X-Men #70

X-Men #70
Writing: Joe Kelly
Art: Carlos Pacheco

What Went Down:  We open on Iceman using an ice slide to bring Cecilia Reyes and Marrow back to the X-mansion.  Cecilia is terrified by the height and speed, but Marrow goads Iceman into going faster.  When they reach the mansion, they discover that not only has Bastion stolen everything in it, he has used nanotechnology to strip the building of the paint and carpet.  Cecilia runs off, demoralized that she has nothing in her life.

As Cecilia cries to herself, she observes the X-Men bursting through the ceiling because Cyclops has a bomb implanted in him that is going to go off soon.  Of course, all of their medical equipment is gone, so they all start to despair.  Storm is shocked to see Marrow in the mansion. At the same time a giant is carrying a lawyer down the road to the mansion.  Seeing how little hope the X-Men have, Cecilia takes charge of the situation.  After getting a telepathic explanation from Jean, she assigns everyone tasks to do to help Cyclops.

Storm has to get boiling water.  While she generates some rain, Marrow appears to taunt Storm for trying to kill her.  Storm tells her she might want to go back to the sewers.  Cannonball manages to steal some medical supplies, but there’s no scalpel, so Wolverine’s claws have to be used to operate on Scott.  As the surgery/bomb removal begins, the doorbell rings.  Storm finds the Juggernaut, wearing a suit and tie, outside with his lawyer.  It turns out that with Xavier missing, the school and its assets fall to him as Charles’ stepbrother.  Storm slams the door on him and uses her powers to wash out the roads.  Marrow flirts a little with Cannonball while Cecilia continues the operation.

Juggernaut bursts through the door, but he is surprised to see the mansion empty.  He changes into his Juggernaut armor, but the remaining X-Men return just in time to confront him.  Juggernaut taunts the team when he sees that Gambit and Bishop are missing, causing Rogue to lash out.  Maggott decides to take on Juggernaut, but he is easily subdued.  Seeing how pathetic of a state the team is in, Juggernaut decides to leave and come back.

Beast and Joseph show up to help get rid of the bomb.  Wolverine lashes out at Trish Tilby, blaming her story on the Legacy Virus for creating the hysteria that has led to Operation Zero Tolerance and Cyclops’ situation. 

It turns out that this bomb doesn’t explode; it expands and fills a three-mile radius with goo that suffocates and preserves anything in its path.  Marrow gives Cecilia some bones to pry the bomb out and Rogue throws the bomb to one of Maggott’s slugs, who promptly eats it.  Cyclops thanks Cecilia for helping him. 

Later, everyone leaves Cyclops’ room.  Jean explains to Scott that she is worried about how fractured the team is, along with the addition of three strangers.  We end on Marrow carving some menacing threats on the door to the basement.

How It Was: Two double-sized issues in one month!  Brilliant!  I’m just going to go ahead and proclaim that I really love Joe Kelly’s run, especially this issue.  He just has such a great handle on the characters, similar to Lobdell, but he also manages to infuse his characters with a healthy amount of humor and agency.  Even double-sized, this issue has a lot of characters in it, and Kelly balances them all incredibly well, giving each one a moment or two.

Most important of all is that this is the issue where Cecilia demonstrates that she has value beyond whining and absorbing damage.  While her personality could be hard to take in previous issues, coming off as almost selfish, one page into Scott’s operation is all Kelly needs to demonstrate that Cecilia’s abrasive personality is a necessary, and valuable, quality in her field of work.  She takes charge of veteran X-Men in a convincing way, prioritizing her patient over all else.  Marrow also gets some great scenes.  Her playfulness leaves her motivations ambiguous; the reader isn’t quite sure whether Marrow wants to be a hero or stab them all in their sleep.  The tension between Marrow and Storm is well portrayed, and well-earned, setting up a lot of Kelly’s future issue.

Even Maggott is finally more fleshed out.  Yes, his personality has gotten a complete overhaul from his appearances in Uncanny, but in my opinion it’s for the best.  Before Maggott was so generic and uninteresting; now he may be a little goofier and full of himself, but it’s entertaining if you go with it.  And really, who wants to take a hero with giant mutant slugs seriously?

As much as the issue is about the new characters, it’s also about how utterly defeated the old ones are.  Longtime readers have seen the mansion destroyed numerous times by this point in continuity, but having it completely stripped bare is a new and even more unsettling visual.  Yes there is no real reason for it, other than Bastion going out of his way to be a tool, but it presents an interesting obstacle for the mutants to overcome, physically and emotionally.

I even really like the stuff with the Juggernaut.  Yes, it’s absurd that Xavier hasn’t willed his assets to any of his students, especially before voluntarily leaving for the government, but this gives us more conflict and tension for the main characters.  Unfortunately as I always say—too bad the stuff with the Juggernaut never really goes anywhere. 

Some minor hang-ups: it is a little convenient that Maggott’s slug could consume a bomb capable of coating three miles of area.  Yes I know Maggott needs something to contribute to his intro, but it is a little forced.  Also, Jubilee, Archangel, and Psylocke have disappeared.  I realize that Kelly already has an overwhelming cast, but it feels strange to have these characters missing, even if Steve Seagle comes up with an excuse for Betsy and Warren later.  It’s just odd that Jubilee would leave before this was resolved, but I understand she would’ve had nothing to contribute to the story.

In the span of this issue, Kelly delivers a fun one-and-done story while also setting up a number of plot threads, most of which will go unfulfilled.  He clearly has a handle on where he wants to go, and all the new characters have unique and compelling voices.  My only regret is that many of these threads go unfurthered and the new characters don’t stay around long enough.  This is the most substantial roster shake up since 1991, and it’s all for the best.  The title has energy and direction that it hasn’t had since Onslaught.

A