X-Men #30

X-Men #30
Writing: Fabian Nicieza
Art: Andy Kubert

What Went Down: We open on a touching letter that Wolverine has sent Scott and Jean, telling them that he cannot attend their wedding. He wishes them the best, tells them they are meant for each other, and sends his “love” in some surprisingly nice handwriting. Jean is getting her dress fitted with Storm, her mother, and Rachel Summers; everybody expresses their love and excitement.

All of the original male X-Men are talking with Scott and trying to tie his bowtie. Luckily Professor X shows up to show them how to do it, and shares some touching sentiments. Then there’s a wedding…it’s actually quite uneventful.

During the wedding, the X-Men have apparently asked Sabretooth to sit on the lawn in the snow and hang out. He contemplates doing something mischievous until he discovers a message from Wolverine written in the snow.

In case you care, Rogue catches the bouquet, and Gambit catches the garter. Jean uses her telekinesis to let her dance with the Professor. After the wedding, Scott and Xavier share another tender moment where they say they love each other and are thankful to know each other. Later, going through his mail, Xavier finds a note from Moira that says Cable might hold the key to a Legacy vaccine; this doesn’t go anywhere. He then takes the time to open a letter to him from Wolverine that simply tells him to lighten up.

How It Was: This issue is meant to be really warm and heartfelt, but it always comes off to me as a little dull. I understand why it happened in X-Men, since it was the more popular title at the time, but I can’t help and think that this issue would have been a lot more successful in Scott Lobdell’s hands. Not that Nicieza does a godawful job; it’s just nothing spectacular for an event that was hyped to the extreme.

One real problem is the overabundance of narration from Professor X. Because not a lot is actually happening in this issue, it falls to Xavier’s narration boxes to try to frame the events as undeniably important and touching. Even the attempts at humor from Lila Cheney and the Beast fall a little flat. The only really interesting part is the letter from Wolverine, but it raises the question of how he found out, and why his handwriting is so pretty.

Perhaps the real problem is that this issue doesn’t mean much as far as the status quo for Scott and Jean is concerned. At this point, Cyclops and Jean Grey were pretty much inseparable, and nothing really ever changes within the dynamic of their relationship. They’re still the lovey dovey pair of X-Men, and that doesn’t really change until Grant Morrison’s run a little over a decade from this point.

While the story is fairly dull, the art looks very nice. Poor Andy Kubert has to draw all of the X-Men, plus a ton of supporting characters and guest stars, in formal wear and he does an admirable job of making sure everyone looks unique. Jean’s dress looks really nice and fancy, and everything is bright and cheery. Ideally, the wedding should have only been about half an issue, with the other half dedicated to things to come. I guess you could complement the creators on the fact that the issue actually feels like a wedding, but I don’t think that that’s the tone the X-Men should really be striving for. Important, but sappy and unexciting.

C-

Uncanny X-Men #310

Uncanny X-Men #310
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: John Romita Jr.

What Went Down: The opening splash involves Banshee and Cyclops responding to an intruder alert, which is postponing their journey to Cyclops’ bachelor party. They enter the Danger Room to discover a program replaying Cyclops’ past with X-Factor, specifically the scene when he had to give up his son Nathan to the Askani so he could be cured of a techno-organic virus in the future. Cyclops shuts down the Danger Room with an optic blast. It turns out that Cable is the one responsible for programming the scene to play; Cable is curious about an invitation to Cyclops’ wedding, so Cyclops asks Banshee to leave so he can have a long talk with his son.

At the party, all of the X-Men, plus Nightcrawler, are waiting for Cyclops’ arrival. Bishop doesn’t understand the purpose of marriage, leading to a lecture on relations in the future, leading to all of the heroes begging him to shut up.

Following Cable’s bodyslide signal, the X-Cutioner teleports into another part of the mansion. Meanwhile, Cable is convinced that Cyclops abandoned him. Cyclops is angered by these accusations, so he brings up another simulation that shows him breaking down and questioning his decision. Cyclops tells Cable how much he regrets not being able to raise him, and Cable tells him that it is okay because there were two people who helped bring him up. These two people turn out to be a time displaced Cyclops and Jean Grey, but this occurs after their wedding in their own mini-series. At the party, Gambit is attempting to stir up animosity against Sabretooth. Back at the mansion, Sabretooth smells an intruder from his cell, and he calls Cyclops and Cable to let them know.

It turns out that the X-Cutioner’s master plan is to kill Emma Frost because he thinks she is responsible for the deaths of the Hellions, and killing evil mutants is his gimmick. Cyclops and Cable defeat him pretty easily. Cable says he’ll attend the wedding and teleports Scott to his bachelor party.

How It Was: This month’s Uncanny dives headfirst into the quagmire that is X-continuity, and the results are pretty good. Up to this point Cable and Cyclops’ relationship hadn’t really been addressed, due to the fact that it is a weird mixture of time travel and soap opera. Lobdell finds a good balance by approaching Cable as an abandoned son and ignoring the absurd fact that Cable is now older than his father. By having Cyclops reconcile with his son, we also get some scenes that build on the original X-Factor stories that really underplayed Scott’s initial reactions.

The bachelor party scenes are okay, but really they’re just reiterating points that have already been addressed in other issues; Gambit doesn’t like Sabretooth, Archangel is somewhat jealous of Cyclops, Bishop talks too much about the future. The villain of the issue is also kind of underwhelming; X-Cutioner’s only real purpose is to remind us that Emma Frost is still around and establish that she’s been in the mansion for the past two years so Lobdell can dust her off and use her in the next couple of issues. Plus it feels like the villain could have found a stronger motivation to kill her since Emma used to be a pretty major villain in her day.

The art is not really representative of Romita’s best work. While the majority of it is good, there are some scratchy looking panels, especially the X-Factor flashback with baby Nate. His Cable sometimes has shoulders that are too wide (although he is definitely not the only artist to have this problem), and I’ve always felt that he draws Sabretooth too skinny. Consequently it’s not an amazing issue, but it does have some pretty good character moments for Cyke and Cable to recommend.

B

X-Men #29

X-Men #29
Writing: Fabian Nicieza
Art: Andy Kubert

What Went Down: Sabretooth and Psylocke are having a rematch in the Danger Room. Professor X and the Beast are hesitant about this, but feel it is necessary to allow Creed to get some exercise and test his new manacles. Betsy gets Creed at swordpoint, vindicating herself after her embarrassment last issue. Psylocke’s behavior borders on flirting with Sabretooth, causing Archangel, Beast, and the Professor to wonder about her. Beast asks Warren about his on again/off again relationship with Charlotte Jones…apparently it is off again. Warren spends a couple of pages brooding about how alone he is, until Jubilee brings by the mail and gives Warren an invitation to the Hellfire Club.

Psylocke walks in, and the two discuss their families’ histories with the Hellfire Club, as well as the Inner Circle’s battles with the X-Men. Warren and Betsy decide that they should go to the party to see what the Circle is up to.

At the Hellfire Club, Betsy and Warren mingle with all of the rich people, and the couple bumps into Dwayne Taylor—Night Thrasher of the New Warriors. He’s hanging out at the Club because he’s about to take part in the Child’s Play crossover that ends the Upstarts storyline. They also run into Ronald Parvenue, a character who claims to be a friend of Warren’s father who then disappears. The two X-Men are next approached by Tessa—Shinobi Shaw’s assistant who later turns out to be a spy working for Professor Xavier. She leads them to a hall away from the party, and then she knocks them both unconscious.

Both characters wake up in a basement room wearing even fancier clothes. Shinobi Shaw is sitting on a chair near them; surprise, he wants them to join the new Inner Circle. After Shaw attacks Psylocke, Archangel flips out and a big fight ensues. Both characters get in a stalemate where if Shaw solidifies his body, both characters will die. While they’re fighting, Psylocke wakes up, sneaks up on the villain, and uses her psyblade on him, causing him to have multiple flashbacks about being abused by his father Sebastian, but loved and comforted by his warm mother. Archangel tells him that he’s empty inside, and the issue closes on Shinobi Shaw sitting alone looking sad.

How It Was: This issue is an experiment in trying to shine the spotlight on two of the less popular X-Men, and unfortunately it fails for the most part. At this point the X-offices have realized that the Psylocke/Revanche stuff isn’t working too well, so the idea here is to shift the focus to another aspect of Betsy’s character, namely her wealth and affluence. And who has that in common with her? And thus begins the infamous Archangel/Psylocke relationship. A relationship that no one would question in real life (two pretty, rich people getting together seems common sense), but within the context of a monthly narrative, there wasn’t really anywhere for the relationship to go. It doesn’t have the conflict of the Gambit/Rogue relationship or the familiarity of the Scott/Jean relationship; there just isn’t a lot here for the writers’ to explore and this starts to show in future issues.

But enough with that tangent, the actual issue is what I’m here to talk about. The first half is standard, by-the-book continuance of already established plot lines. Both Sabretooth living at the mansion and the Cyclops/Jean Grey wedding get mentioned so readers don’t forget about them. There is some gratuitous brooding by Warren over his appearance and his inability to stay in a relationship. Then the issue takes a weird turn with Shinobi Shaw’s big plan of the day—asking Psylocke and Warren to join him. It just feels like Nicieza was struggling to create a conflict for this issue, and Shinobi’s actions don’t even make sense. If he wants the X-Men to join him, why attack them and then ask them? Having the resolution involve the revelation of Shinobi as a spoiled brat with daddy issues is pretty anti-climactic and reveals what a boring character he is. Sebastian Shaw was a master manipulator who carried a level of stoicism and sophistication, and it is obvious that his whiney son can’t hold a candle to him.

The art is very good, but I will mention that in an issue that is trying to build up Psylocke as a character, it is hard to take her seriously when her boobs are always gratuitously on display. One scene in particular where she and Warren are reading mail in the living room, and both her shirt and the tiny jacket she is wearing are wide open at the top, feels particularly uncalled for. This issue does tie in to an annual coming up where Shaw asks Storm to join the Inner Circle, but after that Shinobi will thankfully disappear from the pages of X-Men. This issue is just another false start for a story that never happens. Between the lame villain and the lack of any real developments, this issue is definitely for hardcore fans only. At the very least I respect it for trying to develop two characters who had been out of the spotlight for a long time, but I can’t say that it succeeded in inspiring any interest in them.

C-