X-Men: Liberators #4

X-Men: Liberators #4

Writing: Joe Harris

Art: Phil Jimenez

What Went Down:  No flashback for the opening.  Instead Omega Red bursts into Province 13 and threatens General Sergei.  Sergei says their transaction is complete, but Red wants to know why the X-Men are involved.  Nightcrawler is busy digging up graves in the cold wilderness, searching for Wolverine.  Colossus surprises him, and they are both set upon by a naked Wolverine asking for his clothes. 

At Province 13 the guards are on high alert, and the students are being evacuated.  Ariana is being used as bait to draw out Nikolas.  Nanya and her friend return to the classroom and meet Nightcrawler, while Omega Red confronts Wolverine.  As Kurt talks to the two young girls, the Wolverine/Omega Red fight spills through a window.  Omega threatens the young girls, while Colossus goes to rescue Ariana. 

Sergei sets fire to his office, while we see signs that Nikolas has accepted the bait.  Kurt and Logan rescue the girls just in time for Nikolas to appear.  Nikolas fights the villain, with Red fleeing as his body starts to shut down.  Ariana confronts her son, and sets him free from his hard existence with a shard of broken glass.  At the same time, Colossus takes Nanya from General Sergei just before he kills himself.  In the epilogue, we see that Ariana has adopted Nanya and is taking care of her. 

The issue ends with a continuation of the flashback from issue #1; Colossus holds a pneumatic press up while his friends are rescued.  The story ends with the three X-Men being greeted by the rest of the team in the present.

How It Was:  The issue opens with a compelling sequence of Nightcrawler desperately digging through snowy graves to find Wolverine; it would’ve been rather engaging if we didn’t see Wolverine dig himself out last issue. 

So after three issues revolving around the fate of Nikolas, the last issue tries to squeeze some tension out of putting the little girls in danger that we hardly know or care about.  Moreover, Omega Red is the one that threatens them, and for no other reason than because he’s a huge jerk.  His purpose in the story is so non-existent that after a one panel confrontation with Nikolas, Omega Red realizes there’s no reason for him to be there and leaves.

There’s weak attempt to humanize General Sergei at the end that doesn’t quite work, but I will admit that Harris does squeeze some tragedy out of Ariana and Nikolas’ reunion.  Having both characters agonize over not being with each other for two issues, only to have Nikolas killed by the only being that can touch him… well it’s pretty sad.  Colossus learns to be happier by appreciating what he has, which is a fine enough way to end his journey after the grimness he’s been through.

The art is fantastic, only flawed by some pretty major coloring mistakes on the final page for most of the X-Men.  Even though all the fights consist of nothing but Omega Red grabbing and throwing people, it still looks really great.  I can’t really understand the aversion to fighting in this series; the few fights we do see feel very dull and hurried.  The final, climactic battle between Nikolas and Omega Red consists of them staring angrily at each other before Omega runs off complaining about pain.

This is a pretty disappointing series all told.  I’m not so much bothered by how generic the plot and villains are; it’s just that the entire execution feels rushed, although competent.  All the X-Men are in character, but they don’t feel like they have much to do or say in this story.  It takes Colossus all of one page to deal with his family’s death, and although Nightcrawler and Wolverine are there for moral support, they have absolutely nothing to add.  Nikolas unfortunately has no voice or personality, so although we can feel bad for him as readers, we can’t connect with him or find anything redeemable in his presence.  Everyone else just serves as mouth pieces to push the story around, with Omega Red in the middle to make the story authentically Russian, I guess.  I don’t think you’d miss a thing if you avoided this series because it is never mentioned ever again.

For Completists

X-Men: Liberators #3

X-Men: Liberators #3

Writing: Joe Harris

Art: Phil Jimenez

What Went Down:  This issue opens with a flashback of a Hide and Seek game played on the mansion grounds around the eighties era.  Colossus manages to sneak up on Wolverine.  At Provence 13 in the present, Wolverine is “dying” from his exposure to the mutant Nikolas as scientists are examining him. On a mountain, Colossus has found a cave where he and the old woman are hiding.  He brings firewood for the woman, whose name is Ariana.  She explains how she is Nikolas’ mother and how he was taken away from her as a baby because his touch killed everyone except her.  Nikolas was taken by Sergei, and Ariana resents the Rasputins because they were normal looking mutants able to hide from the government. 

At night Nightcrawler sneaks onto the base after following the soldiers.  He discovers the children taken from their families by the government.  Sergei’s superior Alexei explains that the government is shutting down Sergei’s base. 

Nightcrawler tries to speak with the children, but he doesn’t know Russian.  He is able to communicate telepathically with the girl Nanya, who can translate for her friends.  Nightcrawler vows to rescue the children.  In the woods, Omega Red is hunting Nikolas, and comes across a wrecked cabin with two dead adults and an abandoned child.

Omega Red manages to find the cave with Ariana in it, so he and Colossus battle.  Their fight is interrupted by Nikolas, Ariana’s son.  Omega Red throws a rock, and both Colossus and Nikolas go over the cliff.

Wolverine “dies” and is left alone by the scientists.  Nightcrawler finds him dead, and takes his uniform with him.  Colossus unburies himself and sees that Nikolas has fled.  Nightcrawler escapes, but we see that Wolverine’s body has been buried, and he has healed enough to rise. 

How It Was:  We finally get to see where Colossus’ arc is going this series; he is given Ariana’s tragic story to compare with his own tragedies to realize how much worse his life could’ve been.  That’s as good a conclusion as any for Colossus to come to after a decade of having family death after family death; he learns to appreciate time he did have with his family. 

Meanwhile, Wolverine sits on a slab for a whole issue, and Nightcrawler has nothing to do except wander around Province 13 and meet some kids.  The art is great as he sneaks around and teleports stealthily, but it doesn’t hide the fact that he has nothing to do; he’s searching for Wolverine, but after Kurt finds him, Wolverine just gets dumped outside again by the soldiers making for a total waste of an issue.

Then there’s the glaring fact that Omega Red has no purpose in this story.  The narration claims that he’s working for the government after being freed from exile, but there’s no motivation for him to be hunting Nikolas.  He’s here because the X-Men are in Russia, and heaven forbid they fight any other super villain in Russia other than Omega Red. 

Besides the interplay between Colossus and Ariana, there is really nothing here to catch your attention.  There’s a three page fight that ends abruptly, and that’s about it.  The art is really nice and gives Colossus and Nightcrawler a nice range of emotion and movement, but that still doesn’t change the fact that they’re not saying or doing anything memorable.

Completists Only

X-Men: Liberators #2

X-Men: Liberators #2

Writing: Joe Harris

Art: Phil Jimenez + Aiken, Leigh, & Pepoy

What Went Down:  Again we begin with a flashback, this one occurring around Giant-Sized X-Men #1.  Wolverine attacks Colossus to see what he’s really made of.  In present day Russia, Colossus visits the graves of his parents.  Over at Province 13, General Sergei observes two children being tested for psychic capabilities.  The General swears one of the girls, Nanya, is looking in his mind.

Peter encounters an elderly woman in the graveyard’s chapel.  After identifying himself as Piotr Rasputin, the woman spits on the ground and curses his family, so Peter leaves.  In the woods nearby, Kurt and Logan wait patiently for Colossus.  They discover oddly warped trees and dead animals.  Assuming it’s hunters, Wolverine decides to go and teach a lesson about killing animals for sport and leaving them there. 

Back at the church, a military helicopter lands and soldiers flood out to surround the old woman.  Colossus bursts in and fights off the soldiers.  He escapes with the woman.  After confronting the hunters, Logan and Kurt observe them getting attacked by the mutant monster Nikolas.  Wolverine fights it off, but he soon gets sick and passes out.  The soldiers carry Wolverine away, and Nightcrawler is forced flee. 

Sergei receives a call that one of his superiors from Moscow will be visiting him.  We end on some Russian soldiers discovering Omega Red in the Savage Land and offering to bring him home.

How It Was:  Another low-key issue as the plot keeps chugging along.  There isn’t really that much to tell.  The purpose of the X-Men’s visit gets fulfilled as Peter starts the issue at his parents’ graves and dwells on it for a whole two sentences of internal monologue.  For a series that is billing itself on the group’s history by starting each issue with a flashback, there is surprisingly no reflection on how Peter’s parents died, the deaths of his other siblings, or his time with the Acolytes.  They could’ve easily tied this into the main series by mentioning Colossus’ Christmas visitation from Illyana, but alas he’s just there.  Peter’s just going through the motions of the plot, and the cemetery visit ends up being nothing more than a plot convenient way for Colossus to meet Nikolas’ mother who just happens to be at the same church.

With this issue the X-Men actually become embroiled in the plot.  Although Wolverine and Nightcrawler are supposed to be there to support Colossus, they take the time to deal with some hunters because it bothers Wolverine.  And while the plot affords the opportunity for some action, neither the writer nor the artists really seem interested in dwelling on it.  We get two panels of Colossus getting shot at before beating up all the soldiers off-panel, followed by Wolverine fighting Nikolas for all of one page which amounts to one dodge and one claw swipe.  It’s disappointing to see a super hero comic so uninterested in showing any type of action or excitement. 

As for the rest of the issue, the shady Russian soldiers and their general still aren’t very interesting, and Omega Red shows up for no purpose other than because this is a Russian-set X-story.  There is some mystery to be had in how the X-Men are going to fight Nikolas if he can take Wolverine so easily, but other than that this is just a story just plodding along with nothing impressive.  The closest bit to a standout moment is General Sergei’s observations of the telepathic Nanya staring through him behind the wall, but minor details can’t salvage how uneventful this is.

For Completists

X-Men: Liberators #1

X-Men: Liberators #1

Writing: Joe Harris

Art: Phil Jimenez

What Went Down:  The intro involves a flashback to the Claremont/Byrne era circa Days of the Future Past.  Our three stars of the mini, Wolverine Colossus, and Nightcrawler, enjoy a test in the Danger Room.  In the present, these same three X-Men are on a plane to Russia to visit the graves of Peter’s parents.  Nightcrawler scares a little girl by coming out of the restroom before turning on his image inducer. 

At a military base called Province 13, the Russian equivalent of Area 51, General Sergei observes a room of children playing with toys, some using super powers.  The general slides back a panel on a dark cell, looks at the shadowy figure inside, and laughs internally at his current predicament. 

Arriving at the Moscow Airport, Wolverine decides to take his friends to a local pub full of a “certain element.”  Back at Province 13, a rookie soldier relieves the guards of the mystery cell; he is afraid of the monsters that might be lurking here, and he is teased by his peers. 

Back at the bar, Wolverine has talked Peter into arm wrestling one of the thugs who taunted them.  During the bout, one of the other thugs tries to steal the X-Men’s bags, so they start a bar fight and totally dominate the locals. 

Back at the base, the shadowy creature hides from its captors during meal time, tricking them into opening the door. Once the creature touches the soldiers, their bodies start to decay. 

After trashing the bar, the X-Men leave some money and go on their merry way.  We also learn that the mystery creature’s name is Nikolas as he kills more soldiers.  Nikolas coincidentally winds up stowing away on the same train that the X-Men are taking.

How It Was:  Liberators is a mini that is all but forgotten; it has no effect on continuity, it doesn’t have anything profound to say about its characters, and its plot is basically a takeoff of any Frankenstein story: the misunderstood monster that’s been seen time and again.  The only thing that could possibly set it apart is the emphasis on the three X-Men and their long history.  The flashbacks do go a ways of drawing out this history; these X-Men joined the team at the same time, and as such their growth as teammates and friends has had profound influence on each other and the team.  Conversely, their interactions in the present don’t really highlight this history in any meaningful way.  Most of their brief conversations deal with polite teasing and Colossus’ discomfort at the situations Wolverine drags him into. 

Still, I’m willing to give this one the benefit of the doubt since it’s only the first issue, and so much of it is dedicated to the antagonists.  This project is fueled by pure nostalgia, highlighting a friendship that has been missing from comics for almost a decade, due to the heroes frequenting other teams over the years.  It’s excusable to start out with some lighthearted joking and bar fighting, with a promise of possibly something more substantial in later issues.  Plus fans of the X-Men never really got to see Peter deal with the death of his parents before he joined the Acolytes (although he probably dealt with it in Excalibur, I would assume).

This leaves the Russian military who are trying to weaponize mutants—all setup and exposition up to this point.  Again, this is nothing special, with all the soldiers sharing the same personality and Nikolas’ escape being easily predictable.  I will say that the design for Nikolas is quite grotesque, although it doesn’t really stand out in any way.  This is an okay start to the series.  Not much happens; the characters are all characterized well and their dynamic is well defined: Wolverine’s the wild one, Colossus is the shy one, and Nightcrawler is a little bit of both.  Nothing to write home about, but nothing offensive either. 

For X-Fans

Uncanny X-Men #365

Uncanny X-Men #365

Writer: Steve Seagle

Art: Chris Bachalo

What Went Down:  It’s Christmas Eve in Salem Center when Colossus is awakened by a mysterious voice leading him to the attic.  The voice tells Peter to “remember” after doing some crazy things with his perceptions.  Peter immediately goes to Storm, who brushes it off as a bad dream.  Peter thinks the voice has something to do with his latest drawing, but his canvas has mysteriously vanished.

Peter starts to recreate his drawing, but notices a light outside.  Wolverine, Gambit, and Alpha Flight’s Puck are in a cabin enjoying a fire.  Colossus returns to his room and finds his drawing returned with writing on it telling the story of an ice princess who lost her face.  Peter starts a new drawing, but is again interrupted by a noise downstairs.  It turns out that Nightcrawler and Kitty have obtained a tree to decorate for the team. 

After excusing himself, Peter finds Xavier in his study contemplating photos of his students that have passed away over the years.  The two heroes talk about ghosts and spirits, until Peter takes his leave.  Peter begins yet another drawing, believing he is being compelled by the spirit.  It again visits him, leading him again to the attic.

Peter finds a teleportation ring and meets the spirit of his dead sister Illyana.  She explains that she left the portal there before she died, and she needs someone alive to do something for her, but she cannot say it out loud.  After talking, Peter realizes that he has left his picture of Illyana packed away.  After unpacking it, his sister is able to move on.  Peter makes one more sketch before falling asleep.

In the morning it is revealed that Marrow was the one writing on Peter’s pictures; she frames one of them in bones as a thank you for the picture he gave her in X-Men #81. 

How It Was:  Seagle takes a stab at a Dickensian Christmas tale in the Marvel Universe for a post crossover downtime issue.  While this issue is somewhat of a nightmare for continuity enthusiasts, it does capture the somber tone perfectly without becoming too grim and broody.  Colossus is definitely a character who has faded to the background up to this point, so it’s great to see him get some time in the spotlight.  Although he had plenty of time to reflect on his sister’s life in Excalibur, X-Men fans never got a chance to see Peter really process his sister’s death; he just went off to Avalon and then came back one day.  This issue serves as a nice bookend to bridge his previous affiliation with the X-Men up to the here and now.

I also like that it is the members of the Claremont/Byrne era, back from such a long absence, who are again in charge of pulling the “modern” X-Men out of the doldrums of holiday depression.  Even though they don’t have any subplots of their own going on, it’s nice to see Kitty and Kurt serving a consistent function on the team.  The scene with Xavier is also a nice touch, tying well into the themes and resolution of the story.  It also reestablishes Xavier’s sentimentality after being away from the books for two years.

While the tone of Peter’s confused journey is spot on, there are still some odd choices for the issue.  Puck makes a baffling cameo for no purpose whatsoever.  Also the climax of the story is a little strange if you look at it literally.  Illyana can’t “move on” unless Peter figures out her vague riddle for her?  Unfortunately she cheats by saying “get the picture,” robbing Colossus of the personal victory of being able to help his sister on his own.  And of course with Illyana recently resurrected, I don’t know what that means for this story continuity wise.

I’m also not sure how I feel about Marrow’s turn as sneaky secret Santa.  It feels like a bit of character whiplash; I get that Peter’s efforts last issue were very selfless and well-intentioned, but Marrow’s personality is seemingly changed overnight in one issue.  She’s gone from the new Wolverine to the new Jubilee: smiling, friendly, and excited about Christmas.  To me Marrow should be reluctant to celebrate Christmas, but eventually discover a personal meaning in it for her.  You could argue she does do this, just all off panel.  It is after all Peter’s story.

It’s not the best sentimental issue, but it’s far from the worst either.  Despite the weird mechanics and out of place fairy tale shoehorned in, the dialogue and art make this a relatively enjoyable read.  It’s probably not going to the top of anyone’s reading stack, but it does manage to feel like genuine X-Men Christmas, with a few extraneous parts tacked on.  While it’s odd to see Illyana pop up again, it’s nice to see Peter get some closure sixty-some issues after her death in the X-Men titles.

For X-Men Fans

X-Men #83

X-Men #83

Writing: Joe Kelly

Art: Adam Kubert

What Went Down:  Renee Majcomb holds Nina the young Mannite as the Alpha Cerebro fights the X-Men.  Nina is able to assist by waking up members knocked unconscious. Gambit blows up the floor underneath the villain, buying the team some time to regroup.  In a power plant, the primary Cerebro is busy cataloging humans and locking them in spheres.

Back in Russia, Renee helps Nina explain her background.  Back at the Zero Tolerance base, Nina imprinted Xavier’s mind when she met him, adding his memories to her own telepathic and reality warping powers.  Charles was able to summon Renee to save Nina, and Nina led them to the monks that Charles had spent time with while trying to control his own powers. 

Cerebro attacks again, this time by controlling Colossus.  The Cerebrite is also able to prematurely cause Gambit’s cards to explode and utilize nanotechnology to trap Storm in a box.  The Cerebrite shoots a beam at Storm causing her to disappear. 

After a brief glimpse at the Cerbro battle over in Uncanny, we return to the action with Rogue saving the unconscious Gambit.  Rogue’s glove is torn, so she accidentally gets a glimpse of the green mist lady who saved Gambit in Antarctica.  The Cerebrite knocks out Rogue and takes Nina.

How It Was:  Kelly tries to frame this issue through narration that focuses on the fear that the young Nina must be going through.  This would be a lot more effective if the girl in question wasn’t an all-powerful plot device, or if anybody cared about Nina.  Anyway, here’s an issue long fight scene where half the X-Men fight their rogue computer. 

Actually the fight has some nice moments, like Gambit charging the floor up, and Storm blowing him away at the last second.  It’s a little annoying that Nina can use her powers to wake up X-Men that have been knocked unconscious.  I suppose that one could argue that Cerebro is just as overpowered: he can trigger powers, possess Colossus, and survive lots of different attacks.  But at least Cerebro explains how he makes Gambit’s cards explode or makes a box for Storm to be trapped in. 

There’s not a lot to say about this issue.  It’s a big fight with a lot of complaining from Renee and Nina.  Cerebro gets a chance to use its powers intelligently in taking down the X-Men, although it’s unclear why it only chooses to assimilate Storm instead of the whole team.  Plot convenience I guess.  Solid action.

For X-Fans

X-Men #1/2

X-Men #1/2

Writing: Todd Dezago

Art: Mike Wieringo

What Went Down:  We begin in a medieval fantasy city named Salaam Centaur (see where this is going?) full of knights, horses, fairies, and traders.  Nightcrawler is there, but he’s dressed like someone form Lord of the Rings and going by the name Kurt of the Ulfen Warriors.  Kurt comes into contact with a beggar, who is actually Marrow.  While the warrior gives Marrow some coins, she picks his pocket and takes the rest of his money.  However, when she returns to her hiding spot, the coin purse disappears from the spot she left it. 

Elsewhere, Ororo the Goddess-of-the-Winds is visited by Kit, an elven ambassador of Phaerie.  Of course these characters are actually Storm and Kitty Pryde.  At a tavern, Kurt comes into contact with a mercenary named Logan, who of course is Wolverine.  Wolverine and Storm simultaneously tell the story to their respective companions of a dark wizard that clouds men’s minds and his army of townspeople who protect him.  Both Logan and Ororo want to rescue the kidnapped people.  As both groups leave, Storm and Kitty are tracked by Colossus while Nightcrawler and Wolverine are tracked by Marrow.

Outside the castle, Kurt confronts Marrow, and Colossus confronts all of them.  The group decides to join forces, although Marrow is reluctant, thinking it is not her fight.  The Dark Wizard confronts the X-Men and commands his horde of townspeople to attack.  As Kurt teleports he notices reality flickering, revealing present day people fighting in a mall.  Kitty confirms the illusion when she phases. 

Logan gets an idea to stop the wizard.  Individually all the heroes attack the wizard and are one by one mind controlled.  The wizard reveals himself to be X-Men villain Mesmero, who is obviously hypnotizing the X-Men and the civilians into believing the medieval illusion.  After Colossus is possessed, Kit phases through him to punch out Mesmero. With Mesmero unconscious, the world turns back to normal and all of the civilians are freed.  The X-Men decide to leave with Mesmero, assuming that they will get the blame for this.

How It Was:  This issue was a special that could be ordered from Wizard Magazine.  Every month they would have a different ½ issue to be solicited from Marvel or Image (and rarely DC).  Most of these were one-off stories that never affected the major plot lines of the characters, since the issues were only available to Wizard Magazine readers and inaccessible to most regular X-Men readers.  So hence we have this little diddy that fits in after the Excalibur group joins, but before Gambit does.

What really works in this book is the setting and fantasy redesigns for all the characters.  Mike Wieringo really went above and beyond; from the first page it captures the feel of a swords and sorcery epic like Conan.  The costumes for all the characters are phenomenal.  They’re completely different form their regular costumes, but still feel true to the characters. 

The story is hampered a little by its brief length; it’s only sixteen pages long.  And the first half of the story is just introducing the characters, the characters introducing themselves to each other, and then explaining the big wizard that they need to fight. Again the art carries the book as the scope of the final battle is pretty impressive; there are a dozen townsfolk on any given page for the heroes to fight.  It’s just too bad the fight is only like four or five pages long. 

The reveal of Mesmero is quite random, and he doesn’t have any motivation here for making a mall full of people and the X-Men believe they live in a Tolkien novel.  He just does it for the sake of doing it.  Mesmero’s plot doesn’t even make sense.  He obviously has to have hypnotized the X-Men in the first place to make them believe the illusion of the fantasy world, so why not just make them his slaves to begin with; probably because that already happened when he made the X-Men circus performers in Uncanny #111.  Still, he tries to convince the X-Men to join him, then he takes over their minds at the end, but he still has to have some control over them for the fantasy world to work.  I just don’t know.

This is pretty easily skippable.  It has no bearing on the plot of either of the main titles.  It’s essentially filler that would have wound up in an issue of X-Men Unlimited if Wizard hadn’t approached Marvel to make a gimmicky collectable for the most popular comics franchise at the time.  Having said that, it is still worth a look to see the fantasy spins Wieringo gave the X-Men; between this and his FF run, it’s obvious Wieringo was a truly amazing talent.  Other than that it’s too short and inconsequential.

C

X-Men #80

X-Men #80

Writing: Joe Kelly

Art: Brandon Peterson

What Went Down:  Kitty starts off the issue making her escape while the evil X-Men pursue her.  She manages to make it down to the sewers where she finds the captive Peter Corbeau.

Elsewhere in the Florida swamplands, Colossus and Wolverine tear themselves out of the crashed Blackbird.  Wolverine acts abrasive towards Peter, angry about his time as one of Magneto’s Acolytes.  Storm appears to remind him that it is not worse than his marriage to Viper.  Rogue wakes up powerless and is saved from a hungry alligator by Marrow. 

There is more exposition from the blond news reporter, followed by a scene where a scientist and a general discuss the rockets true purpose…to hunt down and kill mutants.  Back in the sewers, Corbeau warns Kitty that she has to stop the rocket from launching.  Kitty escapes, forced to leave Corbeau behind. 

With Storm and Rogue powerless and Nightcrawler badly injured, the X-Men are forced to hike through the swamp.  Colossus helps Marrow remove some of her broken bone shards so new ones will grow.  Marrow mentions that Peter’s brother used to do the same thing for him.  With the team’s spirits down, Storm gives an impassioned speech that inspires them to continue on.  Kitty appears at a copy shop and sends a fax to SHIELD that is intercepted by Xavier.

The X-Men make it to Cape Citadel, just in time for Nightcrawler to feel better and Rogue and Storm to get their powers back.  Kitty also shows up at the control tower, just in time for it to be attacked by the alternate X-Men.  Fortunately the real X-Men show up to save her.  The Grey King is tinkering with the rocket when the true X-Men attack.  A fight ensues and the control team tries to launch the rocket.  In the middle of the fight, Xavier confronts our heroes and demands that they stop interfering with his goals.  The X-Men question his behavior, but Xavier explains that the Benassi Rocket contains hardware to complete a network that can identify and kill mutants with satellite lasers at will.  The X-Men are conflicted about what to do until Wolverine smells him and realizes that this Xavier isn’t even human.  After being attacked, the false Xavier turns into a being of blue energy. 

The Grey King removes the satellite from the rocket to help Xavier catalogue mutants.  The rocket is triggered with the X-Men right where the engines are, but Kitty is able to phase the team to prevent them from being disintegrated.  The rocket has to be stopped because it contains a nuclear payload, so Rogue absorbs Nightcrawler and Colossus’ powers as well as Wolverine’s military knowledge to stop it.  The X-Men stop the other “X-Men” and destroy the satellite while Rogue disarms the rocket.  The blue energy Xavier is appalled that the X-Men stopped him and vows vengeance, and the X-Men steal their enemies’ jet to get home.  The final two pages show the scientific, military, and government officials being grilled about attempting to wipe out mutants through the Benassi rocket.  The last page reveals that the false X-Men are just hard-light programs, and the false Xavier is really Cerebro, the X-Men’s mutant detecting computer, brought to life.

How It Was:  I’ve always liked Joe Kelly’s issues just a little more than Steve Seagle’s, and reading them side by side with the exact same cast and plot makes this preference even more apparent to me.  Both writers have a great handle on the characters, but Kelly just adds more small touches, more humor, and more of an emotional impact altogether.  The scene that exemplifies this the most is Marrow saving Rogue from the gator.  Whereas Seagle’s Marrow is more of an angry kid who rubs everybody the wrong way and doesn’t always realize what she’s saying, Kelly’s Marrow is a jaded, battle hardened youth who points out the weaknesses that others take for granted.  When she stands up to Storm about their odds against the evil X-Men, she’s being realistic, not condescending, and even Rogue and Strom agree with her a little.  Plus the scene of her killing the gator just makes me laugh.  Other stand out moments include Storm’s pep talk and some of the characters’ reflections on Xavier’s meaning to them.

Of course there are some nitpicks.  The worst offense is Rogue being drawn with her pink outfit from Uncanny #342-350 instead of her original green costume that she was wearing last issue.  This always, always bothers me every time I read this story.  Wolverine’s behavior towards Colossus feels a little hypocritical, considering how conflicted Wolverine has always been about straddling the line between hero and killer.  It still kind of works as Wolverine reacting to missing his friend in the only manner he can while maintaining his gruff persona, but it feels a little forced.  Also, there are some issues with the order of events in the story.  Xavier tells the X-Men to process Kitty towards the end of Uncanny #360, then the bad X-Men take out the real ones, then the next issue opens with them trying to capture Kitty, which they should’ve done before attacking the real X-Men.  Oh, and Peter Corbeau serves absolutely no purpose in this story; yeah he warns Kitty about the rocket, but fake Xavier is the one who explains to the X-Men why it’s important.  Corbeau doesn’t even show up in the end; there’s just a brief mention about the officials under investigation because of his testimony.

As for the villains of the story…they’re okay I guess.  They’re not funny, they’re not scary, they’re not really noble…they just kind of do whatever the plot requires of them.  As for the reveal at the end, I like the design of the living Cerebro, even if the concept is a little silly.  Plus the reveal confuses the origins of the all-new X-Men; my understanding of it is although they think they’re real mutants, they’re just programs constructed from Cerebro, made up of file combinations from all the mutants Cerebro knows.  So Rapture is a combination of Angel and Mystique; Landslide is a combination of Sabretooth and Blob; etc.  I can’t remember if this is from future issues, or if I just read this theory somewhere online.  I guess we’ll see.

There is a nice conflict here, not between the two teams, but with the idea of the X-Men’s identities being robbed from them, both by these new villains and the unfortunate circumstances that have left them down and out.  Kelly manages to make it feel significant that the X-Men are reclaiming their agency and their purpose.  Again, all the X-Men just feel perfectly characterized, and although their villains here are forgettable, the stakes of being supplanted or made obsolete feels very real.  It’s nowhere near as good a starting point as X-Men #70 was, but this is admittedly a likeable cast, and both writers have a strong handle on them.

B+

Uncanny X-Men #360

Uncanny X-Men #360

Writing: Steve Seagle

Art: Chris Bachalo

What Went Down: On the anniversary of Magneto’s first battle with the X-Men in Uncanny X-Men #1, a news reporter is covering the controversial launching of the Benassi rocket.  While the government insists it is just carrying camera equipment, skeptics are protesting the secrecy of the project and the nuclear components on the rocket. 

A mysterious bald figure in a wheelchair is collecting a new team of mutants to help him save the world.  There is the Grey King, a graduate assistant with telepathic dampening powers; Chaos, an autistic who can shoot psycho-plasmic force blasts; Mercury, who has liquid metal limbs; Rapture, a nun who is blue and has angel wings; Crux, an ice skater who can shoot fire and ice; and Landslide, a giant brawler.  At the end of the recruitment we see that it is none other than Professor X inviting the mutants to join the X-Men.

On a cruise ship named Titania, Colossus, Kitty Pryde, and Nightcrawler are enjoying a vacation after the disbanding of Excalibur.  The group discusses how it is the anniversary of the X-Men going public, and the ways that this event changed their lives.  Their reverie is interrupted by the new X-Men, who attack the cruise ship.  While Nightcrawler evacuates passengers and Colossus tries to plug a hole created by the fake X-Men, Kitty is captured by the group.

In the sewers of Washington D.C., Marrow, Rogue, Storm, and Wolverine are fighting a high tech security system.  Finding a door with an X on it, the group enters it to find a room outside a lab.  Although they were invited by sometime X-ally Peter Corbeau, it appears Corbeau has been abducted.  A tape left at the crime scene incriminates the X-Men. 

In a bunker in the Florida swamps, the evil X-Men are holed up with the captured Kitty.  Kitty is shocked that the mutants call themselves X-Men, and even more shocked to find that they have intimate knowledge of the real X-Men.  Professor X shows up to chastise Kitty for her behavior.

Inside the Lincoln Memorial, the four remaining X-Men meet with Val Cooper to discuss Corbeau’s disappearance.  Val offers the X-Men resources to help them clear their name.  Over in Salem, Nightcrawler and Colossus have gone to the mansion to enlist the help of the other X-Men.  The mansion is empty except for a shotgun wielding Cecilia Reyes, who is housesitting for the team.  After a brief misunderstanding, Cecilia leads the two heroes to the hanger where the original Blackbird is being housed after it was salvaged in Uncanny #353.  Kurt thinks he can fix it.

Back in Florida, Xavier tells Kitty that he cannot access his emotions because Bastion attempted to bind his functions to a computer with a virus.  Xavier’s detached behavior worries Kitty, as does the fact that he didn’t just ask for her help.  On the X-Men’s borrowed jet, the team observes a press conference outside the Cape Citadel rocket launch where a US director is seemingly assassinated.  We then get a scene where some shadowy government figures discuss how this was a fake distraction to take people’s attention away from what is really on the rocket.

Kitty manages to purge the virus from the computer.  Xavier rewards her by having his X-Men recapture her and prepare her for storage.  Up in the sky, the X-Men’s plane is dismantled in the air.  They assume Magneto is attacking, but it’s actually the fake X-Men.  A mid-air battle takes place, but Storm and Rogue lose their powers due to the Grey King.  Wolverine is left plummeting to the ground, but he is saved by Nightcrawler.  After saving the rest of the team, the Blackbird is shot down by Mercury.  

How It Was:  I had assumed I was done with gimmicky shiny foil cover double-sized issues, but lo and behold here we have two in a row.  Uncanny X-Men #360 and X-Men #80 are celebrating the 35^th anniversary of Uncanny X-Men #1; to my recollection these are the end of the foil-cover era for the X-Men.  These issues also mark some drastic changes to the books, mostly forced upon the writers by editors.  The team has been scaled back to a core cast of seven regulars, Uncanny and X-Men tie into each other regularly making for essentially a bi-weekly reading experience, and the former members of Excalibur are being shuffled back on the team. 

I’m torn about the inclusion of Nightcrawler, Kitty, and Colossus.  On the one hand I’m overjoyed as an X-Men fan to see them since these characters haven’t been on the main X-Men team in almost a decade (Excalibur lasted 125 issues).  On the other hand, it’s clear there is no real reason or story behind having them back on the team—somebody just thought it would be neat, which it is.  But there is something to be said for picking a cast because of potential stories to do and picking a team because people like the characters.  Worst of all, the majority of the new X-Men (Maggott and Cecilia), who had tons of story potential as the characters grew into their heroic roles, have completely been thrown out without any warning.  I really liked both these characters and the books feel more directionless without them.

But I should probably talk about the comic itself.  It’s double-sized, and fairly padded out, although there are some nice action sequences towards the end. A lot of the fluff revolves around the tedious newscaster exposition scenes that just aren’t very interesting.  There’s an incomprehensible attempt to make them more relevant by having a government conspiracy with a faked assassination that makes no sense at all.  If you wanted people to not pay attention to you’re high profile satellite launch, pretending to kill a member of the staff seems like it would be counterproductive.  Having the story take place at Cape Citadel is a nice call back to the first issue of the series, but many of these scenes feel tiresome, constantly reminding the reader about the rocket and that mutants are a divisive issue.  There’s a whole four-page sequence with Val Cooper that serves no purpose other than to say out loud that the X-Men are still hated and mistrusted, and for Val to give the X-Men a TV and a plane.  Also, the necessity of Kitty to “Xavier’s” plan seems arbitrary.

While I really like the homage to Giant-Sized X-Men #1 with Xavier collecting his new team, none of the characters really stand out.  Most of them do feel derivative, although that does tie into their origins, and none of them really come off as likable or menacing.  Plus Chaos, the autistic character, speaks in these one-word fragments, and I’ve never known any autistic person to do that.  Strangely it is played for comedy most of the time; Nightcrawler even mocks him for it at one point in the story.

Bachalo does a great job making the cruise ship and air battles seem frantic and chaotic.  The X-Men versus guns in the sewer feels a little forced for the sake of action, and I don’t understand how a door in the sewer leads to a vent on the surface where the X-Men can see the hole their friend was abducted in.  Peter Corbeau is pulled out from comic limbo for no other purpose then he was a scientist in that one space story in the seventies.  You know, the Phoenix Saga. 

The mystery over Xavier’s cold demeanor does work really well, and it’s about time the books actually addressed what is up with Charles.  And although I still think the Excalibur recruits feel forced onto this team, they do get some nice moments.  I enjoy the discussion of life without the X-Men where Kurt realizes he’d probably be dead.  There is also a sense of exhilaration from the team when Colossus and Nightcrawler first show up to save them. 

This issue could work a little better as a normal-sized issue.  Take away some of the exposition from the newscaster and Val Cooper, maybe a little more time for us to get to know the evil X-Men and care about them one way or the other, and this could’ve been one of the greats.  It does succeed in feeling like a new direction, it gets the characters right, and it is bookended by two solid action sequences. 

B-

Uncanny X-Men #325

Uncanny X-Men #325
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down: The X-Men are spending the day playing baseball with the cast of Generation X. Bishop steals a base, and it ends with a bunch of mutants tangled up in Skin’s skin while everyone else laughs. Wolverine shows up to mention how nice it is to see Storm smile. A portal appears on the baseball diamond, and Colossus comes through it, holding an unconscious Callisto, asking for help.

In New York, members of Gene Nation have stopped a subway full of people to use as hostages. Back at the mansion, Colossus fills in the rest of the X-Men. For some reason, Callisto passed out after she told Peter what needed to be done. A bunch of renegade Morlocks calling themselves Gene Nation are preparing to kill a lot of humans for the anniversary of the Morlock Massacre. Callisto accuses Storm of not taking her role as Morlock leader seriously enough, even though last time we saw her, Callisto had renounced her leadership so she could be pretty and have a normal life on the surface world.

Callisto uses a hologram to show the X-Men Gene Nation and explains that the Morlocks were taken to an alternate dimension where time was accelerated after Mikhail seemingly killed them all. Marrow and some others felt that the old Morlocks were weak and came back to Earth to reclaim their home and punish the humans.

Meanwhile, Gambit receives a phone call from Rogue. She tells him that they’re going to Seattle, where Gambit apparently did something really awful. Gambit tries to stop her, but she leaves the phone off the hook. Cyclops, Beast, Jean, Archangel, and Psylocke load up into the Blackbird. They’re acting as back up to the main team, but they don’t do anything else important in this issue. Archangel discusses the loss of his wings with Betsy.

At Sinister’s secret base, his assistant Threnody alerts Sinister that Gambit is on his way to Seattle just as she was ordered to do if that ever transpired. Sinister says some vague and cryptic mutterings about this being according to plan.

Wolverine, Callisto, Colossus, and Storm are the only four that Callisto’s teleporter could carry, so they are the ones searching the sewers. Callisto blames Storm for all of this, but the group is interrupted by a mangled body in front of a message for the X-Men. A new Gene Nation member named Reverb is tracking the X-Men, and Marrow is anxious to begin the fight. The X-Men are attacked by a big, strong mutant named Hemingway, who Callisto notes as having mutated recently. Vessel also shows up for the fight. While Colossus and Wolverine hold them off, Storm and Callisto continue towards the hostages.

The two Morlock leaders find the hostages escaping. One stops to fill them in, but then shoots Callisto with a gun, revealing himself to be Sack; Storm subdues him. Marrow appears and tells Storm that she was a young girl when Storm became leader of the Morlocks. Storm offered hope but never followed through on any of it, angering Marrow, who was once called Sarah. She reveals a number of hostages with bombs attached to them. The trigger has been strapped to Marrow’s heart, so Storm has to remove it before the timer reaches zero. They agree to a one-on-one duel using Marrow’s bone fragments as knives.

The mutant Reverb tries to affect the fight by attacking Storm, but Storm kills him by throwing her knives at him. Unarmed, Storm is still able to overpower Marrow, stab her, and cut out her heart to save the day.

The X-Men free the hostages and Callisto asks Colossus if he wants to go with her, but he declines. After a good-bye kiss she teleports away. Colossus decides his place is no longer with the X-Men either, so he walks away after saying good-bye to Storm. Storm agonizes over her choice, and Wolverine comforts her as they walk away.

How It Was: This issue is double-sized with a foldout cardboard cover to celebrate the 20th Anniversary of Giant-Sized X-Men #1, the issue where Wolverine, Storm, Colossus, Nightcrawler, and Banshee joined the X-Men. Thunderbird did as well, but he died after three issues, so he hardly counts. The bad news is that this month had two, two, two double-sized issues for me to review and this is the first. And of course, both issues have covers that neglect to have the titles of the comic books or their numbers on the front, so that’s real helpful to collectors and potential new fans.

As for the comic, there is a lot of space filled by baseball and later by exposition. The baseball game has some fun comments from Beast, but other than that the rest of the scene is silly, and not in a good way. The inclusion of Generation X is perplexing since they don’t do anything else for the rest of the issue even though they’ve also been fighting members of Gene Nation in their own title. At the very least they should have let Banshee go with the field team since the rest of the members are all mutants from Giant-Sized X-Men #1.

This book seems to be full of errors. Callisto’s unconscious appearance is most likely a last minute mistake that was covered with dialogue. Callisto has to note that Hemingway has mutated recently, which probably means that his design was different in Generation X. And Callisto blames Storm for neglecting the Morlocks when she did the very same thing back in her last appearance in Uncanny X-Men. None of these break the story, but it is frustrating to see so much inconsistency.

The tone suddenly shifts from light and silly in the beginning to very, very dark. All of a sudden we go from laughing at people crashing into each other on home plate to mangled bodies left as messages for the X-Men. And while the battle with Gene Nation is what you would expect, the fight between Storm and Marrow is surprisingly violent. We get the two slicing at each other with bone knives, Storm licking Marrow’s blood off of a knife (???), and Marrow getting her heart ripped out. It’s a pretty big “what the?” moment, at least until you start to think about how stupid and contrived it is to strap a bomb detonator to her heart in the first place. Most of these final scenes feel out of character for Storm, from the taunting with licking blood to the part when she tells Marrow to “get over it.” The scenes at the end showing Storm’s guilt make it clear that she was putting on a strong face, but it still reads really strangely.

While the Gene Nation members are still completely one-dimensional, Marrow does have some good moments. When she’s not being “strap a bomb to your heart” crazy, she actually comes off as a fairly sympathetic character who put her faith in Storm and was ultimately disappointed when she let the Morlocks “die.” And for all my insisting that Callisto is a big hypocrite, she does have a good point about the X-Men having forgotten about the Morlocks; after all, they’re playing a game of baseball on the anniversary of the Morlock Massacre.

It’s also nice to see Colossus back as an X-Man, even though I feel like there were still stories left to explore with him as a villain. He doesn’t do a lot except flirt with Callisto and take accusations from Wolverine, but he’s still back where he is meant to be. And speaking of Wolverine, he gets some classic lines in while fighting with Gene Nation, and he’s finally wearing his mask again.

There are some pretty good moments in this book, but you have to wade through a lot of filler to get to them. Plus Gene Nation’s origins are quite convoluted, involving interdimensional portals and different rates of time. It’s nice to have Storm in the spotlight, and it gets rid of the Morlocks for the time being, although they always come back.

C

X-Men #44

X-Men #44
Writing: Fabian Nicieza
Art: Andy Kubert

What Went Down: A mysterious armored person is standing over the unconscious body of Colossus in Antarctica. Colossus mistakes the stranger for an attacker and wonders what has become of Magneto. The mystery person blasts Peter unconscious again and hints at a former romantic connection to him.

In space, we see Xavier’s astral form breaking apart as he strains to make contact with his X-Men; this is due to an “unknown force” which I think is supposed to be the emergence of Nate Grey. Amelia Voght questions why Charles is going to all this effort, and Xavier has to explain that he is committed to the safety of his students. In case you were wondering, Cerebro is still out of commission from when Banshee destroyed it during the Phalanx story.

Bishop calls in to let Xavier know that Jean Grey and Skids have survived their reentry into Earth, but Jean’s rapport with Scott is gone. Cyclops and the rest of the Acolytes have landed in the middle of the Australian outback. The Kleinstock Brothers keep finding things to complain about, while Unuscione and Cargil are actually grateful to Cyclops for saving them. Cyclops blasts a hole in the ground to get water for them to drink. Then they begin their trek.

Later the group comes across Scanner, who has exhausted herself trying to search for signs of life; Cyclops carries her until they break for camp. Scott reassures the Acolytes that they are going to make it through this.

In Antarctica, the mystery person is dragging Colossus to Magneto’s abandoned citadel. At Xavier’s, Jean has plugged herself into Cerebro, despite Charles having claimed it was broken earlier in this issue. Charles comes up with a plan where he can use Amelia to channel his powers somehow since his physical body is what is holding him back. He also mentions that Amelia’s mist state has become her natural form, and she has to concentrate to remain solid, creating fear that she might lose her humanity. Amelia reluctantly agrees to the plan.

Back in the Outback, Scanner returns from recon, claiming to have found civilization. Cyclops blasts a hole through the mountain in front of them, and the group finds the X-Men’s old home base from when they lived in Australia. Xavier and Amelia try their physical/psionic link, but it fails. Luckily, Scott contacts them from Australia, letting them know he is all right. Scott also mentions that someone else has recently used this base, but I don’t think that this is ever brought up again.

Amelia gets angry since they risked their lives for nothing, but Xavier explains how important it is to have a cause to believe in. Amelia realizes she isn’t strong enough to sacrifice for Xavier or Magnus, so she teleports away. In Magneto’s citadel, the mystery person has placed Colossus in a healing machine of some kind. Peter wakes up and demands to know who is under the mask, and it turns out to be Calisto—the former leader of the Morlocks, asking if Peter wants to save the world.

How It Was: Andy Kubert’s back after taking a couple months off to recuperate from all of the work he had to do to help create Age of Apocalypse. The art is fine, although it’s a sharp departure from Paul Smith. Plus, there are a lot of art errors that contradict the previous issues. Colossus and Amelia are both shown wearing the wrong costumes, and it looks as if Kubert has drawn Jean Grey in Cerebro, even though it’s supposed to be broken. On the plus side, look at the cover. It’s a fantastic depiction of the best, or at least my favorite X-Man, Cyclops.

And this issue really does justice to the first X-Man as Nicieza demonstrates exactly how to make Cyclops work. He’s the man with the plan and even though he’s stuck with a team that he neither likes nor trusts, he still knows exactly how to lead them. Nicieza understands that Scott doesn’t need to be cracking jokes or barking orders; he needs to be calm, stoic, and collected. And while the others argue about their petty complaints, Cyclops gets it done. Very awesome. The rest of the Acolytes aren’t as fleshed out; the Kleinstocks come off as particularly annoying, making me wish Holocaust had killed them too.

Speaking of annoying, Amelia sure is whiny this issue. She comes off as an apathetic teenager, complaining to Xavier every time he does something because apparently caring about people is stupid. I guess it does fit in with her character, but she could tone it down a little. Plus Colossus comes off as a little hostile and jumpy.

Well, Magneto’s body has disappeared, creating a bit of mystery for a couple months, and Calisto is back in town. Even though Lobdell wrote the Last Morlock Story years ago, they are coming back again. So the X-Staff destroyed one awful group of mutants only to resurrect another. However, I like that Xavier risks his life unnecessarily to try to save one of his students, even if Lobdell has already had him do this once in X-Men Unlimited #1. This issue features fantastic characterization for Xavier and Cyclops, and legitimately feels like the end of a significant story with the destruction of the Acolytes, even though they’ll be back much later.

B+

X-Men: Omega

X-Men: Omega
Writing: Scott Lobdell and Mark Waid
Art: Roger Cruz

What Went Down: Holocaust is toying with his captive, Magneto, while his father Apocalypse watches. Apocalypse taunts his prisoner and explains the trap that has been set for his X-Men. The villains still have possession of the M’kraan Crystal, which the X-Men need to fix the time stream. Elsewhere, Angel takes the time to rescue Karma, but she apparently dies in his arms.

Blink teleports the X-Men to the pens, and they fight some soldiers. After the fight, Gambit pulls the Dark Beast out of some rubble to use him to get into Apocalypse’s base. In another part of the city, Cyclops and Jean Grey are leading the prisoners of the pens to freedom. Unknown to them, Cyclops’ jealous brother Havok is following them. At the same time, Angel flies into a defense tower carrying a load of explosives, freeing up the way for the X-Men, and making it possible for Nate Grey to escape.

The Shadow King tells Apocalypse that the southwest territories have been bombed; Apocalypse prepares for reprisals. He’s about to finish off Magneto when Nate Grey shows up and attacks. Magneto finds his helmet, and the two prepare to battle Apocalypse and Holocaust.

Blink teleports the X-Men to the chamber holding the M’kraan crystal, and another fight begins. Destiny glimpses the regular universe in the crystal and announces that she, Bishop, and Illyana are the only ones who can approach it. Holocaust and Nate fall through the ceiling, and Magneto approaches his X-Men. He gives a speech about the necessity of sacrifice and the fate of the universe. Colossus has issues with his sister potentially being sacrificed, but the X-Men begin fighting anyways.

Outside, Jean projects a telekinetic shield to try to protect the prisoners from the bombs that have been triggered by the Human governments. Wolverine, known as Weapon X, makes it through the shield with a parachute. Nate beats down Holocaust some more.

In the midst of the main battle, the Sugar Man escapes from Colossus’ boot to the M’kraan crystal, so he’ll show up later in our universe. Colossus freaks out and decides that he has to be with his sister. Iceman tries to stop him, but Peter shatters him. Gambit attacks him to hold him off. At the crystal, Destiny tells Illyana to use her powers to create a portal for Bishop to go through.

At the Human High Council in Europe, Apocalypse’s defense grid is attacking England. Magneto busts in on Apocalypse and creates a suit of armor out of stray pieces of metal. However, Magneto is forced to hesitate because Guido is holding his son. Outside, Havok attacks and kills Cyclops and Jean. Weapon X kills Havok, and then sits by Jean as she passes away. Logan is reminded of a legend about the Phoenix.

Bishop travels back to the moment right before Xavier jumped in front of Legion. He’s about to interfere when he is stopped by himself from the past.

Back in the AOA, Morph is injured, and Dark Beast makes his way to a teleportation device. Quicksilver quickly scrambles the coordinates, since Dark Beast’s destination is the crystal. Shadowcat decides to get in front of Colossus, hoping their love will stop Colossus’ rage. Instead, he accidentally kills her, and Gambit in turn kills him. Peter apologizes to his sister, but Quicksilver is forced to intervene and save Illyana from enemy guards.

Rogue uses her powers to remove Guido’s mass and rescue her son. Nate Grey attacks Apocalypse and steals a shard of the M’kraan crystal that the villain was holding. In the past, Bishop beats up his past self and tackles Legion out of the way. Bishop stabs himself with Legion’s energy blade, absorbing and redirecting the energy until it consumes Legion. Legion sees the Age of Apocalypse and apologizes, saying he only wanted to help. Legion dies, and the past X-Men are sent back to the present. Charles, Magneto, and Gabrielle forget all about the recent events in Legion Quest, although they all have a sense as if something important just occurred.

Magneto and Nate have Apocalypse on the ropes, but Holocaust interrupts the fight by shooting Nate. Nate has no choice but to stab Holocaust with the M’kraan shard, sending them both into the regular Marvel Universe. Apocalypse wonders why Magneto isn’t fighting back, but it is because he is concentrating. Magneto tears Apocalypse in half, then walks off to spend his final moments with his family before the nuclear weapons go off. He takes the time to thank Charles Xavier for changing his life.

How It Was: Well, it’s double-sized, shiny, and there’s not an advertisement to be seen in it. Nevertheless, it still feels really rushed as Lobdell tries to plow through the storylines of nine books in one single finale, plus the whole Age of Apocalypse story has to be resolved so that everything can revert back to normal next month. So this book goes at a pretty fast pace. A lot of inconsequential characters like Dazzler and Exodus completely disappear because there isn’t enough room for them, and poor Roger Cruz already has more than enough characters to draw. A lot of other characters are left up in the air; Morph gets injured, but we never see what happens to him. Nightcrawler and Jubilee get forced into the background as nothing but fighters.

All the same, there are some really awesome moments in this issue. Rather than discuss them all, because it is a really big book, I think I’ll list my favorites.

1. Colossus accidentally kills Kitty Pryde
2. Magneto rips Apocalypse in half.
3. Magneto and Nate Grey vs. Holocaust and Apocalypse.
4. Weapon X avenges Jean.
5. Nate Grey to Apocalypse, “This is for Forge!”

I will elaborate on my number one pick. I can see how many would see Colossus’ reactions as out of character, but I think that given his reactions to Illyana’s death in the Marvel Universe, his behavior isn’t that far-fetched. I mean Illyana’s death pushed Peter to join the evil Magneto’s Acolytes and later he sacrifices himself to help cure the Legacy Virus (much, much later, we’ll get to it). Plus you throw in the fact that his students all died under his care, and I think it’s perfectly natural for AOA Colossus to become overwhelmed by his emotions. And the speech he gives to Illyana as he’s dying is so well done down to the part where he wants her to stay with him, but she can’t.

Not every moment is solid. The fact is that the only way that this story could have any impact on the greater X-universe was to have some of the characters make it back to the normal universe; the ways in which these characters make it to the Marvel Universe are rather contrived, and none of them have had any groundbreaking moments in the last decade or so. Yes, X-Man had his own book for a while, but most X-collectors never really bothered with it, and it rarely affected the wider X-Men franchise.

I must say that the end is superb; I love how the panel is engulfed in white and you’re left to figure out if it’s a nuclear holocaust or reality fixing itself. And while the story doesn’t have very many ramifications for the characters, it is a well-constructed story with a solid direction that opened a lot of possibilities for writers to play with the characters and themes of the X-Men and present them in a new light.

B+

Uncanny X-Men #315

Uncanny X-Men #315
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Roger Cruz

What Went Down: We open up on an awesome, although incredibly different looking, splash of Avalon--the Acolytes’ space station base. Colossus is serving as the council for prisoner Neophyte, the Acolyte who turned on Fabian Cortez in Uncanny #300. The Acolytes want to sentence him to death for betraying them, but Colossus believes everyone should have the right to choose their destiny.

In another part of the base, Exodus is ranting to the comatose Magneto, showing that he is probably not all together there in the head. The Acolyte Scanner interrupts his rant, and Exodus threatens her for seeing the face of Magneto.

Amelia Voght is serving as the prosecutor for Neophyte’s trial. Even though she disagrees with the other Acolytes, she doesn’t trust that her decisions matter at all. Peter argues that Neophyte was really honoring Magneto in his own way, by stopping the torture of an innocent and exploring other ways of furthering mutantkind. Voght calls the boring Acolyte Milan to the stand. He uses his power to project thoughts visually (yawwnn) to show how the Acolytes first rescued Neophyte from an abandoned church before he joined the team. Some of the Acolytes start a fight when Xavier is mentioned, and Exodus uses his powers to separate them.

As the judge and jury of the trial, Exodus tells the Acolytes that he is going to discuss the evidence with Magneto. Once again, Magneto is sitting on a throne drooling, so Exodus is not exactly acting logical. Exodus returns and seems to be leaning towards executing Neophyte, but Colossus interrupts with a long diatribe. As Colossus’ words start to convince some of the Acolytes, including Voght, Exodus decides to just banish Neophyte as opposed to killing him. Exodus returns to Magneto’s room to rant some more to himself.

How It Was: This one comes straight out of left field, mostly because Lobdell doesn’t want to start a new story before two crossovers. It’s also an entire issue with no current X-Men members whatsoever. The narrow focus of just the Acolytes actually works in this issue’s favor. It is nice to see that Colossus is still the character we all know and love and joining the Acolytes hasn’t altered his personality greatly. This is a great issue for Peter; Voght and him really shine among a collection of one-dimensional Acolytes, including Neophyte. The idea that Colossus tries to incorporate Magneto’s philosophy into his own established worldview is a really interesting take on a hero turned villain. On the other hand, I feel like some of Peter’s observations about Magneto are somewhat skewed as he really gives the villain the benefit of the doubt in a lot of instances and exaggerates the villain’s tolerance for people and their intentions. There are also the beginnings of a political framework being introduced that unfortunately never really get expanded upon after this issue.

Exodus is just a really disappointing antagonist. The fact that his super villain team is just sitting around doing nothing in space shows how little there is to old crazy, powerful Exodus. He is even abusive to the other Acolytes, which creates an interesting tension where later the members feel trapped and want to rebel, but for now the Acolytes just look like morons for blindly following an even bigger moron.

In case you’re keeping track, Joe Mad is once again absent from his drawing duties, although to be fair, Kubert is also off this month to work on upcoming crossovers. Still, this is two months in a row, which isn’t a good sign.

This is actually a really interesting one-shot story that presents and analyzes the themes of the comic in an interesting way. Really it is an entire issue of characters just standing around and talking, but this issue has some great merits. This is the best-written Colossus that has appeared in a while; he’s not the broken and (rightfully) depressed sad sack. Here he is confident, righteous, and doing more than he has done in many, many issues. One to check out if you’re curious for something different than the usual.

B-