X-Men #54

X-Men #54
Writing: Mark Waid
Art: Andy Kubert

What Went Down: Outside the mansion, Cannonball is sitting up in a tree watching Xavier in his study. Cyclops walks by, and empathizes with Sam about how hard the Professor can be on his students. He brushes off the weird behavior as something bigger just bothering Xavier. Oddly, a charged card seems to whiz by Cyclops while he’s talking, only to reveal Gambit and the rest of the X-Men searching for Juggernaut on the school grounds. Cyclops decides that Xavier is too stressed, and shouldn’t be alerted unless absolutely necessary, so the team splits up to look around.

In the psi-shielded chamber, Juggernaut states his admiration that Xavier would fake his own death and act like such a creep. Jean starts reading his mind, but realizes that Juggernaut left the door open, so Onslaught could still know what they were doing. When she shuts it, her telepathic bond with Cyclops is severed, worrying him. Sam wonders why they don’t just use Cerebro to find Juggernaut, but Storm explains that he’s a human. Iceman asks Beast if he remembers their first encounter with the villain, and of course he gets the details wrong.

Meanwhile in Jersey, the authentic Beast is finally breaking free of the chains in his cell. He goes through the trap door, only to be stopped by some people behind him. At the mansion, Cyclops bursts through the doors to Xavier’s study to tell him about the severed psionic link. Xavier notes that he can no longer sense her either, but he seems unworried about it. Cyclops discovers that Xavier is researching Franklin Richards, the son of Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Woman of the Fantastic Four. Xavier claims he doesn’t remember pulling up that data. He agrees to search for Jean, and tells Scott to turn off the defenses when he learns about the Juggernaut’s presence.

In the chamber, Cain relives the experience of finding the Cyttorak Gem and turning into Juggernaut. In his mind, he and Jean focus on a black obelisk that represents the memory block. In the study, Xavier contemplates all his recent failures. A news report shows that one of the teens responsible for killing the mutant back in X-Men: Prime has been arrested. He gives a racist statement, causing Xavier to smash the TV and trash his office.

Jean discovers who Onslaught is, even though Juggernaut still doesn’t know. Instead of telling him who it is, she just tells him to run. Leaving the chamber without his helmet, Juggernaut’s perceptions are warped M.C. Escher-style. Terrified, Cain seeks out his stepbrother, only to find his hoverchair empty. Onslaught grabs him, stabs him in the stomach, and pulls out the Cyttorak Gem, as well as revealing that Xavier and Onslaught are the same person. Then Xavier summons the X-Men to his study.

How It Was: Low and behold, this issue opens with Cannonball, former leader of the “edgier” X-book—X-Force, pouting in a tree after being yelled at by Xavier. This is the kind of thing that drove fans crazy in the 90s, but the X-office continued to write him as a wet-behind-the-ears novice until he left the team to go back with X-Force. Meanwhile the X-writers seem intent to giveaway the reveal at the end of the issue by having Xavier act so over the top evil towards Cyclops that any other reveal for Onslaught wouldn’t have made any sense. Plus the rest of the X-Men are searching for Juggernaut, so they have nothing to do for the entire issue.

Waid goes for a horror movie motif with Jean and Juggernaut, building the tension of whether the monster will find them until he jumps out and “stabs” Juggy to “death.” Unfortunately, like a horror movie, we get the main characters making lots of stupid decisions, such as leaving the door to the psi-proof room open, or having the pair split up after Jean learns the bad guy’s identity and chooses not to share it with her ally. It all comes off as rather dumb and plot convenient, plus Juggernaut is once again being wheeled out to make Onslaught look more impressive by comparison, exactly like the issue twelve months ago.

Also, most of the Jean/Juggernaut sequences are made up of unnecessary flashbacks and exposition about past stories to pad the issue out until the writer can get to the end. Waid seems to be leaning particularly hard on the Z’Nox story as an example of a less virtuous Xavier to somehow justify his transformation into Onslaught, which seems unnecessary, but maybe they were still creating the character as they were going.

And at least having Xavier as Onslaught leads to some interesting story ideas. If you want to talk about a huge anti-climax, then we’ll talk about the Beast’s plot line. Here he breaks his chains (why wouldn’t he have done this first thing?) and escapes through the trapdoor, only to be recaptured a couple of pages later. How’s that for plot progression? Very, Very Tiring. This is a very weak ending, or beginning depending on how you look at it. The identity of the main villain is pretty much a gimme, and all the other characters are pretty much running around in circles or filling up panels to get to that spoiled ending.

C

Uncanny X-Men #334

Uncanny X-Men #344
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down: Juggernaut emerges from a lake near the Xavier Institute. He swims underwater again and takes out some cameras. Up in the actual mansion, Bishop is trying to fix Cerebro after it overloaded in X-Men #51. He recognizes the technology from his time, but wonders what happened to stunt technology development to such a degree, which doesn’t make sense since Cerebro is obviously far more advanced than any other computer of its time. Gambit pops in, and Bishop calls him Remy for the first time. They discuss how Sinister’s attack in X-Men #52 reassured Bishop that he wasn’t crazy, and then an intruder alarm goes off, so they go to check it out.

Cyclops is in the Danger Room, shooting a bunch of drones. Jean bursts in, telling him they need to talk. She tells him about Onslaught’s attack on her, and that as time passes she remembers less and less. When Scott suggests going to Xavier, she becomes scared and tells him to wait. In Colorado, Archangel is trying to contact the mansion, but having no luck. This is odd, since Juggernaut destroyed his home last month in X-Men #53, so it’s probably a mistake on the writers’ parts. Psylocke is also unable to contact them with her telepathy, but she says it might be due to the Crimson Dawn. They decide to go to Westchester.

In Xavier’s study, Cannonball is telling the Professor how he feels guilty for not preventing Wolverine’s transformation in Wolverine #100. Xavier overreacts, yells at the youth for being so weak, and dismisses him.

Bishop and Gambit take a water skimmer out to the lake to find the disturbance. The Juggernaut attacks and knocks them both out. In Beast’s lab, the Dark Beast is examining Wolverine while Iceman and Storm watch. Dark Beast points out the ludicrousness of his counterpart's role in the X-Men, wondering how many scientific duties he was asked to perform at a given time. Wolverine breaks free of the restraints and runs off. Storm goes after him, but she is interrupted by Cannonball, who wants to talk about the Professor.

Bastion shows up backstage at a Graydon Creed rally and tells him off for stupidly attacking Senator Kelly last issue. Jean goes into the lake house, but discovers Gambit and Bishop unconscious on the floor. Juggernaut appears and tells her he’s not there to fight. He asks for Jean’s help because he knows Onslaught’s identity, but he can’t remember it. As a sign of good faith, he removes his helmet.

In the War Room, Xavier is going over files on the Age of Apocalypse’s Nate Grey, who attacked him in X-Man #10—a quote/unquote pivotal battle. Cyclops shows up because Xavier sent for him, and Xavier proceeds to tell him how big of a disappointment he is. He then tells Scott to stay strong, and reveals himself to be a telepathic projection. On the comlink, Xavier tells him that this was a test.

Jean takes Juggernaut to an underground, psi-shielded chamber that Xavier used to prepare for the Z’nox Invasion, back when he faked his own death.

The issue concludes by announcing that X-Men #54 will reveal the identity of Onslaught, but you’ve probably already figured it out from the previous page. There’s also a section recapping all of the previous mentions of Onslaught from the other X-Books, even though next month they’ll all be made trivial.

How It Was: This marks pretty much the height of the Bishop/Gambit bromance. After Onslaught, Gambit moves onto a love triangle with Rogue and Joseph while Bishop does nothing for a while before being blasted into space…seriously. But it has been kind of nice seeing the former enemies’ friendship grow, even if its sole purpose is to make the X-traitor subplot relevant again for the big reveal during Onslaught. Sure, having Bishop call Gambit “Remy” is a little sappy, but for what it is it works. And it means that Bishop will finally stop whining about his visions and dreams from another world. Unlike last time, the Juggernaut gets to show off his power by easily overpowering the X-Men and not acting like a hysterical girl, as he did in Uncanny #322.

Lobdell and Waid must have gone through all the original X-Men issues looking for ideas, because this issue brings us a plot device from the long, long forgotten Z’nox plotline of Uncanny #65. Once again while it is a neat little Easter egg for diehard fans, I doubt many people remembered, or even were familiar with, this obscure nod to the sixties. What’s really great is seeing Jean take such an active role in the series after being Cyclops’ partner for so long. Her conflict over whether to trust Xavier is very well handled. There is definitely a feeling of intensity, even now, in her scenes with Juggernaut as she worries about Onslaught discovering them.

However, the mystery is pretty much ruined by the fact that the writers have dropped almost all pretenses to the fact that Xavier is Onslaught. I guess his lashing out could be viewed potentially as Onslaught just manipulating him, but I think it’s pretty clear with the way he handles Cannonball at his desk that he’s being set up as a bad guy in all of this. Oh, and even though I’m really starting to dislike Dark Beast’s plot, I love how he points out how many jobs the real Beast does for the X-Men; he’s a biologist, chemist, medical doctor, virologist, mechanic, and physicist whenever the story necessitates it.

The fact that Archangel and Psylocke are fine in Warren’s house in Colorado is a pretty glaring error. On top of that, the narrative is still talking about Warren’s wing injuries, which is really getting old. And Psylocke is already starting to blame plot mechanics on the plot device that is the Crimson Dawn, a bad trend that just gets worse from here on out. Betsy’s acting weird? Crimson Dawn. She’s got new powers that are necessary for the plot to move on? Crimson Dawn? She can’t do something she normally does? It’s probably the Crimson Dawn. On the other hand, having Bastion call Graydon Creed out for being a moron is pretty entertaining to read.

Overall, the middle chapter in the Onslaught setup trilogy proves to be uneven. The mystery of Onslaught’s identity almost seems futile at this point due to the writing, and Psylocke and Archangel’s participation seems peripheral at best. Some decent character moments make this a little above mediocre, and it does set up everything nicely for the finale, anticlimactic as it is.

C+

X-Men #53

X-Men #53
Writing: Mark Waid
Art: Andy Kubert

Note: See X-Men Unlimited #11 next

What Went Down: Jean Grey is out shopping for clothes. She seems to be having difficulty keeping people’s thoughts out of her mind when she is telepathically forced to the astral plane by Onslaught, who now has an actual character design. Onslaught claims that he’s ushering in a flashpoint in human-mutant relations and shows Jean that her body has also disappeared from the store. Many of the people have unflattering thoughts about her. Onslaught appears to destroy the store, but reveals it as an illusion in the next panel.

In New Jersey, the real Beast is being held in a dungeon by the Dark Beast. Beast accidentally breaks his water source, but this reveals a trap door in the floor. Onslaught takes Jean to Graydon Creed’s campaign headquarters to reveal the hypocrisy of humanity. We discover that Creed’s campaign manager doesn’t really care about the anti-mutant cause, but that he is willing to persecute the mutant race just for a chance to get to the White House. Jean tells Onslaught she’s aware of people like this, which is why she surrounds herself with people she can trust.

In Colorado, Psylocke is in bed, still screaming as a result of the shadows around her. From the shadows, the Juggernaut emerges (I believe this is his return from the Malibu Exiles’ universe). Juggy wonders where he is. Strangely, Betsy says she scanned his mind even though his helmet is still on. Juggernaut announces that he knows an important secret, but he can’t remember it, so he destroys the cabin instead. Then he begins his journey to Westchester because he says he can only trust one person with his mind.

Onslaught takes Jean to the X-mansion, where they journey inside Xavier’s mind effortlessly. Onslaught accuses Xavier of being just as big a hypocrite as the rest of the humans. Jean claims they have a special bond, citing the instance in the sixties where Xavier faked his death, but shared his secret with only her. Onslaught shakes her image of Xavier by showing her Xavier’s thoughts from Uncanny X-Men #3 (1963), where a thought balloon actually did mention that Xavier was in love with Jean. Onslaught infers that Xavier just repressed this feeling like every other negative emotion he has. On the astral plane, Onslaught covers Jean in green slime to symbolize all of Xavier’s fears and negative feelings.

Over in South Carolina, Joseph—the de-aged, former Magneto, has stumbled upon a community picnic outside. They seem friendly, but there is a sinister undertone to the whole scene.

Back on the astral plane, Onslaught compares himself to the Phoenix Force and asks Jean to join him. Jean refuses, and they fight. Jean asks who he is, but he tells her that she already knows before soundly defeating her. She reappears in the dressing room at the store, and the final page has an effect of Onslaught’s name being burned onto her head, but this isn’t supposed to be literal.

How It Was: This is our first real look at Onslaught, since the X-staff finally decided on what the heck he actually is. It’s a pretty cool design, and Waid succeeds in making Onslaught appear menacing and calculating. At this point, the villain still feels like he actually has a purpose beyond being evil. Here he’s someone I want to read more about.

Jean Grey is a good choice for him to reveal himself to because she hasn’t really had that much to do since before Age of Apocalypse. This issue is solid, although there are some inconsistencies in the story: we never find out why Jean’s body disappears when she goes to the astral plane, and we don’t know why the racist blond cashier knows that Jean is from the Xavier Institute. Still Onslaught does make an interesting case for the weakness of people by bringing up how what they do and how they feel are often in direct conflict with one and other. Not all his examples are super—I feel like the employees are allowed to assume Jean is a shoplifter if she disappears from the store, but the theme of the story is still solid. Also, I’m not sure what is up with Onslaught’s name being burned into Jean’s head; I think it’s a figurative way of showing how Onslaught messed with her head, possibly also explaining how she starts to forget events later.

And Onslaught also has a good point in bringing up that Xavier is as fallible as anyone else, despite being placed on a pedestal by the X-Men. Once again, while the main idea is intriguing, the examples given are kind of weak. Jean seems convinced that since Xavier told her about his fake death, it doesn’t make him a hypocrite, when really it makes both of them hypocrites for hiding this fact from the rest of their teammates. Waid also digs up an obscure quote from 1963 that paints Xavier in a more lecherous light. Yes, it did happen, but it’s obvious that Stan Lee dropped the concept shortly after because even he realized that it was a little creepy. Plus there are more contemporary examples that could’ve been used instead of dragging out this oddity that really has no bearing on the Professor’s character at all.

The Psylocke/Archangel thread is still a mess, but at least something happens. Juggernaut shows up, appearing from shadows for some reason, and trashes Warren’s cabin for the heck of it, in spite of the fact that he wants help from the X-Men. Worst of all, Warren’s cabin appears perfectly fine in the next issue of Uncanny, even though the entire cabin is clearly totaled in this comic. This whole part really makes no sense whatsoever. As for the Beast, it’s nice to see him alive, but he doesn’t get a whole lot to do other than stumble onto a way out that goes nowhere (plotwise). Joseph shows up just long enough to tease his appearance in X-Men Unlimited, where, in a heck of a coincidence, he meets up with Rogue, who just happens to be in the same small town in South Carolina as he is.

The main ideas in this issue work really well, and Onslaught is just new enough to seem novel. It’s just in the little details and subplots where the issue drops the ball. It’s nice that Waid is trying to make use of continuity, but by picking something that so few writers have chosen to acknowledge, the reveal doesn’t really carry as much weight; his experiences with Amelia Voght would have fit in nicely. Still, this is the best that Onslaught ever comes off, so that is an accomplishment in it of itself.

B

X-Force #55

X-Force #55
Writing: Jeph Loeb
Art: Adam Pollina

What Went Down: We open on Shatterstar holding Meltdown, formerly Boom Boom, right above one of the SHIELD Hellicarrier’s engines. She throws a time-bomb in and counts it down. On the bridge, Dum-Dum Dugan is in charge; G.W. Bridge is currently running SHIELD because I believe Nick Fury died over in the Hulk series. Anyway, alarms start going off and Dugan starts yelling at people. A shadowy figure tells Dugan that he’ll take care of it and that mutants fall under his jurisdiction. Contessa Valentina shows up to tell Dugan not to freak out.

In other parts of the Hellicarrier, different squads of X-Force members break in. Cable is teamed with Caliban, who is tasked with locating a particular mutant. Cable brings up some recent X-Force events while they walk. Domino and Siryn discover a load of invisible lasers, but Dom is able to use her luck powers to avoid them while shooting out all the weapons emplacements.

Meltdown and Shatterstar are attacked by some SHIELD troops, but Meltdown discovers they’re all LMDs, so they can use lethal force on the robots. After defeating them, Tabitha searches the ship’s databases and discovers that Sabretooth is still alive, but his location is classified. She blows up the computer because she is still angry about Sabretooth’s betrayal of her sympathies.

Back on the bridge, Dum-Dum yells at his people some more. As X-Force makes their way through the ship, they tear out a variety of systems. Caliban leads Cable to a big round door, saying they’re objective is behind it. Cable contacts the rest of the team to meet them there, and they proceed to combine they’re powers to open the door. Inside, they find Cyclops strapped to a machine. Also, SHIELD has surrounded X-Force while they were opening the door.

G.W. Bridge appears to tell X-Force that Cyclops is a prisoner of the U.S. government. The team pretends to surrender, but Cable uses his powers to free Cyclops of his headpiece allowing him to take out all the SHIELD soldiers with his optic blasts. Bridge is the only one left standing, so Cable punches him out. The team escapes, and Jean Grey picks them all up in a jet. She shares a kiss with Cyclops afterwards.

In an epilogue, Warpath is enjoying a relaxing beach vacation with Risque after disappearing during a battle in a previous issue. The cliffhanger is that he doesn’t know if he wants to leave Risque to rejoin the team.

How It Was: Well, this feels like an unnecessary detour. Granted, it’s not taking up an X-Men issue, but it’s still hard to see why any of this was necessary. We never get to find out why the Friends of Humanity turn Cyclops over to SHIELD or what Kelly’s huge secret was. I also can’t picture X-Force fans being thrilled about having all the book’s plot lines derailed for a meaningless crossover with Uncanny X-Men.

Still, parts of this story still work as a kind of big, dumb heist caper. It’s nice to see the members of X-Force working together to infiltrate the ship so effectively, and there’s some decent action and interactions. Since I’m primarily an X-Men fan, it’s nice to see Meltdown following up on Sabretooth since that’s one of the few character arcs I’m familiar with. Almost everyone clearly has one or two subplots they’re going through, which is nice, but I get the distinct feeling that none of them are furthered with this issue. Also, I don’t like how Domino’s power becomes a plot device to easily overcome any obstacle.

The main problems come from the fact that the whole issue is dedicated to solely rescuing Cyclops and the incompetent portrayal of SHIELD. Yes there is some alluding to factional infighting within the organization, but SHIELD still comes off as being run by a bunch of idiots, which is usually the case when they’re in any book other than they’re own. All Dum-Dum Dugan does is yell for the whole issue, and as far as being worthless goes, the same goes for G.W. Bridge. It’s exciting to see that Bastion might get involved, but then he disappears after the beginning of the book and nothing comes of his telling off Dugan at all.

This is not really where the story in Uncanny #333 needed to go. It feels like a needless distraction for X-Force, and it’s hard to get excited about SHIELD in the 90s without Nick Fury. This feels like a competent team book, but it turns out to be nothing special, which is a shame since this was a golden opportunity to gain more readers. You can almost feel how hard this series wants to be X-Men with the logo at the top of the cover, or at the very least recapture its initial popularity.

C+

Uncanny X-Men #333

Uncanny X-Men #333
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Pascual Ferry

What Went Down: In his Virginia mansion, Senator Robert Kelly acts super edgy and waves around a gun, looking for someone. He finds Cyclops, who the Senator had called earlier. Kelly reveals that he is aware of members of Xavier’s Mutant Underground, but Cyclops doesn’t really care. Then Kelly begs for Cyclops’ help.

Above the Pentagon, the X-Men are hovering in the cloaked Blackbird while Jean Grey and Gambit infiltrate the building to learn about Operation Zero Tolerance. Cannonball compares the stunt to something he would’ve committed in X-Force, which honors Storm, while Dark Beast tries to maintain his identity in front of Iceman and Professor X.

In an underground sub-basement of the Pentagon, Jean is using her telepathy to disguise herself and Gambit. Also, in case you’re wondering, all of the mutant detecting technology in the Pentagon was created by Forge, who told the X-Men how to block it.

In Colorado, Archangel is still recovering from the injury Sabretooth gave him. Psylocke is also recovering, and she is easily able to sneak up on Warren outside. Betsy wonders about the changes the Crimson Dawn has done to her body and mind. Something appears behind Psylocke, asking for help. For some reason this causes Betsy to faint, and when Warren flies down to help her, the pain from his wing causes him to fall unconscious as well.

Back at the Pentagon, Jean marvels at the various politicians and officials assembled. The group is greeted by Bastion, who we are meeting for the first time. He describes Zero Tolerance as a survival task force, and tells the officials that there is a mysterious threat looming known as Onslaught. Also, Jean can’t scan his mind.

In Kelly’s mansion, Kelly is telling Cyclops that he found something after getting involved in Project: Widawake; something to do with the extinction of mutants. They are ambushed by an explosive from the Friends of Humanity. Oh and Graydon Creed is stupid enough to sit in a van outside the attempted assassination of a senator during his presidential campaign.

Over in the Blackbird, Xavier tries to listen to the presentation telepathically; Storm reminds him that he said he was unable to do this, but Xavier brushes her off. In the middle of his presentation on Onslaught, Bastion reveals that he can detect Jean and Remy, so he attacks them. The X-Men are surprised, so they proceed to run away. Gambit blows a hole in the wall, and he and Jean find that all the soldiers outside are sleeping. Onslaught appears to Jean, takes credit for knocking out the soldiers, and tells her that it was a gift.

Finally, Archangel and Psylocke wake up to find a Juggernaut-shaped shadow looming over them.

How It Was: After filling in for Andy Kubert two months previous, Pascual Ferry takes a shot filling in on Uncanny and does a pretty awesome job. While not a whole lot happens this issue, he manages to make Gambit and Jean’s escape look more frantic and action-packed than it actually is; he also sets a great mood with the shadowing in the Cyclops/Kelly sequences, definitely capturing the conspiracy mystery vibe. It’s too bad that there’s never any real payoff from this setup; it seems like Kelly is afraid Operation Zero Tolerance is going to kill him, but later it’s made clear that OZT doesn’t care about him at all, even releasing him after capturing Cyclops.

Really, this issue is setting up the main threat for after the Onslaught crossover, and frankly it’s a nice change of pace to see the X-Office planning these things so far in advance. While Bastion’s presentation only exists to regurgitate plot points from past X-Men issues so they’ll be fresh on people’s minds, the fact that he identifies Gambit and Jean, along with his appearance, adds some mystique to him. The fact that the head of this anti-mutant program is being run by an obvious non-human is very intriguing indeed. Jean and Gambit’s escape also makes for a brief, but well-executed action set piece.

The Archangel/Psylocke thread is a misfire. While it’s nice to check in on them after their injuries, all they do is recap what’s happened to them thus far and pass out. Psylocke is sensing psionic screams because of her exposure to the Crimson Dawn? What does that even mean? And it is very unclear whether Archangel passes out from the pain or crashes into the ground. Either way, neither character comes out of this looking particularly good. In fact, the falling unconscious serves no purpose except to create some anti-climactic tension, since they pick up right where they left off after they wake up. It’s a cheap plot device to postpone the scene for the cliffhanger, and it doesn’t work at all.

There are some nice, but insignificant moments in the Blackbird. It’s becoming clear at this point that the Dark Beast plot has some holes in it; namely, that he’s somehow hiding on a team with three of the world’s most powerful telepaths on it. And while this gets explained by Onslaught later, it still doesn’t answer why the Dark Beast thought this was a good plan in the first place, ignorant of Onslaught as he was. He really had no plan for this? And why is he still on the team after already being captured by Sinister once? Also, it’s about this point that the X-writers start to abandon subtlety as far as the hints that Xavier is Onslaught are concerned. The mystery doesn’t work at all because we’re only presented with one potential suspect who keeps acting more and more disturbed.

This issue crosses over with X-Force #55 for no particular reason; it’s a weak attempt to boost readership of the other X-books. Later we’ll see that many X-titles started having events happen in the completely wrong titles, but more on that later. While the Archangel/Psylocke sequences are panel padding nonsense, the introduction of Bastion goes off really well and succeeds in creating some intrigue in the events to follow Onslaught. Sure, the “hints” at Onslaught’s motivations never make sense in the long run, but as I said before, the focus is mostly on Zero Tolerance for next year.

B+

X-Men #52

X-Men #52
Writing: Mark Waid
Art: Andy Kubert

What Went Down: Continuing from the cliffhanger last issue, Gambit is charging the front car of a runaway train with explosive energy while Bishop yells at him for being crazy. Gambit reveals that his plan is to have Bishop absorb all of the energy until he has enough to release and stop the train. Somehow this actually works, but it leaves both heroes weakened so that Mr. Sinister can easily knock them out.

In South Carolina, Rogue rents an apartment from a single mother; the woman’s son tries to touch her, and she panics. On TV a news report discusses the runaway train with possible mutants witnessed at the scene. The woman comments about how awful mutants are, and Rogue regretfully agrees with her.

At the train station, police are interviewing all of the formerly mutated humans. A shadowy figure in a trenchcoat and hat walks by, and all the cops refer to him as an important government figure named Bastion.

In Sinister’s underground lab, the X-Men are all elaborately restrained. Sinister explains that he was using the train to test the effectiveness of his new mutant virus which creates minions for his disposal. He is also excited because he finally has Bishop in his possession. You see, because Bishop comes from the future, Sinister has no genetic records of him at all. And since Sinister has collected samples of every other genetic mutant ever, that just won’t do.

Sinister has a machine that projects thoughts, so he’s going to use it to learn Bishop’s origins. Dark Beasts panics because he knows that this test will show that he’s not the real Beast, and reveal to Sinister all his secrets from the Age of Apocalypse. Sinister learns about Bishop’s time traveling, the X-traitor, and the Age of Apocalypse while Beast insists that Gambit free them. Beast also notices that Sinister takes an interest in Gambit’s health when Gambit pretends to be coming down with the virus.

As Sinister approaches him, Gambit releases a charged card and blows up the machine, thus freeing his friends and destroying all of Sinister’s samples. The X-Men defeat Sinister in about two pages, and he teleports away. As they walk away, Gambit tells the group that they are just outside of St. Louis. Dark Beast picks up on this and realizes that Gambit must have a connection to Sinister. Rather than tell the X-Men, he decides to keep this information to himself for future use.

How It Was: First off, I’m no physics expert, but I’m ninety percent sure that Gambit’s plan wouldn’t have a chance in hell of working, due to the fact that the locomotive’s engine is continuously running, so any attempt to introduce an equal opposing force would be negated once Bishop’s energy was depleted. Then again, it’s a comic book about people with genetic anomalies that give them super powers, so I guess I don’t have a lot of grounds to judge it on realism.

How much does it suck to be Dark Beast? Getting captured by the one person you’re trying to hide from on your first mission with the X-Men has to be frustrating. Anyways, Bishop gets something of a resolution to his months long beat of hallucinating about the Age of the Apocalypse. After having his experiences confirmed by Sinister, Bishop is finally able to come to terms with them, and they’re rarely ever mentioned again.  It’s not the most satisfying conclusion, but hey, at least it’s something.

The dialogue between Rogue and her racist landlord is some of the worst to ever appear in an X-Men comic. Not only is it an unflattering portrayal of people in South Carolina (“Don’t tell me I’ve done rented to a mutant lover?”), showing yet another human that hates mutants a lot doesn’t really add anything to the story.

There’s also some more cryptic hinting at Gambit’s relationship with Sinister, but most of this is for the benefit of the Dark Beast so he can figure it out on his own. He says that he plans on using this information to his advantage someday, but again he’s going to be disappearing in a couple of issues and the plot point will fade away with him. Sinister’s reaction to capturing Bishop is well-handled, and the fact that Bishop would be his missing link is a nice touch. In fact, the conflict is really well-constructed in that all three mutants have secrets that they don’t want Sinister to discover or share, so the plot is a little more engaging than your standard “captured by a mad scientist” plotline.

An event that should feel more significant is the destruction of Sinister’s life’s work, a collection of every mutant’s genetic samples, by Gambit. Of course, it would be easier to get excited about if it hadn’t already happened a year ago in X-Men #34, and afterwards Sinister just said that he had duplicates. And yeah, this time Sinister is around to agonize about the loss and lash out at the X-Men, but this only lasts for a page until he’s blasted by Bishop and teleports away. This is a pretty easy victory for the X-Men as far as Sinister goes; usually he puts up more of a fight.

While a nice aside, in the long run this two issue story just doesn’t feel that significant. Sure it resolves Bishop’s whining about the Age of Apocalypse, and it features the Dark Beast and Gambit coming into contact with Sinister, but the story just rushes to the end and neither of the villains do anything with the new information they’ve gathered. After all, Sinister had gained knowledge of the future while Dark Beast knew of the villain’s relationship with Gambit, so something could’ve come of this.

B-

X-Men #51

X-Men #51
Writing: Mark Waid
Art: Pascal Ferry

What Went Down: Professor X and Bishop are in the mansion’s war room attempting to fix Cerebro after it was destroyed way back in the Phalanx storyline. Cerebro detects a massive spike in New Jersey before shorting out again. Even though Xavier believes it might be a malfunction, Bishop, Gambit, and Beast are sent out to investigate.

The coordinates lead the X-Men to a commuter train. Upon entering, they find a number of mutant monsters. Throughout all this, Beast keeps making inappropriate jokes because in reality he’s the Dark Beast in disguise. Bishop explains that the monsters are actually mutated humans, and they witness one human turning into a monster, showing that the mutation is contagious.

At the house of Jean Grey’s parents, Cyclops tests Jean’s niece and nephew for telepathy by hiding a quarter. Jean is not very excited to see this because she wants the children to live normal lives. Jean’s parents turn the TV to the news where we see Graydon Creed officially announce his candidacy for President of the United States.

At the mansion, Xavier calls Mutant Underground member Louis St. Croix to discuss the recent turn of events. Xavier cryptically mentions that he may have to take drastic measures against Creed. On the train, our heroes fight the monsters for a while and then split up. Gambit and Bishop head off towards the engine to stop the train while Beast looks for a way to subdue the passengers. Gambit and Bishop find a really big monster waiting for them in the engine.

Incredibly, Dark Beast is able to create an anesthetic from random ingredients on the train; once unconscious, all the monsters become human again. Beast looks over his work, but Mr. Sinister ambushes him; ironically Dark Beast replaced the regular Beast in an attempt to hide from Mr. Sinister. Back at the front of the train, the controls are smashed, so the X-Men have no way to stop it. Gambit gets an idea and begins charging the front car with kinetic energy. Bishop yells at him for creating a speeding bomb.

How It Was: Gambit and Bishop continue their bromance as they team up yet again to stop a crazy train full of monsters. In case you forgot, the writers are trying to keep the X-traitor storyline on our minds, since it’s going to play a big role in the upcoming Onslaught crossover. Mark Waid does a solid job with characters, especially the Dark Beast, but the plot leaves a little something to desire. The entire “turning humans into mutants” angle feels a little too “mad scientist-y” even for Mr. Sinister, and the manner in which the monsters are defeated is too convenient. After all, why would a train have all the chemicals needed for an airborne anesthetic to be created; it’s not like the Beast has a lot of pockets to keep all of those ingredients in.

I’m glad to see that the Dark Beast doesn’t really fit in with the X-Men, and Waid does a great job of capturing his revulsion and paranoia. Still, since the identity theft only lasts another four issues, not a lot comes of this. And I can’t really understand the whole rationale behind it; why would McCoy think that infiltrating the X-Men would keep him safer from Sinister, rather than just staying in hiding? Of course, we discover how terrible his plan actually is when Sinister captures him during his very first mission with the X-Men.

Bishop and Gambit aren’t given a whole lot characterwise, but since they’re both the focus next issue it’s not a big deal. Ferry’s art works surprisingly well with the monsters; he draws them with a very horror comic aesthetic reminiscent of something you might’ve seen back in the days of EC. Graydon Creed’s announcement feels pretty significant, but as we’ll see after Onslaught, it doesn’t go on for too long, so don’t get too excited. It’s an inauspicious debut for Mark Waid, and it’s hard to get since he’s not staying onboard for too long.

C+