Uncanny X-Men #345

Uncanny X-Men #345
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira and Melvin Rubi

What Went Down: This issue is broken into two parts, conveniently dividing up where the artists shift. The first part begins with Sister Maria, the nun who discovered Joseph, running from her crashed car. Get this…she is being chased by a cyborg gorilla. No, really. The Sister hits the gorilla with a rock, but it continues to come after her, asking about the man she nursed to health. Just as the gorilla is about to get her, two giant slugs appear and eat through the bad guy’s chest. The mutant Maggott shows up and asks about her friend Joseph.

On Chandrila, Lilandra looks out over her ruined planet and feels sad. She wonders if this is some kind of karmic payback for her war with the Kree in the Avengers books. She thinks of Charles Xavier, and is thankful that his X-Men were able to save her Empire.

Later that night, the Shi’ar hold a banquet in honor of the dead. Joseph finds the party vulgar, but Rogue explains that different people have different ways of moving on. Rogue worries that Joseph might be turning back into Magneto, so she promises to tell him everything about the man he used to be. Elsewhere, Gambit is outside digging graves for the dead Shi’ar. The whole time he keeps apologizing for something he did when he was younger.

Back at the banquet, Beast asks Trish if she wants to get back together. Trish worries that their relationship will have the same problems it always does, but when she returns to her room, she realizes she is in love with him nonetheless.

The next day the X-Men and Trish board a Shi’ar vessel that will take them back to Earth. Lilandra demonstrates her gratitude to the X-Men by leaving one of their greatest enemies, Deathbird, in charge of the trip.

Part 2 starts with Bishop reading up on Shi’ar history. Deathbird surprises him in her evening robe, and he tries to ask her questions about her history. Deathbird is impressed that he could read the texts because they are in Shi’ar, but she dismisses the texts as a sordid manufactured history designed to make her an outcast. Bishop mentions that her true name was banned from the language when she throws the pad into the fire. Bishop tells her that she shouldn’t forget her past if she doesn’t want to repeat it.

Their argument is interrupted by a “swoosh” noise. Going to the cockpit, the X-Men discover that a giant warship is passing them at twice their speed on the way to Earth. As the X-Men’s ship tries to make it to the stargate, it is caught in the larger ship’s wake and begins to break up.

How It Was: Even though it wasn’t a major crossover, Lobdell does another—actually his last—quiet, contemplative character issue. It’s not his best, but it still manages some great material for Bishop and Deathbird, Lilandra, and Joseph and Rogue. Beast and Trish’s scene has me confused because I was under the impression that they were already back together, hence the dinner date on Christmas Eve in Uncanny #341. As for Gambit, remember all that hemming and hawing over Gambit working for Sinister back in X-Men #45…almost two years prior to this point. Yeah, well Lobdell is finally getting around to it, but it’s still six issues away.

Then there is the surreal opening where Sister Maria is being chased by and evil robo-monkey. This scene almost defies explanation, and I don’t think it serves any other purpose than introducing Maggott and setting up that he’s looking for Magneto. Maggott is not too interesting a character, at least not until Joe Kelly and Steven Seagle get their collective writing hands on him and turn him into a really amusing character to have around.

The end of the issue is quite jarring and the art isn’t very clear on what the heck is happening. It looks like the big ship makes it to the stargate first, then the X-Men talk about the gate being down, then their ship starts to break up on the last page. I’m not sure if they were attacked or if it has something to do with the gate, but the art is not helping here. Also, Beast looks a little like a donkey in the second part of the story… just saying. And it’s sort of disappointing that Joe Mad can only get half an issue done this month, although he does have a double sized issue #350 coming up.

This issue is nothing to write home about. It introduces a character that most people don’t remember, and it wraps up a space story that was pretty forgettable. Yes we have the Gambit revelation on the horizon, but other than that this book doesn’t have a lot going for it at this point.

C+

Uncanny X-Men #344

Uncanny X-Men #344
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Melvin Rubi

What Went Down: Gambit is narrating this time around, and we enter on a badly beaten and tortured Empress Lilandra being held captive by the Phalanx while her servants are being killed and assimilated. The X-Men watch in the shadows as they finalize their plan. Deathbird explains that the only reason Lilandra would surrender would be if the Phalanx had infiltrated the Shi’ar nurseries, where their offspring are held. Rogue, who has become de facto leader, sends Deathbird and Bishop to protect the nurseries. Deathbird thanks all of them.

On Earth, Senator Kelly and Henry Peter Gyrich meet in the Hulkbuster base that now houses Zero Tolerance. Kelly discusses his hesitancy to trust Bastion, even though Kelly himself has lobbied for years about the importance of safeguarding humans from mutants. Bastion apparently also has a number of people in the government sympathetic to his cause, and Kelly blames himself for blazing a trail that might end in genocide.

Bishop and Deathbird make it to the Shi’ar nest. Bishop comments on how admirable it is that Deathbird would seek to protect the innocent, and Deathbird explains that even though she thinks she should rule, she still cares about her people. Bishop explains his history to Deathbird. Then she falls over due to her previous injuries. Bishop worries that she has been attacked, but the injuries are hours old—even though last issue said it had been a week since they found her. Still, Deathbird insists on standing and fighting, even if she is going to bleed to death, impressing Bishop.

Back with the main group, Joseph is overwhelmed with grief for the slaughtered Shi’ar. Even though he can’t remember his past, he starts to have flashbacks of the Nazi concentration camps that he was a prisoner in. Gambit tries to talk to him and tells him to turn his emotions off for now, so Beast’s plan can work. While Joseph continues to watch the slaughter, Beast explains that he is rigging the Shi’ar computer to produce a frequency to separate the technological and organic aspects of the Phalanx.

Beast needs five more minutes to complete his machine, but Joseph can’t take it and attacks the Phalanx. The X-Men have no choice but to back him up while Beast finishes. Joseph saves Lilandra, and remembers that once he had vowed to never again let such atrocities occur. Meanwhile, Bishop and Deathbird fight off more aliens and comment on how impressive thy each are. As the Phalanx start to counter the X-Men’s powers, Beast throws the switch. Just when the X-Men are about to be overwhelmed, all of the Phalanx start to die. Trish Tilby cheers that they won against such impossible odds, but Gambit, worried about Joseph potentially turning evil again, claims that it doesn’t feel like a victory.

How It Was: After setting up impossible odds and a potentially epic intergalactic war to be fought, Lobdell has the Beast build a machine that just kills all the bad guys automatically. That is what I would call the definition of anti-climactic. At the very least you could have the X-Men penetrate a base to find some core or prime Phalanx that needs to be destroyed, but no, Beast just flips a switch and the X-Men win. Couldn’t the supposedly more advanced Shi’ar with their interstellar space travel and superior technology figure this out on their own?

Joseph’s reaction to the Phalanx atrocities makes up for the ending a little bit. Up until now, Joseph has been squarely on the side of the X-Men. He may’ve felt guilty about his past, but it was always clear that he was trying to be an X-Man. Here we see the old Magneto resurface, and it is a welcome sight. The tease that Joseph may yet become Magneto again is a good one, even though it is strange that Gambit is the only one who acknowledges it. However, it is annoying that Joseph has to attack the bad guys with five minutes to spare. It feels like an artificial conflict because nothing the X-Men do really matters, other than the Beast. There’s no tension at all because we all know how it’s going to end.

The Bishop/Deathbird sequences are a little more heavy-handed then they were last issue, but I still think it’s a good match, even if Lobdell has to retcon Deathbird’s past and motivations just a bit. The ending is just weird with Trish Tilby doing cheerleader poses and laughing at the victory while everyone else looks dour and somber about the thousands of dead Shi’ar; for a reporter, she is godawful at reading the climate of a room and reacting with appropriate social responses.

Joe Mad continues his sketchy grasp on deadlines as Melvin Rubi is brought in, as well as four different inkers. The art’s okay, except some of the expressions and poses aren’t really appropriate for the scenes, such as the aforementioned Trish Tilby cheer. Conversely, the two-page spread of the Imperial hall being attacked looks fantastic, as does the Shi’ar nursery.

This is a hugely underwhelming end to a story that didn’t even have a lot to do with the X-Men. The threat that was initially sold to the readers involved the fate of the universe, but it was all undone by a machine programmed by the Beast. Other than a very few moments for the X-Men, and the beginnings of the Bishop/Deathbird romance, this plot doesn’t even involve the X-Men all that much, and Trish Tilby has absolutely nothing to do. This definitely doesn’t stand up to X-Men space operas like the original Phoenix Saga, or any of the stories with the Starjammers. This just doesn’t have that many fun or interesting ideas, and the villains are just dull and one-dimensional. Definitely not what I’d call a classic.

D+

Uncanny X-Men #343

Uncanny X-Men #343
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down: Through narration boxes, the Beast explains that the X-Men have been in space for about a week, and Deathbird has been in a coma within one of the ship’s med-stations. Deathbird wakes up while Beast and Bishop are discussing her survival. Bishop accuses her of somehow being responsible for her ship’s massacre, which earns him a slap from the villain. Gambit and Joseph show up after their search for more survivors. Deathbird steals Bishop’s gun and shoots Joseph and Gambit… only they were actually members of the Phalanx disguised as the X-Men. Bishop helps finish them off, and Deathbird explains that humans have a specific smell that Shi’ar can detect.

Below in the ship, Gambit and Joseph have been taken captive by the new and improved black Phalanx, in case you couldn’t tell from the cover. Rogue attacks the group, but she is slowly overwhelmed. Just as she is about to be absorbed by the Phalanx, she proclaims her love for Gambit. Gambit is behind her, rescues her, and blows up the remaining Phalanx. While Rogue was being assimilated, she caught a glimpse of Chandilar, homeworld of the Shi’ar; she also learned the Phalanx’s plot, which includes taking over Earth.

Speaking of Earth, Bastion is continuing his preparations for Operation: Zero Tolerance. We see that he has recently captured Jubilee in Generation X #25 and plans on interrogating/torturing her.

Meanwhile, the X-Men plan to get on Chandilar by tricking the Phalanx into attacking their ship and blowing it up while they float to a mining planet in an escape pod among the debris. Deathbird is quite rude to Bishop, threatening his life as he secures her in the pod. After the Phalanx blow up the ship, Joseph navigates the pod through the metal that Beast welded to the alien vehicle. The mining planet turns out to be one of Deathbird’s old bases. Many of the X-Men voice their suspicions about Deathbird’s loyalties as they all get on a transporter to save Chandilar and the Shi’ar.

How It Was: This is a definite step back up storywise, although not quite to the heights of #341. The story does have some great moments; the revelation of the Phalanx as X-Men imposters works rather well, despite the fact that it is ruined on the cover. And I have to say that I genuinely like the Deathbird/Bishop relationship, even if it is only in its beginning stages here. It’s a nice idea to have Bishop find a kindred spirit in a hardened warrior with a harsher code of ethics than the X-Men are used to, just as he was when he started on the team. Rogue’s fight with the Phalanx is also particularly brutal; it’s impressive to see her tearing off limbs and fighting all out, even if her proclamation of love feels a little forced.

Where the issue fails is that in spite of their shiny black makeover, the Phalanx are still as dull as they were the last time they appeared in this title. And after the very first sequence, they abandon any of the shapeshifting subterfuge for the dull assimilation and compensation of powers. Having the villains able to negate mutant powers seems unnecessary since they already outnumber the heroes by quite a bit. It also never made sense how the aliens had the ability to stop powers, but not absorb them.

Joe Mad is drawing some very impressive spaceships, stellar bodies, and space debris. The art is really the highlight, despite the stupid costume designs. Even with the art, this is still just a slow middle chapter with not much for the characters to do. While very cool looking, the villains just aren’t compelling at all, and the threat just doesn’t seem big enough.

C

Uncanny X-Men #342

Uncanny X-Men #342
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down: The X-Men appear in a spaceship after being teleported from New York last issue. Gladiator obviously hasn’t planned this mission very well since the ship the X-Men materialize in is out of control, with questionable life support functions. Poor Beast has to figure out how to make the ship work, and eventually gets it to slow down. But once the ship finally compensates for passengers, the X-Men learn that they are heading right for an asteroid field. The X-Men have to choose between staying the course and reaching the star gate, or going around the asteroids and missing it. Joseph volunteers to move the asteroids with his powers, and oddly Gambit is the only one who backs him up on his choice. The X-Men make it to the gate and decide that they’re needed in Shi’ar space, so they take the ship through.

Back at the mansion, Cannonball tells the rest of the X-Men what happened to the X-Men in space. Wolverine is not very happy about it.

On the ship, Joseph thanks Gambit for supporting him, and Gambit alludes that untrustworthy people need to stick together. Beast tries to apologize to Trish for getting her caught up in this deadly mission, but in the long tradition of comic book reporter girlfriends (Lois Lane, Vicki Vale, April O’Neil, Roxanne Simpson, Melita Garner, etc.), Trish is excited for the opportunity to be along for the adventure, as long as she can get a scoop. Oh, and she manages to find some midriff-revealing space battle armor to wear.

In the mansion, Cyclops is attempting to contact the Shi’ar, but fails. Wolverine suggests following them into space, but Storm cautions that with the anti-mutant climate the way it is, the rest of the X-Men are probably needed on Earth.

Back in space, everybody else finds new space armor costumes. Why? Probably to sell action figures. Bishop is contemplating how out of place he feels. Even though he’s been with the X-Men for a while, he doesn’t really consider them true friends. Rogue gives him a pep talk about how it takes time to find a place with people, but the ship coming out of the stargate interrupts them. They come out in front of a devastated flotilla of war ships from the Shi’ar; the computer explains that they are no life signs on any of the ships, but the X-Men go to investigate anyways.

On one of the ships, Rogue and Beast realize that right now it’s Christmas on Earth. Also, someone stole the power core of the ship. Joseph finds that he can’t use his powers on the alien metals, while Gambit thinks about his own dark secrets. Even though the computer said there were no life signs, Bishop discovers a badly injured Deathbird who begs them to save the Shi’ar.

How It Was: Well, this story sure declined in quality fast. For many X-Men readers, adventures in space tend to frustrate them because it is really getting away from the themes of the book. Now I’m not one of those readers, I think some of the best X-Men stories have involved the Shi’ar and the Imperial Guard, but this isn’t one of them. The issue doesn’t even get off to a great start when the X-Men meet their first in a series of unnatural, completely forced conflicts. Why does Gladiator send the X-Men onto a ship that is about to kill them? I don’t know. Why are they going towards an asteroid field? I don’t know. There is no logic behind any of these events and it really hurts the credibility of the story and takes me completely out of it. Plus it’s just not interesting.

While Lobdell tries to take a quiet moment for his characters to reflect, even these bits feel more forced than usual. Bishop’s view of the X-Men as not his real friends seems pretty forced, especially after all the trouble Beast, Gambit, and Storm have been going to in the various X-Books. Yes, as a time traveler in the distant past, Bishop is entitled to feel out of place, but this really feels like Lobdell is ignoring some developments of the character so it feels more natural when he’s written out of the book in a couple of issues. Beast and Trish’s conversation is about what you’d expect, yet Gambit and Joseph’s relationship feels like it’s getting some complexity since you can’t really tell what Remy’s motivations are.

The new costumes are generic looking and completely unnecessary, but what are you going to do? Joe Mad’s art does provide some pretty amazing looking spaceships to see. But there are plenty of sci-fi comics to see spaceships in (heck, Marvel has its own cosmic line of books that are primarily about traveling through outer space). By itself, this feels like a dragged out episode, which doesn’t have any compelling conflicts to drive the story. Instead of spending an issue getting to the abandoned ships, there’s no real reason the issue couldn’t have started there instead. Very disappointing after the last issue.

D+

Uncanny X-Men #341

Uncanny X-Men #341
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira 

What Went Down: It’s Christmas Eve in New York, and the X-Men are out on the town. Beast invites his teammates to join him for dinner with his girlfriend Trish Tilby, but everyone has other plans: Joseph has a surprise for Rogue, Gambit is trying to avoid Joseph and Rogue, and Bishop just wants to spend a quiet evening alone. Cannonball wants to take up the offer, but he still has to do some last minute Christmas shopping for his siblings.

On his way to the toy store, Sam reflects on the events of the past year, but he is still able to muster some good old-fashioned Christmas cheer. Of course, when he reaches the store, it’s a madhouse and nothing he wants to buy is still available. Luckily for us readers, an alien pops out of a portal in the middle of the store and interrupts Sam’s shopping. The alien just happens to be Gladiator of the Shi’ar Imperial Guard, and he is searching for the X-Men.

At the same time, Joseph uses his powers to lift a horse and carriage through the air to create a romantic atmosphere for Rogue. The carriage driver thanks Joseph for the experience and talks about how he’s figured out that most mutants are decent people. In a little aside, the Marvel Universe version of Marvel editor Bob Harras is working late in the office, but he decides to go home and see his family upon witnessing the floating carriage.

Back in the city, Cannonball and Gladiator get into a fight because Sam assumes Gladiator is attacking him. Cannonball holds his own fairly well against an opponent that is supposed to be invincible.

On top of the World Trade Center (yes, this is pre-9/11), Joseph has moved the Z’nox chamber to the roof and modified it to block Rogue’s powers. Rogue is hesitant, but Joseph is able to use the machine and give her a kiss on the forehead.

Back at the fight, Gladiator prepares to throw Cannonball into the sun. Cannonball is able to use his blast shield to absorb the force of Gladiator’s attack. Then, right when Gladiator sees that Sam is fine and begins to doubt himself, Sam is able to knock him out. The other X-Men show up after seeing the fight from far away, and Gladiator begs for their help in rescuing the Shi’ar Empire after being forbidden to interfere by Lilandra. Gladiator uses some devices to teleport all the X-Men and Trish Tilby (but minus Cannonball) to a waiting space ship. Gladiator claims he can’t send Sam because it wouldn’t be honorable to send a youth into battle, and hopes the X-Men succeed for the sake of the universe.

How It Was: This issue feature one of my least favorite genre conventions in it: the fight between two characters with common interests who can’t find the time to stop and talk about the situation. Plus it’s a holiday issue, so there is a good chance that this could’ve turned out hokey. But Lobdell manages to squeeze out some really great moments to make this rise above the mediocrity that has been plaguing recent issues of the series.

First off, I have to say that this is the coolest Sam Guthrie has been since leaving X-Force. After disappearing for no reason in the middle of Onslaught, then being assigned to watch Graydon Creed only to do nothing as the candidate was assassinated, Cannonball has not had a lot to do recently. And even before that he was being portrayed as a bumbling novice who was overly intimidated by the X-Men. Here Cannonball gets to shine by taking on an adversary with the powers of Superman, and it is just great. Sure the motivating factors behind the fight are lacking since Gladiator really should’ve just explained his purpose instead of wasting his time trying to kill the person he needs help from. But it’s an impressive fight, and even though it has no purpose as far as the story is concerned, it does succeed in reminding readers of how cool Cannonball can be.

The other standout moments revolve around Rogue and Joseph. The visual of the carriage floating through the city over skyscrapers is pretty stunning in it of itself, although I could do with out the driver’s drawn out explanation about his principles. The part that works perfectly is of course, the kiss. Lobdell has always excelled in the area of characterization and relationships, and here he shows that he understands what romance truly is. Instead of going for the clichéd, over-the-top makeout scene that most creators would have gone for in the nineties, Lobdell has Joseph give Rogue a subtle kiss on the forehead. It’s an elegant, tender moment that demonstrates how to make people care about a relationship; it’s not about sex, it’s about compassion and gentleness, and Joe Mad renders Rogue’s reaction pitch perfect. It’s a genuinely great emotional moment, and probably the highlight of Joseph’s stint as an X-Man.

In fact, Madureira is firing on all cylinders with this issue, which is odd since it’s mostly a quiet, contemplative issue. From the skyline of New York, to the ice skater in the background of a snowy central park, Madureira just makes the issue feel like Christmas and captures the beauty and electricity of winter in the city. Even his scene in the toy store manages to capture the right tone while containing a wealth of movement and chaos.

The issue does have its head slapping moments. It is really contrived that Gladiator would just happen to show up in the toy store that Cannonball was shopping in, but I can let that one go. The real head-smacker occurs at the end, after Cannonball has wiped the floor with the invulnerable Gladiator, and then Gladiator sends all the X-Men against their will into space except for the guy that just beat. He makes up some dumb excuse about it being dishonorable to send a youth into battle, but the idiot Gladiator just sent the powerless Trish Tilby up with the X-Men to go on his suicide mission. It really makes absolutely no sense whatsoever after a whole issue building Sam up.

Still, this is the best Uncanny is going to be for a long while. Even though I’ve said it a million times before, I’ll say it again. This is where Lobdell’s strengths lie—in these quiet, contemplative issues that take the time to explore the heads of a couple of characters to see where they are at emotionally. It’s a lot of fun and actually handles emotion well without feeling corny or heavy-handed. This one is definitely worth a look, especially for Rogue and Cannonball fans.

A

Cable #42

Cable #42
Writing: Todd Dezago
Art: Randy Green

What Went Down: In the Swiss Alps, a monk is visited by a projection of Sanctity, member of the Askani from the future. She tells him that he must ready the Askani’son, Cable. He must be prepared to either accept his role or be annihilated.

As for the main story, Cable is in the middle of a mosh pit for the first time in his life. He and Storm are undercover at a Lila Cheney concert—on the lookout for Callisto, who is planning to attack the event. Cable is perplexed by the ritual of moshing and worries about Storm’s claustrophobia in such a tight, dark place. Storm explains she is determined to fulfill her responsibility to the Morlocks when Calisto and Marrow appear.

Storm is surprised to see Marrow alive, since Storm ripped her heart out of her chest back in Uncanny #325, but such is the way of comics. Cable fights the Morlocks while the crowd panics. Storm is crushed against the crowd and starts to lose control, unleashing lightning outside. One of Lila’s disguised alien bodyguards grabs Cable, mistaking him for a troublemaker. Calisto and Marrow escape, and all the while Lila just keeps singing.

Storm and Cable leave out the back and go flying to catch their breaths; they discuss how the mutant Thornn tipped them off to Calisto’s activities. Meanwhile, Calisto and Marrow regroup outside as well. Calisto insists that she be the one to kill Storm and tells Marrow to give the people inside a warning before triggering the explosives they planted. She also explains how Marrow was able to survive Storm’s attack in Uncanny #325; it turns out that Marrow was born with two hearts. Of course, that makes perfect sense!

Outside on the roof of the club, Storm apologizes to Cable for freaking out. A guy trying to get into the concert is scared away by another of the alien guards as Cable reenters the club. On the roof, Calisto confronts Storm, calling her naive when the humans are preparing genocide for mutants. Storm counters that terrorism is for the weak and cowardly.

Back in the concert, Cable runs into Thornn, who came to help stop Calisto and Marrow. Marrow attacks Cable from behind. While Storm fights Calisto, she questions the Morlock about the location of the bomb. Inside, Cable gets in a knife fight with Marrow and tries to offer her a place where she’ll be accepted. Marrow rejects it and tells him that the explosives are rigged to blow when Lila hits a high note at the end of her song; she doesn’t know that Cable is a telepath and able to contact Lila mentally and tell her not to sing the note.

When there is no explosion, Storm announces that the heroes have won, but Calisto explains that the bomb will still go off ten seconds after the music stops. Storm warns Cable telepathically and Thornn locates the bomb. Cable throws it to Lila, who uses her teleportation powers to get rid of it. Afterwards, Cable worries back stage about how close they are to genetic war; since Cable is from the future, he remembers that important events are about to take place now from his history.

How It Was: This is a random one-off in Cable that actually sets up a lot of events in the X-Men books to come, so it’s worth taking a look at. This simple story has a lot of holes in its plot, starting with the antagonists themselves. Calisto and Marrow are back as the main villains, which is incredibly surprising considering last time we saw them, one of them was trying to help stop the murdering of innocent humans and the other had her heart ripped out. Even after coming up with a lazy reason for Marrow to not be dead, their evil scheme still doesn’t make any sense. Why would Calisto tell Marrow to warn the people before the bomb goes off? Doesn’t that defeat the whole purpose? And if the bomb was set to go off after the music stops, wouldn’t warning the crowd be a bad idea?

Then again, maybe it wouldn’t matter if Marrow warned the crowd or not, since this appears to be a very stupid crowd. Cable and the Morlocks supposedly cause a near riot with their fight, but later there are plenty of people still at the concert. Are they that oblivious? Shouldn’t they be running for their lives instead of standing around while two mutants have a kung fu knife fight? The plot itself feels very stock; I’m pretty sure I’ve seen the bomb set off by a certain note in a number of cartoons like Inspector Gadget over the years. Ignoring the silliness of it, the way it plays out still doesn’t make a lot of sense.

So what does work? Well the prologue is pretty interesting with its cryptic foreshadowing of Nathan’s future role in the war against Apocalypse. That is until you learn that Nate’s role is actually nonexistent in that “final battle,” but don’t worry, that isn’t for years to come.

Also, Storm and Cable both work well together; the X-offices had been vaguely hinting at a romance between the two for a while, and it actually seems like it might work here. Storm does come off as a little weak and dumb by putting herself in such a situation in the first place, but her guilt over the Morlocks is a convincing enough motivation for her presence. Cable’s not exactly a standout solo hero; while he’s obviously tough, there’s just nothing to really set him apart, like a sense of humor or unique powers. Then again, he does have some fun moments in the mosh pit, and the writer seems to be slowly building up his significance as a time traveler/savior.

The art is decent, especially when it comes to the design of the alien bodyguard or the action and lighting of the mosh pit. The action isn’t anything to write home about, and the plot is a little incoherent, but it does do an average job of setting up the X-Men’s struggle to keep human relations from devolving any further.

C

X-Men '97 Annual

X-Men ’97 Annual
Writing: John Francis Moore
Art: Steve Epting

What Went Down: We open on Iceman and Joseph as they are chased by a mob of humans. They desperately try to make it to their car, but the mob catches up to them. In a surprise twist, the mob doesn’t consist of angry anti-mutant bigots; instead, it’s a group of teenage girls obsessed with getting Bobby Drake’s autograph. Joseph is confused by this.

At the mansion, Gambit and Rogue are shown cooking gumbo and kissing each other; for some reason Rogue’s absorption powers are in control. Joseph can’t help but feel that something isn’t quite right. Other events that are too good to be true: Cannonball watches a news story about the government shutting down Bastion, the world doesn’t’ hate mutants, Cyclops can walk around without his visor, Beast discovers the cure for the Legacy Virus, and Wolverine is calm and at peace. When Joseph walks away from him, Logan demonstrates that he is trying to fight some sort of mind control.

As Joseph observes some photos in the mansion, he notices that Jean Grey’s existence has been erased from them. Even stranger, none of the X-Men remember Jean Grey at all. Joseph flies away when the team threatens to “help” him, but Gambit and Rogue catch up and try to understand what is going on. Using Cerebro, they discover a mutant that fits the description of Jean in a store in Salem Center.

On the astral plane, Jean is imprisoned in a fake bedroom. At the ‘Bullseye’ store (a parody of Target), Gambit, Rogue, and Joseph are assaulted by the employees. After subduing the sales associates, they find Jean hooked up to a machine in the back. Gambit and Rogue vaguely remember her.

Rogue is knocked unconscious by a mental attack from the manager, who turns out to be the Gamemaster. We also see a flashback of Jean Grey being pricked with a sedative in a grocery store so she could be abducted. Gamemaster explains that he is an omnipath, and the only way for him to stay sane and focused while being exposed to the world’s thoughts and feelings is for him to play these manipulative games. He mentions the abortive Upstarts storyline, and explains that he was curious to see what would come of the X-Men if they were given everything they ever wanted.

Gamemaster offers Joseph the opportunity to make the changes permanent by sacrificing Jean Grey. When Joseph refuses, Gamemaster offers him the same deal if he will sacrifice Gambit. Joseph appears to kill Gambit, but really he is faking so he can free Jean. Jean attacks Gamemaster and almost learns his identity, but the villain gets away. Jean catches a glimpse of where he might live, but when the X-Men go to the house, it is obvious that the villain isn’t there. The TV is on, and the report describes a hospital firebombing that occurred once the Gamemaster stopped influencing the town. Rogue tries to cheer everybody up by explaining how all of them are trying to be better people.

How It Was: Somewhat of a surprise, this issue. Namely the surprise is in how good it actually is. Moore has a lot of fun with the status quo of the time, which was depressing, depressing, and more depressing. Amidst all the Onslaughts and political assassinations and self-doubting mutants, it is so nice to see the X-Men gain some happiness, even if it’s only a temporary, fake happiness. All of the twists Moore picks out, from the Legacy cure to Cyclops’ eyes, are nice little nods to the wealth of ever-present obstacles to the X-Men that never get furthered at all. Of course the end winds up being even more of a downer, but the journey is still a good one. It’s great to see Joseph get to be the focus, even if it’s only because of the plot convenient notion that Gamemaster’s powers can’t work on Magneto. After having nothing to do with the resolution of the Onslaught storyline, Joseph really hasn’t had an opportunity to prove himself as a hero up to this point, and I dare say this is the best standout moment he ever gets before disappearing off the face of the Marvel Universe in a year or two.

More impressive is the job Moore does with rehabilitating the Gamemaster’s character, especially in so few panels. Instead of the generically evil for the sake of evil arbitrator he was during the entire Upstarts story, I like this take on him as someone who is trying to distract himself from being overwhelmed by the breadth of human emotion around him. Moore also seems to be going for this idea that Gamemaster has completely lost his empathy and objectivity because of his powers, which is a far more compelling take on the villain as opposed to an evil, powerful guy who is just really, really bored all the time. Unfortunately he disappears from the X-Men books after this annual, never to be seen in the main books again.

The issue is a little long, and the fight with the employees at Target feels superfluous, but all-in-all the story works really well. At its core it is a simple story about whether the ends justify the means, filtered through a well constructed X-Men character piece. This is a shining bright spot in the middle of late 90’s era X-Men. We finally get a story that deals with the core themes of the book, develops some of the characters and their relationships, and only has one loose end that is never followed up on again (which feels like some kind of record for this period). If you’re going to bother reading X-Men comics in 1997, you might as well seek this one out since it’s better than the vast majority.

B+