X-Men #83

X-Men #83

Writing: Joe Kelly

Art: Adam Kubert

What Went Down:  Renee Majcomb holds Nina the young Mannite as the Alpha Cerebro fights the X-Men.  Nina is able to assist by waking up members knocked unconscious. Gambit blows up the floor underneath the villain, buying the team some time to regroup.  In a power plant, the primary Cerebro is busy cataloging humans and locking them in spheres.

Back in Russia, Renee helps Nina explain her background.  Back at the Zero Tolerance base, Nina imprinted Xavier’s mind when she met him, adding his memories to her own telepathic and reality warping powers.  Charles was able to summon Renee to save Nina, and Nina led them to the monks that Charles had spent time with while trying to control his own powers. 

Cerebro attacks again, this time by controlling Colossus.  The Cerebrite is also able to prematurely cause Gambit’s cards to explode and utilize nanotechnology to trap Storm in a box.  The Cerebrite shoots a beam at Storm causing her to disappear. 

After a brief glimpse at the Cerbro battle over in Uncanny, we return to the action with Rogue saving the unconscious Gambit.  Rogue’s glove is torn, so she accidentally gets a glimpse of the green mist lady who saved Gambit in Antarctica.  The Cerebrite knocks out Rogue and takes Nina.

How It Was:  Kelly tries to frame this issue through narration that focuses on the fear that the young Nina must be going through.  This would be a lot more effective if the girl in question wasn’t an all-powerful plot device, or if anybody cared about Nina.  Anyway, here’s an issue long fight scene where half the X-Men fight their rogue computer. 

Actually the fight has some nice moments, like Gambit charging the floor up, and Storm blowing him away at the last second.  It’s a little annoying that Nina can use her powers to wake up X-Men that have been knocked unconscious.  I suppose that one could argue that Cerebro is just as overpowered: he can trigger powers, possess Colossus, and survive lots of different attacks.  But at least Cerebro explains how he makes Gambit’s cards explode or makes a box for Storm to be trapped in. 

There’s not a lot to say about this issue.  It’s a big fight with a lot of complaining from Renee and Nina.  Cerebro gets a chance to use its powers intelligently in taking down the X-Men, although it’s unclear why it only chooses to assimilate Storm instead of the whole team.  Plot convenience I guess.  Solid action.

For X-Fans

Uncanny X-Men #363

Uncanny X-Men #363

Writing: Steve Seagle

Art: Chris Bachalo

What Went Down:  We open on what I think is a number of the creators of this very comic discussing chocolate at Ghiradelli Square when they are interrupted by falling debris from the sky.  It turns out to be another Cerebro unit—this one being the Beta unit.  At Alcatraz the Toad, who now speaks only in rhyme for some reason, takes an apple to a captive Charles Xavier. 

At the Golden Gate Park, the other four X-Men discuss how they are going to proceed.  Nightcrawler gets to show off the cloaking device he installed on the Blackbird.  Because the X-Men only own one portable Cerebro, this team is depending on Wolverine to track Xavier.  As the X-Men strategize, a local couple is attacked by the Beta Cerebrite, which overwhelms and “catalogs” them.

Despite having a futuristic space age cloaking device for their ship, the X-Men have neglected to bring normal clothes to walk the streets of San Francisco in.  Kitty is forced to take coats from a homeless vagrant, but she leaves some money for him. As they walk the streets, Nightcrawler finds a twenty in one of the pockets and buys a necklace for Kitty. 

Wolverine finds a building with Charles’ scent, but all they find is a smashed up wheelchair.  Marrow gets into a confrontation with a punk, but Logan diffuses it.  In a secret base called Area 52, another Cerebro robot sneaks in and retrieves some nanotechnology developed by Bastion.

After failing to find Professor X, Wolverine takes the team to Chinatown where they meet a wise Chinese person named Black Crane, who is from Logan’s past.  Black Crane is able to see that Professor X is at Alcatraz, but another is searching for him.  Outside Kurt gives Kitty the necklace he bought her.

Arriving at Alcatraz, the X-Men are attacked by the new Brotherhood of Mutants.  The X-Men are thrown off because the Brotherhood is utilizing teamwork and tactics that they normally do not display.  The fight is stopped by Professor X, who has been training the Brotherhood to combat Cerebro.  The Brotherhood is also responsible for breaking Xavier out of the Hulkbuster base.  The issue ends with the Beta Cerebro bursting through the wall and attacking. 

How It Was:  Note to publishers: maybe you shouldn’t spoil your one minor twist on the cover.  One could argue that this reveal is spoiled by the first scene with Toad and Xavier, but up to this point Charles is only revealed to be a prisoner.  Not that this is a huge spoiler, it’s just that after months of buildup, one would think that the discovery of Xavier might hold some type of surprise.  Either way it doesn’t really matter since the Xavier training the Brotherhood angle is dropped as quickly as it is introduced. 

As for the rest of the issue, it’s mostly more stretching out the hunt.  The first half of the issue has the X-Men doing such exciting things as shopping in downtown San Francisco, threatening hipsters, and meeting a stereotypically wise elderly Asian man who just tells the where to go.  Why didn’t they talk to this guy months ago? While Seagle is teasing a potential romance between Nightcrawler and Kitty, it’s really subtle and almost completely forgotten after this issue if I remember right.  Other than that, the characters really don’t have much to do except reiterate events of past issues leading up to this point and agonize over not having enough money to shop for jewelry.  This team is so terrible that they don’t even think to bring clothes to change into when they’re visiting downtown San Francisco!  The other team had enough time to put on coats and boots for the snowy mountains…it’s not hard.

After being told by Black Crane to get the story moving, the X-Men fight the Brotherhood for a couple of pages.  Bachalo’s art shows off the scope of the destruction and craziness quite well, but his superdeformed style makes some of the characters look odd.  His Wolverine looks more like Beast, his Blob changes sizes by the panel, and his Marrow has dreadlocks somehow. 

Of course if you read X-Men #82, you already know that the cliffhanger is once again going to be another Cerebro robot, and it’s pretty sad that a six part story has to use the same ending twice in a row.  Yes we’re supposed to glimpse the events from each team’s side, but this is a pretty unoriginal structure they’re using.  The X-Men issues at least had some novel uses of artwork to move the story, as well as the wonderful tension between Gambit and the rest of the team.  Here there is none of that, so all we get is an average story that ends with a very lackluster reunion with Xavier.

For Completists

X-Men #82

X-Men #82

Writing: Joe Kelly

Art: Adam Kubert

What Went Down:  Gambit and Colossus are both plummeting from a mountaintop after Gambit impulsively jumped on Peter’s shoulders in an attempt to lighten the mood.  Storm and Rogue save them, and fortunately the fall has led them right to the place they were hoping to get to.  It’s a temple made of ice. 

Inside the temple, one of the monks of the order alerts Renee Majcomb that there are intruders.  Elsewhere, Gambit brushes off Rogue’s attempts to get close to him.  Colossus finds it appalling, not knowing that Gambit is possessed by an evil being.  Gambit blows the door to an area and finds the frozen corpses of the majority of the monks.  An observer watches the X-Men and analyzes them. 

The X-Men come to a liquid mirror that appears to be some kind of portal.  Since Xavier’s signal is coming from it, they enter it.  The world inside distorts their senses and skews reality.  Rogue has an easier time with it because she is used to the confusion of having multiple personalities in her head.  Outside Renee asks a mystery figure if the trap is working; the mystery person thinks that they have the wrong people.  A robot that looks like Cerebro from issue #81 observes the mirror. 

Inside the mirror the X-Men experience a variety of abstract tortures, but when Rogue and Gambit reach for each other, they begin to turn back to normal.  They realize that extreme emotions are the key to escaping the mirror.  Storm thinks of her love for the X-Men, Colossus the death of his sister, Rogue thinks of Gambit, and Gambit thinks about the mist thing that possessed him. 

After breaking out, the X-Men are confronted by Renee and Nina, the girl from Onslaught: Epilogue that Professor X met.  They apologize for mistaking the X-Men for enemies and learn that they are being chased by Cerebro, who thinks Nina is Xavier. 

How It Was:  This issue: the X-Men get their own young and adorably cute sidekick.  What, you’re not excited?  Anyways Nina the Mannite turns up after her appearance in Onslaught: Epilogue.  Don’t worry, she’s not staying permanently, but it’s still enough to cast a pall over this story.  Nobody could possibly care whether or not this tiny plot device got ripped apart by a Cerebro robot, which is a real failing in this entire story.

Despite that rather sobering intro, this issue is actually really fun.  The opening is worth a small smile as Gambit tries too hard to fit back in with X-Men and the ice temple is really nicely rendered by Adam Kubert.  The best part of the book is when the team is attacked in the mirror by Nina.  The shift in art style and coloring does a perfect job of capturing the shift in reality that consumes the X-Men; it’s a great example of storytelling through visuals as the team’s perceptions are completely upended.  Yes it’s hokey that they break free by feeling emotions, but it’s worth it for the line, “And then the whole world stopped making fish.”  Some really creative imagery here.

It’s a neat issue if you ignore the fact that the plot doesn’t really advance all that much.  The characters are still shining as always in Kelly’s book, except for Colossus who is suffering from a case of nothing to do.  One of the better parts of this event.

For Everyone

Uncanny X-Men #362

Uncanny X-Men #362

Writing: Steve Seagle

Art: Chris Bachalo

What Went Down:  The SHIELD Helicarrier shows up over a farm in Nebraska where Legacy Virus victim Pyro is once again losing control of his powers.  Nick Fury calls the X-Men in because Pyro is asking for Xavier and something has him frightened.  The X-Men agree to help.

Xavier has a dream where harmony has been achieved between man and mutant.  He wakes from the dream a prisoner in a dark place.  Over at Cecilia Reyes’ doctor’s office, Cecilia receives a large package from Muir Island. 

The X-Men split up with half going after Pyro while the others help fire fighters and rescue workers.  Along the way Gambit has an internal conversation with the mystery parasite inhabiting his body.  As the X-Men work, they all discuss their feelings about Charles Xavier, what he means to them, and the hope they have for finding him.  Marrow is unimpressed with all of this.

Pyro’s powers are so out of control that Colossus can feel the flames through his metal skin. This is disconcerting because Gambit is attacked by a flame woman who kisses him.  Storm makes it rain, and creates a collapsing air mass.  They chase Pyro and Wolverine punches him out.  He then notices a mysterious figure inside the flames directly behind Pyro.  The figure announces a systems failure and melts. Before he passes out, Pyro tells the X-Men that Xavier sent him before exploding into flames.  Fury arrests him and the X-Men leave. 

Back at the mansion, the giant package Cecilia received for the X-Men turns out to be a new Cerebro unit to replace the one Bastion stole during OZT.  After setting it up, the X-Men use it to try to locate Charles Xavier.  The only problem is that there are two separate signals for Xavier; one in Russia, and the other in San Francisco.  The X-Men declare that they will find their mentor.  In both locations, robots crash to the ground, both searching for Xavier. 

How It Was:  The Hunt for Xavier kicks off with the X-Men running around and not doing a whole lot of anything.  This issue can’t really be described as a fight with Pyro, since most of the story is rescuing civilians, chasing after the villain, and talking about Xavier.  And maybe that’s a necessary evil since Professor X has been out of circulation for almost two years at this point.  Marrow is used as the new reader’s entry point as she quizzes each X-Man on the significance of Professor X and what he means to the team.

At this point in X-History it was well established that the writers of both books wanted to bring the X-Men back to basics with less dependence on technology.  Hence, their technology was stolen or destroyed by Bastion.  So imagine my surprise when the X-Men’s sophisticated mutant detecting computer Cerebro is casually replaced when Moira Mactaggert decides to send them a spare.  Why did she wait so long, especially when she knows that Charles is missing?  This just feels like some lazy plot convenience to detect Charles and get the story on the road. 

As for the rest of the story, it’s mostly just fighting fire.  At one point Pyro conjures a fire woman to kiss Gambit.  I’m pretty sure this should give him some serious burns and facial disfigurement, but it doesn’t.  Perhaps the mist lady helps him, but this is never explained at all.  Poor Pyro has never been as pathetic as he is taken out by a fire extinguisher from Kitty and one punch from Wolverine; this dying of the Legacy Virus shtick is getting pretty tired for the character. 

This is an okay issue with some weird plotting choices made out of plot necessity.  The revelation of two Xavier signals reeks of the need to pad this story out, but at least the books go bi-weekly to accommodate the long story (remember when six issue stories weren’t an industry norm?  Those were the days.).  Not the most exciting kick off, but it’s also not unreadable.

For X-Fans

Getting It Together

Hello all!  Just a quick note that I will be resuming regular posting (or at least semi-regular) tomorrow.  Hopefully with my spring break coming up this week I'll be able to get ahead on the comics I want to read so I won't always be so behind.  Also, if you've noted that some of the newer reviews seem to have changed, you're not going insane.  Upon further reflection, I decided I only needed three levels of recommendation for my blog, not four.  After all, having two medium ratings is sort of redundant.  Sorry for any confusion, and for once again letting life get in the way, but I hope you like what we have coming up.  So stay tuned for an X-Men Christmas in the style of Dickens (no...really), The Hunt for Xavier, and a roadtrip to Russia for the male X-Men in X-Men: Liberators. 

X-Men #81

X-Men #81

Writing: Joe Kelly

Art: Adam Kubert

What Went Down:  The X-Men have crudely reconstructed a makeshift Danger Room to help them train.  Despite Nightcrawler’s efforts, Marrow doesn’t want to participate.  Storm tries to order Marrow, but the Morlock complains that all their training didn’t help them with Operation Zero Tolerance or protecting Professor X.  At the boathouse, Gambit is exercising and working up the nerve to go see Rogue.  When Rogue shows up, he manages to embarrass himself completely.

In Boston a hooded figure laughs and talks to herself.  Up in the attic Storm shows her garden to Colossus while they reconnect.  Wolverine and Kitty do the same thing while practicing knife throwing.  In Boston, Rogue and Gambit meet to escape the prying ears of the X-Men.  Gambit tries to make Rogue guilty for leaving him.  Their discussion is interrupted by new villain Kali, who channels energy through a staff and hears voices.  She fights the two X-Men, calling them lovers and angering Rogue.  Gambit knocks her away and admits to Rogue that it was his mind’s self-hate that influenced her decision.  Then they work together to defeat Kali, who promptly explodes in a fury of green energy. Gambit and Rogue talk, and he stops short of saying he loves her.  Rogue thinks he’s just afraid, but actually he is possessed by a green mist woman who threatens to kill Rogue and the other X-Men.

How It Was:  Although the main emphasis is on Gambit and Rogue, Kelly’s script gives every character his or her own moment to shine.  The opening four pages do a wonderful job of setting up where most of the characters are at this point.  Wolverine and Storm are struggling with Marrow, while the Excalibur 3 are trying their best to fit back in and keep it light.  The tension between Marrow and Storm is much more interesting than Marrow stealing some pictures.  The reunion between Gambit and Rogue is handled very well, and Kelly wisely chooses to cut the awkwardness with some humor. 

The conversation between Gambit and Rogue handles all the necessary chores.  Their mutual interest in each other is reaffirmed, it is firmly established that Rogue left Gambit because she had absorbed his self-loathing, and a new obstacle is placed in the couple’s way to keep them from getting together and becoming boring.  Kelly tries to tie in the other X-Men by cutting to some sporadic conversations about characters and relationships, but it is all tangential and never goes anywhere. 

The big weakness is the villain Kali.  She is a goofy character brought in because this is a super hero comic, and darn it we need a fight somewhere.  She talks to herself, and she will never be seen again, so feel free to forget about her.  Kubert does a wonderful job with the action, both here and in the Danger Room.  He really sells the emotions of the characters as well, such as when Rogue blows off Gambit’s white rose, or the jolly teasing of Colossus. 

Forgetable villain aside, this is a great issue.  It gets the Rogue/Gambit relationship back on track, and it has some fun with the characters.  As for the end, the green smoke girl is interesting at first, but this drags on for quite some time until it’s finally done away with for good.  Still a very good read if you love light character pieces a la the majority of Scott Lobdell’s run.

X-Fans Should Read

Uncanny X-Men #361

Uncanny X-Men #361

Writing: Steve Seagle

Art: Steve Skroce

What Went Down:  We open on a fight between Storm and an army of Korean monk warriors, with  Kitty Pryde as back up.  After dispatching the bad guys, Storm’s contact shows up—X-villain Black Tom Cassidy.  Black Tom swears the warriors weren’t allied with him, and claims he needs the X-Men’s help. 

Back at the mansion, Wolverine discovers Rogue returning from a trip to Antarctica searching for Gambit.  Rogue explains that the only reason she left him there was because Gambit’s memories and personality were subconsciously telling her to.  Outside the room, Colossus and Nightcrawler are chasing Marrow, who has stolen Peter’s sketch pad.  After getting the pad, Kurt is attacked by Marrow, who in turn is stopped by Rogue.  Marrow is chastised, but explains that she just wanted to look at the pad because it was pretty.  Then she storms off.  Wolverine announces that he is moving outside the mansion to return to nature and such.

Back in Seoul, Black Tom explains that the Juggernaut is dying.  He was led into a trap based on false information about a second Cytoraak Gem.  The gem in question instead sucked the power from the villain.  When they arrive at the hideout, Juggernaut has left and smashed through a wall.  Storm and Kitty accuse Tom of lying, but go out to search for Cain anyways.  There’s also someone in the shadows watching. 

Enraged by his situation, Juggernaut has decided to go on a rampage, even without his full power.  As Storm tries to contain the damage, Gambit shows up on a motorcycle and puts down the bad guy.  Storm then yells at him for not contacting his loved ones in all this time and for attacking the dying villain.  Fortunately the X-Men find a map in Juggernaut’s pants that leads them to a temple where the crystal is being held. 

Colossus draws a picture for Marrow and accidently walks in on her making a magazine collage, which embarrasses her.  Over at the temple, Kitty, Gambit, and Storm fight off more of the mystical warriors, as well as various temple traps.  Kitty reaches the gem first, but leaves it with Gambit to go check on Storm.  Finding that Gambit has vanished, the two X-Women decide to return to Black Tom.  They are surprised to find Gambit already there, and the Juggernaut returned to full health.  Cain begrudgenly thanks them, and Storm invites Gambit to return to the X-Men.  When asked how he got out of the Arctic, Gambit says he walked, and we see a flashback of two sets of footprints in the snow. 

How It Was:  Ah now this is a fun one.  This is the return of Gambit, gone for eleven issues since his trial.  It’s also a preview for his new ongoing series drawn by Steve Skroce. 

There’s a lot of action in this book; we get an opening fight, a battle with Juggernaut, and the finale with more ninjas and temple traps.  All of it is rendered with Skroce’s keen eye for choreography and framing.  The Juggernaut fight, which is relatively brief, becomes one of the moments of the issue thanks to a gorgeous sequence of Gambit doing a flip on a motorcycle while showering exploding cards onto the villain.  The warriors and their temple have some really awesome designs as well, and there are loads of them in every fight panel.  Skroce’s style really emphasizes action and movement well, like when Gambit uses some spears to cross a moat, or the aforementioned motorcycle sequence.

While this issue could’ve gotten by on its action, there is a lot going on in the character department as well.  We have Storm torn between her principles as a hero and distrust of Black Tom.  Kitty is torn between her respect for Storm and her knowledge that the villains will screw them.  There’s a humbled though in denial Juggernaut which is a refreshing take.  And then everyone gets even more emotionally conflicted and tense when Gambit pops up out of nowhere.  What started off as a story about ambiguous trust gains a whole new layer at just the right moment.  The dialogue works really well, especially Gambit’s equips and attempts to pretend like nothing happened.

It’s not perfect; the stuff with Marrow feels a little off.  Marrow was originally this jaded teen that has seen more in her short, traumatic life than any of the X-Men.  Here she’s played off as kind of bratty.  I do like that she’s embarrassed of her appreciation of beauty, but I feel like there are better ways than the teen girl collage, such as her previous crushes on teammates.  The idea is great; I’m just not thrilled with the execution.

This is a fun one and a great jumping on point for the time.  This may be Seagle’s best script as he finds a great mix of action, humor, and emotional tension that opens up character directions for months to come.  A welcome return for Gambit.

Everyone Should Read