Uncanny X-Men #331

Uncanny X-Men #331
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Bryan Hitch

What Went Down: We open on the members of X-Force (they’re still living at the mansion?) searching through debris in the middle of a laboratory fire. They are looking for the Beast, but unbeknownst to them, the X-Men’s Beast has been replaced by the Dark Beast from the Age of the Apocalypse, and the fire is being used to cover any differences in his personality. Shatterstar does note that he sounds different, and he is vehement about not going down to the medical station, but nobody questions him.

In her New York apartment, Emma Frost discovers that Iceman has filled her private office with ice. He demands that she sit down to talk. In Colorado, Gambit and Bishop are standing outside, and Bishop tells the story of the first time he saw trees. Inside Xavier wonders about these two X-Men, and why there are so many mysteries about them. Archangel tells the Professor that he’s not returning to Westchester so he and Betsy can recover from their injuries.

Iceman demands that Emma help him master his powers so he can heal the chunk missing from his chest. When she refuses, he starts by freezing the blood flow to her brain. Elsewhere, Scott and Jean have managed to locate the place where the X-Men were brought in X-Men #50. Unfortunately there is a huge crater where the forest should be, and there is absolutely no evidence of Onslaught whatsoever.

Outside Emma’s office, Jubilee and Banshee notice all of the ice forming. Jubilee asks if they should get involved, but Banshee thinks it best for them to resolve it themselves. Bobby shackles Emma with ice, but she continues to taunt him. Using her telepathy, Emma makes Bobby’s father, his ex-girlfriend Opal, and the Beast appear to distract and frustrate him. Iceman explains these illusions can’t work because he is confident in who he is, so Emma tells him to just change back to human form.

Iceman changes back to human form without dying, and Emma apologizes for messing with Bobby. She explains that she felt guilty about the Hellions’ deaths, and it angered her to see him squander his powers when her students weren’t alive to enjoy theirs.

How It Was: This finally resolves the multi-years long arc of Iceman’s frustration with his powers. After this issue, we no longer see him asking people if they consider him a loser or whining about how much he’s wasted his potential. And that in it of itself is very nice. It’s a very roundabout way of doing it, by having Lobdell rehash every Bobby character and relationship beat for the last three years, but the important thing is that it is finally done, and Bobby can move on. I do like how Iceman just gets fed up after receiving his potentially life altering wound, and it’s been a while since we’ve seen Bobby stand up for himself. I don’t quite buy Emma’s excuse for messing with Bobby tying into the deaths of the Hellions; this seems to be Lobdell’s way of writing it off while making her look sympathetic, instead of looking like the manipulative ball buster she should be.

The sequence with Archangel telling Xavier that he’s taking a break is far too drawn out and melodramatic for its own good. It seems unnecessary for Xavier to question Gambit and Bishop’s loyalty, and Warren comes out of left field by accusing Xavier of being manipulative. Although this turns out to be retroactively accurate due to Xavier being Onslaught, without that context it feels forced. Gambit and Bishop yet again pay lipservice to the traitor storyline because that’s being resolved soon. And the “clues” about Onslaught’s power that Scott and Jean discover are completely inconsequential, so you can forget them.

This issue is nothing spectacular, but parts of it do work well. Plus there are some great scenes with Emma verbally abusing Iceman which are a lot of fun.

C+

Uncanny X-Men #318

Uncanny X-Men #318
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Roger Cruz

What Went Down: On the Xavier Estate, workers are removing the “Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters” sign because the name is being moved to the Massachusetts Academy for Generation X. While they work, the workers talk about Angelo Espinosa, the young mutant with distorted gray skin. Angelo has decided that he is going to try to hitchhike to get away from the institute, but he winds up getting picked up by the Beast, who has taken it upon himself to change Angelo’s perspective on the school. Angelo is very short with the Beast and sees Hank’s attempts at levity as stupid and annoying.

In Xavier’s living room, Cyclops and Jean Grey fill Xavier in on the events of the mini-series The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix. Cyclops expresses sadness and regret at having to leave his son behind; they also express hope since they witnessed the creation of the Legacy Virus, which might lead to a cure…but it doesn’t. Xavier loses control of his body for a second because of the strain of reading their minds, and Jean catches his mug. He also mentions the stress of having his life’s work destroyed to prevent the Phalanx from getting access to it.

At the mall, Monet has decided to buy new clothes for all of her Generation X classmates because she is rich. Paige and Everett are hesitant since they both come from more modest backgrounds. It is left open as to whether Monet is motivated by generosity, or if she just likes feeling superior to everyone else. At the food court, Banshee, Storm, and Bishop discuss Banshee’s new role as headmaster. They talk about the new recruits, and poke fun at Banshee a little.

In the car, Beast’s singing causes Angelo to lose control of his skin. Over at the estate, Emma Frost is supervising the workers replacing the sign with one that says “Xavier Institute for Learning.” Internally, Emma expresses frustration with not being able to just use her powers on them. She notices a shadowy figure in the woods, who turns out to be Bobby Drake. Drake wants to learn how Emma used his powers so well, and Emma uses her powers to manipulate his powers a little more. Then she tells him to go learn how to do it himself. Out on the road, Beast reluctantly gives Angelo the keys to the car and tells him to do whatever he wants.

At the mansion, Jubilee has finished cleaning out her room, and Archangel shows up to say goodbye. Jubilee gets angry at him for not spending more time with her at the mansion, which they both attribute to him being distant and not able to readily express his feelings. Then they hug it out.

On the edge of the estate, the Professor has given Cyclops and Jean the boathouse to live in, so they can have privacy as a newlywed couple. Gambit is helping Cyclops move, and he expresses envy at Scott’s ability to be happy and free from his past. Cyclops asks about Rogue and gets brushed aside. We also find out that Cyclops is a fan of The Three Stooges…who knew?

Banshee and Jubilee say goodbye to the Professor—it’s all very touching. Angelo shows up at the end in the car, and asks if he can still go to the institute, which he does.

How It Was: So after the four issue lead up to the new Generation X series, we get another Generation X lead up story! At least the X-Men play a role in this issue’s events. It’s also the issue after a major crossover, so that means that it’s a quiet issue with no action and a lot of character building moments. And I mean a lot. Since Lobdell sets out for such a broad focus, the threads themselves are hit or miss; Lobdell’s best quiet issues are the ones that focus on no more than three different threads at a time.

We get a recap of Cyclops and Jean’s mini-series, which is mostly exposition for people who haven’t read that series. Most of it, even the emotional responses, was all ready relayed in X-Men #35 and Wolverine #85, but I guess there is the slight possibility that some fans could have been reading Uncanny and not X-Men or Wolverine. The focus on Xavier’s frustration over the loss of his life’s work is a little more interesting, but it’s hard to get excited about it since it all gets forgotten in a couple of issues and Xavier ends up replacing everything. The Beast/Angelo scenes are adequate—some of the Beast’s lines are funny and the script is setting Angelo up as the angry/sad member, in case you didn’t get that from his Phalanx appearances. Ultimately Lobdell is even able to avoid the clichéd freak of nature story by making Angelo have to struggle to focus his powers. Still, every beat is entirely predictable, so it’s not really that engaging.

The scenes with Emma and Iceman are a little better, in that they cast a lot of doubt as to whether or not Emma can handle this new responsibility as co-headmaster and by extension, super hero. It’s also nice to see a conflict with a character that isn’t necessarily life or death, more of a simple nagging doubt. Arguably the best scenes go to Jubilee, a fan favorite at the time. The hardest sell of the new Generation X series was explaining why Jubilee would leave her surrogate family, and I think that Lobdell presents a believable series of events. I really like how Lobdell throws the curve ball of her goodbye scenes; instead of doing the traditional sad partings with the entire team where the characters explain how they’ve touched each other’s lives, the writer goes for the exact opposite. He chooses to acknowledge a non-existent relationship, and uses it to build on the idea of what love really is. It’s a very pleasant surprise.

Roger Cruz does a pretty impressive job of mimicking Joe Mad’s art style; I had to check the credits to make sure it wasn’t Maduiera. He does a pretty decent job for an issue that is all talking heads, although there is one really exaggerated scene that slaps you out of the story where Beast has to pull over the car, and he ends up making it spin like 520 degrees. It’s not horrible; it’s really abrupt and stands out as unnecessary. The issue as a whole is well done. It’s nothing special, and it’s a little grating that the X-Men books are still using space to promote Generation X after months and months of it already.

B-

X-Men #37

X-Men #37
Writing: Fabian Nicieza
Art: Andy Kubert

What Went Down: The next generation of mutants start out this issue with Clarice getting captured by Harvest and the Phalanx. Clarice uses her power to escape, and Monet punches the crap out of the bad guys. Too bad for our heroes that the bad guys just reform afterwards.

In the water below the boat, Banshee and Everett climb up the anchor chain to rescue the children. Inside the boat, Emma and Jubilee have somehow found their way inside, where they fight Phalanx infected rats and discuss Jubilee’s fears about her powers.

When all seems lost for the young mutants, they are saved in the nick of time by …Sabretooth? Yes Sabretooth takes the time to track down the Phalanx base and help rescue the children. Banshee and Everett join in, and together they annihilate Harvest for the second time.

Sabretooth refuses to explain how or why he came back to save the children. The heroes discuss how best to help Paige, who has been infected by the Phalanx, when Sabretooth takes it upon himself to tear her skin off. Luckily, her mutant power turns out to be the ability to shed her top layer of skin to reveal a different material, in this case metal skin. Harvest then returns for a third time to try to kill everyone.

As Emma tries to escape with the kids, they discover the bodies of some people and a dog absorbed by the Phalanx. This inspires Clarice to stop running and stand up to Harvest. Using her powers she tears Harvest apart, but for some reason she gets caught in the effect herself. So Clarice dies and the X-Men’s victory comes at the tragic cost of a character that was two issues old.

How It Was: Nicieza sets up a climactic battle to end the crossover, and it succeeds in feeling like a final, brutal story ending fight. The problem is that the final baddie is too powerful, and it makes for an uneven final chapter. The Phalanx, and Harvest in particular, are all shallow characters with little motivation or personality. They’re supposed to be unbeatable, which is good for setting up adversity for the heroes, but they’re so unbeatable that the fight doesn’t make sense. There is a difference between creating a novel challenge for the heroes and having the bad guy come back over and over again with no logic or reason behind it. And why does Clarice have to die to defeat the bad guy?  Why can't she use her powers like she did in part 3?

The reason of course is because the writer wants to get a cheap emotional ending without having really earned it; Clarice wasn’t really developed enough to care about, but that hasn’t stopped her from becoming very popular. This is mostly due to her return in Age of Apocalypse, which occurred four months after this book came out. It’s a much more successful take on the character whose only real purpose was to make the end of this story kind of sad.

Sabretooth’s return makes for an intriguing mystery of his allegiance. Unfortunately it is later forgotten, and Creed just says he was only pretending to be good even though there was no real reason behind it. The reveal of Paige’s power is well done, though.

This is an underwhelming conclusion with awful villains and some under-developed new characters. Plus there isn’t really any resolution at all to the question of where the X-Men have been taken to (that occurs in Wolverine and Cable of all places). It’s an epic finale, just not a very good epic finale.

C-

Uncanny X-Men #317

Uncanny X-Men #317
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down: Paige Guthrie wakes up to find herself a prisoner of the Phalanx, along with four other mutants: Monet, Clarice, Angelo, and Gregor. Angelo’s really negative and stretchy, Clarice cries a lot, Gregor is kind of hokey, and Monet just sits there. Paige is certain that the X-Men will come to rescue them all. Clarice points out that Paige has been infected with some kind of trans-mode virus, even though it appears on the outside of her clothes.

In San Francisco, Emma, Banshee, Jubilee, and Everett arrive at one of Emma’s luxurious town homes. Banshee lets Emma know that he doesn’t trust her and then destroys a number of targeting devices outside the house. Inside the absurdly large living area, Emma shows Banshee their next objective: a SHIELD safehouse in the San Francisco area.

Back in the Phalanx prison, Angelo tries to cheer Paige up. A member of the Phalanx named Harvest visits the captives and threatens all of them. Clarice uses her powers of teleportation to start to pull Harvest apart, but Gregor stops her because he is worried that she might be hurt. Harvest teleports away.

On what appears to be the Golden Gate Bridge, Jubilee talks with Everett about how worthless she feels for not being more adept with her powers, especially after Everett used them so effectively last issue. She is also fed up with all of the suffering that comes with the role of X-Man, even though she loves everyone on the team.

At the SHIELD base, Emma uses her powers to hide them from sight, while Banshee uses his powers to… errr hide them from the cameras somehow. In the prison, Monet takes the time to actually talk. She explains that she has manipulated her clothes, which are techno organic, into a weapon that can hide them from detection. She also kills Gregor because he was really a Phalanx spy.

Emma and Banshee find a techno organic reading using the SHIELD computers, but the agents discover them because Emma’s powers didn’t hide the rain puddles they brought in with them. Emma threatens the agents, but Banshee knocks them out first. Emma claims she was bluffing.

Monet uses her super strength to bust a hole in the prison and escape. Paige suggests that she should stay behind because she is infected, but Monet forces her to come with them. The group discovers that they are in the middle of the ocean on a giant boat.

How It Was: Alright then. We finally get a little bit of personality from the next generation of mutants. Angelo, the future Skin, is a pessimistic bastard. While most hideous characters like Beast or the Thing keep they’re regrets and sadness to themselves, Angelo is immature and allows it to taint his attitude and interactions; it actually comes off as fresh in a world of stoic comic book heroes, but it’s not necessarily fun to read. The rest of the characters aren’t nearly as interesting, but that’s okay because Lobdell ideally wants to save that development for the main Generation X series. The reveal of Gregor as a spy is well handled, although once again a little predictable due to his odd behavior.

Jubilee probably gets the most development in the brief scenes she appears in. Selling audiences on Jubilee wanting to leave the X-Men wasn’t an easy mandate, but I think Lobdell makes a compelling argument here. It is strange that the two characters go all the way to the Golden Gate Bridge to have their conversation, but oh well; meanwhile, Everett continues to be quiet and boring.

The plotline with Emma and Sean infiltrating SHIELD seems like a needless detour to pad out the story. If Emma has enough technology to find a top secret facility, why can’t she find the Phalanx ship as well? Shouldn’t they tell SHIELD about the Phalanx? And can’t Banshee just ask for their help, since they’re obviously aware of who is?

The art is pretty good, but for some reason Joe Mad has made Everett and Gregor’s bodies really over muscled. Everett’s girth might be a side effect of absorbing Sabretooth’s powers, but it still looks really weird. The layout of Emma’s home and the effects of Clarice’s powers on Harvest serve as stand out moments for the art. The spotlight on the young mutants isn’t great, and it leads to some stalling on the part of the heroes outside.

C+

X-Men #36

X-Men #36
Writing: Fabian Nicieza
Art: Andy Kubert

What Went Down: This issue starts with a prologue involving Monet being experimented on by the Phalanx members Stephen Lang and Cameron Hodge, both former enemies of the X-Men. It turns out that the Phalanx can’t assimilate mutants yet, so they are trying to find out how. Monet still hasn’t said or done anything since being captured. Hodge explains that they will eliminate the threat of mutants by absorbing all of humanity or killing all the mutants. Lang wonders if he has crossed a line.

We then get an opportunity to meet another new mutant and future member of Generation X. This time it is Everett K. Thomas, who is currently surrounded by a lot of police officers. The police are concerned because Everett has just shown signs of being a mutant by screaming and shattering all of the windows on the block. The boy tries to explain that a creature attacked him and it was just a reaction, but the cops don’t believe him until half of the cops reveal themselves as members of the Phalanx.

The Phalanx move in to capture Everett, but some of them are attacked by a sonic scream. Everett explains that because of his mutant power he was able to synch his body with Banshee’s. Anyways, Banshee and Sabretooth make short work of the Phalanx and escape before they can heal.

Elsewhere in the city, Jubilee argues with Emma over her teaching style with the Hellions. Of course members of the Phalanx, disguised as everyday civilians, also attack them.

All the way in Kentucky at the Guthrie household, Mama Guthrie is being attacked by a member of the Phalanx while her daughter Paige tries to save her. This turns out to be a trap as Paige, the actual target, is then captured for being a mutant.

Back in the city, Emma and Jubilee are pursued by the Phalanx. Since Emma’s telepathic powers are no longer effective, they are pretty much screwed until Banshee and Sabretooth show up. These Phalanx actually overwhelm the two X-Men, but Everett is able to save the day by synching with Jubilee’s powers and blowing up the bad guys. Before dying, one of the Phalanx turns into Stephen Lang and reveals that Sara Grey, Jean’s sister who had been missing since the early days of X-Factor, had actually been captured by the Phalanx, but was somehow able to retain her personality. He also reveals that they have captured Paige Guthrie.

After the Phalanx dies, Emma reveals that she was able to get a brief glimpse at the girl’s location. Then everybody realizes that Sabretooth has escaped because Banshee’s wrist detonator was damaged in the fight.

How It Was: Well we get to meet two more members of Generation X, and neither one is really super exciting at this point. Everett is a nice young boy who is on personal terms with the local cops in his neighborhood and has the ability to steal powers (like Rogue, but without the touching), even though they have to complicate it by calling it “synching” for his future codename to make sense. And Paige is southern, feisty, and heroic, so basically she is her brother Cannonball, but a girl. Don’t worry, they’ll all develop personalities later once they get into their own title. I promise.

As for the rest of the issue, it is more fighting the Phalanx. And because the Phalanx are supposed to adapt to mutant powers, Nicieza has to keep coming up with ways to defeat them. While this issue doesn’t necessarily focus on them, I’d say that Emma and Jubilee get the more interesting character moments this issue. I do like the set up of Jubilee not trusting Emma at all, both because of her past as a villain and the fate of the Hellions. Emma also gets some nice moments to be dry and snarky, which is always fun to read.

The majority of this issue is just exposition. The Phalanx explain their plans, Everett has to explain himself and his powers, Jubilee explains Emma’s past. It’s all necessary to understanding the characters and plot, but it can get tedious at times. And the reveal at the end of Sara Grey being forced to join the Phalanx comes completely out of left field. First off, we’re talking about the resolution to a five or six year old plot line that has no greater effect on this story, and one that most readers have probably forgotten. And second, Jean isn’t there, so the moment doesn’t have any emotional resonance at all. Nobody present really cares that much about Jean’s sister, and the whole thing is pretty much forgotten, except for a small moment in a couple of issues where Jean reflects about finding out the news. Then again, the cliffhanger at the end with Sabretooth escaping is really good.

So this issue isn’t quite as good as the first since there is less emphasis on character and more on the villains, who are still boring.

B-

Uncanny X-Men #316

Uncanny X-Men #316
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down: We are introduced to a young girl named Monet St. Croix and her bodyguard Colonel Cord-Becker, a husky English female, both of whom are traveling in a limo. Monet doesn’t move or speak due to some trauma involving her siblings. A member of the Phalanx attacks the limo; he assimilates the limo, driver, and bodyguard, and captures Monet.

Over at the mansion, Banshee is talking to Emma Frost because she is concerned that something is wrong with the X-Men. Before she can elaborate, Iceman and Storm put up a sonic disruptor to silence her. Banshee wonders if Iceman and Storm might be holding a grudge against the former White Queen, but they dismiss it.

Scott and Jean phone the mansion, and Banshee answers it. They explain that they have information about the Legacy Virus that the Professor needs, so Sean sends them to Muir Isle where Xavier is busy hanging out with Moira and Excalibur. Archangel bursts in and uncharacteristically yells at Banshee for answering the call when he is not a full X-Man. This makes Banshee feel like he has lost touch with the X-Men, but he suspects something more is up when he is able to spy on Psylocke walking out of the War Room.

Inside the War Room, Gambit and Bishop are dismantling various computers, explaining that they are upgrading them. Banshee checks a computer and discovers that none of the X-Men are in the building other than himself, Jubilee, Emma Frost, and Sabretooth. The other X-Men are imposters!

Returning to the Communications Room, Banshee hopes to send a message to Xavier, but he finds that the whole room has been dismantled impossibly quickly. Beast questions his reason for being in the room, but Banshee gives him an excuse. He then goes to free Sabretooth, who is being guarded by the Rogue imposter. Using a sonic scream, he discovers the imposter is a member of the Phalanx. After waking up, Sabretooth takes the time to kill the remains of the Phalanx entity.

Sending Sabretooth to rescue Jubilee and Emma, because he has a remote to a detonator located on Creed’s muzzle, Banshee grabs a gun and attacks the Gambit and Bishop imposters in the war room. Sean finds out that the Phalanx are using Cerebro to find young mutants to experiment on. He then sets the self-destruct and escapes in the nick of time. Banshee then vows that he will find the new mutants before the Phalanx can.

How It Was: Welcome to the next big X-Men crossover. This one is a little odd because the X-Men have all been captured, or they’re off doing other things, so the X-Men titles don’t feature a lot of X-Men or even the resolution of this story. Instead, these X-issues serve as set up for the upcoming series Generation X, basically a New Mutants style “young generation of mutants being trained”. And it is no coincidence that three of the stars of this crossover are also going to be the stars of the new series. But it’s still an important crossover, as signified by the shiny cardboard cover.

As for the story this issue, it is pretty good even though the cover completely spoils the twist that all the X-Men have been replaced by Phalanx. Primarily this issue serves as a reintroduction for Banshee, who hasn’t been in the spotlight in ages.  It does a great job of fleshing him out, showing him off as the hero, and setting up his feelings that lead to his joining Gen-X. His feelings of distance from the team are perfectly natural, since he hasn’t done anything important in about three years, and the issue also manages to find room for his feelings about his past, Moira, and other aspects of his history that also haven’t been touched on in years. The fake X-Men come off as a little obvious, but Lobdell’s script does a good job at playing off of Banshee’s own insecurities as to why he doesn’t figure it out sooner. While you don’t ever believe that they are the real X-Men, you do believe how Banshee could think they are.

Also exciting is Sabretooth actually getting to do something other than sit in his cell and act menacing. Granted he just starred in the annual and the flashback in X-Men #33, but this feels a lot more substantial. The really neat thing is the dynamic that Banshee can’t really trust his team, since Emma and Sabretooth are former villains and Jubilee is absolutely worthless. This actual tension makes up for the fact that the Phalanx are one-dimensional villains that aren’t really interesting,but they are fun to look at due to Joe Mad’s awesome art style.

You could also criticize some of the story elements since they fail to stand up to logic, but they are necessary for the story to work. If the Phalanx could capture all of the X-Men, why not just capture Banshee as well? Or Sabretooth and Emma? Why not take Jubilee to the same place that the other new mutants are being held? The prologue is also kind of a mixed bag. A character that doesn’t speak or do anything does set up some mystery, but it also isn’t very exciting. However, the female bodyguard does get an awesome scene; how can you not smile at a large British woman making a last stand with a giant pistol named Pickering?

With only a few characters to focus on this issue works really well. Five or six issues of fighting the Phalanx does start to wear after a while, but for now it is pretty exciting.

B+

Uncanny X-Men #314

Uncanny X-Men #314
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Lee Weeks

What Went Down: With only about a day spent in Bobby Drake’s body, Emma Frost has already learned to use his powers more effectively than he has over the course of several years. She starts out by escaping the X-Men by flying away. Storm and Archangel chase her, but she is determined to be reunited with her students, the Hellions. Despite being told that they are dead, Emma refuses to believe them, dives into the water, and freezes the entire river. This act also transports her three miles in five seconds. Banshee and Xavier are in the Blackbird, and Charles knows exactly where Frost is going.

In the Danger Room, Bishop is fighting a robot without using his powers while somebody taunts him off panel. Bishop finishes off the robot, and it is revealed that the person talking to him is a hologram of his dead sister, Shard. Jubilee interrupts the session, and Bishop explains who Shard is to her. When asked how she died, Bishop tells Jubilee that he killed her, although this later turns out to be an exaggeration, as really Bishop only blames himself for her death.

Emma returns to Frost Enterprises, but finds that she cannot turn her body back to human form. Some security guards try to stop her, but they are unable to. Emma then melts herself and slides into the building.

Once in her office, Frost uses her computer to try to find the Hellions; as she does this, she reminisces about how she used her powers in her past to accrue her wealth. The computer shows her that all of the Hellions are dead, except for Empath, and then shows her how they died. More security guards flood the office, but Emma is so heartbroken that she asks them to kill her. Xavier makes it just in time to stop the guards with his powers. Emma vents her frustrations, claiming that Xavier’s way was the right way since his students, the New Mutants, survived. She views the Hellions deaths as her failure. Banshee offers Emma a chance to come with them, which she takes. As they leave, Xavier looks at the screen and announces that never again will the blood of innocents be spilt in the conflict between mutants and humans, which seems like a pretty unrealistic goal.

How It Was: Well it’s only the third issue into his run as artist and Joe Mad already needs a fill in artist. This is a sign of things to come. Weeks’ work is about as far from Joe Mad as you can get; the characters have a much more realistic look to them, and everything looks more like your standard Marvel House Style, only colored a little darker. The opening spread is really awesome, except it’s hard to tell if the lines at the top of the page are rain or wind or something else.

As for the story, it’s fairly predictable, but still really well done. The part that makes the issue is Emma’s guilt and frustration over the deaths of her students. Perhaps Lobdell purposely underplayed the X-Men’s reactions to the Hellions’ deaths just to make this issue seem even more impressive…naah. The deaths of her students also make for a perfectly logical reason for Emma to reform and become a hero, something that has led to some really great stories down the line. The ending is kind of ruined by Xavier’s overly melodramatic and unrealistic statement, but otherwise this is a pretty good character piece for Emma. Unfortunately, we never get to see Iceman’s perspective in Emma’s body, and the two are switched back by the time we see them next. And I would love to know how Iceman can just fly through the air. Also the other problem is that the next couple of months feature Iceman whining about how much he is loser because he can’t control his powers as well.

B

Uncanny X-Men #313

Uncanny X-Men #313
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down: This comic actually skips ahead a couple of sequences after last issue, with Gambit in the water swimming for his life from a giant Phalanx hand. The editor makes a note acknowledging this, saying there was just too much action to fit into one comic. Anyways, Gambit gets dragged underwater by the monster, but escapes by throwing charged playing cards into its mouth. Yes, he throws playing cards accurately while UNDERWATER! On the swim up, Gambit spots Yukio’s unconscious body. He debates leaving her, but decides against it.

At the mansion, Iceman’s unconscious body is doing some weird things with his powers. Banshee “subtlely” notes that it is as if the boy is learning about his powers from scratch. Jubilee yells at Beast for an off color comment, then apologizes. Banshee notes that young mutants like Jubilee should have a place where someone can worry about them instead of the next crisis, continuing the foreshadowing for Generation X from Uncanny #304. With Creed in his cell, Xavier swears that he will help Sabretooth, or die trying. This lasts for a couple of issues, until Xavier decides to give up and hand him over to the government.

Back at the docks, Storm is busy fighting the female Phalanx. Gambit helps Storm out by hitting the Phalanx with his staff, which is apparently really effective. Elsewhere we find Stephen Lang, a former Sentinel programmer who is now a member of the Phalanx. Doug Ramsey, Cypher of the New Mutants, is also a part of the Phalanx, even though he died and is a mutant. He is able to resist Lang’s influence to some extent, and I think his story is continued in the Excalibur Phalanx crossover, because it is never mentioned here again. We also see Cameron Hodge and another member who fights the X-Men later.

At the docks, both Phalanx members have cornered Yukio. She offers to tell them anything, but really she is just stalling so Gambit can charge a giant anchor and drop it on the villains. Storm questions whether the Phalanx have a right to life, even if it costs humanity theirs. Then she summons a lightning bolt, disintegrates the remains of the bad guys, and blows them away. Yukio kicks Gambit in the face because, err, I guess he might’ve forgotten that she doesn’t like him.

At the mansion, Iceman is awake, but Charles reveals that it is really Emma Frost’s mind in Bobby’s body.

How It Was: Not quite as good as last issue, but still pretty darn good. I’ll start with the art first, since Joe Mad is still drawing up a storm. The best parts are at the Phalanx “base” because Joe Mad really pulls off a surreal, techno-organic type purgatory. Sure the upcoming crossover is an excuse to brush off some dead characters, but it still looks really nice. The underwater scenes are also well done, even if the physics of them look nothing like our Earth physics.

The real problem comes with the ways in which the X-Men fight the Phalanx this issue, none of which seem really creative or like they should be effective. Throwing playing cards underwater and hitting a bad guy with a stick should just plain not work, and how is dropping an exploding anchor on them to finish them any different than the exploding motorcycle from last issue? The Phalanx themselves aren’t really interesting, other than visually that is; they just continually talk about assimilation and conquering the planet. Then there’s Yukio, who doesn’t really belong in this story because she has no purpose other than to lead the bad guys to the good guys. She doesn’t do a lot this issue, other than act really mean to Gambit after he saved her life. To illicit such a response, either Gambit did something pretty awful, or Yukio is just a jerk. Unfortunately, as I said before, we never get to find out which one it is.

The stuff at the mansion is okay. Xavier’s ultimatum to Sabretooth is a bit of a mislead, in that it makes you think that something is actually going to come of Sabretooth’s storyline. The reveal at the end is well done, and leads into a pretty good story, but that’s a matter for next issue’s review. Overall, this story is really just a prelude to the huge Phalanx crossover coming up in a few issues. This story has some nice scenes for Storm and Gambit, but really isn’t anything to write home about.

C+

Uncanny X-Men #311

Uncanny X-Men #311
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: John Romita Jr.

What Went Down: The Beast is in the mansion’s power core, running a diagnostic to check for damage after Magneto’s EMP pulse from Fatal Attractions. Jubilee is yelling at him through his headset because he promised to take her to the Rocky Horror Picture Show (she can’t be that big of a fan since she didn’t bother to dress up). She tries to get Iceman to take her instead, but he is busy upgrading the security around the med-lab.

Outside Bishop is meditating/absorbing the energy from melting snowflakes (I feel like melting snow wouldn’t release energy, but what do I know?). Storm stops by to tell him that she is meeting Gambit and an old friend in town, and he tells her that he is done dwelling on the future. Bishop throws a snowball at her, which is answered by a giant pile of snow landing right on top of him. Meanwhile, Sabretooth is freaking out in his cell.

In the med-lab, Bobby reflects on Emma Frost’s career as a villain, and then the power goes out. Suddenly pink energy from the alien technology in the mansion shoots out and hits Bobby and Emma, knocking out the former. Bishop runs in the mansion, and Beast tells him to check on Sabretooth.

Sure enough, Sabretooth has escaped and is about to kill Jubilee. Bishop tears out the power lines in the walls to charge himself up, and blasts Creed. Jubilee is obviously traumatized by her experience and begs Bishop not to leave her alone. In the power core, Beast works to keep it from melting down.

Sabretooth escapes into the sewers, and Bishop follows. Bishop shoots him with the remaining energy he has stored. The two are at a standoff until Jubilee shoots Sabretooth with a taser from behind.

Storm meets up with her old friend Yukio in New York City. Yukio has asked for Storm’s help with an entity that has been chasing her. The three men that Yukio was just dancing with transform into members of the Phalanx, setting up the cliffhanger.

How It Was: With the wedding over, Uncanny can finally get back to some regular stories. This issue starts what will become a common trend for Sabretooth stories—he escapes and the X-Men have to hunt him down and stop him. To be fair, I think this issue does it best out of all of the future issues that deal with Sabretooth escaping. We have all of the common horror movie tropes here: power outage, teenage girl alone, homicidal maniac that only one man can stop. It’s also nice to see Bishop acting cool again after months of him doing nothing but annoying people by talking about the future.

The scenes with Beast are okay; they do give us some humorous dialogue, but they also fail to generate any tension over the unnecessary core meltdown sub plot. Jubilee also gets some nice scenes where she stands up to Sabretooth despite being absolutely terrified of him. Lobdell actually gets some mileage out of this since Jubilee’s default character is usually calm and sarcastic. The Iceman/Emma stuff doesn’t seem important now, but actually leads to a pretty good story later.

The art is looking really great this issue, with some great action scenes and very detailed backgrounds. The first three pages contain some of Romita’s nicest looking spreads of the Beast. All around, a pretty good issue.

B+

Uncanny X-Men #310

Uncanny X-Men #310
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: John Romita Jr.

What Went Down: The opening splash involves Banshee and Cyclops responding to an intruder alert, which is postponing their journey to Cyclops’ bachelor party. They enter the Danger Room to discover a program replaying Cyclops’ past with X-Factor, specifically the scene when he had to give up his son Nathan to the Askani so he could be cured of a techno-organic virus in the future. Cyclops shuts down the Danger Room with an optic blast. It turns out that Cable is the one responsible for programming the scene to play; Cable is curious about an invitation to Cyclops’ wedding, so Cyclops asks Banshee to leave so he can have a long talk with his son.

At the party, all of the X-Men, plus Nightcrawler, are waiting for Cyclops’ arrival. Bishop doesn’t understand the purpose of marriage, leading to a lecture on relations in the future, leading to all of the heroes begging him to shut up.

Following Cable’s bodyslide signal, the X-Cutioner teleports into another part of the mansion. Meanwhile, Cable is convinced that Cyclops abandoned him. Cyclops is angered by these accusations, so he brings up another simulation that shows him breaking down and questioning his decision. Cyclops tells Cable how much he regrets not being able to raise him, and Cable tells him that it is okay because there were two people who helped bring him up. These two people turn out to be a time displaced Cyclops and Jean Grey, but this occurs after their wedding in their own mini-series. At the party, Gambit is attempting to stir up animosity against Sabretooth. Back at the mansion, Sabretooth smells an intruder from his cell, and he calls Cyclops and Cable to let them know.

It turns out that the X-Cutioner’s master plan is to kill Emma Frost because he thinks she is responsible for the deaths of the Hellions, and killing evil mutants is his gimmick. Cyclops and Cable defeat him pretty easily. Cable says he’ll attend the wedding and teleports Scott to his bachelor party.

How It Was: This month’s Uncanny dives headfirst into the quagmire that is X-continuity, and the results are pretty good. Up to this point Cable and Cyclops’ relationship hadn’t really been addressed, due to the fact that it is a weird mixture of time travel and soap opera. Lobdell finds a good balance by approaching Cable as an abandoned son and ignoring the absurd fact that Cable is now older than his father. By having Cyclops reconcile with his son, we also get some scenes that build on the original X-Factor stories that really underplayed Scott’s initial reactions.

The bachelor party scenes are okay, but really they’re just reiterating points that have already been addressed in other issues; Gambit doesn’t like Sabretooth, Archangel is somewhat jealous of Cyclops, Bishop talks too much about the future. The villain of the issue is also kind of underwhelming; X-Cutioner’s only real purpose is to remind us that Emma Frost is still around and establish that she’s been in the mansion for the past two years so Lobdell can dust her off and use her in the next couple of issues. Plus it feels like the villain could have found a stronger motivation to kill her since Emma used to be a pretty major villain in her day.

The art is not really representative of Romita’s best work. While the majority of it is good, there are some scratchy looking panels, especially the X-Factor flashback with baby Nate. His Cable sometimes has shoulders that are too wide (although he is definitely not the only artist to have this problem), and I’ve always felt that he draws Sabretooth too skinny. Consequently it’s not an amazing issue, but it does have some pretty good character moments for Cyke and Cable to recommend.

B

Uncanny X-Men #283

Uncanny X-Men #283
Writing: Whilce Portacio and John Byrne
Art: Whilce Portacio

What Went Down: Bishop and his team show up with guns blazing. Initially they make the attempt to collar the enemy mutants to send them back to their home time. However, once Fitzroy demonstrates that none of them can go back to the future without dying, they decide that the only solution is for them to kill every criminal.

In an attempt to save their master, some of the criminals use holographic image inducers to mimic Fitzroy’s appearance in hopes of confusing Bishop and his XSE soldiers. One of the mutants mentions that they are from the future causing Storm to wonder if they are from the Days of the Future Past storyline, which they are not.

Bishop first demonstrates his power to absorb energy and redirect it by actually using the power in the same way as the mutant he absorbed it from, in this case through his eyes. Later issues have him just absorb the energy and shoot it from his hands.

Colossus moves in to stop Bishop and tells him that the X-Men do not stand by while people get killed. This inspires conflicting feelings in Bishop since in his time the X-Men are revered legends.

During the commotion, Shinobi Shaw’s guards capture Fitzroy and take him to see their leader.

Bishop decides that the X-Men are too pacifist to be the same ones that he grew up worshiping. Interestingly, he also claims that Archangel isn’t supposed to look blue with metal wings; you could say that this was foreshadowing for developments in the 2000s with X-titles, but I really, really doubt it.

Bishop uses a bracelet on Colossus to take his powers, and views it as further proof since the real Colossus couldn’t possibly be beaten so easily. A large fight ensues, but ends when Storm gets a hold of Bishop’s gun and points it at his chest point blank.

Overhead in the Blackbird, Professor X is trying to put Jean’s mind back in her body while Forge pilots. Xavier expresses how amazing it is that Jean was able to do this. During the process, Charles notes that another presence was observing them; this is the Gamemaster, the being in charge of the Upstart competition. Other than that the process works fine, and Jean is back in her body.

Cut to Shinobi Shaw’s jet, where Shinobi is informing Fitzroy that his Sentinels were able to reattach his finger. Fitzroy claims that he took the ring fairly, but a screen informs him that the Gamemaster is in favor of Shaw, since Fitzroy failed to kill Emma Frost and Jean Grey. Shinobi holds a toast with a group of other people who he claims are fellow Upstarts. Since the Upstarts team that is revealed later is completely different, you can pretty much ignore anyone you see here.

Shinobi’s soldiers also planted explosives on Fitzroy’s base. While Bishop and Storm argue, the explosives are triggered. Storm uses a…errr “pressure dome” to protect the Gold Team, while Bishop and his team just run away.

The team rejoins the Professor and Forge on the Blackbird. Colossus gets medical treatment while Storm wonders why Bishop’s uniform was so similar to the X-Men’s, and whether or not he is from the future.

The final scene is the Gamemaster, who looks like Lobot from Empire Strikes Back (look it up on Wikipedia) talking with Selene, the Black Queen, who is sitting on a throne. They discuss how nobody understands the true purpose of the Upstart competition.

How It Was: Wonderful issue. Bishop and his pragmatic XSE troops make an exciting debut, open up a number of potential questions to be solved later, and act as good foils for the X-Men. The fact that the X-Men can’t even prove their own identities to Bishop also makes for a great twist, as well as Storm’s confusion over how Xavier’s dream could possibly be turned into a group of paramilitary extremists. Fantastic.

Of less interest is everything involving the Upstarts. Not that it’s poorly done; it’s just that it really is a false start. Everything about the team up until this point gets ignored the next time we see the team in Uncanny, except for their goal of killing mutants. Also, for only having four members, the dialogue for Gold Squad is pretty weak. Colossus lectures the whole time on why killing is wrong, Iceman demonstrates backhanded resentment towards Storm’s leadership for some reason, and Archangel doesn’t really say anything worth noting. Things improve a little bit once Scott Lobdell takes over in a couple of months. Plus, nobody shows any emotion over the fact that the Hellions just died. Sure they were villains, but most of them were also teenagers; you’d think it might affect the X-Men a little.

As for art, it’s pretty much the same as last issue. The characters are wonderfully detailed, but there is almost no background art, just solid colors behind the characters. And oddly in some of the scenes with Xavier on the Blackbird, he is colored in lime green tints; the effect feels like it’s meant to evoke some kind of horror tone, but since it’s all but a given that Jean is going to be okay, it’s hard not to feel like the tension is wasted or completely inappropriate. Still, overall very, very good.

A

Uncanny X-Men #282

Uncanny X-Men #282
Writing: Whilce Portacio and John Byrne
Art: Whilce Portacio

What Went Down: Forge and Xavier are playing the chess match they started in X-Men #5—even though it hasn’t come out yet in real time, it still occurs first in Marvel time. Forge uses a device to block Professor X’s powers so Xavier can’t cheat, but he still loses anyways. As they discuss a rematch, the Gold Squad shows up with Jean Grey’s body and a Sentinel head that Storm is somehow levitating with her powers—maybe it’s supposed to be wind, but it just looks like blue energy.

Storm is forced to explain that Fitzroy and the Sentinels escaped with the White Queen and the rest of the Hellions, even though nothing like that happened last issue. Xavier uses his powers and discovers that Jean is not dead because her psyche has survived.

Fitzroy surprises Shinobi in his bedroom with Donald Pierce’s head, but don’t worry, Pierce will be back. Fitzroy also shows him the unconscious Emma Frost, who now has Jean Grey’s mind inside of her. The time traveler wants Shinobi’s ring, and ends up cutting off his finger to get it, which seems kind of uncalled for.

Back at the mansion, the X-Men use the Sentinel head to find Fitzroy’s arctic base. Forge and the Professor both decide to accompany the Gold Squad as they rescue Jean/Emma.

Fitzroy’s sidekick Bantam appears for the first time. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t appear again in any of the main X-Men titles, but he does show up in some of the Bishop origin Minis that come up later.

The Blackbird arrives and Xavier comments that it was odd that he didn’t sense Emma Frost’s death. Of course, that’s because she’s not dead.

Strangely, the base contains more Hellion prisoners than actually existing Hellions; I guess Emma had recently expanded her school. Also strange, one of the Sentinels tells Fitzroy that he has detected the X-Men’s plane, and the moron basically ignores it. Instead, he kills Tarot(poor girl died twice in one story) and uses her energy to summon more henchmen from his home time. One of them decides he doesn’t want to be a lackey, so Fitzroy uses him as an example to demonstrate that any portals back to his home time are fatal to the traveler.

Jean attacks Fitzroy using Emma’s body; surprisingly, she has access to her own powers despite being in a different person’s body. The X-Men burst in, and a cool fight ensues. As all of Fitzroy’s henchmen and Sentinels are defeated, he absorbs and kills all of the remaining Hellions and uses their energy to bring even more evil mutants from his time. The Gold Squad is in danger of being overwhelmed until the arrival of Bishop…and of course his teammates Malcolm and Randall.

How It Was: Not outstanding, but next issue gets a lot better. This issue doesn’t start out very strongly, with Storm having to explain what should have happened at the end of last issue, except didn’t. Also, Xavier figures out that Jean is in Emma’s body really quickly, especially considering that later he brings up the fact that nothing like this has ever happened before.

Fitzroy’s also a problem as he is not a very spectacular villain. Having handed two mutant teams their behinds in the previous issue, this issue has him acting like a complete idiot. Despite having an army of the most sophisticated, futuristic Sentinels ever and an unlimited supply of henchmen, he still manages to be beaten really quickly. Why doesn’t he use the unstoppable suit of armor from the previous issue? You can also tell the Upstart concept hasn’t been that thought out yet since Shinobi and Fitzroy’s early hostile relationship bears no resemblance to their cold, professional one in later issues. Also, the significance of the ring is initially made out as the prize of the contest, even though it’s not and gets forgotten about after this story.

The art is pretty nice, except that there is a distinct deficit of background art, so it is difficult to get a sense of space for any of the settings. But the character designs for Fitzroy’s various henchmen are all varied and distinct, so the fight doesn’t get too boring, and I’ve always loved the Sentinels as villains—robots make for great fight scenes because the heroes can go all out on them without the censors getting angry.

Of course the big deal about this issue is the appearance of Bishop, who almost single handedly saves this title from mediocrity. Bishop’s a wonderful character; his appearance opens up a couple of interesting subplots. Plus, one of my favorite conventions of the super hero genre is the apocalyptic future where the heroes have lost, etc. Easily the most successful new X-character of the 90s, later writers struggled with making him relevant after his purpose was resolved, and his timeline was almost definitely averted. Still, in these early issues, he is an exciting contrast to the pacifist X-Men and their hopes and optimism.

C

Uncanny X-Men #281

Uncanny X-Men #281
Writing: Jim Lee, Whilce Portacio, and John Byrne
Art: Whilce Portacio

What Went Down: Our story starts with the unsuspecting Reavers drinking and discussing how boring it is being cyborg villains located in the middle of the Australian Outback. Suddenly, a squad of Sentinels shows up to kill them all.

Over in New York, the White Queen, Emma Frost, has invited the Gold Squad to a party at the Hellfire Club. Traditionally, the Hellfire Club was a group of evil mutants who wanted to control the world, but after this story they go through several different concepts.

Jean Grey is uncomfortable since the last time she was at the HC, she was coerced into becoming the Dark Phoenix and almost destroyed the universe. Actually, these aren’t her memories; they are the Phoenix’s, but after the Inferno storyline Jean gained all of the memories that the Phoenix had when it was impersonating her.

Meanwhile the rest of the team is talking with members of the Hellions: a group of students taught by Emma Frost who used to fight the New Mutants a lot. Iceman is flirting with Hellion member Roulette, while Hellion member Beef gets in Colossus’s face. The Hellion Empath tells them to stop, but later stories decided he wasn’t there, even though he clearly is.

Emma Frost slams a female soldier through the door, claiming that the mystery soldier was trying to kill her. This is the reason why she asked the X-Men to come.

Next, the reader is introduced to Shinobi Shaw, son of former Hellfire leader Sebastian Shaw, and Trevor Fitzroy, a time traveler from the future. Shinobi is in a pool surrounded by beautiful men and women to demonstrate how spoiled he is. They are discussing the Upstarts: a team of people competing for a prize by killing mutants to score points. Fitzroy is trying to become a member of the Upstarts after killing the Reavers (even though they were cyborgs, not mutants); Shinobi is in the lead because he allegedly killed his father, although Sebastian gets better. Fitzroy threatens Shaw and then leaves to go to the Hellfire Club.

In the meantime, Emma is using her powers to torture the assassin when Storm demands that she stop. This starts a battle between the Gold Team and the Hellions. Jean gets angry and stops them all with her powers, insisting that they should be helping each other. Fitzroy appears and kills the Hellion Jetstream.

Back in Australia, Donald Pierce and Lady Deathstrike are still fighting Fitzroy’s Sentinels. These Sentinels demonstrate that they can repair themselves automatically. Deathstrike escapes when she realizes that they are only after Pierce.

Pierce goes to the mute teleporting mutant/plot device Gateway and asks to be teleported to whoever is responsible. Since Fitzroy is at the HC, that’s where he goes with Sentinels pursuing.

Back in New York, Fitzroy kills Beef, and the X-Men and Hellions attack him. Fitzroy’s armor protects him from telepathy and grants him super strength and invisibility. We learn later that his mutant power is to absorb people’s life force to power portals between time and space.

The X-Men have Fitzroy under control until Pierce and the Sentinels pop in. Pierce gets killed, but he also comes back later, and the White Queen apparently gets killed, although she is actually just in a coma. The Sentinels also apparently kill Tarot, but she shows up in the next issue to get killed again by Fitzroy. Finally Jean Grey also apparently gets killed, but we all know that isn’t going to stick.  Please note the emphasis on apparently in all of these cases.

The issue ends with Senator Kelly storming into the completely decimated club and demanding that the X-Men be held accountable for endangering people; they respond by showing Jean’s apparent corpse, but she isn’t really dead, I promise.

How It Was: Ah, finally an adventure starring the Gold Team. Although it features arguably the less interesting of the two squads, there are still a lot of major developments with this issue—namely the deaths of a whole lot of characters. Of course these are comic book deaths, so most of them are currently alive and kicking again, but at the time this felt pretty significant. Unfortunately, the concept of the Upstarts is pretty limited since their whole purpose is to kill mutants for points, and you can’t have major characters dying every other issue. It’s also difficult to get worked up about the Upstarts themselves, since the concept kind of fizzles after the introduction of the Legacy Virus, when creators just decided to end the concept over in X-Force and the New Warriors. So there is no closure to this storyline to be had in the pages of X-Men. Fitzroy might also be another question mark for present fans, but he was a major bad guy at the time and has a lot to do with Bishop’s origin.

The characterization is hit or miss. I really like Jean’s foreboding feelings about returning to the Hellfire Club since they act as a good connection to her history and also act as foreshadowing for her eventual “death” at the end of the issue. The rest of the team is kind of bland; the Gold Team never had the chemistry or humor that the Blue Squad did, although Iceman tries his darndest. Some of the dialogue is just out of place; why does Storm feel it is necessary to remark that Fitzroy’s powers are similar to the Super Skrull when there is absolutely no connection between the two characters? Plus once the Hellions start dropping, nobody acts concerned other than Emma; Iceman even cracks some inappropriate jokes which further deter the seriousness that should be present, but isn’t. These are characters that fans have known for a very long time, and one could argue that their deaths aren’t allowed enough impact. Also, the ending is horribly flubbed, but more on that next issue.

B-