X-Men Unlimited #4

X-Men Unlimited #4

Writing: Scott Lobdell

Art: Richard Bennett

What Went Down:  Mystique kills a US General for working with the Friends of Humanity.  In a mansion in France, Graydon Creed has been living with some random woman.  The couple is interrupted by a private investigator Graydon has hired; the investigator confirms that Sabretooth and Mystique are his parents and offers to reveal the identity of his brother for more money.  Enraged, Creed beats the man, offering to spare him if he reveals the information.  After the man whispers it to Creed, Creed kills the man.  When his sugar momma demands Creed leave, Creed threatens her and mentions he has issues with being kicked out and abandoned.

At Dulles Airport, a disguised Nightcrawler scares an abusive father into being nicer to his son.  Rogue shows up and chastises him, as both mutants wonder why Forge has summoned them.  They go to Arlington Cemetery for the funeral of the murdered general.  Both notice Graydon Creed in attendance right before the priest insults the dead man and kicks over the casket.  The corpse has a bomb attached to it, and the priest is revealed to be Mystique.  Rogue gets rid of the bomb while Nightcrawler pulls Mystique from the soldiers firing on her.  Mystique punches Kurt, mentions some vague hints about his birth, and escapes.  As the guards close in on Nightcrawler, Rogue flies him off. 

Forge questions Graydon Creed about Mystique’s appearance.  After he leaves, Rogue and Kurt come out and discuss Mystique.  Forge reveals that during Mystique’s treatment, she went through his files.  Forge then tells the two X-Men that they may have a chance of reaching the good part of Mystique, although he refuses to tell Nightcrawler why.

Rogue and Nightcrawler fly to Mystique’s house in Caldecott, Mississippi.  Rogue recalls her first meeting with Mystique, before she took Rogue in and raised her.  The two split up, and Nightcrawler flashes back to a memory flirting with his foster sister Amanda Sefton. 

Creed confronts Nightcrawler and reveals they are brothers as he attacks Kurt, and that Mystique is their mother.  Graydon explains that Mystique was posing as a German Count’s wife, but was discovered when Kurt was born a mutant.  While a mob chased her, Mystique lost the baby and it was thrown over a waterfall. 

As the two brothers fight, Rogue remembers the triggering of her powers with a boy she liked named Cody.  When Cody appears in the present to comfort and taunt her, Rogue realizes it is Mystique in disguise.  Rogue wants to know if she ever knew the real Mystique.  While the two women argue, Graydon shows up with the unconscious Nightcrawler.  Mystique explains he abandoned Graydon when he turned twelve and didn’t develop mutant powers, and that he killed Kurt as an act of self-preservation.  Mystique actually turned into a villager and was the one who threw baby Nightcrawler in the waterfall. 

In the present, Mystique shoots at Graydon, who teleports.  This Graydon was Nightcrawler using an image inducer, with the real Graydon dressed in Kurt’s costume.  Creed summons an attack helicopter to kill Nightcrawler, Rogue, and Mystique.  Rogue attacks the gunship, but is forced to stop in order to save Kurt and Raven.  Mystique lets go of the cliff on purpose so Rogue will rescue Nightcrawler.  As Nightcrawler wonders why Mystique did what she did, Rogue flies him off into the sunset.

How It Was:  Continuing the trend of focusing more on villains than heroes in the last two issues, here we get the spotlight placed on Mystique.  The problem is that the Mystique in this issue is very inconsistent, going from tragic and misunderstood to completely psychotic and unremorseful in the span of mere panels.  Lobdell picks up on some vague hints Chris Claremont had put in about Mystique and Nightcrawler looking similar back in the eighties.  The revelation that the two characters were mother and son didn’t do a lot for either character.

As with every issue of Unlimited, the story is quite padded out.  The opening murder scene is seven pages just to establish Mystique killing a random general for working with the Friends of Humanity.  Many of the flashbacks also seem unnecessary; it’s good to include the scene of Rogue first meeting Mystique (Question: Why does little girl Rogue have a shotgun?), but the scene of Rogue’s powers first triggering is an unnecessary retread.  Also Nightcrawler’s flashback to the circus doesn’t do anything but establish his pattern of hitting on foster sisters (he hits on Rogue earlier in the book). 

But I’m nitpicking.  One aspect that works really well in this book is the idea that Rogue doesn’t know how to rectify the mother of her childhood to the Mystique of present day.  That’s a great angle since Rogue obviously has love for her, but doesn’t know if she was being manipulated or if Mystique really cares about her.  Nightcrawler doesn’t fair as well; he gets beat up a lot this issue, and while Mystique does sacrifice herself at the end for him, there’s every indication that she doesn’t really care about him.  Speaking of which, the end is completely absurd where Nightcrawler can’t teleport to safety and Rogue, who can lift cars and take out helicopters, can’t carry Nightcrawler and Mystique at the same time.

So the plotting is pretty scattered and drawn out, and things happen for no clear reason (why wouldn’t Forge tell Nightcrawler his relation to Mystique right there?), and Mystique and Creed both come off as homicidal maniacs as opposed to villains with believable motives.  While the main attraction is supposed to be the revelation of Nightcrawler’s mom, the real highlights involve Rogue trying to come to terms with her own feelings towards Mystique. 

Completists Only

X-Factor #130

X-Factor #130
Writing: Howard Mackie
Art: Eric Battle

What Went Down: Before I start, I just want to point out that the end of this issue is completely spoiled by the bottom left corner of the first page. If that’s not an indicator of the quality of a creative team, I don’t know what is?

Anywho, the issue starts off with Mystique performing target practice on a poster of her son Graydon Creed. Pyro is by her side, even though he was forcibly abducted in Uncanny X-Men #338. He asks her how they are going to complete their plan, and Mystique demonstrates that she has hacked her inhibitor collar to allow herself to morph into Val Cooper.

Val Cooper is at a hotel with Graydon Creed right before the election. Creed is insistent that he be allowed to perform his final speech even though he has received numerous death threats. Cooper tells him that he either has to accept X-Factor’s help or cancel the speech. The rest of the team bursts in through the window and starts searching for explosives; Creed is incredibly unhappy to see his psychotic father Sabretooth on the team. Creed’s bodyguards confront X-Factor, and Val and Forge recognize Cannonball as one of them. Forge demonstrates that Sabretooth has a collar that prevents him from getting too close to Graydon, so he reluctantly agrees.

Outside the rally, Val is ambushed by the real Val Cooper, and it is revealed that the one we’ve been following was Mystique. A group of protestors get into a riot with some of Creed’s supporters, and Mystique is able to slip away in the crowd. Val tells X-Factor to search for Mystique, and they catch her in disguise aiming a weapon at the presidential nominee. Polaris takes the gun, and Mystique is restrained and hauled away, even though she is claiming that she was trying to help.

Creed confronts his mother and tells the authorities to take her away, but the team insists on doing it themselves. In an armored truck, Mystique swears to Val that she was trying to save Creed, along with some vague mutterings about conspiracy theories in the government. Later, as Graydon Creed takes the stage, the X-Factor team spots Pyro in the crowd. Graydon Creed gets shot and incinerated. X-Factor captures Pyro and escapes, but they claim that Pyro and Mystique are innocent because their weapons turned out to be forcefield generators. Mystique even consoles Pyro by saying that they tried. On a computer screen, a mysterious text message appears claiming that Creed was the first, but Mystique is next.

How It Was: With the month of the actual election already past in the real world, the X-offices had to decide where exactly they were taking the “Creed runs for president” plotline. I can understand not wanting to have a fundamentalist racist as president of the Marvel Universe. This however stands as a good example of a neat idea that was not thought through all the way. While the fate of Creed is shocking, and it is understandable how the death of a presidential candidate would fuel anti-mutant sentiments, it is clear that the resolution of this thread hasn’t been created yet. So once again we get a couple of months of people talking about the assassination like it’s the major direction of all the X-books, and the influence of every villain, before it’s completely abandoned and forgotten about. Yes, it’s this old song again. If you’re curious, the identity of the assassin is actually revealed in Fabian Nicieza’s X-Men Forever mini-series from around 2000 or 2001. But enough about the ill preparedness of the X-offices, lets get onto the quality of the issue.

This is one of those events that should have happened in an X-Men book, but was probably editorially demanded to boost sales of the flagging X-Factor book. Not only does X-Factor come off looking really awful in this issue, there are a number of irregularities with what has already been established in the X-Men books. Uncanny #338 saw Pyro running for his life from “her”, who was obviously meant to be Mystique. This issue finds them working toward their goal mutually, and without the aid of Avalanche, who had been mentioned previously. Sam Guthrie does appear, but only in a one panel cameo as he’s recognized by Forge and Val; he literally has no impact on the story after months of set up, which couldn’t have been the initial plan. Realistically he gets pushed to the side because X-Factor has to be assigned to Creed at the last minute for this plot to make sense in an issue of X-Factor.

Then there is just the sheer ridiculousness of the plot structure. Mystique and Pyro are actually trying to save Creed, so they decide to hide in the crowd with force field weapons that look exactly like guns, and Mystique thinks the best way to accomplish her goal is to destroy what little trust her handlers have put in her and do everything herself. After she’s caught, she makes a halfhearted attempt to explain away the flaws in her plan as a contingency against some vast conspiracy, but what really comes off as stupid is how the members of X-Factor keep interrupting her as she’s trying to explain. And why did she even bother to take Val’s place in the first place? It’s just really silly how the script tries to add in all these twists that make no sense whatsoever. Even the sheer fact that the government would assign a mutant super hero team with two former terrorists on it to defend a presidential candidate strikes as pretty dumb. Yes that does fit into the vast conspiracy theory, but you’d think that Val or Forge might question this a little harder.

I didn’t read a lot of X-Factor during this period, but I have to say that this roster isn’t very interesting at all. Polaris seems to have nothing to do now that Havok has left the team. Forge and Val seem to have the same personality, while Wild Child just grunts a lot. Sabretooth does have some funny scenes where he mocks his son by pretending to be a proud father, but once again I have to question his purpose on a government super hero team. Mystique is super stoic, but you’d think she’d be a little more aggressive about saving her son if that was the initial storyline.

This is a legitimately interesting course for the X-Books to take; the execution is just forced and deviates too much from the initial setup. Worse is that the story feels like it has no real direction as red herring after red herring is introduced to try to build on the mystery of the assassin. And while this was a perfect opportunity for the Marvel offices to get people interested in X-Factor, I can’t say it does a very good job at that either. The characters just don’t do anything to make the audience care about them in this issue, and they don’t really have anything to do in the actual story. Overall it’s disappointing.

D-

Uncanny X-Men #340

Uncanny X-Men #340
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down: Bobby Drake’s father is in the hospital after being beaten up by members of the Friends of Humanity. Bobby is sitting alone with him in the hospital room when Storm shows up and asks him what happened. Elsewhere Cannonball is still undercover within Creed’s campaign. He tries to visit Creed, but two hulking bodyguards prevent him. Just as Sam is leaving, Creed shows up and invites him into his office.

Storm and Iceman have moved onto the roof of the hospital where Bobby explains how he discovered his father. Creed’s campaign members were going to catch a jet when Creed asked Bobby to help solve a problem. Because Creed uses Iceman’s real name “Robert” it’s an indication that something is wrong, and sure enough Drake finds his father badly beaten in a clearing in the woods. Bobby feels guilty, and wonders why his father didn’t give them any information, to which Storm replies there is only one answer.

Outside Creed’s headquarters, Creed asks Sam about his father. Guthrie describes his father as hardworking and loving. Then he asks about Creed’s dad, knowing that Graydon’s father is the villain Sabretooth. Creed crushes the glass he was drinking from and just claims that his dad was a disappointment.

In Mr. Drake’s hospital room, Gambit is watching over the man. Mr. Drake asks him why Remy fights for mutant rights, and Gambit replies it’s for the same reason he did. Outside a van pulls up at the hospital. Human extremist soldiers are preparing to kill all the mutants that they can detect. Wolverine opens the trunk door and appears to jump in and kill all of them.

Storm talks about how she wonders if her parents would’ve approved of her lifestyle as a super hero; she wishes that her parents were still alive. In a bar, Jean telepathically contacts Cannonball to tell him that Iceman’s cover was blown; Sam is determined to stay until the end. Back at the hospital, Bobby tells Storm that he’s taking a leave of absence from the X-Men to be with his father. The X-Men leave and he tells his father that he loves him.

How It Was: This is easily the best issue of either X-Men title in a very long time. It’s also some of the best material Iceman has been given in a very long time, especially since it has nothing to do with guilt over how his powers developed. Iceman gets a very relatable storyline involving his father getting put in the hospital, and Lobdell handles it perfectly. Yes it’s still a little contrived that Mr. Drake has had this eleventh hour turn of conscience, but it is justified well as an understanding that even mutants have families.

All the characters talk about their fathers, and while it should come off as corny, it doesn’t. Storm gets a rare sensitive moment talking about her thoughts about her dead parents, and even Cannonball and Creed share just enough to show how their fathers have impacted their lives. This just works as a quiet, contemplative issue that places the focus squarely on characterization. Also Wolverine’s part works perfectly with the mislead that this quiet, contemplative mood is about to be shattered by human bigots, but than at the last minute Wolverine just kills them all. It’s cathartic for the reader because it’s alluded that these are the same people responsible for beating up Mr. Drake, and it’s also just an undeniably cool moment of Logan acting tough.

What isn’t really working is the overall direction of the story. Cannonball and Iceman’s infiltrations haven’t turned up any information at all, and they never will. I do like how Creed’s asking about Cannonball’s father also works as a thinly veiled threat, but it doesn’t make up for the fact that this subplot is a waste of the character and nothing ever really comes of it. This is Scott Lobdell at his best, which he hasn’t been at since he took over both books again. All the heroes are warm, familiar, and handled in a mature, realistic, and very human way. Highly recommended.

A

X-Men #59

X-Men #59
Writing: Scott Lobdell and Ralph Macchio
Art: Andy Kubert

What Went Down: Cyclops is in a near-empty theater watching Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. Instead of drawing scenes from the movie, the art department has decided to Photoshop screen shots of the movie onto the screen. Jean shows up and surprises Scott, even though he knows that she’s a telepath. Although the theater is empty, someone tells them to be quiet. Jean asks him about Alex, but he just wants to watch the movie.

Back at the Institute, Bishop is getting beat up again by the second guest hero in two issues. Hercules has thrown Bishop through the wall and seems confused as to how his greeting could have hurt Bishop that much. Beast explains the Onslaught storyline to Hercules, and Bishop threatens to beat up Herc, but is held back by Beast. Hercules has stopped by looking for Quicksilver because he wants to team up with the remaining Avengers, since he has been condemned to Earth by his father Zeus.

Quicksilver is outside wondering how he’s going to face his daughter and tell her that her mother is dead. Wolverine gives him a pep talk about being strong for her like Crystal and Wanda would have wanted. Quicksilver runs into Joseph, who is busy building a machine to block Rogue’s powers. Quicksilver yells at him for not realizing all the lives he’s ruined, and then runs away.

Back in the theater, Scott tells Jean how he always liked movies as a way to escape from the reality of being a sickly orphan whose brother was adopted. The two kiss each other. At Creed’s campaign headquarters, Iceman reads a fax that says his father was arrested after Trish Tilby’s talk show and refused to give his name. Cannonball walks in on Creed talking on the phone; he claims he was discussing strategy with his parents. Sam knows who his parents are so he wonders what Creed meant. Outside, Bobby asks Carly if she thinks Creed is going to be elected. Carly responds, “What is, is,” which is the motto of the Askani in the future.

As Quicksilver and Hercules depart, Joseph flies up to the plane and apologizes to Quicksilver, who responds that maybe someday it will mean something. Hercules cautions the dangers of holding a grudge, but Pietro is distant. Cyclops and Jean exit the theater and he wonders if it’s silly that he wasted the day watching movies. He realizes that the fate of the X-Men is up to him, but he’s hopeful because Jean is by his side.

How It Was: Alright, Hercules stops by the mansion for no good reason other than to force a recap of the Onslaught storyline and write Quicksilver out of the book. Hercules comes off as a bit of a tool here, throwing Bishop through a wall and then acting surprised by it. Quicksilver gets some nice development, although it’s a couple of months too late in my opinion. Shouldn’t he have gone to visit his daughter many issues ago? Wolverine’s speech to Pietro feels a lot more like common sense than pearls of wisdom, but how else can Lobdell explain why Quicksilver is still around unless he goes the route of fear.

The Creed storyline is still around, and a whole lot of nothing is still happening there. The reveal that Carly Alverez might be an Askani from the future is interesting, but like so many things in this era, it is totally forgotten about later. Cyclops’ scenes are an unexpected choice. There’s nothing really special about his interactions with Jean, but it’s nice to see him acknowledging the weight of being in charge of the X-Men in the Professor’s absence.

At this point it’s been three months since Onslaught wrapped up, and it still feels like nothing significant has happened at all. Instead of following up on Archangel’s transformation or Havok’s terrorist activity, we’re left with the very boring Creed storyline, and Hercules’ unnecessary visit. This is just filler until somebody can come up with a proper direction for the books to take, and it’s a shame because there are so many possible directions. Very weak plotting, and Macchio’s script can’t compare to Lobdell’s normally insightful character interaction.

D

Uncanny X-Men #339

Uncanny X-Men #339
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Adam Kubert and Cedric Nocon

What Went Down: Spider-Man (the Ben Reilly Spider-Man, that is) shows up at the mansion at the middle of the night and is attacked by Bishop. Because this Spider-Man was a clone, he doesn’t recognize a lot of the characters’ changes, and he calls Jean Marvel Girl. Spidey has showed up to warn the X-Men that Jameson is digging around about Graydon Creed, and he might be in danger.

At X-Factor headquarters in Virginia, Mystique is watching Graydon Creed on the news and contemplating killing him to protect mutantkind, even though he is her son. She recognizes Iceman in one of the shots, from the back of his head no less, and announces that this changes everything.

At JFK airport, the X-Men have decided to send the Beast on the plane in order to watch over Jameson without raising suspicion. Of course he’s recognized by Jameson, who is excited that he must be getting close. To be fair, Cyclops is also on the plane and remains undercover. In the Blackbird, Joseph has been trying to understand the history of the X-Men and asks about the connection between Cable and Cyclops.

In a hotel room, reporter Nick Bandouveris has just discovered files proving that Graydon Creed’s parents were Sabretooth and Mystique. Back on the X-Jet, Joseph tries to synthesize and paraphrase the history of Cyclops and Cable, much to the amusement of Storm. On the plane, a mutant telepath from Havok’s Brotherhood of Mutants tells the passengers to remain calm and buckle their seats. Havok rips off the roof of the plane, and Jameson asks what he is doing. What is Havok’s reason for attacking? He is upset that Jameson is investigating Creed, because he doesn’t want it to look like mutants need help. No really…that’s his reason for trying to kill Jameson.

Cyclops blasts Havok to establish to the reader that their powers cancel each other out. Cyclops instead blasts Havok’s anti-gravity generator, and they both fly out the plane. Cyclops asks his brother what is wrong, and Havok says some cryptic things about finally being in control. Lobdell tries to establish Havok’s history of being mind controlled multiple times as motivation for his frustration with Xavier’s methods. Meanwhile, Joseph stops the plane from crashing.

The Brotherhood plane fires on Joseph, but he is able to shoot it down. Havok activates a teleport machine and leaves Cyclops to die, but Storm rescues him in the nick of time. Joseph lands the plane at an airport, and Jameson recognizes him as Magneto. Joseph contemplates how much he enjoyed saving the plane.

At the same time, Nick is waiting for Jonah, who has been delayed by the plane crash. Bastion shows up, kills Nick, and steals the files because Graydon Creed is still valuable to Zero Tolerance.

How It Was: This is an odd one, but most of it has nothing to do with Scott Lobdell. See at the time in X-Factor, Havok had left to join the Dark Beast because he was brainwashed. After Dark Beast was defeated during Onslaught, the writer of X-Factor set up Havok as a permanent villain. Initially he was written as insane, later it’s established that Havok just wants to save mutantkind with a more active stance than the X-Men, and finally it’s established that he was undercover. Either way, it is hard to reconcile later stories with this portrayal of Havok, since at this time all his appearances were so inconsistent. Lobdell tries his best, using Havok’s numerous times mind controlled as a kind of internal motivation, but really this is just silly. All Havok does is complain about control while he plummets out a plane, and his reason for attacking Jameson in the first place is absolutely absurd.

Spider-Man’s appearance is also kind of silly. We get the traditional heroes misunderstanding fight, followed by Spidey just delivering the plot to the X-Men. Isn’t this the kind of thing that, I don’t know, Iceman could have picked up on to give him something to do for his assignment—to give it a purpose. It is nice that they acknowledge how long it’s been since the X-Men and Spider-Man teamed up, but other than that these scenes are kind of a waste.

Joseph actually gets a few more good scenes. It’s nice to see him get the opportunity to save actual people for a change, and it’s also amusing to see him poke fun at the sheer impenetrability that is X-Men canon by way of using Cable and Cyclops as an example. I do feel like his debut to the world should affect the team more; after all, Jameson brings up the point about Magneto being bad PR, but nothing ever comes of it. The subplot with the reporter goes absolutely nowhere, other than to show that Bastion isn’t a nice guy, and I’m pretty sure that a lot of people already knew who Creed’s parents were, including the X-Men.

While this issue continues the Jameson subplot, nothing really compelling is going on here. Jameson claims he’s getting close to a discovery, but if it’s one that readers already know, then what’s the point? All of this is going to be made moot in a couple of issues anyways when Creed dies, but more on that later. This is just an odd one, with an odd villain who has odd motivations that never quite add up. Some good stuff for Joseph, though.

D+

X-Men #58

X-Men #58
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Bernard Chang

What Went Down: Storm is down in the sewer visiting the graves of the Morlocks on the anniversary of the Morlock Massacre. She finds a number of candles laid out and wonders who has done this. She’s surprised to see Gambit paying his respects, especially since he wasn’t an X-Man during the event. Also, there appears to be grass in the sewer where the Morlocks are buried. Gambit mistakes Storm for an attacker and throws some charged cards at her, then apologizes. When asked why he is there, Gambit just tells her that he feels badly for them.

Trish Tilby is interviewing Graydon Creed on her news show. Creed takes time to thank Drake Roberts, really Iceman, for his contributions to the campaign. Trish asks Creed about his hate speech, but he brushes it off as distortion from the liberal media. He frames himself as a champion, when suddenly Iceman’s father stands up in the crowd and calls Creed out for his prejudices. Bobby feels pride that his bigoted father would take the time to stand up for mutants.

At the mansion, Joseph flies through Rogue’s window while she is sleeping. Joseph insists that she come to the sub-basement with him, but she wants to get dressed first. Outside, Bishop and Wolverine are sitting by a fire. Bishop wonders what he should do next since he has fulfilled his ultimate goal of discovering and defeating the X-traitor. Wolverine tells him he just has to live, when they both notice Gambit staring into the distance. Gambit attacks Joseph; Joseph tries to explain that he may’ve found a way to cure Rogue’s powers, but Gambit insists it will just lead to disappointment. The two fight for a couple of pages before Rogue breaks them up and chastises them for acting jealous. Rogue flies away, and Gambit and Joseph make up.

We end on a scene with J. Jonah Jameson’s wife Marla telling him to stop working and go to bed. Outside the office we see that Havok is observing Jameson with intentions to kill him.

How It Was: Well, this is mostly a filler issue. Probably the most significant event is the revelation of Gambit showing his respects for the Morlock Massacre. Since the last anniversary was in Uncanny #325 thirteen months ago, I don’t know how that works in Marvel time. Still this is a pretty big clue that Gambit was somehow involved when he worked for Sinister. While the scene of the graves underground in the sewer is a little absurd, it works really well as a nice visual. And it is nice to see Storm acknowledge her failures with the Morlocks.

The rest isn’t quite as interesting. Iceman is apparently watching to see if Creed does something illegal, but that doesn’t explain why he’s helping Creed. Seriously, Creed calls Bobby his best volunteer, so what is Bobby doing to earn this title? Other than that it’s more of the same from Creed. I have to say that a lot of the dialogue does feel a lot more relevant in post 9/11 America. Seeing a conservative politician justifying racial profiling and speculating on the fears and paranoia of regular Americans, all while blaming the “liberal media” for calling him a fear monger, feels very familiar in a world of Tea Party politics and “Ground Zero” Mosque distortion. Having Mr. Drake come to the defense of mutants is okay, and he draws some good parallels, but it comes completely out of nowhere. I mean Bobby’s dad hasn’t been in the book since Uncanny X-Men #319; we’re at Uncanny #339 at this point, and that isn’t even including the Age of Apocalypse issues. So we’re picking up on a two-year-old side-character arc with absolutely no buildup… fantastic.

The fight between Gambit and Joseph is just weird and poorly handled. It seems obvious that Gambit is jealous, and emotional from visiting the Morlock graves, but he still comes off as a jerk to a guy who didn’t do anything wrong and is trying to help the woman he loves. Gambit’s portrayal towards Joseph is so inconsistent in the X-titles; sometimes he’s telling Joseph to forget the sins of the past and that redemption is possible, while other times he’s just like, “Hey, you were Magneto! Blah, blah, blah!” It’s actually a cool looking fight, but there is no emotional investment since there isn’t any decent motivation behind it.

Bernard Chang fills in this month. His style is a little more cartoony than usual, but it’s okay. He does accidentally draw regular Wolverine when he should be drawing mutated troll-Wolverine, and he insists on putting both Storm and Rogue in midriff tops, which is quite unnecessary. Rogue’s outfit is especially absurd since she insisted on getting dressed and then puts on fewer clothes than she had on in bed, with a half-shirt and short shorts.

The X-Men books have felt like filler since the end of Onslaught, and this continues the trend. Yes, once again the final issue sets up the next issue of Uncanny, but that’s about it. I can’t say that I really care about anything going on at this point, and a lot of the character motivations feel off to me.

D-

Uncanny X-Men #338

Uncanny X-Men #338
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira and Salvador Larroca

What Went Down: Archangel is laid up in the fetal position on the floor in pain. He is visited by Ozymandias, servant of Apocalypse. Ozymandias explains that Warren’s transformation into Archangel was only the beginning of Apocalypse’s greater plan. As Warren screams, his metal wings shatter, revealing his original organic feather wings.

In the Danger Room the X-Men are running tests on Joseph that involve measuring his responses to a simulation of the original X-Men battling Magneto. Joseph is taken aback by the old Magneto’s anger, but he has no connection to it, just emptiness. Jean takes this as a good sign, but Joseph worries that he may repeat his sins if he cannot remember them. Joseph asks Scott and Jean why the X-Men have taken him in after he has spent so many years trying to kill them as Magneto. Gambit and Jean explain that Xavier instilled in them the belief that no one is beyond redemption.

Psylocke takes the time to show up by teleporting through the shadows. Since she’s never done this before, all of the other X-Men are surprised, but she doesn’t seem to understand. She tells the X-Men that Archangel is missing and shows them one of the feathers that she found.

Warren finds himself drawn to a church in Brooklyn for reasons beyond his understanding. Inside the church, the Legacy-infected Pyro is in a confessional talking to a priest about needing to warn someone about a mysterious woman.

At a Graydon Creed rally in San Diego, Iceman, aka Robert Drake, has infiltrated Creed’s staff under the alias…sigh, Drake Roberts. He encounters J.Jonah Jameson of the Daily Bugle who tells him off for having his candidate prey on people’s fears and prejudices for votes. Drake is suitably impressed with Jameson and runs into another campaign employee, Carly Alverez. She introduces Iceman to Samson Guthry, who is really the X-Man Cannonball aka Sam Guthrie…groan.

The X-Men are assembled in the Blackbird on their way to help Warren, who bursts out of the now-flaming church’s window carrying the priest. His wings surprise all the X-Men, but they don’t have time to question him. Pyro has lost control of his powers because of the Legacy Virus. Joseph uses his powers to restrain Pyro in metal, and threatens to crush him if he does not stop. Wolverine scolds Joseph for threatening someone with a terminal disease. Pyro tries to explain about a group that has big plans, but the ground sucks him up, most probably because of the mutant Avalanche. The X-Men ponder Pyro’s fate, and the priest chimes in that he has finally found peace. Archangel worries about why he has his old wings back and how this plays into Apocalypse’s plans.

How It Was: Tell me if you’re sick of having me write this, but here we have another potentially interesting plotline that gets all but abandoned completely. I can respect that Lobdell is trying to do something different with a character that hasn’t had the spotlight all that much. Going off the setup from the end of Onslaught of a potential Apocalypse story, this seemed at the time that it might be going somewhere pretty good. But it doesn’t, and the plot point is all but dropped until the 2000s in the new X-Force series. Oh well. The overt symbolism of the church doesn’t really help matters that much; we get it, he’s an angel, he’s reborn, yadda yadda yadda. But there is an interesting bit with Pyro that sets up some future storylines…in X-Factor. Yes this a period of time where events were happening in the completely wrong X-books, as if you couldn’t tell by stories like the Beast being rescued in X-Factor during Onslaught.

Speaking of which, the Graydon Creed subplot has taken a turn for the stupid with Iceman and Cannonball infiltrating under the stupidest aliases in comics’ history. Spider-Man’s Jameson is still hanging around for some reason decrying the tactics of Graydon Creed. I get that Jameson’s character is supposed to have a lot of integrity when he’s not dealing with his most-hated Spider-Man, but is he really the right choice to be preaching for tolerance and open-mindedness? Also, it’s a little vague what Cannonball and Iceman are supposed to be doing. Are they protecting Creed, trying to dig up dirt, sabotaging the campaign? They just don’t seem to have any purpose. And I’m pretty sure that the X-Men already know that Graydon Creed is the son of Sabretooth and Mystique, so isn’t it about time to start making that information known?

The fight with Pyro is okay, if brief. I like that Joseph uses less than kosher methods to get Pyro to stop, even if he was bluffing, but it feels really out of character for Wolverine to be the one chastising him. Psylocke’s new powers are well-handled, but the thought of more changes to Psylocke makes me want to jump off a bridge; I’m not excited for this at all. This is a really great issue for Joseph and the rest of the X-Men as far as building him up as a believable member of the team. While Rogue’s absence is strange, I like seeing him interact with the other members, and it is interesting to see him interact with his own dark history. This is par for the course for a Scott Lobdell comic; the character work is great, but the plot structure leaves a lot to be desired as most of it goes nowhere or becomes forgotten.

B-

X-Men #57

X-Men #57
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Andy Kubert

What Went Down: In Cerebro, which I thought was still damaged but whatever, Xavier is asking the computer to locate himself. Because Xavier no longer has powers the computer cannot detect him. Xavier has Cerebro delete all files on Professor X, including the ones in Massachusetts, Muir Isle, and the Mutant Underground. The mansion is still fairly damaged and Xavier reflects on the destruction while looking at old photos of the original X-Men.

The doorbell rings and Cyclops answers it to find Val Cooper standing there. Cyclops asks about his brother, but Havok is still missing after turning evil. She has actually come to take Professor X into custody. Cyclops, Wolverine, and Bishop are not eager to allow that. They walk past Iceman and Cannonball, who are watching video of Graydon Creed’s speeches in preparation to go undercover in his camp. Cyclops reasserts that Xavier isn’t going anywhere, but Storm shows up to explain that Cooper is right because no one can guarantee that something like Onslaught will never happen again.

Outside in Washington Square Park, Beast is enjoying a beautiful day while using an image inducer to hide his appearance. A young child runs by pretending to be a mutant monster, which spoils Hank’s good mood. Beast is meeting up with his ex-girlfriend Trish Tilby. It seems that during his time spent as a captive of Dark Beast, Hank realized that Trish was the love of his life. Even though he felt betrayed by the Legacy story, he realized he overreacted. They embrace, even though she doesn’t give him a definite answer.

Back at the mansion, Jean shows up and tells the team that she agrees with turning Xavier over, since she was in Xavier’s mind while he was being influenced by Onslaught and did not enjoy it one bit. Val turns the TV to the news to show the destruction to the city and the vigils people are giving for the Avengers and the Fantastic Four. This goes a long way toward proving her point.

In Manhattan, J. Jonah Jameson thinks back to when he saw Storm and Cannonball during the beginning of the Onslaught event. Bastion shows up to their meeting and tells Jameson that he should stop the inquiries he is making. Jameson tells him not to bother intimidating him. Bastion threatens that he knows a lot about the publisher, so Jameson throws his wallet at him to prove his point.

Back at the mansion Joseph shows up to weigh in on the debate. He thinks that they are seeking to punish Xavier for something he did not do. Val doesn’t recognize Joseph. Quicksilver also chimes in with his opinion. Xavier shows up to quell the debate and agrees to turn himself over to learn more about the threat he represents. Joseph feels guilty because once again he is to be left blameless, but Xavier insists that it is a second chance for him. He gives a speech thanking the X-Men for their loyalty and patience, but says he owes it to the perished heroes to do what he feels is best. Back at Archangel’s loft, Psylocke finds it empty. When she searches for Warren, all she finds are feathers.

How It Was: Well after the X-Men got their crossover stolen from them by the other Marvel Heroes, it left them without much of a direction to go in. Plus afterwards, Scott Lobdell was once again left with two monthly X-Men titles to fill. He goes the understandable route of having the books basically make up one bi-weekly story in individual increments. Fair enough. This issue is spent dealing with what should happen to Professor X after Onslaught. This is a fair question and Lobdell uses all the characters to cover just about every possible side of the debate. While there are different factors to consider, it basically boils down to the potential threat of Xavier versus how he was not purposefully responsible for the creation of Onslaught. Of course this means that once again we have an issue that is light on action. That’s okay, since Onslaught took forever, but Andy Kubert does feel the necessity to throw in some overwrought action poses of the X-Men acting hostile towards Val Cooper.

The Beast stuff is okay; it’s nice that Lobdell is still following up on his long captivity; it’s just that his relationship with Trish never really goes anywhere. It is yet another example of an X-Men subplot that seemed better in hindsight but never really developed. The sequences with Jameson and Bastion are just plain weird; I still can’t understand what he’s doing in this series, especially since Cannonball and Iceman are getting ready to go undercover. That seems redundant as far as looking through Creed’s dirty laundry goes.

Val Cooper carries the issue as the realist who hates what she’s doing but knows that it’s the right thing. Her use of the news allows a nice glimpse of the effects of Onslaught, and it’s cool to see her stand her own against the likes of Wolverine. It’s a shame that Kubert drew her hair wrong and it had to be covered up with a dialogue balloon about the summer frizzes, but oh well. Xavier also shines in this issue with his speech at the end; it’s nice to see him jump at the chance to have purpose again after losing his powers. I don’t really understand the point of deleting all his files, maybe something Lobdell was going to build on? But it’s nice to see one last issue show how important Professor X is to the X-Men before he’s shipped out of the book.

B

Uncanny X-Men #337

Uncanny X-Men #337
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down: Wolverine starts off the issue outside in the rain trying to give Professor X a much-needed pep talk. Xavier blames himself for Onslaught and the death of the all the Avengers and Fantastic Four. Wolverine tells Charles that he shares the blame, since Xavier was influenced by Magneto because he was reacting to Wolverine’s loss of adamantium. Wolverine sympathizes with Xavier’s condition, even though Charles insists that their losses are nothing alike.

In Central Park, site of the final battle with Onslaught, Bastion is surveying the crater where Onslaught blew up. Presidential Candidate Graydon Creed is also there, blaming mutants for the tragedy and using it as a springboard for his campaign. Peter Parker, aka Spider-Man, feels disgusted as he is forced to take pictures of Creed while he rants. At the Daily Bugle, J. Jonah Jameson and Robbie Robertson are discussing Creed’s campaign. Robbie thinks that Creed is a lowbrow politician that will say anything to get elected, but Jameson insists that he sells papers and may be the biggest story of the year.

At the X-Mansion, Cyclops shuts off his alarm clock by destroying it with an optic blast. He realizes he overreacted and reflects on how tense life has been for the X-Men. Beast surprises Cyclops in the bathroom causing him to drop his glasses and let loose another blast. Beast brings up the fact that Cyclops never once attacked the imposter Beast while he was being held captive. Scott apologizes, but Beast admits that he had been absorbed in his lab work for the most part. Cyclops gets Beast out of the bathtub, only to have Iceman trick them both into falling back in. Cyclops blasts the mirror and reflects a shot that hits Bobby.

Jean is making breakfast for all of the X-Men. Quicksilver is sitting with her; he is staying with the X-Men while he mopes about the death of his wife Crystal and sister the Scarlet Witch. Psylocke shows up, but tells Jean that Archangel isn’t feeling well. Quicksilver comments on how distant Betsy seems.

Bastion enters the secret base of Operation Zero Tolerance. His assistant Harper gives him an update, but shapeshifts into Bastions form to give it. Bastion slaps him and tells him to get back to work. Wolverine gives Xavier a speech about how important he is to everyone, but Charles insists on staying outside. The rest of the X-Men gather for breakfast. Gambit asks about Joseph, who went out with Rogue because he did not feel comfortable with the other X-Men. Wolverine comes in from the rain and tells everyone that Xavier isn’t coming. The team sits down to enjoy the meal together.

How It Was: It’s one of Lobdell’s famous after-crossover epilogues, and this one is pretty solid. As usual it’s a nice quiet issue where different characters take time to process the events of the crossover while the writers set up some new storylines for later down the road. Given the nature of the end of Onslaught, nobody really knows how to act and everyone is on edge. It’s good to see Wolverine reach out to Xavier (even if it is the goofy looking troll-Wolverine) and draw a number of parallels between the two, and Joe Mad draws a great rainy morning. On top of that, the cover for this issue is easily one of Madureira’s best and most appropriate covers ever.

The scenes with Cyclops, Beast, and Iceman feel pretty forced, but whereas that would normally be a negative in a comic, it actually works well here. The fact is that everyone is so tense, and the heroes are just looking for a way to deal with their issues and just enjoy each other’s company again. Beast especially has just gone through this terrible ordeal, and it’s clear he doesn’t really have anyone to blame or anyway to really deal with it when everyone else is dealing with the loss of the heroes. Maybe it’s just me, but the tone feels just right, with characters like Iceman and Gambit going out of their way to try to be silly and funny. We also get subplot building with Psylocke’s personality, but that doesn’t really go anywhere, and haven’t we done enough with Psylocke’s weird personalities of the week?

As for the subplot building, they are three fold: there’s Graydon Creed’s presidential candidacy, Bastion’s buildup towards Operation Zero Tolerance, and a weird one involving J. Jonah Jameson’s investigation into Creed, and later Bastion. I say weird because it involves a lot of Spider-Man characters appearing in X-Men, but they never actually crossover. In fact, #346 ends up just starring Spider-Man for the whole issue, but we’ll have more on that later.

The fact is that because Lobdell is once again writing both X-Men titles, we’re going into a period of quality that was about as good as before Mark Waid showed up i.e. not very good. This period lasts for about a year, and unfortunately all of these plot lines sort of fizzle out or abruptly end. There’s also Joseph, the new X-Man who was once Magneto to deal with, so that’s kind of interesting. I just want you to brace yourselves for some comics that are not among Lobdell’s best. Still, this one is pretty good and perfectly captures a shell-shocked family trying to return to life before the trauma. Xavier’s reactions feel quite genuine, and it’s nice to see all of the other X-Men going out of their ways to help each other.

B+

Uncanny X-Men #299

Uncanny X-Men #299
Writer: Scott Lobdell
Artist: Brandon Peterson

What Went Down: First it’s time to catch up with Forge. He’s out in Kuwait exploring the remains of Asteroid M for the U.S., specifically Henry Peter Gyrich. They come across an empty Magneto shaped shell inside the throne room, so Forge logically concludes that the Master of Magnetism is alive and well.

Down at the New York ABC News studio, Professor X is preparing to go on TV in an attempt to cool mutant/human tension after the Acolyte attack on the school last issue. Jean is with him for moral support. The Professor is appearing on TV with Senator Kelly, who is concerned about the threat posed by mutants, and in his first appearance ever, human supremacist Graydon Creed, the leader and face of the hate group known as the Friends of Humanity.

Over in an orphanage, Archangel is spending time with Teddy, the autistic potential mutant from last issue. He carries the sleeping boy to bed, and then meets an open-minded nun who complements him on his bravery and compassion.

During the debate, Xavier and Kelly find that they share similar views, while Creed pretty much embarrasses himself. In an unknown location, the Upstarts are watching the proceedings. Cortez reveals that Creed is a member of the group, and we get to meet the “leader” of the Upstarts’ game, the Gamemaster. The Gamemaster also reveals that he knows that Fitzroy has been grooming another member to join the group, which he allows.

At the X-mansion, Illyana has a bad dream and gives a Valentine to her brother, Colossus; it’s very sweet. Also she has a cough, which will turn out to be significant later.

The Beast is also invited to speak on TV and uses his time to blatantly insult Creed and call him out as a racist. The Gold Team and Charlotte Jones are watching the debate at Harry’s Hideaway. Bishop notices a waitress who looks familiar, which should be impossible since he’s from the future. The subplot gets resolved in three years time, within the other X-Men title, so don’t hold your breath on this one. Storm makes a toast that lets us know Sharon Freidlander died in the last issue. Sadsies.

After the broadcast, Kelly and Xavier exchange complements. One of Kelly’s aides reveals himself telepathically to Jean; the aide is Noah Dubois of Landau, Luckman, and Lake—a group that is central to the Deadpool series years later. Outside, Cyclops meets up with Xavier and Jean and informs them that they found the Acolytes hideout.

How It Was: Well, it’s the central theme of the series being debated for an issue, occasionally interrupted by subplots that are either being initiated or furthered. The debate is actually more interesting than it has any business of being. Xavier’s media canonization after the assassination attempt in X-Cutioner’s Song is an interesting development for the character. Kelly as a moderate with realistic concerns about mutant threats, as opposed to the traditional genocidal zealots, is fairly refreshing. And the appearance of the Beast adds some welcomed humor and breaks up the monotony of the scene. The only misstep is the introduction of Graydon Creed, who is built up as being a charismatic and compelling speaker, but in actuality is just an idiot who bats around unfounded accusations and is made a fool of by the Beast. His central argument always just boils down to “Kill all the mutants!” As far as threats go, Creed doesn’t rate anywhere near human X-opponents such as William Stryker or Bolivar Trask or even Robert Kelly.

There are quite a few additional scenes to cover in this issue. The Colossus and Illyana scene is nice enough, even if it only exists to fill readers in on what happened in X-Men #17-19; however, the setup for the Legacy Virus is nice and subtle. The Upstarts scene is completely forgettable, mostly because the entire Upstarts plotline is about to completely fall out of the X-books after another arc in X-Men and another arc in Uncanny. Even without that fact, the plot is clearly getting too convoluted as more characters are added to the ranks, and the group’s purpose in turn becomes vaguer. As for the Gold Team, their interactions are interesting, if mundane. The thread about Bishop and the waitress gets forgotten for so long, and the actual resolution comes out of nowhere, that it’s best to just forget it until we come back to it later.

Brandon Peterson has a weak day on art for this issue; he seems to struggle with drawing so many panels involving three white men in suits sitting and talking and making it interesting. A lot of the character positions look stiff and unnatural; in one panel it looks like Xavier is doing the robot in his seat. And the Gamemaster makes for a really awful character design before you take into consideration the redundancy of a villain in X-Men who is a bald telepath.

C