Writing: Jeph Loeb
Art: Adam Pollina
What Went Down: We open on Shatterstar holding Meltdown, formerly Boom Boom, right above one of the SHIELD Hellicarrier’s engines. She throws a time-bomb in and counts it down. On the bridge, Dum-Dum Dugan is in charge; G.W. Bridge is currently running SHIELD because I believe Nick Fury died over in the Hulk series. Anyway, alarms start going off and Dugan starts yelling at people. A shadowy figure tells Dugan that he’ll take care of it and that mutants fall under his jurisdiction. Contessa Valentina shows up to tell Dugan not to freak out.
In other parts of the Hellicarrier, different squads of X-Force members break in. Cable is teamed with Caliban, who is tasked with locating a particular mutant. Cable brings up some recent X-Force events while they walk. Domino and Siryn discover a load of invisible lasers, but Dom is able to use her luck powers to avoid them while shooting out all the weapons emplacements.
Meltdown and Shatterstar are attacked by some SHIELD troops, but Meltdown discovers they’re all LMDs, so they can use lethal force on the robots. After defeating them, Tabitha searches the ship’s databases and discovers that Sabretooth is still alive, but his location is classified. She blows up the computer because she is still angry about Sabretooth’s betrayal of her sympathies.
Back on the bridge, Dum-Dum yells at his people some more. As X-Force makes their way through the ship, they tear out a variety of systems. Caliban leads Cable to a big round door, saying they’re objective is behind it. Cable contacts the rest of the team to meet them there, and they proceed to combine they’re powers to open the door. Inside, they find Cyclops strapped to a machine. Also, SHIELD has surrounded X-Force while they were opening the door.
G.W. Bridge appears to tell X-Force that Cyclops is a prisoner of the U.S. government. The team pretends to surrender, but Cable uses his powers to free Cyclops of his headpiece allowing him to take out all the SHIELD soldiers with his optic blasts. Bridge is the only one left standing, so Cable punches him out. The team escapes, and Jean Grey picks them all up in a jet. She shares a kiss with Cyclops afterwards.
In an epilogue, Warpath is enjoying a relaxing beach vacation with Risque after disappearing during a battle in a previous issue. The cliffhanger is that he doesn’t know if he wants to leave Risque to rejoin the team.
How It Was: Well, this feels like an unnecessary detour. Granted, it’s not taking up an X-Men issue, but it’s still hard to see why any of this was necessary. We never get to find out why the Friends of Humanity turn Cyclops over to SHIELD or what Kelly’s huge secret was. I also can’t picture X-Force fans being thrilled about having all the book’s plot lines derailed for a meaningless crossover with Uncanny X-Men.
Still, parts of this story still work as a kind of big, dumb heist caper. It’s nice to see the members of X-Force working together to infiltrate the ship so effectively, and there’s some decent action and interactions. Since I’m primarily an X-Men fan, it’s nice to see Meltdown following up on Sabretooth since that’s one of the few character arcs I’m familiar with. Almost everyone clearly has one or two subplots they’re going through, which is nice, but I get the distinct feeling that none of them are furthered with this issue. Also, I don’t like how Domino’s power becomes a plot device to easily overcome any obstacle.
The main problems come from the fact that the whole issue is dedicated to solely rescuing Cyclops and the incompetent portrayal of SHIELD. Yes there is some alluding to factional infighting within the organization, but SHIELD still comes off as being run by a bunch of idiots, which is usually the case when they’re in any book other than they’re own. All Dum-Dum Dugan does is yell for the whole issue, and as far as being worthless goes, the same goes for G.W. Bridge. It’s exciting to see that Bastion might get involved, but then he disappears after the beginning of the book and nothing comes of his telling off Dugan at all.
This is not really where the story in Uncanny #333 needed to go. It feels like a needless distraction for X-Force, and it’s hard to get excited about SHIELD in the 90s without Nick Fury. This feels like a competent team book, but it turns out to be nothing special, which is a shame since this was a golden opportunity to gain more readers. You can almost feel how hard this series wants to be X-Men with the logo at the top of the cover, or at the very least recapture its initial popularity.
C+
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