Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Uncanny X-Men #285

Uncanny X-Men #285
Writing: Whilce Portacio, Jim Lee, and John Byrne
Art: Whilce Portacio, Art Thibert, and Al Milgrom

Note: The price goes up twenty-five cents this issue. Stupid inflation.

What Went Down: Colossus, Jean Grey, and the rebel leader Primate fall out of the other side of the portal into some fantasy world. They notice that the rest of the X-Men are nowhere to be seen, and then they are attacked by a group of rebels who think that they killed the Primate. Jean and Colossus are both defeated, but the rebels surrender when they see Peter unarmored and mistake him for some kind of savior.

Meanwhile, Storm is dying in a desert. This is odd because normally the weather doesn’t affect her, but since she is in a different dimension she gets to feel the full effect. A stranger rescues her and takes her back to his house. He feeds Storm and asks how she found herself in a desert alone. When she brings up the portal, the stranger freaks out

Archangel stumbles upon a group of rebels fighting against the forces of the established government, which we later learn is called the Triumvirate. In a daze, Warren kills all of the rebels, and when he wakes up he is proclaimed a hero even though he has no idea what happened. This is an ongoing subplot from X-Factor where Archangel’s wings would control him and cause him to slip into rages because they were created by Apocalypse.

And finally we find Iceman and Sunfire in a bar after having fallen through a hole in the roof. When the bartender and his patrons show justifiable anger at having their property vandalized, the two mutants beat them all up and leave.

Back in the desert, Storm and the stranger are getting ready to ride giant lizards to the location of the portal, so they can stop it from destroying both worlds. Storm is pretty sure the X-Men will fix the problem, as should be the reader by this point.

Colossus and Jean are being lead back to the rebels’ base and trying to fit in with the group as best they can.

Iceman and Sunfire walk away from the bar, which is completely destroyed in background. Sunfire takes the time to backhandedly apologize to Iceman for attacking the X-Men during his first appearance. Since it happened almost thirty years (in real time) before this issue, Iceman isn’t too concerned. The pair hear about a steel warrior and go off to find their teammate.

Archangel meets the leader, known as the Avatar, of the Triumvirate; her name is Sha-Har-A-Zath, and she makes Warren a Lord Protector in her army.

Back at the rebel base, Jean and Primate are discussing the prophecy that Colossus is meant to fulfill. Jean finds him in a room with a harem of women, at which point he starts acting embarrassed and bashful. Storm and the stranger show up at the exact same time, and the stranger reveals himself as Mikhail Rasputin, Peter’s brother who was supposed to have died.

Back in the real world, the police are investigating the bodies of more mutants that Bishop and his team have killed. Witnesses have mistaken the XSE officers for the X-Men because of the black Xs on their uniforms, and Trish Tilby is doing a report on possible mutant gang warfare. Bishop again ends an issue with a vow—this time that his past will never come to be.

How It Was: On the plus side, all of the X-Men get their own individual plot lines in this story, so some of the characters finally get some room to breathe and let their personalities show a little. Archangel’s subplot is at the same time the best and the worst. On the one hand it deals with the internal darkness he’s been struggling against since his transformation, and the fact that he might be finally losing control is rather intriguing indeed. On the other hand, his plot deals with the monarchy of this dimension, and I get bored just writing Sha-Har-A-Zath and Posse Comitatus, let alone reading about them.

As for the other character beats, they’re okay. Storm’s plot at least has the mysterious stranger’s identity to keep readers invested, although the reveal that he is Colossus’s brother makes for a hell of a coincidence. Colossus and Jean’s arc has the mystery of the prophecy, but it’s never really resolved completely and comes off a little contrived in the end. Iceman and Sunfire’s journey is completely unnecessary, and the question of why Sunfire is even in this story is still a very pertinent one.

Above all else, the world is just really boring and not fleshed out at all. The only things the reader really learns about the culture are that there is a monarchy, some of the people don’t want a monarchy, and the people say “by the mother and son” a lot. It’s about as interesting as it sounds.

The Bishop plot continues and it seems like there may be serious ramifications for the rest of the X-Men. There aren’t, and the fact that a bunch of civilians think they saw the X-Men gun down other mutants in the middle of a club gets quietly forgotten. Oh well.

C-

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