X-Men #79

X-Men #79
Writing: Joe Kelly

Art: Germain Garica

What Went Down:  The issue opens on Officers Aguinal and Cleveland, who you might remember as the police officers Marrow beat up in X-Men #68, if you’re a fan of inconsequential background characters from comics.  The narration establishes that these two cops have had a string of bad luck since their run in with Marrow. 

Speaking of Marrow, she’s busy on the street terrorizing a young couple for calling her a freak.  After leaving the couple, we learn that Marrow is in a particularly foul mood.  Pursuing the young mutant is Storm and a healthy Callisto.  Both women are worried what Marrow might do since she is so angry.  We get a flashback of Marrow arguing with Storm.  Callisto interrupts to tell Marrow that she needs the young Morlock to stay with the X-Men.  Callisto tells Storm that she wants Marrow to have a shot at life.  Storm notes that Callisto makes a cryptic reference to her own safety, but Callisto ignores her.

Down in the Morlock tunnels, a shadowy figure is going to Callisto’s room to give her an injection.  Of course Callisto isn’t there, so this causes the figure to become angry, worrying about the effects on his agenda.  Marrow is off sulking in Battery Park over everybody leaving her.  Cannonball shows up to bring Marrow home.  Marrow is elated that he cares, but proceeds to attack him anyway.  Meanwhile the cops interview the attacked couple, and they both realize that the girl being described is Marrow.

At the mansion, Beast and Maggot are discussing Marrow’s disappearance.  Cecilia bursts in and yells at Maggot because his slugs have eaten her medical books and underpants.  While they fight, Beast wonders if there might be a better place for Maggott to develop his powers.  Above Manhattan, Storm and Callisto debate where Marrow belongs and whether someone can be helped if they don’t want it.  Callisto brings up how Storm tore out one of Marrow’s hearts, which angers the X-Man. 

Cannonball loses track of Marrow, so he pulls out a letter from his brother Josh to reread.  The letter says that Sam’s mother is very sick, and Sam needs to come home.  Marrow attacks Cannonball because she is angry that he is leaving, and the two fight for a bit.  Cannonball explains to Marrow that she isn’t the only one to suffer loss, and the two police officers show up to arrest Marrow.

Maggott chastises his slugs for eating Cecilia’s books and not destroying the evidence.  Beast comes in and suggests to Maggott that he might learn to control his slugs if he were to join Generation X in Massachusetts.

Marrow attacks Officer Cleveland, and Cannonball tries to explain that the cops are just doing their jobs.  Marrow remembers her own anger when she heard Sam on the phone describing how he was leaving.  She asks the officers if they’ve lost anything, and they describe their bad luck and the fear and uncertainty that has gripped them ever since being injured by Marrow. 

Storm and Callisto show up, and Marrow realizes she doesn’t want to be a monster.  Callisto shares a final moment with Marrow before leaving, and Storm vows to be Marrow’s teacher and ally.  Cannonball offers to take Marrow home, and the X-Men fly off.  The two cops decide to return to their old beat, realizing that the monsters aren’t so bad, and we catch a glimpse of the mysterious shadow figure.  He is excited that Marrow has been left alone with the X-Men.

How It Was:  This is the conclusion to Marrow’s drastic redemptive character arc, and although it’s pretty overt and on the nose, it’s still pretty good.  Yes the lesson that actions have consequences and everyone suffers loss seem obvious, but looking at a young girl raised away from civilization, deprived of things we take for granted, it’s just about believable.

Kelly’s dialogue and character interactions are phenomenal.  From Callisto and Storm’s debate that shows their distaste and mutual respect perfectly to Marrow’s naive teenage perceptions of unfairness in the world, every word feels just right.  I love how Storm is meant to confront the perceptions she has of herself in light of the way Marrow fits into her life.  Still, my favorite moment is Maggott yelling at his slugs, and then forcing them to finish off the doctor’s books. 

The inclusion of the two cops from issue #68 seems pretty random and unnecessary, since Marrow has Cannonball to juxtapose her life against and the couple on the street to feel remorseful about, but I guess it does bring closure in a weird way to her first “heroic” act in an X-Men comic.  It’s unclear whether Cleveland and Ag were injured by Marrow, or randomly injured in Operation Zero Tolerance in their flashbacks; obviously it doesn’t matter since Kelly is just laying it on thick for Marrow to learn her lesson.  I can’t really stand these whiny cop characters, but they’re tolerable for one issue.

This issue is notorious for hanging plot threads.  The mysterious creature experimenting on Callisto never gets resolved to my knowledge, just forgotten.  My understanding from interviews is that it was meant to be Dark Beast, in case you’re curious.  Also, it’s clear that Kelly intended for Maggott to join Generation X, but the character only makes a guest appearance in an issue or two before fading into Marvel character limbo. 

This issue is light on action, but heavy on solid characterization.  It’s a shame that this is the last we see of Cecilia and Maggott on the team since there was so much potential left unexplored with those two.  And I personally thought Maggott was really funny.  Still, I think Kelly is to be commended for creating a believable redemption for Marrow, goofy cop characters not withstanding.

B+

X-Men #74

X-Men #74
Writing: Joe Kelly

Art: Carlos Pacheco

What Went Down:  Marrow is in the Morlock tunnels with a suffering Calisto, praying for Calisto to be saved.  We see that she is praying to a handmade doll of Archangel, calling him the one who was reborn. Coincidentally, Archangel is flying high over New York, enjoying the feeling of flying with his organic wings.  He has decided that he must confront his personal demons, which involves revisiting the Morlock tunnels…the place where he first lost his natural wings.

At Harry’s Hideaway, Wolverine is talking to the proprietor and reading the paper about the mysterious murders and mutilations in the city.  At the mansion, Beast and Cecilia are testing Maggott’s powers while he hams it up.  Maggott throws a snowball at Cecilia, causing Beast to laugh, so Cecilia tackles Beast.  Maggott notices that Eany and Meany, his slugs, have disappeared. 

Down in the sewers, Marrow goes off for fresh water while Archangel relives his memories of the Morlock Massacre.  He crashes in the sewer, and he is confronted by the Abomination.  Marrow observes this from far away.

Wolverine examines a crime scene, using fake credentials to gain access.  Below, Archangel knows he is outmatched by Abomination, so he tries to get away.  Marrow realizes he is going the wrong way, and runs off to help him.  In her weakened state, someone approaches Calisto with a needle.  Calisto hallucinates that it is Colossus, who she used to share a relationship with; the stranger notes it is strange that she sees Colossus, but plays along.

Marrow confronts Abomination to try to buy Archangel time to escape.  Warren feels ashamed that a young girl is coming to his rescue, so he makes a stand to save Marrow.  Back at Xavier’s, Maggott finds his slugs, but finds evidence that they may’ve murdered someone.

Abomination tries to disillusion Marrow by showing Warren how ugly she is.  Abomination lashes out and tries to explain that they will never be appreciated by the surface world.  Marrow digs out some knives and throws them at Abomination’s eyes. 

Wolverine is running back to the mansion after smelling Maggott’s slugs at the crime scene.  Suddenly, he is attacked from behind.  Abomination pulls out the knives and debates with Archangel whether Marrow can ever be accepted on the surface.  Abomination walks off, warning Marrow that she’ll be back.  Marrow reveals her real name of Sarah to Warren, and Warren says he’ll put in a good word for her to the X-Men.  Archangel notices that her knives are old flechettes from when he had metal wings, but Marrow disappears before he can question her.  Maggott finds Wolverine in the snow covered in blood and thinks that his slugs are responsible.

How It Was:  This is a bit of a random one, with a ton of coincidences driving it, but it’s actually a fun little shot of Warren and Sarah’s personalities.  This is one of the better stories to feature Archangel; he hasn’t had much to do in any X-Men stories in a while.  Kelly wisely ejects the horrible idea that Warren thinks his life is super difficult, instead choosing to focus on his more traumatic and sympathetic experiences.  Whether intentional or not, this serves as an excellent revisit of the previous Morlock story with Archangel, where he froze up and cried for the whole story.  Kelly sets this up as something that Warren has to do in response to all of the changes that have occurred in his life; he hasn’t really had to time to process anything, and he has to show himself that he can take charge of his own destiny.

As for Marrow, this is a strange turn to have her crush on/worship Archangel, but Kelly wisely focuses mostly on the power of the imagery.  The idea that as a child Marrow wanted something to believe in is a solid direction that isn’t really exploited enough here; Marrow comes off as a little out-of-character after having rejected so much from the material world.  It’s a shame that the story chooses to ignore Marrow’s past life as a terrorist because I think that might make for a more interesting conflict.  Still, it’s nice to see that the writers are actually doing something with her and not letting her fade to the background.

As for the plot, it’s quite odd that Marrow wouldn’t seek help from the X-Men if Calisto was actually dying.  Also, I’m unfamiliar with the Abomination having anything to do with the Morlocks before this, so his appearance seems out of the ordinary.  Kelly has clearly set up the themes of darkness and redemption, but in dealing with both characters’ histories, it’s strange that they’d confront an antagonist that has so little to do with both of them.  Plus his motivations are a little off.  First he wants to kill both of them, and then it becomes a debate over whether Marrow can be accepted on the surface. Yes the angel and devil parallels are not lost on me, yet it feels a little over done.  I think this might’ve worked better if Marrow had just attacked Archangel for trespassing, with the two eventually coming to an understanding over their dark histories and mutual respect.  The stuff with Marrow’s hero worship and the Abomination doesn’t quite fit.

As for the subplot with Calisto, this gets forgotten after X-Men #79, so don’t get your hopes up.  It was supposed to lead into a story about the Dark Beast and his connections to the Morlocks, which might’ve been interesting, but we’ll never know.

The art is pretty fantastic; Pacheco brings his A game and does a great job contrasting the bright snow-filled sky with the dark, oppressive sewers.  In a story where so much of it is dependent on atmosphere, Pacheco sells us on the quiet desperation of Marrow taking care of Calisto, or the internal struggle between Archangel and his memories. The only flaw, although it’s a pretty big one, is the final page.  It’s supposed to be a big reveal that Maggott’s slugs have potentially mutilated Wolverine, but due to the Comics Code, we only get Wolverine with a scar on his chest screaming.  It doesn’t really convey the horror that Maggott is feeling; it looks more like Maggott walked in on him in his underwear.

This is probably the best Archangel story of the nineties, which isn’t saying a lot, but still it’s pretty good.  I question the structure of the story, but I really like where it takes the characters, and I like the overwhelming odds, even though the threat just sort of peters out and walks away.  It’s still worth a look.

 B-

Uncanny X-Men #347

Uncanny X-Men #347

Writing: Scott Lobdell

Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down:  On a weird alien planet, Gambit gets a rude surprise by being whacked in the face with a giant lizard tail.  He is being attacked by Grovel—a giant shape-shifting lizard thing, and his partner Spat—a woman who is cursed to age in reverse after taking a mystic blast for Gambit.  Both of them are bounty hunters, and both have been assigned to bring Gambit in for his mysterious crimes that are yet to be revealed.  Gambit then helpfully recaps the previous events in this story because it’s been two friggin’ months since it progressed at all. 

In a weird sequence that looks like they’re coming through a portal, Beast and Trish Tilby crash land on the planet in a broken section of the ship.  They wonder where the X-Men are, but are interrupted by Beast feeling sick and slumping over.

In the sewers of Manhattan, Marrow is trying not to cry while she sits with the injured Calisto, who is bandaged with leaves for some odd reason.  Calisto tells Sarah that she needs more in her life than rage, and asks her to remember when she was younger and had hope; she recalls seeing Angel stuck to a wall during the Morlock Massacre.  Calisto asks Marrow to help the X-Men because they will be needed to save all mutants.  Marrow agrees, but she can’t promise she won’t kill anyone.

Back on the alien planet, Joseph and Rogue wake up next to each other.  Rogue tries to fly up in the air, but hits something solid and assumes it is a forcefield.  Joseph uses his powers and reveals that the alien world is an illusion and that they are really inside a cave.  Joseph discovers the cause of these illusions—a mutant named Landscape with the power to make people see landscapes…no really.

Gambit laughs at his captors and asks if the world was Landscape’s work.  Gambit tries to charm Spat, but she has been previously hurt by him, and brings up that Gambit’s mistakes have cost others their lives.

In South Carolina, at the town where Rogue met Joseph, the mutant named Maggott is continuing his search for Joseph.  Some rednecks confront him because they don’t appreciate strangers asking about mutants.  Maggott’s pet slugs eat one of the bully’s trucks, and this scares them all away.

At the cave, Rogue is carrying Landscape, and he won’t stop whining.  They run into Gambit and his captors.  Just as Gambit frees himself, the heroes are confronted by Nanny—the former robot servant of Magneto, and an army of cybernetically augmented animals—including bats, gorillas, and what looks like maybe an octopus?

How It Was:  Well after two months away, we return to the X-Men lost in space.  This story is obviously setting up the X-Men learning about Gambit’s mystery relationship with Mr. Sinister which has been hinted at for about two or three years now.  That’s a perfectly acceptable direction to go.  Unfortunately we can’t get to that right away.  Instead we have to deal with a bunch of boring, and frankly out of place, characters from Gambit’s history, as well as the “exciting” return of Nanny.  Plus the X-Men are separated, so we know it’s going to be a couple of issues before they can reunite and further the plot some more. 

I can’t say enough how uninterested I am in Spat, Grovel, and Landscape.  It seems like a major misstep to take a story that is supposed to emphasize Gambit’s tragic and very serious past, and create these absurd, cartoony characters to put in this story leading up to it.  I have no idea what a little girl with a spear and a weird lizard thing are doing in this story.  And while we’re on it, Grovel looks nothing like the reflection of the zebra thing that Madureira drew in the water last issue.  It’s obvious that this story has been thrown together rather quickly.

That’s about it.  There’s no real characterization other than for Gambit, which is kind of interesting.  I like how he goes back and forth between crippling guilt and wanting to forgive himself, between putting his past behind him and facing consequences for his actions.  It’s a really good arc for a tortured character like Gambit, but of course this is also less effective since most of this soul searching is taking place with Spat and Grovel in the background.  Maggott’s also still wandering around, which would be interesting if it went anywhere, but it doesn’t; Maggott doesn’t really get interesting until Joe Kelly starts to write him, so right now he’s still just a generic mystery figure.  Outside of that, nothing’s really going on, and the two-issue wait definitely hasn’t helped the pace.  Even the illusion of the world they’re on, which the narration describes as very alien, looks like a normal jungle that might be the setting for any super hero story.  I am quite ready for these X-Men to get out of those costumes and back to some actual X-Men stories.

D+

Uncanny X-Men #346

Uncanny X-Men #346

Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down: J. Jonah Jameson starts this story mid-rant about how the staff of the Bugle needs to work harder at uncovering the shady government dealings involved with Bastion and Operation Zero Tolerance.  Due to the lack of evidence presented on the government’s part, and the disappearance of reporter Nick Bandouveris in Uncanny #339, Jameson is set on nailing Bastion. 

The book jumps to Peter Parker, aka the Amazing Spider-Man, climbing a wall and worrying about whether the government will ever decide to hunt him down.  He happens upon the car of Henry Peter Gyrich, snaps some photos of the government official, and decides to follow him.  A shockwave destroys the road, and as Gyrich is pulled from his car, his bodyguards encounter Marrow and Calisto of the Morlocks.

In an interlude that contains an actual X-Man, Gambit is seen drinking from a pond and wondering aloud what happened to the rest of the X-Men after their spaceship crashed.  In the water’s reflection, Gambit sees what looks like a giant zebra staring back at him.

Back at the Bugle, Jameson is trying to get an official to comment on how Bastion rose to such a high position so quickly.  Bastion enters the office, offering Jameson a disk with the identities and operations of the X-Men on it, saying it will prove the necessity of his cause. 

Meanwhile, Calisto and Marrow are attacking Gyrich in response to OZT, and Spider-Man jumps in to save him.  Spider-Man stops Marrow from murdering Gyrich.  At the same time, Gyrich’s bodyguards transform into Prime Sentinels and shoot at Spidey and Marrow.  It’s briefly mentioned that these were the same guards assigned to Graydon Creed, but don’t worry because nothing ever comes of this.  Calisto jumps in between them, injuring herself in the process.  Over at the Bugle, Bastion continues to tempt Jameson with the story of a lifetime in exchange for backing off on OZT.

Spider-Man fights the Sentinels, all the time trying to make Marrow see why killing doesn’t solve anything.  The two are rescued by Gyrich and some policemen who shoot the Sentinels until they are subdued.  Marrow tries to kill Gyrich again, and Spidey stops her…again. Jameson burns up Bastion’s disk and tells him that he will be exposed.  Spidey tells Marrow to figure out what she has before she loses it all, and then lets her escape with the injured Calisto.  Gyrich tries to stop them, but Spidey tells him that Marrow learned something and deserves a second chance.

How It Was:  If you thought Flashback Month was weird, here we have an X-Men issue with no X-Men, starring Spider-Man and J. Jonah Jameson.  It’s such an odd choice since the regular cast of Uncanny is in space away from the events of the crossover, not to mention this is a Spider-Man story in an X-Men book.  It’s obvious that Lobdell is trying to wrap up the Jameson subplot that he started during the Graydon Creed election.  You know, the one he built up for a couple of issues before editorial decided to kill Creed off in an issue of X-Factor, leaving absolutely no payoff for all the X-Men issues spent focusing on it.  On top of that, Lobdell has the unenviable task of beginning to turn the character of Marrow, an unremorseful murderer, into a potential X-Man.

Despite the randomness of this issue, it has some strengths.  Seeing Madureira draw Spider-Man is a pleasure in it of itself; the character seems almost created for his cartoony kinetic art style.  Some of the interactions with Marrow and Spider-Man are really well-handled.  There’s a great reverse of expectations where Spider-Man pours his heart out about the tragedy that inspired him to become a hero, trying to reach her, and Marrow, whose life has been a thousand times more difficult than anything Parker has lived through, acts completely jaded and unsympathetic.  Having Marrow as a world-weary cynic is a neat angle, and one that is taken advantage of in her initial appearances as a reformed hero, but unfortunately dropped soon after. 

As for the rest, it’s not particularly gripping.  I’m still not really sure what Gyrich’s role is in OZT, what Calisto’s goal was (Marrow’s was obviously to kill some humans), or how the two mutants destroyed an entire street.  It’s disappointing to see the Sentinels dropped with gunfire after previously taking out half the X-Men.  I do like the idea that Gyrich’s bodyguards were the one’s guarding Creed when he died, but nothing ever comes of this, so it’s best to just ignore it.  And as bad as Calisto’s wounds are made out to be, she spends a lot of issues lying in a sewer without dying, so they can’t be too bad.

Jameson takes up the other half of this issue, and while I enjoy the idea of his arc, its execution comes down to nothing but a ton of dialogue.  I really like that in spite of the government finally cracking down on vigilantes (Jameson’s dream) he still takes the time to realize that the way in which it is being done is unconstitutional. It would probably ring a little truer if Jameson hadn’t lied about or tried to hunt down Spider-Man so many times.  As for the end, Jameson already told Bastion off in X-Men #57, so seeing him do it again isn’t a very satisfying conclusion to his storyline.

While it’s normal for characters to guest star in other heroes’ books, it’s just so strange to see one take over another book entirely, especially during a crossover that should be focusing on the eponymous heroes.  This actually has some moments that are going to be important down the line regarding Marrow, but a lot of this feels forced, unnecessary, and out of nowhere.  There is a lot of preaching going on here by both Jameson and Spider-Man in this issue, and a lot of it just feels redundant.

B-

Cable #42

Cable #42
Writing: Todd Dezago
Art: Randy Green

What Went Down: In the Swiss Alps, a monk is visited by a projection of Sanctity, member of the Askani from the future. She tells him that he must ready the Askani’son, Cable. He must be prepared to either accept his role or be annihilated.

As for the main story, Cable is in the middle of a mosh pit for the first time in his life. He and Storm are undercover at a Lila Cheney concert—on the lookout for Callisto, who is planning to attack the event. Cable is perplexed by the ritual of moshing and worries about Storm’s claustrophobia in such a tight, dark place. Storm explains she is determined to fulfill her responsibility to the Morlocks when Calisto and Marrow appear.

Storm is surprised to see Marrow alive, since Storm ripped her heart out of her chest back in Uncanny #325, but such is the way of comics. Cable fights the Morlocks while the crowd panics. Storm is crushed against the crowd and starts to lose control, unleashing lightning outside. One of Lila’s disguised alien bodyguards grabs Cable, mistaking him for a troublemaker. Calisto and Marrow escape, and all the while Lila just keeps singing.

Storm and Cable leave out the back and go flying to catch their breaths; they discuss how the mutant Thornn tipped them off to Calisto’s activities. Meanwhile, Calisto and Marrow regroup outside as well. Calisto insists that she be the one to kill Storm and tells Marrow to give the people inside a warning before triggering the explosives they planted. She also explains how Marrow was able to survive Storm’s attack in Uncanny #325; it turns out that Marrow was born with two hearts. Of course, that makes perfect sense!

Outside on the roof of the club, Storm apologizes to Cable for freaking out. A guy trying to get into the concert is scared away by another of the alien guards as Cable reenters the club. On the roof, Calisto confronts Storm, calling her naive when the humans are preparing genocide for mutants. Storm counters that terrorism is for the weak and cowardly.

Back in the concert, Cable runs into Thornn, who came to help stop Calisto and Marrow. Marrow attacks Cable from behind. While Storm fights Calisto, she questions the Morlock about the location of the bomb. Inside, Cable gets in a knife fight with Marrow and tries to offer her a place where she’ll be accepted. Marrow rejects it and tells him that the explosives are rigged to blow when Lila hits a high note at the end of her song; she doesn’t know that Cable is a telepath and able to contact Lila mentally and tell her not to sing the note.

When there is no explosion, Storm announces that the heroes have won, but Calisto explains that the bomb will still go off ten seconds after the music stops. Storm warns Cable telepathically and Thornn locates the bomb. Cable throws it to Lila, who uses her teleportation powers to get rid of it. Afterwards, Cable worries back stage about how close they are to genetic war; since Cable is from the future, he remembers that important events are about to take place now from his history.

How It Was: This is a random one-off in Cable that actually sets up a lot of events in the X-Men books to come, so it’s worth taking a look at. This simple story has a lot of holes in its plot, starting with the antagonists themselves. Calisto and Marrow are back as the main villains, which is incredibly surprising considering last time we saw them, one of them was trying to help stop the murdering of innocent humans and the other had her heart ripped out. Even after coming up with a lazy reason for Marrow to not be dead, their evil scheme still doesn’t make any sense. Why would Calisto tell Marrow to warn the people before the bomb goes off? Doesn’t that defeat the whole purpose? And if the bomb was set to go off after the music stops, wouldn’t warning the crowd be a bad idea?

Then again, maybe it wouldn’t matter if Marrow warned the crowd or not, since this appears to be a very stupid crowd. Cable and the Morlocks supposedly cause a near riot with their fight, but later there are plenty of people still at the concert. Are they that oblivious? Shouldn’t they be running for their lives instead of standing around while two mutants have a kung fu knife fight? The plot itself feels very stock; I’m pretty sure I’ve seen the bomb set off by a certain note in a number of cartoons like Inspector Gadget over the years. Ignoring the silliness of it, the way it plays out still doesn’t make a lot of sense.

So what does work? Well the prologue is pretty interesting with its cryptic foreshadowing of Nathan’s future role in the war against Apocalypse. That is until you learn that Nate’s role is actually nonexistent in that “final battle,” but don’t worry, that isn’t for years to come.

Also, Storm and Cable both work well together; the X-offices had been vaguely hinting at a romance between the two for a while, and it actually seems like it might work here. Storm does come off as a little weak and dumb by putting herself in such a situation in the first place, but her guilt over the Morlocks is a convincing enough motivation for her presence. Cable’s not exactly a standout solo hero; while he’s obviously tough, there’s just nothing to really set him apart, like a sense of humor or unique powers. Then again, he does have some fun moments in the mosh pit, and the writer seems to be slowly building up his significance as a time traveler/savior.

The art is decent, especially when it comes to the design of the alien bodyguard or the action and lighting of the mosh pit. The action isn’t anything to write home about, and the plot is a little incoherent, but it does do an average job of setting up the X-Men’s struggle to keep human relations from devolving any further.

C

Uncanny X-Men #325

Uncanny X-Men #325
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down: The X-Men are spending the day playing baseball with the cast of Generation X. Bishop steals a base, and it ends with a bunch of mutants tangled up in Skin’s skin while everyone else laughs. Wolverine shows up to mention how nice it is to see Storm smile. A portal appears on the baseball diamond, and Colossus comes through it, holding an unconscious Callisto, asking for help.

In New York, members of Gene Nation have stopped a subway full of people to use as hostages. Back at the mansion, Colossus fills in the rest of the X-Men. For some reason, Callisto passed out after she told Peter what needed to be done. A bunch of renegade Morlocks calling themselves Gene Nation are preparing to kill a lot of humans for the anniversary of the Morlock Massacre. Callisto accuses Storm of not taking her role as Morlock leader seriously enough, even though last time we saw her, Callisto had renounced her leadership so she could be pretty and have a normal life on the surface world.

Callisto uses a hologram to show the X-Men Gene Nation and explains that the Morlocks were taken to an alternate dimension where time was accelerated after Mikhail seemingly killed them all. Marrow and some others felt that the old Morlocks were weak and came back to Earth to reclaim their home and punish the humans.

Meanwhile, Gambit receives a phone call from Rogue. She tells him that they’re going to Seattle, where Gambit apparently did something really awful. Gambit tries to stop her, but she leaves the phone off the hook. Cyclops, Beast, Jean, Archangel, and Psylocke load up into the Blackbird. They’re acting as back up to the main team, but they don’t do anything else important in this issue. Archangel discusses the loss of his wings with Betsy.

At Sinister’s secret base, his assistant Threnody alerts Sinister that Gambit is on his way to Seattle just as she was ordered to do if that ever transpired. Sinister says some vague and cryptic mutterings about this being according to plan.

Wolverine, Callisto, Colossus, and Storm are the only four that Callisto’s teleporter could carry, so they are the ones searching the sewers. Callisto blames Storm for all of this, but the group is interrupted by a mangled body in front of a message for the X-Men. A new Gene Nation member named Reverb is tracking the X-Men, and Marrow is anxious to begin the fight. The X-Men are attacked by a big, strong mutant named Hemingway, who Callisto notes as having mutated recently. Vessel also shows up for the fight. While Colossus and Wolverine hold them off, Storm and Callisto continue towards the hostages.

The two Morlock leaders find the hostages escaping. One stops to fill them in, but then shoots Callisto with a gun, revealing himself to be Sack; Storm subdues him. Marrow appears and tells Storm that she was a young girl when Storm became leader of the Morlocks. Storm offered hope but never followed through on any of it, angering Marrow, who was once called Sarah. She reveals a number of hostages with bombs attached to them. The trigger has been strapped to Marrow’s heart, so Storm has to remove it before the timer reaches zero. They agree to a one-on-one duel using Marrow’s bone fragments as knives.

The mutant Reverb tries to affect the fight by attacking Storm, but Storm kills him by throwing her knives at him. Unarmed, Storm is still able to overpower Marrow, stab her, and cut out her heart to save the day.

The X-Men free the hostages and Callisto asks Colossus if he wants to go with her, but he declines. After a good-bye kiss she teleports away. Colossus decides his place is no longer with the X-Men either, so he walks away after saying good-bye to Storm. Storm agonizes over her choice, and Wolverine comforts her as they walk away.

How It Was: This issue is double-sized with a foldout cardboard cover to celebrate the 20th Anniversary of Giant-Sized X-Men #1, the issue where Wolverine, Storm, Colossus, Nightcrawler, and Banshee joined the X-Men. Thunderbird did as well, but he died after three issues, so he hardly counts. The bad news is that this month had two, two, two double-sized issues for me to review and this is the first. And of course, both issues have covers that neglect to have the titles of the comic books or their numbers on the front, so that’s real helpful to collectors and potential new fans.

As for the comic, there is a lot of space filled by baseball and later by exposition. The baseball game has some fun comments from Beast, but other than that the rest of the scene is silly, and not in a good way. The inclusion of Generation X is perplexing since they don’t do anything else for the rest of the issue even though they’ve also been fighting members of Gene Nation in their own title. At the very least they should have let Banshee go with the field team since the rest of the members are all mutants from Giant-Sized X-Men #1.

This book seems to be full of errors. Callisto’s unconscious appearance is most likely a last minute mistake that was covered with dialogue. Callisto has to note that Hemingway has mutated recently, which probably means that his design was different in Generation X. And Callisto blames Storm for neglecting the Morlocks when she did the very same thing back in her last appearance in Uncanny X-Men. None of these break the story, but it is frustrating to see so much inconsistency.

The tone suddenly shifts from light and silly in the beginning to very, very dark. All of a sudden we go from laughing at people crashing into each other on home plate to mangled bodies left as messages for the X-Men. And while the battle with Gene Nation is what you would expect, the fight between Storm and Marrow is surprisingly violent. We get the two slicing at each other with bone knives, Storm licking Marrow’s blood off of a knife (???), and Marrow getting her heart ripped out. It’s a pretty big “what the?” moment, at least until you start to think about how stupid and contrived it is to strap a bomb detonator to her heart in the first place. Most of these final scenes feel out of character for Storm, from the taunting with licking blood to the part when she tells Marrow to “get over it.” The scenes at the end showing Storm’s guilt make it clear that she was putting on a strong face, but it still reads really strangely.

While the Gene Nation members are still completely one-dimensional, Marrow does have some good moments. When she’s not being “strap a bomb to your heart” crazy, she actually comes off as a fairly sympathetic character who put her faith in Storm and was ultimately disappointed when she let the Morlocks “die.” And for all my insisting that Callisto is a big hypocrite, she does have a good point about the X-Men having forgotten about the Morlocks; after all, they’re playing a game of baseball on the anniversary of the Morlock Massacre.

It’s also nice to see Colossus back as an X-Man, even though I feel like there were still stories left to explore with him as a villain. He doesn’t do a lot except flirt with Callisto and take accusations from Wolverine, but he’s still back where he is meant to be. And speaking of Wolverine, he gets some classic lines in while fighting with Gene Nation, and he’s finally wearing his mask again.

There are some pretty good moments in this book, but you have to wade through a lot of filler to get to them. Plus Gene Nation’s origins are quite convoluted, involving interdimensional portals and different rates of time. It’s nice to have Storm in the spotlight, and it gets rid of the Morlocks for the time being, although they always come back.

C

X-Men #44

X-Men #44
Writing: Fabian Nicieza
Art: Andy Kubert

What Went Down: A mysterious armored person is standing over the unconscious body of Colossus in Antarctica. Colossus mistakes the stranger for an attacker and wonders what has become of Magneto. The mystery person blasts Peter unconscious again and hints at a former romantic connection to him.

In space, we see Xavier’s astral form breaking apart as he strains to make contact with his X-Men; this is due to an “unknown force” which I think is supposed to be the emergence of Nate Grey. Amelia Voght questions why Charles is going to all this effort, and Xavier has to explain that he is committed to the safety of his students. In case you were wondering, Cerebro is still out of commission from when Banshee destroyed it during the Phalanx story.

Bishop calls in to let Xavier know that Jean Grey and Skids have survived their reentry into Earth, but Jean’s rapport with Scott is gone. Cyclops and the rest of the Acolytes have landed in the middle of the Australian outback. The Kleinstock Brothers keep finding things to complain about, while Unuscione and Cargil are actually grateful to Cyclops for saving them. Cyclops blasts a hole in the ground to get water for them to drink. Then they begin their trek.

Later the group comes across Scanner, who has exhausted herself trying to search for signs of life; Cyclops carries her until they break for camp. Scott reassures the Acolytes that they are going to make it through this.

In Antarctica, the mystery person is dragging Colossus to Magneto’s abandoned citadel. At Xavier’s, Jean has plugged herself into Cerebro, despite Charles having claimed it was broken earlier in this issue. Charles comes up with a plan where he can use Amelia to channel his powers somehow since his physical body is what is holding him back. He also mentions that Amelia’s mist state has become her natural form, and she has to concentrate to remain solid, creating fear that she might lose her humanity. Amelia reluctantly agrees to the plan.

Back in the Outback, Scanner returns from recon, claiming to have found civilization. Cyclops blasts a hole through the mountain in front of them, and the group finds the X-Men’s old home base from when they lived in Australia. Xavier and Amelia try their physical/psionic link, but it fails. Luckily, Scott contacts them from Australia, letting them know he is all right. Scott also mentions that someone else has recently used this base, but I don’t think that this is ever brought up again.

Amelia gets angry since they risked their lives for nothing, but Xavier explains how important it is to have a cause to believe in. Amelia realizes she isn’t strong enough to sacrifice for Xavier or Magnus, so she teleports away. In Magneto’s citadel, the mystery person has placed Colossus in a healing machine of some kind. Peter wakes up and demands to know who is under the mask, and it turns out to be Calisto—the former leader of the Morlocks, asking if Peter wants to save the world.

How It Was: Andy Kubert’s back after taking a couple months off to recuperate from all of the work he had to do to help create Age of Apocalypse. The art is fine, although it’s a sharp departure from Paul Smith. Plus, there are a lot of art errors that contradict the previous issues. Colossus and Amelia are both shown wearing the wrong costumes, and it looks as if Kubert has drawn Jean Grey in Cerebro, even though it’s supposed to be broken. On the plus side, look at the cover. It’s a fantastic depiction of the best, or at least my favorite X-Man, Cyclops.

And this issue really does justice to the first X-Man as Nicieza demonstrates exactly how to make Cyclops work. He’s the man with the plan and even though he’s stuck with a team that he neither likes nor trusts, he still knows exactly how to lead them. Nicieza understands that Scott doesn’t need to be cracking jokes or barking orders; he needs to be calm, stoic, and collected. And while the others argue about their petty complaints, Cyclops gets it done. Very awesome. The rest of the Acolytes aren’t as fleshed out; the Kleinstocks come off as particularly annoying, making me wish Holocaust had killed them too.

Speaking of annoying, Amelia sure is whiny this issue. She comes off as an apathetic teenager, complaining to Xavier every time he does something because apparently caring about people is stupid. I guess it does fit in with her character, but she could tone it down a little. Plus Colossus comes off as a little hostile and jumpy.

Well, Magneto’s body has disappeared, creating a bit of mystery for a couple months, and Calisto is back in town. Even though Lobdell wrote the Last Morlock Story years ago, they are coming back again. So the X-Staff destroyed one awful group of mutants only to resurrect another. However, I like that Xavier risks his life unnecessarily to try to save one of his students, even if Lobdell has already had him do this once in X-Men Unlimited #1. This issue features fantastic characterization for Xavier and Cyclops, and legitimately feels like the end of a significant story with the destruction of the Acolytes, even though they’ll be back much later.

B+

Uncanny X-Men #293

Uncanny X-Men #293
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Tom Raney

What Went Down: Storm, Colossus, and Bishop begin the issue by tracking the Morlocks as they return to the sewers. Even though the Morlocks are no longer under the influence of the scared little boy from last issue, the Gold Team still wants to make sure there is no trouble. Also, following the Morlocks evidently means breaking through the walls of the sewers instead of just tailing one of them.

Well big surprise, there is trouble as Mikhail Rasputin (in full crazy mode) is discovered at the Morlocks’ lair sitting on a throne made of live Morlocks. It seems he wants to take over the vacant spot of leader.

In another part of the sewers, Jean Grey is looking for Archangel, who left the fight to go sulk last issue. Professor X is guiding her telepathically until Calisto attacks him.

Colossus decides that he has to reach out to his brother, a very reasonable assumption, and begins by tearing off his shirt, a very weird and uncomfortable action. Mikhail uses his powers to open the floodgates because he believes that the best direction he can take as leader is to kill all of the Morlocks in a flood, thus sending them to the hereafter where they won’t have to suffer any more.

Jean finds Archangel reminiscing about when the Marauders injured his wings, although he calls them the Reavers by accident (i.e. typo). Jean tells him that his wings aren’t controlling him, even though other stories had already established that they do sometimes, and that all of his rages were his own fault. Unfortunately this explanation is allowed to stand, killing the only good Archangel plot thread for the foreseeable future, at least until he starts dating Psylocke, which isn’t really that interesting at all.

Back to Xavier, he severely embarrasses Calisto by knocking her out. That’s right; an unarmed, paralyzed man on the ground beats up the warrior leader of the Morlocks who has a knife. Mikhail uses his powers to carry the Professor and Calisto to where he is, so now he has telekinesis as well.

Iceman shows up to attack Mikhail, and the X-Men get to work trying to stop him. Iceman tries shooting ice at him, Bishop tries absorbing all of his energy, but nothing works. Oddly enough, Iceman is also ineffective at trying to freeze the water, which doesn’t really make sense since that’s the whole point of his power.

Colossus gives up and tells his brother that he will die with him if he must, but Archangel saves him. Mikhail uses his powers to use Jean Grey’s powers and send all of the X-Men out of the sewers before the water crushes all of the Morlocks. No worries, they’ll be back.

The issue ends with Colossus calling his sister and telling her that his trip home is going to be postponed. Then Jean consoles him as he cries for his brother.

How It Was: So the Morlocks, and Mikhail, get unceremoniously dumped out of the comic because nobody wants to deal with them. But the real problem with this issue is that a lot of it just doesn’t make sense. If the Morlocks are no longer being controlled, then why do they make Mikhail their leader, and how come no one protests when he decides to kill everyone? Why is Jean telling Warren that his wings aren’t responsible for his rages when other stories have clearly established that they are? Why does Archangel have to cry for two issues straight? How could the Professor possibly beat Calisto when he is a paralyzed man in the water with a bleeding leg? How come Iceman can’t freeze water? Why has Mikhail decided to go against his no killing rule? And why does Colossus rip his shirt off when there are only a couple of holes in it? There are just too many aspects of the plot that don’t make sense.

The one shining moment in the comic occurs during the last two pages, and not just because the story finally ends. The scene where Peter talks to his sister while trying to hold it together is very powerful. And the art does a fantastic job of rendering Peter’s pain. It’s a well done bit that is the complete opposite of Archangel’s scenes, as these are relatable and warrented. While it’s a great scene, it’s not enough to make up for all of the other shortcomings with this final chapter.

D

Uncanny X-Men #292

Uncanny X-Men #292
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Tom Raney

What Went Down: Things aren’t going too well for the Gold Team since the last issue. Storm is still having a conniption over being swarmed by hideous mutants in an enclosed space, Archangel has abandoned the X-Men to go cry like a little girl at the spot where he lost his wings during the Mutant Massacre, and the Morlocks are rioting in New York. To make matters worse, Colossus and Bishop start the issue out with a confrontation over Bishop’s violent tendencies.

Back at the mansion, Iceman is getting his clock cleaned by Mikhail Rasputin. One of the major themes of Scott Lobdell’s Iceman stories is having Bobby realize that he hasn’t lived up to his potential as far as mastering his own powers as time after time other mutants use his powers better than he can. Mikhail demonstrates how to melt Iceman, turn Iceman into pure ice, and shatter and reform Iceman.

In between issues, it looks as if it was decided that the cause of the Morlocks’ riot was not Masque’s violation of their bodies and minds. Instead, the cause is actually a Morlock boy named Braincell who is projecting his feelings of fear into everyone else.

Colossus and Jean fight one of the most annoying characters I have ever read, MeMe. He’s a Morlock who absorbs people into his body, making him stronger, and he also happens to have the rather aggravating habit of repeating random words twice in his sentences. It annoy annoys me a lot lot. Thankfully, the only way to save the people he’s absorbed is for Jean to shut off his mind. They make a big deal about it being sad and Jean even cries, but I say good riddance to awful characters.

Bishop is also fighting a group of Morlocks, but he is interrupted by the police. They want to arrest him for killing all those mutants before he joined the X-Men. He shoots at their cars in an attempt to scare them away, and Storm takes that exact moment to reenter the fray and chastise Bishop.

As Mikhail beats up Iceman, Calisto tears apart Storm’s room and finds her old vest that she gave to Storm.

Down in the sewer, Xavier has to exit his hover chair to crawl into the small space that the young boy is hiding. In a completely unnecessary gross out scene, the Professor gets his pants caught on something, pulls really hard, and then realizes that it was actually his leg that was caught on something, and he has now ripped that leg open pretty badly. Despite the risk of bleeding to death, the Professor calms the kid down, and the Morlocks calm down in turn.

At the mansion, Calisto and Mikhail kiss; Mikhail explains that he cannot bring himself to kill anybody, but Calisto believes she can change his mind.

How It Was: It’s a big fight issue, occasionally interrupted by Archangel’s weeping and the Professor goring himself on debris. Warren’s weeping in this issue is completely uncalled for since he was joking with the X-Men down in the sewers during the previous issue, as well as the fact that he’s supposed to be the freaking angel of death. I was expecting him to maybe flip out on the Morlocks and give into the dark side that writers had been building up in stories since the original X-Factor. Instead, next issue completely ruins all of that setup by ignoring a lot of it and prematurely ending Archangel’s uncontrollable darkness, except for a brief scene during the crossover. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for characters expressing emotion, but not for them acting pathetic.

Mikhail is still lame, but his fight with Iceman is kind of exciting. Evidently crazy is contagious since Calisto is now acting completely nuts as well. As mentioned before, the scene with MeMe can’t end fast enough. Poor Bishop gets scolded not once, but twice for being too violent. Having the toughest character on the Gold Team being constantly chastised like a school boy is definitely not the way to make him seem cooler.

The art is good, especially the scenes in the sewer with Xavier. The Morlocks are all pretty generic looking, but I guess that’s part of the idea of the whole getting violated by Masque aspect. And even though I do hate it the scene with Archangel crying looks really nice.

It’s a long fight that has nothing to really recommend story or character wise, especially if you’re squeamish. The only really interesting aspect is the possibility of the X-Men and the police coming into conflict over Bishop’s wanted status, but nothing ever comes of this and it’s soon forgotten.

C

Uncanny X-Men #291

Uncanny X-Men #291
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Tom Raney

What Went Down: Random Fact About the X-Men #1: they are fans of Jay Leno. Random Fact #2: some of them need more appropriate pajamas to wear while they watch together. The X-Men’s Leno viewing is interrupted by a beaten up woman at the front door; Colossus answers the door in his boxers. The badly beaten woman turns out to be Calisto, and the badly beaten Morlock Healer is with her.

Upstairs Mikhail is having hallucinations about all of the people he killed with his powers back in the Void. Rather than act terrified, he seems to just grudgingly acknowledge them.

In the medlab, Professor X scans Calisto’s mind to discover what happened. Basically the Healer came by to ask if Calisto would reassume her role as leader of the Morlocks, and she refused because she likes being pretty and not living in the sewers (due to the mutant Masque’s ability to shapshift other people). Unfortunately, all of the Morlocks have been made even more hideous by Masque, and this has made them a tad insane. After she says no, the other Morlocks freak out and beat both of them senseless.

Everyone is startled to discover that Mikhail was able to listen in on the Professor’s psychic frequency. Mikhail also expresses his sympathy for Calisto since she is also responsible for the fall of a group of people entrusted to her. Storm declares that she is going to try to stop the Morlocks by herself (because she was technically the Morlocks’ leader until Masque took over), but Archangel talks her out of it by explaining that the Morlocks are everybody’s responsibility.

As the X-Men are planning their next move, the Healer heals all of Calisto’s wounds, but at the cost of his life and Calisto’s beauty for some reason.

There is a subplot scene about a man in sunglasses from the Friends of Humanity collecting someone at a nursing home…I have no idea what this refers to; I think it was a dropped plotline.

Well the X-Men, plus Professor X, journey to the sewers, and Iceman stays at the mansion to watch Calisto. Mikhail gets in Iceman’s face and tells him he is going to free Calisto.

Down in the sewers, Storm tries to talk to the Morlocks, but they all swarm around her. She flips out because of her claustrophobia, and blasts a hole through the sewer to the surface, setting free all of the unstable Morlocks.

How It Was: And so begins “The Last Morlock Story.” Except it’s not really, the last issue of this arc just has those words on the cover. Between this story and the Mutant Massacre, you’d think the Morlocks would be all gone by now, but they always find a way to come back.

This is a pretty good intro to the story, although in the next couple of issues the narrative starts to abandon logic. But the badly beaten Calisto does start the issue off with a sense of urgency, as does the death of the Healer, even if he was an inconsequential mid-1980s comic book bit character (Random Fact: the Healer actually appears in the X-Men Legends video game voiced by Emmy and Golden Globe Award winning actor Ed Asner, so maybe he’s not that minor). However, Mikhail’s perceived connection with Calisto doesn’t really make much sense since she completely abandoned the Morlocks without reservations and remorselessly killed some in the process. Future stories tend to forget the whole “pretty Calisto” plot, and in a few years she will be accusing Storm of abandoning her people without any sense of guilt or irony. But back to Mikhail, he turns into a total tool over the course of this story, and Lobdell keeps giving him more and more applications for his vaguely defined powers.

It’s also nice to see characters like Archangel and Storm react to having to deal with the Morlocks again, although it is funny how every Morlock story starts with Storm feeling guilty about not taking her role as leader seriously, and then afterwards she completely ignores them until the next Morlock crisis.

The art by fill in artist Tom Raney is rather nice. Sometimes the proportions on characters are a little off, and the two page spread on the second and third pages contains characters in some completely unnecessary action poses, but for the most part the characters are depicted clearly, and with some great expressions. There is a really gross scene of one of the Morlock’s taking out Calisto’s eye, followed by a great shot of her tearing the Morlocks apart with her arms covered in blood. Unfortunately the coloring scheme in Calisto’s flashback consists of hot pink and neon orange.

It’s a decent story up until the last couple of pages where we get some of the most boring banter between the gold team yet (Jean worries about the Professor some more, Colossus bores Warren with his theories on his brother’s powers), and then Storm freaks out and blasts a hole in the sewer. I don’t really understand why this is such big deal since the Morlocks could have easily just used the manholes to get to the surface and terrorize New York if Storm hadn’t freaked out.

Some interesting and memorable moments, but the parts with Mikhail and the end kind of ruin it.

B-