Uncanny X-Men #342

Uncanny X-Men #342
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down: The X-Men appear in a spaceship after being teleported from New York last issue. Gladiator obviously hasn’t planned this mission very well since the ship the X-Men materialize in is out of control, with questionable life support functions. Poor Beast has to figure out how to make the ship work, and eventually gets it to slow down. But once the ship finally compensates for passengers, the X-Men learn that they are heading right for an asteroid field. The X-Men have to choose between staying the course and reaching the star gate, or going around the asteroids and missing it. Joseph volunteers to move the asteroids with his powers, and oddly Gambit is the only one who backs him up on his choice. The X-Men make it to the gate and decide that they’re needed in Shi’ar space, so they take the ship through.

Back at the mansion, Cannonball tells the rest of the X-Men what happened to the X-Men in space. Wolverine is not very happy about it.

On the ship, Joseph thanks Gambit for supporting him, and Gambit alludes that untrustworthy people need to stick together. Beast tries to apologize to Trish for getting her caught up in this deadly mission, but in the long tradition of comic book reporter girlfriends (Lois Lane, Vicki Vale, April O’Neil, Roxanne Simpson, Melita Garner, etc.), Trish is excited for the opportunity to be along for the adventure, as long as she can get a scoop. Oh, and she manages to find some midriff-revealing space battle armor to wear.

In the mansion, Cyclops is attempting to contact the Shi’ar, but fails. Wolverine suggests following them into space, but Storm cautions that with the anti-mutant climate the way it is, the rest of the X-Men are probably needed on Earth.

Back in space, everybody else finds new space armor costumes. Why? Probably to sell action figures. Bishop is contemplating how out of place he feels. Even though he’s been with the X-Men for a while, he doesn’t really consider them true friends. Rogue gives him a pep talk about how it takes time to find a place with people, but the ship coming out of the stargate interrupts them. They come out in front of a devastated flotilla of war ships from the Shi’ar; the computer explains that they are no life signs on any of the ships, but the X-Men go to investigate anyways.

On one of the ships, Rogue and Beast realize that right now it’s Christmas on Earth. Also, someone stole the power core of the ship. Joseph finds that he can’t use his powers on the alien metals, while Gambit thinks about his own dark secrets. Even though the computer said there were no life signs, Bishop discovers a badly injured Deathbird who begs them to save the Shi’ar.

How It Was: Well, this story sure declined in quality fast. For many X-Men readers, adventures in space tend to frustrate them because it is really getting away from the themes of the book. Now I’m not one of those readers, I think some of the best X-Men stories have involved the Shi’ar and the Imperial Guard, but this isn’t one of them. The issue doesn’t even get off to a great start when the X-Men meet their first in a series of unnatural, completely forced conflicts. Why does Gladiator send the X-Men onto a ship that is about to kill them? I don’t know. Why are they going towards an asteroid field? I don’t know. There is no logic behind any of these events and it really hurts the credibility of the story and takes me completely out of it. Plus it’s just not interesting.

While Lobdell tries to take a quiet moment for his characters to reflect, even these bits feel more forced than usual. Bishop’s view of the X-Men as not his real friends seems pretty forced, especially after all the trouble Beast, Gambit, and Storm have been going to in the various X-Books. Yes, as a time traveler in the distant past, Bishop is entitled to feel out of place, but this really feels like Lobdell is ignoring some developments of the character so it feels more natural when he’s written out of the book in a couple of issues. Beast and Trish’s conversation is about what you’d expect, yet Gambit and Joseph’s relationship feels like it’s getting some complexity since you can’t really tell what Remy’s motivations are.

The new costumes are generic looking and completely unnecessary, but what are you going to do? Joe Mad’s art does provide some pretty amazing looking spaceships to see. But there are plenty of sci-fi comics to see spaceships in (heck, Marvel has its own cosmic line of books that are primarily about traveling through outer space). By itself, this feels like a dragged out episode, which doesn’t have any compelling conflicts to drive the story. Instead of spending an issue getting to the abandoned ships, there’s no real reason the issue couldn’t have started there instead. Very disappointing after the last issue.

D+

Uncanny X-Men #341

Uncanny X-Men #341
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira 

What Went Down: It’s Christmas Eve in New York, and the X-Men are out on the town. Beast invites his teammates to join him for dinner with his girlfriend Trish Tilby, but everyone has other plans: Joseph has a surprise for Rogue, Gambit is trying to avoid Joseph and Rogue, and Bishop just wants to spend a quiet evening alone. Cannonball wants to take up the offer, but he still has to do some last minute Christmas shopping for his siblings.

On his way to the toy store, Sam reflects on the events of the past year, but he is still able to muster some good old-fashioned Christmas cheer. Of course, when he reaches the store, it’s a madhouse and nothing he wants to buy is still available. Luckily for us readers, an alien pops out of a portal in the middle of the store and interrupts Sam’s shopping. The alien just happens to be Gladiator of the Shi’ar Imperial Guard, and he is searching for the X-Men.

At the same time, Joseph uses his powers to lift a horse and carriage through the air to create a romantic atmosphere for Rogue. The carriage driver thanks Joseph for the experience and talks about how he’s figured out that most mutants are decent people. In a little aside, the Marvel Universe version of Marvel editor Bob Harras is working late in the office, but he decides to go home and see his family upon witnessing the floating carriage.

Back in the city, Cannonball and Gladiator get into a fight because Sam assumes Gladiator is attacking him. Cannonball holds his own fairly well against an opponent that is supposed to be invincible.

On top of the World Trade Center (yes, this is pre-9/11), Joseph has moved the Z’nox chamber to the roof and modified it to block Rogue’s powers. Rogue is hesitant, but Joseph is able to use the machine and give her a kiss on the forehead.

Back at the fight, Gladiator prepares to throw Cannonball into the sun. Cannonball is able to use his blast shield to absorb the force of Gladiator’s attack. Then, right when Gladiator sees that Sam is fine and begins to doubt himself, Sam is able to knock him out. The other X-Men show up after seeing the fight from far away, and Gladiator begs for their help in rescuing the Shi’ar Empire after being forbidden to interfere by Lilandra. Gladiator uses some devices to teleport all the X-Men and Trish Tilby (but minus Cannonball) to a waiting space ship. Gladiator claims he can’t send Sam because it wouldn’t be honorable to send a youth into battle, and hopes the X-Men succeed for the sake of the universe.

How It Was: This issue feature one of my least favorite genre conventions in it: the fight between two characters with common interests who can’t find the time to stop and talk about the situation. Plus it’s a holiday issue, so there is a good chance that this could’ve turned out hokey. But Lobdell manages to squeeze out some really great moments to make this rise above the mediocrity that has been plaguing recent issues of the series.

First off, I have to say that this is the coolest Sam Guthrie has been since leaving X-Force. After disappearing for no reason in the middle of Onslaught, then being assigned to watch Graydon Creed only to do nothing as the candidate was assassinated, Cannonball has not had a lot to do recently. And even before that he was being portrayed as a bumbling novice who was overly intimidated by the X-Men. Here Cannonball gets to shine by taking on an adversary with the powers of Superman, and it is just great. Sure the motivating factors behind the fight are lacking since Gladiator really should’ve just explained his purpose instead of wasting his time trying to kill the person he needs help from. But it’s an impressive fight, and even though it has no purpose as far as the story is concerned, it does succeed in reminding readers of how cool Cannonball can be.

The other standout moments revolve around Rogue and Joseph. The visual of the carriage floating through the city over skyscrapers is pretty stunning in it of itself, although I could do with out the driver’s drawn out explanation about his principles. The part that works perfectly is of course, the kiss. Lobdell has always excelled in the area of characterization and relationships, and here he shows that he understands what romance truly is. Instead of going for the clichéd, over-the-top makeout scene that most creators would have gone for in the nineties, Lobdell has Joseph give Rogue a subtle kiss on the forehead. It’s an elegant, tender moment that demonstrates how to make people care about a relationship; it’s not about sex, it’s about compassion and gentleness, and Joe Mad renders Rogue’s reaction pitch perfect. It’s a genuinely great emotional moment, and probably the highlight of Joseph’s stint as an X-Man.

In fact, Madureira is firing on all cylinders with this issue, which is odd since it’s mostly a quiet, contemplative issue. From the skyline of New York, to the ice skater in the background of a snowy central park, Madureira just makes the issue feel like Christmas and captures the beauty and electricity of winter in the city. Even his scene in the toy store manages to capture the right tone while containing a wealth of movement and chaos.

The issue does have its head slapping moments. It is really contrived that Gladiator would just happen to show up in the toy store that Cannonball was shopping in, but I can let that one go. The real head-smacker occurs at the end, after Cannonball has wiped the floor with the invulnerable Gladiator, and then Gladiator sends all the X-Men against their will into space except for the guy that just beat. He makes up some dumb excuse about it being dishonorable to send a youth into battle, but the idiot Gladiator just sent the powerless Trish Tilby up with the X-Men to go on his suicide mission. It really makes absolutely no sense whatsoever after a whole issue building Sam up.

Still, this is the best Uncanny is going to be for a long while. Even though I’ve said it a million times before, I’ll say it again. This is where Lobdell’s strengths lie—in these quiet, contemplative issues that take the time to explore the heads of a couple of characters to see where they are at emotionally. It’s a lot of fun and actually handles emotion well without feeling corny or heavy-handed. This one is definitely worth a look, especially for Rogue and Cannonball fans.

A

Cable #42

Cable #42
Writing: Todd Dezago
Art: Randy Green

What Went Down: In the Swiss Alps, a monk is visited by a projection of Sanctity, member of the Askani from the future. She tells him that he must ready the Askani’son, Cable. He must be prepared to either accept his role or be annihilated.

As for the main story, Cable is in the middle of a mosh pit for the first time in his life. He and Storm are undercover at a Lila Cheney concert—on the lookout for Callisto, who is planning to attack the event. Cable is perplexed by the ritual of moshing and worries about Storm’s claustrophobia in such a tight, dark place. Storm explains she is determined to fulfill her responsibility to the Morlocks when Calisto and Marrow appear.

Storm is surprised to see Marrow alive, since Storm ripped her heart out of her chest back in Uncanny #325, but such is the way of comics. Cable fights the Morlocks while the crowd panics. Storm is crushed against the crowd and starts to lose control, unleashing lightning outside. One of Lila’s disguised alien bodyguards grabs Cable, mistaking him for a troublemaker. Calisto and Marrow escape, and all the while Lila just keeps singing.

Storm and Cable leave out the back and go flying to catch their breaths; they discuss how the mutant Thornn tipped them off to Calisto’s activities. Meanwhile, Calisto and Marrow regroup outside as well. Calisto insists that she be the one to kill Storm and tells Marrow to give the people inside a warning before triggering the explosives they planted. She also explains how Marrow was able to survive Storm’s attack in Uncanny #325; it turns out that Marrow was born with two hearts. Of course, that makes perfect sense!

Outside on the roof of the club, Storm apologizes to Cable for freaking out. A guy trying to get into the concert is scared away by another of the alien guards as Cable reenters the club. On the roof, Calisto confronts Storm, calling her naive when the humans are preparing genocide for mutants. Storm counters that terrorism is for the weak and cowardly.

Back in the concert, Cable runs into Thornn, who came to help stop Calisto and Marrow. Marrow attacks Cable from behind. While Storm fights Calisto, she questions the Morlock about the location of the bomb. Inside, Cable gets in a knife fight with Marrow and tries to offer her a place where she’ll be accepted. Marrow rejects it and tells him that the explosives are rigged to blow when Lila hits a high note at the end of her song; she doesn’t know that Cable is a telepath and able to contact Lila mentally and tell her not to sing the note.

When there is no explosion, Storm announces that the heroes have won, but Calisto explains that the bomb will still go off ten seconds after the music stops. Storm warns Cable telepathically and Thornn locates the bomb. Cable throws it to Lila, who uses her teleportation powers to get rid of it. Afterwards, Cable worries back stage about how close they are to genetic war; since Cable is from the future, he remembers that important events are about to take place now from his history.

How It Was: This is a random one-off in Cable that actually sets up a lot of events in the X-Men books to come, so it’s worth taking a look at. This simple story has a lot of holes in its plot, starting with the antagonists themselves. Calisto and Marrow are back as the main villains, which is incredibly surprising considering last time we saw them, one of them was trying to help stop the murdering of innocent humans and the other had her heart ripped out. Even after coming up with a lazy reason for Marrow to not be dead, their evil scheme still doesn’t make any sense. Why would Calisto tell Marrow to warn the people before the bomb goes off? Doesn’t that defeat the whole purpose? And if the bomb was set to go off after the music stops, wouldn’t warning the crowd be a bad idea?

Then again, maybe it wouldn’t matter if Marrow warned the crowd or not, since this appears to be a very stupid crowd. Cable and the Morlocks supposedly cause a near riot with their fight, but later there are plenty of people still at the concert. Are they that oblivious? Shouldn’t they be running for their lives instead of standing around while two mutants have a kung fu knife fight? The plot itself feels very stock; I’m pretty sure I’ve seen the bomb set off by a certain note in a number of cartoons like Inspector Gadget over the years. Ignoring the silliness of it, the way it plays out still doesn’t make a lot of sense.

So what does work? Well the prologue is pretty interesting with its cryptic foreshadowing of Nathan’s future role in the war against Apocalypse. That is until you learn that Nate’s role is actually nonexistent in that “final battle,” but don’t worry, that isn’t for years to come.

Also, Storm and Cable both work well together; the X-offices had been vaguely hinting at a romance between the two for a while, and it actually seems like it might work here. Storm does come off as a little weak and dumb by putting herself in such a situation in the first place, but her guilt over the Morlocks is a convincing enough motivation for her presence. Cable’s not exactly a standout solo hero; while he’s obviously tough, there’s just nothing to really set him apart, like a sense of humor or unique powers. Then again, he does have some fun moments in the mosh pit, and the writer seems to be slowly building up his significance as a time traveler/savior.

The art is decent, especially when it comes to the design of the alien bodyguard or the action and lighting of the mosh pit. The action isn’t anything to write home about, and the plot is a little incoherent, but it does do an average job of setting up the X-Men’s struggle to keep human relations from devolving any further.

C