X-Men #54

X-Men #54
Writing: Mark Waid
Art: Andy Kubert

What Went Down: Outside the mansion, Cannonball is sitting up in a tree watching Xavier in his study. Cyclops walks by, and empathizes with Sam about how hard the Professor can be on his students. He brushes off the weird behavior as something bigger just bothering Xavier. Oddly, a charged card seems to whiz by Cyclops while he’s talking, only to reveal Gambit and the rest of the X-Men searching for Juggernaut on the school grounds. Cyclops decides that Xavier is too stressed, and shouldn’t be alerted unless absolutely necessary, so the team splits up to look around.

In the psi-shielded chamber, Juggernaut states his admiration that Xavier would fake his own death and act like such a creep. Jean starts reading his mind, but realizes that Juggernaut left the door open, so Onslaught could still know what they were doing. When she shuts it, her telepathic bond with Cyclops is severed, worrying him. Sam wonders why they don’t just use Cerebro to find Juggernaut, but Storm explains that he’s a human. Iceman asks Beast if he remembers their first encounter with the villain, and of course he gets the details wrong.

Meanwhile in Jersey, the authentic Beast is finally breaking free of the chains in his cell. He goes through the trap door, only to be stopped by some people behind him. At the mansion, Cyclops bursts through the doors to Xavier’s study to tell him about the severed psionic link. Xavier notes that he can no longer sense her either, but he seems unworried about it. Cyclops discovers that Xavier is researching Franklin Richards, the son of Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Woman of the Fantastic Four. Xavier claims he doesn’t remember pulling up that data. He agrees to search for Jean, and tells Scott to turn off the defenses when he learns about the Juggernaut’s presence.

In the chamber, Cain relives the experience of finding the Cyttorak Gem and turning into Juggernaut. In his mind, he and Jean focus on a black obelisk that represents the memory block. In the study, Xavier contemplates all his recent failures. A news report shows that one of the teens responsible for killing the mutant back in X-Men: Prime has been arrested. He gives a racist statement, causing Xavier to smash the TV and trash his office.

Jean discovers who Onslaught is, even though Juggernaut still doesn’t know. Instead of telling him who it is, she just tells him to run. Leaving the chamber without his helmet, Juggernaut’s perceptions are warped M.C. Escher-style. Terrified, Cain seeks out his stepbrother, only to find his hoverchair empty. Onslaught grabs him, stabs him in the stomach, and pulls out the Cyttorak Gem, as well as revealing that Xavier and Onslaught are the same person. Then Xavier summons the X-Men to his study.

How It Was: Low and behold, this issue opens with Cannonball, former leader of the “edgier” X-book—X-Force, pouting in a tree after being yelled at by Xavier. This is the kind of thing that drove fans crazy in the 90s, but the X-office continued to write him as a wet-behind-the-ears novice until he left the team to go back with X-Force. Meanwhile the X-writers seem intent to giveaway the reveal at the end of the issue by having Xavier act so over the top evil towards Cyclops that any other reveal for Onslaught wouldn’t have made any sense. Plus the rest of the X-Men are searching for Juggernaut, so they have nothing to do for the entire issue.

Waid goes for a horror movie motif with Jean and Juggernaut, building the tension of whether the monster will find them until he jumps out and “stabs” Juggy to “death.” Unfortunately, like a horror movie, we get the main characters making lots of stupid decisions, such as leaving the door to the psi-proof room open, or having the pair split up after Jean learns the bad guy’s identity and chooses not to share it with her ally. It all comes off as rather dumb and plot convenient, plus Juggernaut is once again being wheeled out to make Onslaught look more impressive by comparison, exactly like the issue twelve months ago.

Also, most of the Jean/Juggernaut sequences are made up of unnecessary flashbacks and exposition about past stories to pad the issue out until the writer can get to the end. Waid seems to be leaning particularly hard on the Z’Nox story as an example of a less virtuous Xavier to somehow justify his transformation into Onslaught, which seems unnecessary, but maybe they were still creating the character as they were going.

And at least having Xavier as Onslaught leads to some interesting story ideas. If you want to talk about a huge anti-climax, then we’ll talk about the Beast’s plot line. Here he breaks his chains (why wouldn’t he have done this first thing?) and escapes through the trapdoor, only to be recaptured a couple of pages later. How’s that for plot progression? Very, Very Tiring. This is a very weak ending, or beginning depending on how you look at it. The identity of the main villain is pretty much a gimme, and all the other characters are pretty much running around in circles or filling up panels to get to that spoiled ending.

C

Uncanny X-Men #334

Uncanny X-Men #344
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down: Juggernaut emerges from a lake near the Xavier Institute. He swims underwater again and takes out some cameras. Up in the actual mansion, Bishop is trying to fix Cerebro after it overloaded in X-Men #51. He recognizes the technology from his time, but wonders what happened to stunt technology development to such a degree, which doesn’t make sense since Cerebro is obviously far more advanced than any other computer of its time. Gambit pops in, and Bishop calls him Remy for the first time. They discuss how Sinister’s attack in X-Men #52 reassured Bishop that he wasn’t crazy, and then an intruder alarm goes off, so they go to check it out.

Cyclops is in the Danger Room, shooting a bunch of drones. Jean bursts in, telling him they need to talk. She tells him about Onslaught’s attack on her, and that as time passes she remembers less and less. When Scott suggests going to Xavier, she becomes scared and tells him to wait. In Colorado, Archangel is trying to contact the mansion, but having no luck. This is odd, since Juggernaut destroyed his home last month in X-Men #53, so it’s probably a mistake on the writers’ parts. Psylocke is also unable to contact them with her telepathy, but she says it might be due to the Crimson Dawn. They decide to go to Westchester.

In Xavier’s study, Cannonball is telling the Professor how he feels guilty for not preventing Wolverine’s transformation in Wolverine #100. Xavier overreacts, yells at the youth for being so weak, and dismisses him.

Bishop and Gambit take a water skimmer out to the lake to find the disturbance. The Juggernaut attacks and knocks them both out. In Beast’s lab, the Dark Beast is examining Wolverine while Iceman and Storm watch. Dark Beast points out the ludicrousness of his counterpart's role in the X-Men, wondering how many scientific duties he was asked to perform at a given time. Wolverine breaks free of the restraints and runs off. Storm goes after him, but she is interrupted by Cannonball, who wants to talk about the Professor.

Bastion shows up backstage at a Graydon Creed rally and tells him off for stupidly attacking Senator Kelly last issue. Jean goes into the lake house, but discovers Gambit and Bishop unconscious on the floor. Juggernaut appears and tells her he’s not there to fight. He asks for Jean’s help because he knows Onslaught’s identity, but he can’t remember it. As a sign of good faith, he removes his helmet.

In the War Room, Xavier is going over files on the Age of Apocalypse’s Nate Grey, who attacked him in X-Man #10—a quote/unquote pivotal battle. Cyclops shows up because Xavier sent for him, and Xavier proceeds to tell him how big of a disappointment he is. He then tells Scott to stay strong, and reveals himself to be a telepathic projection. On the comlink, Xavier tells him that this was a test.

Jean takes Juggernaut to an underground, psi-shielded chamber that Xavier used to prepare for the Z’nox Invasion, back when he faked his own death.

The issue concludes by announcing that X-Men #54 will reveal the identity of Onslaught, but you’ve probably already figured it out from the previous page. There’s also a section recapping all of the previous mentions of Onslaught from the other X-Books, even though next month they’ll all be made trivial.

How It Was: This marks pretty much the height of the Bishop/Gambit bromance. After Onslaught, Gambit moves onto a love triangle with Rogue and Joseph while Bishop does nothing for a while before being blasted into space…seriously. But it has been kind of nice seeing the former enemies’ friendship grow, even if its sole purpose is to make the X-traitor subplot relevant again for the big reveal during Onslaught. Sure, having Bishop call Gambit “Remy” is a little sappy, but for what it is it works. And it means that Bishop will finally stop whining about his visions and dreams from another world. Unlike last time, the Juggernaut gets to show off his power by easily overpowering the X-Men and not acting like a hysterical girl, as he did in Uncanny #322.

Lobdell and Waid must have gone through all the original X-Men issues looking for ideas, because this issue brings us a plot device from the long, long forgotten Z’nox plotline of Uncanny #65. Once again while it is a neat little Easter egg for diehard fans, I doubt many people remembered, or even were familiar with, this obscure nod to the sixties. What’s really great is seeing Jean take such an active role in the series after being Cyclops’ partner for so long. Her conflict over whether to trust Xavier is very well handled. There is definitely a feeling of intensity, even now, in her scenes with Juggernaut as she worries about Onslaught discovering them.

However, the mystery is pretty much ruined by the fact that the writers have dropped almost all pretenses to the fact that Xavier is Onslaught. I guess his lashing out could be viewed potentially as Onslaught just manipulating him, but I think it’s pretty clear with the way he handles Cannonball at his desk that he’s being set up as a bad guy in all of this. Oh, and even though I’m really starting to dislike Dark Beast’s plot, I love how he points out how many jobs the real Beast does for the X-Men; he’s a biologist, chemist, medical doctor, virologist, mechanic, and physicist whenever the story necessitates it.

The fact that Archangel and Psylocke are fine in Warren’s house in Colorado is a pretty glaring error. On top of that, the narrative is still talking about Warren’s wing injuries, which is really getting old. And Psylocke is already starting to blame plot mechanics on the plot device that is the Crimson Dawn, a bad trend that just gets worse from here on out. Betsy’s acting weird? Crimson Dawn. She’s got new powers that are necessary for the plot to move on? Crimson Dawn? She can’t do something she normally does? It’s probably the Crimson Dawn. On the other hand, having Bastion call Graydon Creed out for being a moron is pretty entertaining to read.

Overall, the middle chapter in the Onslaught setup trilogy proves to be uneven. The mystery of Onslaught’s identity almost seems futile at this point due to the writing, and Psylocke and Archangel’s participation seems peripheral at best. Some decent character moments make this a little above mediocre, and it does set up everything nicely for the finale, anticlimactic as it is.

C+

X-Men #53

X-Men #53
Writing: Mark Waid
Art: Andy Kubert

Note: See X-Men Unlimited #11 next

What Went Down: Jean Grey is out shopping for clothes. She seems to be having difficulty keeping people’s thoughts out of her mind when she is telepathically forced to the astral plane by Onslaught, who now has an actual character design. Onslaught claims that he’s ushering in a flashpoint in human-mutant relations and shows Jean that her body has also disappeared from the store. Many of the people have unflattering thoughts about her. Onslaught appears to destroy the store, but reveals it as an illusion in the next panel.

In New Jersey, the real Beast is being held in a dungeon by the Dark Beast. Beast accidentally breaks his water source, but this reveals a trap door in the floor. Onslaught takes Jean to Graydon Creed’s campaign headquarters to reveal the hypocrisy of humanity. We discover that Creed’s campaign manager doesn’t really care about the anti-mutant cause, but that he is willing to persecute the mutant race just for a chance to get to the White House. Jean tells Onslaught she’s aware of people like this, which is why she surrounds herself with people she can trust.

In Colorado, Psylocke is in bed, still screaming as a result of the shadows around her. From the shadows, the Juggernaut emerges (I believe this is his return from the Malibu Exiles’ universe). Juggy wonders where he is. Strangely, Betsy says she scanned his mind even though his helmet is still on. Juggernaut announces that he knows an important secret, but he can’t remember it, so he destroys the cabin instead. Then he begins his journey to Westchester because he says he can only trust one person with his mind.

Onslaught takes Jean to the X-mansion, where they journey inside Xavier’s mind effortlessly. Onslaught accuses Xavier of being just as big a hypocrite as the rest of the humans. Jean claims they have a special bond, citing the instance in the sixties where Xavier faked his death, but shared his secret with only her. Onslaught shakes her image of Xavier by showing her Xavier’s thoughts from Uncanny X-Men #3 (1963), where a thought balloon actually did mention that Xavier was in love with Jean. Onslaught infers that Xavier just repressed this feeling like every other negative emotion he has. On the astral plane, Onslaught covers Jean in green slime to symbolize all of Xavier’s fears and negative feelings.

Over in South Carolina, Joseph—the de-aged, former Magneto, has stumbled upon a community picnic outside. They seem friendly, but there is a sinister undertone to the whole scene.

Back on the astral plane, Onslaught compares himself to the Phoenix Force and asks Jean to join him. Jean refuses, and they fight. Jean asks who he is, but he tells her that she already knows before soundly defeating her. She reappears in the dressing room at the store, and the final page has an effect of Onslaught’s name being burned onto her head, but this isn’t supposed to be literal.

How It Was: This is our first real look at Onslaught, since the X-staff finally decided on what the heck he actually is. It’s a pretty cool design, and Waid succeeds in making Onslaught appear menacing and calculating. At this point, the villain still feels like he actually has a purpose beyond being evil. Here he’s someone I want to read more about.

Jean Grey is a good choice for him to reveal himself to because she hasn’t really had that much to do since before Age of Apocalypse. This issue is solid, although there are some inconsistencies in the story: we never find out why Jean’s body disappears when she goes to the astral plane, and we don’t know why the racist blond cashier knows that Jean is from the Xavier Institute. Still Onslaught does make an interesting case for the weakness of people by bringing up how what they do and how they feel are often in direct conflict with one and other. Not all his examples are super—I feel like the employees are allowed to assume Jean is a shoplifter if she disappears from the store, but the theme of the story is still solid. Also, I’m not sure what is up with Onslaught’s name being burned into Jean’s head; I think it’s a figurative way of showing how Onslaught messed with her head, possibly also explaining how she starts to forget events later.

And Onslaught also has a good point in bringing up that Xavier is as fallible as anyone else, despite being placed on a pedestal by the X-Men. Once again, while the main idea is intriguing, the examples given are kind of weak. Jean seems convinced that since Xavier told her about his fake death, it doesn’t make him a hypocrite, when really it makes both of them hypocrites for hiding this fact from the rest of their teammates. Waid also digs up an obscure quote from 1963 that paints Xavier in a more lecherous light. Yes, it did happen, but it’s obvious that Stan Lee dropped the concept shortly after because even he realized that it was a little creepy. Plus there are more contemporary examples that could’ve been used instead of dragging out this oddity that really has no bearing on the Professor’s character at all.

The Psylocke/Archangel thread is still a mess, but at least something happens. Juggernaut shows up, appearing from shadows for some reason, and trashes Warren’s cabin for the heck of it, in spite of the fact that he wants help from the X-Men. Worst of all, Warren’s cabin appears perfectly fine in the next issue of Uncanny, even though the entire cabin is clearly totaled in this comic. This whole part really makes no sense whatsoever. As for the Beast, it’s nice to see him alive, but he doesn’t get a whole lot to do other than stumble onto a way out that goes nowhere (plotwise). Joseph shows up just long enough to tease his appearance in X-Men Unlimited, where, in a heck of a coincidence, he meets up with Rogue, who just happens to be in the same small town in South Carolina as he is.

The main ideas in this issue work really well, and Onslaught is just new enough to seem novel. It’s just in the little details and subplots where the issue drops the ball. It’s nice that Waid is trying to make use of continuity, but by picking something that so few writers have chosen to acknowledge, the reveal doesn’t really carry as much weight; his experiences with Amelia Voght would have fit in nicely. Still, this is the best that Onslaught ever comes off, so that is an accomplishment in it of itself.

B