X-Men #3

X-Men #3
Writer: Chris Claremont
Artist: Jim Lee

What Went Down: The X-Men’s Gold Team, plus Forge and Banshee, sneak aboard Asteroid M with the help of a transparent X-plane and the powers of Storm and Jean Grey. Fury and Dr. Val Cooper are still at the UN, trying to convince the Russian ambassador not to fire the giant laser at Magneto’s base. Magneto is busy taking his aggression out on Moira MacTaggert. Afterwards Cortez uses his power to recharge Magneto, and Moira notices that Magneto is growing more and more dependent on this.

Elsewhere, the X-Men and the Acolytes are bonding by the Asteroid M swimming pool; apparently before they defected, the X-Men remembered to pack their bathing suits. Gambit begins flirting with Rogue—he is convinced  that her touch won’t hurt him. We find out later that this assumption is wrong. Anyway, this starts the couple’s decades long roller coaster romance.

The Gold Team rescues the Professor, but the Blue Team and the Acolytes ambush them. Of particular note, Gambit shows off his skill with his staff by breaking Banshee’s jaw and deflecting Forge’s bullets back at him. Or are they lasers? In any case, Beast and Rogue snap out of the mind control first, followed by the rest of their teammates. Magneto shows up to turn the tide again; however, this time his powers give out in the middle of the fight, due to his dependency on Cortez’s powers. Wolverine frees Moira in time for her to give a load of clunky exposition about how the mind control doesn’t work because every time a mutant uses his powers, his mind comes closer to returning to its “natural state.” Also, she explains Cortez’s deceit to Magneto just as the traitor is ejecting in an escape pod.

Cortez uses a remote to fire the Russian laser at Asteroid M; he is a member of the Upstarts, but we won’t learn this for a while. Magneto uses his powers to disable the nukes he had acquired and keep his base together long enough for the X-Men to escape; the rest of the Acolytes choose to stay with him. Everyone reassures Moira that it wasn’t her fault, and the X-Men fly home from yet another adventure. Thus ends Chris Claremont’s fifteen year run on the X-Men, but he’ll be back in about a decade.

How It Was: The first half of the book is a little slow, with tons of dialogue weighing it down. The Gold Team has to recap everything up to this point in the story and explain their elaborate infiltration method, which involves Wonder Woman’s jet. Also, Magneto’s rant at Moira pretty much reiterates everything he said in the previous issue about his feelings towards her, but it does offer up another scene of foreshadowing Cortez’s sudden and inevitable betrayal. At least Magneto has the decency to seal Moira’s mouth shut with the metal suit she is wearing so that she stops moaning and crying about her guilt. Also, there’s an art/continuity mistake where Cortez is with Magneto one moment, and then down at the pool with the X-Men at “roughly that moment elsewhere,” (the comic’s choice of words, not mine).

The weakest aspect is probably Moira’s explanations near the end, which are drawn out and kind of silly. She claims that mutants have such “indomitable wills” because of the way their minds structure themselves around their powers. This runs contradictory to the fact that the X-Men get brainwashed on a pretty consistent basis in certain stories, and this idea has never been brought up again.

On the brighter side, the humble beginning of Rogue and Gambit’s relationship is nice and subtle, and the fight between the X-Men is flashy, if brief. On the positive end, Cyclops gets a nice jab at Jean about her flirtation with Wolverine before blasting her away. On the down side, I’m not sure Gambit should be able to deflect bullets with a stick. Dodge, yes; deflect, no.

But the true shining gem of this issue is once again the portrayal of Magneto. This issue really hits the nail on the head as far as his philosophy, his fears, and the effects his long, tragic history has had on him. While long, the monologue by Magneto reads like a last testament for the character, even though we all knew at the time that he would eventually return like he always does. I especially enjoy the part where he basically tells Xavier to capitalize on the time without his foe, and that he wishes the Professor’s dream could succeed, but he just cannot risk the consequences if it does not. It is the speech of a person who desires to be an idealist, but has just seen too much to have any hope. Great writing, and one of the best monologues by a super villain, adds up to a pretty solid end to Claremont’s career.

B+

Wow, my first story arc read and reviewed. It seems like only yesterday that I started this blog instead of a week ago. Anyway, tune in next week for X-men #4-7, followed by Uncanny X-Men #281-283.

X-Men #2

X-Men #2
Writer: Chris Claremont
Artist: Jim Lee

What Went Down: This issue starts off with Magneto telling the X-Men to back off and allow him to deal with his Acolytes personally. You can probably guess how that goes. Psylocke learns the hard way that she shouldn’t attack people up close when Fabian Cortez hands her a beat down; this is pretty impressive since Betsy is a trained ninja. We also learn Cortez’s power, which is to amplify a mutant’s power, and he uses it to give the telepathic Psylocke a really big headache.

While all this is occurring, Nick Fury and Val Cooper are meeting at the U.N. with a bunch of world leaders, debating whether to take preemptive measures against Magneto. A Genoshan soldier calls them and tells them to get off their duffs and do something.

An angry mob of humans attacks Psylocke, but the Beast saves her. If you continue to read this blog, you will note that the X-Men have a very long tradition of being attacked by angry mobs of people—probably more so than any other super hero team. Wolverine and Cyclops manage to get captured by Magneto off panel, and when the rest of the team tries to save them, the Acolyte Chrome freezes them in metal. Later Cortez tells Magneto that an anomaly was found in his DNA.

Over at the mansion, Xavier follows the hysterical Moira MacTaggert to the boathouse, outside of the secure facility. As Charles attempts to comfort her, Magneto shows up and lifts the boathouse into space. He then forces Moira to explain how she tried to cure an instability in his nervous system, that may be the reason he is evil, during the period of time he was transformed into a child by Alpha in Defenders #16. Magneto sees it for what it was, manipulation of his free will, and demands Moira use the procedure on the X-Men or he will kill them all.

On to Russia, where Matsuo Tsurayaba (owner of the worst name in super villain history) and a group of Russian Soldiers are taking advantage of the power outage over Russia to steal a coffin. This is foreshadowing for the next arc.

The Blue Team tells Professor X that they are joining Magneto of their own free will (even though they’re not).

And finally, the Gold Team is back at the Mansion running simulations in the Danger Room and trying to figure out how they are going to defeat the Blue Team, the Acolytes, and Magneto all at the same time. Nick Fury calls to tell them that Russia has enacted the Magneto Protocols, which consist of firing a nuclear laser into space and using it to shoot down Asteroid M.

How It Was: Well, the art is still wonderful, but there is less to praise this time around; parts of it feel very rushed and uneven. The fight at the beginning particularly suffers when, out of the blue, Cyclops and Wolverine are already restrained by Magneto. Then, when the others go to save them, one of the Acolytes abruptly ends the battle with his powers. Uhmm… why didn’t he just do that last issue? Also, there is now a second unknown female Acolyte appearing in the background of Asteroid M. Plus there is a strange sequence where a helicopter attacks Magneto, and he just uses his powers on the rockets it shoots at him—despite the fact that at the same time he announces that the weapons are made of plastics, so that he can’t use his powers on them.

I’m of two minds about the Magneto mind control plot. On the one hand, it is nice to see the heroes making questionable decisions, and it gives Magneto’s perspective about not being able to trust people more validity. And while Magneto is right to feel taken advantage of as a child, you can still see Moira’s justification in trying to prevent the boy from becoming a crazy murderer when he grows up.

On the other hand, we’re dealing with plot lines from the seventies; well over a decade and a half prior to this issue being written. It’s hard to imagine fans being familiar with that material at the time, let alone if they were to read these stories today. And it does feel like another attempt to undercut Magneto’s heroic deeds. Furthermore, the issue ends with mind controlled X-Men, which is a reoccurring theme in Claremont penned books; the previous story arc in Uncanny dealt with the Shadow King who had taken control of certain members of the team to fight the rest. Still, the art is fantastic, the cover is fantastic, and Magneto is still being written particularly well by Claremont for this story.

B-

Additional Random Note: Just take a look at that cover price. One Dollar… it is hard to believe I ever lived in such a glorious time.

X-Men #1

Welcome back, True Believers, to my very first summary/review/rant of the X. Remember, it’s 1991, and there are now two monthly X-Men titles running concurrently: Uncanny X-Men, which had been running for thirty years, and plain, old adjectiveless X-Men, which began with this issue. Normally Uncanny highlighted the exploits of Storm’s Gold Team, while X-Men featured Cyclops’ Blue Team, but after a year or two, everyone pretty much blended together. Anyway, please enjoy.

X-Men #1
Writer: Chris Claremont and Jim Lee
Art: Jim Lee and Scott Williams

What Went Down: This was a double sized issue, so this is gonna be a long description. It is the dawn of a new age for the X-Men, where it’s out with the old and in with the older as the original X-Men rejoin the team. But our story actually begins in space where a group of SHIELD agents (the ones in the green space suits) are pursuing a band of mutant fugitives (the ones in the yellow space suits) who have hijacked a space ship. Magneto interrupts, destroying all the ships, and taking everyone aboard his base, Asteroid M. The mutant fugitives convince Magneto to come out of retirement because his people need him. Meanwhile, officials in Russia are panicking because Magneto’s base is orbiting right above their country, and they are about to execute something called The Magneto Protocols (more on this next issue). This in turn concerns President George Bush and Nick Fury, who are worried that a war between Magneto and Russia might escalate. There is only one hope for the safety of the world.

Over at the newly rebuilt X-mansion, the X-Men are testing their base’s defenses… except later it turns out that everything took place in the confines of the holographic Danger Room, which is basically the equivalent of the Holodeck on Star Trek (Feel. So. Nerdy). Wolverine wins the exercise, waves his claws really close to Xavier, and gets in a fight with Cyclops over it, thus reestablishing that they really don’t like each other.

Nick Fury calls the X-Men and explains the conflict of the story to them. Everyone is conflicted because Magneto used to be an ally, but was also their greatest enemy. The team is split up and the Blue Squad is sent to intercept Magneto, who is stealing nuclear missiles from the Lenningrad, a Russian submarine he sank back in Uncanny #149.

The Blue Team attacks; Magneto is surprised by how aggressively his former teammates are fighting him. He flees, but not before detonating one of the missiles which destroys a bunch of Russian fighter planes, knocks out power in Russia, and knocks Rogue all of the way to Genosha, an island off the coast of Africa.

Upon returning to Asteroid M, Magneto expresses his frustration at fighting his former allies. Fabian Cortez, one of the mutants he saved earlier, uses his powers to heal Magneto, and then takes the rest of his group, now called the Acolytes, to Genosha to find Rogue… for some reason, probably revenge.

The Acolytes attack and kill Genoshan soldiers, and capture Rogue, until the rest of the Blue Team arrives and another fight ensues. Wolverine recognizes Cortez’s smell, but never brings it up again. Psylocke remarks about how strange it is that she chooses to fight up close rather than just using her telepathy to take out enemies. The fight is interrupted by Magneto, who acknowledges that his Acolytes were wrong to attack Genosha, but refuses to leave them to be persecuted by the local government. The issue ends with Moira MacTaggert throwing a hysterical fit and blaming herself for the entire conflict.

How It Was: A very good start to what would become Marvel’s number one franchise. Jim Lee’s pencils are quite enjoyable to look at, and the story is very fast paced and has some nice one-liners to add some levity. The nice thing is that even though a lot of things were getting swept under the rug in a hurry, such as Magneto’s turn as a hero, Claremont still takes the time to acknowledge the characters’ uneasiness about it. The great thing about Claremont’s Magneto is that he is not necessarily wrong in this instance. He just wants to procure the nukes as a means of deterring other world powers from threatening him. The X-Men on the other hand just want to prevent an international incident, but why is it wrong for Russia to feel threatened by him when Magneto already feels threatened by Russia? Also, all of the fight scenes are very bright and exciting. There is an especially good sequence where Magneto gets knocked inside the submarine, comes face to face with the remains of all the men he killed, and is overcome with guilt and memories of his own childhood in a concentration camp. Even though this is a hitting of the reset button for him, this is still a really great issue for Magneto.

On the negative side, a few details stick out. All of the Acolytes, other than Cortez, are really, really boring—so much so that they all die after this arc. There’s Delegado, who can grow, Chrome, who can turn people into other substances and fly, and… uh, some girl, who can… err… well she uses a gun. They’re all one-dimensional zealots, none of whom really stand out. On top of that, there is the needlessly complicated defection of SHIELD agent Harry Delgado to the ranks of the Acolytes. Wolverine brings up the fact that he’s not sure whether it is the same Delgado or just a mutant with the same name or he’s being brainwashed, but then it is never brought up again. And speaking of confusing, the opening team exercise doesn’t make a whole lot of sense; it appears that the X-Men are assaulting the mansion to “capture” Jean and the Professor, but if they are actually in the Danger Room, then what are the walls and sewers connected to, and how do they actually get to the control room?

And now a few minor character nitpicks. Some of the dialogue stands out as particularly dreadful, such as Wolverine exclaiming out loud, “We’re s’posed t’be working t’gether, as a team! But what the heck… man wants to play lonewolf, he can take the consequences.” Also, Psylocke acts like a complete moron by not taking advantage of her powers, and even realizes it herself. Being generous, this can be written off as an effect of her body transfer, although that story hadn’t been worked out yet. And Moira’s nervous breakdown borders on sexist caricature when she won’t stop crying despite every character explaining to her why she isn’t to blame. Women can be so emotional, I guess, but this portrayal is really at odds with the strong, brilliant, machine gun toting lassie that we’ve all grown to know and love. Oh, and it’s kind of weird that Professor X never really deals with the recrippling of his legs. Think about it, how many characters can say they’ve been crippled twice? Actually today it’s more like three times, with a fourth possibly on the way. In spite of all of this, it’s still a solid effort. The lack of interesting new villains is overshadowed by the dynamic portrayal of Magneto, and Claremont is able to demonstrate that he knows these characters inside and out.

B+

The Dream Teams

Just so there is no confusion, I thought it would be helpful to list out the team rosters in 1991 so that I don’t have to take up the space in another post. Back in 1991, and the beginning of X-Men #1, we have:

The Blue Squad (appearing in X-Men): Cyclops, Wolverine, Rogue, Gambit, Psylocke, Beast, and later Jubilee.

The Gold Squad (appearing in Uncanny X-Men): Storm, Jean Grey, Colossus, Archangel, and Iceman.

Other support characters: Professor X, Banshee, Forge, and Dr. Moira MacTaggert.

A Not Very Brief Intro Prior to X-Men #1

Before getting to my very first review, I feel it necessary to create a brief introduction for those unfamiliar with the phenomenon known as the X-Men and to provide context for the significance of this landmark issue, other than the number one on the cover. Yes, I am aware that this is a new blog, nobody is reading it, and the whole exercise is made meaningless by the fact that this introductory post will be buried after a couple of weeks, but so be it. For those of you already familiar with the history of the X-Men, or who don’t really give a toss, feel free to skip the next two paragraphs.

Anyhoo, the year was 1963 when Stan Lee and Jack Kirby created a group of five white teenagers with superpowers and really ugly costumes, led by their bald, wheelchair bound teacher and leader, Professor X. While this fact is considered completely unremarkable by anybody who reads comic books regularly, I still find myself constantly surprised by people familiar with the X-Men who do not believe that they are actually that old. Anyways, unlike Lee’s other creations such as Spider-man and The Fantastic Four, the X-Men were not a breakout hit and struggled to find readers. This was prior to the adoption of the “persecuted minorities holding back the prejudice that could start a genetic war” theme that would come to define the series, as well as the introduction of any blade wielding Canadians. Plus the team was a group of students based at a school, and everyone knows children hate school. And then there were the costumes. Man, those things were hard to look at; they even made Jean Grey look hideous. As other writers took over the book, slowly the title began to look like what it is today with personalized costumes that were slightly less horrible, stronger social relevance in the storylines, and Cyclops and Jean Grey finally acknowledging their mutual attraction. Then it was cancelled in 1970 with issue #66.

Okay, cancelled is maybe too strong a word, even if it is completely accurate… for the most part. After a break for a couple of months, the X-Men returned with a bimonthly schedule. Except these weren’t new stories, they were old stories repackaged with new covers and back up material. Not the best marketing strategy ever, but whatever works. And so the X-Men remained in continuity limbo until Dave Cockrum and Len Wein brought us Giant-Sized X-Men #1. In it, a bunch of characters who aren’t the X-Men save a bunch of people who are the X-Men, and in doing so become X-Men. And who could forget the X-Men’s greatest nemesis, Krakoa: The Living Island! Well, I’ll tell you who—pretty much everyone who ever worked on the X-Men afterwards. But this was a turning point with the introduction of such iconic characters as Nightcrawler, Colossus, Storm, and of course the most famous X-Man of all: the character that has come to embody the entire series, all of its spinoffs, and the entire Marvel comics line up in general. Yes, of course I’m talking about Sunfire, the hotheaded Japanese mutant with flame powers that just can’t get along with anyone. Wait, he had already appeared in the original series. I’m just messing with you; it was actually Hugh Jackman.

I bring all this up not to bore you or demonstrate how huge of a nerd I am (even though I’ve probably just done both), but to point out that the X-Men were dead in the water, condemned to C-list super hero obscurity until this point in 1975. It was at this point that Chris Claremont took over with Uncanny X-Men #94 and helped build them into the phenomenon that they are today. Without Claremont’s stories, the X-Men would be just another one of the various super hero titles that Marvel endlessly relaunches every couple of years until it inevitably gets cancelled time after time. For 188 issues, Claremont created or redefined just about every character, concept, and idea that the X-Men are even remotely associated with today. He made them so successful that the X-Men were ready for a new challenge in 1991: a second monthly title. With more than one title shipping every month, the X-Men were now in the same league as Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, and Archie. Unfortunately, the opening arc of this new title, cleverly titled X-Men, would be Claremont’s last… for a really long while! Editors Note: Actually it’s probably really fortunate, since when Claremont returned with issue #100, it was absolutely atrocious, but we’ll get to that in about 200 or so posts.

So yes X-Men volume two, number one stands as the end of Chris Claremont’s epic, and nearly unheard of, 17 years straight on the X-Men. That’s significant fact number one. Number two is that this issue sold more copies than any other comic book ever has, before or since. Yes, this issue is the Thriller of comics, the Michael Jordan of funny books, and the Avatar of polly-bagged treasures. Since a record eight million copies were sold, obviously it must be regarded as the greatest comic ever written, drawn, or published. If only there was a better way to denote sarcasm in type, besides the emoticon with its tongue sticking out (:b). At any rate, the reasons for the issues success are three fold:

1. My very least favorite comic book gimmick: the variant cover. X-Men #1 had five of the suckers, which would create a single, complete picture if you put them next to each other. Well four of them would—the fifth had a fold out cover that revealed the whole picture in all of its glory. Personally, I dislike variant covers because they make collecting that much more confusing, and I feel that making a cosmetic change to an already decent product is exploitative, but to each their own. If you are the type of person who likes to spend twenty or thirty bucks buying the same issue repeatedly, who am I to judge?

2. A complete misunderstanding by the public of the back issue market. Around 1990-1991, news organizations around the country were busy reporting stories about Golden and Silver Age back issues that had sold for hundreds and thousands of dollars. At around the same time, a certain well-established and successful franchise started a new series with a #1 on the cover, just like all of those old comics on TV that started out as a quarter and then became equal in value to an Olsen twin. However, in the grand traditions of sensationalism and modern journalism, these stories failed to mention that these prices were due to the rarity of Gold and Silver Age comics in good condition, as well as the fact that most of these issues were sought out because of the creators that worked on them and the demand for the stories more so than the arbitrary issue number on the cover.

Regardless, fans ate it up, and Marvel and DC continued to exploit fans for years by labeling number one issues as collectors items, having shiny cardboard stock covers, including holograms… lots of holograms, and using any other trick in the book until the Speculator Crash of 1996, where people realized Cage #1 was crap no matter how shiny the cover and stopped buying comics in such large quantities—and Marvel had to file for bankruptcy. Whoops! To be fair, the bankruptcy wasn’t completely because of the crash; it also had to do with the investment of millions of dollars in movies that either never got made or were so terrible that they couldn’t be released (i.e. the 1994 Fantastic Four movie). Double Whoops! With 8,000,000 copies sold, X-Men was an undeniable success for Marvel, but today has little to no value as a collectible; you could probably go online right now and buy enough copies to wallpaper your entire room and it would be cheaper than actual wallpaper.

3. Many people were actually interested in the story. Nineteen ninety-one marked a bold new direction for the X-Men—a return to the status quo of the seventies and early eighties! Around this period in X-history, the X-Men had been working out of a base in Australia, Magneto had been an ally and leader of the New Mutants (the next generation of young mutants being trained by the X-Men) for a while, Professor X was walking, and the original X-Men were off hanging out in their own title as a different team called X-Factor. The mission statement for this new X-Men series was simple; undo everything Claremont and other creators had done in the last couple of years.

So the X-Men move back to the Xavier Institute, X-Factor rejoins the X-Men, Professor X gets recrippled, and Magneto becomes a villain again, returning all to the natural, safe order of things. Side note: I wonder why Claremont left after the first three issues? Oh, also there are new costumes designed by Jim Lee that become the default costumes for the majority of the decade. Anyway, things seemed to work out for Marvel pretty well. So well in fact that if you fast forward all the way to 2010, Marvel is getting ready to do the exact same thing with their Avengers franchise, booting out the New Avengers and replacing them with the old Avengers so they can be the new Avengers. Come to think of it, they did the same thing with the Avengers in 1998 with Heroes Return, after all of that Heroes Reborn garbage. I guess that’s why they call Marvel The House of Ideas.

In any case, that’s why X-Men #1 matters. It’s also pretty important for story purposes, at least for the following couple of years. So what have we learned from all of this? I guess I learned that comic publishers will stop at nothing to make a profit, even if it eventually leads to the detriment of the entire comics industry years down the line. If you continue to read my posts in the weeks to come, you’ll learn that long term planning was not the strong suit of the X-office, but luckily the genuine coolness of the characters has managed to keep the X-books afloat for years. Also, if you’re an X-Men fan, make sure you give thanks for Chris Claremont… and Jim Lee… and Stan Lee and Jack Kirby of course… and me for telling you all of this… just kidding. Ellipses are fun. Anyways, please come back!

In the Beginning There Was Just Me

Greetings, and welcome to yet another page on the Internet dedicated to directing disparaging remarks at the work of others—brought to you by a person with no real qualifications to say such things, other than access to a computer and an overconfidence that his own capabilities as a writer might be more well received than the works that are being judged. Or at least that is what I think every time I read a review of anything that disagrees with my own personal opinion. Like many of you, I have cheered when something I enjoy is celebrated for the unparalleled expression of genius that it is (such as anything written by a certain entertainment revolutionary named Joss Whedon). Alternately, I too have scoffed any time something I deemed as exceptional and entertaining went without its deserved recognition, or something I found unbearable was mistakenly labeled as remarkable. Fans hate critics; fans love critics. Fans depend on critics for their suggestions, their insights, and for a necessary target to direct all of their hatred and resentment towards at the slightest hint of disagreement. Or at least, that’s how I see it.

So why then would I choose to throw my beret into the vast and hostile world of comic book criticism? What right do I have to make comments, since I could never feasibly write or provide art for any legitimate comic book myself? Why would I ever expose myself to the risk of treading on the feelings of fans across the world? Feelings forged through years of devotion and support to a given franchise; feelings that have been shaped by, and in many cases just plain shaped, the personal and cultural sensibilities of said fans. Why would I take time and exert effort on a task that bears no chance of physical or financial rewards and subjects me to the risk of being openly mocked by anonymous people, who may or may not be better than me, for anyone in the world to potentially stumble across and see? Well, let’s see:

1. I love the X-Men! It’s not just a hobby—I don’t just like them as friends. After following their exploits for more than three fifths of my natural life in comic books, cartoons, and movies, and after knowing them for longer than the majority of my friends, my stepmother, and her entire family, I think I am justified in saying that I love them. The huge cast of characters, the battles, the relationships, the cliffhanger endings, the humorous quips, the colorful costumes with Xs all over them; what’s not to love? They have a strong and relatable family dynamic (although less so in recent times), they deal with our own personal fears and insecurities about fitting in or changes to the status quo on an almost issue-to-issue basis, and they are probably one of the most diverse teams in comics’ history. Where else could you find an orphaned pickpocket/former African tribal goddess leading a misfit team against a Holocaust survivor in a purple cape who is threatening to flip the poles of the Earth as a preemptive measure in order to prevent the potential subjugation of his race by what he perceives as the dark inevitability of human nature?

I could talk, or I guess type, about why the X-Men rock for hours and hours. Because of this passion, I hold nothing but admiration for the elite creator able to utilize the rich history and personalities of the X-universe to craft a tale that has the potential to rival anything on television or in the movies today. However, I have nothing but disgust and ridicule for those creators that blatantly ignore continuity and character development, change characters for the sake of change, or stretch out concepts and stories well beyond the number of issues that can possibly sustain them. I denounce these creators; not to their faces of course, but rather in an Internet blog that they will hopefully never, ever read. The trouble with this distinction is that the X-Men creators responsible for your very favorite stories are often also responsible for the ones that you just can’t stand. Unless you’re talking about the Peter Milligan run which was completely unremarkable one way or the other, but we’ll get to that in a couple of months… or years. Ahh, my first undeserved swipe at a well respected industry professional, oh my God what a rush! Maybe this is the real reason why so many people do this.

2. There aren’t a lot of people to talk about comics with. Outside of my best friend and the people who work at the local comic store, nobody really gets it. You can’t really talk about comics on dates, at work, or with your parents, and those friends that don’t openly ridicule you just won’t understand why it matters that Chris Claremont’s second X-Men run (circa 2000) was such a monumental disappointment or why Wolverine’s peripheral participation in Marvel’s Civil War event was completely unacceptable (Why’s he on so many of the covers?). We are blessed to live in a time where people are more familiar and understanding about comic book fandom due to the abundance of blockbuster movies that present these beloved characters as watered down versions of their printed selves.

While I’ve allowed friends to borrow comics that I suggested for them, there are certain conversations I just can’t have with them—I have all of these opinions that I must share, but only to people who care. I’m looking for people as passionate (i.e. crazy) as me; people who are bothered that Juggernaut’s return to villainy almost completely ignores the relationship he had with the Fishboy who was initially responsible for his heroic reversion, or that Cannonball’s depiction as a bumbling novice in his earliest appearances as a member of the X-Men completely undermines the portrayal of him as the seasoned leader he was as a member of teams like X-Force and later issues of the New Mutants (see earlier complaints about ignoring continuity). Conversely, there are those fans that care enough to call me an idiot and explain why Juggernaut as a hero was crap and everything related to that story arc should be ignored as fast as possible; they’re great, too. And finally there are the newer fans that are unfamiliar with what I’m writing about, but curious nonetheless. These are the people that may just understand that part of me that few in my everyday life ever will.

3. I just finished filling in the holes in my collection, and I now own everything from the start of the second X-Men series until now for Uncanny and ordinary X-Men. This seems as good a place to start as any, and with the majority of blogs and media websites focusing on new releases, I thought I might try to differentiate myself just a little bit. Which isn’t to say that there aren’t any other avenues for reading opinions and summaries of old X-Men comics, it’s just that I don’t know of many. If there are, they are probably a whole lot better and more professional than mine. Basically, this just gives me a reason to reread all of those issues of X-Men and Uncanny X-Men in order to better understand how they fit together. Hopefully this either inspires a welcome hit of nostalgia for you, or if you are newer to the X-nation, fills in some of the blanks. Special thank you shout out to my local Comic Swap of State College, PA, and a delightful store in Flint, Michigan by the name of Jellybeans for making this all possible by taking my money.

4. I just finished the first draft of my master’s thesis and it was so tedious, stressful, and time consuming to do that it almost completely eroded my desire to write anything ever again. In fact, I haven’t written anything for myself in a very long time, so even if nobody ever reads this blog, or likes it, it still will serve a function.

5. Marvel is going to start reprinting all these stories eventually (X-Men #1-7 are coming out in hardback this spring), and I just might be doing a noble service in helping people decide whether or not these purchases are worthwhile for them, effectively initiating new readers into the magical world of the X-Men or comic books in general, and repaying Marvel for the years of enjoyment that they’ve provided me. Or I will be completely ruining the stories for people who haven’t read them yet; I’m not exactly sure which. All I’m certain of is that I have no reason to repay Marvel when I’ve already paid them a substantial portion of all of the money I’ve ever had, as well as my parents’ money, and continue to do so on a weekly basis. Anyways, in case I forget to say it later, SPOILERS. There, now you can’t get mad at me; it’s there, in print.

And there you have it. In case you didn’t get it from the vague, drawn out introduction, I’ll be rereading and reviewing X-Men comics from the 90s to today. But by the time I get to today, today will probably be a while ago. Also, I’ll try to do other issues that tie into them if I have access to them, such as crossovers, mini-series, and one-shots, but be prepared for the fact that I don’t own them all. I’m going to try to keep it in chronological order (Marvel comics continuity that is), but things can get really complicated with two ongoing series, multiple peripheral titles, and multi-issue arcs. I’ll try to post twice a week, but you should be familiar enough with the Internet, and real life, to know how that goes. After a while, I might throw in my opinions about comic movies or comic video games or comics that don’t have anything to do with the X-Men. And there is even a small chance of something completely unrelated to comics making its way here. Comments and questions are welcomed, criticisms are fine, insults are frowned upon but okay as long as they aren’t too vulgar. After all, it’s not like you’ll be able to see me cry or anything. Seeing me cry is definitely not okay. Oh, and grammar hounds, go nuts. I’m an English major and I not only understand, but also appreciate the desire to clean up spelling and punctuation, especially on the Internet. Anyways, please come back!