Season's Greetings and Apologies

Hi everybody!  Sorry I haven't posted in a very long time; work and school have been a nightmare of late.  Hopefully this January I can get back on a regular schedule.  I just wanted to let all of you know that I haven't given up on the site, I've just been busy.  Coming up, we have all of Operation Zero Tolerance, Flashback month (ah memories), and the beginning of Joe Kelly's run on X-Men: one of my favorite runs of all time.  So I"ll see you all next year!

No Post This Week...

Sorry, but I am positively swamped right now working two jobs and struggling to finish up my schoolwork...and on top of that I just bought Batman: Arkham City even though I know I shouldn't have. Combine that with the mediocre quality of X-books that I'm at and well, I just need a week or two off.  I do have Friday off, so maybe I'll get something out by this weekend.

X-Men #64

X-Men #64
Writing: Scott Lobdell and Ben Raab
Art: Carlos Pacheco

What Went Down: The Kingpin announces that the heroes have come a long way to die. Wolverine wants to attack, but Jean holds him back. Kingpin reveals that he has Cannonball hooked up to a machine that will inject him in the heart with the experimental cure, potentially killing him. In the docking bay, Sebastian Shaw kills two guards and enters Fujikawa.

Back in the upper levels, Jean wraps Sam in a telekinetic bubble to prevent the needles from going in. Kingpin releases Cannonball after threatening the X-Men. Kingpin then recaps his defeat by Daredevil, brings up Shang-Chi’s father again, and mentions that he is not interested in immortality. He knows the price people will pay for a drop of the fluid.

Back in America, in the base of Operation: Zero Tolerance, Jubilee is contemplating her fate as Bastion continues to try to convince her that he has defeated the X-Men. Bastion tells her that all she can do is pray.

Cyclops telepathically conferences with the X-Men; they conclude that the Kingpin will destroy the serum before giving it up. Shaw and an army of ninjas show up to escalate the situation. Just when the final battle is about to begin, Storm decides that they can’t have a battle without taking casualties, so she destroys all of the Elixir Vitae with her powers. Immediately after this, she regrets her decision. The X-Men leave and Shang-Chi announces that the X-Men will cure Legacy on their own terms.

On the plane home, Cannonball contemplates an aphorism Shang-Chi told him. The X-Men explain it to him, and he acts mystified. Storm feels sorry for herself for destroying a potential cure, but the forces of Operation Zero Tolerance attacking their plane interrupt her.

How It Was: After the endings of the Storm/Candra story and the Phalanx Space story in Uncanny, were you expecting an ending here that was climactic and satisfying? Because if you were, then you are pretty bad at identifying patterns. This issue features a lot of the same from the last two issues: more mentions of Shang Chi’s father, more speculation over the healing properties of the Elixir Vitae, and more discussion of the Legacy Virus. It’s a very slow build, but you think it’ll be worth it for the end battle, but then it never comes.

This wouldn’t be so bad if Lobdell, or maybe Raab, had properly set up the need for Storm to take matters into her own hands. Unfortunately the threat just isn’t there. Wolverine and Shang-Chi handled the ninjas by themselves in the first issue, the Kingpin’s traps are easily avoided with the X-Men’s powers, and the Kingpin himself isn’t a threat to any of them. He may work as a menacing Spider-Man or Daredevil villain, but all his threats come off as empty to heroes who can control the weather or shoot force blasts that can level mountains. Storm’s actions come off as completely unnecessary, all the more so when she chastises herself for doing it a panel later. It’s an unearned moment that is supposed to be powerful, but isn’t; it just doesn’t work. Plus, couldn’t the Kingpin just make more? Why would he have his only source of the formula in the same room with a handful of incredibly powerful mutants?

Once again Shang-Chi has literally nothing to do for the entire issue; it makes you wonder why the heck he was even in this story. No amount of meaningfully analytic thought bubbles can hide the fact that this guest star has no purpose. This feels a lot like it might have been an abandoned story idea for Shang-Chi by himself. Without the X-Men, the Kingpin would’ve been a suitable threat and the choice would’ve had more weight to it. Also it drives me crazy that Cannonball can’t understand a simple proverb from Shang-Chi and needs it explained; just because a character is young and from the South, it doesn’t mean they have to be dense! The most successful Rogue stories have been ones that treat her as intelligent, and the same goes with Cannonball.

This story had some promise, but it squandered it all by not wanting to commit or further any storylines. The art is nice, but unfortunately most of it is of people standing around and threatening each other. There just isn’t enough of a threat to the heroes for this story to be compelling whatsoever.

D

X-Men #63

X-Men #63
Writing: Scott Lobdell and Ben Raab
Art: Carlos Pacheco

What Went Down: In the middle of downtown Hong Kong, Shang-Chi, the Master of Kung-Fu, and the rest of the X-Men are attacked by a group of technologically enhanced ninjas. Each of the ninjas announces his or her name and power as they fight the heroes. Shang-Chi notes the attraction between Jean and Wolverine and the leadership of Cyclops; he even helps Cyclops out when the girl, Katana, attacks him. Storm deals with a ninja named Fist, and once all the ninjas are dealt with Sebastian Shaw shows up.

Jean overreacts to Shaw’s appearance by crushing him under a car; she realizes that this was a mistake and blames it on her feelings associated with Shaw’s manipulation of the Phoenix into Dark Phoenix. Of course, hitting Shaw with the car allows him to absorb the kinetic energy of the crash, charging him up. Storm and Shaw agree to move the discussion elsewhere, and Shang-Chi notes that Cannonball has disappeared. As for Sam, he has stowed away on a rickshaw, using his blasting power to keep him from weighing the vehicle down.

At the Hong Kong branch of the Hellfire Club, Cyclops comforts Jean, and she mentions something sinister on the horizon. Shaw tries to convince the X-Men that he is trying to close the deal for the Elixir Vitae for the benefit of human and mutant kind. Later in his lab, he receives a disk with data on all the characters who have contracted the Legacy Virus thus far, including Moira MacTaggert, Multiple Man, Illyana Rasputin, and others. The disk comes from Rory Cambell, an assistant of Moira’s who gives Shaw the data in the hope that Shaw can find a cure before Moira dies of the disease.

Shaw leads the X-Men to the Hong Kong branch of Fujikawa Enterprises, a weapons company that used to be merged with Tony Stark. At the same time, Cannonball has infiltrated the lab, but he is stopped by a mysterious bald man. The X-Men and Shang-Chi break into the offices only to find that the mastermind behind this plot is the Kingpin.

How It Was: This issue opens up with some great action. Although these villains are pretty one-dimensional, they have some great designs and Pacheco’s art demonstrates that their powers make them an impressive threat. The art just carries the action phenomenonally.

Poor Shang-Chi still has nothing to do in this story except admire the X-Men and listen to people like Shaw as they continue to bring up his father and the Elixir Vitae. Cannonball gets to go off on a mission, but then gets captured by a powerless super villain, further showing that the X-offices don’t know how to handle the character. And as for the reveal of the Kingpin, I can’t say it’s really that interesting. Sure you don’t see it coming, because at this point it could be anyone in the Marvel Universe, but he’s not really a character that anybody believes could be a threat to the X-Men, and he doesn’t really have anything to do with them.

Really, this issue should be taking more time to acknowledge Sebastian Shaw’s return, since he was supposed to be dead. I guess he made an appearance in X-Man earlier, but he’s a more significant bad guy to the X-Men, and the Kingpin seems redundant in a story with Shaw. After all, how many rich, manipulative villains with vast criminal networks do you need in one story?

The story does feel like it’s building its pace here, even if a lot of the exposition about the Elixir Vitae is repeated from last issue. The action in the beginning is well rendered and the story gets to where it needs to by the end. With all the mentioning of the Legacy Virus and its victims, it would’ve been nice if the subplot had picked up after this story. Instead, it gets forgotten for Operation Zero Tolerance, and it isn’t picked up again for years. Really though, that’s more of a problem with next issue.

B+

X-Men #62

X-Men #62
Writing: Scott Lobdell and Ben Raab
Art: Carlos Pacheco

What Went Down: We begin outside of the Scottish home of British Secret Service agent Clive Reston. Shang-Chi—The Master of Kung-Fu has been summoned by his former handler, but he doesn’t know what for. Outside the door, an army of ninjas belonging to the order of his deceased father attacks Shang-Chi. Shang holds his own until the ninjas pull out guns. Luckily for him, Wolverine shows up to lend a hand. Because this is a super hero comic book, Shang-Chi has to mistake Logan for an enemy and attack him, but Wolverine is pretty quick to put Shang in his place. Storm prevents him from going too far.

Later, after being introduced to the X-Men, Shang-Chi thinks about how interesting they are. He senses Jean and Cyclops observing him and flings a statue at them. Clive Reston shows up to deliver the exposition to Shang and the X-Men. The death of Shang-Chi’s father left a power vacuum in China that is being filled by the Hellfire Club. The club is seeking to recreate the Elixir Vitae, a potion Shang-Chi’s father tried to use to live forever. It is believed by Sebastian Shaw that the elixir might be used to cure the Legacy Virus, and in turn the Inner Circle would use that fact to exploit people and make billions.

In another part of Hong Kong, a mysterious villain contemplates how soon the British territorial claim will expire on the city. One of his minions tells him that the heroes are on their way. Downtown, the heroes are driving down the crowded streets in cars, or maybe they’re parked…I can’t really tell. Anyways, one of the cars the X-Men are using is attacked. Jean puts up a teke shield just in time for the team to confront a group of four cyborg ninjas (not to be confused with the Cyburai).

How It Was: Alright, X-Men finally has a regular penciller again. Carlos Pacheco comes on board, and even though this isn’t the most auspicious story to debut on, he really makes the most of it. His opening pages of a moonlit mansion on the water are just gorgeous and his action sequences featuring the ninjas are nicely posed and organized. My one complaint would be his version of Troll Wolverine, but then again I’ve never liked anyone’s version of Troll Wolverine; Pacheco’s pretty much looks like Sabretooth with Wolverine’s haircut and extra arm hair. It’s a very pretty looking story, though.

As for what’s actually going on, poor Scott Lobdell is being stretched really thin with writing duties for three X-books. Ben Raab is brought in to do dialogue, and while it’s adequate, it definitely doesn’t have that Lobdell touch. Most of it is unnecessary internal exposition from Shang-Chi as he shares his impressions on every single detail of the story. There is also a particularly wordy lecture from the shadowy villain about the history of Hong Kong and China that is fit into a single panel.

Looking past the dialog, this story is just odd. Some readers might’ve gotten excited by the idea that the Legacy plotline was about to be furthered… it’s not, so don’t get your hopes up. What’s really strange is the inclusion of Shang-Chi, a character that hasn’t had any real success since the seventies and early eighties. If Marvel’s idea was to test the waters to see if readers wanted a Shang-Chi solo title, surely they could’ve done better than this; the Master of Kung-Fu doesn’t even get to look that great since Wolverine drops him in two panels. Plus Shang-Chi just doesn’t have a lot to do here; he gets to gush internally about how awesome the X-Men are and then takes their presence as a threat and attacks them. His history is used as a vague justification for the story, but really Shang-Chi himself isn’t needed for this story, since Clive Reston could’ve just filled the X-Men in himself, being one of Wolverine’s numerous old war buddies. In case you’re wondering why Shang’s father isn’t mentioned by name, that’s because the character’s name was Fu Manchu (the Yellow Claw) and he was a vaguely racist Chinese stereotype from the seventies. Definitely not a character to bring up in the politically correct era of the 90s.

This is just all set up. It introduces us to one of the most random guest stars in any X-book, and ties some obscure twenty-year-old stories together as a potential plot thread to the Legacy Virus. Even most of the X-Men are basically standing around this issue, waiting for some action to happen. Still, it’s not blatantly bad, just a little slow and a bit out of left field.

B-

Generation X #27

Generation X #27
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Chris Bachalo

What Went Down: Let’s catch up with the captive Jubilee in Generation X. Bastion presents a battered visor to Jubilee in hopes of convincing her that Cyclops has been killed. Jubilee refuses to believe him, so Bastion leaves the cell.

Actually, the “cell” that Jubilee is locked in is a holographic projection in the middle of Bastion’s ready room. Because Jubilee has weaker psychic defenses than Professor X, Bastion is trying to make the girl emotional to weaken those defenses and discover the secrets of the X-Men. Daria, Bastion’s assistant, is disturbed by these methods and sympathetic towards Jubilee.

On the display screens, Bastion observes Jubilee’s thoughts. She flashes back to a scene in a funeral parlor just after Illyana Rasputin’s funeral. Cyclops comes over to comfort Jubilee, and explains that Wolverine was so emotional because of the recent death of his girlfriend Mariko, and because it reminded him of his foster daughter Amiko. Jubilee tells Scott that she is surprised to be having a normal conversation with the leader of the X-Men.

In the barn of the Massachusetts Academy (why is there a barn?), Artie and Leech are picking pieces of moss off of each other while Emma Frost tries scanning Banshee’s mind for the whereabouts of their students. Banshee’s cousin Black Tom has just attacked the school and covered it in plant life, so Emma is seeing if Tom mentioned anything to Banshee that might help. Surprisingly, Sean’s mind is on a flashback from Giant-Sized X-Men #1, the issue where he joined the X-Men. This gets Banshee excited as he realizes where the students must be.

Back at Bastion’s base, Jubilee spills the food that Bastion has offered her. He mentions that Bishop did the same thing before he killed him. Jubilee refuses to believe the villain, but she still flashes back to X-Men #8, where Bishop first met her and identified her as the last X-Man (even though the foot note is mislabeled Uncanny #29). Bastion decides to change tactics and shows her a projection of Wolverine being tortured by electricity. This causes Jubilee to despair until the fake Wolverine begs for help, proving to Jubilee that it isn’t real. Jubilee then goes on a rant, kicking Bastion and taunting him. Bastion’s mental defenses fail, showing Daria glimpses of his origin: a mechanical arm being covered in pink synthetic material, and Bastion emerging saying “At last.” Bastion knocks Jubilee over and leaves, frustrated. When Daria apologizes for what she saw, Bastion claims it wasn’t real. Then he tells her that they are going to capture the X-Men in Hong Kong. In her cell, Jubilee smiles despite her bloody nose.

What Else What Down: There is also a one page backup story by Jim Mahfood where Jubilee pretends to be on a cooking show and makes pancakes for Skin and her teammates.

How It Was: It’s pretty impressive that at this point in X-History poor Scott Lobdell was writing both X-Men books and Generation X. Man that guy must have been tired. Regardless, this is a pretty solid issue that shows Jubilee in a great light. Putting the light-hearted girl in an environment of physical and emotional abuse is a great way of creating drama, and Lobdell does a great job of depicting the conflict between Bastion and Jubes. Even though she’s completely trapped and restrained, Jubilee is still able to get the best of Bastion, despite all the technology and resources at his disposal. And the flashbacks Jubilee has of the X-Men are great touches, even though the scene from Illyana’s funeral doesn’t seem in continuity, although I guess the X-Men could’ve had a smaller ceremony before they had the big outdoor one in Uncanny #304.

Since I was never a regular reader of Generation X, I can’t say much for the other subplot scenes. It’s obvious that a lot of chaos is going down since Sean and Emma have lost the students, and nobody even knows that Bastion has Jubilee. But really the focus is squarely on Jubilee here.

Chris Bachalo’s art is pretty phenomenal. It manages to be cartoony and exaggerated while still conveying a wealth of tension and emotion. Whether it’s the page spread of Jubilee staring at the battered visor, or the impassive expression on Bastion’s face, the story flows really well for a narrative contained primarily to a small, dark room. Bachalo’s art does make Jubilee look a little younger than readers are used to seeing her as, but I think this enhances the story and makes you sympathize with her even more; it actually heightens both her innocence and Bastion’s complete lack of humanity.

This is a pretty great issue. It has a narrow focus, which works well to flesh out the two main characters. If you’re going to go to the trouble of reading the Operation Zero Tolerance crossover, you should hunt down this issue because it makes for good set up, and it’s better than ninety percent of the issues in the actual crossover anyways. Lobdell always seems to win when he focuses on characters and emotions, and this is just another example of that phenomenon. As for the backup, it’s really absurd and silly, but the art is fantastic. It’s a very odd tone shift after such a serious and tense story, but maybe the idea was to end the book on a high note; depending on your mood it will either put a smile on your face or leave you scratching your head.

B+

Uncanny X-Men Annual '97

Uncanny X-Men Annual ‘97
Writing: Jorge Gonzalez
Art: Duncan Rouleau

What Went Down: Most of the setup for this story occurs in the Storm mini-series that I’ve not read. Storm, Cyclops, Jean, and Cannonball are in an African Village protecting the Gene Nationals, aka the remnants of the Morlocks, from Humanity’s Last Stand, an anti-mutant group armed with battle suits known as Razors. As the fight goes on, a mutant named Boost notices that Cannonball is wearing out, so he jumps inside Cannonball and uses his powers to enhance Sam’s. Boost’s girlfriend, a mutant lizard woman named Tether, is adamant that they kill the fleeing Razors, but Storm insists that they stay and look after their wounded.

We’re introduced to D’Gard, Storm’s interim leader who is a mutant empath. Since he can sense people’s feelings and emotions, it was decided he would be the best to follow the tribe’s wishes. Also, the reason that Gene Nation is in the middle of an African desert is that Storm deemed it so at the end of her mini-series; she thought it would be best since the Gene Nationals were brought up in the harsh conditions of Mikhail Rasputin’s “king of the hill” style society that they would be better off in a harsh African desert upon rescuing.

Tether accuses Storm of being a woeful leader, and she has a point since the village’s transmission tower has been down for over a month due to attacks from HLS, and Storm didn’t happen to notice until now. Storm makes an excuse that the X-Men have been busy and apologizes, but that is somehow not good enough for Tether. Storm explains that she exiled the mutants in Africa in the hopes that they would escape the bigotry that plagues the civilized world.

As night falls on the village, the X-Men prepare to sleep when Havok and his Brotherhood show up, consisting of the Dark Beast and Fatale. Cyclops immediately confronts his brother, asking what he is doing with the evil McCoy; Havok counters that the X-Men allowed Sabretooth to join and brings up Onslaught as well. Scott is still mad that Havok threw him out of a plane in Uncanny #339.

Havok offers the Gene Nationals a warning and protection. Dark Beast contemplates his inevitable betrayal of Havok while the members of Gene Nation consider Havok’s offer. Storm decides to set up a temporary truce between the two mutant teams.

At the base of Humanity’s Last Stand, we get to see the conflict from their perspective. They blame Gene Nation for the death of Graydon Creed and the series of murders that members of Gene Nation committed back in Uncanny #323. One of the Razor pilots even had a sister that died in the nightclub.

The battle begins; Beast breaks off with Jean Grey to find a more technical solution to their problem, while Cannonball saves Fatale. Some Razors cause a rockslide that buries a number of mutants, so Storm leads a group in rescuing them. D’gard can sense her fear from claustrophobia, and is impressed that she is able to conquer it to help their people. A group of four Razors breaks off to attack the shelters of the injured mutants; Cannonball and Boost try to stop them, but they are too late. Havok uses this as proof that tougher methods are needed to deal with the humans.

Nearby, Jean is using a teke shield to protect Evil Beast as he finds the emergency safeguards in one of the downed Razors. Using this, he is able to trigger the emergency protocols in all of the other suits, causing them to disengage. Storm uses the mutant Boost to amplify her powers and create an enormous sandstorm to wipe out all the retreating battlesuits.

After the battle, all the humans are taken prisoner. Tether and some of the others want to execute the humans who killed the injured mutants. Havok steps up to do it, but Cyclops confronts him and they get into a fight. Cyclops brings up how Havok almost killed him, and Alex brushes it off as “not being in his right mind” at the time. The brothers get into a fistfight, so Dark Beast takes the opportunity to construct a huge gun and execute all of the humans himself. Only he actually has Fatale teleport them all away at the last second so it would look like Beast killed them all. He is excited to have more guinea pigs for his experiments. Havok is as surprised as Cyclops that this occurs.

Boost and Tether decide to leave Africa with the Brotherhood, only they make it clear that they’re not joining, they just need Fatale to help them teleport away. D’gard announces that Storm no longer has claim to leadership, and that he will be the new leader of Gene Nation. Storm is saddened, but agrees it is for the best. Jean comforts Storm as they prepare to leave.

How It Was: This is surprisingly good for an annual, especially for this period in X-History. Not only does the story have actual stakes, but it also picks up on story details in other X-books (X-Factor, the Storm mini-series, last year’s annuals) to give a sense of cohesion in the wider X-Universe. I’ve never heard of Jorge Gonzalez before, but he has a fantastic handle on the characters, and he creates some better than average minor characters in Boost and Tether.

What Gonzalez does that makes the story work perfectly is that he presents the conflict from all sides, and neither side has the perfect answer. Storm wants to protect the village, but due to her commitments to the X-Men, and her terrible shortsightedness, she doesn’t have a practical answer. Havok thinks they should take the battle to HLS, but that will just escalate things. Tether and Boost, as the POV characters for the Gene Nation, represent how conflicted the group is about its purpose and identity, as well as seeing their reactions to various attrocities. Even the humans get a page to justify their motives, by using the events of Uncanny #323 as a validation for why they blame the mutants, since those terrorists did identify themselves as Gene Nation. D’gard offers a great point of view as well, as he is constantly analyzing the situation, trying to find a resolution that will work best for everybody. It’s all very well handled.

I only have two complaints. One is a minor nerdy nitpick: this is the team that regularly appears in X-Men during this time, and they’re in an Uncanny X-Men Annual. That just bothers me a little. The second is that Rouleau’s art isn’t really working for me. It’s so super exaggerated with lots of weird proportions and poses. It does have its moments, but more often than not it just looks odd to me. More importantly, there are moments, such as the landslide, where the frame is focused on Storm fighting bad guys when it should be focused on…well, the landslide. There are one or two other moments as well where the frame is of a character saying “Hey look at that thing over there,” when really the panel should just be showing the event. Plus we never get a feel for the scale of the battle, since the art pretty much focuses on the characters we’re familiar with. That’s an understandable decision, but it would be nice to have a few more establishing shots just to show off what a huge war this is supposed to be.

Overall, this is a pleasant surprise that feels less like filler than the actual stories running in X-Men and Uncanny around the same time. It’s the X-Men actually fighting for something, dealing with the themes of the series, and not always winning in the end. I would have loved to see this as a three or four issue arc as opposed to the Uncanny space farce, the X-Men meeting Shang-Chi in Hong Kong, or the entirety of Operation Zero Tolerance. Still, at least we got this much, and it works as a great one and done story as well as a great epilogue to the Storm mini.

A

Uncanny X-Men #345

Uncanny X-Men #345
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira and Melvin Rubi

What Went Down: This issue is broken into two parts, conveniently dividing up where the artists shift. The first part begins with Sister Maria, the nun who discovered Joseph, running from her crashed car. Get this…she is being chased by a cyborg gorilla. No, really. The Sister hits the gorilla with a rock, but it continues to come after her, asking about the man she nursed to health. Just as the gorilla is about to get her, two giant slugs appear and eat through the bad guy’s chest. The mutant Maggott shows up and asks about her friend Joseph.

On Chandrila, Lilandra looks out over her ruined planet and feels sad. She wonders if this is some kind of karmic payback for her war with the Kree in the Avengers books. She thinks of Charles Xavier, and is thankful that his X-Men were able to save her Empire.

Later that night, the Shi’ar hold a banquet in honor of the dead. Joseph finds the party vulgar, but Rogue explains that different people have different ways of moving on. Rogue worries that Joseph might be turning back into Magneto, so she promises to tell him everything about the man he used to be. Elsewhere, Gambit is outside digging graves for the dead Shi’ar. The whole time he keeps apologizing for something he did when he was younger.

Back at the banquet, Beast asks Trish if she wants to get back together. Trish worries that their relationship will have the same problems it always does, but when she returns to her room, she realizes she is in love with him nonetheless.

The next day the X-Men and Trish board a Shi’ar vessel that will take them back to Earth. Lilandra demonstrates her gratitude to the X-Men by leaving one of their greatest enemies, Deathbird, in charge of the trip.

Part 2 starts with Bishop reading up on Shi’ar history. Deathbird surprises him in her evening robe, and he tries to ask her questions about her history. Deathbird is impressed that he could read the texts because they are in Shi’ar, but she dismisses the texts as a sordid manufactured history designed to make her an outcast. Bishop mentions that her true name was banned from the language when she throws the pad into the fire. Bishop tells her that she shouldn’t forget her past if she doesn’t want to repeat it.

Their argument is interrupted by a “swoosh” noise. Going to the cockpit, the X-Men discover that a giant warship is passing them at twice their speed on the way to Earth. As the X-Men’s ship tries to make it to the stargate, it is caught in the larger ship’s wake and begins to break up.

How It Was: Even though it wasn’t a major crossover, Lobdell does another—actually his last—quiet, contemplative character issue. It’s not his best, but it still manages some great material for Bishop and Deathbird, Lilandra, and Joseph and Rogue. Beast and Trish’s scene has me confused because I was under the impression that they were already back together, hence the dinner date on Christmas Eve in Uncanny #341. As for Gambit, remember all that hemming and hawing over Gambit working for Sinister back in X-Men #45…almost two years prior to this point. Yeah, well Lobdell is finally getting around to it, but it’s still six issues away.

Then there is the surreal opening where Sister Maria is being chased by and evil robo-monkey. This scene almost defies explanation, and I don’t think it serves any other purpose than introducing Maggott and setting up that he’s looking for Magneto. Maggott is not too interesting a character, at least not until Joe Kelly and Steven Seagle get their collective writing hands on him and turn him into a really amusing character to have around.

The end of the issue is quite jarring and the art isn’t very clear on what the heck is happening. It looks like the big ship makes it to the stargate first, then the X-Men talk about the gate being down, then their ship starts to break up on the last page. I’m not sure if they were attacked or if it has something to do with the gate, but the art is not helping here. Also, Beast looks a little like a donkey in the second part of the story… just saying. And it’s sort of disappointing that Joe Mad can only get half an issue done this month, although he does have a double sized issue #350 coming up.

This issue is nothing to write home about. It introduces a character that most people don’t remember, and it wraps up a space story that was pretty forgettable. Yes we have the Gambit revelation on the horizon, but other than that this book doesn’t have a lot going for it at this point.

C+

Uncanny X-Men #344

Uncanny X-Men #344
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Melvin Rubi

What Went Down: Gambit is narrating this time around, and we enter on a badly beaten and tortured Empress Lilandra being held captive by the Phalanx while her servants are being killed and assimilated. The X-Men watch in the shadows as they finalize their plan. Deathbird explains that the only reason Lilandra would surrender would be if the Phalanx had infiltrated the Shi’ar nurseries, where their offspring are held. Rogue, who has become de facto leader, sends Deathbird and Bishop to protect the nurseries. Deathbird thanks all of them.

On Earth, Senator Kelly and Henry Peter Gyrich meet in the Hulkbuster base that now houses Zero Tolerance. Kelly discusses his hesitancy to trust Bastion, even though Kelly himself has lobbied for years about the importance of safeguarding humans from mutants. Bastion apparently also has a number of people in the government sympathetic to his cause, and Kelly blames himself for blazing a trail that might end in genocide.

Bishop and Deathbird make it to the Shi’ar nest. Bishop comments on how admirable it is that Deathbird would seek to protect the innocent, and Deathbird explains that even though she thinks she should rule, she still cares about her people. Bishop explains his history to Deathbird. Then she falls over due to her previous injuries. Bishop worries that she has been attacked, but the injuries are hours old—even though last issue said it had been a week since they found her. Still, Deathbird insists on standing and fighting, even if she is going to bleed to death, impressing Bishop.

Back with the main group, Joseph is overwhelmed with grief for the slaughtered Shi’ar. Even though he can’t remember his past, he starts to have flashbacks of the Nazi concentration camps that he was a prisoner in. Gambit tries to talk to him and tells him to turn his emotions off for now, so Beast’s plan can work. While Joseph continues to watch the slaughter, Beast explains that he is rigging the Shi’ar computer to produce a frequency to separate the technological and organic aspects of the Phalanx.

Beast needs five more minutes to complete his machine, but Joseph can’t take it and attacks the Phalanx. The X-Men have no choice but to back him up while Beast finishes. Joseph saves Lilandra, and remembers that once he had vowed to never again let such atrocities occur. Meanwhile, Bishop and Deathbird fight off more aliens and comment on how impressive thy each are. As the Phalanx start to counter the X-Men’s powers, Beast throws the switch. Just when the X-Men are about to be overwhelmed, all of the Phalanx start to die. Trish Tilby cheers that they won against such impossible odds, but Gambit, worried about Joseph potentially turning evil again, claims that it doesn’t feel like a victory.

How It Was: After setting up impossible odds and a potentially epic intergalactic war to be fought, Lobdell has the Beast build a machine that just kills all the bad guys automatically. That is what I would call the definition of anti-climactic. At the very least you could have the X-Men penetrate a base to find some core or prime Phalanx that needs to be destroyed, but no, Beast just flips a switch and the X-Men win. Couldn’t the supposedly more advanced Shi’ar with their interstellar space travel and superior technology figure this out on their own?

Joseph’s reaction to the Phalanx atrocities makes up for the ending a little bit. Up until now, Joseph has been squarely on the side of the X-Men. He may’ve felt guilty about his past, but it was always clear that he was trying to be an X-Man. Here we see the old Magneto resurface, and it is a welcome sight. The tease that Joseph may yet become Magneto again is a good one, even though it is strange that Gambit is the only one who acknowledges it. However, it is annoying that Joseph has to attack the bad guys with five minutes to spare. It feels like an artificial conflict because nothing the X-Men do really matters, other than the Beast. There’s no tension at all because we all know how it’s going to end.

The Bishop/Deathbird sequences are a little more heavy-handed then they were last issue, but I still think it’s a good match, even if Lobdell has to retcon Deathbird’s past and motivations just a bit. The ending is just weird with Trish Tilby doing cheerleader poses and laughing at the victory while everyone else looks dour and somber about the thousands of dead Shi’ar; for a reporter, she is godawful at reading the climate of a room and reacting with appropriate social responses.

Joe Mad continues his sketchy grasp on deadlines as Melvin Rubi is brought in, as well as four different inkers. The art’s okay, except some of the expressions and poses aren’t really appropriate for the scenes, such as the aforementioned Trish Tilby cheer. Conversely, the two-page spread of the Imperial hall being attacked looks fantastic, as does the Shi’ar nursery.

This is a hugely underwhelming end to a story that didn’t even have a lot to do with the X-Men. The threat that was initially sold to the readers involved the fate of the universe, but it was all undone by a machine programmed by the Beast. Other than a very few moments for the X-Men, and the beginnings of the Bishop/Deathbird romance, this plot doesn’t even involve the X-Men all that much, and Trish Tilby has absolutely nothing to do. This definitely doesn’t stand up to X-Men space operas like the original Phoenix Saga, or any of the stories with the Starjammers. This just doesn’t have that many fun or interesting ideas, and the villains are just dull and one-dimensional. Definitely not what I’d call a classic.

D+

Uncanny X-Men #343

Uncanny X-Men #343
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down: Through narration boxes, the Beast explains that the X-Men have been in space for about a week, and Deathbird has been in a coma within one of the ship’s med-stations. Deathbird wakes up while Beast and Bishop are discussing her survival. Bishop accuses her of somehow being responsible for her ship’s massacre, which earns him a slap from the villain. Gambit and Joseph show up after their search for more survivors. Deathbird steals Bishop’s gun and shoots Joseph and Gambit… only they were actually members of the Phalanx disguised as the X-Men. Bishop helps finish them off, and Deathbird explains that humans have a specific smell that Shi’ar can detect.

Below in the ship, Gambit and Joseph have been taken captive by the new and improved black Phalanx, in case you couldn’t tell from the cover. Rogue attacks the group, but she is slowly overwhelmed. Just as she is about to be absorbed by the Phalanx, she proclaims her love for Gambit. Gambit is behind her, rescues her, and blows up the remaining Phalanx. While Rogue was being assimilated, she caught a glimpse of Chandilar, homeworld of the Shi’ar; she also learned the Phalanx’s plot, which includes taking over Earth.

Speaking of Earth, Bastion is continuing his preparations for Operation: Zero Tolerance. We see that he has recently captured Jubilee in Generation X #25 and plans on interrogating/torturing her.

Meanwhile, the X-Men plan to get on Chandilar by tricking the Phalanx into attacking their ship and blowing it up while they float to a mining planet in an escape pod among the debris. Deathbird is quite rude to Bishop, threatening his life as he secures her in the pod. After the Phalanx blow up the ship, Joseph navigates the pod through the metal that Beast welded to the alien vehicle. The mining planet turns out to be one of Deathbird’s old bases. Many of the X-Men voice their suspicions about Deathbird’s loyalties as they all get on a transporter to save Chandilar and the Shi’ar.

How It Was: This is a definite step back up storywise, although not quite to the heights of #341. The story does have some great moments; the revelation of the Phalanx as X-Men imposters works rather well, despite the fact that it is ruined on the cover. And I have to say that I genuinely like the Deathbird/Bishop relationship, even if it is only in its beginning stages here. It’s a nice idea to have Bishop find a kindred spirit in a hardened warrior with a harsher code of ethics than the X-Men are used to, just as he was when he started on the team. Rogue’s fight with the Phalanx is also particularly brutal; it’s impressive to see her tearing off limbs and fighting all out, even if her proclamation of love feels a little forced.

Where the issue fails is that in spite of their shiny black makeover, the Phalanx are still as dull as they were the last time they appeared in this title. And after the very first sequence, they abandon any of the shapeshifting subterfuge for the dull assimilation and compensation of powers. Having the villains able to negate mutant powers seems unnecessary since they already outnumber the heroes by quite a bit. It also never made sense how the aliens had the ability to stop powers, but not absorb them.

Joe Mad is drawing some very impressive spaceships, stellar bodies, and space debris. The art is really the highlight, despite the stupid costume designs. Even with the art, this is still just a slow middle chapter with not much for the characters to do. While very cool looking, the villains just aren’t compelling at all, and the threat just doesn’t seem big enough.

C

Uncanny X-Men #342

Uncanny X-Men #342
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down: The X-Men appear in a spaceship after being teleported from New York last issue. Gladiator obviously hasn’t planned this mission very well since the ship the X-Men materialize in is out of control, with questionable life support functions. Poor Beast has to figure out how to make the ship work, and eventually gets it to slow down. But once the ship finally compensates for passengers, the X-Men learn that they are heading right for an asteroid field. The X-Men have to choose between staying the course and reaching the star gate, or going around the asteroids and missing it. Joseph volunteers to move the asteroids with his powers, and oddly Gambit is the only one who backs him up on his choice. The X-Men make it to the gate and decide that they’re needed in Shi’ar space, so they take the ship through.

Back at the mansion, Cannonball tells the rest of the X-Men what happened to the X-Men in space. Wolverine is not very happy about it.

On the ship, Joseph thanks Gambit for supporting him, and Gambit alludes that untrustworthy people need to stick together. Beast tries to apologize to Trish for getting her caught up in this deadly mission, but in the long tradition of comic book reporter girlfriends (Lois Lane, Vicki Vale, April O’Neil, Roxanne Simpson, Melita Garner, etc.), Trish is excited for the opportunity to be along for the adventure, as long as she can get a scoop. Oh, and she manages to find some midriff-revealing space battle armor to wear.

In the mansion, Cyclops is attempting to contact the Shi’ar, but fails. Wolverine suggests following them into space, but Storm cautions that with the anti-mutant climate the way it is, the rest of the X-Men are probably needed on Earth.

Back in space, everybody else finds new space armor costumes. Why? Probably to sell action figures. Bishop is contemplating how out of place he feels. Even though he’s been with the X-Men for a while, he doesn’t really consider them true friends. Rogue gives him a pep talk about how it takes time to find a place with people, but the ship coming out of the stargate interrupts them. They come out in front of a devastated flotilla of war ships from the Shi’ar; the computer explains that they are no life signs on any of the ships, but the X-Men go to investigate anyways.

On one of the ships, Rogue and Beast realize that right now it’s Christmas on Earth. Also, someone stole the power core of the ship. Joseph finds that he can’t use his powers on the alien metals, while Gambit thinks about his own dark secrets. Even though the computer said there were no life signs, Bishop discovers a badly injured Deathbird who begs them to save the Shi’ar.

How It Was: Well, this story sure declined in quality fast. For many X-Men readers, adventures in space tend to frustrate them because it is really getting away from the themes of the book. Now I’m not one of those readers, I think some of the best X-Men stories have involved the Shi’ar and the Imperial Guard, but this isn’t one of them. The issue doesn’t even get off to a great start when the X-Men meet their first in a series of unnatural, completely forced conflicts. Why does Gladiator send the X-Men onto a ship that is about to kill them? I don’t know. Why are they going towards an asteroid field? I don’t know. There is no logic behind any of these events and it really hurts the credibility of the story and takes me completely out of it. Plus it’s just not interesting.

While Lobdell tries to take a quiet moment for his characters to reflect, even these bits feel more forced than usual. Bishop’s view of the X-Men as not his real friends seems pretty forced, especially after all the trouble Beast, Gambit, and Storm have been going to in the various X-Books. Yes, as a time traveler in the distant past, Bishop is entitled to feel out of place, but this really feels like Lobdell is ignoring some developments of the character so it feels more natural when he’s written out of the book in a couple of issues. Beast and Trish’s conversation is about what you’d expect, yet Gambit and Joseph’s relationship feels like it’s getting some complexity since you can’t really tell what Remy’s motivations are.

The new costumes are generic looking and completely unnecessary, but what are you going to do? Joe Mad’s art does provide some pretty amazing looking spaceships to see. But there are plenty of sci-fi comics to see spaceships in (heck, Marvel has its own cosmic line of books that are primarily about traveling through outer space). By itself, this feels like a dragged out episode, which doesn’t have any compelling conflicts to drive the story. Instead of spending an issue getting to the abandoned ships, there’s no real reason the issue couldn’t have started there instead. Very disappointing after the last issue.

D+

Uncanny X-Men #341

Uncanny X-Men #341
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira 

What Went Down: It’s Christmas Eve in New York, and the X-Men are out on the town. Beast invites his teammates to join him for dinner with his girlfriend Trish Tilby, but everyone has other plans: Joseph has a surprise for Rogue, Gambit is trying to avoid Joseph and Rogue, and Bishop just wants to spend a quiet evening alone. Cannonball wants to take up the offer, but he still has to do some last minute Christmas shopping for his siblings.

On his way to the toy store, Sam reflects on the events of the past year, but he is still able to muster some good old-fashioned Christmas cheer. Of course, when he reaches the store, it’s a madhouse and nothing he wants to buy is still available. Luckily for us readers, an alien pops out of a portal in the middle of the store and interrupts Sam’s shopping. The alien just happens to be Gladiator of the Shi’ar Imperial Guard, and he is searching for the X-Men.

At the same time, Joseph uses his powers to lift a horse and carriage through the air to create a romantic atmosphere for Rogue. The carriage driver thanks Joseph for the experience and talks about how he’s figured out that most mutants are decent people. In a little aside, the Marvel Universe version of Marvel editor Bob Harras is working late in the office, but he decides to go home and see his family upon witnessing the floating carriage.

Back in the city, Cannonball and Gladiator get into a fight because Sam assumes Gladiator is attacking him. Cannonball holds his own fairly well against an opponent that is supposed to be invincible.

On top of the World Trade Center (yes, this is pre-9/11), Joseph has moved the Z’nox chamber to the roof and modified it to block Rogue’s powers. Rogue is hesitant, but Joseph is able to use the machine and give her a kiss on the forehead.

Back at the fight, Gladiator prepares to throw Cannonball into the sun. Cannonball is able to use his blast shield to absorb the force of Gladiator’s attack. Then, right when Gladiator sees that Sam is fine and begins to doubt himself, Sam is able to knock him out. The other X-Men show up after seeing the fight from far away, and Gladiator begs for their help in rescuing the Shi’ar Empire after being forbidden to interfere by Lilandra. Gladiator uses some devices to teleport all the X-Men and Trish Tilby (but minus Cannonball) to a waiting space ship. Gladiator claims he can’t send Sam because it wouldn’t be honorable to send a youth into battle, and hopes the X-Men succeed for the sake of the universe.

How It Was: This issue feature one of my least favorite genre conventions in it: the fight between two characters with common interests who can’t find the time to stop and talk about the situation. Plus it’s a holiday issue, so there is a good chance that this could’ve turned out hokey. But Lobdell manages to squeeze out some really great moments to make this rise above the mediocrity that has been plaguing recent issues of the series.

First off, I have to say that this is the coolest Sam Guthrie has been since leaving X-Force. After disappearing for no reason in the middle of Onslaught, then being assigned to watch Graydon Creed only to do nothing as the candidate was assassinated, Cannonball has not had a lot to do recently. And even before that he was being portrayed as a bumbling novice who was overly intimidated by the X-Men. Here Cannonball gets to shine by taking on an adversary with the powers of Superman, and it is just great. Sure the motivating factors behind the fight are lacking since Gladiator really should’ve just explained his purpose instead of wasting his time trying to kill the person he needs help from. But it’s an impressive fight, and even though it has no purpose as far as the story is concerned, it does succeed in reminding readers of how cool Cannonball can be.

The other standout moments revolve around Rogue and Joseph. The visual of the carriage floating through the city over skyscrapers is pretty stunning in it of itself, although I could do with out the driver’s drawn out explanation about his principles. The part that works perfectly is of course, the kiss. Lobdell has always excelled in the area of characterization and relationships, and here he shows that he understands what romance truly is. Instead of going for the clichéd, over-the-top makeout scene that most creators would have gone for in the nineties, Lobdell has Joseph give Rogue a subtle kiss on the forehead. It’s an elegant, tender moment that demonstrates how to make people care about a relationship; it’s not about sex, it’s about compassion and gentleness, and Joe Mad renders Rogue’s reaction pitch perfect. It’s a genuinely great emotional moment, and probably the highlight of Joseph’s stint as an X-Man.

In fact, Madureira is firing on all cylinders with this issue, which is odd since it’s mostly a quiet, contemplative issue. From the skyline of New York, to the ice skater in the background of a snowy central park, Madureira just makes the issue feel like Christmas and captures the beauty and electricity of winter in the city. Even his scene in the toy store manages to capture the right tone while containing a wealth of movement and chaos.

The issue does have its head slapping moments. It is really contrived that Gladiator would just happen to show up in the toy store that Cannonball was shopping in, but I can let that one go. The real head-smacker occurs at the end, after Cannonball has wiped the floor with the invulnerable Gladiator, and then Gladiator sends all the X-Men against their will into space except for the guy that just beat. He makes up some dumb excuse about it being dishonorable to send a youth into battle, but the idiot Gladiator just sent the powerless Trish Tilby up with the X-Men to go on his suicide mission. It really makes absolutely no sense whatsoever after a whole issue building Sam up.

Still, this is the best Uncanny is going to be for a long while. Even though I’ve said it a million times before, I’ll say it again. This is where Lobdell’s strengths lie—in these quiet, contemplative issues that take the time to explore the heads of a couple of characters to see where they are at emotionally. It’s a lot of fun and actually handles emotion well without feeling corny or heavy-handed. This one is definitely worth a look, especially for Rogue and Cannonball fans.

A

Cable #42

Cable #42
Writing: Todd Dezago
Art: Randy Green

What Went Down: In the Swiss Alps, a monk is visited by a projection of Sanctity, member of the Askani from the future. She tells him that he must ready the Askani’son, Cable. He must be prepared to either accept his role or be annihilated.

As for the main story, Cable is in the middle of a mosh pit for the first time in his life. He and Storm are undercover at a Lila Cheney concert—on the lookout for Callisto, who is planning to attack the event. Cable is perplexed by the ritual of moshing and worries about Storm’s claustrophobia in such a tight, dark place. Storm explains she is determined to fulfill her responsibility to the Morlocks when Calisto and Marrow appear.

Storm is surprised to see Marrow alive, since Storm ripped her heart out of her chest back in Uncanny #325, but such is the way of comics. Cable fights the Morlocks while the crowd panics. Storm is crushed against the crowd and starts to lose control, unleashing lightning outside. One of Lila’s disguised alien bodyguards grabs Cable, mistaking him for a troublemaker. Calisto and Marrow escape, and all the while Lila just keeps singing.

Storm and Cable leave out the back and go flying to catch their breaths; they discuss how the mutant Thornn tipped them off to Calisto’s activities. Meanwhile, Calisto and Marrow regroup outside as well. Calisto insists that she be the one to kill Storm and tells Marrow to give the people inside a warning before triggering the explosives they planted. She also explains how Marrow was able to survive Storm’s attack in Uncanny #325; it turns out that Marrow was born with two hearts. Of course, that makes perfect sense!

Outside on the roof of the club, Storm apologizes to Cable for freaking out. A guy trying to get into the concert is scared away by another of the alien guards as Cable reenters the club. On the roof, Calisto confronts Storm, calling her naive when the humans are preparing genocide for mutants. Storm counters that terrorism is for the weak and cowardly.

Back in the concert, Cable runs into Thornn, who came to help stop Calisto and Marrow. Marrow attacks Cable from behind. While Storm fights Calisto, she questions the Morlock about the location of the bomb. Inside, Cable gets in a knife fight with Marrow and tries to offer her a place where she’ll be accepted. Marrow rejects it and tells him that the explosives are rigged to blow when Lila hits a high note at the end of her song; she doesn’t know that Cable is a telepath and able to contact Lila mentally and tell her not to sing the note.

When there is no explosion, Storm announces that the heroes have won, but Calisto explains that the bomb will still go off ten seconds after the music stops. Storm warns Cable telepathically and Thornn locates the bomb. Cable throws it to Lila, who uses her teleportation powers to get rid of it. Afterwards, Cable worries back stage about how close they are to genetic war; since Cable is from the future, he remembers that important events are about to take place now from his history.

How It Was: This is a random one-off in Cable that actually sets up a lot of events in the X-Men books to come, so it’s worth taking a look at. This simple story has a lot of holes in its plot, starting with the antagonists themselves. Calisto and Marrow are back as the main villains, which is incredibly surprising considering last time we saw them, one of them was trying to help stop the murdering of innocent humans and the other had her heart ripped out. Even after coming up with a lazy reason for Marrow to not be dead, their evil scheme still doesn’t make any sense. Why would Calisto tell Marrow to warn the people before the bomb goes off? Doesn’t that defeat the whole purpose? And if the bomb was set to go off after the music stops, wouldn’t warning the crowd be a bad idea?

Then again, maybe it wouldn’t matter if Marrow warned the crowd or not, since this appears to be a very stupid crowd. Cable and the Morlocks supposedly cause a near riot with their fight, but later there are plenty of people still at the concert. Are they that oblivious? Shouldn’t they be running for their lives instead of standing around while two mutants have a kung fu knife fight? The plot itself feels very stock; I’m pretty sure I’ve seen the bomb set off by a certain note in a number of cartoons like Inspector Gadget over the years. Ignoring the silliness of it, the way it plays out still doesn’t make a lot of sense.

So what does work? Well the prologue is pretty interesting with its cryptic foreshadowing of Nathan’s future role in the war against Apocalypse. That is until you learn that Nate’s role is actually nonexistent in that “final battle,” but don’t worry, that isn’t for years to come.

Also, Storm and Cable both work well together; the X-offices had been vaguely hinting at a romance between the two for a while, and it actually seems like it might work here. Storm does come off as a little weak and dumb by putting herself in such a situation in the first place, but her guilt over the Morlocks is a convincing enough motivation for her presence. Cable’s not exactly a standout solo hero; while he’s obviously tough, there’s just nothing to really set him apart, like a sense of humor or unique powers. Then again, he does have some fun moments in the mosh pit, and the writer seems to be slowly building up his significance as a time traveler/savior.

The art is decent, especially when it comes to the design of the alien bodyguard or the action and lighting of the mosh pit. The action isn’t anything to write home about, and the plot is a little incoherent, but it does do an average job of setting up the X-Men’s struggle to keep human relations from devolving any further.

C

X-Men '97 Annual

X-Men ’97 Annual
Writing: John Francis Moore
Art: Steve Epting

What Went Down: We open on Iceman and Joseph as they are chased by a mob of humans. They desperately try to make it to their car, but the mob catches up to them. In a surprise twist, the mob doesn’t consist of angry anti-mutant bigots; instead, it’s a group of teenage girls obsessed with getting Bobby Drake’s autograph. Joseph is confused by this.

At the mansion, Gambit and Rogue are shown cooking gumbo and kissing each other; for some reason Rogue’s absorption powers are in control. Joseph can’t help but feel that something isn’t quite right. Other events that are too good to be true: Cannonball watches a news story about the government shutting down Bastion, the world doesn’t’ hate mutants, Cyclops can walk around without his visor, Beast discovers the cure for the Legacy Virus, and Wolverine is calm and at peace. When Joseph walks away from him, Logan demonstrates that he is trying to fight some sort of mind control.

As Joseph observes some photos in the mansion, he notices that Jean Grey’s existence has been erased from them. Even stranger, none of the X-Men remember Jean Grey at all. Joseph flies away when the team threatens to “help” him, but Gambit and Rogue catch up and try to understand what is going on. Using Cerebro, they discover a mutant that fits the description of Jean in a store in Salem Center.

On the astral plane, Jean is imprisoned in a fake bedroom. At the ‘Bullseye’ store (a parody of Target), Gambit, Rogue, and Joseph are assaulted by the employees. After subduing the sales associates, they find Jean hooked up to a machine in the back. Gambit and Rogue vaguely remember her.

Rogue is knocked unconscious by a mental attack from the manager, who turns out to be the Gamemaster. We also see a flashback of Jean Grey being pricked with a sedative in a grocery store so she could be abducted. Gamemaster explains that he is an omnipath, and the only way for him to stay sane and focused while being exposed to the world’s thoughts and feelings is for him to play these manipulative games. He mentions the abortive Upstarts storyline, and explains that he was curious to see what would come of the X-Men if they were given everything they ever wanted.

Gamemaster offers Joseph the opportunity to make the changes permanent by sacrificing Jean Grey. When Joseph refuses, Gamemaster offers him the same deal if he will sacrifice Gambit. Joseph appears to kill Gambit, but really he is faking so he can free Jean. Jean attacks Gamemaster and almost learns his identity, but the villain gets away. Jean catches a glimpse of where he might live, but when the X-Men go to the house, it is obvious that the villain isn’t there. The TV is on, and the report describes a hospital firebombing that occurred once the Gamemaster stopped influencing the town. Rogue tries to cheer everybody up by explaining how all of them are trying to be better people.

How It Was: Somewhat of a surprise, this issue. Namely the surprise is in how good it actually is. Moore has a lot of fun with the status quo of the time, which was depressing, depressing, and more depressing. Amidst all the Onslaughts and political assassinations and self-doubting mutants, it is so nice to see the X-Men gain some happiness, even if it’s only a temporary, fake happiness. All of the twists Moore picks out, from the Legacy cure to Cyclops’ eyes, are nice little nods to the wealth of ever-present obstacles to the X-Men that never get furthered at all. Of course the end winds up being even more of a downer, but the journey is still a good one. It’s great to see Joseph get to be the focus, even if it’s only because of the plot convenient notion that Gamemaster’s powers can’t work on Magneto. After having nothing to do with the resolution of the Onslaught storyline, Joseph really hasn’t had an opportunity to prove himself as a hero up to this point, and I dare say this is the best standout moment he ever gets before disappearing off the face of the Marvel Universe in a year or two.

More impressive is the job Moore does with rehabilitating the Gamemaster’s character, especially in so few panels. Instead of the generically evil for the sake of evil arbitrator he was during the entire Upstarts story, I like this take on him as someone who is trying to distract himself from being overwhelmed by the breadth of human emotion around him. Moore also seems to be going for this idea that Gamemaster has completely lost his empathy and objectivity because of his powers, which is a far more compelling take on the villain as opposed to an evil, powerful guy who is just really, really bored all the time. Unfortunately he disappears from the X-Men books after this annual, never to be seen in the main books again.

The issue is a little long, and the fight with the employees at Target feels superfluous, but all-in-all the story works really well. At its core it is a simple story about whether the ends justify the means, filtered through a well constructed X-Men character piece. This is a shining bright spot in the middle of late 90’s era X-Men. We finally get a story that deals with the core themes of the book, develops some of the characters and their relationships, and only has one loose end that is never followed up on again (which feels like some kind of record for this period). If you’re going to bother reading X-Men comics in 1997, you might as well seek this one out since it’s better than the vast majority.

B+

X-Men #61

X-Men #61
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Cedric Nocon

What Went Down: Archangel starts off the issue pounding on the door of his penthouse because Psylocke is inside a battling a group of undercloaks-the magic shadow ninjas from back in Uncanny #329. Unable to enter (I guess he forgot his keys?), Warren runs up the stairs to the roof, flies around, and busts through a window to find Betsy calmly sitting by herself. When Warren asks what is going on, Gomurr the Ancient shows up and hints at the cost of resurrecting Psylocke with the Crimson Dawn. This is all set up for a Crimson Dawn mini-series for the couple to star in, so don’t worry too much about it.

Back at the museum, Storm is trying to protect Karima, the orphan who was raised a thief by Storm’s mentor and is presently taped to a pillar. Storm confronts the Shadow King/Jamil and tries to stop him with a blizzard. Candra tries to get to the gem, but the Juggernaut appears, attacking her and Storm. Storm frees Karima and wonders if the appearances of the Shadow King and Juggernaut are somehow tied to Jamil’s powers. Candra and Storm get into a hand-to-hand fight, with Ororo throwing Candra in some rubble. While Storm tries to figure out what is happening, Cable appears and uses the gem to shoot a red ray at Candra. Storm figures out the cause of the manifestations, flies Karima out of the museum, and tells the girl that she has to stop this.

Elsewhere in the city, the X-Men are tracking Storm to help her. Jean uses her powers to hide their appearance from civilians, which causes a debate among the members. Jean turns a corner and everyone disappears, both X-Man and civilian. After three panels, everything returns to normal, with Wolverine asking Jean if there is anything wrong.

Back in the museum, Candra bursts out of the rubble and asks where Jamil has gone. Storm explains that Jamil never existed because Karima is actually a mutant whose power involves pulling desires from people’s minds and making them real; Jamil was actually a desire of Karima’s given form to keep her from being lonely. Candra’s own desire to get the gem was then projected onto Jamil by Karima. Storm throws Candra the gem, but at the last second Cyclops shows up and blasts it, killing Candra. The X-Men comment about how they are always there for each other, and Storm decides that she is going to take Karima home. In an epilogue in Hong Kong, Sebastian Shaw is revealed to be not dead. He makes a toast to his son Shinobi, and then says some cryptic mutterings about his next huge plan.

How It Was: Errr…I hate to be so negative all the time, but this really makes no sense and has no purpose. The cover teases an awesome fight with the Juggernaut, but what we get is a series of illusions that are only around for a page or two each. Candra’s “heart” has gone from her weakness to a typical ultimate power macguffin, and the resolution is super anti-climactic since Storm could have just destroyed the thing last issue and been done with all of it.

Now let’s talk about the M. Night Shyamalan style twist of Jamil not existing. Originally we’re told that Jamil is a mutant who can create illusions. Fair enough. Then we’re told that he might be possessed by the Shadow King, and the gem can enhance his powers. Still good. After that, a bunch of illusions from Storm’s history pop up and attack her. She somehow reasons that it is impossible for Jamil to be able to know these aspects of her history, so instead she figures that it makes more sense that Karima has the power to unconsciously read thoughts and desires from people and make them tangible. Also, Jamil isn’t real, as he was really an embodiment of Karima’s unconscious desire to not be alone. My question is, how is this the more likely scenario than a mutant who can create illusions screwing with a person with aspects of their past? Especially with an overpowered magic gem, shouldn’t this be well within the realm of possibilities in the X-Men’s lives?

Still, the twist might have been enough if we actually cared about any of the characters at all. Even Candra has little to no motivation; why did she put her heart in a jewel in the first place and what is she going to do if she gets it back under her control? On top of that, at the end Storm decides it is best to return Karima to her life as a struggling orphan thief in Africa by herself, as opposed to say taking her back to their mansion so she can learn how to use her insanely powerful mutant abilities. So there you have it, even Storm doesn’t care enough about Karima as a character to do the right thing by her.

As for the rest of the plotlines, the two-page spread of Psylocke fighting ghost ninjas looks pretty cool, but the stuff with the Crimson Dawn still isn’t interesting at all. And in what I assume is yet another forgotten plotline to add to the list, Jean Grey sees everybody in New York disappear for no reason. Sebastian Shaw is back, not that we really missed him all that much. While he is a much better character than his son Shinobi, Sebastian doesn’t really get any good plots in the modern age of comics that I can think of off the top of my head. But more on that in the coming issues of X-Men.

This story was probably the biggest misfire yet. I like the idea of putting the spotlight on Storm, but a boring villain, uninteresting supporting characters, and unnecessary plot twists make this one pretty forgettable. This is the type of comic that shows how diehard an X-fan is if they owned it and stuck with the series after reading it.

F

X-Men #60

X-Men #60
Writing: Scott Lobdell and Ralph Macchio
Art: Cedric Nocon

What Went Down: Storm is enjoying some solitude in her attic/garden when Cyclops ambushes and attacks her. The External Candra has possessed Cyclops for some reason, but she lets him go after Storm drenches him. Storm explains to Cyclops that Candra is after the jewel from Storm’s costume.

In a flashback we see the young thief Storm breaking into a mansion to steal the gem. After young Ororo removed the jewel, the case exploded, killing all the guards and leveling the house. Storm’s master Achmed El-Gibar kept the jewel for her until she was older, and it turns out that the gem is really Candra’s heart, the only weakness the External has.

In Washington, Jean consoles Cannonball for failing to save Graydon Creed. Meanwhile Storm meets Candra in the Metropolitan Museum’s Egyptian collection. Storm is about to destroy the jewel so Candra cannot use its power, but Candra reveals that she has kidnapped a girl named Karima that Storm met way back in X-Men Unlimited #7, who was also trained as a thief by Achmed. Additionally, Candra has employed Karima’s friend Jamil, who can cast illusions. Jamil makes Ororo see the Black Panther, who kisses her. Storm breaks free and a fight erupts. The gem in Storm’s hand disappears because Jamil created an illusion to make her think she was still holding it. The issue ends with the Shadow King appearing and announcing that he has been in control of Jamil all along and now has the power of the Heart of Candra.

How It Was: The stress of writing two books continues to take its toll on Lobdell, as he scrapes the bottom of the X-bucket for this story. With clearly no direction for the X-Men books at this point, Lobdell was obviously getting desperate if he was using X-Men Unlimited stories for his inspiration. Putting the spotlight on Storm for two issues isn’t a bad idea by any stretch of the mind; after all, she hasn’t really had any development of her own since Forge left her. It’s just that this story is a long series of unnecessary retcons combined with an enmity between two characters that has never been mentioned before or since.

Ralph Macchio’s script for this issue is not particularly great, and it’s not helped by the sheer amount of exposition that is dumped into this issue. Storm’s origin is gone over twice, once by the narrator and again when Storm recounts a flashback, with a filler action scene between Cyclops and Storm smack in the middle. Tying Candra to Storm’s past doesn’t make a lot of sense since she has primarily been a Gambit and X-Force villain up to this point. Then there are just the numerous logical gaps: if Candra can possess Cyclops, why not just possess Storm instead? Why would Storm’s mentor give the jewel to her if it holds so much power, and why would she hold onto it if she saw it blow up a mansion full of people? If the jewel is Candra’s weakness, why doesn’t Storm just destroy it this issue instead of making us slog through another issue to destroy it? The macguffin is just too poorly defined, as is the reason Candra has waited so long to try to get it back.

Another baffling choice is the inclusion of minor bit players Karima and Jamil. Storm acts like they are super important to her, but really she’s only met them once and most readers probably had no idea at the time who they were; I know I didn’t. The script doesn’t do much to make us care about either of them at all, since Jamil acts like a brainwashed lackey and Karima has her mouth taped shut the whole issue. They’re never going to be in a comic again after next issue, so don’t worry too much about them.

Cedric Nocon’s art is actually really nice, except for the magically changing proportions and position of the Washington Monument in the Jean and Sam scene. Conversely, that’s probably my favorite part of the issue since it actually makes sense, deals with the characters, and gives Cannonball a little depth. I like that Sam is conflicted about Creed’s death, although it does bring up the question of why the writers set up this months long storyline for him when he contributed absolutely nothing to its resolution. The end is a bit of a red herring; it looks cool, but next issue devolves into a series of twists that don’t come off as interesting or clever as they should, namely because nobody cares about any of the characters other than Storm. This issue just continues the trend of aimlessness that the X-Men suffered pre- and post-Onslaught.

F

200 Posts Strong and Growing

I have to admit I'm kind of surprised, and impressed, that this is still going on, and going as well as it is.  Thanks to everybody who continues to visit.  There's a good chance I might take the next week off to work on school work, but I'll play it by ear.  As for what's down the line, we have the end of Scott Lobdell's run, Marvel's horribly conceived Minus One Month, and the criminally underrated Steven Seagle/Joe Kelly run.  So please continue to visit and thanks again!

X-Factor #130

X-Factor #130
Writing: Howard Mackie
Art: Eric Battle

What Went Down: Before I start, I just want to point out that the end of this issue is completely spoiled by the bottom left corner of the first page. If that’s not an indicator of the quality of a creative team, I don’t know what is?

Anywho, the issue starts off with Mystique performing target practice on a poster of her son Graydon Creed. Pyro is by her side, even though he was forcibly abducted in Uncanny X-Men #338. He asks her how they are going to complete their plan, and Mystique demonstrates that she has hacked her inhibitor collar to allow herself to morph into Val Cooper.

Val Cooper is at a hotel with Graydon Creed right before the election. Creed is insistent that he be allowed to perform his final speech even though he has received numerous death threats. Cooper tells him that he either has to accept X-Factor’s help or cancel the speech. The rest of the team bursts in through the window and starts searching for explosives; Creed is incredibly unhappy to see his psychotic father Sabretooth on the team. Creed’s bodyguards confront X-Factor, and Val and Forge recognize Cannonball as one of them. Forge demonstrates that Sabretooth has a collar that prevents him from getting too close to Graydon, so he reluctantly agrees.

Outside the rally, Val is ambushed by the real Val Cooper, and it is revealed that the one we’ve been following was Mystique. A group of protestors get into a riot with some of Creed’s supporters, and Mystique is able to slip away in the crowd. Val tells X-Factor to search for Mystique, and they catch her in disguise aiming a weapon at the presidential nominee. Polaris takes the gun, and Mystique is restrained and hauled away, even though she is claiming that she was trying to help.

Creed confronts his mother and tells the authorities to take her away, but the team insists on doing it themselves. In an armored truck, Mystique swears to Val that she was trying to save Creed, along with some vague mutterings about conspiracy theories in the government. Later, as Graydon Creed takes the stage, the X-Factor team spots Pyro in the crowd. Graydon Creed gets shot and incinerated. X-Factor captures Pyro and escapes, but they claim that Pyro and Mystique are innocent because their weapons turned out to be forcefield generators. Mystique even consoles Pyro by saying that they tried. On a computer screen, a mysterious text message appears claiming that Creed was the first, but Mystique is next.

How It Was: With the month of the actual election already past in the real world, the X-offices had to decide where exactly they were taking the “Creed runs for president” plotline. I can understand not wanting to have a fundamentalist racist as president of the Marvel Universe. This however stands as a good example of a neat idea that was not thought through all the way. While the fate of Creed is shocking, and it is understandable how the death of a presidential candidate would fuel anti-mutant sentiments, it is clear that the resolution of this thread hasn’t been created yet. So once again we get a couple of months of people talking about the assassination like it’s the major direction of all the X-books, and the influence of every villain, before it’s completely abandoned and forgotten about. Yes, it’s this old song again. If you’re curious, the identity of the assassin is actually revealed in Fabian Nicieza’s X-Men Forever mini-series from around 2000 or 2001. But enough about the ill preparedness of the X-offices, lets get onto the quality of the issue.

This is one of those events that should have happened in an X-Men book, but was probably editorially demanded to boost sales of the flagging X-Factor book. Not only does X-Factor come off looking really awful in this issue, there are a number of irregularities with what has already been established in the X-Men books. Uncanny #338 saw Pyro running for his life from “her”, who was obviously meant to be Mystique. This issue finds them working toward their goal mutually, and without the aid of Avalanche, who had been mentioned previously. Sam Guthrie does appear, but only in a one panel cameo as he’s recognized by Forge and Val; he literally has no impact on the story after months of set up, which couldn’t have been the initial plan. Realistically he gets pushed to the side because X-Factor has to be assigned to Creed at the last minute for this plot to make sense in an issue of X-Factor.

Then there is just the sheer ridiculousness of the plot structure. Mystique and Pyro are actually trying to save Creed, so they decide to hide in the crowd with force field weapons that look exactly like guns, and Mystique thinks the best way to accomplish her goal is to destroy what little trust her handlers have put in her and do everything herself. After she’s caught, she makes a halfhearted attempt to explain away the flaws in her plan as a contingency against some vast conspiracy, but what really comes off as stupid is how the members of X-Factor keep interrupting her as she’s trying to explain. And why did she even bother to take Val’s place in the first place? It’s just really silly how the script tries to add in all these twists that make no sense whatsoever. Even the sheer fact that the government would assign a mutant super hero team with two former terrorists on it to defend a presidential candidate strikes as pretty dumb. Yes that does fit into the vast conspiracy theory, but you’d think that Val or Forge might question this a little harder.

I didn’t read a lot of X-Factor during this period, but I have to say that this roster isn’t very interesting at all. Polaris seems to have nothing to do now that Havok has left the team. Forge and Val seem to have the same personality, while Wild Child just grunts a lot. Sabretooth does have some funny scenes where he mocks his son by pretending to be a proud father, but once again I have to question his purpose on a government super hero team. Mystique is super stoic, but you’d think she’d be a little more aggressive about saving her son if that was the initial storyline.

This is a legitimately interesting course for the X-Books to take; the execution is just forced and deviates too much from the initial setup. Worse is that the story feels like it has no real direction as red herring after red herring is introduced to try to build on the mystery of the assassin. And while this was a perfect opportunity for the Marvel offices to get people interested in X-Factor, I can’t say it does a very good job at that either. The characters just don’t do anything to make the audience care about them in this issue, and they don’t really have anything to do in the actual story. Overall it’s disappointing.

D-

Uncanny X-Men #340

Uncanny X-Men #340
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down: Bobby Drake’s father is in the hospital after being beaten up by members of the Friends of Humanity. Bobby is sitting alone with him in the hospital room when Storm shows up and asks him what happened. Elsewhere Cannonball is still undercover within Creed’s campaign. He tries to visit Creed, but two hulking bodyguards prevent him. Just as Sam is leaving, Creed shows up and invites him into his office.

Storm and Iceman have moved onto the roof of the hospital where Bobby explains how he discovered his father. Creed’s campaign members were going to catch a jet when Creed asked Bobby to help solve a problem. Because Creed uses Iceman’s real name “Robert” it’s an indication that something is wrong, and sure enough Drake finds his father badly beaten in a clearing in the woods. Bobby feels guilty, and wonders why his father didn’t give them any information, to which Storm replies there is only one answer.

Outside Creed’s headquarters, Creed asks Sam about his father. Guthrie describes his father as hardworking and loving. Then he asks about Creed’s dad, knowing that Graydon’s father is the villain Sabretooth. Creed crushes the glass he was drinking from and just claims that his dad was a disappointment.

In Mr. Drake’s hospital room, Gambit is watching over the man. Mr. Drake asks him why Remy fights for mutant rights, and Gambit replies it’s for the same reason he did. Outside a van pulls up at the hospital. Human extremist soldiers are preparing to kill all the mutants that they can detect. Wolverine opens the trunk door and appears to jump in and kill all of them.

Storm talks about how she wonders if her parents would’ve approved of her lifestyle as a super hero; she wishes that her parents were still alive. In a bar, Jean telepathically contacts Cannonball to tell him that Iceman’s cover was blown; Sam is determined to stay until the end. Back at the hospital, Bobby tells Storm that he’s taking a leave of absence from the X-Men to be with his father. The X-Men leave and he tells his father that he loves him.

How It Was: This is easily the best issue of either X-Men title in a very long time. It’s also some of the best material Iceman has been given in a very long time, especially since it has nothing to do with guilt over how his powers developed. Iceman gets a very relatable storyline involving his father getting put in the hospital, and Lobdell handles it perfectly. Yes it’s still a little contrived that Mr. Drake has had this eleventh hour turn of conscience, but it is justified well as an understanding that even mutants have families.

All the characters talk about their fathers, and while it should come off as corny, it doesn’t. Storm gets a rare sensitive moment talking about her thoughts about her dead parents, and even Cannonball and Creed share just enough to show how their fathers have impacted their lives. This just works as a quiet, contemplative issue that places the focus squarely on characterization. Also Wolverine’s part works perfectly with the mislead that this quiet, contemplative mood is about to be shattered by human bigots, but than at the last minute Wolverine just kills them all. It’s cathartic for the reader because it’s alluded that these are the same people responsible for beating up Mr. Drake, and it’s also just an undeniably cool moment of Logan acting tough.

What isn’t really working is the overall direction of the story. Cannonball and Iceman’s infiltrations haven’t turned up any information at all, and they never will. I do like how Creed’s asking about Cannonball’s father also works as a thinly veiled threat, but it doesn’t make up for the fact that this subplot is a waste of the character and nothing ever really comes of it. This is Scott Lobdell at his best, which he hasn’t been at since he took over both books again. All the heroes are warm, familiar, and handled in a mature, realistic, and very human way. Highly recommended.

A

X-Men #59

X-Men #59
Writing: Scott Lobdell and Ralph Macchio
Art: Andy Kubert

What Went Down: Cyclops is in a near-empty theater watching Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. Instead of drawing scenes from the movie, the art department has decided to Photoshop screen shots of the movie onto the screen. Jean shows up and surprises Scott, even though he knows that she’s a telepath. Although the theater is empty, someone tells them to be quiet. Jean asks him about Alex, but he just wants to watch the movie.

Back at the Institute, Bishop is getting beat up again by the second guest hero in two issues. Hercules has thrown Bishop through the wall and seems confused as to how his greeting could have hurt Bishop that much. Beast explains the Onslaught storyline to Hercules, and Bishop threatens to beat up Herc, but is held back by Beast. Hercules has stopped by looking for Quicksilver because he wants to team up with the remaining Avengers, since he has been condemned to Earth by his father Zeus.

Quicksilver is outside wondering how he’s going to face his daughter and tell her that her mother is dead. Wolverine gives him a pep talk about being strong for her like Crystal and Wanda would have wanted. Quicksilver runs into Joseph, who is busy building a machine to block Rogue’s powers. Quicksilver yells at him for not realizing all the lives he’s ruined, and then runs away.

Back in the theater, Scott tells Jean how he always liked movies as a way to escape from the reality of being a sickly orphan whose brother was adopted. The two kiss each other. At Creed’s campaign headquarters, Iceman reads a fax that says his father was arrested after Trish Tilby’s talk show and refused to give his name. Cannonball walks in on Creed talking on the phone; he claims he was discussing strategy with his parents. Sam knows who his parents are so he wonders what Creed meant. Outside, Bobby asks Carly if she thinks Creed is going to be elected. Carly responds, “What is, is,” which is the motto of the Askani in the future.

As Quicksilver and Hercules depart, Joseph flies up to the plane and apologizes to Quicksilver, who responds that maybe someday it will mean something. Hercules cautions the dangers of holding a grudge, but Pietro is distant. Cyclops and Jean exit the theater and he wonders if it’s silly that he wasted the day watching movies. He realizes that the fate of the X-Men is up to him, but he’s hopeful because Jean is by his side.

How It Was: Alright, Hercules stops by the mansion for no good reason other than to force a recap of the Onslaught storyline and write Quicksilver out of the book. Hercules comes off as a bit of a tool here, throwing Bishop through a wall and then acting surprised by it. Quicksilver gets some nice development, although it’s a couple of months too late in my opinion. Shouldn’t he have gone to visit his daughter many issues ago? Wolverine’s speech to Pietro feels a lot more like common sense than pearls of wisdom, but how else can Lobdell explain why Quicksilver is still around unless he goes the route of fear.

The Creed storyline is still around, and a whole lot of nothing is still happening there. The reveal that Carly Alverez might be an Askani from the future is interesting, but like so many things in this era, it is totally forgotten about later. Cyclops’ scenes are an unexpected choice. There’s nothing really special about his interactions with Jean, but it’s nice to see him acknowledging the weight of being in charge of the X-Men in the Professor’s absence.

At this point it’s been three months since Onslaught wrapped up, and it still feels like nothing significant has happened at all. Instead of following up on Archangel’s transformation or Havok’s terrorist activity, we’re left with the very boring Creed storyline, and Hercules’ unnecessary visit. This is just filler until somebody can come up with a proper direction for the books to take, and it’s a shame because there are so many possible directions. Very weak plotting, and Macchio’s script can’t compare to Lobdell’s normally insightful character interaction.

D