X-Men #69

X-Men #69
Writing: Scott Lobdell

Art: Carlos Pacheco and Salvador Larroca

What Went Down: The issue begins long after the end of the last one, with Iceman, Marrow, and Cecilia riding an ice slide over the ocean towards Connecticut, the location of Charlotte’s kidnapped son Timmy.  The two girls are still bickering, but they both agree that Sabra might not be trustworthy.

We then get a flashback to Sabra saving the group from the army last issue by dropping a building on them.  Sabra introduces herself to the mutants and tells them that she just so happens to have discovered the location of Charlotte Jones’ son.  After the flashback, Sabra lands on the ice slide.  She explains that she lost her son in a conflict, and doesn’t want it to happen to anybody else.  Marrow decides to jump in the water, to the confusion of everyone else.  She surfaces with a dead Prime Sentinel, impaled on her bones. 

In Washington, the Senator has just finished an amazing (off-panel) speech to the Senate to change their minds about Operation Zero Tolerance.  Henry Gyrich talks to the senator about how he respects the man, even though he is probably destroying his career. 

After reaching a Connecticut beach house, they are ambushed yet again by another group of Prime Sentinels, this time accompanied by Bastion. Iceman pleas for Bastion to release the boy, which he says he will do.  Bastion introduces the old woman from last issue as the closest thing he has to a mother.  He then somehow uses Cecilia’s powers against her.  His mother tells him that he has become a monster.

Marrow decides that the best course of action is to kill Bastion’s mother since she is important to him.  Iceman stops her and freezes everyone; he then attacks Bastion on his own.  As they fight, Iceman gives a long speech about tolerance and letting go of anger; a lot of it has to do with his experiences helping to rehabilitate his father.  Iceman has Bastion on the ropes but refuses to kill him.  The Prime Sentinels catch up and neutralize Bobby’s powers. 

Iceman accuses Bastion of having no humanity, giving the villain pause.  He begins to give an order to his Sentinels, but he is interrupted by SHIELD agents arriving to arrest Bastion and all of OZT.  It seems that the Senator’s plea was successful.  Later, Iceman finds out that the rest of the X-Men escaped from Bastion as well.  Marrow asks Iceman why they didn’t kill him, and he responds that it would have made them like Bastion.

How It Was:  Up to this issue, I feel I’ve been pretty charitable with this story.  It was far from perfect, but it had some good character moments and it was Lobdell’s last story on X-Men.  Unfortunately this issue just goes too far off the beaten trail for me to enjoy it. 

First, Sabra is a huge letdown, in more ways than one.  She’s just used as a plot device to tell the characters where they need to go, and to conveniently get the heroes out of the ambush cliffhanger from last issue.  After explaining the aspects of her past that the audience already knew from past issues, she does absolutely nothing else in this issue.  I The threat to Timmy doesn’t feel very immediate, and the fact that we don’t really know the character at all lessens the stakes even more.

But the real disappointment is how the entire story ends; SHIELD shows up to arrest the bad guys, and you realize the heroes didn’t do anything to bring about the resolution.  Senator Kelly’s amazing speech (that we don’t get to see) was so riveting that it got one of the fastest proclamations out of the Senate ever.  Of course, the reason we don’t get to see the speech is because Iceman pretty much covers everything in his own long speech as he beats on Bastion.  This is the guy who violated the X-Men’s home, who captured the most powerful X-Men, and imprisoned/tortured their leader Professor X, and the X-Men don’t even get the satisfaction of defeating him themselves.  Instead some generic soldiers show up and announce the story is over.  It’s possibly the most disappointing story ending ever.

There’s still some nice character moments; Marrow’s fish-out-of-water routine is fun to watch as she tries to understand what Connecticut is and kills a Prime Sentinel with her bear hands.  But half way through, all three girls get pushed to the side with nothing else to contribute.  And the issue doesn’t even explain who or what Bastion is (this is actually revealed in two obscure 1998 annuals unconnected to the X-Men).  So no fulfillment and no answers; it just ends.  Iceman’s speech is really long and dense, but it is pretty true to the character.  It’s just weird how he has to give up at the end of the fight, leaving it unfinished.  The story tries to make it seem like Iceman might’ve swayed Bastion with his words, but nothing interesting is ever done with this idea.

I want to make it cleat that this is by no means the worst issue of X-Men ever.  It is probably the most disappointing though as far as wasted potential.   With this issue, Zero Tolerance goes from one of the X-Men’s greatest threats to a minor inconvenience with no consequences to the characters whatsoever, other than the discovery of a couple new X-Men to join the team.  It’s just a shame that they don’t do anything substantial at all.

D+

X-Men #68

X-Men #68
Writing: Scott Lobdell and Steve Seagle
Art: Pascual Ferry

What Went Down:  Two cops walk down to the basement of the police station, looking for the cause of the power outage.  Marrow attacks them both and knocks them out.  Upstairs, Charlotte Jones decides that she can’t leave her friends to die, even if it means risking her son’s life.  In the interrogation room, Iceman detects the Sentinels on the other side of the glass.  They attack, but Cecilia’s forcefield once again holds them off.  The human police officers barge in, weapons drawn, and the battle escalates.

At the White House, Senator Kelly is feeling guilty about paving the way for Operation Zero Tolerance.  He comes to the conclusion that genocide is not a solution after debating with Henry Peter Gyrich.  He decides that he needs to talk to the President to resolve this. 

In New York, the real police exchange gunfire with the Sentinels.  Iceman breaks a wall and provides an ice slide for escape, afterwards bringing the ceiling down on the robots.  Downstairs, Marrow prevents the prisoners from escaping by scaring them. 

Back upstairs, one Sentinel survives and shoots at Iceman.  Charlotte Jones jumps in between, severely wounding herself.  She explains that her son was kidnapped and asks them to rescue him.  At a dock in New York, Sabra prevents two criminals from stealing some cargo.

Marrow shows up to offer help and make fun of Cecilia’s problems.  The two women almost get into a fight, but Iceman intercedes.  After stabilizing Charlotte, they leave.  Walking down the street, the three mutants are ambushed by an army of soldiers and Prime Sentinels.  The issue closes on Charlotte’s son Timmy being watched by an old woman who tells the boy that his mother is undercover.

How It Was:  With this issue, the Operation Zero Tolerance plot starts to take some missteps.  The threats still haven’t gone beyond Sentinel ambushes for Cecilia to hold back (hell, it’s even the cliffhanger for the issue), and the renewed emphasis on Senator Kelly is not a good sign of where the story is going toward its resolution.  I can’t nail down what Gyrich’s purpose is in this story.  He seems firmly committed to the idea of mutants as a threat that need stopped by any means necessary, but he is sympathetic to the Senator for some unknown reason.  Plus, Gyrich was attacked by Sentinels in Uncanny #346, so he should probably feel a little more strongly about OZT.  It’s good that the story is drawing parallels between racial profiling, unsubstantiated fears, and the Nazis, but shouldn’t Senator Kelly have thought of all this beforehand?  On top of that, the entire purpose of Iceman’s team has suddenly switched from protecting mutants and stopping Bastion to saving the son of a third-tier character that hasn’t been seen in this book in years. 

What makes up for all this is the addition of Marrow to the team.  Now I’m the first to balk at the idea of a villain becoming a hero, and it’s obvious that the X-staff has changed her quite a bit in trying to pull this off (even going so far as to change her appearance to something more aesthetically pleasing).  She was a homicidal maniac willing to blow up a subway full of humans, so this new take on her is a bit of a stretch.  Still, she adds a lot of humor to this story and offers a new contrast for Cecilia.  The story up until now has focused on Cecilia’s problems, but compared to Marrow, Reyes has had it easy.  Marrow lived in a sewer, never saw the sun, and had to hunt and fight for survival.  And Cecilia might be able to see that if Marrow wasn’t so crass and confrontational.  Suffice to say, Marrow adds a new voice and a wholly unique perspective to the other two that adds to the story.

Whereas the characters are spot-on and compelling, the narration is a little overwrought.  There are sequences that are just too full of unnecessary information, like the description of the making of the two-way mirror in one scene, or the entire career history of the two cops in the opening three pages (surprisingly, they do appear in a later issue).  Also there are some sequences that just pull you right out of the story: a tattooed elderly gentleman worried about dying in the precinct and the friends talking outside about breaking into the police station serve no purpose.

But now I’m nitpicking.  I do like this issue for the humor, the animosity and tension between the characters, and at the time I was wondering how this was all going to end.  This is still one of the better portrayals of Iceman you’ll get for a long time, and both Marrow and Cecilia are shaping into interesting characters.

B

X-Men #67

X-Men #67
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Carlos Pacheco

What Went Down:  Our story now takes us to Israel, where Israeli super soldier Sabra is infiltrating…somewhere…to find information on Operation Zero Tolerance.  Some security guards find her just as she finishes the download, asking her to come with them.  Escorted into a car, the three agents Sabra meets turn out to be Prime Sentinels, and they demand she give up the information she just stole.  Sabra defeats them, and her thoughts explain that she is motivated by the loss of her son Jacob.

In Manhattan, Cecilia and Iceman have made their way to Archangel’s penthouse apartment.  Iceman tries to explain Archangel’s history, but Cecilia doesn’t really care, and both of them are anxious about running into disguised Prime Sentinels.  Marrow observes them as they walk by the sewer.  Inside the apartment, Iceman accidentally attacks Angie Quail, who says she is Candy Southern’s old roommate that is housesitting for Warren.

In New Mexico, Bastion continues to taunt Professor X.  Xavier comes to the conclusion that Bastion wants Xavier to be lying about his power loss because Bastion secretly wants to be stopped.  Bastion insists he is saving humanity.

In New York, Iceman tries to call the X-Men’s allies on a cellphone while Angie tries to get Cecilia to open up about the things that are bothering her.  Iceman’s powers konk out because Angie is actually a Prime Sentinel nullifying them.  Cecilia saves Iceman, and the Sentinel is defeated by a gunshot from behind, courtesy of Charlotte Jones—Archangel’s former girlfriend, a cop, and an X-Men ally.

Charlotte takes the two mutants to the police station for protection.  Cecilia doesn’t trust her, but Bobby insists that Charlotte is a friend.  In another room, we see Charlotte talking to the two bodyguards from Uncanny #346 (the one’s that are really Sentinels).  Operation Zero Tolerance has kidnapped Charlotte’s son, forcing Charlotte to lead her friends into a trap.  On the other side of the two-way mirror, we see that a number of the police officers are also Prime Sentinels.  Just as they are about to attack, the power goes out.  This is thanks to Marrow, who is trying to help our heroes.

How It Was:  More new players and more to like about already-established ones.  I’m still really digging Cecilia and Iceman’s relationship at this point.  While Cecilia still complains a lot, she is far more sympathetic here as it slowly becomes clearer and clearer that Iceman has absolutely no idea what he is doing.  And that’s a really fun direction to see this odd couple in.  Their banter back and forth tells the whole story; their frustration, fear, and growing admiration all come across really well. 

What I’m not too crazy about is the formulaic pattern this story is stuck in: Cecilia and Iceman go someplace to hide, Prime Sentinels ambush them, Cecilia holds them off with her forcefield, an outside force saves them, repeat.  It’s only issue two of this story, and this has already happened two or three times, and it’s not going to stop.  As for the attempt of a misdirect with Angie the housesitter, it probably would have worked better if we’d seen this character once or twice before.

I like the idea of a Mossad trained Israeli Captain America, so it’s too bad that Sabra is little more than a plot device in this story.  She does get a nice scene where she takes out some Sentinels though.  And then Charlotte Jones appears out of nowhere; last time I remember seeing her is the beginning of the Legacy Virus story around Uncanny #298.  The abduction of her son would probably mean a lot more if she appeared in this series with any regularity.  Still, it’s an interesting enough quandary to put our heroes in.  All in all it’s a decent issue.  If you’re not sick of Prime Sentinels yet, the desperation and tension from the protagonists is enough to keep the story captivating.

B

X-Men #66

X-Men #66
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Carlos Pacheco
 

What Went Down:  After a time-honored newsfeed/exposition dump recaps the premise of Operation Zero Tolerance, we see a celebration among the patients and co-workers of Dr. Cecilia Reyes in a hospital lobby.  A bleeding victim in need of immediate care interrupts the impromptu celebration.  The patient dies, despite Reyes’ best efforts, but as everyone is leaving the person gets up and transforms into a Prime Sentinel.  Having hidden the fact that she is a mutant from all of the hospital staff, Cecilia is less than thrilled.

The Sentinel tries to kill Cecilia, revealing that her mutant power is a forcefield that absorbs just about anything, but causes her physical pain as a result.  An orderly is revealed to be another Sentinel, who takes a hostage to convince the surgeon to turn off her mutant power; however, she has no control over it.

Fortunately for Cecilia and the hostage, Iceman shows up to save the day.  Instead of thanking him, Reyes attacks Iceman, blaming him for revealing her secret.  It seems that Charles Xavier had previously approached her about becoming an X-Man, but she declined.  Now she is convinced that the X-Men are somehow responsible for the Sentinels’ awareness of her.  Speaking of Sentinels, more attack, so Iceman encases the entire room in ice and shatters a hole through the floor to the sewers.  On the way down, he “drops” Cecilia in order to test her reflexes.  Down in the sewers, Dr. Reyes breaks down over the loss of her normal life.  Iceman gives her a pep talk, and convinces her to trust him…for now. 

In the OZT Hulkbuster base, Bastion continues to taunt Xavier over the acquisition of his belongings.  He thinks Xavier still has his telepathy, even though Xavier insists that he lost it during Onslaught.  To top it off, Bastion shows Xavier the captured X-Men from X-Men #65.

How It Was:  Well, it’s been a while since the last actual issue of OZT.  As a reluctant rereader of this series, I have to admit that this issue exceeded my expectations.  With all mutants under arrest, it’s only natural for the X-Men to intercede on behalf of oppressed mutants everywhere.  For some reason though this X-Men crossover story is organized so that there is only one X-Man, and he can only rescue one mutant out of what must be hundred or thousands. 

There’s no real reason why Cecilia should be the only one chosen for protection, but plot holes aside, her interactions with Iceman are fantastic.  Or more accurately I should say that this is the best Iceman we’ve seen in a while.  As Lobdell’s last arc, this is as good a place to go as any, since this is a natural conclusion for Iceman’s characterization to go.  And it’s nice to see that this is a challenge that he’s nowhere near prepared for.  Cecilia comes off as conceited and egotistical, but the script balances it by showing that Iceman is just as caught up in the role of his job—building on previous character points with his ex-girlfriend Opal.  And although Cecilia is abrasive, her situation comes off as rather unique.  Instead of just being a reluctant hero, she’s played as completely unwilling, making for an interesting counter to Bobby’s experience and optimism.  It’s an interesting direction that few writers have explored to this point.  After all, everyone would be honored to be an Avenger, but nobody wants to be an X-Man.  Some might be taken back by how much exposition is crammed in to explain all of Cecilia’s history and background, but I can respect wanting to get it all out of the way.

 I like that we’re finally seeing the repercussions of OZT, but I do wish that the story centered more on the fact that the government is unlawfully seizing citizens as opposed to making it solely about one doctor and how inconvenient this all is for her.  But with only four issues to work with, I can respect wanting to keep the scope small.  Pacheco’s art really helps out with the pacing; it makes what little action there is livelier, and his Iceman looks pretty cool.  As a franchise-wide crossover, this is probably a bit underwhelming, but as a spotlight for Iceman, it’s fantastic.  Putting him in a situation where he is outnumbered, and pairing him with a self-hating novice who doesn’t trust him, that’s just the stuff of drama.  Not the greatest thing ever, but enjoyable enough for a beginning.

B-

Uncanny X-Men #349

Uncanny X-Men #349

Writing: Scott Lobdell

Art: Chris Bachalo

What Went Down:  Maggott is up on top of the World Trade Center, reliving memories from people who have visited the monument.  Note that this is a power of Maggott’s that will never appear again.  Anyways, he finds the memory of Joseph kissing Rogue in the Christmas issue, and wonders why the moment was so significant for the girl. Out of nowhere we see the pink effect of Psylocke’s power.

Back in the underground Antarctic cave, Trish Tilby recaps the plot of the story up until now with internal monologue.  She finds that her boyfriend the Beast has been turned human by the technology in the cave.  Also, the attackers from last issue have vanished for no reason.

In the dungeon, Gambit sits brooding over his decision to sleep with Rogue.  He thinks that he doesn’t deserve happiness, and he’s also worried how she will feel when she finds out about his secret.  Rogue comes up to him hugging him and thanking him sincerely for the experience.  She tells him that she loves him; Gambit responds that she doesn’t even know him and runs off.

Below the WTC, despite seeing the effect of Psylocke’s powers, Maggott roams the street vendors unassaulted.  Then in the middle of a crowd, Psylocke just starts beating the heck out of Maggott.  When asked why, she just keeps repeating some vague nonsense about sensing a great darkness in him without any other justification.  Also it’s important to note that Psylocke has some new powers and personality quirks due to her exposure to the Crimson Dawn that were detailed in a mini-series with her and Archangel.  Maggott decides to fight back and turns blue while up in the sky Archangel watches the battle. 

Grovel tries to get Gambit to open up about his feelings.  Gambit wants to tell Rogue the truth about his past, but he is afraid of losing her.  On the other end of the cell, Spat tries to help Rogue remember what is bothering Gambit.  Joseph bursts through the door with a broken robot.  Gambit picks the locks on their chains, even though earlier he said he couldn’t, and the group begins their escape.

Back in New York, Maggott and Psylocke fight.  Psylocke uses her psychic blade on Maggott, but for some reason she can’t focus, and one of his slug’s tries to eat her.  Archangel swoops down in time to hit it away with a post.  Warren questions the wisdom of seeking out this threat when there are so many already, but Psylocke insists that there is “great darkness” in him. 

Nanny shows up to foil the escape plan at the South Pole, all while a mystery person watches on a monitor.  Nanny decides she is just going to kill everyone, but her head gets knocked off at the last second.  The Beast guessed that since Trish Tilby was human, Nanny wouldn’t recognize her as a threat, so he had Trish hit Nanny really hard with a crowbar.  The X-Men get their powers back, but Gambit decides to go with Spat and Grovel to accept the consequences for his mystery actions.  He still refuses to tell Rogue what is bothering him.

How It Was:  Well, I’ll be…finally some action in a super hero story.  Of course none of it occurs in the main ongoing plot thread involving the majority of the team.  Instead we get a fight with Maggott and Psylocke, which is probably a little hard to follow since the audience doesn’t know what Maggott’s powers are or why he is turning blue.  The fight itself is nicely done by Bachalo, but it’s a little anti-climactic to have Warren stop the slug with a post, especially after it ate an entire truck in a previous issue.  The main problem with this thread is that Psylocke comes off as a huge jerk jumping Maggott for no substantial reason.  She just keeps babbling about the darkness in him, but that describes like half the X-Men at any time.  Plus, like most 90’s X-Men threads, she completely forgets about it after this story concludes.

In fact the only thing that might be more anticlimactic would be to have Trish Tilby beat the villain in one hit after three issues of this storyline.  It’s not so much that I mind Trish delivering the final blow and showing that she can actually be useful.  It’s just that I’d like to see the heroes fight the army of cannon fodder robots for a couple of panels at least. 

Once again, the most interesting aspect of this story remains the complex and conflicting feelings Gambit continues to have over his past and his relationship with Rogue.  I like that Gambit and Rogue having sex makes Gambit feel more guilty, calling into question whether his motivations were to make Rogue feel better, or just to dodge her questions and make her feel more attached to him.  I still don’t like Spat and Grovel, but using them as sounding boards for the characters to express their feelings isn’t a terrible use for them.  Most important of all, after years and years of teasing, the X-staff is finally getting to Gambit’s big secret in the next issue.  Yes, most fans had already guessed the specifics at this point, but at least it was going to be over.  This story though was an unnecessary diversion from the final goal.  Yes the moments with Rogue and Gambit were important, but absolutely everything else in the last three issues can pretty much be forgotten.  Not Lobdell’s finest work, which is disappointing since this is his final story arc, but the Gambit/Rogue stuff was pretty well done, even if it could’ve all happened in one issue.

D

Uncanny X-Men #348

Uncanny X-Men #348

Writing: Scott Lobdell

Art: Joe Madureira 

What Went Down:  Joseph, Gambit, Rogue, and the bounty hunters Spat and Grovel start off preparing to battle Nanny and her army of robots and cyborg animals.  Joseph recognizes Nanny, leading to concerns from the X-Men that Magneto’s memories might be returning.  Instead of a battle, Nanny just turns on a power dampener and defeats all of them…after three pages of battle poses.  Trish Tilby observes the X-Men being captured and runs back to tell the Beast.

Elsewhere in space, Deathbird is talking to an injured Bishop.  She tells him that he has been severely wounded, the X-Men are all dead, and now they will rule the Shi’ar Empire together.  Back on Earth, we find out that the underground caves were below Antarctica, and Nanny has taken the heroes to one of Magneto’s old bases. Rogue isn’t feeling well, and she even takes on the personality of Sabretooth for a moment, yelling at Gambit for working with Essex.  When Rogue doesn’t remember any of this, Gambit tells her she didn’t say anything important.

In a separate room, Joseph is being served by Nanny, but he is still chained up.  The robot insists that he is Magneto, but will not free him.  However she does show him newsfeeds of the Operation Zero Tolerance invasion, as well as images of the other X-Men who were captured by the Sentinels.  When a picture of Moira MacTaggert appears, Joseph feels an unexplainable need for vengeance.

Next we get a page of Archangel and Psylocke returning to Warren’s apartment to find it trashed after events in X-Men #67, which I will get to later.  Psylocke disappears while Archangel looks at some bullet casings. 

In Antarctica, Beast takes a page to reflect on why he shouldn’t date because his lifestyle puts the ones he loves in danger.  He discovers restraints that Magneto trapped the X-Men in from way back in Uncanny #112-113, also Nanny’s first appearance.  It appears that people are sneaking up on Beast, but next issue this is completely forgotten, so just ignore it.

Gambit, Rogue, and the bounty hunters have been chained to stakes in a dungeon.  Gambit demands to know who and why Gambit is being hunted.  Spat responds that he knows why, and he wouldn’t believe who.  Gambit’s memories overtake Rogue; she is caught in a memory where Gambit saved a girl named Sarah, who later grew up to be Marrow.  Rogue forgets the memory as soon as it is over, and Gambit refuses to tell her what it was.  Instead he suggests that this might be their last night alive, and since their powers are negated, they can actually consummate their relationship.

How It Was:  Is it possible to have a story where too much is going on, but not a lot is actually happening?  That’s what this feels like.  There are lots of different scenes, but we don’t learn anything new from most of them.  Beast brooding about his relationship is nothing new, and the scene with Betsy and Warren doesn’t lead to anything until next issue.  There’s a pretty long scene with Nanny mentioning that Joseph might be Magneto (something we already know), and Joseph learning about Operation Zero Tolerance (something we already know).  Plus the sequence where Beast remembers the first Nanny story isn’t important to the plot at all.  Add the five-page non-fight at the beginning of the book, and the continued presence of Spat and Grovel (although Landscape has completely disappeared for no reason; he was so boring the story actually forgot about him), and this is a book that is doing a lot to make me dislike it.

What saves this book, and actually makes it a great deal better than last issue, is the Gambit/Rogue material.  Having Rogue’s memories of Gambit’s actions resurface and having her unable to remember them herself is a neat device, and Gambit’s reactions to them are well handled.  I also like that Gambit decides to ask Rogue to sleep with him, and even better, his motivations for doing this might be a little bit selfish.  Gambit’s guilt and his fear of being discovered are infinitely more compelling than anything else going on in this book at the moment.  Plus I like that it’s done with subtlety; the scene is more effective because we don’t get to see it.  Even with the Rogue/Gambit stuff, I can still only give this a mild recommendation.

C-

Uncanny X-Men #347

Uncanny X-Men #347

Writing: Scott Lobdell

Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down:  On a weird alien planet, Gambit gets a rude surprise by being whacked in the face with a giant lizard tail.  He is being attacked by Grovel—a giant shape-shifting lizard thing, and his partner Spat—a woman who is cursed to age in reverse after taking a mystic blast for Gambit.  Both of them are bounty hunters, and both have been assigned to bring Gambit in for his mysterious crimes that are yet to be revealed.  Gambit then helpfully recaps the previous events in this story because it’s been two friggin’ months since it progressed at all. 

In a weird sequence that looks like they’re coming through a portal, Beast and Trish Tilby crash land on the planet in a broken section of the ship.  They wonder where the X-Men are, but are interrupted by Beast feeling sick and slumping over.

In the sewers of Manhattan, Marrow is trying not to cry while she sits with the injured Calisto, who is bandaged with leaves for some odd reason.  Calisto tells Sarah that she needs more in her life than rage, and asks her to remember when she was younger and had hope; she recalls seeing Angel stuck to a wall during the Morlock Massacre.  Calisto asks Marrow to help the X-Men because they will be needed to save all mutants.  Marrow agrees, but she can’t promise she won’t kill anyone.

Back on the alien planet, Joseph and Rogue wake up next to each other.  Rogue tries to fly up in the air, but hits something solid and assumes it is a forcefield.  Joseph uses his powers and reveals that the alien world is an illusion and that they are really inside a cave.  Joseph discovers the cause of these illusions—a mutant named Landscape with the power to make people see landscapes…no really.

Gambit laughs at his captors and asks if the world was Landscape’s work.  Gambit tries to charm Spat, but she has been previously hurt by him, and brings up that Gambit’s mistakes have cost others their lives.

In South Carolina, at the town where Rogue met Joseph, the mutant named Maggott is continuing his search for Joseph.  Some rednecks confront him because they don’t appreciate strangers asking about mutants.  Maggott’s pet slugs eat one of the bully’s trucks, and this scares them all away.

At the cave, Rogue is carrying Landscape, and he won’t stop whining.  They run into Gambit and his captors.  Just as Gambit frees himself, the heroes are confronted by Nanny—the former robot servant of Magneto, and an army of cybernetically augmented animals—including bats, gorillas, and what looks like maybe an octopus?

How It Was:  Well after two months away, we return to the X-Men lost in space.  This story is obviously setting up the X-Men learning about Gambit’s mystery relationship with Mr. Sinister which has been hinted at for about two or three years now.  That’s a perfectly acceptable direction to go.  Unfortunately we can’t get to that right away.  Instead we have to deal with a bunch of boring, and frankly out of place, characters from Gambit’s history, as well as the “exciting” return of Nanny.  Plus the X-Men are separated, so we know it’s going to be a couple of issues before they can reunite and further the plot some more. 

I can’t say enough how uninterested I am in Spat, Grovel, and Landscape.  It seems like a major misstep to take a story that is supposed to emphasize Gambit’s tragic and very serious past, and create these absurd, cartoony characters to put in this story leading up to it.  I have no idea what a little girl with a spear and a weird lizard thing are doing in this story.  And while we’re on it, Grovel looks nothing like the reflection of the zebra thing that Madureira drew in the water last issue.  It’s obvious that this story has been thrown together rather quickly.

That’s about it.  There’s no real characterization other than for Gambit, which is kind of interesting.  I like how he goes back and forth between crippling guilt and wanting to forgive himself, between putting his past behind him and facing consequences for his actions.  It’s a really good arc for a tortured character like Gambit, but of course this is also less effective since most of this soul searching is taking place with Spat and Grovel in the background.  Maggott’s also still wandering around, which would be interesting if it went anywhere, but it doesn’t; Maggott doesn’t really get interesting until Joe Kelly starts to write him, so right now he’s still just a generic mystery figure.  Outside of that, nothing’s really going on, and the two-issue wait definitely hasn’t helped the pace.  Even the illusion of the world they’re on, which the narration describes as very alien, looks like a normal jungle that might be the setting for any super hero story.  I am quite ready for these X-Men to get out of those costumes and back to some actual X-Men stories.

D+