Uncanny X-Men #357

Uncanny X-Men #357
Writing: Steven Seagle

Art: Dan Norton

What Went Down:  On the streets of Ptarmigan Creek, Alaska, a swarm of crows has begun to attack people on the street.  Unaware of these events, the original five X-Men enjoy drinks at a local restaurant.  Jean has interrupted the conversation about Scott’s new direction because she finds it too serious for the get-together.  The team sees the pandemonium outside and jump into action. 

Outside they decide to help people while trying to remain incognito.  Each hero takes a turn saving civilians.  Sheriff Chris shows up and shoots a gun in the air, scaring off the birds.  Iceman presents his hypothesis that the crazy shaman is behind this, but nobody believes him. 

At the Agee Institute, Dr. Agee is examining Rogue’s DNA sample. He talks to his sister about how hideous Rogue is now, and how he’ll cure her as he did his sister.  It is revealed that his sister is a horrible looking monster in a glass tube.  At Scott and Jean’s cabin, the team discusses recent events while Jean gets into costume.  Staci’s sister Melissa barges in and sees the team as mutants.  She says she is okay with it because she has six toes on each foot, so she’s a mutant too. 

Up in space, Bishop (remember him) is still strapped to his bed while the ship he and Deathbird are on plummets towards a sun.  He convinces Deathbird to release him, feigning feelings for her, and the two are able to plot a new course towards a nearby planet. 

In Alaska the team gets into costume and splits up to get to the bottom of the rampaging crows.  Iceman goes after the crazy shaman, Beast and Archangel discover toxic waste in the birds’ habitat, and Cyclops and Jean rescue Chris and his deputy from a swarm of birds.  They are initially insulting to the mutants until their lives are saved by the X-Men. 

As the birds converge and the team reunites, the birds form a big person shape.  Jean discovers that one of the birds is a robot and destroys it at the same time that Cyclops blasts the person-shape and Iceman knocks out the shaman.  The bird-person dissipates, although nobody can say who was responsible.  Cyclops’ is weakened from the use of his power exacerbating his injuries, and Iceman discovers that the shaman’s “bag of enchantment” is full of bird see.  As the rest of the team walks away, Iceman sees the Indian guy’s spirit form into a bird and fly off (I think).  The bird announces the end of the issue.

How It Was:  So…this is an issue where the original X-Men fight a lot of birds.  Nuff said.  It really is that simple and there isn’t anything more to it.  Most disappointing of all is the way Jean derails Scott’s new idea for the X-Men; it’s hard to say if Seagle just never got around to it, or if he never had anything and was just teasing it to fill up space.  Either way it’s a bummer.

And then there’s the fighting with the birds.  This issue has some “so ridiculous they’re good” panels in it, such as Cyclops punching birds mid-air or Iceman beating birds with a sandwich board.  It’s the kind of thing that’s so absurd that it sort of works in an unintentionally humorous sort of way. 

Then we get to the ambiguous ending…I can’t tell if it’s supposed to be a true mystery or just playing off of the fact that the plot is so ridiculous that it shouldn’t matter.  It doesn’t really bother me at the end of the day, but I do find the robot bird’s presence a little odd.  There are some story inconsistencies; Cyclops and Jean fret the whole issue over Scott using his power because of his injuries.  However, he also manages to carry a grown man over his shoulder with absolutely no effect whatsoever.  Cyclops and Jean work so hard to maintain a low-profile, but they leave the door unlocked for Melissa to barge right in and learn everything.

Even odder is the pick-up of Bishop’s thread after about four months of losing track of it.  This is a pretty sudden shift, made even more abrupt by the solo focus on Bishop next issue.  As for the events affecting Rogue—this issue more or less states that Agee is crazy, yet the events of #359 seem to brush this aside if I remember right. 

This isn’t something that would sell a new comics reader, but it is fun for longtime X-Men fans to reconnect with the history of the book.  It’s too bad the veteran members of the team could not have had a bigger threat to go up against.  The crows sort of overwhelm this half of the story though, replacing ambiguous suppositions with the fun character moments from last issue.

C

Uncanny X-Men #356

Uncanny X-Men #356
Writing: Steven Seagle

Art: Chris Bachalo

What Went Down:  In the snowy north of Alaska, Archangel, Iceman, and Beast are in a cab on their way to visit Cyclops and Jean.  They’ve traveled all this way after listening to a concerned message from Scott.  The cab they’re in gets hit by a bird and crashes into a moose.  This allows the X-Men to meet secondary character Sheriff Chris Miller—Scott and Jean’s neighbor. Iceman sees a local crazy man and considers that he might be responsible.

Back at the mansion, Wolverine is waiting in the yard for SHIELD with the captive Karl Lykos, the alter ego of Sauron.  Wolverine has recaptured him off-panel after the end of #355.  Rogue shows up in her original costume and tells him she’s going to the city.  After Rogue flies away, there’s a big flash and Lykos is gone, presumably taken by GW Bridge.

In Alaska, the original X-Men are reunited and introduced to Chris’s wife and sister-in-law.  Inside, the X-Men ask Scott why he summoned them.  Scott is hesitant, because he doesn’t want to talk about Jean in front of her, so he talks about wanting to discuss a new direction for the X-Men.  Upstairs Cyclops explains to Beast that he is concerned about Jean’s powers and her wearing of the Phoenix costume.  He mentions that last time he saw Jean wear the costume he was silent while it took her over, but now he wants to stay on top of it. 

Downstairs the X-Men reminisce about the events of Uncanny X-Men #1 and discuss recent events in the comics.  They also discuss trying to find the Professor, although Jean says she’s been looking with her powers.  The room fills with smoke, and Warren flies up to find a dead bird clogging the chimney.  Staci’s sister sees Warren on the roof.

In Manhattan, Rogue observes Dr. Agee to see if she can trust him.  After seeing him leave a research facility called Mutopia, she confronts him.  He claims that Mutopia wanted him to join their consortium, but he declined.  During this conversation, Rogue slips into Gambit’s speech patterns for a moment. 

Scott and Jean take the rest of the X-Men out to a restaurant.  They’re forced to park far away due to a protest of the local Inuits over land rights.  Iceman sees the crazy shaman again, and Cyclops sits down with the X-Men to discuss his bold new direction from Xavier’s dream as a large flock of crows flies over the restaurant.

How It Was:  This is a random one, but it’s full of nostalgia and faithful characterization.  Seagle’s story is reminiscent of the quieter, more character-centric issues of X-Men that Scott Lobdell used to write after a big crossover.  The main difference is that this isn’t after a big crossover; it seems to be setting up a future Phoenix story or a new direction for the team, but it never really gets around to doing either.  All that really happens is an original X-Men reunion with some offbeat Twin Peaks-esque supernatural occurrences happening around it.

In spite of weird tone of the plot, the reunion is actually really nice to see.  Even though the majority of these characters have been in circulation for over thirty years by this point, most of them had been more or less overshadowed at the time by newer, more popular characters like Wolverine, Storm, Rogue, and Gambit.   Seagle nails the relationship of the group perfectly—the playfulness, the desire to help each other, the comfort these characters have around each other, and the way being around each other makes them feel younger.  The scene between Beast and Scott over Jean works really well; the concern Scott expresses feels authentic and it’s a strong use of continuity that reinforces the story, rather than convoluting it.  Seagle also has some fun trying to hide the Beast’s appearance, but the joke might go on for a little too long.

As far as weaknesses…well, Chris and Staci are still one-dimensional as ever, and so is their new sister Melissa.  And the bird storyline is just an odd direction to go; it really feels like a forced reason just to get the team into costume next issue.  There was a focusing on birds in #352 as well, so I do wonder if the cosmic entity in that story was meant to be the reason for Jean’s sudden interest in the Phoenix.  Ah, we’ll never know.  Bachalo makes the most of the imagery, and his designs for the characters are all vibrant (even if he gives Iceman a goofy soul patch). 

Also worth noting, the Rogue/Agee subplot has a lot of setup this issue that never plays off.  The Agee scenes especially are positioning him as a crazy villain, but all this gets forgotten soon enough.  As for Rogue being possessed by Gambit, this doesn’t pay off, except for maybe some throwaway lines from Rogue later.  Seagle’s character work is top notch this issue, even if his plot feels forced.  I like that the spotlight is being directed on characters that haven’t had it on them in a while.  It’s just really a shame that a lot of what is here gets dropped later on.

B-