded in Antarctica because she can’t stand to be around him.

In an escape craft, the robot Ferris attends to Erik the Red.  Erik removes his disguise, revealing himself to be Magneto, the Master of Magnetism. 

How It Was: Finally, we come to it.  Gambit’s big secret revealed.  Was it worth the wait?  Well, that’s hard to say, but at least it’s over and done.  There are quite a few surprises in this book, such as the real Magneto, but the execution leaves a little to be desired.

The fact is that there are some wonky plot mechanics going on here.  Psylocke’s weird teleporting power ends up sending her, Maggott, and Archangel to the citadel for absolutely no reason other than plot convenience.  Yes he was looking for Magneto, but he hadn’t found him yet.  Psylocke’s interest in Maggott is completely forgotten after this issue, so it reads especially strange here.  Psylocke sticks out again when testifying against Gambit.  How could she forget all of this information until this issue, twenth-six issues from the original mind scan?  It’s just such a convoluted way of getting to the point, and there had to have been a simpler way to tell this story, although Steve Seagle did okay with what he inherited.

On top of Psylocke’s strange plot contrived moments, the rest of the X-Men serve no purpose here.  This story could’ve easily been Joseph, Rogue, and Gambit and probably been a lot better for it.  Also, Magneto’s purpose here never plays into any larger stories at all; later he just makes a throwaway comment about how he was trying to sew dissention among the X-Men.  At least Spat and Grovel make their last appearance (as far as I know).

This issue still has some moments.  I like Erik the Red’s grandiose entrance, and I chuckled every time he repeated for the group to be silent. Plus Magneto’s robot is named Ferris (Get it, ferrous.  Ha!). The flashback with Gambit trying to stop the Marauders is a nice little moment, especially since Gambit’s been so moody for the last year or so of issues.

The big moment of the issue, what will make or break it for the reader, is your reaction to Gambit being left behind in Antarctica.  I’m conflicted.  On the one hand it works so well thematically with Rogue doing everything to convince Remy she can forgive him and ultimately not being able to.  Yes it’s a little contradictory since Rogue was a villain before and ruined her fair share of lives, but it’s easy to see why Rogue is upset and why she would feel utterly betrayed, given the circumstances of their recent bit of intimacy.  But then there is the fact that she just leaves him alone, shirtless even, in the middle of Antarctica, where he would surely die.  That’s a really steep punishment, especially coming from an X-Man because they don’t even kill their enemies.  I tend to lean more toward the camp that enjoys the scene.  It’s melodrama, but it builds on the (very few) good parts that have been in previous issues, and it opens up some interesting story potential for Rogue.  Yes, it’s strange that she tries to kill him by stranding him, but that gets written away later, you’ll see.

Joe Mad turns in his last regular art duties, and unfortunately he was unable to finish the whole book.  Yes, it is a double page anniversary issue, but it’s still disappointing.  Paul Smith’s filler is perfectly fine, but it doesn’t match Madureira’s style whatsoever.  Plus, for a double-sized issue, not a lot happens until the very end.  There’s almost no action, and most of the exposition is recapping all the events up until now for potential new readers.  Yes this story is drawn out, and most of the threads are never picked up again, but I once again find myself enjoying the Gambit and Rogue emotional roller coaster.  It’s just too bad more didn’t come from the events of this issue. 

C+

Uncanny X-Men Annual '97

Uncanny X-Men Annual ‘97
Writing: Jorge Gonzalez
Art: Duncan Rouleau

What Went Down: Most of the setup for this story occurs in the Storm mini-series that I’ve not read. Storm, Cyclops, Jean, and Cannonball are in an African Village protecting the Gene Nationals, aka the remnants of the Morlocks, from Humanity’s Last Stand, an anti-mutant group armed with battle suits known as Razors. As the fight goes on, a mutant named Boost notices that Cannonball is wearing out, so he jumps inside Cannonball and uses his powers to enhance Sam’s. Boost’s girlfriend, a mutant lizard woman named Tether, is adamant that they kill the fleeing Razors, but Storm insists that they stay and look after their wounded.

We’re introduced to D’Gard, Storm’s interim leader who is a mutant empath. Since he can sense people’s feelings and emotions, it was decided he would be the best to follow the tribe’s wishes. Also, the reason that Gene Nation is in the middle of an African desert is that Storm deemed it so at the end of her mini-series; she thought it would be best since the Gene Nationals were brought up in the harsh conditions of Mikhail Rasputin’s “king of the hill” style society that they would be better off in a harsh African desert upon rescuing.

Tether accuses Storm of being a woeful leader, and she has a point since the village’s transmission tower has been down for over a month due to attacks from HLS, and Storm didn’t happen to notice until now. Storm makes an excuse that the X-Men have been busy and apologizes, but that is somehow not good enough for Tether. Storm explains that she exiled the mutants in Africa in the hopes that they would escape the bigotry that plagues the civilized world.

As night falls on the village, the X-Men prepare to sleep when Havok and his Brotherhood show up, consisting of the Dark Beast and Fatale. Cyclops immediately confronts his brother, asking what he is doing with the evil McCoy; Havok counters that the X-Men allowed Sabretooth to join and brings up Onslaught as well. Scott is still mad that Havok threw him out of a plane in Uncanny #339.

Havok offers the Gene Nationals a warning and protection. Dark Beast contemplates his inevitable betrayal of Havok while the members of Gene Nation consider Havok’s offer. Storm decides to set up a temporary truce between the two mutant teams.

At the base of Humanity’s Last Stand, we get to see the conflict from their perspective. They blame Gene Nation for the death of Graydon Creed and the series of murders that members of Gene Nation committed back in Uncanny #323. One of the Razor pilots even had a sister that died in the nightclub.

The battle begins; Beast breaks off with Jean Grey to find a more technical solution to their problem, while Cannonball saves Fatale. Some Razors cause a rockslide that buries a number of mutants, so Storm leads a group in rescuing them. D’gard can sense her fear from claustrophobia, and is impressed that she is able to conquer it to help their people. A group of four Razors breaks off to attack the shelters of the injured mutants; Cannonball and Boost try to stop them, but they are too late. Havok uses this as proof that tougher methods are needed to deal with the humans.

Nearby, Jean is using a teke shield to protect Evil Beast as he finds the emergency safeguards in one of the downed Razors. Using this, he is able to trigger the emergency protocols in all of the other suits, causing them to disengage. Storm uses the mutant Boost to amplify her powers and create an enormous sandstorm to wipe out all the retreating battlesuits.

After the battle, all the humans are taken prisoner. Tether and some of the others want to execute the humans who killed the injured mutants. Havok steps up to do it, but Cyclops confronts him and they get into a fight. Cyclops brings up how Havok almost killed him, and Alex brushes it off as “not being in his right mind” at the time. The brothers get into a fistfight, so Dark Beast takes the opportunity to construct a huge gun and execute all of the humans himself. Only he actually has Fatale teleport them all away at the last second so it would look like Beast killed them all. He is excited to have more guinea pigs for his experiments. Havok is as surprised as Cyclops that this occurs.

Boost and Tether decide to leave Africa with the Brotherhood, only they make it clear that they’re not joining, they just need Fatale to help them teleport away. D’gard announces that Storm no longer has claim to leadership, and that he will be the new leader of Gene Nation. Storm is saddened, but agrees it is for the best. Jean comforts Storm as they prepare to leave.

How It Was: This is surprisingly good for an annual, especially for this period in X-History. Not only does the story have actual stakes, but it also picks up on story details in other X-books (X-Factor, the Storm mini-series, last year’s annuals) to give a sense of cohesion in the wider X-Universe. I’ve never heard of Jorge Gonzalez before, but he has a fantastic handle on the characters, and he creates some better than average minor characters in Boost and Tether.

What Gonzalez does that makes the story work perfectly is that he presents the conflict from all sides, and neither side has the perfect answer. Storm wants to protect the village, but due to her commitments to the X-Men, and her terrible shortsightedness, she doesn’t have a practical answer. Havok thinks they should take the battle to HLS, but that will just escalate things. Tether and Boost, as the POV characters for the Gene Nation, represent how conflicted the group is about its purpose and identity, as well as seeing their reactions to various attrocities. Even the humans get a page to justify their motives, by using the events of Uncanny #323 as a validation for why they blame the mutants, since those terrorists did identify themselves as Gene Nation. D’gard offers a great point of view as well, as he is constantly analyzing the situation, trying to find a resolution that will work best for everybody. It’s all very well handled.

I only have two complaints. One is a minor nerdy nitpick: this is the team that regularly appears in X-Men during this time, and they’re in an Uncanny X-Men Annual. That just bothers me a little. The second is that Rouleau’s art isn’t really working for me. It’s so super exaggerated with lots of weird proportions and poses. It does have its moments, but more often than not it just looks odd to me. More importantly, there are moments, such as the landslide, where the frame is focused on Storm fighting bad guys when it should be focused on…well, the landslide. There are one or two other moments as well where the frame is of a character saying “Hey look at that thing over there,” when really the panel should just be showing the event. Plus we never get a feel for the scale of the battle, since the art pretty much focuses on the characters we’re familiar with. That’s an understandable decision, but it would be nice to have a few more establishing shots just to show off what a huge war this is supposed to be.

Overall, this is a pleasant surprise that feels less like filler than the actual stories running in X-Men and Uncanny around the same time. It’s the X-Men actually fighting for something, dealing with the themes of the series, and not always winning in the end. I would have loved to see this as a three or four issue arc as opposed to the Uncanny space farce, the X-Men meeting Shang-Chi in Hong Kong, or the entirety of Operation Zero Tolerance. Still, at least we got this much, and it works as a great one and done story as well as a great epilogue to the Storm mini.

A

X-Men #58

X-Men #58
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Bernard Chang

What Went Down: Storm is down in the sewer visiting the graves of the Morlocks on the anniversary of the Morlock Massacre. She finds a number of candles laid out and wonders who has done this. She’s surprised to see Gambit paying his respects, especially since he wasn’t an X-Man during the event. Also, there appears to be grass in the sewer where the Morlocks are buried. Gambit mistakes Storm for an attacker and throws some charged cards at her, then apologizes. When asked why he is there, Gambit just tells her that he feels badly for them.

Trish Tilby is interviewing Graydon Creed on her news show. Creed takes time to thank Drake Roberts, really Iceman, for his contributions to the campaign. Trish asks Creed about his hate speech, but he brushes it off as distortion from the liberal media. He frames himself as a champion, when suddenly Iceman’s father stands up in the crowd and calls Creed out for his prejudices. Bobby feels pride that his bigoted father would take the time to stand up for mutants.

At the mansion, Joseph flies through Rogue’s window while she is sleeping. Joseph insists that she come to the sub-basement with him, but she wants to get dressed first. Outside, Bishop and Wolverine are sitting by a fire. Bishop wonders what he should do next since he has fulfilled his ultimate goal of discovering and defeating the X-traitor. Wolverine tells him he just has to live, when they both notice Gambit staring into the distance. Gambit attacks Joseph; Joseph tries to explain that he may’ve found a way to cure Rogue’s powers, but Gambit insists it will just lead to disappointment. The two fight for a couple of pages before Rogue breaks them up and chastises them for acting jealous. Rogue flies away, and Gambit and Joseph make up.

We end on a scene with J. Jonah Jameson’s wife Marla telling him to stop working and go to bed. Outside the office we see that Havok is observing Jameson with intentions to kill him.

How It Was: Well, this is mostly a filler issue. Probably the most significant event is the revelation of Gambit showing his respects for the Morlock Massacre. Since the last anniversary was in Uncanny #325 thirteen months ago, I don’t know how that works in Marvel time. Still this is a pretty big clue that Gambit was somehow involved when he worked for Sinister. While the scene of the graves underground in the sewer is a little absurd, it works really well as a nice visual. And it is nice to see Storm acknowledge her failures with the Morlocks.

The rest isn’t quite as interesting. Iceman is apparently watching to see if Creed does something illegal, but that doesn’t explain why he’s helping Creed. Seriously, Creed calls Bobby his best volunteer, so what is Bobby doing to earn this title? Other than that it’s more of the same from Creed. I have to say that a lot of the dialogue does feel a lot more relevant in post 9/11 America. Seeing a conservative politician justifying racial profiling and speculating on the fears and paranoia of regular Americans, all while blaming the “liberal media” for calling him a fear monger, feels very familiar in a world of Tea Party politics and “Ground Zero” Mosque distortion. Having Mr. Drake come to the defense of mutants is okay, and he draws some good parallels, but it comes completely out of nowhere. I mean Bobby’s dad hasn’t been in the book since Uncanny X-Men #319; we’re at Uncanny #339 at this point, and that isn’t even including the Age of Apocalypse issues. So we’re picking up on a two-year-old side-character arc with absolutely no buildup… fantastic.

The fight between Gambit and Joseph is just weird and poorly handled. It seems obvious that Gambit is jealous, and emotional from visiting the Morlock graves, but he still comes off as a jerk to a guy who didn’t do anything wrong and is trying to help the woman he loves. Gambit’s portrayal towards Joseph is so inconsistent in the X-titles; sometimes he’s telling Joseph to forget the sins of the past and that redemption is possible, while other times he’s just like, “Hey, you were Magneto! Blah, blah, blah!” It’s actually a cool looking fight, but there is no emotional investment since there isn’t any decent motivation behind it.

Bernard Chang fills in this month. His style is a little more cartoony than usual, but it’s okay. He does accidentally draw regular Wolverine when he should be drawing mutated troll-Wolverine, and he insists on putting both Storm and Rogue in midriff tops, which is quite unnecessary. Rogue’s outfit is especially absurd since she insisted on getting dressed and then puts on fewer clothes than she had on in bed, with a half-shirt and short shorts.

The X-Men books have felt like filler since the end of Onslaught, and this continues the trend. Yes, once again the final issue sets up the next issue of Uncanny, but that’s about it. I can’t say that I really care about anything going on at this point, and a lot of the character motivations feel off to me.

D-

Uncanny X-Men #325

Uncanny X-Men #325
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down: The X-Men are spending the day playing baseball with the cast of Generation X. Bishop steals a base, and it ends with a bunch of mutants tangled up in Skin’s skin while everyone else laughs. Wolverine shows up to mention how nice it is to see Storm smile. A portal appears on the baseball diamond, and Colossus comes through it, holding an unconscious Callisto, asking for help.

In New York, members of Gene Nation have stopped a subway full of people to use as hostages. Back at the mansion, Colossus fills in the rest of the X-Men. For some reason, Callisto passed out after she told Peter what needed to be done. A bunch of renegade Morlocks calling themselves Gene Nation are preparing to kill a lot of humans for the anniversary of the Morlock Massacre. Callisto accuses Storm of not taking her role as Morlock leader seriously enough, even though last time we saw her, Callisto had renounced her leadership so she could be pretty and have a normal life on the surface world.

Callisto uses a hologram to show the X-Men Gene Nation and explains that the Morlocks were taken to an alternate dimension where time was accelerated after Mikhail seemingly killed them all. Marrow and some others felt that the old Morlocks were weak and came back to Earth to reclaim their home and punish the humans.

Meanwhile, Gambit receives a phone call from Rogue. She tells him that they’re going to Seattle, where Gambit apparently did something really awful. Gambit tries to stop her, but she leaves the phone off the hook. Cyclops, Beast, Jean, Archangel, and Psylocke load up into the Blackbird. They’re acting as back up to the main team, but they don’t do anything else important in this issue. Archangel discusses the loss of his wings with Betsy.

At Sinister’s secret base, his assistant Threnody alerts Sinister that Gambit is on his way to Seattle just as she was ordered to do if that ever transpired. Sinister says some vague and cryptic mutterings about this being according to plan.

Wolverine, Callisto, Colossus, and Storm are the only four that Callisto’s teleporter could carry, so they are the ones searching the sewers. Callisto blames Storm for all of this, but the group is interrupted by a mangled body in front of a message for the X-Men. A new Gene Nation member named Reverb is tracking the X-Men, and Marrow is anxious to begin the fight. The X-Men are attacked by a big, strong mutant named Hemingway, who Callisto notes as having mutated recently. Vessel also shows up for the fight. While Colossus and Wolverine hold them off, Storm and Callisto continue towards the hostages.

The two Morlock leaders find the hostages escaping. One stops to fill them in, but then shoots Callisto with a gun, revealing himself to be Sack; Storm subdues him. Marrow appears and tells Storm that she was a young girl when Storm became leader of the Morlocks. Storm offered hope but never followed through on any of it, angering Marrow, who was once called Sarah. She reveals a number of hostages with bombs attached to them. The trigger has been strapped to Marrow’s heart, so Storm has to remove it before the timer reaches zero. They agree to a one-on-one duel using Marrow’s bone fragments as knives.

The mutant Reverb tries to affect the fight by attacking Storm, but Storm kills him by throwing her knives at him. Unarmed, Storm is still able to overpower Marrow, stab her, and cut out her heart to save the day.

The X-Men free the hostages and Callisto asks Colossus if he wants to go with her, but he declines. After a good-bye kiss she teleports away. Colossus decides his place is no longer with the X-Men either, so he walks away after saying good-bye to Storm. Storm agonizes over her choice, and Wolverine comforts her as they walk away.

How It Was: This issue is double-sized with a foldout cardboard cover to celebrate the 20th Anniversary of Giant-Sized X-Men #1, the issue where Wolverine, Storm, Colossus, Nightcrawler, and Banshee joined the X-Men. Thunderbird did as well, but he died after three issues, so he hardly counts. The bad news is that this month had two, two, two double-sized issues for me to review and this is the first. And of course, both issues have covers that neglect to have the titles of the comic books or their numbers on the front, so that’s real helpful to collectors and potential new fans.

As for the comic, there is a lot of space filled by baseball and later by exposition. The baseball game has some fun comments from Beast, but other than that the rest of the scene is silly, and not in a good way. The inclusion of Generation X is perplexing since they don’t do anything else for the rest of the issue even though they’ve also been fighting members of Gene Nation in their own title. At the very least they should have let Banshee go with the field team since the rest of the members are all mutants from Giant-Sized X-Men #1.

This book seems to be full of errors. Callisto’s unconscious appearance is most likely a last minute mistake that was covered with dialogue. Callisto has to note that Hemingway has mutated recently, which probably means that his design was different in Generation X. And Callisto blames Storm for neglecting the Morlocks when she did the very same thing back in her last appearance in Uncanny X-Men. None of these break the story, but it is frustrating to see so much inconsistency.

The tone suddenly shifts from light and silly in the beginning to very, very dark. All of a sudden we go from laughing at people crashing into each other on home plate to mangled bodies left as messages for the X-Men. And while the battle with Gene Nation is what you would expect, the fight between Storm and Marrow is surprisingly violent. We get the two slicing at each other with bone knives, Storm licking Marrow’s blood off of a knife (???), and Marrow getting her heart ripped out. It’s a pretty big “what the?” moment, at least until you start to think about how stupid and contrived it is to strap a bomb detonator to her heart in the first place. Most of these final scenes feel out of character for Storm, from the taunting with licking blood to the part when she tells Marrow to “get over it.” The scenes at the end showing Storm’s guilt make it clear that she was putting on a strong face, but it still reads really strangely.

While the Gene Nation members are still completely one-dimensional, Marrow does have some good moments. When she’s not being “strap a bomb to your heart” crazy, she actually comes off as a fairly sympathetic character who put her faith in Storm and was ultimately disappointed when she let the Morlocks “die.” And for all my insisting that Callisto is a big hypocrite, she does have a good point about the X-Men having forgotten about the Morlocks; after all, they’re playing a game of baseball on the anniversary of the Morlock Massacre.

It’s also nice to see Colossus back as an X-Man, even though I feel like there were still stories left to explore with him as a villain. He doesn’t do a lot except flirt with Callisto and take accusations from Wolverine, but he’s still back where he is meant to be. And speaking of Wolverine, he gets some classic lines in while fighting with Gene Nation, and he’s finally wearing his mask again.

There are some pretty good moments in this book, but you have to wade through a lot of filler to get to them. Plus Gene Nation’s origins are quite convoluted, involving interdimensional portals and different rates of time. It’s nice to have Storm in the spotlight, and it gets rid of the Morlocks for the time being, although they always come back.

C

Uncanny X-Men #323

Uncanny X-Men #323
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Bryan Hitch

What Went Down: Rogue and Iceman are still on their road trip around the country, but their car has broken down. Rogue insists that neither one of them use their powers, so they begin walking to the nearest town.

Archangel and Psylocke are spending the afternoon in the Danger Room, since Sabretooth is no longer living in it due to his injuries from Wolverine. Psylocke senses that something is wrong with Warren. It turns out he is still shaken from seeing massacre at the disco from last issue. The couple is interrupted by Gambit, who asks about Rogue’s whereabouts before he passes out again; he is concerned that Rogue has absorbed his memories and may’ve discovered some secrets.

Outside, Sabretooth is running around like a puppy dog because the claw Wolverine shoved through his skull seems to have caused some brain damage. Attached to Creed’s collar is a leash being held by the newest X-Man Cannonball, formerly of X-Force. Sam struggles to take Creed on his walk, but Creed hesitates when they come across a very angry Wolverine. Wolverine threatens Sabretooth and scares Cannonball a little when the youth comes to his prisoner’s defense. Storm interrupts with a mission, and Wolverine says he can squeeze it in before meeting with James and Heather Hudson of Alpha Flight over in his own book.

At Trish Tilby’s news building, the Beast visits her and accuses her of selling out mutants for a scoop. Tilby argues that it’s a public health concern that people have a right to know about. Beast brings up the death of Dennis from X-Men: Prime, but Trish says the death is as much Hank’s fault for failing to save the man.

Graydon Creed is making an impassioned speech outside of City Hall. Noah Dubois pops up again, observing that Creed is reminiscent of Hitler. A block away, Wolverine, Cannonball, and Storm meet up with Charlotte Jones because she has something to show them. Rogue and Iceman are taking a break when Bobby decides to ask Rogue what is bothering her. Rogue can’t seem to remember, and Bobby starts seeing hallucinations of the White Queen, Emma Frost, taunting him.

At the city morgue, the coroner shows the X-Men images of the dead club patrons; it is revealed that they just stopped moving, and there was no physical evidence for why they died. Wolverine realizes that the doctor smells wrong and attacks him. His friends think he might be losing it, but it turns out that the doctor is being possessed by a new villain named… (sigh) Sack. Yes, his name is Sack. Then Sack’s partner Vessel appears and announces that they are members of a group named Gene Nation, and of course they are going to try to kill the X-Men.

How It Was: The “new” direction for the X-Men continues with Cannonball joining the X-Men for some reason…I didn’t collect X-Force, so I don’t really know why. Unfortunately, the writers decided to portray him as a young, naïve, in-over-his-head neophyte as opposed to the seasoned veteran and leader that he is supposed to be. The X-staff’s comments on this period were that Cannonball would be intimidated by joining the main, core X-team, but that explanation doesn’t really fly with past events. Sam has fought with and against the X-Men many times, and he shouldn’t be scared of being one of them. X-Force and X-Men fans around the country were both quite bothered by this, but Sam remains a member of the X-Men for about three years before going back to X-Force.

As for the rest of the story, not all of it works. Sabretooth’s lobotomy is kind of interesting, especially given the events in Age of Apocalypse, and it comes off as a genuine attempt to reform the villain. Wolverine’s regression to a more feral nature doesn’t work as well since all he does is stop wearing his mask and act slightly angrier then usual. In all of the action sequences, he acts perfectly normal, so his deterioration can’t be that severe.

The reveal that all of the club customers died from stopping is also a letdown since earlier it is set up as the most horrific thing that Archangel has ever seen. Gambit’s outburst is intriguing, although it is going to be a long while before we get a definitive answer as to the specifics of what he is afraid of. And Noah Dubois continues to pop up in Uncanny, misleading you into thinking that this is leading to something significant.

Worst of all is the return of the Morlocks in the form of Vessel and Sack. They both have cool designs, horrible codenames, and zero personality. Worst of all, they tie into Gene Nation, a group that somehow manages to convolute the Morlocks even more than when Dark Beast was made their founder.

There’s a lot going on in this issue, but unfortunately most of it doesn’t really go anywhere interesting. Iceman’s visions of Emma, the Noah Dubois appearances, Sabretooth and Wolverine’s changes in attitude, and the Gene Nation all end up either getting dropped or leading to some really disappointing stories. Graydon Creed’s political campaign does begin here, affecting the titles for the foreseeable future, and the conflict between Beast and Trish is really well done, presenting balanced arguments for both sides. And of course Cannonball needs some work.

C+

Uncanny X-Men #293

Uncanny X-Men #293
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Tom Raney

What Went Down: Storm, Colossus, and Bishop begin the issue by tracking the Morlocks as they return to the sewers. Even though the Morlocks are no longer under the influence of the scared little boy from last issue, the Gold Team still wants to make sure there is no trouble. Also, following the Morlocks evidently means breaking through the walls of the sewers instead of just tailing one of them.

Well big surprise, there is trouble as Mikhail Rasputin (in full crazy mode) is discovered at the Morlocks’ lair sitting on a throne made of live Morlocks. It seems he wants to take over the vacant spot of leader.

In another part of the sewers, Jean Grey is looking for Archangel, who left the fight to go sulk last issue. Professor X is guiding her telepathically until Calisto attacks him.

Colossus decides that he has to reach out to his brother, a very reasonable assumption, and begins by tearing off his shirt, a very weird and uncomfortable action. Mikhail uses his powers to open the floodgates because he believes that the best direction he can take as leader is to kill all of the Morlocks in a flood, thus sending them to the hereafter where they won’t have to suffer any more.

Jean finds Archangel reminiscing about when the Marauders injured his wings, although he calls them the Reavers by accident (i.e. typo). Jean tells him that his wings aren’t controlling him, even though other stories had already established that they do sometimes, and that all of his rages were his own fault. Unfortunately this explanation is allowed to stand, killing the only good Archangel plot thread for the foreseeable future, at least until he starts dating Psylocke, which isn’t really that interesting at all.

Back to Xavier, he severely embarrasses Calisto by knocking her out. That’s right; an unarmed, paralyzed man on the ground beats up the warrior leader of the Morlocks who has a knife. Mikhail uses his powers to carry the Professor and Calisto to where he is, so now he has telekinesis as well.

Iceman shows up to attack Mikhail, and the X-Men get to work trying to stop him. Iceman tries shooting ice at him, Bishop tries absorbing all of his energy, but nothing works. Oddly enough, Iceman is also ineffective at trying to freeze the water, which doesn’t really make sense since that’s the whole point of his power.

Colossus gives up and tells his brother that he will die with him if he must, but Archangel saves him. Mikhail uses his powers to use Jean Grey’s powers and send all of the X-Men out of the sewers before the water crushes all of the Morlocks. No worries, they’ll be back.

The issue ends with Colossus calling his sister and telling her that his trip home is going to be postponed. Then Jean consoles him as he cries for his brother.

How It Was: So the Morlocks, and Mikhail, get unceremoniously dumped out of the comic because nobody wants to deal with them. But the real problem with this issue is that a lot of it just doesn’t make sense. If the Morlocks are no longer being controlled, then why do they make Mikhail their leader, and how come no one protests when he decides to kill everyone? Why is Jean telling Warren that his wings aren’t responsible for his rages when other stories have clearly established that they are? Why does Archangel have to cry for two issues straight? How could the Professor possibly beat Calisto when he is a paralyzed man in the water with a bleeding leg? How come Iceman can’t freeze water? Why has Mikhail decided to go against his no killing rule? And why does Colossus rip his shirt off when there are only a couple of holes in it? There are just too many aspects of the plot that don’t make sense.

The one shining moment in the comic occurs during the last two pages, and not just because the story finally ends. The scene where Peter talks to his sister while trying to hold it together is very powerful. And the art does a fantastic job of rendering Peter’s pain. It’s a well done bit that is the complete opposite of Archangel’s scenes, as these are relatable and warrented. While it’s a great scene, it’s not enough to make up for all of the other shortcomings with this final chapter.

D

Uncanny X-Men #292

Uncanny X-Men #292
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Tom Raney

What Went Down: Things aren’t going too well for the Gold Team since the last issue. Storm is still having a conniption over being swarmed by hideous mutants in an enclosed space, Archangel has abandoned the X-Men to go cry like a little girl at the spot where he lost his wings during the Mutant Massacre, and the Morlocks are rioting in New York. To make matters worse, Colossus and Bishop start the issue out with a confrontation over Bishop’s violent tendencies.

Back at the mansion, Iceman is getting his clock cleaned by Mikhail Rasputin. One of the major themes of Scott Lobdell’s Iceman stories is having Bobby realize that he hasn’t lived up to his potential as far as mastering his own powers as time after time other mutants use his powers better than he can. Mikhail demonstrates how to melt Iceman, turn Iceman into pure ice, and shatter and reform Iceman.

In between issues, it looks as if it was decided that the cause of the Morlocks’ riot was not Masque’s violation of their bodies and minds. Instead, the cause is actually a Morlock boy named Braincell who is projecting his feelings of fear into everyone else.

Colossus and Jean fight one of the most annoying characters I have ever read, MeMe. He’s a Morlock who absorbs people into his body, making him stronger, and he also happens to have the rather aggravating habit of repeating random words twice in his sentences. It annoy annoys me a lot lot. Thankfully, the only way to save the people he’s absorbed is for Jean to shut off his mind. They make a big deal about it being sad and Jean even cries, but I say good riddance to awful characters.

Bishop is also fighting a group of Morlocks, but he is interrupted by the police. They want to arrest him for killing all those mutants before he joined the X-Men. He shoots at their cars in an attempt to scare them away, and Storm takes that exact moment to reenter the fray and chastise Bishop.

As Mikhail beats up Iceman, Calisto tears apart Storm’s room and finds her old vest that she gave to Storm.

Down in the sewer, Xavier has to exit his hover chair to crawl into the small space that the young boy is hiding. In a completely unnecessary gross out scene, the Professor gets his pants caught on something, pulls really hard, and then realizes that it was actually his leg that was caught on something, and he has now ripped that leg open pretty badly. Despite the risk of bleeding to death, the Professor calms the kid down, and the Morlocks calm down in turn.

At the mansion, Calisto and Mikhail kiss; Mikhail explains that he cannot bring himself to kill anybody, but Calisto believes she can change his mind.

How It Was: It’s a big fight issue, occasionally interrupted by Archangel’s weeping and the Professor goring himself on debris. Warren’s weeping in this issue is completely uncalled for since he was joking with the X-Men down in the sewers during the previous issue, as well as the fact that he’s supposed to be the freaking angel of death. I was expecting him to maybe flip out on the Morlocks and give into the dark side that writers had been building up in stories since the original X-Factor. Instead, next issue completely ruins all of that setup by ignoring a lot of it and prematurely ending Archangel’s uncontrollable darkness, except for a brief scene during the crossover. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for characters expressing emotion, but not for them acting pathetic.

Mikhail is still lame, but his fight with Iceman is kind of exciting. Evidently crazy is contagious since Calisto is now acting completely nuts as well. As mentioned before, the scene with MeMe can’t end fast enough. Poor Bishop gets scolded not once, but twice for being too violent. Having the toughest character on the Gold Team being constantly chastised like a school boy is definitely not the way to make him seem cooler.

The art is good, especially the scenes in the sewer with Xavier. The Morlocks are all pretty generic looking, but I guess that’s part of the idea of the whole getting violated by Masque aspect. And even though I do hate it the scene with Archangel crying looks really nice.

It’s a long fight that has nothing to really recommend story or character wise, especially if you’re squeamish. The only really interesting aspect is the possibility of the X-Men and the police coming into conflict over Bishop’s wanted status, but nothing ever comes of this and it’s soon forgotten.

C

Uncanny X-Men #291

Uncanny X-Men #291
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Tom Raney

What Went Down: Random Fact About the X-Men #1: they are fans of Jay Leno. Random Fact #2: some of them need more appropriate pajamas to wear while they watch together. The X-Men’s Leno viewing is interrupted by a beaten up woman at the front door; Colossus answers the door in his boxers. The badly beaten woman turns out to be Calisto, and the badly beaten Morlock Healer is with her.

Upstairs Mikhail is having hallucinations about all of the people he killed with his powers back in the Void. Rather than act terrified, he seems to just grudgingly acknowledge them.

In the medlab, Professor X scans Calisto’s mind to discover what happened. Basically the Healer came by to ask if Calisto would reassume her role as leader of the Morlocks, and she refused because she likes being pretty and not living in the sewers (due to the mutant Masque’s ability to shapshift other people). Unfortunately, all of the Morlocks have been made even more hideous by Masque, and this has made them a tad insane. After she says no, the other Morlocks freak out and beat both of them senseless.

Everyone is startled to discover that Mikhail was able to listen in on the Professor’s psychic frequency. Mikhail also expresses his sympathy for Calisto since she is also responsible for the fall of a group of people entrusted to her. Storm declares that she is going to try to stop the Morlocks by herself (because she was technically the Morlocks’ leader until Masque took over), but Archangel talks her out of it by explaining that the Morlocks are everybody’s responsibility.

As the X-Men are planning their next move, the Healer heals all of Calisto’s wounds, but at the cost of his life and Calisto’s beauty for some reason.

There is a subplot scene about a man in sunglasses from the Friends of Humanity collecting someone at a nursing home…I have no idea what this refers to; I think it was a dropped plotline.

Well the X-Men, plus Professor X, journey to the sewers, and Iceman stays at the mansion to watch Calisto. Mikhail gets in Iceman’s face and tells him he is going to free Calisto.

Down in the sewers, Storm tries to talk to the Morlocks, but they all swarm around her. She flips out because of her claustrophobia, and blasts a hole through the sewer to the surface, setting free all of the unstable Morlocks.

How It Was: And so begins “The Last Morlock Story.” Except it’s not really, the last issue of this arc just has those words on the cover. Between this story and the Mutant Massacre, you’d think the Morlocks would be all gone by now, but they always find a way to come back.

This is a pretty good intro to the story, although in the next couple of issues the narrative starts to abandon logic. But the badly beaten Calisto does start the issue off with a sense of urgency, as does the death of the Healer, even if he was an inconsequential mid-1980s comic book bit character (Random Fact: the Healer actually appears in the X-Men Legends video game voiced by Emmy and Golden Globe Award winning actor Ed Asner, so maybe he’s not that minor). However, Mikhail’s perceived connection with Calisto doesn’t really make much sense since she completely abandoned the Morlocks without reservations and remorselessly killed some in the process. Future stories tend to forget the whole “pretty Calisto” plot, and in a few years she will be accusing Storm of abandoning her people without any sense of guilt or irony. But back to Mikhail, he turns into a total tool over the course of this story, and Lobdell keeps giving him more and more applications for his vaguely defined powers.

It’s also nice to see characters like Archangel and Storm react to having to deal with the Morlocks again, although it is funny how every Morlock story starts with Storm feeling guilty about not taking her role as leader seriously, and then afterwards she completely ignores them until the next Morlock crisis.

The art by fill in artist Tom Raney is rather nice. Sometimes the proportions on characters are a little off, and the two page spread on the second and third pages contains characters in some completely unnecessary action poses, but for the most part the characters are depicted clearly, and with some great expressions. There is a really gross scene of one of the Morlock’s taking out Calisto’s eye, followed by a great shot of her tearing the Morlocks apart with her arms covered in blood. Unfortunately the coloring scheme in Calisto’s flashback consists of hot pink and neon orange.

It’s a decent story up until the last couple of pages where we get some of the most boring banter between the gold team yet (Jean worries about the Professor some more, Colossus bores Warren with his theories on his brother’s powers), and then Storm freaks out and blasts a hole in the sewer. I don’t really understand why this is such big deal since the Morlocks could have easily just used the manholes to get to the surface and terrorize New York if Storm hadn’t freaked out.

Some interesting and memorable moments, but the parts with Mikhail and the end kind of ruin it.

B-