Writing: Jim Lee and Scott Lobdell
Art: Jim Lee and Mark Texiera
What Went Down: Longshot awakens to find himself in a falling house. After it crashes, he walks outside to discover that he’s crushed a person and cannot remember who he is.
Cyclops, Rogue, Wolverine, and Beast emerge from some wreckage; it is at this point we learn that the X-Men are trapped in a parody of the Wizard of Oz. Cyclops=Scarecrow, except he has no confidence instead, Rogue=Tin Man, except she literally can’t feel because her hands are covered, and Wolverine=Lion, as in a total coward. Add in the Beast, who can only talk like Scooby Doo, as a fill in for Toto, and you just know this is going to be a wild ride.
Anyways, after meeting the X-Men, Longshot conveniently remembers everything. He tries to explain the situation to the X-Men, but they don’t get it, so they all decide to go off to see the Wizard.
Meanwhile, Mojo and more captive X-Men are watching the proceedings from his base. In case you don’t know, Mojo is a villain who lives in a dimension run by television where whoever has the best ratings is superior. The working class rebels are trying to end Mojo’s tyranny since they are forced to perform on these “shows” and most of them are quite dangerous. He reveals that his plan is to make the X-Men fight each other; everyone responds with self-aware jokes about how that always happens anyway.
The rest of the issue is made up of a flashback that reveals how the X-Men arrived in this predicament. Dazzler and one of Mojo’s spies go to the mansion to enlist the X-Men in helping to overthrow Mojo. The spy teleports the blue team to Mojoworld, weakening them in the process. Mojo’s forces, including a brainwashed Longshot, are able to completely subdue the Blue Team, and Dazzler seemingly gets killed and falls in the water.
After the flashback, we see that the remaining X-Men, plus Lila Cheney, are dressed as flying monkeys and attacking Longshot’s group. And finally, a mysterious character discovers Dazzler in a gutter and rescues her.
Bonus—What Else Went Down: This issue and the next include a seven page back up story starring Maverick, from issues 5-7. The story opens with a bunch of soldiers pointing guns at Maverick while he appears to be surrendering. To rectify this, he lobs a thermite grenade at them and reveals that he can seal himself in his armor.
It turns out that Maverick is hunting a man named Ryking—this is important for issues 12 and 13 although it is never made clear why. It also turns out that Maverick works for a guy named Barrington, which is the name Wolverine discovered on the computer in X-Men #8. Just as our hero is about to pull the trigger on his target, he is hit from behind. It turns out that Warhawk, an obscure X-Men villain who I’ll explain more about later, is protecting Ryking.
How It Was: Well Jim Lee and Scott Lobdell had fun with this one, didn’t they? While it’s kind of silly, the humor is self-aware enough to work; seeing Cyclops and Wolverine as complete opposites is worth a few giggles, as is the scene with everyone complaining about another X-Men versus X-Men fight. It’s a Mojo story, but it is one of the better done Mojo stories that I’ve read. As for Dazzler and Longshot, I’ve never gotten the appeal of the characters, but some fans go crazy for them, go figure. To each their own, I guess.
My only real complaint about the story is Longshot’s completely unnecessary amnesia that disappears within the first two pages. If I wanted to get picky, I’d complain about the character at the end, who later turns out to be Mojo II, but more on that later.
As for the back up strip, it’s pretty forgettable. It’s supposed to be setup for the next story arc, but that story never explains why this story is important, and then the whole thing gets forgotten. Maverick doesn’t really get any depth added to him; he is basically your average 90s hero with a machine gun and an ungodly amount of pouches drawn on his costume. And the inclusion of Warhawk, who hadn’t been seen in an X-Men story since Uncanny #110 back in 1978, is absolutely stupefying. Why anyone would want to read a story about Maverick fighting a bunch of nameless thugs and a D-list villain is beyond me. Also the coloring is really dark and muddy looking, and the inking is a little too thick for my taste; it almost looks like a coloring book.
A fun story brought down by a second, awful story.
B+
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