Uncanny X-Men #312

Uncanny X-Men #312
Writing: Scott Lobdell
Art: Joe Madureira

What Went Down: Storm and Yukio begin the issue by diving out of a window in an exciting fashion. They are being pursued by a member of the Phalanx—a techno-organic race of aliens that assimilate people and matter into their hive mind culture. To fill you in on Yukio, she is an ally of Wolverine’s who met Storm during one of the X-Men’s adventures. Storm was so taken by the woman’s devil may care-live for today attitude that she ended up shaving her hair into a mohawk and wearing a leather biker costume for a good portion of the late eighties. Anyways, while they are being shot at, Yukio reveals to Storm that she is a member of Professor X’s Mutant Underground, and also that the monster has been chasing her for weeks.

At the same time, Gambit is on his motorcycle en route to meet Storm and Yukio. He flirts with a female motorist at a red light, but notices a bolt of lightning in the distance. This is the same bolt that Storm has summoned to kill their pursuer. Yukio goes to pick up a Phalanx hand as a sample, but the hand reforms and shoots her with an energy blast.

Down the street, a human is beating the charred remains of the Phalanx with a bat, claiming that he was the one who saved the day. Storm tries to stop the man, but she is too late and he is absorbed by the Phalanx. A fight ensues, with Gambit showing up to save the day. Storm flies the group away, but crashes in front of the Sea, Air, and Space Museum. Yukio pulls a knife on Gambit, saying that she remembers him from a previous job and doesn’t trust him.

The group is then confronted by the attractive woman that Gambit was flirting with earlier. She turns out to be a Nation Security Council Agent, but when the other Phalanx monster tracks them down, she reveals that she is also a member of the Phalanx.

And finally, at the mansion Beast is trying to resuscitate Iceman, who was found unconscious in Emma Frost’s room after being blasted by energy last issue. After Bobby starts breathing again, you’ll note that he mumbles “Pierce, no,” which is foreshadowing that the White Queen is in his body, since the last thing she remembers is seeing Pierce lead Sentinels to the Hellfire Club from back in issue #281. Professor X gets caught up telepathically, via Jubilee, and Bishop has Sabretooth shackled to the wall. Creed taunts the X-Men, explaining how Iceman is a loser who has wasted his potential. While everyone’s attention is on Bobby, the White Queen appears to awaken.

How It Was: First things first, there is a new Uncanny regular artist in town. Joe Madureira (or Joe Mad for those who don’t want to be driven insane by constantly trying to spell his name) replaces John Romita Jr. with this issue. Whereas Romita’s work is a little more traditional, although still distinct, Joe Mad’s art definitely has a bit of the manga influence that is all the rage with the kids these days. Proportions are less realistic, eyes are wider, and explosions are brighter and much, much more prevalent. It takes some getting used to; he really is a good and dynamic action artist, although he was prone to deadline issues. Plus this issue, he really captures the Phalanx particularly well.

As for the story, the first question one probably has upon reading this issue is why Yukio? Basically the only reason I can think of is that the Phalanx were prone to attack X-Men supporting cast members, or at least that is how it was initially set up; Opal Tanaka and the deceased Candy Southern set the precedent. So Yukio is only really here because she is tangentially tied to the X-Men, and she disappears after this story. There’s also a back story with Gambit that is alluded to, but never addressed in the X-Men books, although it could have been told in Unlimited or one of the Gambit series.

As for the rest of the story, it’s pretty much non-stop action; Gambit gets a particularly good action sequence involving a motorcycle, and Storm also gets to do some impressive feats with her powers. The problem is that the Phalanx have now been reworked as one of those enemies that adapts with every attack, so they just keep coming until the writer can come up with some contrived way for them to finally stop or die. There’s also the double twist of the motorist turned government agent turned Phalanx that is completely unnecessary because nobody has built any kind of attachment to this background character for it to matter.

As for the scenes at the mansion, I think the last panel is supposed to be a mistake of some kind, since Emma isn’t supposed to wake up until well after Bobby does. Still, I promise this is building to something pretty good.

B