Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Andy Kubert
What Went Down: The X-Babies find themselves in Little Italy after running away from Gog and Magog last issue. A priest stops to help them and this affords them a chance to recap the plot. Gog and Magog show up, and the X-Babies keep running.
The club from last issue has been completely destroyed, but Bishop and Gambit were somehow able to survive and blow themselves out of the rubble. Gambit reasserts that he would never willingly hurt the X-Men, but Bishop brushes him off so they can go look for the X-Babies.
At the bookstore, Baby Storm and Baby Iceman are fighting with each other, but Jean uses her powers to hide them from the crowd. The X-Babies convince the two X-Men to help them; Iceman mentions that they aren’t real, but Jean detects psionic imprints, so even if they started out as artificial lifeforms, they are alive now.
The rest of the X-Babies hide in a carnival stuffed animal shelf while Gog and Magog tear the carnival apart. Gambit and Bishop show up to save the day, but the fight ends with the X-Men pinned. The X-Babies decide to help fight back with water pistols and a mallet. Then Jean and Bobby show up with rest of the X-Babies to help out. They freeze the bad guys, but the bad guys break out. Magog is about to eat all the X-Babies when a blinding light interrupts him. The light came from former X-Man and current co-leader of Mojoworld, Dazzler.
Gog and Magog refer to her as “your majesty” but Dazzler insists that she has no role in the new political structure; she teleports the two minions away after chastising them. Dazzler then tells the kids that they can live with her and Longshot until the political situation stabilizes in Mojoworld. The X-Men share pleasantries with Dazzler, and Jean interrupts Iceman from asking about all the mouths to feed. As the X-Babies teleport away, Jean tells Iceman that she didn’t sense any life within Alison, inferring that she had a miscarriage. At the mansion, Xavier summons Tabitha Smith, aka Boomer, to explain to her that he is turning Sabretooth over to the government in Uncanny #328.
How It Was: Well…this is something different. Scott Lobdell tries to lighten things up a little with the X-Babies, but the problem is that none of the humor is particularly clever, or for that matter funny. All of the jokes revolve around the cuteness and immaturity of the X-Babies, which can be hilarious when done right: see Runaways’ Molly Hayes. But none of these jokes are really funny, although Kubert’s representations are cute enough to make you smile when you see them.
As for the rest, well we’ve dumped most of the characterization for faster paced action, but it’s action against Gog and Magog, so I can’t imagine anybody caring. And the whole thing resolves itself anti-climactically when we learn that the two minions mixed up their orders. Seeing Dazzler is kind of neat, except it’s only for about three pages—enough time for the X-Men to say hi real quickly. And I never understood why Jean assumes Dazzler had a miscarriage; she hasn’t been seen for thirty-six issues, surely that’s enough time in comic time for a pregnancy to come to term. Heck, Ka-Zar and Shanna’s pregnancy happened almost entirely off-panel, and then that baby just kind of disappeared. But I digress.
This is a very weird story that doesn’t work because it isn’t all that funny and it wraps up a little too neatly for its own good. Really it’s a bit of a disaster, but the art is nice.
D
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