X-Men #84

X-Men #84

Writing: Joe Kelly

Art: Adam Kubert

What Went Down:  Reunited, Xavier holds Nina as the prime Cerebro basks among the captured X-Men and Brotherhood members.  Elsewhere, Nightcrawler has picked up Rogue, Colossus, Gambit, and Renee.  Using tracking systems, Kurt is able to find the captured X-Men as well. 

Cerebro explains his origins to Xavier.  Its programming was shunted to a different vessel when Bastion and a Prime Sentinel tried to use it.  After gaining sentience, it analyzed its own existence and realized it needed a dream and purpose.  Creating the false X-Men from its own detailed files, Cerebro wanted to create peace by cataloguing all humans and mutants, imprisoning them forever.  Cerebro wants to use Xavier’s telepathy to catalog the entire planet at one time. 

Xavier argues that he still doesn’t have his powers after Onslaught, but Cerebro knows that Nina can return those powers.  Fortunately the remaining X-Men come to the rescue.  Xavier decides that it is time for Nina to return his powers to him, just as the remaining X-Men are captured.  Using his powers Xavier is able to free the X-Men, so Cerebro activates the Xavier Protocols—the files on the weaknesses of every X-Man.  The X-Men are put through excruciating torments, but it is all revealed to be an illusion from Xavier and Nina.

The X-Men tear apart the Cerebrites, and Xavier uses his powers to show the Prime Cerebro the minds of humanity, not just their genetic codes.  Before it dies, Cerebro apologizes to the X-Men for not seeing how unique and special the world is. 

How It Was:  Well this issue concludes much as you’d expect it: Xavier gets his powers back and Cerebro is vanquished.  The main difference between this issue and the previous ones is that Kelly and Kubert both have the entire team to utilize in the fight, and they find a way to give every character a moment to shine. Interestingly, the Brotherhood is never brought up at any point other than when they are shown as Cerebro’s captives. 

Probably the best moment is the double page spread where the Xavier Protocols are used on the X-Men.  It’s a dark and striking visual that stands up even if the moment itself is revealed to be a hoax.  As with the Machine Man/Bastion story, I am baffled by the idea that telepaths can use their powers on machines to fool them, but whatever.  It’s a standard X-Men solution, and Kelly does try very hard to sell the idea of Cerebro gaining true sentience as a response to Bastion’s attack. 

The imagery in the astral plane makes for another amazing visual, causing me to be more forgiving of the sad, redemptive ending that comes out of nowhere.  It’s hard to feel sympathy towards Cerebro when he’s been such a bland villain…cataloguing people by locking them into eggs.  Still, it’s a good concluding fight and some of Adam Kubert’s strongest work.  Even if the Hunt for Xavier was too long and stretched out, it had its moments.  It’s just a shame that it had to stick so close to its parallel structure, almost devoid of novelty or surprise.  But this is still a solid conclusion.

For Comics Fans

X-Men #83

X-Men #83

Writing: Joe Kelly

Art: Adam Kubert

What Went Down:  Renee Majcomb holds Nina the young Mannite as the Alpha Cerebro fights the X-Men.  Nina is able to assist by waking up members knocked unconscious. Gambit blows up the floor underneath the villain, buying the team some time to regroup.  In a power plant, the primary Cerebro is busy cataloging humans and locking them in spheres.

Back in Russia, Renee helps Nina explain her background.  Back at the Zero Tolerance base, Nina imprinted Xavier’s mind when she met him, adding his memories to her own telepathic and reality warping powers.  Charles was able to summon Renee to save Nina, and Nina led them to the monks that Charles had spent time with while trying to control his own powers. 

Cerebro attacks again, this time by controlling Colossus.  The Cerebrite is also able to prematurely cause Gambit’s cards to explode and utilize nanotechnology to trap Storm in a box.  The Cerebrite shoots a beam at Storm causing her to disappear. 

After a brief glimpse at the Cerbro battle over in Uncanny, we return to the action with Rogue saving the unconscious Gambit.  Rogue’s glove is torn, so she accidentally gets a glimpse of the green mist lady who saved Gambit in Antarctica.  The Cerebrite knocks out Rogue and takes Nina.

How It Was:  Kelly tries to frame this issue through narration that focuses on the fear that the young Nina must be going through.  This would be a lot more effective if the girl in question wasn’t an all-powerful plot device, or if anybody cared about Nina.  Anyway, here’s an issue long fight scene where half the X-Men fight their rogue computer. 

Actually the fight has some nice moments, like Gambit charging the floor up, and Storm blowing him away at the last second.  It’s a little annoying that Nina can use her powers to wake up X-Men that have been knocked unconscious.  I suppose that one could argue that Cerebro is just as overpowered: he can trigger powers, possess Colossus, and survive lots of different attacks.  But at least Cerebro explains how he makes Gambit’s cards explode or makes a box for Storm to be trapped in. 

There’s not a lot to say about this issue.  It’s a big fight with a lot of complaining from Renee and Nina.  Cerebro gets a chance to use its powers intelligently in taking down the X-Men, although it’s unclear why it only chooses to assimilate Storm instead of the whole team.  Plot convenience I guess.  Solid action.

For X-Fans

X-Men #81

X-Men #81

Writing: Joe Kelly

Art: Adam Kubert

What Went Down:  The X-Men have crudely reconstructed a makeshift Danger Room to help them train.  Despite Nightcrawler’s efforts, Marrow doesn’t want to participate.  Storm tries to order Marrow, but the Morlock complains that all their training didn’t help them with Operation Zero Tolerance or protecting Professor X.  At the boathouse, Gambit is exercising and working up the nerve to go see Rogue.  When Rogue shows up, he manages to embarrass himself completely.

In Boston a hooded figure laughs and talks to herself.  Up in the attic Storm shows her garden to Colossus while they reconnect.  Wolverine and Kitty do the same thing while practicing knife throwing.  In Boston, Rogue and Gambit meet to escape the prying ears of the X-Men.  Gambit tries to make Rogue guilty for leaving him.  Their discussion is interrupted by new villain Kali, who channels energy through a staff and hears voices.  She fights the two X-Men, calling them lovers and angering Rogue.  Gambit knocks her away and admits to Rogue that it was his mind’s self-hate that influenced her decision.  Then they work together to defeat Kali, who promptly explodes in a fury of green energy. Gambit and Rogue talk, and he stops short of saying he loves her.  Rogue thinks he’s just afraid, but actually he is possessed by a green mist woman who threatens to kill Rogue and the other X-Men.

How It Was:  Although the main emphasis is on Gambit and Rogue, Kelly’s script gives every character his or her own moment to shine.  The opening four pages do a wonderful job of setting up where most of the characters are at this point.  Wolverine and Storm are struggling with Marrow, while the Excalibur 3 are trying their best to fit back in and keep it light.  The tension between Marrow and Storm is much more interesting than Marrow stealing some pictures.  The reunion between Gambit and Rogue is handled very well, and Kelly wisely chooses to cut the awkwardness with some humor. 

The conversation between Gambit and Rogue handles all the necessary chores.  Their mutual interest in each other is reaffirmed, it is firmly established that Rogue left Gambit because she had absorbed his self-loathing, and a new obstacle is placed in the couple’s way to keep them from getting together and becoming boring.  Kelly tries to tie in the other X-Men by cutting to some sporadic conversations about characters and relationships, but it is all tangential and never goes anywhere. 

The big weakness is the villain Kali.  She is a goofy character brought in because this is a super hero comic, and darn it we need a fight somewhere.  She talks to herself, and she will never be seen again, so feel free to forget about her.  Kubert does a wonderful job with the action, both here and in the Danger Room.  He really sells the emotions of the characters as well, such as when Rogue blows off Gambit’s white rose, or the jolly teasing of Colossus. 

Forgetable villain aside, this is a great issue.  It gets the Rogue/Gambit relationship back on track, and it has some fun with the characters.  As for the end, the green smoke girl is interesting at first, but this drags on for quite some time until it’s finally done away with for good.  Still a very good read if you love light character pieces a la the majority of Scott Lobdell’s run.

X-Fans Should Read

Uncanny X-Men #361

Uncanny X-Men #361

Writing: Steve Seagle

Art: Steve Skroce

What Went Down:  We open on a fight between Storm and an army of Korean monk warriors, with  Kitty Pryde as back up.  After dispatching the bad guys, Storm’s contact shows up—X-villain Black Tom Cassidy.  Black Tom swears the warriors weren’t allied with him, and claims he needs the X-Men’s help. 

Back at the mansion, Wolverine discovers Rogue returning from a trip to Antarctica searching for Gambit.  Rogue explains that the only reason she left him there was because Gambit’s memories and personality were subconsciously telling her to.  Outside the room, Colossus and Nightcrawler are chasing Marrow, who has stolen Peter’s sketch pad.  After getting the pad, Kurt is attacked by Marrow, who in turn is stopped by Rogue.  Marrow is chastised, but explains that she just wanted to look at the pad because it was pretty.  Then she storms off.  Wolverine announces that he is moving outside the mansion to return to nature and such.

Back in Seoul, Black Tom explains that the Juggernaut is dying.  He was led into a trap based on false information about a second Cytoraak Gem.  The gem in question instead sucked the power from the villain.  When they arrive at the hideout, Juggernaut has left and smashed through a wall.  Storm and Kitty accuse Tom of lying, but go out to search for Cain anyways.  There’s also someone in the shadows watching. 

Enraged by his situation, Juggernaut has decided to go on a rampage, even without his full power.  As Storm tries to contain the damage, Gambit shows up on a motorcycle and puts down the bad guy.  Storm then yells at him for not contacting his loved ones in all this time and for attacking the dying villain.  Fortunately the X-Men find a map in Juggernaut’s pants that leads them to a temple where the crystal is being held. 

Colossus draws a picture for Marrow and accidently walks in on her making a magazine collage, which embarrasses her.  Over at the temple, Kitty, Gambit, and Storm fight off more of the mystical warriors, as well as various temple traps.  Kitty reaches the gem first, but leaves it with Gambit to go check on Storm.  Finding that Gambit has vanished, the two X-Women decide to return to Black Tom.  They are surprised to find Gambit already there, and the Juggernaut returned to full health.  Cain begrudgenly thanks them, and Storm invites Gambit to return to the X-Men.  When asked how he got out of the Arctic, Gambit says he walked, and we see a flashback of two sets of footprints in the snow. 

How It Was:  Ah now this is a fun one.  This is the return of Gambit, gone for eleven issues since his trial.  It’s also a preview for his new ongoing series drawn by Steve Skroce. 

There’s a lot of action in this book; we get an opening fight, a battle with Juggernaut, and the finale with more ninjas and temple traps.  All of it is rendered with Skroce’s keen eye for choreography and framing.  The Juggernaut fight, which is relatively brief, becomes one of the moments of the issue thanks to a gorgeous sequence of Gambit doing a flip on a motorcycle while showering exploding cards onto the villain.  The warriors and their temple have some really awesome designs as well, and there are loads of them in every fight panel.  Skroce’s style really emphasizes action and movement well, like when Gambit uses some spears to cross a moat, or the aforementioned motorcycle sequence.

While this issue could’ve gotten by on its action, there is a lot going on in the character department as well.  We have Storm torn between her principles as a hero and distrust of Black Tom.  Kitty is torn between her respect for Storm and her knowledge that the villains will screw them.  There’s a humbled though in denial Juggernaut which is a refreshing take.  And then everyone gets even more emotionally conflicted and tense when Gambit pops up out of nowhere.  What started off as a story about ambiguous trust gains a whole new layer at just the right moment.  The dialogue works really well, especially Gambit’s equips and attempts to pretend like nothing happened.

It’s not perfect; the stuff with Marrow feels a little off.  Marrow was originally this jaded teen that has seen more in her short, traumatic life than any of the X-Men.  Here she’s played off as kind of bratty.  I do like that she’s embarrassed of her appreciation of beauty, but I feel like there are better ways than the teen girl collage, such as her previous crushes on teammates.  The idea is great; I’m just not thrilled with the execution.

This is a fun one and a great jumping on point for the time.  This may be Seagle’s best script as he finds a great mix of action, humor, and emotional tension that opens up character directions for months to come.  A welcome return for Gambit.

Everyone Should Read

X-Men #1/2

X-Men #1/2

Writing: Todd Dezago

Art: Mike Wieringo

What Went Down:  We begin in a medieval fantasy city named Salaam Centaur (see where this is going?) full of knights, horses, fairies, and traders.  Nightcrawler is there, but he’s dressed like someone form Lord of the Rings and going by the name Kurt of the Ulfen Warriors.  Kurt comes into contact with a beggar, who is actually Marrow.  While the warrior gives Marrow some coins, she picks his pocket and takes the rest of his money.  However, when she returns to her hiding spot, the coin purse disappears from the spot she left it. 

Elsewhere, Ororo the Goddess-of-the-Winds is visited by Kit, an elven ambassador of Phaerie.  Of course these characters are actually Storm and Kitty Pryde.  At a tavern, Kurt comes into contact with a mercenary named Logan, who of course is Wolverine.  Wolverine and Storm simultaneously tell the story to their respective companions of a dark wizard that clouds men’s minds and his army of townspeople who protect him.  Both Logan and Ororo want to rescue the kidnapped people.  As both groups leave, Storm and Kitty are tracked by Colossus while Nightcrawler and Wolverine are tracked by Marrow.

Outside the castle, Kurt confronts Marrow, and Colossus confronts all of them.  The group decides to join forces, although Marrow is reluctant, thinking it is not her fight.  The Dark Wizard confronts the X-Men and commands his horde of townspeople to attack.  As Kurt teleports he notices reality flickering, revealing present day people fighting in a mall.  Kitty confirms the illusion when she phases. 

Logan gets an idea to stop the wizard.  Individually all the heroes attack the wizard and are one by one mind controlled.  The wizard reveals himself to be X-Men villain Mesmero, who is obviously hypnotizing the X-Men and the civilians into believing the medieval illusion.  After Colossus is possessed, Kit phases through him to punch out Mesmero. With Mesmero unconscious, the world turns back to normal and all of the civilians are freed.  The X-Men decide to leave with Mesmero, assuming that they will get the blame for this.

How It Was:  This issue was a special that could be ordered from Wizard Magazine.  Every month they would have a different ½ issue to be solicited from Marvel or Image (and rarely DC).  Most of these were one-off stories that never affected the major plot lines of the characters, since the issues were only available to Wizard Magazine readers and inaccessible to most regular X-Men readers.  So hence we have this little diddy that fits in after the Excalibur group joins, but before Gambit does.

What really works in this book is the setting and fantasy redesigns for all the characters.  Mike Wieringo really went above and beyond; from the first page it captures the feel of a swords and sorcery epic like Conan.  The costumes for all the characters are phenomenal.  They’re completely different form their regular costumes, but still feel true to the characters. 

The story is hampered a little by its brief length; it’s only sixteen pages long.  And the first half of the story is just introducing the characters, the characters introducing themselves to each other, and then explaining the big wizard that they need to fight. Again the art carries the book as the scope of the final battle is pretty impressive; there are a dozen townsfolk on any given page for the heroes to fight.  It’s just too bad the fight is only like four or five pages long. 

The reveal of Mesmero is quite random, and he doesn’t have any motivation here for making a mall full of people and the X-Men believe they live in a Tolkien novel.  He just does it for the sake of doing it.  Mesmero’s plot doesn’t even make sense.  He obviously has to have hypnotized the X-Men in the first place to make them believe the illusion of the fantasy world, so why not just make them his slaves to begin with; probably because that already happened when he made the X-Men circus performers in Uncanny #111.  Still, he tries to convince the X-Men to join him, then he takes over their minds at the end, but he still has to have some control over them for the fantasy world to work.  I just don’t know.

This is pretty easily skippable.  It has no bearing on the plot of either of the main titles.  It’s essentially filler that would have wound up in an issue of X-Men Unlimited if Wizard hadn’t approached Marvel to make a gimmicky collectable for the most popular comics franchise at the time.  Having said that, it is still worth a look to see the fantasy spins Wieringo gave the X-Men; between this and his FF run, it’s obvious Wieringo was a truly amazing talent.  Other than that it’s too short and inconsequential.

C

X-Men #80

X-Men #80

Writing: Joe Kelly

Art: Brandon Peterson

What Went Down:  Kitty starts off the issue making her escape while the evil X-Men pursue her.  She manages to make it down to the sewers where she finds the captive Peter Corbeau.

Elsewhere in the Florida swamplands, Colossus and Wolverine tear themselves out of the crashed Blackbird.  Wolverine acts abrasive towards Peter, angry about his time as one of Magneto’s Acolytes.  Storm appears to remind him that it is not worse than his marriage to Viper.  Rogue wakes up powerless and is saved from a hungry alligator by Marrow. 

There is more exposition from the blond news reporter, followed by a scene where a scientist and a general discuss the rockets true purpose…to hunt down and kill mutants.  Back in the sewers, Corbeau warns Kitty that she has to stop the rocket from launching.  Kitty escapes, forced to leave Corbeau behind. 

With Storm and Rogue powerless and Nightcrawler badly injured, the X-Men are forced to hike through the swamp.  Colossus helps Marrow remove some of her broken bone shards so new ones will grow.  Marrow mentions that Peter’s brother used to do the same thing for him.  With the team’s spirits down, Storm gives an impassioned speech that inspires them to continue on.  Kitty appears at a copy shop and sends a fax to SHIELD that is intercepted by Xavier.

The X-Men make it to Cape Citadel, just in time for Nightcrawler to feel better and Rogue and Storm to get their powers back.  Kitty also shows up at the control tower, just in time for it to be attacked by the alternate X-Men.  Fortunately the real X-Men show up to save her.  The Grey King is tinkering with the rocket when the true X-Men attack.  A fight ensues and the control team tries to launch the rocket.  In the middle of the fight, Xavier confronts our heroes and demands that they stop interfering with his goals.  The X-Men question his behavior, but Xavier explains that the Benassi Rocket contains hardware to complete a network that can identify and kill mutants with satellite lasers at will.  The X-Men are conflicted about what to do until Wolverine smells him and realizes that this Xavier isn’t even human.  After being attacked, the false Xavier turns into a being of blue energy. 

The Grey King removes the satellite from the rocket to help Xavier catalogue mutants.  The rocket is triggered with the X-Men right where the engines are, but Kitty is able to phase the team to prevent them from being disintegrated.  The rocket has to be stopped because it contains a nuclear payload, so Rogue absorbs Nightcrawler and Colossus’ powers as well as Wolverine’s military knowledge to stop it.  The X-Men stop the other “X-Men” and destroy the satellite while Rogue disarms the rocket.  The blue energy Xavier is appalled that the X-Men stopped him and vows vengeance, and the X-Men steal their enemies’ jet to get home.  The final two pages show the scientific, military, and government officials being grilled about attempting to wipe out mutants through the Benassi rocket.  The last page reveals that the false X-Men are just hard-light programs, and the false Xavier is really Cerebro, the X-Men’s mutant detecting computer, brought to life.

How It Was:  I’ve always liked Joe Kelly’s issues just a little more than Steve Seagle’s, and reading them side by side with the exact same cast and plot makes this preference even more apparent to me.  Both writers have a great handle on the characters, but Kelly just adds more small touches, more humor, and more of an emotional impact altogether.  The scene that exemplifies this the most is Marrow saving Rogue from the gator.  Whereas Seagle’s Marrow is more of an angry kid who rubs everybody the wrong way and doesn’t always realize what she’s saying, Kelly’s Marrow is a jaded, battle hardened youth who points out the weaknesses that others take for granted.  When she stands up to Storm about their odds against the evil X-Men, she’s being realistic, not condescending, and even Rogue and Strom agree with her a little.  Plus the scene of her killing the gator just makes me laugh.  Other stand out moments include Storm’s pep talk and some of the characters’ reflections on Xavier’s meaning to them.

Of course there are some nitpicks.  The worst offense is Rogue being drawn with her pink outfit from Uncanny #342-350 instead of her original green costume that she was wearing last issue.  This always, always bothers me every time I read this story.  Wolverine’s behavior towards Colossus feels a little hypocritical, considering how conflicted Wolverine has always been about straddling the line between hero and killer.  It still kind of works as Wolverine reacting to missing his friend in the only manner he can while maintaining his gruff persona, but it feels a little forced.  Also, there are some issues with the order of events in the story.  Xavier tells the X-Men to process Kitty towards the end of Uncanny #360, then the bad X-Men take out the real ones, then the next issue opens with them trying to capture Kitty, which they should’ve done before attacking the real X-Men.  Oh, and Peter Corbeau serves absolutely no purpose in this story; yeah he warns Kitty about the rocket, but fake Xavier is the one who explains to the X-Men why it’s important.  Corbeau doesn’t even show up in the end; there’s just a brief mention about the officials under investigation because of his testimony.

As for the villains of the story…they’re okay I guess.  They’re not funny, they’re not scary, they’re not really noble…they just kind of do whatever the plot requires of them.  As for the reveal at the end, I like the design of the living Cerebro, even if the concept is a little silly.  Plus the reveal confuses the origins of the all-new X-Men; my understanding of it is although they think they’re real mutants, they’re just programs constructed from Cerebro, made up of file combinations from all the mutants Cerebro knows.  So Rapture is a combination of Angel and Mystique; Landslide is a combination of Sabretooth and Blob; etc.  I can’t remember if this is from future issues, or if I just read this theory somewhere online.  I guess we’ll see.

There is a nice conflict here, not between the two teams, but with the idea of the X-Men’s identities being robbed from them, both by these new villains and the unfortunate circumstances that have left them down and out.  Kelly manages to make it feel significant that the X-Men are reclaiming their agency and their purpose.  Again, all the X-Men just feel perfectly characterized, and although their villains here are forgettable, the stakes of being supplanted or made obsolete feels very real.  It’s nowhere near as good a starting point as X-Men #70 was, but this is admittedly a likeable cast, and both writers have a strong handle on them.

B+

Uncanny X-Men #360

Uncanny X-Men #360

Writing: Steve Seagle

Art: Chris Bachalo

What Went Down: On the anniversary of Magneto’s first battle with the X-Men in Uncanny X-Men #1, a news reporter is covering the controversial launching of the Benassi rocket.  While the government insists it is just carrying camera equipment, skeptics are protesting the secrecy of the project and the nuclear components on the rocket. 

A mysterious bald figure in a wheelchair is collecting a new team of mutants to help him save the world.  There is the Grey King, a graduate assistant with telepathic dampening powers; Chaos, an autistic who can shoot psycho-plasmic force blasts; Mercury, who has liquid metal limbs; Rapture, a nun who is blue and has angel wings; Crux, an ice skater who can shoot fire and ice; and Landslide, a giant brawler.  At the end of the recruitment we see that it is none other than Professor X inviting the mutants to join the X-Men.

On a cruise ship named Titania, Colossus, Kitty Pryde, and Nightcrawler are enjoying a vacation after the disbanding of Excalibur.  The group discusses how it is the anniversary of the X-Men going public, and the ways that this event changed their lives.  Their reverie is interrupted by the new X-Men, who attack the cruise ship.  While Nightcrawler evacuates passengers and Colossus tries to plug a hole created by the fake X-Men, Kitty is captured by the group.

In the sewers of Washington D.C., Marrow, Rogue, Storm, and Wolverine are fighting a high tech security system.  Finding a door with an X on it, the group enters it to find a room outside a lab.  Although they were invited by sometime X-ally Peter Corbeau, it appears Corbeau has been abducted.  A tape left at the crime scene incriminates the X-Men. 

In a bunker in the Florida swamps, the evil X-Men are holed up with the captured Kitty.  Kitty is shocked that the mutants call themselves X-Men, and even more shocked to find that they have intimate knowledge of the real X-Men.  Professor X shows up to chastise Kitty for her behavior.

Inside the Lincoln Memorial, the four remaining X-Men meet with Val Cooper to discuss Corbeau’s disappearance.  Val offers the X-Men resources to help them clear their name.  Over in Salem, Nightcrawler and Colossus have gone to the mansion to enlist the help of the other X-Men.  The mansion is empty except for a shotgun wielding Cecilia Reyes, who is housesitting for the team.  After a brief misunderstanding, Cecilia leads the two heroes to the hanger where the original Blackbird is being housed after it was salvaged in Uncanny #353.  Kurt thinks he can fix it.

Back in Florida, Xavier tells Kitty that he cannot access his emotions because Bastion attempted to bind his functions to a computer with a virus.  Xavier’s detached behavior worries Kitty, as does the fact that he didn’t just ask for her help.  On the X-Men’s borrowed jet, the team observes a press conference outside the Cape Citadel rocket launch where a US director is seemingly assassinated.  We then get a scene where some shadowy government figures discuss how this was a fake distraction to take people’s attention away from what is really on the rocket.

Kitty manages to purge the virus from the computer.  Xavier rewards her by having his X-Men recapture her and prepare her for storage.  Up in the sky, the X-Men’s plane is dismantled in the air.  They assume Magneto is attacking, but it’s actually the fake X-Men.  A mid-air battle takes place, but Storm and Rogue lose their powers due to the Grey King.  Wolverine is left plummeting to the ground, but he is saved by Nightcrawler.  After saving the rest of the team, the Blackbird is shot down by Mercury.  

How It Was:  I had assumed I was done with gimmicky shiny foil cover double-sized issues, but lo and behold here we have two in a row.  Uncanny X-Men #360 and X-Men #80 are celebrating the 35^th anniversary of Uncanny X-Men #1; to my recollection these are the end of the foil-cover era for the X-Men.  These issues also mark some drastic changes to the books, mostly forced upon the writers by editors.  The team has been scaled back to a core cast of seven regulars, Uncanny and X-Men tie into each other regularly making for essentially a bi-weekly reading experience, and the former members of Excalibur are being shuffled back on the team. 

I’m torn about the inclusion of Nightcrawler, Kitty, and Colossus.  On the one hand I’m overjoyed as an X-Men fan to see them since these characters haven’t been on the main X-Men team in almost a decade (Excalibur lasted 125 issues).  On the other hand, it’s clear there is no real reason or story behind having them back on the team—somebody just thought it would be neat, which it is.  But there is something to be said for picking a cast because of potential stories to do and picking a team because people like the characters.  Worst of all, the majority of the new X-Men (Maggott and Cecilia), who had tons of story potential as the characters grew into their heroic roles, have completely been thrown out without any warning.  I really liked both these characters and the books feel more directionless without them.

But I should probably talk about the comic itself.  It’s double-sized, and fairly padded out, although there are some nice action sequences towards the end. A lot of the fluff revolves around the tedious newscaster exposition scenes that just aren’t very interesting.  There’s an incomprehensible attempt to make them more relevant by having a government conspiracy with a faked assassination that makes no sense at all.  If you wanted people to not pay attention to you’re high profile satellite launch, pretending to kill a member of the staff seems like it would be counterproductive.  Having the story take place at Cape Citadel is a nice call back to the first issue of the series, but many of these scenes feel tiresome, constantly reminding the reader about the rocket and that mutants are a divisive issue.  There’s a whole four-page sequence with Val Cooper that serves no purpose other than to say out loud that the X-Men are still hated and mistrusted, and for Val to give the X-Men a TV and a plane.  Also, the necessity of Kitty to “Xavier’s” plan seems arbitrary.

While I really like the homage to Giant-Sized X-Men #1 with Xavier collecting his new team, none of the characters really stand out.  Most of them do feel derivative, although that does tie into their origins, and none of them really come off as likable or menacing.  Plus Chaos, the autistic character, speaks in these one-word fragments, and I’ve never known any autistic person to do that.  Strangely it is played for comedy most of the time; Nightcrawler even mocks him for it at one point in the story.

Bachalo does a great job making the cruise ship and air battles seem frantic and chaotic.  The X-Men versus guns in the sewer feels a little forced for the sake of action, and I don’t understand how a door in the sewer leads to a vent on the surface where the X-Men can see the hole their friend was abducted in.  Peter Corbeau is pulled out from comic limbo for no other purpose then he was a scientist in that one space story in the seventies.  You know, the Phoenix Saga. 

The mystery over Xavier’s cold demeanor does work really well, and it’s about time the books actually addressed what is up with Charles.  And although I still think the Excalibur recruits feel forced onto this team, they do get some nice moments.  I enjoy the discussion of life without the X-Men where Kurt realizes he’d probably be dead.  There is also a sense of exhilaration from the team when Colossus and Nightcrawler first show up to save them. 

This issue could work a little better as a normal-sized issue.  Take away some of the exposition from the newscaster and Val Cooper, maybe a little more time for us to get to know the evil X-Men and care about them one way or the other, and this could’ve been one of the greats.  It does succeed in feeling like a new direction, it gets the characters right, and it is bookended by two solid action sequences. 

B-

X-Men #79

X-Men #79
Writing: Joe Kelly

Art: Germain Garica

What Went Down:  The issue opens on Officers Aguinal and Cleveland, who you might remember as the police officers Marrow beat up in X-Men #68, if you’re a fan of inconsequential background characters from comics.  The narration establishes that these two cops have had a string of bad luck since their run in with Marrow. 

Speaking of Marrow, she’s busy on the street terrorizing a young couple for calling her a freak.  After leaving the couple, we learn that Marrow is in a particularly foul mood.  Pursuing the young mutant is Storm and a healthy Callisto.  Both women are worried what Marrow might do since she is so angry.  We get a flashback of Marrow arguing with Storm.  Callisto interrupts to tell Marrow that she needs the young Morlock to stay with the X-Men.  Callisto tells Storm that she wants Marrow to have a shot at life.  Storm notes that Callisto makes a cryptic reference to her own safety, but Callisto ignores her.

Down in the Morlock tunnels, a shadowy figure is going to Callisto’s room to give her an injection.  Of course Callisto isn’t there, so this causes the figure to become angry, worrying about the effects on his agenda.  Marrow is off sulking in Battery Park over everybody leaving her.  Cannonball shows up to bring Marrow home.  Marrow is elated that he cares, but proceeds to attack him anyway.  Meanwhile the cops interview the attacked couple, and they both realize that the girl being described is Marrow.

At the mansion, Beast and Maggot are discussing Marrow’s disappearance.  Cecilia bursts in and yells at Maggot because his slugs have eaten her medical books and underpants.  While they fight, Beast wonders if there might be a better place for Maggott to develop his powers.  Above Manhattan, Storm and Callisto debate where Marrow belongs and whether someone can be helped if they don’t want it.  Callisto brings up how Storm tore out one of Marrow’s hearts, which angers the X-Man. 

Cannonball loses track of Marrow, so he pulls out a letter from his brother Josh to reread.  The letter says that Sam’s mother is very sick, and Sam needs to come home.  Marrow attacks Cannonball because she is angry that he is leaving, and the two fight for a bit.  Cannonball explains to Marrow that she isn’t the only one to suffer loss, and the two police officers show up to arrest Marrow.

Maggott chastises his slugs for eating Cecilia’s books and not destroying the evidence.  Beast comes in and suggests to Maggott that he might learn to control his slugs if he were to join Generation X in Massachusetts.

Marrow attacks Officer Cleveland, and Cannonball tries to explain that the cops are just doing their jobs.  Marrow remembers her own anger when she heard Sam on the phone describing how he was leaving.  She asks the officers if they’ve lost anything, and they describe their bad luck and the fear and uncertainty that has gripped them ever since being injured by Marrow. 

Storm and Callisto show up, and Marrow realizes she doesn’t want to be a monster.  Callisto shares a final moment with Marrow before leaving, and Storm vows to be Marrow’s teacher and ally.  Cannonball offers to take Marrow home, and the X-Men fly off.  The two cops decide to return to their old beat, realizing that the monsters aren’t so bad, and we catch a glimpse of the mysterious shadow figure.  He is excited that Marrow has been left alone with the X-Men.

How It Was:  This is the conclusion to Marrow’s drastic redemptive character arc, and although it’s pretty overt and on the nose, it’s still pretty good.  Yes the lesson that actions have consequences and everyone suffers loss seem obvious, but looking at a young girl raised away from civilization, deprived of things we take for granted, it’s just about believable.

Kelly’s dialogue and character interactions are phenomenal.  From Callisto and Storm’s debate that shows their distaste and mutual respect perfectly to Marrow’s naive teenage perceptions of unfairness in the world, every word feels just right.  I love how Storm is meant to confront the perceptions she has of herself in light of the way Marrow fits into her life.  Still, my favorite moment is Maggott yelling at his slugs, and then forcing them to finish off the doctor’s books. 

The inclusion of the two cops from issue #68 seems pretty random and unnecessary, since Marrow has Cannonball to juxtapose her life against and the couple on the street to feel remorseful about, but I guess it does bring closure in a weird way to her first “heroic” act in an X-Men comic.  It’s unclear whether Cleveland and Ag were injured by Marrow, or randomly injured in Operation Zero Tolerance in their flashbacks; obviously it doesn’t matter since Kelly is just laying it on thick for Marrow to learn her lesson.  I can’t really stand these whiny cop characters, but they’re tolerable for one issue.

This issue is notorious for hanging plot threads.  The mysterious creature experimenting on Callisto never gets resolved to my knowledge, just forgotten.  My understanding from interviews is that it was meant to be Dark Beast, in case you’re curious.  Also, it’s clear that Kelly intended for Maggott to join Generation X, but the character only makes a guest appearance in an issue or two before fading into Marvel character limbo. 

This issue is light on action, but heavy on solid characterization.  It’s a shame that this is the last we see of Cecilia and Maggott on the team since there was so much potential left unexplored with those two.  And I personally thought Maggott was really funny.  Still, I think Kelly is to be commended for creating a believable redemption for Marrow, goofy cop characters not withstanding.

B+

X-Men #78

X-Men #78
Writing: Joe Kelly

Art: German Garcia

What Went Down: In New York, people are going insane as the massive psionic event takes place.  Shadow King now has the power to manipulate any mind he wants, and is doing so to create chaos and destruction.  Shadow King explains to the dying Psylocke that he was defeated way back Uncanny #280, but the rise of Onslaught gave him the chance to rise again without Xavier’s noticing.  After tricking Storm into bringing Psylocke, and tricking Psylocke into giving him power, he is prepared to rule the world.  Psylocke’s astral form shatters as Shadow King disappears. 

In another dreamscape, Marrow’s bones return, causing her immense pain.  Shadow King appears in his normal form, offering the three new recruits their hearts’ desires.  Cecilia can be a doctor, Maggott can be a hero who can control his powers, and Marrow can be normal. As this is going on, Psylocke reappears in her shadowy Crimson Dawn form; not even she understands how she survived.  After finding Ainet, Betsy wraps her in the same shadows; apparently these shadows can hide them from the Shadow King. 

As Shadow King messes with the minds of the United Nations, Psylocke and Ainet rescue Storm from her nightmare.  This involves Ainet bolstering Storm’s confidence so she doesn’t blame herself for what’s happened.  Psylocke has also come up with a plan to stop Shadow King.

Later, Psylocke appears to Shadow King.  Shadow King is amused that Betsy is still alive, and offers to make her his queen.  With the villain distracted, Storm and Ainet rescue the new X-Men from the influence they were under.  Marrow wanders off, and saves Cannonball by killing a violent illusion of his father. 

Psylocke sends the other X-Men away as Shadow King reaches out to every mind in the world.  While Shadow King overextends himself, Psylocke is able to attack his “nexus point,” an area that all telepaths must guard because it defines psionic essence.  Psylocke is able to contain the Shadow King, but he warns that if she ever uses her telepathy again, she will release him from this prison. 

Back in the village, the X-Men work to help the dehydrated villagers.  Cannonball thanks Marrow for saving him, and internally she reflects happiness that Sam likes her.  Psylocke explains to Storm that she has lost the use of her telepathy, and Storm reassures her that she will always be part of the X-Men. 

How it Was:  This is a little disappointing after last issue’s set up.  Yes I know I had problems with the set up of the conflict, but the conflict itself is pretty solid—Shadow King has control everyone’s mind and nobody can stop him.  It even works pretty well as an X-Men story since telepathy has pretty much been relegated to the X-Universe.  However problems abound in the fact that the X-Men are supposed to be fighting the Shadow King, and Kelly hasn’t found any creative ways for the team to combat a disembodied psychic entity.  None of the X-Men have anything to do, aside from Psylocke.  Theoretically Storm should have something to do with this story because it’s dealing with her back story, her home, and her main villain, but no; Psylocke does everything, and it’s pretty unsatisfying.

Kelly does get to have some fun here, mostly in the scenes with the villain driving ordinary citizens insane.  These scenes are pretty absurd; it’s more goofy than unsettling, but it adequately sets up the stakes.  It’s also nice to see the recruits coming together a little; I like how Cecilia comes to Marrow’s defense, even though they still “hate” each other.  And I like how Marrow comes to Cannonball’s aid, even if the specifics of how she does it are a little off.  Seeing these bonds just starting to form makes it all the more sad that the direction of the books is going to shift after another issue. 

As for Psylocke herself, well…this is probably the best Psylocke issue I’ve read on this blog, but that really isn’t saying a lot.  The shadowy effect for her does look really cool against the astral plane background, but once again we’re going back to the well of the mysterious Crimson Dawn fixing everything, so I can’t say I’m really interested.  As for her big sacrifice at the end, I can’t say I really care.  Psylocke’s never been a favorite character, and it’s clear she’s only here because the plot needs a teleporter and a telepath.  And while her guilt for causing this big event is nice to see, the end just doesn’t feel very emotional or satisfying.  Maybe it would’ve been more effective if Betsy had been in more than four issues since the Legion Quest story.

It’s too bad this story was so anticlimactic because the art is great, and in theory a lot of the characters should have some interesting reactions to being in Africa.  Instead we get an okay Psylocke story that ends with her finding the Shadow King’s magic defeat button at the end.  This has a lot of holes in it, but at least it doesn’t overstay its welcome like most events today.

C+

X-Men #77

X-Men #77
Writing: Joe Kelly

Art: German Garcia

What Went Down:  We open on a quick flashforward of Storm buried alive with the corpses of her teammates.  That’s a solid attention grabber.  The book then flashes back to Storm explaining the set up to the story.  A village elder named Ainet helped Storm in her past escape her life of thievery and develop her powers to help people.  She’s also a village priestess with magic powers, hence the talking sand statue from last issue.  Storm insists that this is her problem, but the other X-Men decide they want to help her.

Psylocke shows up randomly, along with her recently acquired plot convenient teleportation powers; Marrow also gets pulled along by Wolverine.  Psylocke allows the X-Men to travel to Africa.  When they come out the other side of the portal, Psylocke and Wolverine have been separated from the others, and they are being attacked by tribesman made out of sand with web patterns on their bodies.  Wolverine vanishes in the middle of the fight.

The rest of the X-Men discover Storm’s village.  Cannonball gets sucked in the ground, while the rest find that the villagers are all in catatonic trances.  Ainet appears, but she is under the influence of Anansi, the spider/trickster god. 

Meanwhile, Cannonball has found himself in a mine from his childhood in Kentucky.  Sam also finds the zombified corpse of his father waiting to kill him.  Back in the real world, Storm and the new recruits face Anansi.  Anansi knocks Maggott, Cecilia, and marrow into comas, causing Storm to attack him.  In another dream world, the group is shocked to find Marrow without any bones coming out of her.  Anansi appears to offer them their desires; he also shows that Wolverine has been devolved into a dog.

Psylocke catches up with Storm and attacks Anansi.  She tells Storm that Anansi is a high level telepath, and he is using his powers to control Ainet, and in turn the sand that she controls.  Anansi taunts Psylocke for her nature as second stringer and a haunted, broken character.  Betsy takes Storm to the astral plane to do battle with Anansi.  As Psylocke and Anansi battle, Ainet warns Storm that Anansi is not what he seems.  Storm starts to realize the plan and warn Psylocke, but Anansi banishes Storm as well.  Taunting Psylocke for her continual failures, Psylocke loses it and lashes out. 

At the last moment, Anansi disappears and is replaced by a cage.  For some reason, this act sets off a huge psychic backlash that destroys Psylocke’s astral form.  We are also told through exposition that the feedback of this chain reaction is unlike any other ever experienced, and it affects telepaths and intuitives all across the world.  The final page reveals that Anansi is actually the Shadow King, and this has all been part of his master plan. 

How It Was:  This is part one of an “event” called Psi-War that is meant to shake the foundations of the X-Men.  Right away I like it a heck of a lot more than most modern events because it’s only two issues long.  So it doesn’t drag out and it goes at a pretty decent pace.  Plus it’s got a relatively small cast, so it doesn’t feel too crowded.

That said, the mechanics of this story are a little wonky.  I think it’s pretty ambitious to create an event that effectively dampens telepaths.  After all when you think about it, telepaths are super powerful and can pretty much take out any hero or villain by thinking at them.  The problem comes in that I can’t really tell you how Shadow King brings about this psychic event that leaves him the uncontested ruler of the astral plane; it just sort of happens.  There is some vague explaining about Shadow King arranging synapses to focus and amplify power, but really the plot doesn’t make sense.  Shadow King gets Psylocke to stab something, and all psychics lose their powers while Shadow King can now control everyone’s mind.

Even more strange, Psylocke shows up for this story out of nowhere, and unlike Archangel, nobody is accusing her of ignoring the team and abandoning her responsibilities.  She just shows up like nothing is wrong and uses her plot-convenient powers to forward the story.  What’s really strange is that Shadow King’s plan has focused on Storm for the last couple of issues as the package has traveled to the mansion.  All of a sudden the plot shifts to focus on Psylocke, which couldn’t have been the initial plan since Psylocke isn’t even around that much.  This story has been promoted as a Storm story, but it’s really a Psylocke story that comes out of nowhere.  It just doesn’t seem like the plan makes a lot of sense.

All right, let’s push the plot nitpicking aside.  This book has some great visuals; the design for Anansi is superb, as is the scene with Storm buried alive.  And while it’s clear that nobody but Storm and Psylocke has a purpose in this story, there are one or two nice moments for the other characters, like Marrow’s reaction to life without her bones. 

This is a great idea for how to use continuity; having stories affect the Marvel Universe as a whole, without reader understanding being dependent on knowledge of the set up stories.  And while I like a lot of the visuals here, you can’t escape the fact that this is a Storm story that Psylocke has been shoe horned into, with absolutely no purpose for the rest of the X-Men.  It’s nice to see more classic villains wheeled out, but it’s just really odd to see so much emphasis on Psylocke after she’s been gone or in the background for so long.  

B-

X-Men #76

X-Men #76
Writing: Joe Kelly

Art: Mat Broome

What Went Down:  Cecilia Reyes is busy conducting a physical on Marrow to make sure there was no permanent damage from the battle with the N’garai.  Of course they don’t get along.  Cannonball accidentally walks in and is embarrassed.  Everyone wonders where Maggott is.

Maggott is actually hiding in the attic, trying to avoid a physical exam.  Wolverine catches him and explains that hiding doesn’t help his credibility.  Maggott decides to tell the story of his origin in order to explain why he doesn’t like doctors. 

Maggott grew up in South Africa.  He was the second youngest son of a family with five children.  During his childhood, Japheth, as he was called, was chronically sick and his family spent lots of money they didn’t have on treatments and medicine.  One day the boy overheard his mother praying for his death, so Japheth decided to go out to the desert in a jeep and kill himself.  The only problem was that his younger brother Daniel was asleep in the back.  Japheth and Daniel try to walk back, but the heat overwhelms them.

We get an interlude with Storm finally picking up the mail for the school, including the package for her that has been floating around for five or so issues now.  Maggott continues his story, and we learn that Magneto just happened to be flying across the African desert.  He stops to help the boys, realizes Japheth is a mutant, and uses his magnetic powers to release the boy’s powers, his two slugs.  All are surprised that the slugs burst out of his stomach, yet the hole closes afterwards.  Japheth also turns blue for the first time as the slugs devour an animal.

Magneto takes the boys home, but when they arrive, they find that the revolts against apartheid have finally gotten violent.  Japheth’s brother Lot has been killed, and his father is in the middle fighting the authorities.  Japheth begs Magneto to save his father and the community, but he is horrified when Magneto uses his powers to not just stop, but also kill all of the oppressors.  Magneto leaves young Japheth, who is celebrated for bringing Magneto to save them. 

Maggott finishes his story by explaining that his slugs are his digestive system.  In order to eat, his slugs have to eat for him, and then jump into him in a very painful process.  Maggott says there is more to his story, but Wolverine tells him there is plenty of time for that.  Just then Storm shows up to chastise both guys for being in her room.  Storm opens the package for her and reveals a talking statue of a woman name Ainet, who raised Storm, telling her that people are dying in her home. 

How It Was: Well this issue is touted as the “Tragic Origin of Maggott,” and I can’t say it’s really all that tragic.  It does start with some excellent character moments from Marrow, Cannonball, and the rest at the beginning.  I love how Marrow yells at Sam while trying to flash him against his will.  Kelly does a lot with these scenes: there’s conflict, animosity, flirtation, and just plain fun.  And once again it’s nice to see that we’re getting more of all the new characters, not just Maggott, in this one.

As for the origin itself…it’s not the worst.  Maybe I’m biased; given the fan feedback I’ve read, sometimes I feel like I’m the only fan who liked Maggott.  He’s goofy and mysterious; it’s nice to see characters join a team without everything known about them.  I like that this takes place in apartheid South Africa, a modern setting that just screams out the importance of the themes in the X-Men—fighting for equality and acceptance.  And the idea of Maggott’s condition being a burden on his family is a nice sympathetic touch that mirrors the struggles of millions of families across the world with inadequate health care.  Once again, social and historical relevance is nice to see—it worked wonders for Magneto’s character in the 70s and 80s.  All in all this starts out as a very modern origin.

Then we get to the part where Magneto just happens to be in South Africa for no reason, and he decides to take a break and magically start Maggott’s powers.  It’s a heck of a coincidence, and it sort of degrades to the “saved by angry mob” that most heroes and villains start at.  After all, Magneto’s own kids Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch were saved from a mob by Magneto.  Moreover, this situation creates more questions than answers about the nature of Maggott’s relationship with Magneto—questions that Wolverine should probably be bringing up, like if Maggott ever worked for the Master of Magnetism. 

As for the tragedy part, the fact that Maggott has to absorb his slugs isn’t really that sad.  Similar to my problems with issue #74, the body horror aspect could be interesting, but we’re never really allowed to see what’s happening.  The art shows off some nice African landscapes, although I really do not like the cover; I get that it’s reflecting traditional African depictions of people in tribal art, but I can’t see the distorted image jumping out and selling the book to new readers.

It’s a shame that Maggot disappears in a few issues.  Even though his origin wasn’t that dramatic, it does present him in a sympathetic light.  It feels like the story after this one is the one that Kelly wanted to tell, but never got the chance to.

B-