X-Factor #126

X-Factor #126

Writing: Howard Mackie

Art: Stefano Raffaele

What Went Down:  Forge starts of this issue repaying Mystique and Sabretooth for saving him by painfully reactivating their inhibitors with technology around him.  They regroup with the rest of X-Factor to find that Havok and Random have been captured.  Polaris and Shard are left to guard the prisoners while the rest break up to look for Beast.

Mystique and Wild Child trade banter while overcoming some traps within the building, while Creed fights off some metal tendrils with Forge.  Forge deactivates them, and they continue on while Forge contemplates the series of strange orders Washington has been giving him, the most recent of which has been to work with Sabretooth.  Creed discovers the Beast hooked to manacles that shock him with every step taken on the floor.  Above, Fatale ambushes the two agents, but she is ambushed by Wild Child and knocked out. 

Outside, Polaris lectures Random for lying to her.  Random explains that Dark Beast was helping him control his powers and keeping him from becoming just a pile of goo.  In fact Dark Beast created the Random identity.  He also admits Dark Beast has been messing with Havok’s head. 

Once freed, Beast is eager to rejoin the X-Men to fight Onslaught.  Sabretooth notices that this Beast is actually Dark Beast.  Forge threatens to put Creed down, even though he acknowledges that Creed’s collar should be stopping him, and Wild Child confirms that it’s the Dark Beast.  Meanwhile Alex tricks Lorna into setting him free.  Random breaks out of his restraints in an attempt to save her from Havok.  Havok blasts Random, turning him to a puddle that oozes into the sewer.  Shard leaves Polaris to guard Havok while she goes after Random.  This gives Havok the perfect opportunity to knock out Polaris and admit his treachery. 

Back inside, Forge is still pointing a gun, convinced Sabretooth is attacking the real Beast.  Creed knocks down a wall, revealing the real Beast restrained in a different room.  Dark Beast still tries to convince Forge that he is the good one, but the original Hank McCoy attacks him and knocks him out. 

Shard returns to find Polaris unconscious and dying.  She gives CPR and tells Forge they need to get to the hospital.  Forge orders Fatale to teleport them all, and Dark Beast tells them to do it so that they can bid their time as prisoners, exactly where he wanted to be.

How It Was:  I’ve already written about how bizarre it is that the Beast/Dark Beast plot resolution appeared in, of all places, X-Factor.  So let’s forget about the randomness and ineptitude that lead to that decision and instead focus on the pay off.  After months of being held captive and chained up in a small room—after having dozens…potentially hundreds of people from his life, as well as innocent bystanders, murdered—Beast finally gets his payback on the cruel, sadistic version of himself.  So he kicks the villain once…and then the fight and issue are both over.  What??!!  It’s one thing to shunt the focus of the majority of this story to X-Factor, and Sabretooth and Mystique in particular, but to offer absolutely no satisfaction in the triumph of our hero who has been put through the ringer the last few months is the worst.  The absolute worst!  The only reason X-Men readers were picking up X-Factor was to see how Beast was rescued, and the abrupt and anticlimactic end robs the story of any sense of closure or gratification.  In fact Dark McCoy is gleeful to be captured, in regards to another conspiracy theory with no payoff.

Aside from the lousy Beast thread, nobody else comes out looking too great in this issue.  The plot decisions just seem antithetical to telling an interesting story.  The villains without restraints…that’s pretty cool, but it gets undone by the first page this issue.  Random’s betrayal…apparently he’s been working with Dark Beast since the beginning, retroactively tainting all his previous appearances.  Oh, and the tough bounty hunter is actually a teenager, which is a little weird and disappointing. 

If not for the Beast letdown, the worst offense would be the obvious ruse Havok uses on Polaris to get free, making her look all kinds of awful.  All she had to do was be patient and wait for the authorities to pick up the bad guys, but she frees Havok because…?  Similarly Forge refuses to believe both Sabretooth and Wild Child about Dark Beast, even though they have no reason to lie, and Creed’s inhibitor is letting him hurt the Beast.  Everything is just too predictable…it’s no fun if the audience expects what is going to happen.  It’s fun to have the villains pulling the strings, but not if the heroes are so obviously dumb that there’s no challenge or sense of tension. 

Completists Only

X-Factor #125

X-Factor #125

Writing: Howard Mackie

Art: Jeff Matsuda and Stefano Raffaele

These two issues take place prior to X-Men #55

What Went Down:  Dark Beast has taken Onslaught to his lab, and Onslaught is conducting a painful looking probe on McCoy.  Fatale tries to free her master, but fails miserably.  Former hero, and Cyclops’ brother, Havok shows up too, and Onslaught says he has plans for him.

Over at the Fall’s Edge base, X-Factor is being attacked by a training Sentinel that has somehow been reprogrammed.  Random suggests calling in the X-Men, but Forge orders Mystique to go free their “heavy-hitter” Sabretooth.  Mystique threatens to kill Sabretooth, but frees him anyway.  Both discuss how they are biding their time in X-Factor to fulfill their own agendas.  Creed mentions that Mystique might have feelings for Forge.  Suddenly Fatale appears and abducts both of them.  She also teleports the Sentinel away. 

Forge seems convinced one rogue Sentinel is more dangerous than a missing Mystique and Sabretooth, so he sets X-Factor to finding it.  Random tries to warn Polaris not to go on this mission.  Back at their base, the emergency transmission from Jean Grey warning about Onslaught plays for the empty room. 

X-Factor tracks the Sentinel’s signal to the abandoned Brand Corporation.  Havok and Fatale attack the team; Polaris is heartbroken that Alex has turned villain, while Random again tries to warn her away.  While Polaris shields everyone from Havok’s power, Random reveals that he is a traitor as well. 

Inside the Brand facility, Forge discovers an army of Sentinels.  He is attacked by someone off panel.  Outside, Polaris tries to reach Havok.  Fatale and Havok are about to kill the team, but Random protests about killing them.  Dark Beat appears to tell him the bargain has changed.  Forge and Onslaught’s henchman Post bursts through the wall, interrupting the proceedings and giving Polaris a chance to take out Havok.  Random tries to help Polaris, but Havok shoots him, revealing that Random is really a teenager.  Polaris again tries to reach Alex, and it appears to work; however, instead of trusting him, Polaris decides to knock him out.  Post grows bored and escapes, having succeeded in his mission to distract X-Factor long enough for the Sentinels to launch.

What Else Went Down:  The second story deals with what happens to Sabretooth and Mystique after being teleported.  After surviving a steep drop, the pair is confronted by the Dark Beast.  McCoy explains everything about Onslaught and holding his other self hostage.  Dark Beast wants them to join Onslaught, and offers to deactivate their inhibitors and let them kill Forge.  Mystique and Sabretooth consider it, but decide if they weren’t sanctioned operatives, they couldn’t use their positions for their own purposes. 

Sabretooth attacks Dark Beast; McCoy gets the upper hand, but Mystique uses her shape-shifting abilities to create pointy armor for herself.  Dark Beast almost kills both her and Forge, but Sabretooth saves them both and continues to fight.  Creed is about to kill him, but Forge stops him because they need information.  Dark Beast activates a teleporter, explaining that the real Beast will be dead before they can find him. 

How It Was:  A double-sized Onslaught tie-in issue.  How did I get so lucky?  After Peter David left X-Factor, the book struggled to find an identity.  No longer the quirky, funny book with the C-list X-Characters, it tried to become the edgy, violent book with C-list X-characters.  Too bad nobody at the X-offices realized that title was already called X-Force.  X-Factor’s attempt to stay interesting and relevant to fans was to have Mystique and Sabretooth recruited by the team and forced to work with more traditional mutant heroes. 

As for its attempt at ecking out its own identity, Mackie seems to be going the conspiracy angle with multiple characters having different conflicting goals and motivations, from the villains to the government funding X-Factor itself.  This is all well and good considering they are the government based X-team—why not introduce some X-Files like government conspiracies and political intrigue.  The problem of course exists that none of these motivations or conspiracies feel planned ahead; Sabretooth, Mystique, and Dark Beast all insist that they have specific reasons for the things they are doing, with no substantial hint as to what they might be.  Forge recognizes there might be strange motivations for including villains on the team, but again nothing is done with this. 

As an Onslaught tie-in, this story offers a unique opportunity to bring in new readers by showing how great and interesting the team is.  Instead we see a team that struggles to take down one Sentinel.  One!  And it’s a Sentinel that Forge was rebuilding.  Right off the start the X-Factor team isn’t looking great, especially when over in books like X-Men and Uncanny, the X-Men, Avengers, and FF are taking out Sentinels left and right by themselves. 

Another problem is how telegraphed the twists are.  Random warns Polaris twice that she shouldn’t go on the mission, and then we’re supposed to be surprised when he says he’s working for the villain of the issue?  None of this feels laid out or natural to the character as established.  Havok being a bad guy is interesting, since he is the character that became synonymous with X-Factor after the original X-Men left.  The downside is that his defection (at this point the story was that he was being brainwashed by Dark Beast) reduces Polaris to a simpering and whiny character that gets tiring after a while. 

This issue should feel bigger than it does: Post shows up for like four panels (?!), the Sentinels that attack New York are activated here, and Sabretooth and Mystique get their inhibitors deactivated.  Of course failing to stop the Sentinels makes the team look incompetent, and the other two things are quickly brushed to the side.  It feels like the plot is trying to cram in as many Onslaught related concepts in it as possible without actually contributing to or moving the story along in any meaningful way; of course, this was the main problem with the majority of Onslaught tie-ins.

Finally, we pick up on the captive Beast subplot that has appeared in all three X-Men titles.  Why the X-offices would choose to resolve this months’ long story in X-Factor is beyond me. None of the characters have a close connection with Hank; it just feels like the team had nothing better to do than resolve this plot line that has nothing to do with them.  Just some baffling choices.

Completists Only

X-Men Unlimited #12

X-Men Unlimited #12

Writing: John Francis Moore

Art: Steve Epting and Ariel Olivetti

This takes place after Uncanny #335. After go back to Avengers #401 

.What Went Down:  Dr. Strange’s astral form approaches the X-Mansion, having sensed some great mystical disturbance or something.  Strange casts a spell and discovers that Onslaught did not kill the Juggernaut in X-Men #54, but rather he somehow trapped Cain Marko in the Gem of Cytorrak (in case you couldn’t tell from the cover).  This is strange because Onslaught’s powers are psionic, not mystical, but we’ll soon learn Onslaught can do anything.  While Strange contemplates this, a Chinese symbol appears from a computer screen and is about to attack Strange.  Strange is rescued by Gomurr the Ancient One, the little sage from Uncanny #329-330.  Apparently the symbol was a spider from Gomurr’s nemesis Tar.

Gomurr explains that having Marko in the gem is somehow more dangerous, but refuses Strange’s assistance.  He goes into the gem to look for Juggernaut.  Meanwhile, Cain is trying to free himself from the gem, which looks a lot like hell on the inside.  Some lava boils up and starts to burn him.  He passes out, but when he wakes up, he finds himself in a bed paralyzed.  Charles Xavier comes in and explains that Cain has been hallucinating.  When they fought in Korea, Cain was paralyzed when the Temple of Cytorrak came down, causing him to open a school for students with physical and psychological issues.  His X-Men appear as normal humans with different handicaps.  Gomurr interrupts the illusion, and the fake Xavier is revealed to be Spite, the sister of D’Spayre.  Gomurr chases her off with some magic. 

After freeing Cain, Gomurr explains that Cain no longer possesses his strength, but offers to lead him out.  The pair comes across a copy of the X-mansion carved in stone and enter it.  Inside Cain no longer has his armor and is forced to observe memories from his childhood.  They include Cain watching his dad and stepmom talking about how gifted Charles is as well as Cain’s attempt to blackmail his father with knowledge that Kurt Marko was responsible for the death of Charles’ father.  This results in Charles questioning them both, but Cain knocks over some chemicals and causes an explosion.  Kurt Marko dies saving Charles, and Cain blames him for taking his father.

Gomurr insists that Juggernaut’s path will only lead to the destruction of everything, followed by his own consumption.  Cain contemplates giving up his obsessive anger towards Charles.  However, before he can follow through, Spite reappears to offer Cain Charles’ death and the subjugation of all his enemies.  Gomurr warns that his need to destroy will overwhelm him and leave him utterly alone.  Spite restrains Gomurr and explains that long ago Gomurr and Tar were charged with containing the deity Cyttorak.  In order to defeat the being, they constructed the crystal, but neither could trust the other with the power, so they buried it in a temple in Korea.  Juggernaut goes with Spite to get his power back, leaving Gomurr behind and at the mercy of a mystery character.

Spite takes Cain before Cyttorak.  She is repaid by being eaten, and Cyttorak explains that he is going to try to leave the crystal in Cain’s body.  Cain tries to beat Cyttorak, but he doesn’t have his powers.  Gomurr, now freed, and Tar, the mystery person, team up to help Cain contain Cyttorak.  Unable to destroy the power, they give it to Cain, hoping he will defeat Cyttorak and that the X-Men will be able to contain him.  Cain destroys Cyttorak, destroying the dimension within the crystal.  Juggernaut reappears in the X-Men’s study, declaring how he’s bigger than ever.  Dr. Strange laments Cain’s short sightedness.

How It Was:  Oh cool, a Dr. Strange story in Unlimited!  While a needless cross promotion, this could still have potential…oh, wait…this isn’t a Dr. Strange story; it’s a Gomurr the Ancient One story.  To be fair, Gomurr is alright in his own right—he still gets a few funny lines in (like the one about being no relation to Dr. Strange’s Ancient One), but he’s just not that interesting to carry the story.  We do learn some of his history, only there just isn’t enough to make him stand out.  When Juggernaut calls him Yoda, he makes a good point about just how clichéd and derivative Gomurr is. 

Still there’s some good material for Juggernaut here.  Most of it has already been touched on, and like most Unlimited stories the book feels the need to go into one too many flashback sequences.  The idea that the Juggernaut is a curse and could be lifted if Cain let go of his obsession with Xavier has potential.  Plus the design for Cyttorak the god is pretty impressive.  The plot is a weighed down by an unnecessary appearance from Spite (maybe her last appearance had her trapped in the crystal?), and a long padded out sequence of events and flashbacks.  The end also only works in that magical deus ex sort of way; basically Cyttorak takes back Juggernaut’s powers, so Gomurr and Tar give the powers back and destroy Cyttorak (the deity appears decades later though). 

This may’ve been the first of its kind, but it feels like a slog that I’ve already read before—Juggernaut dealing with his jealousy, toying with overcoming it, then deciding not to.  It’s hard to root for Cain since he is such an alpha male bully douchebag.  This isn’t Moore’s fault, he’s writing him in character, it’s just frustrating to spend so many pages delving into the character, only to have absolutely nothing change at all.  Also, this issue has nothing to do with Onslaught.  If you’re a really big Juggernaut fan, hunt it down.  Otherwise just assume that he gets let out when Onslaught dies. 

Completists Only

X-Men and Dr. Doom Annual '98

X-Men and Dr. Doom Annual '98
Writing: Jorge Gonzalez

Art: Aaron Lopestri

What Went Down:  This story takes place shortly after Uncanny X-Men #5 from the sixties.  Dr. Doom is utilizing a Seer to see the future.  The Seer is showing Doom images of Onslaught.  Although they don’t know the specifics, Doom realizes the danger and power Onslaught represents, and vows to utilize it to the fullest.  Doom also learns that he is not likely to survive his encounter with Onslaught.

Noting a similarity between Onslaught’s armor and that of the new (for 60s Marvel Universe) villain Magneto, Doom decides to travel through time to various points of the villain’s life to discover his connection to Onslaught and steal his power.  Starting with the X-Men’s first battle with Magneto, Doom tells the Seer to lock onto Magneto’s bio-signature to travel to future Magneto battles in the hunt for Onslaught.  After witnessing Magneto’s next defeat from the X-Men, Doom then witnesses Magneto’s first battle with the Giant-Sized team.  Phoenix actually detects the cloaked time platform and confronts Doom, but as the base collapses, Doom is able to escape.  The platform is damaged, and Doom is forced to the Days of Future Past storyline.

Doom leaves the time machine to look for parts.  He witnesses the future X-Men battling Sentinels from Uncanny #143, then escapes with the parts.  After fixing the time machine, Onslaught actually reaches out to the Seer in the time stream, and the old man learns that he is actually Charles Xavier.  The Seer takes Doom to the death of Thunderbird, Xavier’s battle with Dark Phoenix, his transformation into a Brood, and his near-death where he turns over the school to Magneto.

The time travelers actually make it to the present (meaning 1998 Marvel Universe), where Magneto is sitting on a throne by himself.  Doom attacks Magneto to weaken his mental guards so the Seer can learn about Onslaught.  After the battle, Doom escapes, and the pair travels to the events of X-Men #25, where Xavier shut off Magneto’s mind, planting the seeds of Onslaught.  Doom tries to absorb the Dark Mass to increase his power, but the entity is too powerful, so Doom has to return to his own time.  Upon returning, Doom kills the Seer because knowledge is power, and Doom doesn’t share power. 

How It Was:  This is a strange one, but not necessarily in a bad way.  In 1998, the theme of all Marvel’s annuals was team ups.  For example the Avengers annual had them team up with Squadron Supreme, and Captain America and Iron Man shared an annual.  Some of the team ups even involved bringing back bizarre obscure characters like Devil Dinosaur and Machine Man to team up with more established characters.  Anyways, the annual for X-Men features Doctor Doom.

Instead of actually having the X-Men team up with or fight Doom, we have a Doom story taking place early in the Marvel Universe’s history where he goes through a clip show of X-Men events to put the histories of Magneto and Xavier into context.  Because it would be weird to have Doom talking to himself for the whole issue, we get the one-off side character of the Seer introduced to exchange exposition with Doom and then unceremoniously get killed off when his purpose is fulfilled.

The premise is also a little weak as well because it involves Doom going after Onslaught.  We’re to understand that Doom can travel into the future to see how Magneto lost a million battles with the X-Men, so why doesn’t Doom just travel to see how Onslaught is defeated, figure out how he dies, and prevent it?  Moreover, why doesn’t he just observe one of his battles with the FF in the future, note how he loses, and change it?  So it invites all the questions that time travel stories invite without giving any satisfying answers.  Also we know Doom isn’t going to alter history, so he can’t succeed, but it really is hard to believe that he would know about Onslaught for so long and do nothing until it resurfaced again decades later.

So what we have is Doom visiting big moments in X-history, commenting on how feeble or respectable the X-Men and Magneto are at any given moment, then jumping to the next moment.  It does sort of work in a weird nostalgia stroking way.  It is neat to see all these big moments back to back, seeing how far the X-Men have come in thirty years of continuity, and remembering all the weird and unexpected turns they’ve taken.  Plus Lopestri’s art is remarkable and really captures the Silver Age feel of the story.  Even better, Gonzalez’s script takes advantage of Marvel continuity.  It’s neat to see that the confrontation Doom has with Phoenix actually fits into the story in Uncanny #113 if you ever get a chance to read it.  He does miss a chance to give hints of the present day Magneto’s plans though; it’s obvious the X-office had no idea what they were doing with Magneto, since when Doom shows up in our present, Magneto’s just sitting on a throne by himself for no reason.

Don’t get me wrong, this double-sized story is really padded and stretched out, and the main conflict isn’t very interesting. But there is just something entertaining, at least on a base level, about revisiting these memorable moments.  You’d probably be better off just rereading the original stories (I have the Essential X-Men black and white collections because you get a lot of story for a small price), but this one is fun, if completely inconsequential. 

B-

Onslaught: Epilogue

Onslaught: Epilogue
Writing: Larry Hama
Art: Randy Green

What Went Down: After being arrested by Val Cooper, Xavier is secretly taken to the location of Operation Zero Tolerance and held personally under Bastion. He is labeled Prisoner M-13, and Bastion constantly interrogates him for information and mistreats him as well. Henry Peter Gyrich is around, chastising Bastion for mistreating Xavier, who is apparently responsible for Xavier being there. We also learn that the location is an abandoned Hulkbuster Base. Bastion knows that Xavier is, or was, a mutant, but Gyrich doesn’t understand why Bastion thinks this is true.

We see a replay of the interrogation with Bastion losing his patience as Xavier refuses to admit that mutants are less then human. He then strikes the Professor. We also learn about prisoner M-9, also known as Nina the Mannite. She is a non-human little girl who is potentially the next stage of evolution beyond mutants. Bastion brings in a psychologist, Dr. Ingrid Thysson to try to prove that Xavier is a mutant. After introducing herself, Dr. Thysson sees a body bag being disposed of, but she is told not to question it. Thysson comments on how Xavier has obviously been mistreated, as does her associate Daryll Smith, a character from Hama’s Wolverine that is immune to psychics. While watching the monitors, the feed is interrupted by a cartoon called the Rainbow Bears.

In Xavier’s cell Nina teleports in and uses telekinesis to get Charles back in his chair. Bastion and his men barge into his cell, but Nina is already gone. As Bastion freaks out, Daryl tells him to calm down, and Bastion orders him to the brig. The next day Thysson sets out to create a full psych profile on Charles. She straps him in a weird gyroscope and asks him loads of questions. Xavier asks her if she knows the true purpose of this facility, and claims that after he volunteered to help, he was taken away without Cooper’s knowledge. Ingrid discovers Nina’s stuffed rabbit, and Xavier grabs it from her.

Later Gyrich and Bastion are discussing Nina. After learning that Daryl is a psi-anomoly, Bastion tells Gyrich to give him the DX order for Nina. Since the body bag from early had the letters DX on it, that can’t be a good thing. Nina visits Charles again and explains how she can read people, except Bastion. Charles tells her about his own powers, and Nina offers to turn them back on, but he tells her he’s not ready. Xavier wishes for a phone and she makes one appear, which he uses to call Renee Majcomb. Thysson sees the Rainbow Bears back on the monitor and goes to investigate. She barges into the cell, and Nina reveals herself because she senses Thysson is good.

Nina tells her that she read that she was scheduled for DX. To save the girl, Ingrid gives Xavier access to a hover vehicle to distract the guards. Thysson tries to get Nina out, but they are stopped by Darryl Smith. Xavier is recaptured and Thysson is knocked out. Smith delivers the girl in the body bag to Bastion; Bastion claims he takes no pleasure in this. On board the helicopter meant to dispose of the body, the soldier notes that the body bag is empty.

The next day, Thysson tells Xavier that she’s been transferred. She assumes that the little girl mentally controlled them, but a phone appears out of thin air. It seems that Renee has picked up Nina, and that Nina also has the power to appear dead and lifeless. Charles is happy and tells Nina to find more people like herself. Nina ends the issue by telling Renee that one day she is going to turn Charlie back on.

How It Was: Well, let’s get to the huge, gaping problem. This issue is called Onslaught: Epilogue, yet it has absolutely nothing to do with Onslaught whatsoever. In reality, it should’ve been called Operation Zero Tolerance: Prologue, but I guess Marvel was eager to keep cashing in on their super-mega crossover. Really, this is the type of issue that belonged in X-Men Unlimited, and it was most likely editorially mandated. As it is, it offers up an interesting twist on Xavier’s fate, and it offers some cool sequences where the Professor gets to calmly stand up to the bully Bastion. As a Xavier character piece, it’s actually quite good at exploring his feelings of hopelessness and his desires at redemption, all while constantly frustrating Bastion.

But then there’s Nina the Mannite, who is an overly cutesy overpowered plot device. She seems to have about a million powers, from phasing to telepathy to dropping her heartbeat, but for some reason she hasn’t escaped Bastion up to this point. Yeah, she’s a little girl, but she can materialize phones and block security systems, so what the heck is her hold up? Believe it or not Nina actually appears quite a bit later down the line, so you have that to look forward to, don’t you?

As for the rest, I like Xavier as Bastion’s prisoner, but the circumstances under his imprisonment are a little iffy. Henry Gyrich, who isn’t supposed to be a bad guy, just one who doesn’t question rules often enough, seems pretty oblivious to the fact that Bastion is mistreating a voluntary prisoner for no particular good reason. Shouldn’t he and Thysson be reporting Bastion, I mean he’s planning on annihilating an entire race? And shouldn’t Renee contact the X-Men to tell them what’s going on? Oh well. While the plot isn’t spectacular and the new characters are less than compelling, Hama does an admirable job with the internal and external struggles of Professor X, even if it is in a story that’s hard to really care about. This story definitely didn’t warrant its own one-shot, but what are you going to do?

D+

X-Men #57

X-Men #57
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Andy Kubert

What Went Down: In Cerebro, which I thought was still damaged but whatever, Xavier is asking the computer to locate himself. Because Xavier no longer has powers the computer cannot detect him. Xavier has Cerebro delete all files on Professor X, including the ones in Massachusetts, Muir Isle, and the Mutant Underground. The mansion is still fairly damaged and Xavier reflects on the destruction while looking at old photos of the original X-Men.

The doorbell rings and Cyclops answers it to find Val Cooper standing there. Cyclops asks about his brother, but Havok is still missing after turning evil. She has actually come to take Professor X into custody. Cyclops, Wolverine, and Bishop are not eager to allow that. They walk past Iceman and Cannonball, who are watching video of Graydon Creed’s speeches in preparation to go undercover in his camp. Cyclops reasserts that Xavier isn’t going anywhere, but Storm shows up to explain that Cooper is right because no one can guarantee that something like Onslaught will never happen again.

Outside in Washington Square Park, Beast is enjoying a beautiful day while using an image inducer to hide his appearance. A young child runs by pretending to be a mutant monster, which spoils Hank’s good mood. Beast is meeting up with his ex-girlfriend Trish Tilby. It seems that during his time spent as a captive of Dark Beast, Hank realized that Trish was the love of his life. Even though he felt betrayed by the Legacy story, he realized he overreacted. They embrace, even though she doesn’t give him a definite answer.

Back at the mansion, Jean shows up and tells the team that she agrees with turning Xavier over, since she was in Xavier’s mind while he was being influenced by Onslaught and did not enjoy it one bit. Val turns the TV to the news to show the destruction to the city and the vigils people are giving for the Avengers and the Fantastic Four. This goes a long way toward proving her point.

In Manhattan, J. Jonah Jameson thinks back to when he saw Storm and Cannonball during the beginning of the Onslaught event. Bastion shows up to their meeting and tells Jameson that he should stop the inquiries he is making. Jameson tells him not to bother intimidating him. Bastion threatens that he knows a lot about the publisher, so Jameson throws his wallet at him to prove his point.

Back at the mansion Joseph shows up to weigh in on the debate. He thinks that they are seeking to punish Xavier for something he did not do. Val doesn’t recognize Joseph. Quicksilver also chimes in with his opinion. Xavier shows up to quell the debate and agrees to turn himself over to learn more about the threat he represents. Joseph feels guilty because once again he is to be left blameless, but Xavier insists that it is a second chance for him. He gives a speech thanking the X-Men for their loyalty and patience, but says he owes it to the perished heroes to do what he feels is best. Back at Archangel’s loft, Psylocke finds it empty. When she searches for Warren, all she finds are feathers.

How It Was: Well after the X-Men got their crossover stolen from them by the other Marvel Heroes, it left them without much of a direction to go in. Plus afterwards, Scott Lobdell was once again left with two monthly X-Men titles to fill. He goes the understandable route of having the books basically make up one bi-weekly story in individual increments. Fair enough. This issue is spent dealing with what should happen to Professor X after Onslaught. This is a fair question and Lobdell uses all the characters to cover just about every possible side of the debate. While there are different factors to consider, it basically boils down to the potential threat of Xavier versus how he was not purposefully responsible for the creation of Onslaught. Of course this means that once again we have an issue that is light on action. That’s okay, since Onslaught took forever, but Andy Kubert does feel the necessity to throw in some overwrought action poses of the X-Men acting hostile towards Val Cooper.

The Beast stuff is okay; it’s nice that Lobdell is still following up on his long captivity; it’s just that his relationship with Trish never really goes anywhere. It is yet another example of an X-Men subplot that seemed better in hindsight but never really developed. The sequences with Jameson and Bastion are just plain weird; I still can’t understand what he’s doing in this series, especially since Cannonball and Iceman are getting ready to go undercover. That seems redundant as far as looking through Creed’s dirty laundry goes.

Val Cooper carries the issue as the realist who hates what she’s doing but knows that it’s the right thing. Her use of the news allows a nice glimpse of the effects of Onslaught, and it’s cool to see her stand her own against the likes of Wolverine. It’s a shame that Kubert drew her hair wrong and it had to be covered up with a dialogue balloon about the summer frizzes, but oh well. Xavier also shines in this issue with his speech at the end; it’s nice to see him jump at the chance to have purpose again after losing his powers. I don’t really understand the point of deleting all his files, maybe something Lobdell was going to build on? But it’s nice to see one last issue show how important Professor X is to the X-Men before he’s shipped out of the book.

B

Uncanny X-Men #337

Uncanny X-Men #337
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down: Wolverine starts off the issue outside in the rain trying to give Professor X a much-needed pep talk. Xavier blames himself for Onslaught and the death of the all the Avengers and Fantastic Four. Wolverine tells Charles that he shares the blame, since Xavier was influenced by Magneto because he was reacting to Wolverine’s loss of adamantium. Wolverine sympathizes with Xavier’s condition, even though Charles insists that their losses are nothing alike.

In Central Park, site of the final battle with Onslaught, Bastion is surveying the crater where Onslaught blew up. Presidential Candidate Graydon Creed is also there, blaming mutants for the tragedy and using it as a springboard for his campaign. Peter Parker, aka Spider-Man, feels disgusted as he is forced to take pictures of Creed while he rants. At the Daily Bugle, J. Jonah Jameson and Robbie Robertson are discussing Creed’s campaign. Robbie thinks that Creed is a lowbrow politician that will say anything to get elected, but Jameson insists that he sells papers and may be the biggest story of the year.

At the X-Mansion, Cyclops shuts off his alarm clock by destroying it with an optic blast. He realizes he overreacted and reflects on how tense life has been for the X-Men. Beast surprises Cyclops in the bathroom causing him to drop his glasses and let loose another blast. Beast brings up the fact that Cyclops never once attacked the imposter Beast while he was being held captive. Scott apologizes, but Beast admits that he had been absorbed in his lab work for the most part. Cyclops gets Beast out of the bathtub, only to have Iceman trick them both into falling back in. Cyclops blasts the mirror and reflects a shot that hits Bobby.

Jean is making breakfast for all of the X-Men. Quicksilver is sitting with her; he is staying with the X-Men while he mopes about the death of his wife Crystal and sister the Scarlet Witch. Psylocke shows up, but tells Jean that Archangel isn’t feeling well. Quicksilver comments on how distant Betsy seems.

Bastion enters the secret base of Operation Zero Tolerance. His assistant Harper gives him an update, but shapeshifts into Bastions form to give it. Bastion slaps him and tells him to get back to work. Wolverine gives Xavier a speech about how important he is to everyone, but Charles insists on staying outside. The rest of the X-Men gather for breakfast. Gambit asks about Joseph, who went out with Rogue because he did not feel comfortable with the other X-Men. Wolverine comes in from the rain and tells everyone that Xavier isn’t coming. The team sits down to enjoy the meal together.

How It Was: It’s one of Lobdell’s famous after-crossover epilogues, and this one is pretty solid. As usual it’s a nice quiet issue where different characters take time to process the events of the crossover while the writers set up some new storylines for later down the road. Given the nature of the end of Onslaught, nobody really knows how to act and everyone is on edge. It’s good to see Wolverine reach out to Xavier (even if it is the goofy looking troll-Wolverine) and draw a number of parallels between the two, and Joe Mad draws a great rainy morning. On top of that, the cover for this issue is easily one of Madureira’s best and most appropriate covers ever.

The scenes with Cyclops, Beast, and Iceman feel pretty forced, but whereas that would normally be a negative in a comic, it actually works well here. The fact is that everyone is so tense, and the heroes are just looking for a way to deal with their issues and just enjoy each other’s company again. Beast especially has just gone through this terrible ordeal, and it’s clear he doesn’t really have anyone to blame or anyway to really deal with it when everyone else is dealing with the loss of the heroes. Maybe it’s just me, but the tone feels just right, with characters like Iceman and Gambit going out of their way to try to be silly and funny. We also get subplot building with Psylocke’s personality, but that doesn’t really go anywhere, and haven’t we done enough with Psylocke’s weird personalities of the week?

As for the subplot building, they are three fold: there’s Graydon Creed’s presidential candidacy, Bastion’s buildup towards Operation Zero Tolerance, and a weird one involving J. Jonah Jameson’s investigation into Creed, and later Bastion. I say weird because it involves a lot of Spider-Man characters appearing in X-Men, but they never actually crossover. In fact, #346 ends up just starring Spider-Man for the whole issue, but we’ll have more on that later.

The fact is that because Lobdell is once again writing both X-Men titles, we’re going into a period of quality that was about as good as before Mark Waid showed up i.e. not very good. This period lasts for about a year, and unfortunately all of these plot lines sort of fizzle out or abruptly end. There’s also Joseph, the new X-Man who was once Magneto to deal with, so that’s kind of interesting. I just want you to brace yourselves for some comics that are not among Lobdell’s best. Still, this one is pretty good and perfectly captures a shell-shocked family trying to return to life before the trauma. Xavier’s reactions feel quite genuine, and it’s nice to see all of the other X-Men going out of their ways to help each other.

B+

Onslaught: Marvel Universe

Onslaught: Marvel Universe
Writing: Scott Lobdell and Mark Waid
Art: Adam Kubert and Joe Bennet

What Went Down: The Watcher (yes, again with the Watcher) opens the issue after the final battle, speaking about the end of the Age of Wonders. He also claims that his job is done, but we all know that isn’t true. We cut back to Xavier facing off against Onslaught from the end of X-Men #56. Because he has no powers, Xavier isn’t doing too well. The X-Men show up, knock Onslaught away, and rescue Xavier. Onslaught makes a giant hand out of rock to attack the mutants, then blasts them into submission. Fortunately the combined forces of the Avengers, Fantastic Four, Dr. Doom, and the Hulk show up for the rescue.

The fight begins and Joseph is knocked unconscious by some debris. Xavier crawls to him and gets Joseph behind cover. Inside Onslaught, Franklin and Nate Grey discuss possibly escaping. Outside, Iron Man explains that everyone is equipped with psi-scramblers, even though nobody is seen wearing them. Cyclops claims that the X-Men are protected by Cable and Jean, even though Onslaught is supposed to be more powerful than everyone. Onslaught erects a force shield and creates a…wait for it…second sun in the sky whose gravity threatens to destroy the Earth. In practice, all it does is make the battle really windy.

Nate Grey reflects that a five-year-old kid is braver than he is. He reaches out to Cable since they share a connection as the same person from different dimensions. Cable senses them and concocts a plan to use Joseph, Xavier, and himself to magnify each other’s powers to save Franklin and Nate. Doom gives a long monologue about how it’s up to him to save the day while various secondary characters of the Marvel Universe see the second sun and wonder if the world is going to end.

Here’s how the heroes get through Onslaught’s forcefield. Vision merges with Rogue, which isn’t his power—he’s supposed to just turn intangible. Wolverine pierces the field, with his bone claws mind you, and Namor and Giant-Man hold the hole open for Vision/Rogue to fly through and hit Onslaught, which appears ineffective, but destroys the force field nonetheless.

The Hulk asks Jean to shut off Banner so that he can lose control on Onslaught and go all out. She leaves the memory of Betty Ross, but turns Hulk savage. He and Onslaught beat each other while the forces of nature rip the area around the heroes apart. Hulk hits Onslaught so hard that a huge explosion occurs, destroying Onslaught and separating Banner from the Hulk.

The heroes think they’ve won, but Onslaught has just “evolved” into his final energy form. Without a body to fight, the heroes figure that the energy needs a physical vessel to destroy. Thor flies in first, followed by all the other heroes of the Marvel Universe in varying groups. Inside Onslaught, the area the prisoners are in is starting to break down.

Mr. Fantastic stops Wolverine, Crystal, and Quicksilver from going in the energy. He explains that because Onslaught was unaffected by Rogue’s attack, that mutant genetic patterns give him more power because he began life as a mutant. Of course, then he has to make some plot convenient excuse for the Scarlet Witch related to her powers, but there you have it. Quicksilver is saddened, but relieved that his wife will be spared, but she tells him that Richards said nothing about Inhumans, and runs into the void.

Doom tries to absorb some of Onslaught’s energy to use in a later plot, but Hawkeye and Iron Man stop him and send him into the void with them. Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Woman are the last non-mutant heroes; they tell Cyclops to attack the energy as soon as they’re in and not to hold back. There is a huge explosion, and Bruce Banner gets sucked into the Void right as it’s happening. Xavier and Joseph are also able to save Nate and Franklin right as the explosion takes place. As the heroes die, Franklin uses his vast, plot convenient powers to create a pocket universe for their spirits to go to, thus creating the Heroes Reborn Universe for the Image relaunch. From the perspective of news reporters outside, the world at large believes that the X-Men betrayed the other heroes and killed them, which causes further hatred towards mutants in future X-Men arcs. Professor X consoles Franklin about the death of his family, and we see a blue ball in the grass that is actually the pocket universe itself. No, really, there is an entire universe in that young boy’s ball.

Professor X asks Nate Grey to take him above the rooftops to survey the damage. Nate is really impressed with the heroes, and wishes he could’ve learned more from them. Going back to Uatu, it turns out he wasn’t just narrating to nobody; he was still talking with Apocalypse. Apocalypse agrees that it is an impressive story, but also realizes with so many heroes dead it is the perfect time to try to conquer the world himself.

How It Was: Well it’s finally over, and unlike the majority of this crossover, significant events actually take place. There’s some big action scenes, a surprising detail to characters and relationships, and it really captures the grand scope of the Marvel Universe’s New York. And while there are definitely a lot of issues with the story structure in general, I have to say that there are enough really good moments to outweigh some of them. Quite simply, this absolutely feels like it affects the entirety of the Marvel Universe, and it really does…for the following year. Waid’s script manages to catch most of the character beats that longtime FF and Avengers fans want to see, from Quicksilver’s anguish over Crystal’s death to the forgiveness of Giant-Man and the Wasp. Seeing the Hulk fight Onslaught is pretty awesome, even though he’s only been a presence in his own title and an issue of Cable. Yes, it gets a little schmaltzy and emotional at times, but the heroes are aware that they are literally sacrificing their lives for the world, so it works. Unlike many gratuitous character deaths for shock value in events, this one feels handled with love and respect as the writers go out of their way to show them as noble and heroic as they can.

So as usual, the handling of the characters is fantastic. Where does it go wrong? Well there are far too many characters in this book to be fighting just one villain. Yes Onslaught is supposed to be this cosmic level bad guy, but whereas characters like Dark Phoenix and Galactus have specific abilities and powers, Onslaught’s powers are just made up as the writers go along. Creating a second sun isn’t impressive, it’s just ridiculous, and while it’s handled as serious at the beginning, it really just gets ignored for the remainder of the issue. Then he creates an impenetrable forcefield. Oh wait, the heroes penetrated it, now he’s turned to energy. There is no real logic whatsoever to what Onslaught does; it’s all for the sake of editorially mandated plot convenience. Certain heroes have to end up in Heroes Reborn and others can’t. Thus we get the absurd rule that mutants can’t fight Onslaught, except for Scarlet Witch, and Namor, who the writers and editors forgot is also a mutant. Also, Cannonball, Archangel, and Psylocke are missing for no particularly good reason, but it’s not like their inclusion would have mattered much.

Which brings us to the real problem with this issue, with this whole series in general. It’s an X-Men story where the X-Men have been completely pushed to the side to spotlight the Avengers and Fantastic Four in order to justify a gimmicky relaunch of four of their titles. The X-Men start off the issue on their own, but quickly get overshadowed by the real heroes. Even Xavier and Joseph, who should theoretically have something really significant to contribute since they were the genesis of the villain, get nothing to do except rescue some prisoners. I do like the angle that humans view the X-Men as traitors at the end of the story, but surely the X-Men could just explain the circumstances to people. I guess they were worried that people would learn Xavier was Onslaught, but there probably was a way around it. And what the heck happened to Onslaught’s mutant armies and Sentinels?

The art captures the story quite nicely, but like everything else with Onslaught, inconsistencies abound. The psi-armor that was made such a huge deal out of for issues on end isn’t even drawn on the heroes, and the X-Men decide they don’t even need it. Trish Tilby is drawn completely wrong, and the everyday people of New York are drawn just going about their lives while the battle is raging. Haven’t Sentinels been attacking New York? Wasn’t there a huge EMP that took out all the power in the city? Why is Foggy Nelson just out buying groceries with Karen Page while the writers at the Bugle are just going to work like usual? Shouldn’t they evacuate? I don’t know, maybe I’m just thinking too hard about this.

While I was expecting to hate rereading this issue, I have to say it is more of a mixed bag than pure garbage. Parts of it are very, very stupid, like a little boy creates an entire universe with his imagination and puts it in a blue ball stupid. But there are some undeniably cool parts for the Marvel heroes, even if it does come at the expense of the X-Men. Sure, running into a ball of energy isn’t exactly the most stunning personal sacrifice to be depicted in comics, but this does end up feeling really important. Plus it indirectly leads to the Heroes Return Avengers, which is one of my favorite comic series of all time (Go Buisek and Perez!). It could’ve been a lot worse, I guess, but it kind of, sort of holds up, though not completely.

C+

X-Men #56

X-Men #56
Writing: Mark Waid and Scott Lobdell
Art: Andy Kubert

What Went Down: A giant Sentinel foot descends on a mother and child, but fortunately Joseph and Rogue show up to save the day. Joseph uses his powers to stop the Sentinel, but it adapts and swats him out of the sky. Rogue tries to help, but it is Dr. Doom who saves them both. Doom addresses Joseph as Magneto, and Joseph relates his impressions of Doom to Captain America. Cap reiterates that Joseph is doing a good job as a hero and tells him that really he should be talking with Xavier.

In Onslaught’s citadel, Onslaught’s forces have captured Nate Grey, the X-Man from the Age of Apocalypse. Nate mentions that he has beaten all of Onslaught’s minions, causing the villain to contemplate their worth. Onslaught explains that Nate’s psionic powers make him stronger and that he will use them to usher in an age of mutant sovereignty.

Xavier talks with Joseph about how they both share some blame in the origin of Onslaught. They have a good talk about the man Magneto used to be, and Xavier sends Joseph to the hero strategy meeting. The Professor claims that he will fight Onslaught in his own way.

Inside Nate’s mind, Onslaught sees images of the Age of Apocalypse. He’s quite disappointed with how a world run by mutants turned out, even though it was really a world run by Apocalypse. Onslaught reconsiders his plans for mutant rule.

Inside the strategy meeting, the heroes are getting ready to attack. Jean telepathically communicates with Cyclops that the Professor has gone off to fight Onslaught himself. Cyclops tells Jean to summon the rest of the X-Men in secret to go after him.

After absorbing Nate Grey’s power, Onslaught throws him in with Franklin Richards. Onslaught senses Xavier and goes to meet him below. Xavier tries to reason with Onslaught, imploring him on behalf of any part of Xavier that might still be in the villain. Onslaught smashes Charles’ hoverchair and announces that he has decided to kill everyone since neither race deserves the planet.

How It Was: This is both the penultimate chapter of the Onslaught crossover (Thank God) and Mark Waid’s swan song on the book (Aw Crud). Waid had been voicing concerns about editorial mandates restricting creative freedom for quite some time. Plus, after having to write the stories that meant his leaving Avengers and Captain America, I don’t think he was a very happy camper, and rightfully so. So, like Fabian Nicieza before him, Waid ends his run on X-Men…after only six issues. In fact, he’s only credited with the script on this one.

So how does this one measure up? More of the same; heroes fighting Sentinels, Onslaught alluding to his master plan to save mutants that makes no sense, and heroes standing around and talking about how awful this all is (the destruction mind you, not the story). Unlike most penultimate issues of stories, this one has absolutely no momentum; it doesn’t really feel like it’s building towards anything special, just the main fight with Onslaught that we’ve been waiting three freaking months for. There’s a lot of talk about the psi-armor being finished, but it was already finished issues ago, so this is mostly padding.

The plot is virtually non-existent. There are some scenes of the captive Nate Grey, captured in his own series, who was needed for Onslaught’s master plan…for some reason? Really we already knew that Onslaught had targeted Nate Grey from the first chapter of this story, so it is mind boggling why the writers waited until now for him to show up because it certainly isn’t a big surprise before the end of the story. Also having Onslaught change motivations at the last minute seems rather silly; he’s been ranting the whole series about how he’s helping mutantkind, even though it’s completely unclear how he’s doing that, and then at the last second he sees the Age of Apocalypse and decides to destroy the planet. No, I’m sorry there is just no logic or sense to back up that plan at all. And Doom shows up out of nowhere, which is kind of neat, but he doesn’t really contribute anything to the overall story; he’s only here to get sucked into the Heroes Reborn world next issue.

So what does work? Well, the dialogue from Waid is spectacular; these are seriously some superb interactions between characters. Whether it’s Joseph and Cap bonding over the sheer absurdity that is Doom’s personality, to Xavier’s thoughtful deconstruction of his friend Magneto, all of the characters ring true in their exchanges. The art is pretty fantastic, even if this is the zillionth Onslaught issue Marvel has put out involving fighting Sentinels. While the characterizations are great, I can’t really understand a lot of the behaviors different characters choose. Xavier’s decision doesn’t make much sense, unless they’re going for an Xavier that feels so guilty that he can’t live with the repercussions of Onslaught, which actually would be an interesting take on the character. And I can’t understand why Cyclops doesn’t just tell all of the heroes that they need to go rescue Xavier. Surely they have a better chance of surviving with more people, and don’t they need that fancy psi-armor? Apparently not as we learn in the conclusion.

While there is some good writing to be found, this story is still poorly organized at this point, which is just about the end. It’s not just that there are too many characters; it’s the fact that nothing compelling has happened in any of the issues to impact the story. Everyone is writing character side stories, which is fine, except that nobody has bothered to write the main story. Thankfully, next month things get back to normal, because while there were some nice moments, this just isn’t that great. Although I will say that this is above average for an issue of Onslaught.

B-

Wolverine #105

Wolverine #105
Writing: Larry Hama
Art: Val Semeiks

What Went Down: Wolverine starts the issue with a splash page (no pun intended) of him being hosed down. Well, he’s not entering a wet t-shirt contest. He’s actually getting ready to run into a burning building to rescue a little boy. When Wolverine jumps off the ladder to save him, the boy runs back into the fire to save his teddy bear. The roof starts to collapse, so Wolverine and the boy can’t make it out the way he entered. To calm the boy named Sean, Wolverine puts his mask on him to convince him that he’s a super hero and can’t die.

Elektra’s sensei Stick just happens to show up. Since he is blind, he has no problems leading Wolverine through the smoke. The escape involves having Wolverine leap through a huge wall of flames. After healing from some horrible burns, Wolverine runs back into the building to try to save Stick. He is thanked with a crack on the head.

Stick fights Wolverine on the roof of the burning building. Wolverine reveals that he knows who Stick is and that Stick should be dead. Stick then goes through a whole explanation about how Wolverine hasn’t been the same since he lost the adamantium and how he needs to pull himself together. As the roof collapses, Stick points to an area in the smoke and tells Wolverine that he’ll survive if he jumps there. The Human Torch appears at the end telling Wolverine to meet them at Four Freedoms Plaza for the final battle with Onslaught.

How It Was: Once again we have another Onslaught issue that is not about Onslaught. And to tell you the truth, that’s fine at this point since nobody is allowed to progress the story anyways. Instead we have our hero saving some civilians caught up in the destruction. Ignoring that the firemen’s trucks shouldn’t be working after the EMP, this issue has a perfectly fine set up. It’s nice to see Wolverine interact with the small child, and there is a kind of cute part where the victims he saves can’t remember his name. All fine and very competent. On the other hand, it does feel a little generic, as in you could take out Wolverine and put any other Marvel hero in this story and it would still work.

Stick’s appearance comes out of nowhere, especially due to the fact that he’s supposed to be dead. I understand Elektra, his disciple, is supposed to be helping Logan through his recent changes, but Stick’s own help feels redundant. What makes it worse is that Stick is kind of a jerk to Wolverine after he goes back to help the old man, and all the advice he gives to Wolverine is stuff that we already know he needs to do at this point. All I can say is that I really don’t care about Stick at all and he feels so out of place here. Wolverine is out doing what he should be doing, there’s no real need to do the chastising mentor bit right now. At least Wolverine’s speech patterns are back to normal.

It’s not bad, it just feels like Hama is stalling until he can get back to his own storylines. The appearance by the Human Torch at the end serves only as a reminder of how little is going on at this point as all the heroes are pretty much just gathering for the final issue.

C-

Fantastic Four #416

Fantastic Four #416
Writing: Tom DeFalco
Art: Carlos Pachco

What Went Down: Dr. Doom’s servant begins by explaining to his master the Onslaught storyline up to this point, including the capture of Franklin and the EMP. Doom declares that this situation requires his personal attention.

At Four Freedoms Plaza, a number of heroes are trying to rest in between going out and fighting Sentinels. The Invisible Woman finds some of Franklin’s toys and feels depressed. Ant-Man, who is working for the FF at this point, regains consciousness, but he is too weak from the EMP frying his helmet, and because of it, part of his brain. The Beast also brings up the fact that he was recently rescued over in X-Factor. Mr. Fantastic’s father Nathaniel tells Sue that the FF need to flee or they will die; he knows this because he is a time traveler who has seen the future. Sue refuses without Franklin, and she goes off with her husband to have a talk.

Inside Onslaught, Franklin is using his powers to send projections to warn his family where he is. It is explained that he was tricked into luring Nate Grey into a trap over in Nate’s book X-Man. On the roof of FF Plaza, Hawkeye and Iceman complain about how boring recon is. Inside, Sue and Reed have a conversation about whether they’ve neglected their responsibility to their son by putting him in danger all the time. Mr. Fantastic swears they will figure it out after they defeat Onslaught.

The Thing contemplates how alone he is as he watches the Torch and Lyja talk alone; Ben has a crush on Lyja at this point. Alicia Masters and her father the Puppet Master show up to offer their help against Onslaught. In another room Ant-Man’s daughter Cassie Lang is busy talking with Kristoff Vernard, a twelve-year-old boy who had all of Dr. Doom’s knowledge and memories implanted in him. They discuss a friend of Cassie’s who was being abused, and Cassie says that he finally told a teacher and got help for him and his mother from his abusive father. Kang the Conqueror appears, but Kristoff punches him once and the Conqueror dissolves.

The Thing and Alicia talk, and he explains that recently he’s been utilizing a machine to change back and forth into a normal human. The couple is attacked by the Psycho-Man. Meanwhile Lyja explains that she has been posing as another woman to date Johnny without him knowing, but they are interrupted by Paibok and the Super-Skrull. Fortunately for them, the Inhumans show up to help in defeating the aliens. In another hall, Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Woman fight Wizard, Mad Thinker, and Devos the Devastator. Namor the Sub-Mariner turns up to help.

Nathaniel Richards is being attacked by the Red Ghost, but he is saved by the Black Panther and members of the Fantastic Force. Reed realizes what is happening—these enemies are really projections from Franklin warped by Onslaught, and he goes off to build a machine that can stop it (just like every other FF story you’ve ever read). She-Hulk appears to help out the Thing against Tyros the Terrible. Reed’s machine needs a power source, so the Thing pulls the power source from the machine that lets him turn back into a human.

Outside the Torch is fighting Annihilus and the Dragon Man, but Doctor Doom shows up to save him. Johnny thinks Doom is another adversary to fight at first. The Invisible Woman is attacked by her Malice persona, but Agatha Harkness appears to rescue her. Reed flips the switch on his machine and all the villains disintegrate. Sue tells Reed that Harkness claims Franklin is still alive, and everybody gets excited. Johnny shows up and tells everyone that Doom is now on their side. The team does the traditional hands in the middle pose, and the series ends on a spread of the FF and all their allies, old and new, ready for action.

How It Was: Groan…yet another double-sized issue. Yet this one doesn’t feel as extraneous since this is supposed to be the formal end to Marvel’s oldest and longest running comic (at the time). Poor Tom DeFalco had obviously been doing a fine job of setting up different subplots for his characters that all had to be hurriedly rushed to completion in time for the end of Onslaught. Cassie Lang’s friend who was being abused by his father is all wrapped up with two panels of exposition, the Torch just forgives Lyja for impersonating another woman because there isn’t any time for a different resolution, and Alicia Masters is wheeled out randomly to bring some closure to the ongoing ordeal of the Thing’s loneliness. This all feels really, really rushed. I will admit though that I do love the part where the Thing tears the power source out of his changing machine, not just because I feel the machine lessens the inherent drama of a great tragic character, but also because it’s just a really great example of Ben Grimm stepping up and being a hero.

As for the plot, well… this has absolutely nothing to do with Onsluaght, and it doesn’t really fit the tone of the other crossover books. Instead DeFalco seems more interested in giving the Fantastic Four a proper sendoff by going through a number of past villains and having a bunch of allies show up for absolutely no reason at all. And really, without Dr. Doom or Galactus as potential adversaries, this book is limited to some pretty weak villains, even before you add in the part about dissolving with one punch. Tyros the Terrible? Devos the Devastator? These really aren’t the strongest characters from Marvel’s back catalog. And the Inhumans show up completely out of nowhere. Some of the appearances are kind of neat, but there are just so many that none of them feel significant in any way. And of course it has to end with Reed flipping the Deus Machina switch to save the day, although this comes off more as an homage to tradition, rather than purposefully stale writing.

The other major problem with the plot only matters if you read Avengers #400, which came out two months prior to this issue. In it Loki uses magic to attack a team of past and present Avengers characters with artificial avatars of villains from throughout the team’s history. Does that sound in any way familiar? Now I’m not accusing DeFalco of blatant plagiarism, after all I’ve read similarly structured stories in Spider-Man and the X-Men, but it still isn’t a really a stupendous issue. Plus all the Avengers and X-Men are completely ignored for the sake of giving the FF a proper sendoff; Iceman and Hawkeye are shown observing the villains approaching, then they are never seen again for the entire double-sized issue.

Pacheco is perfect for drawing this kind of issue with lots and lots of different characters. If you want to see how good he gets at drawing giant epic scale battles, go buy Avengers Forever. Still, his Onslaught looks even more out of place now that he isn’t drawing the “evolved” version of the bad guy, although he’s not really in the issue long enough to care. The art definitely elevates the story above the shallow plot structure and hurried subplot wrap-ups that DeFalco is editorially forced to endure. It’s not an ideal ending for the team, especially in the middle of a larger storyline, but I guess it gets the job done.

C-

Avengers #402

Avengers #402
Writing: Mark Waid
Art: Mike Deodato and Tom Palmer

What Went Down: The Avengers start out by rescuing a subway full of people trapped underground. Didn’t something similar already happen in Uncanny? Don’t worry about it! Once they get above ground, Captain America seems overwhelmed by the chaos around them, as buildings crumble and fires rage. The Avengers spend some time rescuing civilians and getting them to safety. They come across the Black Widow, technically the leader of the Avengers at this point, being mobbed by desperate people. Cap orders them away, and the Widow goes off to help more people.

Iron Man and Giant Man show up and tell the Avengers that they’ve completed the psionic armor. Unfortunately they’ve brought it with them, right as they are attacked by Post and Holocaust. The two villains are trying to steal the armor, and they have cloaking fields that render them invisible. While they fight the Avengers, the surrounding civilians begin to feel hopeless as the heroes are beaten. As the fight rages, Wasp asks Captain America what they should do; he replies that they can’t beat them. The Wasp is shocked to hear that Cap is giving up, but what Cap meant was that they couldn’t beat the villains head-on and needed to trick them. So Captain America throws his shield, triggers Post’s cloak, and tricks Holocaust into shooting him. While Holocaust is shocked by his actions, the Avengers beat the crap out of him. The crowd cheers, inspired by the Avengers’ victory. Onslaught appears on a giant screen to taunt the heroes. They destroy the screen and charge off, while saying “Avengers Assemble” of course.

How It Was: This is actually the last issue of the Avengers’ initial run. After the Onslaught storyline, the Avengers get shuffled off to the Heroes Reborn universe and the numbering starts over at issue one. So Mark Waid had the task of providing a closing to the Marvel Universe’s greatest heroes while making it fit within the Onslaught crossover. Oh, and he couldn’t resolve anything in the Onslaught storyline either. What we get is an issue of the Avengers doing what they do best, saving lives and inspiring people, followed by a fight with two C-list X-Men villains, which probably isn’t the conclusion Stan Lee would have envisioned 401 issues prior.

The story is okay, nothing spectacular. Mark Waid doesn’t even get a chance to wrap up any of the dangling sub plots his tenure as writer had set up (Kurt Buisek would handle them years later), and he also has the unpleasant duty of writing the issue that essentially makes his job obsolete. Black Widow gets brushed aside during the course of the story because she can’t go to Heroes Reborn; she’s needed in Daredevil and around the Marvel Universe. Vision is still lying on a bed off panel and Hawkeye is nowhere to be found, so they don’t get to be in the finale either. Come to think of it, while this Avengers roster consists solely of veterans, these are not the best versions of these characters. We have teenage Tony Stark/Iron Man, a Wasp who is an actual insect person, the poorly named Giant Man, and redesigns of classic costumes for characters like the Scarlet Witch and Thor that show how hard the Avengers Bullpen was trying to rip off the look of the X-Men.

So they’re rescuing civilians, which is fine except that the same thing is happening in every other Marvel book, and then they have to fight two villains that they have nothing to do with. The art is phenomenal and it really makes the issue. The battle is brutal as heroes are ambushed and thrown around. The mislead of the disheartened Captain America is a little contrived, but it’s not like Waid can really build drama any other way, since the plot isn’t allowed to proceed until Onslaught: Marvel Universe.

This is just a really odd issue to end the Avengers on. Waid definitely does his best, and at least the characters aren’t overshadowed in their own book as the X-Men have been in theirs’. Considering how bad the next year was for Avengers fans, this probably didn’t seem so bad, but it still feels like Earth’s Mightiest Heroes deserved better.

C+

Cable #35

Cable #35
Writing: Jeph Loeb
Art: Ian Churchill

What Went Down: The opening page is an info dump setting up this point in the Onslaught storyline—brought to us by Uatu the Watcher. Down below Cable and the Invisible Woman are fighting against the psychic storm that is raging with her forcefield, which is being reinforced by his powers. Unfortunately, as Cable puts more effort into reinforcing the forcefield, he is losing control of the techno-organic virus that infects half his body. Sue offers her husband’s help, and Apocalypse shows up to tell them that Onslaught must be stopped. Of course this is a super hero comic, so Cable and Apocalypse have to fight each other for two pages before realizing that they have a common goal.

Apocalypse suggests attacking Onslaught on the Astral Plane because Onslaught draws power from it, so he therefore must be more vulnerable there (??). Cable agrees to the team up, but tells the Invisible Woman to stay behind in case they fail to rescue Franklin. As they travel the Astral Plane, Apocalypse expresses admiration for Onslaught’s accomplishments, disgusting Cable. Apocalypse offers to cure Cable of the T.O. virus that he infected him with when Cable was a child, but Cable refuses, saying it’s made him stronger.

In his citadel, Onslaught admires the destruction with Franklin Richards attached to his back. Onslaught discovers Apocalypse and Cable, which surprises Apocalypse, and summons projections of the Hulk, Post, and Magneto to attack the duo. Cable faces the Hulk projection, and thinks back to when he fought the real Hulk all the way back in the last issue of Cable. While Cable is distracted, Apocalypse makes his way to Franklin and apologizes for having to kill the boy. Cable tells the Invisible Woman to make her move and it turns out that she has been hiding the whole time waiting for Apocalypse to betray them. As Cable and Sue fight Apocalypse, Onslaught teleports them away. Apocalypse yells at the heroes, accusing them of being narrow minded and having cost them the battle. Apocalypse teleports away, and Cable comforts Susan as she thinks about how helpless her son is alone.

Apocalypse returns to Uatu’s side; Uatu proclaims his respect for the heroes’ principles while Apocalypse sees it only as weakness. Back at the Citadel, Franklin is inspired by the bravery of Cable and his mother, and now he has hope.

How It Was: After two issues of Uncanny to set it up, Apocalypse shows up to affect Onslaught’s conquest. Then he goes away, leaving an anti-climactic dullness in the reader’s brain. This is supposed to be the return of one of the X-Men’s greatest villains, one who hasn’t been seen for about three or so years in the main universe, and the Age of Apocalypse showed how great he could truly be. So it’s not the triumphant return that fans were expecting, but Loeb does still get quite a bit right

The interaction between Apocalypse and Cable is very solid. Loeb nails the mutual hatred and respect that each of these characters has for the other. The offer of a cure for the T.O. virus is the perfect example of a back-handed mind game that the villain would play on Cable. Their interactions are probably the highlight of the issue. The central conflict of the issue, whether it is better to kill Franklin and rob Onslaught of his power, is excellent because the way Loeb handles it, Apocalypse is technically right in his viciousness and Cable and Sue have endangered millions of lives because of their own selfishness and lack of foresight. Absolutely fantastic.

However things devolve very quickly once Onslaught enters the picture. First, it’s hard to tell whether the fight takes place on the Astral Plane or the physical plane; I think it is the physical since the word balloons change shape in the Astral Plane. Then they end up fighting uninteresting copies of existing villains, and it is really disappointing to see the Hulk back in this series so soon, especially a more shallow and boring version of the character. Also, inconsistencies continue to pop up as Ian Churchill draws the wrong version of Onslaught for this point in the crossover—it should be the evolved version from Uncanny #336. Plus, if Onslaught can make his enemies disappear at will, why doesn’t he just do it at the beginning?

There is a lot to praise about this book, but it is too bad that it begins the same way as it ends…with absolutely no new plot progression at all. In the end Franklin is still captive, Sue is still distraught, and Apocalypse leaves to go back to spectating with the Watcher. You can skip this issue and not miss anything important whatsoever. On top of that, the confrontation with Onslaught makes no sense, and he uses powers that never appear in any of the other issues of this crossover. It is a nice treat for Cable fans to see the protagonist forced to interact with his arch villain, but outside of that, this is for super collectors only.

B-

Uncanny X-Men #336

Uncanny X-Men #336
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down: Franklin Richards is alone inside Onslaught with an unconscious Charles Xavier. He tries to wake the Professor up, but he can’t. Onslaught speaks to the boy and tells him that the boy will help conquer the world.

Apocalypse and Uatu the Watcher are hovering over Manhattan. They observe as people try to rescue each other from elevators and cops fire on Sentinels, all the while commenting on whether Onslaught is the next evolution of mutants. Outside Onslaught’s citadel, the Human Torch and Iceman are hiding behind an ice wall that is protecting them from the citadel’s defenses. Hawkeye joins them and they discuss rescuing young Franklin. Cyclops, Psylocke, Mr. Fantastic, and the Invisible Woman show up to get readings for the science team. Hawkeye asks Psylocke to help him free the wounded in the street (see Incredible Hulk this month) and the Invisible Woman stays behind with Iceman to try to save her son.

Joseph rescues some civilians trapped in a subway. They attack him, but Gambit knocks him out of the way. Gambit tries to explain that Joseph isn’t responsible for this, which impresses Rogue. Joseph goes off to end the threat, and Rogue and Gambit make up for their fight in X-Men #45 and hug it out.

At Four Freedoms Plaza, Vision, Iron Man, and Ant Man (??) were injured in the EMP and are recuperating. Mr. Fantastic uses Jean Grey as a sounding board for his thoughts, and Jean thinks about how inspiring he is since the creation of the FF marked the birth of the modern age of heroes (since Fantastic Four was the first of Marvel Comics’ Silver Age super hero titles). The Thing helps out a wounded Iron Man because Iron Man is determined to help no matter how weak he is.

Outside the citadel, Onslaught is producing energy and talking about how powerful he is becoming. Sue Storm wants to stop him, and Cyclops tries to stop her. She knocks him away, but Cable and Storm show up (after fighting the Hulk in his own title) to tell Sue that Cyclops knows what it’s like to have a son in danger.

Inside Onslaught, Xavier wakes up and comforts Franklin. He tells Franklin to be brave, and Onslaught takes the boy away to use him…for something. Outside, Joseph attacks Onslaught, and the villain opens his armor to reveal a trapped Xavier suffering. A group of heroes attack; Cable uses his powers to psionically enhance Joseph’s magnetic hold on Onslaught. Cyclops sees a crack in the armor and blasts it while the Invisible Woman pulls it open. Xavier notes that this allows himself to exist on the physical and psychic planes at the same time.

Thor bursts through Onslaught and rescues Xavier. Instead of defeating Onslaught, this causes him to laugh and change appearance even further. Apparently Xavier was holding Onslaught back, so now the villain is able to unleash a “psychic maelstrom” to beat back the heroes; essentially this is a big flamey forcefield thing that the heroes can’t penetrate. When asked to search for a sign of Franklin, Xavier informs everyone that he has lost his telepathic powers. In the sky, Uatu and Apocalypse talk about what is to be done next. Uatu shows Apocalypse a hologram of Cable and tells him that he knows what to do.

How It Was: Well first thing first, Joe Mad does not draw very impressive Sentinels, which is a big disappointment. But he does do a good job with all of the different heroes. And man, are there a lot of heroes. Lobdell does a decent job managing all of them, even though all they’re really doing is shuffling around until the final issue. Hawkeye and Psylocke show up just to leave, Iceman and Human Torch don’t do much. Lobdell doesn’t do a lot with the actual X-Men, although he does a good job displaying Sue Storm’s frustration and anguish, and Iron Man and the Thing get a nice little scene. Unfortunately, Lobdell’s handling of Joseph and Gambit is completely inconsistent with Mark Waid’s; while Waid had Gambit attacking Joseph and Joseph defending himself, Lobdell has Gambit acting sympathetic while Joseph blames himself. It’s just another sign of the disorganization of the Marvel Bullpen at this point. And I’d like to know how the Sentinels survived the EMP.

Actually Xavier and Franklin both get a brief chance to shine this issue as well. Lobdell manages to capture the fear and confusion a young boy would be going through, and it’s neat to see Xavier finding strength through the boy. The fight at the end is pretty cool, although it ends almost exactly like X-Men #55 ended, with an immense force from Onslaught pushing back all the heroes, and the heroes feeling hopeless because of it. I personally dislike having Onslaught as a separate entity since it seems like yet another ploy to absolve Xavier of guilt. Plus, you’d think that once Xavier is rescued, he might play a part in defeating what he created, but he doesn’t. At least we have a new plot development for X-Men with the loss of Xavier’s powers.

Once more we have lots of buildup and little payoff. Onslaught “evolves” but nothing changes because of it except for how he’s drawn. And Lobdell makes Apocalypse seem like he’s going to be a major player in the story, when all he’s going to do is show up in the next issue of this story and then disappear. So it still feels like nobody has really thought this through. This is a pretty mediocre Onslaught chapter made worse by the fact that most of the X-Men are pushed to the side by all of the guest heroes in the book. I’d like to say that Xavier’s rescue moves the story along, but really the plot is at the same place it’s been; Onslaught is more powerful than the heroes and the heroes need to figure out a way to stop Onslaught.

C