X-Men #17

X-Men #17
Writing: Fabian Nicieza
Art: Andy Kubert

What Went Down: Our story opens on a shady government mole observing the Rasputin family on the Ust-Ordynski Collective. The youngest Rasputin, Illyana, is excited that her brother is coming for a visit.

In another Russian town, Neftelensk, Winter Guard members Darkstar and Alexi Garnoff are investigating why the entire town appears to be in a catatonic state. Darkstar’s father, the super villain the Presence, appears to her, but it is only an illusion meant to attack her mind. Garnoff is similarly attacked, and it is implied that he is reliving some abuse that his own father brought upon him.

Over in Moscow, obscure supporting character Alexi Vazhin (think the Russian Nick Fury) is debriefing two members of the Russian military over the catatonic people epidemic. Vazhin mentions that Omega Red will become available to assist in the situation.

Three days later, most of the X-Men’s Blue Team, plus Iceman and Colossus, are on their way to visit the Rasputins after picking up Wolverine over in his series. Psylocke is still coming on way too strong to Cyclops while Colossus is pondering what he is going to tell his parents about his brother Mikhail, who recently committed suicide and took all of the Morlocks with him. The reunion is suitably touching, and the government agent observing them is revealed to be known as a Flagwatch.

Back in the U.S., Rogue is still dealing with her blindness, and Gambit is trying to get her over it by almost letting her fall into the pool. Xavier observes them and wishes that Gambit would just get over himself and commit to her.

Beast asks if Xavier has a second to talk, but they get interrupted by Storm and X-Force. This subplot drags on for a couple of issues and basically turns out to be the Beast feeling old and having something of a mid-life crisis. Cannonball and Warpath want permission to go and tell the other old New Mutants and Firestar about the death of the Hellions. This leads to New Warriors #31, before X-Force finally leaves the mansion in X-Force #19.

A brief two page subplot introduces a purple clad woman beating up some gangsters in Tokyo. After beating them all up, she unmasks and states that she is ready for revenge on the X-Men. This purple haired woman later turns out to be Revanche, the woman in Psylocke’s old body.

Back in Russia, Colossus is chopping wood, Wolverine is smoking a cigar, and Cyclops is walking in on Psylocke in the shower after having a nightmare about Cable and Stryfe. In the kitchen, Iceman and Jubilee discuss how Illyana used to be a teenager and the hero Magik—a plot point that proves crucial to understanding this story. In the Moscow office, Vazhin is trying to convince his superior that Illyana is not necessary to stop the looming threat. Alexei plans on using the X-Men instead.

How It Was: This is an odd storyline that introduces a one-off villain who we will never see again. The truly perplexing detail is that this story takes place in X-Men even though it focuses on a character that regularly stars in Uncanny X-Men. And no, there is no explanation as to why Peter goes with the Blue Team instead of his regular team. At the same time, it is nice to see that the fallout from Mikhail’s death isn’t being brushed to the side as just a phone call. Unfortunately the rest of the issue is more of the same thing that has been going on for months. Psylocke is still being inappropriate towards Cyclops, Cyclops is still a stammering idiot around her, and Rogue and Gambit are still getting closer…but not too close. Nothing terrible, it’s just nothing to write home about. The Revanche subplot does offer a little bit of action, although that whole subplot does not turn out well in the end.

On the art side of things, Andy Kubert is doing some great character models. However, he is still a little over indulgent with depicting dust and smoke. The panel where X-Force walks into Xavier’s office looks like they are walking inside from a Western. And the final page has the general’s cigar filling half the room with smoke to the point that we can only see the top half of Vazhin. Other than that, the art is really awesome.

C-

X-Men Annual #1

X-Men Annual # 1
Writer: Fabian Nicieza and Dan Slott
Art: Way Too Many to List and Karl Altstaetter

Sorry it has been so long, real life and all that. Let's try this again. It’s a retroactive review since I didn’t have these issues at the time. I’ll be putting them in the appropriate order later down the line. The Shattershot story takes place before Uncanny #289 because Forge is still around, but after X-Men #9 because Bishop is around and an established member of the team. Also, each issue is 64 pages long, so these are gonna be some loooong posts.

What Went Down: This story takes place before the Mojo story in X-Men #10-11.
The story starts off in Mojoworld where a rebellion of bipeds has formed to fight Mojo’s tyranny. Most of them get slaughtered and the rebel leader Quark, a goat man with an eye patch…seriously, gets captured for brainwashing. Also getting captured is Arize, the star of this crossover, but he manages to teleport to earth. Mojo mentions that without the time dancer Spiral, Arize will surely be driven insane.

In the Danger Room, Psylocke and Beast are competing with Gambit and Rogue to reach a button. Psylocke wins, and is rewarded by having Wolverine try to gut her. Cyclops explains that the mission isn’t over until everyone gets home. Fortunately Professor X interrupts the rest of his lecture.

Forge and the Professor explain that Cerebro has picked up a non-human signature in Afghanistan. So the blue team goes off to investigate.

Mojo and his lackey Major Domo discuss plans to retrieve Arize. After once again establishing that Spiral is necessary to teleport people between dimensions, Mojo decides to televise the hunt, as if the reader couldn’t have called that twist from a million miles away.

As the X-Men approach the Afghani camp, they are attacked by the militants there. Because this is the 90’s, and pre-9/11, the X-Men actually take a sympathetic stance towards the rebels; if you know your world history of the time, Afghanistan had helped fight the Soviets and were actually able to keep a Soviet dictatorship out of their country, due to the U.S. backing them with weapons and supplies, but afterwards it left a power vacuum where the rightful government and infrastructure of the country should be. Regardless, the X-Men beat up the soldiers until Beast explains their true purpose to the leader of the camp; apparently the Beast speaks fluent Pushti.

Arize is discovered under the care of the Afghani people with no memory of who he is or where he came from. At the same time, Mojo’s soldiers arrive on Earth, notably without Spiral. Semi-important characters include the brainwashed Quark, who we met at the beginning of the issue, and the father/son team of Gog and Magog, who believe it or not do appear in later X-Men stories. Psylocke scans Arize’s mind and discovers some vague hints about the rebellion and a fallen messiah who is not named, but is obviously Longshot. Suddenly she senses another presence, which happens to be the bad guys.

The X-Men fight off the bad guys. During the battle, the bad guys express the fact that they have no choice but to obey Mojo, otherwise their lives and families would be forfeit; the X-Men are completely unsympathetic and explain that everybody has free choice. The bad guys mention Longshot before escaping through a portal—please note that once again, they are without Spiral. Cyclops prevents Wolverine and Rogue from following, even though Longshot was their friend and teammate back in the late 80s.

Back in Mojoworld, we learn that the ratings for the battle with the X-Men were huge, but they were detrimental to Mojo because they made him appear incompetent. A mysterious individual oversees Mojo on a monitor. This shadowed character turns out to be Mojo II from X-Men #10-11.

What Else Went Down: In the back up story, Jubilee decides to prove herself by programming all of the X-Men’s greatest enemies into the Danger Room. Wolverine stops her, and then as a quick educational experience, goes through the top ten X-Men villains. In order from ten to one they are: Mojo, the Reavers, Sentinels, the Brood, the Upstarts, Omega Red, Apocalypse, Mr. Sinister, Magneto, and the number one enemy is…hatred and intolerance. Nitpicks of note: Wolverine is wearing his brown costume even though this story has to take place after the introduction of Omega Red, where he started wearing his yellow outfit again. Also, most of the Upstarts are completely wrong except for Fitzroy and Cortez, but Cortez is supposed to be a secret at this point.

How It Was: Shattershot is a pretty weak story all together. It deals a lot with Mojoworld, which has never been too central to the X-Men, and it deals with a lot of really awful villains, except for Spiral. While there are some attempts to expand on the origin of Longshot, you can pretty much guess that Arize is his creator from the start.

This issue starts the mediocrity off. A lot of space is padded with exposition, such as the discussion about the necessity of having Spiral, even though she never shows up in this issue. And the Danger Room sequence at the beginning could also be labeled as completely unnecessary. Plus Arize isn’t really interesting at all; he’s mainly a plot device to be passed from X-team to X-team to continue the story. His arc consists of going from amnesiac to guilt ridden, tortured genius to crusader working towards redemption. It’s not bad; it’s just that none of it is particularly compelling or stands out in any way; the bad guys in this issue don’t help as you’re never convinced that they have a chance of defeating the X-Men.

I will admit that considering the number of artists on this issue (seven pencilers and six inkers) it doesn’t really look too bad. Also, there is a really funny speech from Beast when he tries to describe the differences between all of the X-groups. But all told this issue, and the story in general, is for completists only, and you can easily ignore it and not miss out on too much, unless you’re a huge Longshot or Mojo fan for some reason.

As for the back up strip, it isn’t anything to write home about. It is early Dan Slott, who recently finished up a really great arc on Mighty Avengers, so there is that. But outside of that, it isn’t even really a story, and the ending is so cheesy your eyes just might roll so hard as to get stuck.

D+

X-Men #13

X-Men #13
Writing: Fabian Nicieza
Art: Art Thibert

What Went Down: Yes, once again there is an allusion on the cover to Ryking’s name being Hazard, and once again nobody calls him that.

Ryking shares a bunch of childhood memories with Charles and then rants a lot. He alludes that the murder of Charles’ father at the hands of Kurt Marko might have gone farther, but nothing ever comes of this. He shows the professor a bunch of file cabinets and papers, and then he reveals a secret staircase that leads to an underground section of the plant, even though the stairs are drawn going up, not down.

The X-Men arrive and split up. Rogue tries to get Wolverine to open up about his past, but he isn’t having it. Also, Cyclops is wearing a telephone operator’s headset for some reason. Wolverine and Rogue find the stairway leading underground; they say they’re going “down there” except once again the staircase is still drawn to go up.

When Cyclops’ team gets to the bottom floor, they find Rogue and Wolverine already captured by Carter.

Back at the mansion, Cannonball calls for some reason. Jubilee asks if he wants to leave a message, but he doesn’t. This might have something to do with Cable missing before the X-Cutioner’s Song story that goes on in next issue, but I have no idea.

In Istanbul, former X-Factor sidekicks and New Mutants Rusty and Skids are working for the villain Stryfe because they’ve been brainwashed. They offer Stryfe a tapestry that depicts Apocalypse, since both villains play an important part in the crossover.

The X-Men fight Ryking until Cyclops blasts the taser mechanisms on his armor. Apparently Carter needed those to channel his power, so he explodes. Xavier uses his powers to save Carter somehow, and despite the entire factory being leveled, not to mention that the X-Men were on the underground floor, they crawl out of the rubble with no serious injuries.

Wolverine threatens Carter because he wants the villain to talk, but Xavier explains that Carter didn’t really know anything. As the X-Men walk away, a sheet with the words Shiva Scenario, as well as Brian Xavier, Kurt Marko, and Alexander Ryking’s names on it blows past.

How It Was: What a freaking tease! In case you missed my comments on last issue, this ends the saga of Almagordo/Xavier’s father for a very long time. Mike Carey picks up the plot thread in X-Men Legacy #213 in 2008, when this issue was written in 1992! You do the math. So not only does Carter waste Xavier’s time by not revealing any actual information, he wastes our time as well.

It’s an okay fight scene and the art is pretty good, but there are some really sloppy mistakes. Please see the aforementioned underground stairway that always leads up for some reason. Also, Beast’s proportions switch around an awful lot, even from panel to panel on the same page, and for some reason Rogue’s arm isn’t colored on one page. All that being said, it’s still a pretty good effort considering this was probably a rush job. After all, Jim Lee and Whilce Portacio were basically running the X-Men, and when they left for Image, Marvel probably had a cow trying to replace them.

Once again, it’s a pretty mediocre issue that probably would have been better if the plot had gone somewhere. The fact that Carter convinces the audience that he has important secrets and then delivers jack just really grinds my gears.

D

X-Men #12

X-Men #12
Writing: Fabian Nicieza
Art: Art Thibert

What Went Down: This issue opens at the Ryking Hospital…please note that Ryking was the name of the guy Maverick killed in the back up story to issues 9-10. Inside the doctors are trying to subdue a mutant patient named Ryking…please note that Ryking was the name of the guy Maverick killed in the back up story to issues 9-10. This Ryking, however, is the son of the man from that story. Anyway, the doctors shoot him full of drugs and tasers to stop him from seizing and shooting energy everywhere. The episode was caused by a story on CNN about his father being killed.

Over at the mansion, Rogue is having a swim, and Gambit is flirting with her…what a twist. Also the Beast is driving Psylocke to the airport so she can guest star in Excalibur next month with her brother Captain Britain. Cyclops watches Psylocke leave through a window, and then he melodramatically flings a picture of his girlfriend Jean on the ground because he is so tortured over his attraction to Betsy.

Then Scott joins the Professor in the Danger Room where he is busy training Jubilee. Jubilee dislikes the Danger Room because she doesn’t want to be hurt, and she hates fighting ugly villains like the Blob and Sauron.

Wolverine interrupts the session, accusing Xavier of lying to him. Apparently Wolverine believes that Xavier’s investigation into his father’s past somehow connects to his own past, although it is quite unclear how. Later Wolverine realizes that there is no connection and apologizes.

Back at the hospital, Carter Ryking escapes and kills a lot of people; his power involves shooting energy through the taser lines that have somehow fused to his body or something.

Xavier and Logan discuss the file on Xavier’s father; Charles has no idea where it came from, and then coincidentally the CNN story on Ryking’s death appears. Charles and Carter were childhood friends and their fathers worked together.

Charles attends the funeral, and he is reminded of his own father’s funeral when he was younger. In the middle of his flashback, Carter contacts the Professor telepathically, and then he attacks the funeral and kills some cops. Also he found some battle armor somewhere. Carter is convinced that their parents had lots of secrets, and he wants Charles to come with him to find out what they were. Charles agrees in order to prevent more deaths.

Val Cooper calls the X-Men to brief them on what happened. She offers to have X-Factor take care of it, but the X-Men want first crack at Carter…because it’s personal. They find out that they are going to the Almagordo Nuclear Plant—the place where Xavier’s father worked.

How It Was: The dawn of new villain Hazard, except nobody calls him Hazard except on the cover and on his trading card. So really it’s just plain Carter Ryking. He’s only remotely interesting because he says he has secrets about Xavier’s father, but as we’ll learn next issue, he doesn’t really. The creators probably had grand plans for the character that never came to fruition. This means that Carter is basically a one-shot villain who acts vaguely crazy and disturbed, and then disappears.

As for Almagordo, it became one of those pieces of X-Men canon that the writers would allude to over the years, get your hopes up that they were actually going somewhere, and then be promptly forgotten again. Mike Carey finally revealed that the factory was a front for Mr. Sinister’s research into prolonging his life in X-Men Legacy—over fifteen years after the plot line was first introduced! And we still never get an answer to why Maverick had to kill Carter’s father, or what Warhawk had to do with any of this.

Well the villain is a dud, so everyone else has to pick up the slack, but nobody is doing anything new or interesting. Cyclops’ is worried about Psylocke. Gambit is flirting with Rogue. Wolverine is bitching about his past. We’ve seen it all before, so there is nothing to get excited about. There are some okay scenes where Xavier reflects on his paralysis and his childhood, but it’s nothing groundbreaking.

Also, this is Fabian Nicieza’s first issue writing after Jim Lee jumped ship to go co-found Image Comics. So a lot of the repetition might just be Nicieza underlining the subplots he wants to focus on. Art Thibert is filling in on art; eventually regular artist Andy Kubert’ll replace him. He does some great work with the scenes outside the mansion as well as the scenes where Ryking kills people; who can resist a good flaming skeleton scene?

It’s a really slow issue that had potential, but fails to live up to it. If the Xavier stuff had panned out, this comic wouldn’t be such a disappointment.

C

X-Men #11

X-Men #11
Writing: Jim Lee and Scott Lobdell
Art: Jim Lee and Mark Texeira

What Went Down: It turns out Dazzler did survive the fight from last issue…surprise. This issue opens with her discussing the plot with the leader of the resistance, Mojo II—the Sequel. Get it, it’s a media joke. His story is that he is a clone of Mojo with one flaw—he has a spine. After summarizing the events of last issue and dropping a few movie related jokes, the scene switches to half of the X-Men Blue Team fighting the other half (because they’re brainwashed).

Back at his evil lair, Mojo is gloating at the captive Professor X; apparently Mojo forgot that the Professor is a mutant because he does nothing while Xavier uses his powers to free the X-Men.

While everyone is watching the X-Men, Mojo II and Dazzler attempt to sneak into Mojo’s base, but they are ambushed. Jubilee snaps Wolverine out of his trance by making him mad, and he is able to weaken the wall made out of Mojonium.

Everyone bursts in at once and a fight ensues with Mojo; he holds his own and manages to kill a large group of rebels with an energy blast. Then Longshot takes a sword (which he got…somewhere?) and stabs the bad guy with it, theoretically killing him. Of course, he comes back later with no explanation of how he survived, but there you go.

Dazzler and Longshot give control of Mojoworld over to Mojo II, warning him that if he turns out to be evil, they will stop him. Some of the X-Men mutter that they don’t trust him, but nothing else ever happens with him that I know of, and Mojo eventually just reclaims the throne.

Professor X reveals that Dazzler is pregnant, and Longshot makes a joke about naming the kid Shatterstar; for a while fans were convinced that Shatterstar must be their child, but a different origin was later created for the character.

Bonus—What Else Went Down: Maverick shoots a lot of bullets at Warhawk; the problem is that Warhawk has omnium skin, which is yet another indestructible metal in the Marvel Universe. Also, Maverick mentions that he misses his mutant power and brings up a woman named Isabel…important clues to his backstory at this point in his career.

Dr. Ryking explains that he is responsible for Warhawk’s powers. Maverick shoots Warhawk with what appears to be a bolt gun. The bolts penetrate the villain’s skin, and he explodes, killing Ryking in the process. Maverick walks away and thinks about how he hates his job and himself.

How It Was: There is still some media related humor to be had in this issue, but basically it’s just a big fight issue. It’s unfortunate because the story completely gives up on the somewhat clever Wizard of Oz parody and dissolves into a pointless hero vs. hero fight. Yes the title of the issue shows that the creators are making fun of this fact, but it still means a fight where you know exactly what to expect.

Also, this is an issue full of false starts and forgotten plot lines. Mojo II—forgotten and replaced by Mojo later. Longshot and Dazzler’s kid—drags on forever and ends up miscarried so the creators don’t have to mess with it. Mojo’s death—doesn’t stick, obviously. And I would still like to know where Longshot got that sword. Also, where the heck is Spiral? Wasn’t she in X-Men #5 building up to this story?

Looking at the back up strip: it’s complete crap. Maverick shoots Warhawk with a gun. It doesn’t work. Warhawk knocks Maverick away. Maverick shoots Warhawk with a different gun. Warhawk blows up. The end. The plot doesn’t even make sense on that simple level, but at least they got a proper inker for this issue. And the ending tries to make Maverick seem deep by having him act remorseful at the end, but that doesn’t work because in the beginning he was cracking jokes as he was killing people with a grenade and shooting at Warhawk.

Absolutely average, but a couple of the jokes (especially the Beast’s poetry quote at the end) saves it a little.

B-

X-Men #10

X-Men #10
Writing: Jim Lee and Scott Lobdell
Art: Jim Lee and Mark Texiera

What Went Down: Longshot awakens to find himself in a falling house. After it crashes, he walks outside to discover that he’s crushed a person and cannot remember who he is.

Cyclops, Rogue, Wolverine, and Beast emerge from some wreckage; it is at this point we learn that the X-Men are trapped in a parody of the Wizard of Oz. Cyclops=Scarecrow, except he has no confidence instead, Rogue=Tin Man, except she literally can’t feel because her hands are covered, and Wolverine=Lion, as in a total coward. Add in the Beast, who can only talk like Scooby Doo, as a fill in for Toto, and you just know this is going to be a wild ride.

Anyways, after meeting the X-Men, Longshot conveniently remembers everything. He tries to explain the situation to the X-Men, but they don’t get it, so they all decide to go off to see the Wizard.

Meanwhile, Mojo and more captive X-Men are watching the proceedings from his base. In case you don’t know, Mojo is a villain who lives in a dimension run by television where whoever has the best ratings is superior. The working class rebels are trying to end Mojo’s tyranny since they are forced to perform on these “shows” and most of them are quite dangerous. He reveals that his plan is to make the X-Men fight each other; everyone responds with self-aware jokes about how that always happens anyway.

The rest of the issue is made up of a flashback that reveals how the X-Men arrived in this predicament. Dazzler and one of Mojo’s spies go to the mansion to enlist the X-Men in helping to overthrow Mojo. The spy teleports the blue team to Mojoworld, weakening them in the process. Mojo’s forces, including a brainwashed Longshot, are able to completely subdue the Blue Team, and Dazzler seemingly gets killed and falls in the water.

After the flashback, we see that the remaining X-Men, plus Lila Cheney, are dressed as flying monkeys and attacking Longshot’s group. And finally, a mysterious character discovers Dazzler in a gutter and rescues her.

Bonus—What Else Went Down: This issue and the next include a seven page back up story starring Maverick, from issues 5-7. The story opens with a bunch of soldiers pointing guns at Maverick while he appears to be surrendering. To rectify this, he lobs a thermite grenade at them and reveals that he can seal himself in his armor.

It turns out that Maverick is hunting a man named Ryking—this is important for issues 12 and 13 although it is never made clear why. It also turns out that Maverick works for a guy named Barrington, which is the name Wolverine discovered on the computer in X-Men #8. Just as our hero is about to pull the trigger on his target, he is hit from behind. It turns out that Warhawk, an obscure X-Men villain who I’ll explain more about later, is protecting Ryking.

How It Was: Well Jim Lee and Scott Lobdell had fun with this one, didn’t they? While it’s kind of silly, the humor is self-aware enough to work; seeing Cyclops and Wolverine as complete opposites is worth a few giggles, as is the scene with everyone complaining about another X-Men versus X-Men fight. It’s a Mojo story, but it is one of the better done Mojo stories that I’ve read. As for Dazzler and Longshot, I’ve never gotten the appeal of the characters, but some fans go crazy for them, go figure. To each their own, I guess.

My only real complaint about the story is Longshot’s completely unnecessary amnesia that disappears within the first two pages. If I wanted to get picky, I’d complain about the character at the end, who later turns out to be Mojo II, but more on that later.

As for the back up strip, it’s pretty forgettable. It’s supposed to be setup for the next story arc, but that story never explains why this story is important, and then the whole thing gets forgotten. Maverick doesn’t really get any depth added to him; he is basically your average 90s hero with a machine gun and an ungodly amount of pouches drawn on his costume. And the inclusion of Warhawk, who hadn’t been seen in an X-Men story since Uncanny #110 back in 1978, is absolutely stupefying. Why anyone would want to read a story about Maverick fighting a bunch of nameless thugs and a D-list villain is beyond me. Also the coloring is really dark and muddy looking, and the inking is a little too thick for my taste; it almost looks like a coloring book.

A fun story brought down by a second, awful story.

B+

X-Men #9

X-Men #9
Writing: Jim Lee and Scott Lobdell
Art: Jim Lee and Art Thibert

Update: Click here for Part 2 and Part 4.


What Went Down: Once again, sorry I’m missing part two. This is part three of a four part crossover with Ghost Rider; I’ve never read the Ghost Rider issues, but presumably Ghost Rider randomly goes to New Orleans, encounters the Thieves and Assassins Guilds, and learns that they have been infected by the Brood before being infected himself. Also the X-Men are probably there to.  Update: After reading the issues in question, turns out I was right.  Am i good or am i good?

Anyways, the beginning of this issue starts with the Blue Squad plus Bella Donna (Gambit’s wife, or is it X-Wife—get it, ah ha ha) encountering Ghost Rider as he transforms into a half Brood/half Spirit of Vengeance. Yes, it’s Motivation for Pointless Super Hero vs. Super Hero Fight #56, the bad guy gains control over one of the parties involved.

Some Brood “slaymasters” also show up, and a very large battle ensues. Belle demonstrates some pretty impressive energy powers, which leads Gambit to question where she got them. Also, Jubilee freaks out and runs away because the Brood are supposed to be really scary, and Brood Ghost Rider is supposed to be even scarier.

The floor collapses. Afterwards Belle reveals she still has feelings for Gambit when she demonstrates concern for his wellbeing. Meanwhile, the reason you bought this comic in the 90’s—Wolverine and Ghost Rider fight for two whole pages. Ooooh. During the fight, Ghost Rider demonstrates signs that his human host, Dan Ketch, is fighting the Brood possession, so he runs away.

Elsewhere, Cyclops helps Psylocke out of some rubble, and Psylocke makes a pass at him. He responds as you’d expect; he acts incredibly uncomfortable and then pretends to ignore it.

Somehow Jubilee winds up alone, and ends up stumbling into a chamber where the aliens are holding members of the two guilds prisoner. Rogue finds her and both of them free the prisoners. They mention that the guilds’ children are being held in a different place. Then Ghost Rider shows up again.

All of the X-Men wander in to help fight Ghost Rider. Using her psi-blade, Psylocke manages to enter Ghost Rider’s mind. Surprisingly, Bella Donna goes in with her, although neither woman knows how. Together they fight the Brood essence controlling Ghost Rider, but Belle gets injured before killing it. Upon returning to the real world, Ghost Rider is back to normal, but Belle is dying. Gambit comforts her as she dies.

The comic ends with everyone striking a dynamic pose and explaining how they still have to save the captive children. Unfortunately, I don’t have Ghost Rider #27 either, so just assume that the kids get saved, and nothing monumental happens to the X-Men.  Update: click the link above.

How It Was: Well, it’s a big, dumb issue long fight scene; it’s not the best comic battle you’ll ever read, but it’s nice, light fun. The highlight of the issue is the dialogue by Scott Lobdell; he writes some exceptional funny banter, especially for the Beast and Jubilee. Moreover, he manages to convey some tragedy during the death of one-off character Bella Donna. The scene where Gambit tells her he would’ve chosen her is just perfect, as the panel cuts to both Rogue and Jubilee looking completely shocked and devastated.

The art is spectacular as always, although it’s never really clear where the fight is taking place. While it’s probably explained in the second part of the story, it would still be nice for the writer or artist to place a reminder or something. At first it looks like everyone is in a sewer, but then the floor gives out, and everybody falls into what still looks like a sewer. Furthermore, how do all the X-Men get separated when they all fall straight down through the floor?

My big problem with this issue is that it seems like an unnecessary crossover; the only reason this story exists is because the X-Men and Ghost Rider were both really popular characters at the time, and Marvel wanted to see if they could get some cross promotional action going. I guess I’ve just never really liked Ghost Rider as a character because he just comes off as a generic antihero with a really cool design, especially during the 90’s when comics were overflowing with antiheroes. Some people might say that I haven’t given the character a chance, and if I read the series regularly I’d discover how complex and interesting he is.

Here’s how I see it, when it comes to comic characters, there are certain defining stories that any fan could hand to an interested party to experience the best of what the book or character has to offer. This isn’t one of those stories, but the X-Men have a bunch of them, as do Batman, Spider-Man, etc. My point is that I don’t see a lot of people waving around any specific Ghost Rider story like X-Men fans might mention ‘The Dark Phoenix Saga’ or ‘Days of the Future Past’ or even possibly ‘Messiah Complex.’ Every story I have ever read with Ghost Rider in it, as well as the atrocious movie, has only reinforced my opinion that he was briefly popular in the 90’s because he’s visually interesting, not because there is any substance behind his character.

Man that was a heck of a tangent, but still relevant. Anywho, it’s a fight that is nice to look at, but doesn’t do anything to utilize Ghost Rider, other than to make him look even more bigger and over the top. But some nice X-character moments push this comic above mediocre.

B

X-Men #7

X-Men #7
Writing: Jim Lee and Scott Lobdell
Art: Jim Lee and Art Thibert

What Went Down: The finale of the Omega Red Saga… sounds more epic than it actually is. In any case, Wolverine is once again strapped to the memory-restoring device.

Sabretooth is acting weird; he can’t stop repeating his last line of dialogue from issue #6. The Hand ninjas with him notice this, but choose to ignore it because Creed is just so intimidating.

Andrea of Fenris is pressuring Dr. Cornelius to turn up the juice on his machine even though it might kill Logan. Although hesitant, he still does, and we learn that Logan had “one more assignment” for Janice as she was dying.

Matsuo figures out where the c-synthesizer is and orders Cornelius to finish off Wolverine, but before he can, Psylocke attacks. She states that Wolverine’s near death last issue freed her from Matsuo’s control, which is weird since that occurred before she was under his thrall in the first place.

At the same time, Maverick breaks free, attacks the Hand guards, and finds the location of the X-Men. It is revealed that Sabretooth is actually under Psylocke’s control (in case you didn’t see that coming).

As Maverick arrives to free the X-Men, Psylocke gets knocked out, and Creed regains his freedom. Beast and Jubilee free themselves and take him out.

Wolverine breaks free and attacks Omega, and the rest of the Blue Team show up and a big fight proceeds. During the fight, some stored chemicals ignite, so the X-Men have to make a big dramatic escape before the building blows up, which they do.

Over in Mojoworld, Longshot’s rebellion didn’t go so well since most of his forces are dead in the street, and Mojo is holding Longshot’s beaten body. Dazzler thinks to herself that she needs to summon more X-Men.

Back in Germany, Wolverine tells the rest of the team he has one more job to do. Cyclops tells him if he needs help, he can always ask. It’s very touching.

Later, Matsuo has some of the Hand digging up Janice Hollenbeck’s grave to get the carbonadium synthesizer. Unfortunately for him, Wolverine has already dug up the body, hidden in its casket, and reburied himself somehow. He bursts out, kills the ninjas, and chops off Matsuo’s hand. Dr. Cornelius threatens Wolverine with a gun to his head, but Maverick shows up and pops the good doctor in the head instead. Wolverine gives the synthesizer to Maverick because he senses it belongs to him. The End.

How It Was: This story always feels longer than it actually is; it could easily lose an issue and not lose much. The main problem with this story is that a lot of the twists don’t feel like they were thought out ahead of time; they just don’t fit with the continuity of the story and feel added in at the last minute. When the book claims Psylocke overcame her conditioning when Wolverine almost died last issue, the reader knows it doesn’t make sense because Matsuo didn’t take control of her until after Wolverine almost died. As for the villains, Psylocke manages to take down half of Fenris and Omega Red by herself, which makes it all the more perplexing how the whole team had so much trouble with them. Also, Sabretooth doesn’t contribute a whole heck of a lot this issue except for getting controlled and beat up, and his sidekick Birdy has completely vanished.

On the other hand, the ending sequence at the graveyard is excellently done and provides great atmosphere with the rain and dark shading. Even though it’s only two pages it is a very effective, gritty, fast paced scene, which is helped a lot by the panel layout. As for the Mojoverse scene, it’s very disappointing that we don’t get to see the doomed assault on Mojo. Yes, we all knew it was going to fail so the X-Men could show up and fix it, but it still would have been nice to watch them try.

As I’ve stated before, it’s hard to get excited about this story because most of it gets forgotten after Jim Lee leaves in a few issues. Fenris disappear, Omega Red goes on to appear as a reoccurring villain just about any time the X-Men go to Russia (like in issue #18), and Matsuo forgets about the Upstarts and moves onto the Psylocke/Revanche storyline in issue 21. Even the carbondadium synthesizer gets completely forgotten about for almost 15 years, until Daniel Way brings it up again in Wolverine Origins #6-10, so don’t hold your breath waiting for the significance of that maguffin to show up in this blog.

C+

Next Week: Uncanny #281-283

X-Men #6

X-Men #6
Writing: Jim Lee and Scott Lobdell
Art: Jim Lee and Art Thibert

What Went Down: Hey, Scott Lobdell is writing the dialogue! Remember that name because in a couple of issues, he starts writing the X-books for a really, really long time.

On to the issue. Cyclops and Beast take out a number of Hand ninjas, even though they don’t look like ninjas right now, with flashy powers and one-liners. They are looking for Wolverine with Jubilee, when they are all attacked and captured by, you guessed it, Omega Red.

Over in another part of the building, Maverick is trying to resuscitate Wolverine who has inconveniently decided to try to die. Three things to point out: 1. Maverick is now speaking German, even though last issue he spoke only in English. Actually, he is speaking in English translated from German, but this is still important in telling us who he is working for. 2. It turns out that Wolverine did hit the ground after he jumped out of that window last issue, even though the art showed him just disappearing, with no splatter marks on the ground. 3. Maverick explains that the mystery canister from last issue was actually full of healing cells extracted from Wolverine’s body, but it broke when he did or did not hit the ground—hence the dying.

Back in another urine tinted flashback, the team gets cornered by Omega Red, who is colored yellow and red as opposed to yellow and black. Creed/future Sabretooth panics, kills Janice=the agent they were supposed to protect, and pushes everyone out the window where they fall a number of stories. Creed than figures out that they are all mutants since none of them died.

Cut to the Mojoverse, where Lila has unhelpfully teleported Longshot, The Dazzler, and herself right to Mojo’s base and can no longer teleport away. The heroes fight Mojo’s guards, run away, and are saved by a member of Longshot’s resistance. Later, Longshot and Dazzler spend a tender moment outside under the stars.

Back on Earth proper, Rogue, Gambit, and Psylocke are fighting more guys in red trench coats… I mean ninjas. Fenris shows up to take out Gambit with an energy blast, and Matsuo triggers a post-hypnotic suggestion in Psylocke that causes her to take down Rogue.

Psylocke’s attack on Rogue causes Wolverine to wake up—at this point in continuity, Psylocke and Wolverine share a psychic link similar to Cyclops and Jean Grey’s. I’m unfamiliar with the story this happens in, it was before my time as they say, but it doesn’t matter a whole lot because this psychic link is completely ignored after this story.

Anyways, Wolverine attacks Maverick, and Maverick realizes that Wolverine doesn’t remember who he is. Another flashback shows Wolverine flipping out on Creed and walking away from the group. In the present, Sabretooth, dressed like a pimp for some reason, and his assistant Birdy show up at the villains’ base and jam the cameras.

Once inside, Sabretooth taunts all of the shackled X-Men. Most importantly, Creed reveals that he already knows Gambit and alludes to having injured him before.

Maverick and Wolverine go down to the sewers where they are ambushed by Sabretooth, now dressed in his normal costume, and the hypnotically controlled Psylocke; the fight isn't shown, but the end result is both heroes being carried away unconscious.

Fenris and Matsuo toast the success of Sabretooth—Matsuo explains that until they find the location of the c-synthesizer, Omega Red still needs the life force of others to sustain him. He suggests killing one of the X-Men. DUN-DUH-DUNNN!

How It Was: It’s the standard “all the heroes get captured in the third act before escaping and defeating the villains in the fourth act” set up. The main plot thread is not exactly innovative, but the stuff in Mojoworld is a little more fun. The recurring gag of everybody calling Mojo a fat blob like he’s not there, as well as a well placed Terminator parody, show that Lee and Lobdell at least get the humor and absurdity that are necessary for a decent Mojo story.

As for the main thread, it starts to drag at this point. The introduction of Sabretooth adds yet another villain to the already crowded plot; he basically gets brought in because you can’t have a token “Wolverine’s past” story without him. At least he doesn’t constantly complain about the synthesizer like every other villain in this story. As for the stuff with Psylocke being controlled, it’s pretty iffy and gets even more questionable after next issue’s explanation. And Maverick’s recollections of the events of the previous issue bear little resemblance to what actually occurred, which is kind of disconcerting.

The art is as always good, but with a few questionable choices. The dull looking yellow filtered flashbacks return, but then the final flashback is dark blue and black and works a lot better. Also all of the villains have weird colored dust clouds following them: Omega Red has a green one, although it might just be his “death factor,” and Sabretooth has a brown cloud trailing him when he shows up in the sewer with Psylocke. Hmmm… a brown cloud in the sewer, what could that be? Actually, now that I mention it, the cover also has the weird cloud on it as well. Oh, and Matsuo’s face isn’t colored in on the second to last page. Way to drop the ball!

C

X-Men #5

X-Men #5
Writers: Jim Lee and John Byrne
Art: Jim Lee, Scott Williams, Art Thibert, Bob Wiacek, and Joe Rubinstein

What Went Down: Cerebro alerts Forge that the majority of the Blue squad has been captured. Forge complains that the computer’s voice is too emotionless, but that doesn’t really matter to the reader because this is a book. Cyclops enlists Colossus and Psylocke to help in the rescue. Betsy was in the pool, so she is wearing a bikini that is even more shameless than her normal costume. In fact, it’s made even more laughable by the fact that she tries to put a tiny jacket on to cover up.

Everyone, besides Wolverine, who was captured last issue is in the back of a fake ambulance. Gambit manages to get hold of a card and free everyone, but than the truck in front of them explodes. Colossus finds Wolverine’s mask which leads Cyclops to ponder if Wolverine even had his uniform with him (which he did last issue, but he wasn’t wearing his mask).

Cut to Omega Red beating the tar out of Wolverine outdoors in snowy Berlin while being observed by Matsuo, Fenris, and Dr. Cornelius from the Weapon X story. After being knocked out, Wolverine is strapped to a machine and flashes back to his covert operations days with Sabretooth and an unknown agent—back in the present, our villains reveal that they are after a maguffin called the carbonadium synthesizer, which Wolverine is supposed to know about. It's supposed to help Omega Red control his powers better or something.

All the X-Men meet to discuss the plan of action; the Gold Team is dressed up because they are about to go to the Hellfire Club in Uncanny #281, even though that comic came out four months prior. Psylocke vouches for Jubilee to go with the Blue Team, Banshee leaves to go after Moira, Xavier is seen looking at a file labeled Project Xavier which is foreshadowing a much later subplot, and Forge and the Professor begin the chess game that they are seen playing in Uncanny #282.

Maverick shows up in his first appearance; he is also looking for the c-synthesizer, and he is that other agent in the flashbacks. He stages a distraction allowing Wolverine to escape. Logan is seen running from Omega with a non-descript canister—the dialogue makes you think it is the c-synthesizer, but it’s not… honest. Wolvie escapes out a window and disappears; at the same time he is having more flashbacks of his team trying to extract an undercover agent named Janice.

The X-Men track Wolverine and infiltrate the building he was being held in. Meanwhile, Maverick takes Wolverine to a room in the building with a computer. He explains that the X-Men are probably going to die, and then Wolverine passes out.

The issue ends, oddly, with a scene in the Mojoverse. Dazzler has lost her memory and Lila Cheney is trying to help her remember the X-Men. Longshot bursts in and kisses Dazzler, Spiral bursts in and threatens everyone, and Lila teleports everyone away. This is set up for the upcoming story in X-Men #10-11.

How It Was: Lots for you if you are a fan of Wolverine. There is more on the connection between Omega Red and Wolverine, some flashbacks with everyone wearing weird visors on their heads, and the introduction of Maverick, who proves to be a very enduring character with his own ties to the Weapon X program. The scenes where Wolverine is conscious are easily the most interesting of the issue. The only problem is the canister that magically appears in Wolverines hands as he escapes, then disappears after Maverick rescues him, only to be conveniently explained away next issue.

As for the rest…well it’s all pretty much like I said last issue. All of the villains are boring, except Omega Red, and it’s hard to get excited since after this arc most of them just disappear or show up in different capacities which completely ignore this story. They all seem to be alluding to the Upstarts storyline in Uncanny, but none of them ever become a part of that team. Plus, all they’re really after is a standard maguffin to help Omega Red control his powers better, but he seems just fine in later stories without it.

As for the rest of the X-Men, there is some struggling to find something to do with them. The sequence with Cyclops and crew in the beginning is pretty unnecessary since the captured X-Men rescue themselves, and the writing struggles to either find something to do with all of these characters or fill up space. Forge complains about the computer’s voice, the X-Men sit down and explain how they are going to rescue Wolverine instead of just doing it; a lot of this comes off as space filler rather than necessary to the plot.

The art is great, except for the flashbacks. Jim Lee’s pencils are fine, but the costume designs for Team X are a mix between standard black ops soldiers and Robocop, and the art department decided that the flashbacks should be colored in what can only be described as urine yellow and black.

C+

X-Men #4

Real quick: this arc begins before the Upstarts story in Uncanny #281-283 and runs concurrently through it starting with the next issue, so I will be reviewing this story first. Also, Chris Claremont is out, so Jim Lee is doing the art and the plotting while John Byrne is responsible for the script. This leads to some discrepancies later.

X-Men #4
Writers: Jim Lee and John Byrne
Art: Jim Lee

What Went Down: The book opens with a weird cult ritual/medical experiment that ends in the deaths of a lot of Russians. The result is the birth of Omega Red. This is Omega’s first appearance and he is probably one of the most successful villains created in the 90s as far as not fading into obscurity by being absolutely horrible. Matsuo Tsuryaba greets him and offers him revenge on Wolverine.

The X-Men are playing basketball at the mansion; traditionally they would’ve been playing baseball, but starting with this issue basketball becomes the standby for a couple of years. Rogue accuses Gambit of cheating because they’re not using powers and his powers include, “natural agility.” This results in a fight.

Elsewhere at the mansion, Moira is having nightmares about her son, Proteus, and Magneto as a result of the previous issues. Oddly, Dr. MacTaggert is asleep during the middle of the day. At any rate, Professor X, Banshee, and Cyclops burst into her room because Xavier sensed her psychic distress, even though he wasn’t trying. Honest. Everyone once again reassures Moira that what happened in the last story arc wasn’t her fault, although Xavier has to help Banshee with his mental powers because Sean’s jaw is still broken from last issue.

Moira appears to be calming down until Rogue bursts in through the wall after being hit by an energy-charged basketball courtesy of Gambit. Moira runs off hysterically. Strangely, neither Cyclops nor Professor X are angry with the other X-Men for destroying a room in the mansion or traumatizing Moira.

In Berlin, Matsuo is shown meeting C-list villains Andrea and Andreas von Strucker, collectively known as Fenris; they are the children of Captain America villain and nazi scientist Baron von Strucker. The meeting is about Fenris’ desire to use Omega Red and their money to obtain immortality somehow.

Gambit once again tries to kiss Rogue and is rewarded by getting socked; he is still convinced Rogue’s power won’t hurt him. Sean is still trying to comfort Moira, but it is not going so well. She eventually decides to leave the mansion because… well, she just insists that she can’t stay.

Gambit and Rogue get ready to go on their first date, but Beast, Wolverine, and Jubilee decide that they are going with the couple to make sure Gambit behaves. Gambit tries to lose his chaperons, but all the X-Men are soon attacked and captured by the Hand and Omega Red. I don't know why, but the ninjas of the Hand are now wearing sunglasses and trench coats, and Wolverine is back in his old yellow and blue uniform. Moira’s taxi passes by, but she is too distraught to look out the window and notice her friends being hauled off.

How It Was: Well, for the first time in three decades Chris Claremont is completely unattached to a single X-Men project. Jim Lee had been credited as co-plotter for the previous arc and his first crack at solo plotter is pretty solid. Despite coming off as a mostly stereotypical evil communist Russian, Omega Red has managed to become a fairly popular villain since his first appearance; it’s hard to tell whether this is due to his eerie, corpse-like design, or the fact that his origin is tied to Wolverine’s. Visually, he has a lot going for him, although his “death factor” is a very contrived attempt to provide an evil equivalent to Wolverine’s healing factor. Having heroes get sick and fall over around him is kind of a lame way for them to get defeated, and later writers would usually ignore this power and have Red suck the life out of them with his tentacles.

The scenes with the X-Men playing ball are really solid. Jubilee provides some humorous moments; Gambit and Rogue demonstrate their dysfunctional/flirtatious relationship; and Wolverine gets to act grouchy and potentially violent. Unfortunately, the scenes with everyone else attempting to calm down Moira are a pretty painful attempt to get her out of the mansion on the part of the creators. The whole time she just cries and overreacts to everything Banshee and Xavier tell her. Plus, Moira justified why she wasn’t responsible for Magneto’s return to evil in the last issue, so the whole point should be moot. It’s even more difficult to get excited about this plot line because it will be completely dropped and forgotten in a couple of months when Moira returns to help treat the Legacy Virus. The scenes with Matsuo and Fenris are okay, but these ultimately lead nowhere also, as Fenris disappears after this arc.

The art is great. All of the X-Men look great in their sports and evening wear, the end battle with ninjas is dutifully flashy and action packed, and the opening sequences with Omega Red are suitably disturbing. And even though the poses during the basketball game are a little exaggerated, they still give off a nice sense of speed and movement. A great issue held back by plots that will go nowhere and a perplexing direction for Moira.

B+

The Dream Teams

Just so there is no confusion, I thought it would be helpful to list out the team rosters in 1991 so that I don’t have to take up the space in another post. Back in 1991, and the beginning of X-Men #1, we have:

The Blue Squad (appearing in X-Men): Cyclops, Wolverine, Rogue, Gambit, Psylocke, Beast, and later Jubilee.

The Gold Squad (appearing in Uncanny X-Men): Storm, Jean Grey, Colossus, Archangel, and Iceman.

Other support characters: Professor X, Banshee, Forge, and Dr. Moira MacTaggert.