X-Men Unlimited #12

X-Men Unlimited #12

Writing: John Francis Moore

Art: Steve Epting and Ariel Olivetti

This takes place after Uncanny #335. After go back to Avengers #401 

.What Went Down:  Dr. Strange’s astral form approaches the X-Mansion, having sensed some great mystical disturbance or something.  Strange casts a spell and discovers that Onslaught did not kill the Juggernaut in X-Men #54, but rather he somehow trapped Cain Marko in the Gem of Cytorrak (in case you couldn’t tell from the cover).  This is strange because Onslaught’s powers are psionic, not mystical, but we’ll soon learn Onslaught can do anything.  While Strange contemplates this, a Chinese symbol appears from a computer screen and is about to attack Strange.  Strange is rescued by Gomurr the Ancient One, the little sage from Uncanny #329-330.  Apparently the symbol was a spider from Gomurr’s nemesis Tar.

Gomurr explains that having Marko in the gem is somehow more dangerous, but refuses Strange’s assistance.  He goes into the gem to look for Juggernaut.  Meanwhile, Cain is trying to free himself from the gem, which looks a lot like hell on the inside.  Some lava boils up and starts to burn him.  He passes out, but when he wakes up, he finds himself in a bed paralyzed.  Charles Xavier comes in and explains that Cain has been hallucinating.  When they fought in Korea, Cain was paralyzed when the Temple of Cytorrak came down, causing him to open a school for students with physical and psychological issues.  His X-Men appear as normal humans with different handicaps.  Gomurr interrupts the illusion, and the fake Xavier is revealed to be Spite, the sister of D’Spayre.  Gomurr chases her off with some magic. 

After freeing Cain, Gomurr explains that Cain no longer possesses his strength, but offers to lead him out.  The pair comes across a copy of the X-mansion carved in stone and enter it.  Inside Cain no longer has his armor and is forced to observe memories from his childhood.  They include Cain watching his dad and stepmom talking about how gifted Charles is as well as Cain’s attempt to blackmail his father with knowledge that Kurt Marko was responsible for the death of Charles’ father.  This results in Charles questioning them both, but Cain knocks over some chemicals and causes an explosion.  Kurt Marko dies saving Charles, and Cain blames him for taking his father.

Gomurr insists that Juggernaut’s path will only lead to the destruction of everything, followed by his own consumption.  Cain contemplates giving up his obsessive anger towards Charles.  However, before he can follow through, Spite reappears to offer Cain Charles’ death and the subjugation of all his enemies.  Gomurr warns that his need to destroy will overwhelm him and leave him utterly alone.  Spite restrains Gomurr and explains that long ago Gomurr and Tar were charged with containing the deity Cyttorak.  In order to defeat the being, they constructed the crystal, but neither could trust the other with the power, so they buried it in a temple in Korea.  Juggernaut goes with Spite to get his power back, leaving Gomurr behind and at the mercy of a mystery character.

Spite takes Cain before Cyttorak.  She is repaid by being eaten, and Cyttorak explains that he is going to try to leave the crystal in Cain’s body.  Cain tries to beat Cyttorak, but he doesn’t have his powers.  Gomurr, now freed, and Tar, the mystery person, team up to help Cain contain Cyttorak.  Unable to destroy the power, they give it to Cain, hoping he will defeat Cyttorak and that the X-Men will be able to contain him.  Cain destroys Cyttorak, destroying the dimension within the crystal.  Juggernaut reappears in the X-Men’s study, declaring how he’s bigger than ever.  Dr. Strange laments Cain’s short sightedness.

How It Was:  Oh cool, a Dr. Strange story in Unlimited!  While a needless cross promotion, this could still have potential…oh, wait…this isn’t a Dr. Strange story; it’s a Gomurr the Ancient One story.  To be fair, Gomurr is alright in his own right—he still gets a few funny lines in (like the one about being no relation to Dr. Strange’s Ancient One), but he’s just not that interesting to carry the story.  We do learn some of his history, only there just isn’t enough to make him stand out.  When Juggernaut calls him Yoda, he makes a good point about just how clichéd and derivative Gomurr is. 

Still there’s some good material for Juggernaut here.  Most of it has already been touched on, and like most Unlimited stories the book feels the need to go into one too many flashback sequences.  The idea that the Juggernaut is a curse and could be lifted if Cain let go of his obsession with Xavier has potential.  Plus the design for Cyttorak the god is pretty impressive.  The plot is a weighed down by an unnecessary appearance from Spite (maybe her last appearance had her trapped in the crystal?), and a long padded out sequence of events and flashbacks.  The end also only works in that magical deus ex sort of way; basically Cyttorak takes back Juggernaut’s powers, so Gomurr and Tar give the powers back and destroy Cyttorak (the deity appears decades later though). 

This may’ve been the first of its kind, but it feels like a slog that I’ve already read before—Juggernaut dealing with his jealousy, toying with overcoming it, then deciding not to.  It’s hard to root for Cain since he is such an alpha male bully douchebag.  This isn’t Moore’s fault, he’s writing him in character, it’s just frustrating to spend so many pages delving into the character, only to have absolutely nothing change at all.  Also, this issue has nothing to do with Onslaught.  If you’re a really big Juggernaut fan, hunt it down.  Otherwise just assume that he gets let out when Onslaught dies. 

Completists Only

Uncanny X-Men #361

Uncanny X-Men #361

Writing: Steve Seagle

Art: Steve Skroce

What Went Down:  We open on a fight between Storm and an army of Korean monk warriors, with  Kitty Pryde as back up.  After dispatching the bad guys, Storm’s contact shows up—X-villain Black Tom Cassidy.  Black Tom swears the warriors weren’t allied with him, and claims he needs the X-Men’s help. 

Back at the mansion, Wolverine discovers Rogue returning from a trip to Antarctica searching for Gambit.  Rogue explains that the only reason she left him there was because Gambit’s memories and personality were subconsciously telling her to.  Outside the room, Colossus and Nightcrawler are chasing Marrow, who has stolen Peter’s sketch pad.  After getting the pad, Kurt is attacked by Marrow, who in turn is stopped by Rogue.  Marrow is chastised, but explains that she just wanted to look at the pad because it was pretty.  Then she storms off.  Wolverine announces that he is moving outside the mansion to return to nature and such.

Back in Seoul, Black Tom explains that the Juggernaut is dying.  He was led into a trap based on false information about a second Cytoraak Gem.  The gem in question instead sucked the power from the villain.  When they arrive at the hideout, Juggernaut has left and smashed through a wall.  Storm and Kitty accuse Tom of lying, but go out to search for Cain anyways.  There’s also someone in the shadows watching. 

Enraged by his situation, Juggernaut has decided to go on a rampage, even without his full power.  As Storm tries to contain the damage, Gambit shows up on a motorcycle and puts down the bad guy.  Storm then yells at him for not contacting his loved ones in all this time and for attacking the dying villain.  Fortunately the X-Men find a map in Juggernaut’s pants that leads them to a temple where the crystal is being held. 

Colossus draws a picture for Marrow and accidently walks in on her making a magazine collage, which embarrasses her.  Over at the temple, Kitty, Gambit, and Storm fight off more of the mystical warriors, as well as various temple traps.  Kitty reaches the gem first, but leaves it with Gambit to go check on Storm.  Finding that Gambit has vanished, the two X-Women decide to return to Black Tom.  They are surprised to find Gambit already there, and the Juggernaut returned to full health.  Cain begrudgenly thanks them, and Storm invites Gambit to return to the X-Men.  When asked how he got out of the Arctic, Gambit says he walked, and we see a flashback of two sets of footprints in the snow. 

How It Was:  Ah now this is a fun one.  This is the return of Gambit, gone for eleven issues since his trial.  It’s also a preview for his new ongoing series drawn by Steve Skroce. 

There’s a lot of action in this book; we get an opening fight, a battle with Juggernaut, and the finale with more ninjas and temple traps.  All of it is rendered with Skroce’s keen eye for choreography and framing.  The Juggernaut fight, which is relatively brief, becomes one of the moments of the issue thanks to a gorgeous sequence of Gambit doing a flip on a motorcycle while showering exploding cards onto the villain.  The warriors and their temple have some really awesome designs as well, and there are loads of them in every fight panel.  Skroce’s style really emphasizes action and movement well, like when Gambit uses some spears to cross a moat, or the aforementioned motorcycle sequence.

While this issue could’ve gotten by on its action, there is a lot going on in the character department as well.  We have Storm torn between her principles as a hero and distrust of Black Tom.  Kitty is torn between her respect for Storm and her knowledge that the villains will screw them.  There’s a humbled though in denial Juggernaut which is a refreshing take.  And then everyone gets even more emotionally conflicted and tense when Gambit pops up out of nowhere.  What started off as a story about ambiguous trust gains a whole new layer at just the right moment.  The dialogue works really well, especially Gambit’s equips and attempts to pretend like nothing happened.

It’s not perfect; the stuff with Marrow feels a little off.  Marrow was originally this jaded teen that has seen more in her short, traumatic life than any of the X-Men.  Here she’s played off as kind of bratty.  I do like that she’s embarrassed of her appreciation of beauty, but I feel like there are better ways than the teen girl collage, such as her previous crushes on teammates.  The idea is great; I’m just not thrilled with the execution.

This is a fun one and a great jumping on point for the time.  This may be Seagle’s best script as he finds a great mix of action, humor, and emotional tension that opens up character directions for months to come.  A welcome return for Gambit.

Everyone Should Read

X-Men #70

X-Men #70
Writing: Joe Kelly
Art: Carlos Pacheco

What Went Down:  We open on Iceman using an ice slide to bring Cecilia Reyes and Marrow back to the X-mansion.  Cecilia is terrified by the height and speed, but Marrow goads Iceman into going faster.  When they reach the mansion, they discover that not only has Bastion stolen everything in it, he has used nanotechnology to strip the building of the paint and carpet.  Cecilia runs off, demoralized that she has nothing in her life.

As Cecilia cries to herself, she observes the X-Men bursting through the ceiling because Cyclops has a bomb implanted in him that is going to go off soon.  Of course, all of their medical equipment is gone, so they all start to despair.  Storm is shocked to see Marrow in the mansion. At the same time a giant is carrying a lawyer down the road to the mansion.  Seeing how little hope the X-Men have, Cecilia takes charge of the situation.  After getting a telepathic explanation from Jean, she assigns everyone tasks to do to help Cyclops.

Storm has to get boiling water.  While she generates some rain, Marrow appears to taunt Storm for trying to kill her.  Storm tells her she might want to go back to the sewers.  Cannonball manages to steal some medical supplies, but there’s no scalpel, so Wolverine’s claws have to be used to operate on Scott.  As the surgery/bomb removal begins, the doorbell rings.  Storm finds the Juggernaut, wearing a suit and tie, outside with his lawyer.  It turns out that with Xavier missing, the school and its assets fall to him as Charles’ stepbrother.  Storm slams the door on him and uses her powers to wash out the roads.  Marrow flirts a little with Cannonball while Cecilia continues the operation.

Juggernaut bursts through the door, but he is surprised to see the mansion empty.  He changes into his Juggernaut armor, but the remaining X-Men return just in time to confront him.  Juggernaut taunts the team when he sees that Gambit and Bishop are missing, causing Rogue to lash out.  Maggott decides to take on Juggernaut, but he is easily subdued.  Seeing how pathetic of a state the team is in, Juggernaut decides to leave and come back.

Beast and Joseph show up to help get rid of the bomb.  Wolverine lashes out at Trish Tilby, blaming her story on the Legacy Virus for creating the hysteria that has led to Operation Zero Tolerance and Cyclops’ situation. 

It turns out that this bomb doesn’t explode; it expands and fills a three-mile radius with goo that suffocates and preserves anything in its path.  Marrow gives Cecilia some bones to pry the bomb out and Rogue throws the bomb to one of Maggott’s slugs, who promptly eats it.  Cyclops thanks Cecilia for helping him. 

Later, everyone leaves Cyclops’ room.  Jean explains to Scott that she is worried about how fractured the team is, along with the addition of three strangers.  We end on Marrow carving some menacing threats on the door to the basement.

How It Was: Two double-sized issues in one month!  Brilliant!  I’m just going to go ahead and proclaim that I really love Joe Kelly’s run, especially this issue.  He just has such a great handle on the characters, similar to Lobdell, but he also manages to infuse his characters with a healthy amount of humor and agency.  Even double-sized, this issue has a lot of characters in it, and Kelly balances them all incredibly well, giving each one a moment or two.

Most important of all is that this is the issue where Cecilia demonstrates that she has value beyond whining and absorbing damage.  While her personality could be hard to take in previous issues, coming off as almost selfish, one page into Scott’s operation is all Kelly needs to demonstrate that Cecilia’s abrasive personality is a necessary, and valuable, quality in her field of work.  She takes charge of veteran X-Men in a convincing way, prioritizing her patient over all else.  Marrow also gets some great scenes.  Her playfulness leaves her motivations ambiguous; the reader isn’t quite sure whether Marrow wants to be a hero or stab them all in their sleep.  The tension between Marrow and Storm is well portrayed, and well-earned, setting up a lot of Kelly’s future issue.

Even Maggott is finally more fleshed out.  Yes, his personality has gotten a complete overhaul from his appearances in Uncanny, but in my opinion it’s for the best.  Before Maggott was so generic and uninteresting; now he may be a little goofier and full of himself, but it’s entertaining if you go with it.  And really, who wants to take a hero with giant mutant slugs seriously?

As much as the issue is about the new characters, it’s also about how utterly defeated the old ones are.  Longtime readers have seen the mansion destroyed numerous times by this point in continuity, but having it completely stripped bare is a new and even more unsettling visual.  Yes there is no real reason for it, other than Bastion going out of his way to be a tool, but it presents an interesting obstacle for the mutants to overcome, physically and emotionally.

I even really like the stuff with the Juggernaut.  Yes, it’s absurd that Xavier hasn’t willed his assets to any of his students, especially before voluntarily leaving for the government, but this gives us more conflict and tension for the main characters.  Unfortunately as I always say—too bad the stuff with the Juggernaut never really goes anywhere. 

Some minor hang-ups: it is a little convenient that Maggott’s slug could consume a bomb capable of coating three miles of area.  Yes I know Maggott needs something to contribute to his intro, but it is a little forced.  Also, Jubilee, Archangel, and Psylocke have disappeared.  I realize that Kelly already has an overwhelming cast, but it feels strange to have these characters missing, even if Steve Seagle comes up with an excuse for Betsy and Warren later.  It’s just odd that Jubilee would leave before this was resolved, but I understand she would’ve had nothing to contribute to the story.

In the span of this issue, Kelly delivers a fun one-and-done story while also setting up a number of plot threads, most of which will go unfulfilled.  He clearly has a handle on where he wants to go, and all the new characters have unique and compelling voices.  My only regret is that many of these threads go unfurthered and the new characters don’t stay around long enough.  This is the most substantial roster shake up since 1991, and it’s all for the best.  The title has energy and direction that it hasn’t had since Onslaught.

A

X-Men #61

X-Men #61
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Cedric Nocon

What Went Down: Archangel starts off the issue pounding on the door of his penthouse because Psylocke is inside a battling a group of undercloaks-the magic shadow ninjas from back in Uncanny #329. Unable to enter (I guess he forgot his keys?), Warren runs up the stairs to the roof, flies around, and busts through a window to find Betsy calmly sitting by herself. When Warren asks what is going on, Gomurr the Ancient shows up and hints at the cost of resurrecting Psylocke with the Crimson Dawn. This is all set up for a Crimson Dawn mini-series for the couple to star in, so don’t worry too much about it.

Back at the museum, Storm is trying to protect Karima, the orphan who was raised a thief by Storm’s mentor and is presently taped to a pillar. Storm confronts the Shadow King/Jamil and tries to stop him with a blizzard. Candra tries to get to the gem, but the Juggernaut appears, attacking her and Storm. Storm frees Karima and wonders if the appearances of the Shadow King and Juggernaut are somehow tied to Jamil’s powers. Candra and Storm get into a hand-to-hand fight, with Ororo throwing Candra in some rubble. While Storm tries to figure out what is happening, Cable appears and uses the gem to shoot a red ray at Candra. Storm figures out the cause of the manifestations, flies Karima out of the museum, and tells the girl that she has to stop this.

Elsewhere in the city, the X-Men are tracking Storm to help her. Jean uses her powers to hide their appearance from civilians, which causes a debate among the members. Jean turns a corner and everyone disappears, both X-Man and civilian. After three panels, everything returns to normal, with Wolverine asking Jean if there is anything wrong.

Back in the museum, Candra bursts out of the rubble and asks where Jamil has gone. Storm explains that Jamil never existed because Karima is actually a mutant whose power involves pulling desires from people’s minds and making them real; Jamil was actually a desire of Karima’s given form to keep her from being lonely. Candra’s own desire to get the gem was then projected onto Jamil by Karima. Storm throws Candra the gem, but at the last second Cyclops shows up and blasts it, killing Candra. The X-Men comment about how they are always there for each other, and Storm decides that she is going to take Karima home. In an epilogue in Hong Kong, Sebastian Shaw is revealed to be not dead. He makes a toast to his son Shinobi, and then says some cryptic mutterings about his next huge plan.

How It Was: Errr…I hate to be so negative all the time, but this really makes no sense and has no purpose. The cover teases an awesome fight with the Juggernaut, but what we get is a series of illusions that are only around for a page or two each. Candra’s “heart” has gone from her weakness to a typical ultimate power macguffin, and the resolution is super anti-climactic since Storm could have just destroyed the thing last issue and been done with all of it.

Now let’s talk about the M. Night Shyamalan style twist of Jamil not existing. Originally we’re told that Jamil is a mutant who can create illusions. Fair enough. Then we’re told that he might be possessed by the Shadow King, and the gem can enhance his powers. Still good. After that, a bunch of illusions from Storm’s history pop up and attack her. She somehow reasons that it is impossible for Jamil to be able to know these aspects of her history, so instead she figures that it makes more sense that Karima has the power to unconsciously read thoughts and desires from people and make them tangible. Also, Jamil isn’t real, as he was really an embodiment of Karima’s unconscious desire to not be alone. My question is, how is this the more likely scenario than a mutant who can create illusions screwing with a person with aspects of their past? Especially with an overpowered magic gem, shouldn’t this be well within the realm of possibilities in the X-Men’s lives?

Still, the twist might have been enough if we actually cared about any of the characters at all. Even Candra has little to no motivation; why did she put her heart in a jewel in the first place and what is she going to do if she gets it back under her control? On top of that, at the end Storm decides it is best to return Karima to her life as a struggling orphan thief in Africa by herself, as opposed to say taking her back to their mansion so she can learn how to use her insanely powerful mutant abilities. So there you have it, even Storm doesn’t care enough about Karima as a character to do the right thing by her.

As for the rest of the plotlines, the two-page spread of Psylocke fighting ghost ninjas looks pretty cool, but the stuff with the Crimson Dawn still isn’t interesting at all. And in what I assume is yet another forgotten plotline to add to the list, Jean Grey sees everybody in New York disappear for no reason. Sebastian Shaw is back, not that we really missed him all that much. While he is a much better character than his son Shinobi, Sebastian doesn’t really get any good plots in the modern age of comics that I can think of off the top of my head. But more on that in the coming issues of X-Men.

This story was probably the biggest misfire yet. I like the idea of putting the spotlight on Storm, but a boring villain, uninteresting supporting characters, and unnecessary plot twists make this one pretty forgettable. This is the type of comic that shows how diehard an X-fan is if they owned it and stuck with the series after reading it.

F

X-Men #54

X-Men #54
Writing: Mark Waid
Art: Andy Kubert

What Went Down: Outside the mansion, Cannonball is sitting up in a tree watching Xavier in his study. Cyclops walks by, and empathizes with Sam about how hard the Professor can be on his students. He brushes off the weird behavior as something bigger just bothering Xavier. Oddly, a charged card seems to whiz by Cyclops while he’s talking, only to reveal Gambit and the rest of the X-Men searching for Juggernaut on the school grounds. Cyclops decides that Xavier is too stressed, and shouldn’t be alerted unless absolutely necessary, so the team splits up to look around.

In the psi-shielded chamber, Juggernaut states his admiration that Xavier would fake his own death and act like such a creep. Jean starts reading his mind, but realizes that Juggernaut left the door open, so Onslaught could still know what they were doing. When she shuts it, her telepathic bond with Cyclops is severed, worrying him. Sam wonders why they don’t just use Cerebro to find Juggernaut, but Storm explains that he’s a human. Iceman asks Beast if he remembers their first encounter with the villain, and of course he gets the details wrong.

Meanwhile in Jersey, the authentic Beast is finally breaking free of the chains in his cell. He goes through the trap door, only to be stopped by some people behind him. At the mansion, Cyclops bursts through the doors to Xavier’s study to tell him about the severed psionic link. Xavier notes that he can no longer sense her either, but he seems unworried about it. Cyclops discovers that Xavier is researching Franklin Richards, the son of Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Woman of the Fantastic Four. Xavier claims he doesn’t remember pulling up that data. He agrees to search for Jean, and tells Scott to turn off the defenses when he learns about the Juggernaut’s presence.

In the chamber, Cain relives the experience of finding the Cyttorak Gem and turning into Juggernaut. In his mind, he and Jean focus on a black obelisk that represents the memory block. In the study, Xavier contemplates all his recent failures. A news report shows that one of the teens responsible for killing the mutant back in X-Men: Prime has been arrested. He gives a racist statement, causing Xavier to smash the TV and trash his office.

Jean discovers who Onslaught is, even though Juggernaut still doesn’t know. Instead of telling him who it is, she just tells him to run. Leaving the chamber without his helmet, Juggernaut’s perceptions are warped M.C. Escher-style. Terrified, Cain seeks out his stepbrother, only to find his hoverchair empty. Onslaught grabs him, stabs him in the stomach, and pulls out the Cyttorak Gem, as well as revealing that Xavier and Onslaught are the same person. Then Xavier summons the X-Men to his study.

How It Was: Low and behold, this issue opens with Cannonball, former leader of the “edgier” X-book—X-Force, pouting in a tree after being yelled at by Xavier. This is the kind of thing that drove fans crazy in the 90s, but the X-office continued to write him as a wet-behind-the-ears novice until he left the team to go back with X-Force. Meanwhile the X-writers seem intent to giveaway the reveal at the end of the issue by having Xavier act so over the top evil towards Cyclops that any other reveal for Onslaught wouldn’t have made any sense. Plus the rest of the X-Men are searching for Juggernaut, so they have nothing to do for the entire issue.

Waid goes for a horror movie motif with Jean and Juggernaut, building the tension of whether the monster will find them until he jumps out and “stabs” Juggy to “death.” Unfortunately, like a horror movie, we get the main characters making lots of stupid decisions, such as leaving the door to the psi-proof room open, or having the pair split up after Jean learns the bad guy’s identity and chooses not to share it with her ally. It all comes off as rather dumb and plot convenient, plus Juggernaut is once again being wheeled out to make Onslaught look more impressive by comparison, exactly like the issue twelve months ago.

Also, most of the Jean/Juggernaut sequences are made up of unnecessary flashbacks and exposition about past stories to pad the issue out until the writer can get to the end. Waid seems to be leaning particularly hard on the Z’Nox story as an example of a less virtuous Xavier to somehow justify his transformation into Onslaught, which seems unnecessary, but maybe they were still creating the character as they were going.

And at least having Xavier as Onslaught leads to some interesting story ideas. If you want to talk about a huge anti-climax, then we’ll talk about the Beast’s plot line. Here he breaks his chains (why wouldn’t he have done this first thing?) and escapes through the trapdoor, only to be recaptured a couple of pages later. How’s that for plot progression? Very, Very Tiring. This is a very weak ending, or beginning depending on how you look at it. The identity of the main villain is pretty much a gimme, and all the other characters are pretty much running around in circles or filling up panels to get to that spoiled ending.

C

Uncanny X-Men #334

Uncanny X-Men #344
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down: Juggernaut emerges from a lake near the Xavier Institute. He swims underwater again and takes out some cameras. Up in the actual mansion, Bishop is trying to fix Cerebro after it overloaded in X-Men #51. He recognizes the technology from his time, but wonders what happened to stunt technology development to such a degree, which doesn’t make sense since Cerebro is obviously far more advanced than any other computer of its time. Gambit pops in, and Bishop calls him Remy for the first time. They discuss how Sinister’s attack in X-Men #52 reassured Bishop that he wasn’t crazy, and then an intruder alarm goes off, so they go to check it out.

Cyclops is in the Danger Room, shooting a bunch of drones. Jean bursts in, telling him they need to talk. She tells him about Onslaught’s attack on her, and that as time passes she remembers less and less. When Scott suggests going to Xavier, she becomes scared and tells him to wait. In Colorado, Archangel is trying to contact the mansion, but having no luck. This is odd, since Juggernaut destroyed his home last month in X-Men #53, so it’s probably a mistake on the writers’ parts. Psylocke is also unable to contact them with her telepathy, but she says it might be due to the Crimson Dawn. They decide to go to Westchester.

In Xavier’s study, Cannonball is telling the Professor how he feels guilty for not preventing Wolverine’s transformation in Wolverine #100. Xavier overreacts, yells at the youth for being so weak, and dismisses him.

Bishop and Gambit take a water skimmer out to the lake to find the disturbance. The Juggernaut attacks and knocks them both out. In Beast’s lab, the Dark Beast is examining Wolverine while Iceman and Storm watch. Dark Beast points out the ludicrousness of his counterpart's role in the X-Men, wondering how many scientific duties he was asked to perform at a given time. Wolverine breaks free of the restraints and runs off. Storm goes after him, but she is interrupted by Cannonball, who wants to talk about the Professor.

Bastion shows up backstage at a Graydon Creed rally and tells him off for stupidly attacking Senator Kelly last issue. Jean goes into the lake house, but discovers Gambit and Bishop unconscious on the floor. Juggernaut appears and tells her he’s not there to fight. He asks for Jean’s help because he knows Onslaught’s identity, but he can’t remember it. As a sign of good faith, he removes his helmet.

In the War Room, Xavier is going over files on the Age of Apocalypse’s Nate Grey, who attacked him in X-Man #10—a quote/unquote pivotal battle. Cyclops shows up because Xavier sent for him, and Xavier proceeds to tell him how big of a disappointment he is. He then tells Scott to stay strong, and reveals himself to be a telepathic projection. On the comlink, Xavier tells him that this was a test.

Jean takes Juggernaut to an underground, psi-shielded chamber that Xavier used to prepare for the Z’nox Invasion, back when he faked his own death.

The issue concludes by announcing that X-Men #54 will reveal the identity of Onslaught, but you’ve probably already figured it out from the previous page. There’s also a section recapping all of the previous mentions of Onslaught from the other X-Books, even though next month they’ll all be made trivial.

How It Was: This marks pretty much the height of the Bishop/Gambit bromance. After Onslaught, Gambit moves onto a love triangle with Rogue and Joseph while Bishop does nothing for a while before being blasted into space…seriously. But it has been kind of nice seeing the former enemies’ friendship grow, even if its sole purpose is to make the X-traitor subplot relevant again for the big reveal during Onslaught. Sure, having Bishop call Gambit “Remy” is a little sappy, but for what it is it works. And it means that Bishop will finally stop whining about his visions and dreams from another world. Unlike last time, the Juggernaut gets to show off his power by easily overpowering the X-Men and not acting like a hysterical girl, as he did in Uncanny #322.

Lobdell and Waid must have gone through all the original X-Men issues looking for ideas, because this issue brings us a plot device from the long, long forgotten Z’nox plotline of Uncanny #65. Once again while it is a neat little Easter egg for diehard fans, I doubt many people remembered, or even were familiar with, this obscure nod to the sixties. What’s really great is seeing Jean take such an active role in the series after being Cyclops’ partner for so long. Her conflict over whether to trust Xavier is very well handled. There is definitely a feeling of intensity, even now, in her scenes with Juggernaut as she worries about Onslaught discovering them.

However, the mystery is pretty much ruined by the fact that the writers have dropped almost all pretenses to the fact that Xavier is Onslaught. I guess his lashing out could be viewed potentially as Onslaught just manipulating him, but I think it’s pretty clear with the way he handles Cannonball at his desk that he’s being set up as a bad guy in all of this. Oh, and even though I’m really starting to dislike Dark Beast’s plot, I love how he points out how many jobs the real Beast does for the X-Men; he’s a biologist, chemist, medical doctor, virologist, mechanic, and physicist whenever the story necessitates it.

The fact that Archangel and Psylocke are fine in Warren’s house in Colorado is a pretty glaring error. On top of that, the narrative is still talking about Warren’s wing injuries, which is really getting old. And Psylocke is already starting to blame plot mechanics on the plot device that is the Crimson Dawn, a bad trend that just gets worse from here on out. Betsy’s acting weird? Crimson Dawn. She’s got new powers that are necessary for the plot to move on? Crimson Dawn? She can’t do something she normally does? It’s probably the Crimson Dawn. On the other hand, having Bastion call Graydon Creed out for being a moron is pretty entertaining to read.

Overall, the middle chapter in the Onslaught setup trilogy proves to be uneven. The mystery of Onslaught’s identity almost seems futile at this point due to the writing, and Psylocke and Archangel’s participation seems peripheral at best. Some decent character moments make this a little above mediocre, and it does set up everything nicely for the finale, anticlimactic as it is.

C+

X-Men #53

X-Men #53
Writing: Mark Waid
Art: Andy Kubert

Note: See X-Men Unlimited #11 next

What Went Down: Jean Grey is out shopping for clothes. She seems to be having difficulty keeping people’s thoughts out of her mind when she is telepathically forced to the astral plane by Onslaught, who now has an actual character design. Onslaught claims that he’s ushering in a flashpoint in human-mutant relations and shows Jean that her body has also disappeared from the store. Many of the people have unflattering thoughts about her. Onslaught appears to destroy the store, but reveals it as an illusion in the next panel.

In New Jersey, the real Beast is being held in a dungeon by the Dark Beast. Beast accidentally breaks his water source, but this reveals a trap door in the floor. Onslaught takes Jean to Graydon Creed’s campaign headquarters to reveal the hypocrisy of humanity. We discover that Creed’s campaign manager doesn’t really care about the anti-mutant cause, but that he is willing to persecute the mutant race just for a chance to get to the White House. Jean tells Onslaught she’s aware of people like this, which is why she surrounds herself with people she can trust.

In Colorado, Psylocke is in bed, still screaming as a result of the shadows around her. From the shadows, the Juggernaut emerges (I believe this is his return from the Malibu Exiles’ universe). Juggy wonders where he is. Strangely, Betsy says she scanned his mind even though his helmet is still on. Juggernaut announces that he knows an important secret, but he can’t remember it, so he destroys the cabin instead. Then he begins his journey to Westchester because he says he can only trust one person with his mind.

Onslaught takes Jean to the X-mansion, where they journey inside Xavier’s mind effortlessly. Onslaught accuses Xavier of being just as big a hypocrite as the rest of the humans. Jean claims they have a special bond, citing the instance in the sixties where Xavier faked his death, but shared his secret with only her. Onslaught shakes her image of Xavier by showing her Xavier’s thoughts from Uncanny X-Men #3 (1963), where a thought balloon actually did mention that Xavier was in love with Jean. Onslaught infers that Xavier just repressed this feeling like every other negative emotion he has. On the astral plane, Onslaught covers Jean in green slime to symbolize all of Xavier’s fears and negative feelings.

Over in South Carolina, Joseph—the de-aged, former Magneto, has stumbled upon a community picnic outside. They seem friendly, but there is a sinister undertone to the whole scene.

Back on the astral plane, Onslaught compares himself to the Phoenix Force and asks Jean to join him. Jean refuses, and they fight. Jean asks who he is, but he tells her that she already knows before soundly defeating her. She reappears in the dressing room at the store, and the final page has an effect of Onslaught’s name being burned onto her head, but this isn’t supposed to be literal.

How It Was: This is our first real look at Onslaught, since the X-staff finally decided on what the heck he actually is. It’s a pretty cool design, and Waid succeeds in making Onslaught appear menacing and calculating. At this point, the villain still feels like he actually has a purpose beyond being evil. Here he’s someone I want to read more about.

Jean Grey is a good choice for him to reveal himself to because she hasn’t really had that much to do since before Age of Apocalypse. This issue is solid, although there are some inconsistencies in the story: we never find out why Jean’s body disappears when she goes to the astral plane, and we don’t know why the racist blond cashier knows that Jean is from the Xavier Institute. Still Onslaught does make an interesting case for the weakness of people by bringing up how what they do and how they feel are often in direct conflict with one and other. Not all his examples are super—I feel like the employees are allowed to assume Jean is a shoplifter if she disappears from the store, but the theme of the story is still solid. Also, I’m not sure what is up with Onslaught’s name being burned into Jean’s head; I think it’s a figurative way of showing how Onslaught messed with her head, possibly also explaining how she starts to forget events later.

And Onslaught also has a good point in bringing up that Xavier is as fallible as anyone else, despite being placed on a pedestal by the X-Men. Once again, while the main idea is intriguing, the examples given are kind of weak. Jean seems convinced that since Xavier told her about his fake death, it doesn’t make him a hypocrite, when really it makes both of them hypocrites for hiding this fact from the rest of their teammates. Waid also digs up an obscure quote from 1963 that paints Xavier in a more lecherous light. Yes, it did happen, but it’s obvious that Stan Lee dropped the concept shortly after because even he realized that it was a little creepy. Plus there are more contemporary examples that could’ve been used instead of dragging out this oddity that really has no bearing on the Professor’s character at all.

The Psylocke/Archangel thread is still a mess, but at least something happens. Juggernaut shows up, appearing from shadows for some reason, and trashes Warren’s cabin for the heck of it, in spite of the fact that he wants help from the X-Men. Worst of all, Warren’s cabin appears perfectly fine in the next issue of Uncanny, even though the entire cabin is clearly totaled in this comic. This whole part really makes no sense whatsoever. As for the Beast, it’s nice to see him alive, but he doesn’t get a whole lot to do other than stumble onto a way out that goes nowhere (plotwise). Joseph shows up just long enough to tease his appearance in X-Men Unlimited, where, in a heck of a coincidence, he meets up with Rogue, who just happens to be in the same small town in South Carolina as he is.

The main ideas in this issue work really well, and Onslaught is just new enough to seem novel. It’s just in the little details and subplots where the issue drops the ball. It’s nice that Waid is trying to make use of continuity, but by picking something that so few writers have chosen to acknowledge, the reveal doesn’t really carry as much weight; his experiences with Amelia Voght would have fit in nicely. Still, this is the best that Onslaught ever comes off, so that is an accomplishment in it of itself.

B

Uncanny X-Men #322

Uncanny X-Men #322
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Tom Grummett

What Went Down: Archangel receives a call from his ex-girlfriend, Detective Charlotte Jones. Warren tries to apologize for not calling her in months, but she brushes him off. Charlotte has called Warren in to get his opinion on a mutant specific case, and to warn him about possible backlash from the media. One of Charlotte’s subordinates decides that Archangel is dangerous and attacks him, but Warren deflects the energy weapon and temporarily paralyzes the cop with a wing dart. Charlotte chastises the men, and then leads Warren into the crime scene. It’s a nightclub full of dead bodies; Archangel is told that there is something he can see better from above, but we’re never told what this is referring to after he flies up.

Outside the mansion, Storm is reflecting on her friendship with Gambit as she worries about him in his coma. Wolverine shows up to talk for a bit, but then disappears when Siryn of X-Force comes by to ask for help.

Beast has decided to take Bishop to New Jersey to see a movie in hopes of helping him relax and get over his nightmares/visions about the Age of Apocalypse. In case you’re wondering, they go to see Pulp Fiction, which had just won a bunch of Academy Awards at the time. Beast tries to get Bishop to open up, but they are interrupted by something falling out of the sky, smashing through buildings and cars. That something turns out to be the Juggernaut, and he’s been beaten up pretty badly.

Jean and Cyclops are visiting Jean’s parents to tell them that they learned her sister was assimilated by the Phalanx during the Phalanx Covenant. This wraps up a story from the eighties that dates all the way back to X-Factor #2. Jean and her father talk, and Jean has a flashback about her sister because, according to her, telepaths’ brains never forget anything. Scott and Jean drive away, but an invisible, intangible Noah Dubois of Landau, Luckman, and Lake is observing them.

Beast examines the Juggernaut and determines that he has no pulse. Psylocke shows up just because, and the Juggernaut wakes up scared out of his mind. Everybody fights; Betsy stabs Juggernaut with her psychic knife and senses his overwhelming fear. Bishop covers himself with power lines to finish off Juggernaut, but not before the villain explains that he was knocked to New Jersey from Canada. Bishop subdues Juggernaut, but only because the bad guy was already weakened, and Juggernaut tells the X-Men that he was beaten up by someone named Onslaught.

How It Was: First of all, it’s important to note that the Blue/Gold Team split is pretty much dead starting with this issue; all the X-Men are free to come and go in any X-Men title and fight with whomever they want. This leads to a lot of stories that emphasize smaller groups of X-Men, which is nice because it gives the writers an opportunity explore a lot of different groupings, personalities, and relationships, although the inclusion of X-Force at the mansion serves as little more than a distraction to the main events. It’s also really nice that the main titles have more impact on each other.

Also starting this month, some moron at Marvel thought that a great way to improve their comics would be to take the issue numbers off of the covers to make collecting an even bigger pain in the butt. If you’re wondering, you can still find the issue number in tiny print inside the barcode, but this is still really inconvenient. Don’t worry; Marvel was bombarded with fan complaints, so this trend only lasted about a year.

Now as for the story—it’s a nice, slow set-up issue that brings up a couple of plot points that are sure to be explored in the next couple of issues, as well as farther down the line. There’s nothing really wrong with this except for the fact that X-Men Prime was already supposed to have done this. Future issues notwithstanding, the awkward interactions between Archangel and Charlotte are well handled, and Beast is pitch-perfect as always under Scott Lobdell.

The parts that stick out the worst are the scenes with Jean exploring the death of her sister. This “mystery” had been set up almost a decade before, and even the resolution to her sister’s whereabouts occurred ten months before this issue came out. It’s nice that Lobdell follows up on the point, but it’s too little, too late for anybody to actually care about this character that never really had any significance to the X-Men franchise. Plus Cyclops’ “what if we weren’t X-Men?” discussion is really cliché and has nothing to do with the situation. It appears that Scott Lobdell was setting up a storyline involving Noah Dubois, who appeared two years ago and appears in a couple of future stories, but nothing ever comes from these cameos.

The Juggernaut fight is well handled, even if it’s a blatant example of cutting down a strong character to make a new threat look more menacing. The impact is pretty much lost due to the fact that Juggernaut hasn't appeared in either of the main X-Men books since the eighties.  My one nerdy nitpick would be that Psylocke shouldn’t be able to use her powers on Juggernaut when he has his helmet on, and for that matter, why is she even there? And of course, this is the first we hear about the enigmatic Onslaught. Fair warning, the X-Books are going to be setting this one up for over a year, and a lot of the clues go absolutely nowhere. But this initial story actually works really well once we figure out who Onslaught is (SPOILER: IT’S PROFESSOR X). An inauspicious start, but it is nice to see that the writers are mixing it up a little bit with the presentation and structure of the books. Plus fill-in artist Tom Grummett draws a pretty awesome Juggernaut.

B-