Uncanny X-Men Annual #16
Writing: Fabian Nicieza, Chris Cooper, and Skip Dietz
Art: Jae Lee and Herb Trimpe
What Went Down: We are introduced to the Death Sponsors in their one and only appearance, as far as I know. They are a group fighting for a pirate channel that is seeking to usurp viewers from Mojo’s channel, thus placing them in charge because in that world whoever has the highest ratings controls the world. The team consists of Sweepzweak, Deadair, Lead-In, Cancellator, and Timeslot. Are you laughing yet? Their shadowy boss is Mojo II, and he sends them to Earth to complete one of three tasks in order to gain higher ratings; either find Spiral, Arize, or Longshot. Since Arize is the focus of the crossover, he is their target for this issue.
Cut to the mansion where—surprise, surprise—the Gold Team is in the Danger Room running a simulation; this one involves rescuing innocents from a burning building. Can you tell Nicieza was having trouble filling up pages? At any rate, Colossus is stuck holding up the building while Storm, Iceman, and Archangel are looking for people. This leaves new recruit Bishop to be blindsided by Apocalypse. Rather than allow Colossus to decide between saving him and holding up the building, Bishop brandishes a gun and threatens to kill himself rather than be used as a bargaining chip. Professor X ends the session, and everyone comments on how unpredictable Bishop is.
Meanwhile Jean is sifting through Arize’s memories, trying to help him remember who he is. Essentially he is responsible for creating any humanoids that are in Mojoworld, and he feels bad that they are all slaves. He also created Longshot, and gave him self-determination. Arize worries that he is responsible for many deaths even though he can’t remember how; the Professor and Jean console him.
For some reason, the Death Sponsors appear in Japan. Shortly after that, they detect Arize and teleport to the mansion. What’s the point? Why to fill up three pages.
Back at the mansion, Bishop questions the Professor about why they are bothering with Arize. The answer is basically: because that’s what heroes do, although Jean makes a weak attempt to frame Arize as a mutant in his world because he is different and an outcast. The alarm goes off and the Gold Team fights the Death Sponsors. The X-Men hold their own until one of the Sponsors activates a power disruptor that turns off all of their powers. Bishop draws his rifle while one of the Death Sponsor’s restores Arize’s memory. As they teleport away with Arize, Bishop shoots the teleporter, which causes them to teleport without Arize because they are all mind linked, for some reason. Bishop even throws in a groan inducing “Hasta la vista, baby.”
After regaining his memory, Arize decides to leave the X-Men to try to help save his world from Mojo. The rest of the Gold Team comment on Bishop and his unpredictability again; they wonder whether or not they can trust him.
What Else Went Down: Archangel is fighting Mandroids at a laboratory of some kind. While rescuing a scientist, he gets shot. As he lays dying, a blue woman named Amalgam appears and talks about how this is the second time she has met Warren.
A flashback occurs to the Morlock tunnels during the Morlock Massacre, after Angel was stabbed in the wings. She offers Warren the chance to give her his powers and memories so that his death will not be in vain. Then she turns into Cyclops and Beast to try to convince him. Warren finally agrees, but as she absorbs his powers, she uses Destiny’s powers to see that he is needed in the future.
Warren then wakes up as Archangel in the present in the infirmary of the mansion. All of the X-Men comment on how happy they are that he survived.
What Else Went Down: Bishop is outside brooding, and Storm decides to make an attempt to get him to open up. Basically Bishop is homesick and feels guilty about letting his companions Malcolm and Randall die. He also brings up a tree that survived in his time as the only remaining marker of the school. The original class of X-Men allegedly planted it, but in the present it doesn’t exist. Storm leaves Bishop to his brooding, and he falls asleep outside. When he wakes up, it is raining and Storm has planted a tree in the spot, giving Bishop hope for the future.
How It Was: A minor, oh so minor improvement over the first part of Shattershot. On the one hand, the Death Sponsors are a lot cooler looking and more imposing than Mojo’s assorted henchmen from the first part. But unfortunately they are stuck with the gimmicky names and barely half a personality to share between the entire group. But the fight is far more entertaining then the previous one, and Nicieza manages to get some tension going towards the end, although he has to have a contrived power neutralizer to get the rest of the team out of the way. And Bishop gets a legitimately cool and redeeming moment, and then ruins it by quoting the Terminator.
But the same problems also crop up in this issue. Once again Nicieza starts with an unnecessary Danger Room sequence for lack of a better idea. Once again there are scenes with the villains that add nothing to the story, such as having them appear in Japan, realize they are in the wrong spot, and leave Japan. And there is Arize, whose origin is given a little more detail, but most of it was easily pieced together from the hints last issue. Plus, if you’ll remember my X-Cutioner’s Song reviews, Jae Lee’s art continues to not impress me. Although I will go as far as to say that the Death Sponsors' designs really benefit from his style, and the fight scenes and dream scenes he draws are pretty dynamic. However, the scenes where everybody is talking just look odd when matched up with the art. Probably the best chapter of Shattershot, but that isn’t saying a lot.
As for the back up stories, neither one really affects the overall narrative of the X-Men or makes a huge impression. The Archangel/Amalgam story is just weird and feels like a part of a bigger story that never got started. Also, if her thing is to take dead people’s powers and memories, why does she use Cyclops and Beast as examples? If she can travel throughout time, why doesn’t she go to Warren’s actual final death? It just doesn’t feel like it was that thought out. As for the Bishop story, it’s kind of mushy and doesn’t really matter at all. Both back up stories are pretty bad for this chapter.
C
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Uncanny X-Men Annual #16
Labels:
Annual,
Archangel,
Arize,
Bishop,
comic book review,
Death Sponsors,
Fabian Nicieza,
gold team,
Jae Lee,
Mojo,
Shattershot,
Uncanny X-Men,
X-Men reviews
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